FabSwingers.com forum: Anybody left?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Maybe it's just a quiet time but I don't seem to be getting as many messages as once before from people that I'm interested in.

- Is it because I've put too many tick boxes?

- Maybe I've said no to everyone (I don't mean that in a high and mighty way, just that I don't feel a connection with most and I feel it's important to get along)?

- There aren't many people that fit my criteria on here?

- People aren't as active during the end of the year?

- My profile isn't appealing?

- I'm not what the people I'm interested in are looking for?

Any advice or help would be appreciated

Thanks loves xx

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

Its probably a mix of everything you have said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've tried, but as a non-pushy arrogant gentlemen, I won't pursue when the recipient is not interested

And to answer your question it can be many and neither of the factors, sometimes it simply is quiet.

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By *4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

N 42.709787, W -84.556222

I think part of it is time of year, but you also sound picky too.

It's not bad to be picky, we are too but it makes it hard to meet new people who might not be what your expected, good or bad.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think part of it is time of year, but you also sound picky too.

It's not bad to be picky, we are too but it makes it hard to meet new people who might not be what your expected, good or bad."

I'm picky but open minded. At the moment, I'm not into white guys and I want someone that is respectful and open to friends with benefits rather than one time meets. That's really it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As said above, maybe a mix of everything, but there's nothing wrong with being fussy. I'm fussy, which equates me to me having no meets haha

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

Having read your profile, I wouldn't say that there is anything that potential meets will see as unattainable.

Could be mainly because it is year end and the holiday season. Come to think of it, I would say that's probably the only reason.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As said above, maybe a mix of everything, but there's nothing wrong with being fussy. I'm fussy, which equates me to me having no meets haha

Maybe, I'm fussy and I do still meet people even if they don't tick all or sometimes any boxes but I've never been satisfied with the meets so I started sticking to try and find someone that would do it for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's nothing wrong with that though, saves wasting time with pointless meets and shit sex. Means you get what you want in the end

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By *eneral HysteriaMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

Maybe those who meet your criteria just don't want you.

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By *4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

N 42.709787, W -84.556222

"I think part of it is time of year, but you also sound picky too.

It's not bad to be picky, we are too but it makes it hard to meet new people who might not be what your expected, good or bad.

I'm picky but open minded. At the moment, I'm not into white guys and I want someone that is respectful and open to friends with benefits rather than one time meets. That's really it"

Nothing wrong with knowing what you want but it really narrows down what's out there. Then taking distance into account only makes it harder.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Having read your profile, I wouldn't say that there is anything that potential meets will see as unattainable.

Could be mainly because it is year end and the holiday season. Come to think of it, I would say that's probably the only reason."

Hopefully some doors open in the new year, just didn't want to be giving off the wrong impression

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All the things you've suggested sound likely. In my experience, you get the most attention to your profile when you first join. You're fresh meat, and that doesn't last.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Having read your profile, I wouldn't say that there is anything that potential meets will see as unattainable.

Could be mainly because it is year end and the holiday season. Come to think of it, I would say that's probably the only reason."

Really? I think that's unlikely.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

It will be quieter people are spending time with their families. It makes it much more difficult to get out and about when children are off school and Christmas and new year socialising is going on.

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By *crumdiddlyumptiousMan
over a year ago

Maybe this lifestyle suits you, But being young maybe you would stand a better change of meeting the type of Men you like in regular clubs or through friends etc etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's stopping you from finding the man you want?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Maybe this lifestyle suits you, But being young maybe you would stand a better change of meeting the type of Men you like in regular clubs or through friends etc etc"

That's the very reason I'm on here. After trying that route, I've found them to be very selfish in how they treat women both as people as well as in bed.

I joined this to find a more respectful man that would actually be working towards making it enjoyable for me as I am doing the same for him.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's stopping you from finding the man you want?"

I suppose if I knew the reason then I wouldn't have created the thread. I'm a bit clueless on that one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's stopping you from finding the man you want?

I suppose if I knew the reason then I wouldn't have created the thread. I'm a bit clueless on that one "

Perhaps your ego has been dealt a blow maybe?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Be proactive and search him out yourself, get messaging them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What's stopping you from finding the man you want?

I suppose if I knew the reason then I wouldn't have created the thread. I'm a bit clueless on that one

Perhaps your ego has been dealt a blow maybe?"

