FabSwingers.com forum: Slightly upset

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

On a recent visit to a club, me and him where playing in a open room. Me giving him a good blowjob a single appears at the door way he doesn't step in looks, smiles makes eye contact and asks to enter. Him gives the nod and the single enters and start to gently stroke my side and back then moves to my breasts and so on, a few minutes later another single male appears at the door. Looks in, then walks straight in and starts touching me(now he has not spoken, looked at either of us) this put me straight off and I had to stop all playing and walk out, grabbing him's hand on the way out.

Now was I right to feel upset? I was enjoying the extra male and him but feel the third guy over stepped the mark by not even asking. It's put me off a little now has I felt uncomfortable so soon left the club.

Is this the normal thing for singles now( she has two guys a third won't matter attitude) yes we was in a open room but still should they at least ask? Put me of singles a little which I enjoy. Me xx

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

He should have ensured you were in agreement, totally out of order. Good on you for not going ahead with him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had this happen before, some think its a bloody free for all.

You handled it well by the sounds of it so don't let that one time put you off

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes he has touched you without consent. Not clear from your op where but maybe exual assault. Hope you reported him. You were right to stop play x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you I felt a little guilty after has the single who had asked was nice and we chatted a little after and he tried his hard to get me to go back and play has it wasn't his fault and he do say that the other guy had wrecked his chances and not to tar them all with the same brush but me been me I could of punched the other single but I bit my lip and walked off. Maybe we might bump in the respectful single again in the future. X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"On a recent visit to a club, me and him where playing in a open room. Me giving him a good blowjob a single appears at the door way he doesn't step in looks, smiles makes eye contact and asks to enter. Him gives the nod and the single enters and start to gently stroke my side and back then moves to my breasts and so on, a few minutes later another single male appears at the door. Looks in, then walks straight in and starts touching me(now he has not spoken, looked at either of us) this put me straight off and I had to stop all playing and walk out, grabbing him's hand on the way out.

Is this the normal thing for singles now( she has two guys a third won't matter attitude) yes we was in a open room but still should they at least ask? Put me of singles a little which I enjoy. Me xx

In total agreement with you, your not a finger buffet after all!

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

From what you've described he was out of order,... Did you speak to the club's management, ??

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Why didn't you just tell him to leave

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By *atcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Suffolk - East Anglia

You are right to feel the way you do. We've been to clubs where males have tried it on too much in a similar fashion.

Speak to your partner before hand and lay down what is acceptable and what is not. If some male later over steps the mark then be firm and tell them to f**** off!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This kind of thing often happens in clubs I'm afraid , and it's totally out of order .

I always tell an unwanted guy to sling his hook if he does this , and have never had a problem doing so . It's a shame simple etiquette is often ignored . You certainly need to be prepared to say no straight away if clubs are going to be for you .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why didn't you just tell him to leave"

I walked off before my temper took over me.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"Why didn't you just tell him to leave

I walked off before my temper took over me.

Cool

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You have every right to be upset. Sadly single bloke still think it's acceptable to follow, get too close and to touch without invite.

All the clubs I've been to make this basic rule (and let's be honest they wouldn't act like that in work/the pub/supermarket etc) clear when you first go and reiterate at each visit. It's basic respect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'd of done the same as urself , & I completely agree it isn't on , common decency is to obv ask or at least acknowledge the person(s).

You handled it really well, & it's obv upsetting but try to not let it put you off,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The guy was in the wrong well done you x

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

Slightly different _iewpoint here. Playing in an open room is an invitation for people to look and perhaps touch, ideally with permission although in a group situation I enjoy sometimes lots of bodies being present and me being a huge center of attention (narcissistic?). So in your situation I won't mind if others touched me in a sensual way as things build up. But if he shoved his fist up my pussy (or worse) I'd be pissed off. If I told him no and he didn't stop, I'd be pissed off. Otherwise if you want absolute control best to play in a closed room.

