FabSwingers.com forum: Replying to an inbox

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Don't want to have a rant. But I'd it that hard to respond to a message? I get that there's some out there that are pure naughty and get messages all day. But majority don't. So when reading a message y not reply. Even if it's a no thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to respond to everyone, as a couple we've never been inundated with mail, but as we've been here longer and the mail gets stranger or they've put no effort in then I no longer bother. For the first time today I did an instant block due to the content. But the FAQ state no reply is no thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It can be quite difficult, depending on what they write. If they ask a question and you don't want to answer and are not interested, what would you say?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get some really odd messages, some don't even warrant a reply and I'm sure they don't expect one ...so I don't bother

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

To be honest and having seen this from a solo male profile, a couples profile and my partner's solo female profile perspective, I can totally understand why some people choose not to respond to some messages and just delete them instead. Why bother responnding to messages that say just "Hey" (which I got today from someone with a three word profile), or messages that plainly haven't read your profile, or ones that are abusive etc etc.

The ONLY ones worthy of response (even if it's a thanks but no thanks) are the ones I choose to respond to and those will be ones that have made some level of effort.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I was to reply to every message I got I would be online 24/7 most days. The sheer volume of messages most females and couples get its not possible to reply to them all. I hold my hands up and admit I delete a lot of mine because the either are not what I'm looking for, too far away, not read my profile or the messages are too crude or nasty. So I do state on my profile if I don't reply and delete take that as your not what I'm looking for

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By *100Man
over a year ago

Essex

I don't get many in my inbox so it's always a pleasure to reply it's only being polite.

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By *100Man
over a year ago

Essex

I don't get many in my inbox so it's always a pleasure to reply it's only being polite.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

OP my time is precious and I don't have enough of it to spare to send a "no thanks" to everyone who messages me. I get upwards of 100 messages daily, of these I might actually reply to 2 or 3.

I used to reply to everyone.

At least half of the people who I sent a "no thanks" reply to would then send more messages wanting to know why i'm not interested and trying to persuade me otherwise. This leaves me no time to talk to the ones I am interested in.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

"I don't get many in my inbox so it's always a pleasure to reply it's only being polite."

Easy for you to say. If it was 200 messages, none of which said anything useful, and all from virtually blank profiles (with the silhouette), how long would the politeness remain?

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

Because it takes time, and I decide how I spend my time, and when, not somebody who made the choice to message me. Anyone messaging me chooses to do so, that doesn't mean they can dictate what I do. That's my choice. Guys not interested in me won't message me, so why do I not have the same right to decide when I want to message?

Because it then means all those guys I'm not intetested in can get through my message filters if I set them in the future.

Because some guys take a no thanks very badly.

Because it's my life and my time and I'd rather spend it chatting to people I do want to meet than with those I don't.

Just for starters.

The filters one is important. I don't want to give people I'm not interested in access through all my filters and I don't want to have to block every person I decline in order to avoid that.

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By *ee VianteWoman
over a year ago

Somewhere in North Norfolk

"I don't get many in my inbox so it's always a pleasure to reply it's only being polite.

Easy for you to say. If it was 200 messages, none of which said anything useful, and all from virtually blank profiles (with the silhouette), how long would the politeness remain?

If it takes a minute to check the profile, type a response and make a note of what was said, 50 or 100 or 200 messages amounts to a big chunk of time I could be using for something enjoyable.

When many of those 50, 100, 200, whatever messagers hasn't read my profile and has virtually no profile of their own, why should I be expected to waste any more of my time on them?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the message is polite we respond regardless of who sent it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I deleted a message that said 'do you want to fuck' without replying and ended up being named in a derogatory status and getting torrents of abuse from the guy as an attention seeking ugly old woman who should reply to every single message I get....id got several hundred messages that week, not enough hours in the day to reply to them all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I used to reply but gave up. As politely sayibg you're not interested. Seems to open the floodgates for abuse. Or why what's wrong with me messages.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Don't want to have a rant. But I'd it that hard to respond to a message? I get that there's some out there that are pure naughty and get messages all day. But majority don't. So when reading a message y not reply. Even if it's a no thanks. "

So every time you get some junk mail through the letter box at home, you reply them them, or just bin them, only keeping and using the ones that interest you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To be honest and having seen this from a solo male profile, a couples profile and my partner's solo female profile perspective, I can totally understand why some people choose not to respond to some messages and just delete them instead. Why bother responnding to messages that say just "Hey" (which I got today from someone with a three word profile), or messages that plainly haven't read your profile, or ones that are abusive etc etc.

The ONLY ones worthy of response (even if it's a thanks but no thanks) are the ones I choose to respond to and those will be ones that have made some level of effort."

This!

Ruby x

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