Don't really have an ego, not that I push out into the world anyway. I haven't had any negativity in my life recently that would cause me to think ill of myself though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What's stopping you from finding the man you want?

I suppose if I knew the reason then I wouldn't have created the thread. I'm a bit clueless on that one

Perhaps your ego has been dealt a blow maybe?

Don't really have an ego, not that I push out into the world anyway. I haven't had any negativity in my life recently that would cause me to think ill of myself though"

I think we all have an ego.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I think we all have an ego. "

Confidence or arrogance maybe

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Maybe this lifestyle suits you, But being young maybe you would stand a better change of meeting the type of Men you like in regular clubs or through friends etc etc

That's the very reason I'm on here. After trying that route, I've found them to be very selfish in how they treat women both as people as well as in bed.

I joined this to find a more respectful man that would actually be working towards making it enjoyable for me as I am doing the same for him. "

I think you might need to manage your expectations in that respect. A fair proportion of the men in the age group you're looking for are likely to have expectations that differ from yours markedly.

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

I'm really not sure what percentage of fab users fall within the OPs quite narrow age preference. The majority of forum users seem to be either at the upper end or over at least.

Obviously that's her choice but it could be one limiting factor perhaps?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we all have an ego.

Confidence or arrogance maybe "

Doesnt have to be either. We all have an ego related to a sense of ourselves. Some who are full of themselves will usually be described as someone with an ego. Right now your not getting attention via mails which perhaps has bruised your ego a little

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm really not sure what percentage of fab users fall within the OPs quite narrow age preference. The majority of forum users seem to be either at the upper end or over at least.

Obviously that's her choice but it could be one limiting factor perhaps? "

True enough but forums represent maybe 1% of the entire site if not less.

Reality is at first you get more attention, after receiving your first veri's you once again get more attention, uploading pics gets you more attention but once all the sources run out it can become stale for a period of time.

One day I received 3 winks from couples but then didn't receive one for the next 2 months. Its pretty random to be honest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tammy I have been having the same problems and think of doing the same and getting rid of my profile and trying to find some naughty fun through other routes as it has gone very quite round hull

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By *lackMetalMan
over a year ago

Centre

"Having read your profile, I wouldn't say that there is anything that potential meets will see as unattainable.

Could be mainly because it is year end and the holiday season. Come to think of it, I would say that's probably the only reason.

Really? I think that's unlikely. "

Hmm, what else would you say could be the reason?

The only other thing after having revisited this is possibly the narrow age gap.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

it's possible it's mostly white guys in your area? and they actually read your profile.

for myself i've found it's got a lot busier on here because men are off work. unfortunately i don't have time to meet anyone.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

It's true, while back from uni u am in a predominantly white area but they only see it as a challenge or to try get me to fit in "one more".

I have a small age range because before when I had it higher, I felt uncomfortable with men that were older. This is completely dependent on the individuals though I see that.

What age would you suggest I raise it to? Given my hesitation and my age? Understandably I am the only one to be able to answer this, just asking for suggestions.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

34 sounds reasonable.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

experiment with your age range really. i have done.

like it was higher when i joined but a fair few guys in their 40s were rude when i didn't reply straight away, so i blocked anyone over 38. then i was still getting too many messages so i blocked very younger guys (as i wasn't that interested in meeting them when they messaged), so my lower end went up to 25, then it went up to 28 as i got more of a feel for who was messaging me, and i'm happy with the 28-38 age range i have now.

it can take months to figure out what you want on here and what is the best way to get that.

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

One thing that will not help is a very narrow age range.

And if you are heart set on younger guys then you miss out on the more relaxed and confident men who focus on pleasing the women and not just themselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How many men do you mail directly?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One thing that will not help is a very narrow age range.

And if you are heart set on younger guys then you miss out on the more relaxed and confident men who focus on pleasing the women and not just themselves. "

Yes up it to 43

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Have upped it a little to 32. Will see how that goes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't get half as many messages since I wrote such a lengthy profile... but I am

Not complaining in any way shape or form.

However the people I want to message me don't and I don't have the confidence to message them

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

"Have upped it a little to 32. Will see how that goes"

Good luck with that. Can I say that your pictures are very sexy. I am amazed you do not get more interest.

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By *orny IrishMan
over a year ago

Rural Wiltshire

"I don't get half as many messages since I wrote such a lengthy profile... but I am

Not complaining in any way shape or form.