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By *ikki ShooterTV/TS
over a year ago

Epsom

The guy was in the wrong..

But "him" should have stepped in to let the newcomer know the boundaries. I am in no way condoning the behaviour of this man but your guy could have nipped this in the bud.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why didn't you just tell him to leave"

Exactly

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By *ust Ms LovinWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

[Removed by poster at 21/12/16 08:16:08]

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By *ust Ms LovinWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Once I (ms)was in the dungeon playing with a women the dungeon was a large area and lots of people watching and playing around us , one single suddenly was wanking and I could see him moving closer and closer i asked him to move back but he continued moving closer to the point he was almost wanking in her face ... until I said ' if you don't move back I'm going to twat you ' safe to say I put him off his stride ... never be afraid to say no or to stop and say it how it is

It's single men like that and who you encountered that makes it's so hard for genuine single males

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why didn't you just tell him to leave"

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By *itsAndTaffCouple
over a year ago

Grays, Essex

I had exactly the same in a club last week

& it's similar to my post yesterday about the way some guys messsge us on here it's like they have a sense of entitlement your on the site or in the club therefore you must be available for sex with whoever drops you a message or touches you

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Slightly different _iewpoint here. Playing in an open room is an invitation for people to look and perhaps touch, ideally with permission although in a group situation I enjoy sometimes lots of bodies being present and me being a huge center of attention (narcissistic?). So in your situation I won't mind if others touched me in a sensual way as things build up. But if he shoved his fist up my pussy (or worse) I'd be pissed off. If I told him no and he didn't stop, I'd be pissed off. Otherwise if you want absolute control best to play in a closed room."
i like been watched so enjoy open rooms, if the second guy had maybe looked made eye contact or asked it may have been slightly different I didn't mind the first guy has he asked and I enjoy a extra male like most ladies but not to just assume cause a extra guy is already playing with me that I want another.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Slightly different _iewpoint here. Playing in an open room is an invitation for people to look and perhaps touch, ideally with permission "

No...it's not.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"The guy was in the wrong..

But "him" should have stepped in to let the newcomer know the boundaries. I am in no way condoning the behaviour of this man but your guy could have nipped this in the bud.

"
my guy was lay down enjoying a blow job he gave the first guy the ok to join us and then his _iew was slightly blocked with the extra guy who joined us so couldn't really see the third guy probably he just walk in and proceed to touch me which was when I got up and grabbed his hand and we left the room.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Slightly different _iewpoint here. Playing in an open room is an invitation for people to look and perhaps touch, ideally with permission

No...it's not. "

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

As a single fem I've been touched by guys without permission in clubs countless times! (Not calling men - just as often women touch men without permission - also wrong but rarely reported or remarked upon!) In the clubs I attend regularly most of the guys know I don't appreciate it so don't do it but it still happens occasionally! Tbh I no longer get upset about it - I rarely play in public anyway (usually only if there are no private rooms available or in rare group play!) and usually state from the outset that those not specifically invited to play can look but not touch! Any new guys who come along tend to be told by the others not to touch!

Works fine for me and is generally drama and hassle free!

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Once I (ms)was in the dungeon playing with a women the dungeon was a large area and lots of people watching and playing around us , one single suddenly was wanking and I could see him moving closer and closer i asked him to move back but he continued moving closer to the point he was almost wanking in her face ... until I said ' if you don't move back I'm going to twat you ' safe to say I put him off his stride ... never be afraid to say no or to stop and say it how it is

It's single men like that and who you encountered that makes it's so hard for genuine single males"

will try next time if it happens again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I honestly think it's just one of those things where he misunderstood the situation. You did the right thing and stopped it going any further, and he did the right thing by not making a scene and running after you. Did he apologise at all ?

