FabSwingers.com forum: Time spent on sending messages

By *aycambs OP Man
over a year ago

Brierley Hill/Merry Hill

You carefully check out someones profile and think they suit what you and they are looking for. You send them a message because a wink is just lazy, and its bespoke to them, mentions something that is relevant to their own profile; only to get an instant delete.

Q: Is it really worth all the effort?

I have been here for a while, and know how it all works, have made some friends along the way, and some really good ones, but we all have to start somewhere dont we? surely its a 2 way street!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You carefully check out someones profile and think they suit what you and they are looking for. You send them a message because a wink is just lazy, and its bespoke to them, mentions something that is relevant to their own profile; only to get an instant delete.

Q: Is it really worth all the effort?

I have been here for a while, and know how it all works, have made some friends along the way, and some really good ones, but we all have to start somewhere dont we? surely its a 2 way street!"

Only you can decide whether it is worth the effort.

A 2 way street begins with mutual attraction and, if that is not there, you can't expect interaction to follow.

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By *aycambs OP Man
over a year ago

Brierley Hill/Merry Hill

so what you are saying is, is that if there is no attraction full stop, its okay to dismiss somebody's effort in trying to communicate politely with this person or couple?

I understand if its [wana shag tonite babe], then yes straight in the bin!

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By *rKinkedKuntMan
over a year ago

Sheffield

"so what you are saying is, is that if there is no attraction full stop, its okay to dismiss somebody's effort in trying to communicate politely with this person or couple?

I understand if its [wana shag tonite babe], then yes straight in the bin!"

Yes it's completely fine to do that, as it says in the FAQ's. It's why I use winks as it's a great way to gauge if there's any attraction and i have stopped with the pointless long messages. Stopping this has not changed my frequency of meets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q: Is it really worth all the effort?

I have been here for a while, and know how it all works, have made some friends along the way, and some really good ones, but we all have to start somewhere dont we? surely its a 2 way street!"

Nope, I don't think it's worth the effort. 99% of the time they are deleted, unread or not replied to so to save time I tend to use a generic but not obvious copy and paste message, it works quite well for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q: Is it really worth all the effort?

I have been here for a while, and know how it all works, have made some friends along the way, and some really good ones, but we all have to start somewhere dont we? surely its a 2 way street!

That still leaves 1%

There are at least 100 women on this site. So that's not the worst odds in the world

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By *exysuzi and Mr.SCouple
over a year ago

CONISTON .Stoke Suburbia. Staffs. BARMOUTH. The Lakes (Monthly)

The trouble is ......

We can get really well thought out messages from single guys. Saying they have read our profile, we appear to share the same interests, your pics are fantastic etc, etc. Would you like to chat and possibly meet at some point.

But...... Our profile has obviously not been read thoroughly, as we have stated we meet in clubs, and will meet single guys if they have a partner, FB or fwb.

Sometimes we reply pointing this out. Sometimes we just ignore. Sadly that's the way it is.

Annoying for both parties though. Just don't have to let it get to you though xxxxx Suzi

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so what you are saying is, is that if there is no attraction full stop, its okay to dismiss somebody's effort in trying to communicate politely with this person or couple?

I understand if its [wana shag tonite babe], then yes straight in the bin!"

Of course it is. Why would we want to carry on communicating with someone if we are not attracted to them? This isn't Facebook.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Q: Is it really worth all the effort?

I have been here for a while, and know how it all works, have made some friends along the way, and some really good ones, but we all have to start somewhere dont we? surely its a 2 way street!

That still leaves 1%

There are at least 100 women on this site. So that's not the worst odds in the world"

It is if your spending 10 mins on a bespoke message, do the maths,

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By *emini ManMan
over a year ago

There and to the left a bit

Unfortunately the odds are somewhat stacked against single men round here with ladies being literally bombarded with messages of all varieties, the polite and considered ones as well as the fancy a fuck ones, so they're in a position where they can pick and choose which to respond to regardless of the type of initial message, and also have the right to decide whether a polite "thanks but no thanks" is worth their time and effort. Just in the same way as we have to decide if a polite tailored message is worth ours.

I've yet to take any first steps at contacting anyone in this way but know that when I do, the time and effort of a polite and tailored message will be worth it every time regardless of whether it's ultimately destined for the delete pile.

It's the way of Fab really and nothing you can say or do will change that, so you have to either like it or lump it. Harsh reality I know, but that's the way it is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"so what you are saying is, is that if there is no attraction full stop, its okay to dismiss somebody's effort in trying to communicate politely with this person or couple?

I understand if its [wana shag tonite babe], then yes straight in the bin!"

It's absolutely ok not to reply,they didn't ask that person to message them.

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By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

OP if you have been here a while and know how it all works then you will be aware that most women check out your profile before they read the message you sent.

For me personally if the profile doesn't have public photos and doesn't tell me much about the person i delete the message without reading it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

you have a couple youve met several times - thats more than a lot

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

Q: Is it really worth all the effort?

I have been here for a while, and know how it all works, have made some friends along the way, and some really good ones, but we all have to start somewhere dont we? surely its a 2 way street!"

So if they don't fancy you they should have a conversation with you? Should they also meet you? Sleep with you?

I would personally be worried if you think the answer to any of those questions is yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I read profiles very carefully, look at the pics sometimes to carefully haha then decide whether to make contact with someone.

Some you win, a lot you lose but as this site is inundated with single men and I'm married playing alone I still get my fair share.

So stop ya bitching and crack on mate .

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