However the people I want to message me don't and I don't have the confidence to message them

And some of the ones who do message you are older guys who are only suitable for coffee. We need to arrange our coffee in 2017.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I don't mean to sound unappreciative. I get plenty of messages, they're just never pleasant. Either treat me as a challenge are disrespectful, not what I'm looking for or just no connection. Maybe I'm just fussy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does quantity really matter?! I'd say quality is preferable unless you just want the gratification of feeling wanted. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

not fussy at all to not like being disrespected.

unfortunately some men just don't get that women who love sex like being treated as something more than a free prostitute.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"not fussy at all to not like being disrespected.

unfortunately some men just don't get that women who love sex like being treated as something more than a free prostitute."

That's exactly it

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does quantity really matter?! I'd say quality is preferable unless you just want the gratification of feeling wanted. X"

That's what I'm trying to say though, there is no quality in the messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"not fussy at all to not like being disrespected.

unfortunately some men just don't get that women who love sex like being treated as something more than a free prostitute."

Haha I have found my status updates have been mini rants recently for this reason. Some have still taken it the wrong way. Oh well.

A long profile ranting wasn't enough either..

I just count my lucky stars and move on.

Horny-Irish - aye we will have to arrange that

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"not fussy at all to not like being disrespected.

unfortunately some men just don't get that women who love sex like being treated as something more than a free prostitute.

Haha I have found my status updates have been mini rants recently for this reason. Some have still taken it the wrong way. Oh well.

A long profile ranting wasn't enough either..

I just count my lucky stars and move on.

Horny-Irish - aye we will have to arrange that "

I actually love your bio, it's the same as what I want to express but you've put it in a much better way than I could have!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think you'll work it out -the best age range for you. where the guys approaching you are more respectful and you find them attractive and enjoy meeting them.

good luck, does tend to be trial and error and depends on what type of guy joins the site in your area as well.

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Go get them yourself love. Don't sit on a pedestal expecting him to fall on your profile.

I've had some of my favorite meets from being proactive by searching and messaging profiles that tickle my pickle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

could be that t-shirt and nickers lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Go get them yourself love. Don't sit on a pedestal expecting him to fall on your profile.

I've had some of my favorite meets from being proactive by searching and messaging profiles that tickle my pickle "

Didn't mean for it to come across as though I was sitting on a pedestal?

I have messaged guys first but rarely a profile will take my fancy enough for me to message them. There should be a class for how to take pictures that shows men in a realistic yet flattering light

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"could be that t-shirt and nickers lol"

What?

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath

"Go get them yourself love. Don't sit on a pedestal expecting him to fall on your profile.

I've had some of my favorite meets from being proactive by searching and messaging profiles that tickle my pickle

Didn't mean for it to come across as though I was sitting on a pedestal?

I have messaged guys first but rarely a profile will take my fancy enough for me to message them. There should be a class for how to take pictures that shows men in a realistic yet flattering light "

I think my pictures capture that quite well. That's what I'm going for anyway

You're quite right though a lot of guys don't bother to put any effort into their pictures!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think my pictures capture that quite well. That's what I'm going for anyway

You're quite right though a lot of guys don't bother to put any effort into their pictures!"

Some very tasteful pics too

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By *egasus NobMan
over a year ago

Wandsworth

Guys can't win your message pestering you don't, why?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Guys can't win your message pestering you don't, why?"

I don't understand..?

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

It might be the case you're not what they are looking for or they don't live in your location.

If you were a male poster by now you'd have been advised to go to a club - it will help negate the effect of those poorly taken photos you mentioned earlier.

Lots of women are 'fussy' but find cock to suit.

Be more proactive and you'll find what you're looking for - as it stands right now you're not fresh fanny so a bit more leg work might be required. Good luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are actively searching and not finding what you are looking for then there is a good chance they don't exist in your area. You are not going to get a message from someone who fits the bill if you can't find them when searching...

Ruby

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I,m not getting many messages anymore either, I think my profile is putting them off! Lol

Plus my age too. XXX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I never get many messages anyway but I have noticed a lot of friends have gone unlos in the last 2 wks

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By *ed wineMan
over a year ago

Where the streets have no name

It is normal. When a woman/couple opens a new profile, gets dozens of messages from local guys. Once they have been rejected (this is not a critic...), most of them do not message again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP i think your profile is very confusing and is giving out mixed messages...