He was just one of those typical chancers that you get at clubs or on any website like this.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As a single fem I've been touched by guys without permission in clubs countless times! (Not calling men - just as often women touch men without permission - also wrong but rarely reported or remarked upon!) In the clubs I attend regularly most of the guys know I don't appreciate it so don't do it but it still happens occasionally! Tbh I no longer get upset about it - I rarely play in public anyway (usually only if there are no private rooms available or in rare group play!) and usually state from the outset that those not specifically invited to play can look but not touch! Any new guys who come along tend to be told by the others not to touch!

Works fine for me and is generally drama and hassle free! "

Think I need to toughen up and start saying things then need to growl like a lion instead of been a pussy cat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I tend to politely say 'no thank you', Number One Chap reinforces if required. Only once was the situation so uncomfortable that it totally killed our buzz and we went back to our hotel. We informed the club management discretely as we left and had a lovely message from them the following day responding politely to our points and explaining what they would be doing differently to help manage new single male visitors expectations.

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By *ide standMan
over a year ago

Cymau

Club etiquette, unfortunately some people will never get it through their heads. I've played as part of a couple and now as single guy and it never ceases to amaze me. Ignorance or arrogant?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anecdotally we had a similar thing happen a few years ago and we haven't been back to a club since.

We were in a rammed couples room and there were 3 couples at one end of the bed thingy and they just went on and on and on about their amazing sex life. About how dirty they were Bla Bla Bla. They were too loud.

Mrs N and I were enjoying some time together and hoped someone else might join in but to be honest these people just killed it.

Anyway we got fed up of listening and decided to leave the room and I went to pick up my towel but the filthy buggers had squirted/peed all over my towel. It was all soggy and they were sniggering and laughing. Now that did make me mad. I gave them a filthy look and a few words and walked out, I could have thumped one of them to be honest but thought better of it.

Not been back since as it was rather upsetting.

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

Works fine for me and is generally drama and hassle free!

Think I need to toughen up and start saying things then need to growl like a lion instead of been a pussy cat.

You'll be fine my lovely!

I'm far from tough though - and I find being pleasant but assertive and consistent (ie not changing my mind from week to week what's ok and what isn't) means that a lot of the single guys themselves know me, know my boundaries and effectively 'police' the situation when I play in public! Great way of gradually getting to know the nice ones too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Visited a few clubs in the past, most have the walking dead hoping for some action, OP think you where right to ask the second guy to clear off. While back was in a hot tub once few guys chatting when a couple walked towards the tub one guy said " lads fresh meat" .Billy

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By *ust PeachyWoman
over a year ago

Prestonish

" Visited a few clubs in the past, most have the walking dead hoping for some action, OP think you where right to ask the second guy to clear off. While back was in a hot tub once few guys chatting when a couple walked towards the tub one guy said " lads fresh meat" .Billy "

Walking dead? I call them the 'cock conga' - coz they follow you around doing a little shuffle with their willies hanging out!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You were absolutely right .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanks for all the lovely comments it means a lot. Xx will try and put it behind us and look forward to more fun in the future xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No you were right. He should have asked your permission to play Its against the rules not to ask

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By *izbitMan
over a year ago

St Helens

Walking dead? I call them the 'cock conga' - coz they follow you around doing a little shuffle with their willies hanging out!

Hahaha know exactly what you mean and often snigger humming a black lace tune

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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago

secret town

Is this the normal thing for singles now( she has two guys a third won't matter attitude) yes we was in a open room but still should they at least ask? Put me of singles a little which I enjoy. Me xx

I would of bent his fingers back then kicked him in the balls.

Pulled his head back and karate chopped him in the throat.

Then throw him to the floor, stamp on him with my high heels. Then carried on playing.

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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago

secret town

"You have every right to be upset. Sadly single bloke still think it's acceptable to follow, get too close and to touch without invite.

They don't have open play rooms in pubs, supermarkets, work etc

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By *igSuki81Man
over a year ago

Retirement Village

Stories of clubs are really off putting. I've only been once and had no idea of ettiquete of play so kept away from playing and instead enjoyed it as a social and swapped details with a couple and single for meets out of clubs.

