Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
 | Back to forum list |
| Back to Swingers Chat |
| Jump to newest |  |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread " phew! " I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!?" That depends on you. Many have a 'don't ask - don't tell' policy, so if you haven't asked, it can't have been that important initially, and technically he never misled to you. Treat it as a learning experience and move on. Mr ddc | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread phew! I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? That depends on you. Many have a 'don't ask - don't tell' policy, so if you haven't asked, it can't have been that important initially, and technically he never misled to you. Treat it as a learning experience and move on. Mr ddc" So you don't think he had a right to tell me? I'll definitely be using this as a learning experience... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem?" Clearly not a serious post  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem?" I wouldn't want to be cheated on. Thus I wouldn't aid someone in cheating on someone else. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread phew! I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? That depends on you. Many have a 'don't ask - don't tell' policy, so if you haven't asked, it can't have been that important initially, and technically he never misled to you. Treat it as a learning experience and move on. Mr ddc So you don't think he had a right to tell me? I'll definitely be using this as a learning experience..." He did have a right to tell you, but that doesn't mean he was obliged to tell you. Nobody is obliged to disclose anything. Xx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem? I wouldn't want to be cheated on. Thus I wouldn't aid someone in cheating on someone else. " Yep, this!  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Mr ddc So you don't think he had a right to tell me? I'll definitely be using this as a learning experience..." He had a right, but not an obligation. You had a right to ask and be given an honest answer, but you chose not to exercise that right. Accepting the difference is what makes us adults, isn't it? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Some might use the I'm attached thing after they have got what they wanted. Less drama then " Some might, but in this case, I asked him... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem? I wouldn't want to be cheated on. Thus I wouldn't aid someone in cheating on someone else. " Fair play to you. That's understandable. Xxx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem?" maybe he'd rather have sex with his partner but she doesn't want sex and nothing's gonna get solved while you're giving it to him? maybe your making it easy for a sociopath to get his sadistic kicks coz he likes cheating and how that makes him feel? maybe all kinds of things. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Some might use the I'm attached thing after they have got what they wanted. Less drama then Some might, but in this case, I asked him..." Was hoping to fill he's boots then till you asked  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Mr ddc So you don't think he had a right to tell me? I'll definitely be using this as a learning experience... He had a right, but not an obligation. You had a right to ask and be given an honest answer, but you chose not to exercise that right. Accepting the difference is what makes us adults, isn't it? " In my naivety, I suppose I just didn't think I needed to ask. There's a difference between choosing not to do something and not realising I needed to. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Some might use the I'm attached thing after they have got what they wanted. Less drama then Some might, but in this case, I asked him..." a lot of women don't really care either way, and in the same vein a lot of men think most women don't really care. best thing, i've found, is to presume people are cheating unless they say otherwise. and even then you know people lie. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem?" You really don't know?? It's a personal choice for people....but the potential agro can be Immense. Probably lists of (more desperate?) guys would not think twice....but given the ratios on here, women can be more choosy and decide not to.....the OP clearly feels that way and it is her choice. You are lumping everyone into one (your) way of thinking. OP....you have been misled. Find yourself another, single, Fwb. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem? I wouldn't want to be cheated on. Thus I wouldn't aid someone in cheating on someone else. Yep, this! "This is rather problematic though isn't it? The men who you may be meeting may not share those values, and they do not have to! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Mr ddc So you don't think he had a right to tell me? I'll definitely be using this as a learning experience... He had a right, but not an obligation. You had a right to ask and be given an honest answer, but you chose not to exercise that right. Accepting the difference is what makes us adults, isn't it? In my naivety, I suppose I just didn't think I needed to ask. There's a difference between choosing not to do something and not realising I needed to." There will always be some ready to take advantage of naivety, but in his defence, especially in clubs, the "don't ask/don't tell" rule more often applies than not. It would be a good idea to mention it on your profile too. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Mr ddc So you don't think he had a right to tell me? I'll definitely be using this as a learning experience... He had a right, but not an obligation. You had a right to ask and be given an honest answer, but you chose not to exercise that right. Accepting the difference is what makes us adults, isn't it? In my naivety, I suppose I just didn't think I needed to ask. There's a difference between choosing not to do something and not realising I needed to. There will always be some ready to take advantage of naivety, but in his defence, especially in clubs, the "don't ask/don't tell" rule more often applies than not. It would be a good idea to mention it on your profile too." Yeah, already on it! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" This is rather problematic though isn't it? The men who you may be meeting may not share those values, and they do not have to!" Tbf though, that's akin to saying "she was a vegetarian, but since I'm not, I fed her a big sausage". One has to respect other people's morals, even when they disagree with yours. The issue hear is that the chap is question was never told. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!?" And who said they will tell you the truth just because you ask? Just like your fwb... He lied inwardly by cheating on his gf....I bet he'd have lied in the first place to bed you too......and would you have known? Some are very good and convincing at it. Sounds a bit harsh but I'd say most on here have lied Iin some way or other on fab or off it.... We lie in our photoshoped pics, our profiles, our meets, fake orgasms? ( that's lying), make out we're more/ better/ nicer than we really are. I could go on.... its just many or most if us will overlook some lies but not others. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!?" It is clearly an important factor to you, so yes, you should ask. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!?" I doubt you'll always get an honest answer. I think the best you can do is always be sceptical until you are absolutely certain. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had a guy I used to see maybe once a week. He told me he was single. We met for a couple of months. Different days and different times. Sometimes when it suited him and other times when it suited me. I genuinely though he was single. We met up one Saturday evening and I knew nothing till I was wear9mg my drink. Some girl shouting in my face about me fuckomg her guy. I genuinely thought she was nuts. I turned to him and asked what the story was. He told me that she was in fact his wife of 2 months. I never felt as sick. I wonder have never played with him had I known. Even looking back now there was no signs to say he was seeing someone. I think guys should be honest and females too. Put me off for a long time." Nooooo, that sounds horrendous! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? And who said they will tell you the truth just because you ask? Just like your fwb... He lied inwardly by cheating on his gf....I bet he'd have lied in the first place to bed you too......and would you have known? Some are very good and convincing at it. Sounds a bit harsh but I'd say most on here have lied Iin some way or other on fab or off it.... We lie in our photoshoped pics, our profiles, our meets, fake orgasms? ( that's lying), make out we're more/ better/ nicer than we really are. I could go on.... its just many or most if us will overlook some lies but not others." Lying about having a partner and exaggerating in our profiles is a little different... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!?" Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site?? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site??" | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
 | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I dont wish to be cheated on in a relationship however I am the other woman. Personal preferences are everywhere even if they don't always make sense to other people. " wow what a shitty thing to say if a bloke said that he would be slaughtered. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site??" So being on a swinging site means we shouldn't care whether someone is in a relationship or not? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Noticed it on a few females profile | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site??" errr hello your on a swinging site which would imply its supposed to be mostly a shared experience. ....mabye u need a normal affair site  . | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site??" How does being on a swinging site excuse someone from deceiving someone else in order to get laid? | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site?? So being on a swinging site means we shouldn't care whether someone is in a relationship or not? " will add to that... And meeting someone without their partners knowledge or consent | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site??" I think you should probably look up the definition of swinging. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I had a guy I used to see maybe once a week. He told me he was single. We met for a couple of months. Different days and different times. Sometimes when it suited him and other times when it suited me. I genuinely though he was single. We met up one Saturday evening and I knew nothing till I was wear9mg my drink. Some girl shouting in my face about me fuckomg her guy. I genuinely thought she was nuts. I turned to him and asked what the story was. He told me that she was in fact his wife of 2 months. I never felt as sick. I wonder have never played with him had I known. Even looking back now there was no signs to say he was seeing someone. I think guys should be honest and females too. Put me off for a long time." I had a siilar experience with a woman, although it came out on our first meeting which was a social. She said she was divorced and there was never an issue speaking with her at any time, we spoke on the phone a few times. But, when we met for coffee at a busy place in Manchester, an angry guy walked in. Thankfully (for me) he knew I had been duped and said she had done it before and frog marched her out. I was left with quite a few pairs of eyes looking at me as if I was a home wrecker..... my tail was firmly planted between my legs as I left - like you though, there were no sings that she was still married. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"There's just as many married ladies as guys . But each to their own were all here for fun . " yup but guys dont give a fuck and woman keep it hush hush.theres probably woman on this very thread telling guys they should be upfront about it but they themselves are fucking without there husband's knowledge .
