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Couples Profiles, can i ask a question?

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By *abio OP   Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Just something I had noticed more and more in profiles, I did a search and notice it hadn't been asked as a topic....

I see in more and more couples profiles where it says something along the times of "mr can also play alone, but mrs will only play as part of a couple"

I know "each to there own", and I fully understand that but it brings up two question in my mind

1) why would someone basically be advertising as a single in a couples profile?

2) If one is playing on there own, then shouldn't the other person be allowed to (maybe they are but the way it reads sometimes is "possesive" )?, it just doesn't feel 50/50 if you know what I mean......

actually have to say I am beginning to shy away from these profiles as something just doesn't feel right....

maybe it is just me that has notice and i am reading too much into stuff, but i think i am interested to see other people feelings on it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes they may be single guys posing as couples, other times they may be genuine.

It may just be that the wife doesn't enjoy playing on her own but doesn't mind the hubby doing it. Ok may not be 50-50 but provided everyones happy it doesn't have to be.

If you want to be sure you are going to end up actually meeting a couple then make sure you speak to the female half on the phone...

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By *teve_SoleilCouple
over a year ago

Malaysia

It is probably both allowed each other to play alone....but the wife prefers not to...:D

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By *unkytigersCouple (FF)
over a year ago

southend

[Removed by poster at 22/07/09 10:53:07]

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By *igersgobounce69Couple
over a year ago

Southend

Hi Fabio...

If you look at our profile you will see that Mr Tigs can play alone...and he has my full support. I used to play alone with women only but as things have progressed I have been know to play alone with a guy but I go and find the guy I dont advertise it....

Why do we do this....its our choice and the way we swing....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

maybe it is just me that has notice and i am reading too much into stuff, but i think i am interested to see other people feelings on it"

Maybe it is, and maybe you are. Maybe you're reading between the lines ? That's all well and good - until you see things that aren't there.

You say you "fully understand each to there own" but the post sounds though that you may understand, but you're failing to fully "accept" and "tolerate" it.

What is it, exactly, that makes you say "Shouldn't the other person be allowed to (maybe they are but the way it reads sometimes is possessive" ???

dammie

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess


"

maybe it is just me that has notice and i am reading too much into stuff, but i think i am interested to see other people feelings on it

Maybe it is, and maybe you are. Maybe you're reading between the lines ? That's all well and good - until you see things that aren't there.

You say you "fully understand each to there own" but the post sounds though that you may understand, but you're failing to fully "accept" and "tolerate" it.

What is it, exactly, that makes you say "Shouldn't the other person be allowed to (maybe they are but the way it reads sometimes is possessive" ???

dammie

"

The problem stems from couples profiles which suggest that the relationship is one of "I can do what I like and she'll do what she's told".

We've all seen the profiles and we've all met the couples - especially outdoors.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah.

Thanks Jim. I've not seen profiles where I've thought that - but I certainly have seen it in real life, along with the blatantly obvious "She's only doing this because he wants her to"

dammie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

2) If one is playing on there own, then shouldn't the other person be allowed to (maybe they are but the way it reads sometimes is "possesive" )?, it just doesn't feel 50/50 if you know what I mean......"

With ourselves its not a case of the female been allowed, its a case of the female doesnt want to. And anyway, what sort of dictatorship do you think we live in that the men have to "allow" the wife to play alone. Im sure that if Jo wanted to play alone then she should and there would be sod all I could do about it!!

Steve

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sadly there are some singles who pose as couples..........some couples quite rightly may change what they are looking for...........and only one or the other will play on their own.......there is also those who as has been mentioned, are "encouraged" to go along with the lifestyle (dictatorship)...sad but true......and of course their is loads and loads of genuine couples where only one partner plays ......and with the other halfs full backing......such as Steves scenario...........so in short whilst there are many couple profiles that are suspicious to say the least....they only serve to tarnish the genuine peeps that are on here for a good time

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess


"

With ourselves its not a case of the female been allowed, its a case of the female doesnt want to. And anyway, what sort of dictatorship do you think we live in that the men have to "allow" the wife to play alone. Im sure that if Jo wanted to play alone then she should and there would be sod all I could do about it!!