If you wish to be treated with respect and to receive respectful messages, why not try hiding those first few pics on your profile ......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't like white guys OP, i'm out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's a combination of all those things, but also having had a quick look at your profile, it's quite daunting! I'm all for being quite specific about what you want, but you've given a kik address and then in same breath comes across like your saying don't even bother messaging me as I'll block you anyway. I'd personally get rid of the kik bit and chat on here for a while and then give it out. Because I'm guessing you are only getting messages from the people you aren't interested in.

I'll take my hat off to you though, I'd never have had the confidence at 20 to use a site like this, hell im nearly 40 and I still struggle on here!

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

Three meets in six months is pretty successful in here

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Having since changed the age, there are a lot more options. I think it was just because I'd exhausted the choice of men in my area.

I understand my profile is now a little off putting but they weren't getting the hint before on what I liked so I had to make it more simple.

Thanmyou all for the critique, I'll take it all on board, I appreciate every comment!!

I've had more than three meets, since being on this site I've had quite a few more actually but the guys I have met have been on the way out of the site or didn't feel comfortable with "rating" an experience and I haven't pushed for a very because it has never been that important for me

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By *oiluvfunMan
over a year ago

Penrith

"Having since changed the age, there are a lot more options. I think it was just because I'd exhausted the choice of men in my area.

I understand my profile is now a little off putting but they weren't getting the hint before on what I liked so I had to make it more simple.

Thanmyou all for the critique, I'll take it all on board, I appreciate every comment!!

A veri is to verify a profile is genuine, not to 'rate' a person. I don't understand why people feel the need to put intimate details of a meet out there in public, it's really not necessary, and certainly not discreet.

On the basis of what you have just said about having had more meets than you've had veris, then you are having more fun than many in here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe this lifestyle suits you, But being young maybe you would stand a better change of meeting the type of Men you like in regular clubs or through friends etc etc

That's the very reason I'm on here. After trying that route, I've found them to be very selfish in how they treat women both as people as well as in bed.

I joined this to find a more respectful man that would actually be working towards making it enjoyable for me as I am doing the same for him. "

Not being funny but try broadening your horizons you may meet people who you wouldn't of thought that was right for you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Not being funny but try broadening your horizons you may meet people who you wouldn't of thought that was right for you. "

What do you mean?

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By *heaspieswingerMan
over a year ago

Peak District

Just a further thought which has occurred after messaging you privately, and rereading this thread...

Is it just sex you're looking for, or something more. If it's more, I'd say you're unlikely to find it here.

If it's sex and perhaps friendship then you're in the right place!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just a further thought which has occurred after messaging you privately, and rereading this thread...

Is it just sex you're looking for, or something more. If it's more, I'd say you're unlikely to find it here.

If it's sex and perhaps friendship then you're in the right place!"

Just sex and friendship, don't have the time to have a committed relationship with my studies and being at uni

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could the problem be that you want to hang out and NOT have sex?

They're probably all thinking "I have man friends for that!?!"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Could the problem be that you want to hang out and NOT have sex?

They're probably all thinking "I have man friends for that!?!"

I said I want the options. I'm looking for a friend with benefits not a fuck buddy.

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

rephrase your profile, is my suggestion to the positive..

looking for..etc rather than so snappy..

atm to be honest, you just sound like hard work x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"rephrase your profile, is my suggestion to the positive..

looking for..etc rather than so snappy..

atm to be honest, you just sound like hard work x"

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"rephrase your profile, is my suggestion to the positive..

looking for..etc rather than so snappy..

atm to be honest, you just sound like hard work x"

I've recently changed it to that because that's the only way guys are listening instead of treating me like a challenge

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By *r Costa xxMan
over a year ago

stirling

"rephrase your profile, is my suggestion to the positive..

looking for..etc rather than so snappy..

atm to be honest, you just sound like hard work x

I've recently changed it to that because that's the only way guys are listening instead of treating me like a challenge "

I'm sure the reward is worth the effort, but so many requirements, and I'm white so I'm out

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"rephrase your profile, is my suggestion to the positive..

looking for..etc rather than so snappy..

atm to be honest, you just sound like hard work x

I've recently changed it to that because that's the only way guys are listening instead of treating me like a challenge

I'm sure the reward is worth the effort, but so many requirements, and I'm white so I'm out

The requirements are basically be friendly and respectful. And currently not white.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm friendly and respectful might struggle with the not being white part unless you happen to be colour blind

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"rephrase your profile, is my suggestion to the positive..

looking for..etc rather than so snappy..

atm to be honest, you just sound like hard work x

I've recently changed it to that because that's the only way guys are listening instead of treating me like a challenge

I'm sure the reward is worth the effort, but so many requirements, and I'm white so I'm out

The requirements are basically be friendly and respectful. And currently not white. "

You need to start meeting mingers....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

You need to start meeting mingers....

