FabSwingers.com forum: Question for men

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Giving her pleasure anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try try and try again! I would keep trying... that's part of the fun and joy for me xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I imagine most will see it as a challenge (I get a similar thing when I tell women I've never cum through oral).

I think maybe talk it it out. Does she orgasm on her own? Are there certain things that get her closer to it?

Then I guess it's time to explore!

This all assuming she wants to in the first place of course

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Giving her pleasure anyway "

and if she still can't cum?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I imagine most will see it as a challenge (I get a similar thing when I tell women I've never cum through oral).

I think maybe talk it it out. Does she orgasm on her own? Are there certain things that get her closer to it?

Then I guess it's time to explore!

This all assuming she wants to in the first place of course

believe it or not but most don't take it as a challenge. just do their thing and that's it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Giving her pleasure anyway

and if she still can't cum? "

Get her to relax , dont push it and spend lots of time on forplay

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Try different positions she cum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some women find sex enjoyable even without cumming...or so I've heard.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

As long as I cum it doesn't matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

make it a mission to make her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Explore her mind instead of her body .... The most powerful sensuality emanates from the brain. If you can engage her mind, her body can follow...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?

As long as I cum it doesn't matter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Accept the challenge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Explore her mind instead of her body .... The most powerful sensuality emanates from the brain. If you can engage her mind, her body can follow...

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By *iaFlashCouple
over a year ago

walsall

We did have a meet with a couple and the fem found it difficult to cum on meets but whilst playing with Flash she was able to cum twice which she herself was amazed at, first time was when her boobs and clit was played with and the second was through oral.

What we do of they cant cum is as we play we just ask what they like and do what they say to the best we can or we just have lots of kissing and teasing till we can see they want something and then give it to them nice and slow then build up speed depending on how their bodies react x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would say it's a terrible shame...take my hand and let's try visit the land of

legbucklingheadspinningjawclenchechingholyfuckican'tbreathe...

The journey there is always fun...

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By *igjohn78Man
over a year ago

lincoln

The very best I can do

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By *ithardscotMan
over a year ago

Kelty

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

Go for oral first!

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

Try not to make an issue of it and experiment , as long as it's all enjoyed the journey should be good

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

ask her what she likes most. probably get her to relax by giving massage all over then let my tongue loose on her see how moist she gets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Me finger blast her.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

I am that woman! I don't want to be seen as a challenge though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So is Cumming the bee all and end all when it comes to sex?

I'm not going to pretend and say that I will make her cum but what I will do is try to make her feel special enough that she enjoys the evening

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

"Me finger blast her. "

You man. You do it. Well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd ask her what works for her.

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Spend time relaxing together and just having fun, maybe try a massage leading on to more intimate touching and then play it by ear from there.

The trick is to relax together and not let it be an issue, then maybe it won't be

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?

Go for oral first!"

That's guaranteed not to work for a lot of us.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Spend time relaxing together and just having fun, maybe try a massage leading on to more intimate touching and then play it by ear from there.

The trick is to relax together and not let it be an issue, then maybe it won't be

Yes please to all that

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By *uperock99Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"
I'd say would you want the challenge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd talk with her, find out what works best, discuss ways of helping her relax, and make sure she knows there's no pressure on either of us to cum. I know from experience that when you start thinking you should cum soon, it just makes it more difficult to get there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask her which 2 or 3 sexual things she enjoys most, and try and combine them

For example with us it's fingering, spanking and hair pulling. Which can be done 2 at a time (or all at once if you've got a helper!)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Many - and I'm not saying all - will not give a fuck as long as they cum themselves. They give the talk but don't walk the walk. I've had exceptions but rarely with one night stands.

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By *isa 59Woman
over a year ago

Newcastle

"So is Cumming the bee all and end all when it comes to sex?

I'm not going to pretend and say that I will make her cum but what I will do is try to make her feel special enough that she enjoys the evening

10/10

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By *uited staffs guyMan
over a year ago

staffordshire

Absolutely do not see it as a 'challenge' or a battle!

Listen to her - if she says she gets loads of pleasure from certain things then do them and enjoy it! Cumming isnt everything for all people

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

Anal?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make her feel relaxed, pleasure her, kiss her, gently stroke her body all over, kiss her neck and shoulder, I could go on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

talk about it experiment. Does she still enjoy sex even if she dosnt always cum. I find sometimes it is difficult for me to cum when having sex. Dosnt mean I don't enjoy it as much.

Its not a competition or challenge. Good sex is about both enjoying it as it takes place not always the end result

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By *4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

N 42.709787, W -84.556222

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

I would talk about it with her. I certainly wouldn't be above asking her what works best to get the job done. I don't care how good guys think they are, in a situation like that guidance is always appreciated.