Feel for you OP it seems a regular story for singles in clubs who think its an open invite to do anything with anyone

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is this the normal thing for singles now( she has two guys a third won't matter attitude) yes we was in a open room but still should they at least ask? Put me of singles a little which I enjoy. Me xx

I would of bent his fingers back then kicked him in the balls.

Pulled his head back and karate chopped him in the throat.

Then throw him to the floor, stamp on him with my high heels. Then carried on playing.

"
lol I like your style

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Stories of clubs are really off putting. I've only been once and had no idea of ettiquete of play so kept away from playing and instead enjoyed it as a social and swapped details with a couple and single for meets out of clubs.

Feel for you OP it seems a regular story for singles in clubs who think its an open invite to do anything with anyone

"
dont want to tar all singles with the same brush but some think cause they have paid entry they can do want they want which is a shame. There are some nice singles we've met in the past.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"No you were right. He should have asked your permission to play Its against the rules not to ask

"
thank you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Walking dead? I call them the 'cock conga' - coz they follow you around doing a little shuffle with their willies hanging out!

Hahaha know exactly what you mean and often snigger humming a black lace tune

"
maybe next time I'm at a club I might start a conga.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't have been upset. I would have waved him away, or told him to not touch me. Whoever I was with would have said something anyway.

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By *izbitMan
over a year ago

St Helens

Walking dead? I call them the 'cock conga' - coz they follow you around doing a little shuffle with their willies hanging out!

Hahaha know exactly what you mean and often snigger humming a black lace tune

maybe next time I'm at a club I might start a conga.

Just be conscious about hitting the breaks

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By *ndigo40Woman
over a year ago

secret town

Walking dead? I call them the 'cock conga' - coz they follow you around doing a little shuffle with their willies hanging out!

Do they really walk around with their willy's hanging out? (Never been to a club)

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By *izbitMan
over a year ago

St Helens

Walking dead? I call them the 'cock conga' - coz they follow you around doing a little shuffle with their willies hanging out!

Do they really walk around with their willy's hanging out? (Never been to a club)"

Some do helicopters to for added allurement

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Feel for you OP it seems a regular story for singles in clubs who think its an open invite to do anything with anyone

dont want to tar all singles with the same brush but some think cause they have paid entry they can do want they want which is a shame. There are some nice singles we've met in the past. "

i think the club staff should tell people of the don't touch without asking rule. some people have no clue and think it's an orgy.

the customers should also take responsibility. tell them a firm "no". no need for violence or shouting ffs. bit of a smile and a firm but friendly no works much better.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Walking dead? I call them the 'cock conga' - coz they follow you around doing a little shuffle with their willies hanging out!

Do they really walk around with their willy's hanging out? (Never been to a club)"
some do yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Perhaps all clubs could have clear signage stating that anyone who touches without permission will be thrown out and could face prosecution if they ignore the warning ?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Perhaps all clubs could have clear signage stating that anyone who touches without permission will be thrown out and could face prosecution if they ignore the warning ?"

Could be a good idea but would guess there is always that one that has to spoil it for the good ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry to hear that you've been unfortunate in encountering a totally disrespectful male. You were within your rights to say no.

An open door is an invitation to watch, not to go ahead and touch without permission.

Personally I would of just told him a very abrupt no and told him to leave the room. I certainly wouldn't of let it upset me as men like him aren't worth it.

I hope it hasn't put you off the club scene completely and that you can try again and enjoy it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Walking dead? I call them the 'cock conga' - coz they follow you around doing a little shuffle with their willies hanging out!

Haha

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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago

West Kent (near Tonbridge)

Sorry to hear about your experience OP. That sort of behaviour is something that irritates me to observe or directly experience in clubs, although in my experience it thankfully doesn't happen very often. I absolutely agree with the comments that playing in an open room is an invitation to watch, but consent is definitely needed before any touching.

