FabSwingers.com forum: When is the best time if the scene is already on going to declare your boundaries?

By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

If it so happens that you end up playing near or around a club or party scene that is already on going, and things are looking like they might be getting to a place where you might be mingling sexually somewhat... when is the appropriate time to explain your boundaries?

For example if you're attending a club as a couple but the female is only looking to play with other females and her own gentlemen, do they need to make other couples aware of this in case the other girls touch her man, but she doesn't want other men to touch her?

Would it be considered unfair for her gentleman to be touching other girls, but she doesn't want to be touched by any other male other than her playmate?

If so without actually affecting the scene when is the best time to let others know?

It is a little bit awkward if her guy and other girls are already touching each other, but she is not receptive to the other guys in the scene, if you understand me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask who you want to play, explain how you want to play and go they say yes go to a private room

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

I'm talking about a scene already on going there in a central play area of a club.

If we have had a chat at the bar then these things probably would have already been discussed but I'm talking about when the play is already on going.

In the middle of a scene it's not always the right time to start a discussion and I wouldn't like anybody to feel an unfair balance if I wasn't comfortable with other gents touching me in that particular scene, but they haven't minded my gentleman touching their girls.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If it so happens that you end up playing near or around a club or party scene that is already on going, and things are looking like they might be getting to a place where you might be mingling sexually somewhat... when is the appropriate time to explain your boundaries?

Would it be considered unfair for her gentleman to be touching other girls, but she doesn't want to be touched by any other male other than her playmate?

If so without actually affecting the scene when is the best time to let others know?

It is a little bit awkward if her guy and other girls are already touching each other, but she is not receptive to the other guys in the scene, if you understand me.

Definitely don't just get into the play that's already happening in an open room .

Wait , and talk to prospective people and explain what your boundaries are . From there get a private room .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have thought that best bet is to only ask to join group play that is already playing by your rules. Otherwise initiate your own play on your own terms.

I think to join an ongoing scene and then want different rules may frustrate the others.

I know if we were playing openly with another couple and we're asked to joined by a third couple, he then started touching me but when hubby went to touch her was refused then we'd be a little miffed.

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

I wouldnt join in something on going if i didnt know the rules

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

[Removed by poster at 07/11/16 12:52:01]

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

That is what I thought and thank you for your perspective. What about if we were playing and they wanted to sit near or share the area?

I guess then the best way is to stop what we are doing, and to explain?

Obviously if there has been a chance to chat before play this would have been ironed out, but sometimes things get mingled in play areas and I wouldn't like to upset anybody. I do play with both ladies and men but I have to feel completely comfortable in the situation.

Maybe the answer for me, is to stick to more private rooms or play areas where there are separate beds, and therefore it's easier to discuss things like this, if we are on a bed and a couple asks to join us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That is what I thought and thank you for your perspective. What about if we were playing and they wanted to sit near or share the area?

I guess then the best way is to stop what we are doing, and to explain?

When we play on the big beds we expect others to share the bed and play alongside or watch. As long as not invading our space then we are playing openly for the kick we get out of playing publicly.

We wouldn't have any problem with people asking a quick question about watching or joining if we were playing alone.

If a couple asked "can we play with the lady" or words to that effect then we would refuse but wouldn't be at all offended by the question. If the question was "can the ladies play" then we may agree for bi fem with own partners, but we wouldn't be particularly interested in my hubby being singled out as the only one who has rules yet your partner playing with both ladies.

If we were playing with another couple in a conventional soft swap then we wouldn't want to go to bi fem own partners nor would we want extra rules with some if a third couple wanted to join, we prefer the play to be mutual and would expect if asking to join a soft swap then that would be what you were looking for.

There are people out there who really enjoy sharing their lady so our way isn't everyone. We were in your position initially. While we were we were careful about who we played with and were lucky enough to find lovely people to guide us on the journey. During that time we would have never just joined a scene but talked it out first.

Waffled sorry. Not sure I made sense. What was the question again

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yep it's a hard one to judge, most people once in a play area are so unable to communicate with others it's pretty pathetic. Couples where the play is not mutual are the worst, the play begins, the guy grabs me and i happily endulge in fun, whilst the lady comes up with a load of rules for hubby and as for me going down on a lady and then she announces oh I don't reciprocate! FFS Please just f@&k off, getting sick of it now, people barely talk to you whilst socialising then all of a sudden want to join in with a load of rules.

So now it's a new rule for us, if we don't chat socially first, find out the rules etc them don't bother trying to join in our fun.

This along with other stuff is why we prefer private meets now.

Hi Glitterbabe, was nice to see you Saturday night xx

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Thank you always lovely to see you too. Xx

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

It would be tricky to join in with play that is already happening if you have fairly 'restrictive' boundaries, as it's difficult for the other people to determine what they are.

In your case, if you are playing just as a couple and other people come into the room, it's easier, as you can easily say 'just girl-girl' without much interruption or complexity and they can decide to join or not.

It would be more difficult expecting someone to understand quickly that you want your guy to be able to play with the female half of the other party, but the male half the other party not interact with you. I think that definitely needs to be discussed beforehand.

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By *litterbabe OP Woman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

Thank you and yes. It is only in certain situations of course. And also I wouldn't assume that every girl is open for girl on girl play anyway.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Joining in with on-going fun can be very horny and we've had some amazing fun doing that.

But it can be tricky to get right all round in terms of attraction, boundaries etc etc.

Girl-girl is probably easier, 'most' seem to enjoy this as part of playing, either a little or a lot

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