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By *4pleasureCouple
over a year ago

N 42.709787, W -84.556222

[Removed by poster at 12/12/16 23:56:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I imagine most will see it as a challenge (I get a similar thing when I tell women I've never cum through oral).

I think maybe talk it it out. Does she orgasm on her own? Are there certain things that get her closer to it?

Then I guess it's time to explore!

This all assuming she wants to in the first place of course

believe it or not but most don't take it as a challenge. just do their thing and that's it

That's not nice

Mutual pleasure

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Many - and I'm not saying all - will not give a fuck as long as they cum themselves. They give the talk but don't walk the walk. I've had exceptions but rarely with one night stands."

Disappointing that people feel that way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

I guess thats one of the problems with casual encounters. There's a certain pressure to live up to the ideal; multiple orgasms, great sex, thrashing ecstacy. If you find you can't cum then the pressure itself makes it worse. That's not to say that sex isn't enjoyable but people feel they need to demonstrate through orgasm that they've been satisfied.

I guess the solution is for the partner not to make a big deal about but to try and find things that each party enjoys (even without orgasm) and then just rely on it happening naturally in a relaxed environment. The worst thing is to try to make it all about achieving orgasm as if that's some test of success because then the person feels under pressure, which makes it worse.

Not sure you'll get that from a casual encounter though...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

If she's open minded and open to relaxing i'd introduce her to tantra. Climaxing is not the goal. If it happens it happens, if it doesn't the rest is incredible anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Massage and using the massage to find a woman's sensative areas and maybe erogenous areas if your lucky enough whilst trying to stimulate her mentally as well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

I cum, roll over, go to sleep.

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By *riendly FiresCouple
over a year ago

Beverley

Would hope she might have her Testosterone levels checked out. The slightest of tweaks could see waterfalls.

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By *angerdaveMan
over a year ago

NOTTINGHAM

"Would hope she might have her Testosterone levels checked out. The slightest of tweaks could see waterfalls. "
mmmm I like waterfalls makes you very wet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Explore her mind instead of her body .... The most powerful sensuality emanates from the brain. If you can engage her mind, her body can follow... "

Have to agree with the above but think its a combination if getting the mind in the right place and following what her body responds to too, you can fly be back at square one if you push a wrong button... lol

What would a woman do if a guy said he doubts he would be able to cum too?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do what ever to pleasure her. I believe both parties should get the enjoyment

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Giving her pleasure anyway

and if she still can't cum? "

I wouldn't certainly put pressure on her, and still enjoy myself and enjoy giving her pleasure.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't push it if I were I bed with her. I'd ask if she wanted me to keep trying and if she said no then I wouldn't.

I absolutely hate it when people are determined to make me come. If it's not happening for someone then it's not happening - male or female.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

That's a good question, can I phone a friend...

Cal

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By *haunMan
over a year ago

Halton

"I wouldn't push it if I were I bed with her. I'd ask if she wanted me to keep trying and if she said no then I wouldn't.

I absolutely hate it when people are determined to make me come. If it's not happening for someone then it's not happening - male or female."

Very good response.

Sometimes these things happen.

It's not a case of making a big deal about it.

Enjoy her company, engage in gentle soft play and have big hugs.

Hold her naked body close and tight, then kiss her making her feel wanted and special.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

I would try to find out what makes her cum Occasionally.

Something must trigger it off. Maybe something worries her that is holding her back. I would chat to find out more about her.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This post is just like me, and I'll tell you what most guys do. They say they will try - or be dead cocky and brag about themselves. But when it comes to it, I don't think that do make extra effort to try.. I mean It's not the be all and end all to me.. but just sometimes would be nice not to be responsible for my own orgasms

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By *obbytupperMan
over a year ago

Menston near Ilkley

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

Take plenty of time to help her relax and don't expect instant results, this lady obviously has inhibitions, probably deep seated and needs empathy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This post is just like me, and I'll tell you what most guys do. They say they will try - or be dead cocky and brag about themselves. But when it comes to it, I don't think that do make extra effort to try.. I mean It's not the be all and end all to me.. but just sometimes would be nice not to be responsible for my own orgasms "

I agree, they're mostly full of shite!

Once they ejaculate the show is over.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would kiss her on the forehead, pat her on the head and say "That's ok, I'm not here for your pleasure". Then, lay down with my legs open and point to my pussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask what makes her most relaxed and keep good communication with her to what turns her on and go from there x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

Fuck her

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By *ral addict 13Man
over a year ago

lincolnshire

Communication is the key, find out what turns her on then investigate with fingers, lips and tongue on all parts of her body whilst watching and listening to her.