I have to say I do feel a bit sorry for the polite single guy who asked first, as I do identify with him. I've been in those situations in his 'role' several times before and on the odd occasion had the play interrupted/ended by some selfish jerk who doesn't understand (or care about) even the basics in manners and etiquette, let alone club rules. I hope for polite guy's sake as well as yours that you all get to meet again.

I suppose there can be a fine line between assertiveness and aggression in these kinds of situations, and if you felt like you were going to display the latter then ending the session was probably the right thing for you to do. I hope for your sake you can eventually be comfortable with an assertive 'no/leave' when that sort of things happens and continuing on with your enjoyment.

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By *atie ShayTV/TS
over a year ago

Sorry to hear you had a bad experience, my partner also had an off putting experience on out last visit to a club.

Shock horror - it wasn't a bloke! It was a single female that wouldn't leave her alone wouldn't take no for an answer and touched without permission when we were playing in the couples room.

I've found single males most polite towards my girl only negative experience being from the forementioned lady

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear that you've been unfortunate in encountering a totally disrespectful male. You were within your rights to say no.

An open door is an invitation to watch, not to go ahead and touch without permission.

Personally I would of just told him a very abrupt no and told him to leave the room. I certainly wouldn't of let it upset me as men like him aren't worth it.

I hope it hasn't put you off the club scene completely and that you can try again and enjoy it.

"
him has mentioned going to try again so I'm sure we will in the new year. Xx

Thank you for your kind words.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear about your experience OP. That sort of behaviour is something that irritates me to observe or directly experience in clubs, although in my experience it thankfully doesn't happen very often. I absolutely agree with the comments that playing in an open room is an invitation to watch, but consent is definitely needed before any touching.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry to hear you had a bad experience, my partner also had an off putting experience on out last visit to a club.

Shock horror - it wasn't a bloke! It was a single female that wouldn't leave her alone wouldn't take no for an answer and touched without permission when we were playing in the couples room.

I've found single males most polite towards my girl only negative experience being from the forementioned lady

"
I'm hoping it's a one off and we will get back into it in the new year. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sadly it is something that you will see regularly in clubs. If you are in an open room, people will come in. I have always said no before they've had a chance to touch me. If they were continue to try my OH would stop them and get rid of them.

you need to be assertive, not nasty, deal with it and carry on doing what you want to do. I certainly wouldn't let anything like that stop my enjoyment of a club.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is why we would never go to a club with single males. I can imaging the whole atmosphere is slightly edgy. You'd need eyes in the back of your head!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It isn't just single males, men in couples can be equally annoying with their sense of entitlement.

I must admit that I wouldn't be able to relax completely if I didn't have a protector there, I probably wouldn't play in an open room. Though I do have to say that many people look out for each other and if a guy is particularly pushy, other people, especially guys, will tell him. Noone wants to tolerate that kind of behaviour.

I've never been as a single though so I expect it has very different perspective

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Is this the normal thing for singles now( she has two guys a third won't matter attitude) yes we was in a open room but still should they at least ask? Put me of singles a little which I enjoy. Me xx

He should've stayed on his side of the door and waited to see if you made eye contact with him. Then he should've waited for you to beckon him over. He lacked grace and manners and these matter, no matter what the situation. There are ways of doing things. It will always be your body so you should always be the one to decide who gets to touch it. Don't let it put you off. There is something wonderfully liberating about being watched.

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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago

West Kent (near Tonbridge)

"This is why we would never go to a club with single males. I can imaging the whole atmosphere is slightly edgy. You'd need eyes in the back of your head!"

It does depend on where you go to a large extent. It's usually not nearly as bad as you fear. Most are very respectful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What a wanker, should have reported him to club management.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's single men like that and who you encountered that makes it's so hard for genuine single males"

(Naughty the f)

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