Not saying I haven't....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's nothing wrong with us mingers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to start meeting mingers....

Not saying I haven't.... "

Well keep doing it... eventually you will fall for one and have a friends with benefits.

I'm also searching in a small niche market.... for 2017 I'm only meeting people that say playing with white only on their profiles. I'm hoping to bring them to the dark side....

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Surely older lookers is better than younger mingers?

Just an opinion, not me obviously as i'm waaaay too old (and I'd agree with you).

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's probably the who "no white guys thing"

So you like every other race apart from the less than 10% of the world's population that are white men. Your tastes but I'd be put off you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to start meeting mingers....

Not saying I haven't....

Well keep doing it... eventually you will fall for one and have a friends with benefits.

fuck no. they turn into sex pests and won't leave you alone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I see nothing wrong with your profile. Everyone is entitled to their preferences here. I think all the "single" men are busy this time of the year with their commitments.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"It's probably the who "no white guys thing"

So you like every other race apart from the less than 10% of the world's population that are white men. Your tastes but I'd be put off you."

At this moment I'd agree, but as it says "At this time"..So yes cutting down on substantial contact to non whites under 32 will reduce the resource pool.

No different to a couple having "Looking to try BBC, so please only those suitable contact us".

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By *rimo4uMan
over a year ago

north kensington w10

"Maybe it's just a quiet time but I don't seem to be getting as many messages as once before from people that I'm interested in.

- Is it because I've put too many tick boxes?

- Maybe I've said no to everyone (I don't mean that in a high and mighty way, just that I don't feel a connection with most and I feel it's important to get along)?

- There aren't many people that fit my criteria on here?

- People aren't as active during the end of the year?

- My profile isn't appealing?

- I'm not what the people I'm interested in are looking for?

Any advice or help would be appreciated

Thanks loves xx"

Not everybody is going to fancy you, you have to stand out from all the rest on here and There is a lot of competition as well!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe it's just a quiet time but I don't seem to be getting as many messages as once before from people that I'm interested in.

- Is it because I've put too many tick boxes?

- Maybe I've said no to everyone (I don't mean that in a high and mighty way, just that I don't feel a connection with most and I feel it's important to get along)?

- There aren't many people that fit my criteria on here?

- People aren't as active during the end of the year?

- My profile isn't appealing?

- I'm not what the people I'm interested in are looking for?

Any advice or help would be appreciated

Thanks loves xx"

It's because you haven't spoken to me yet!

Gigitty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe it's just a quiet time but I don't seem to be getting as many messages as once before from people that I'm interested in.

- Is it because I've put too many tick boxes?

- Maybe I've said no to everyone (I don't mean that in a high and mighty way, just that I don't feel a connection with most and I feel it's important to get along)?

- There aren't many people that fit my criteria on here?

- People aren't as active during the end of the year?

- My profile isn't appealing?

- I'm not what the people I'm interested in are looking for?

Any advice or help would be appreciated

Thanks loves xx"

I had the same thing going on a few weeks ago. I deleted my profile text and now they are rolling in lol. I'd say for me... the tick boxes were putting them off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never assume you're too picky or too fussy. Never apologise for it. You have set your standard of what you're currently looking for and potential messengers should consider this. There is no possibility of pleasing everybody, so please yourself.

A little patience and those that meet your criteria may start to pop in your box, come the new year. (No pun intended)

Good luck OP.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Such is life.

Get a grip.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Sorry to new posters but as I said about half a at through, it seemed to be the age thing. I had my age limit set a far years lower and having since changed it, the messages are Rollin in. I think I had just exhausted the options of guys in my area that age.

I don't mind if people are put off my profile, the people that are are usually the ones I don't want to meet. If it's ones I'm interested in then oh well, we wouldn't have clicked anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/12/16 16:34:42]

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