Get the body oil for a nice massage and make her very relaxed and hopefully a an orgasm to end

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By *lwaysup4it69Couple
over a year ago

Kirkby in Ashfield

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

I would find out what she likes a guy doing to her first. Then spent a while just kissed and gently stroking her body, is she isn't relaxed then very unlikely she will cum. In between kisses talking while exploring and not rush any of it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get her vibrator out! - Hubby

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By *he girl with dreadlocksWoman
over a year ago

need to know basis in Wolverhampton

"Some women find sex enjoyable even without cumming...or so I've heard."

I don't cum in the same way as if I play with myself but I can really enjoy in fact love sex with the right guy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her to read my verifications and await her happiness

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

Reassure her how easy easy it is and demonstrate how I can manage it in 12 seconds flat

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It depends. Is this A) a new relationship or B) a meet?

A) as a couple you explore each other, relax and not make a big deal of it. B) maybe the topic has been brought up kind of like a game.

Me, I'd do my best to pleasure the lady in question to the best of my ability

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/12/16 09:57:49]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd ask her what feels good for her and what she enjoys. Hopefully through a bit of exploration of what she finds pleasurable could help her to orgasm, but failing that, I wouldn't want her to feel under pressure that her not reaching climax would spoil anything between us.

This is assuming that she still enjoys sex though. Because if she isn't taking any pleasure from it, I wouldn't be either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

Go bang someone who has their shit together instead.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

Just have a chilled sensual evening, don't ponder on the why's & wherefores, just do what we do & see what happens. The more you ponder on it treating every act to an autopsy of "Well, Were you close?" etc. The less likely it is to happen.

Thing is us asking beforehand "OK, What do you like best?" might not work for us, this is mutual fun after all, we'd rather ask "What don't you want to do?".

We can then find out the other for ourselves & see what happens.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't even mention the word cum, don't think it and don't even discuss the topic..... while in the moment obviously. My ex partner had a surgery when she was younger which had an impact on her sex life. Achieving climax was difficult for her at first, then we realised it was a combination of stress, self doubt and always thinking about cumming. A day out with a lovely evening meal and drinks eventually gave her the release she needed. You have to turn on the mind long before the body. We achieved it sexually by start stop, start stop through out the night. Slow and sensual

I feel if you try a wham bam kind of thing it may cause problems

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Trade in for one that works....

Seriously it reminds me of a holiday in Spain, where an English fellow, ordered Egg and chips.

The water replied. "Que?

So he said little louder. "Egg and chips".

Waiter replied again. "Que?

This interaction went on for about a minute, the Englishman getting louder and louder, to a point where he screamed at the Waiter, "egg and chips you fucking idiot!!"

Guess what the waiter said.

Made me realise if somethings not working, don't keep doing the same thing only more louder/harder, try something else...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Giving her pleasure anyway "

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

Pleasure her I'm the best way you can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

Be understanding and take your time with her. Look for signals as to what she enjoys and what she doesn't. Everyone has their own turn on's. It certainly wouldn't makee think any less of them however if she's not into it, I'd stop.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some women find it hard to climax, normally because they find it hard to relax and let go control.

I've know women who hardly ever climax even when they play.

then others that just need time and patience.

given the right combination of stimulous a relaxing and secure enviroment and a considerate and giving partner most ladies should be able to cum.

The climax shouldnt be the focal point of play, it should be an ideal goal but not the measure of a successful encounter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"some women find it hard to climax, normally because they find it hard to relax and let go control.

I've know women who hardly ever climax even when they play.

then others that just need time and patience.

given the right combination of stimulous a relaxing and secure enviroment and a considerate and giving partner most ladies should be able to cum.

The climax shouldnt be the focal point of play, it should be an ideal goal but not the measure of a successful encounter"

Couldn't agree more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just enjoy each other

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So the woman you want to have sex says she finds it hard to cum. Most of the time she can't cum at all. what do you guys do?"

Usually a playing with her arse with your finger helps bring it on

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"some women find it hard to climax, normally because they find it hard to relax and let go control.

I've know women who hardly ever climax even when they play.

then others that just need time and patience.

given the right combination of stimulous a relaxing and secure enviroment and a considerate and giving partner most ladies should be able to cum.

The climax shouldnt be the focal point of play, it should be an ideal goal but not the measure of a successful encounter"

It shouldn't even be the ideal goal. Pleasure should be the ideal goal, orgasm are just one part of that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What? You mean women cum? Really, well now ive heard it all, next you will be telling me they work! Hahahah

Can she make herself cum is the first question!

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