Steve"

It's not your scenario that causes the problem. It's when a domineering (bullying) husband/ partner insists they play as a couple or he plays alone - regardless of her wishes that things can go wrong. There are plenty of abusing relationships out there as a look at the newspapers or a trip to a hospital will attest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have always struggled to understand these claims that some females are being forced, dictated to by the male partner into sex with those that he manages to snare?

My biggest problem with this suggested situation is that there must come a point when the accompanying couple notice that things are not as they should be, okay if you were meeting for a coffee and the female seemed distracted then fair enough, but this is sex we are talking here.

Are others suggesting that people either haven't noticed her reluctance or maybe that as long as they get their jollies who cares?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we play as a couple and it is fun. But I the female have played on my own because I'm the more sexually experience of the two. But he don't want to play on own and I would let him if he wanted too.

I'm not being forced into anything by anyone. I play with who I want and who I like. If a guy can't deal with a strong and independent woman he is no use.

I'm choosy with my male friends and the way I play. We have rules that hubby has set up for my protection.

We both have profiles on here and are both verified as a couple. We have had sex on cam which I started. So no forcing here on any part.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have always struggled to understand these claims that some females are being forced, dictated to by the male partner into sex with those that he manages to snare?

My biggest problem with this suggested situation is that there must come a point when the accompanying couple notice that things are not as they should be, okay if you were meeting for a coffee and the female seemed distracted then fair enough, but this is sex we are talking here.

Are others suggesting that people either haven't noticed her reluctance or maybe that as long as they get their jollies who cares?"

"Forced" ?? I doubt it.

Dictated to ? Possibly.

But I think it's more a case of mardy arsed coercion.

Equally as unattractive, but it does go on. Particularly in the bifem/bi-curious arenas.

And of course, you're right - it's normally reluctance that shows itself first. I'd struggle to choose which is the most off putting/turn off - Reluctance or Arrogance.

Sadly I/we have come across both.

Or . . . . . . . . . .

Did I miss some irony in there somewhere ??

dammie

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"we play as a couple and it is fun. But I the female have played on my own because I'm the more sexually experience of the two. But he don't want to play on own and I would let him if he wanted too.

I'm not being forced into anything by anyone. I play with who I want and who I like. If a guy can't deal with a strong and independent woman he is no use.

I'm choosy with my male friends and the way I play. We have rules that hubby has set up for my protection.

We both have profiles on here and are both verified as a couple. We have had sex on cam which I started. So no forcing here on any part."

Well, Don't sit on the fence Hippie, tell it like you see it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We go a step further than th OP as we are not confused with this at all, we completely ignore anyone with this in their profile.

Whilst we have no problem with what others deem to be acceptable, for us and I do stress FOR US, swinging is quite easily defined.

We only play with genuine couples who are in genuine relationships with each other. Cheats/fuck buddies/playing with partners consent or what ever you want to call them are not for us.

We also play with single guys in clubs. We accept that no wedding ring and the assurance that they are single counts for fuck all but that is as blurred as we allow our boundaries to go.

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By *imfromGlasgowMan
over a year ago

er...guess


"I have always struggled to understand these claims .........

Are others suggesting that people either haven't noticed her reluctance or maybe that as long as they get their jollies who cares?"

I'm suggesting that a lot of people don't care so long as they get their Nat. They probably salve their conscience (assuming they have one) with the belief that the presence of the male partner of a reluctant female means there can't be any duress involved.

Surely, their logic runs, if she didn't want to do it her husband would take care of her and stop things progressing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

have had cpls mail us then str8 away the guy says' see u meet singles we do play alone too' ,lol so we say ok what about sendin mrs over then we have u over at a later date soon sends em running ,also we say ok will need speak to mrs on phone or cam to check she ok that sorts em too , dont have probs with what others want and enjoy but hate lies .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

probably the female doesnt want to. we dont advertise on our profile that we play alone but we do. maybe i will add that to ours now!! lisa xx

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