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!?" From what you have wrote it sounds like you have feelings for your fwb. Does that mean you ae still going to see him? Or are you going to give him the option of breaking up with his gf in order to see you? I (mr) think if you do see hom their will always be doubts surrounding him as to whether or not he can be trusted. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? From what you have wrote it sounds like you have feelings for your fwb. Does that mean you ae still going to see him? Or are you going to give him the option of breaking up with his gf in order to see you? I (mr) think if you do see hom their will always be doubts surrounding him as to whether or not he can be trusted." It was more just thinking he was a really decent guy, an actual friend. I just feel like I've been misled. Not going to see him again, no. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site??errr hello your on a swinging site which would imply its supposed to be mostly a shared experience. ....mabye u need a normal affair site ."Hahaha absolutely | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem?" So, I'll answer why it's a problem for me. There are three main reasons. 1. If a man is cheating on his partner, he proberbly doesn't respect her very much. If he doesn't respect the person who he promised to spend the rest of his life being honest with, he proberbly won't respect me very much. I only meet men who I think respect me. 2. I used to be a serial cheat. I decided to come clean with my partner at the time and suggested non-monogamy. He wasn't up for that, so we split, and I basically wrecked my life and rebuilt it from the ground up. I went through an awful lot so that I didn't have to cheat anymore, so I avoid people who won't go through similar. 3. I'm in multiple relationships now. One of our ground rules is that we don't play with those who are being dishonest with their partners. If I break that rule and fuck men who are cheats, then I would expect my partners to dump me. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"But. While we're on the subject of giving honest answers to questions OP: You say that most of the men admitted being married (by which I presume you asked) but you didn't ask this guy, even though you met several times. Why did you treat this one differently? Was he hotter than the rest, or was it something else that subconsciously stopped you asking just this one? No shame in being honest. " We had talked quite extensively about just not having time to have a partner. Therefore, I didn't need to ask. Then, I realised that I didn't hear from him over the weekends and I just thought I'd ask. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site??" Perhaps people who are cheating on their partners should use the sites that are specifically set up for people to find affairs? Then the rest of us could get on with honest and open swinging... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm surprised this guy has turned into a FWB & you didn't think to ask. By the very definition he's a friend with benefits,friends chat & ask questions. However, I do think people should make it crystal clear if they're attached before meeting so one can make an informed choice. It annoys me too when the info isn't volunteered but I've sussed them out. Some seem to take the path of ~ if you don't ask you don't get told." We'd chatted a lot about our home lives, about why we couldn't have partners due to work stuff. There was plenty of chance for him to say. This is a very good learning curve though! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site?? Perhaps people who are cheating on their partners should use the sites that are specifically set up for people to find affairs? Then the rest of us could get on with honest and open swinging..." There's more than one way to be dishonest especially on the web ~ from cheating / age / body type / height..... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No shame in being honest. " yet we see it all the time on here. people (men mainly) being shamed for cheating, bareback fuckers same for them, and sometimes fat people being shamed too. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site??" So because I am a swinger I should have no morals? I shouldn't care if the person fucking me is potentially hurting someone who loves them by lying to them? How very vanilla of you. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!?" If it's important to you, yes, you really should be asking that question and early on. You've also got to accept, that not everyone will be honest in the answer they give, on this and other things. Treat everything as a learning curve, rather than dwelling on it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? From what you have wrote it sounds like you have feelings for your fwb. Does that mean you ae still going to see him? Or are you going to give him the option of breaking up with his gf in order to see you? I (mr) think if you do see hom their will always be doubts surrounding him as to whether or not he can be trusted. It was more just thinking he was a really decent guy, an actual friend. I just feel like I've been misled. Not going to see him again, no. " I sympathise with you and understand where you coming from with your morales to swinging. But I equally look at it differently that does it matter whether guys or girls are single attached or couples? Considering this is a swinging or sex site unless you mistake here to a dating site then it doesn't. The borderline is when fortunately you meet someone here who you really like and want to progress further then the question whether single or attached becomes relevant. My opinion though | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread phew! I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? That depends on you. Many have a 'don't ask - don't tell' policy, so if you haven't asked, it can't have been that important initially, and technically he never misled to you. Treat it as a learning experience and move on. Mr ddc So you don't think he had a right to tell me? I'll definitely be using this as a learning experience..." This is why I utterly hate guys with "any questions. Just ask" Mrs in if you don't ask the write questions they don't have to declare. Sorry you got to like someone. At least youare hunan enough can like soneone. Empathy Jx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's clearly an important factor to you when choosing a playmate so you should ask the question early on. Whether you get a truthful answer is another thing! We're all naive to a certain extent, I have been in the past. Let's face it *most* guys on here think with their cocks but there are some who aren't quite so blatant about it, it just takes a while to find them "This
Oh, and body glitter, non single singles seem to run a mile from women in body glitter, no explaining it when they get home! X | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? And who said they will tell you the truth just because you ask? Just like your fwb... He lied inwardly by cheating on his gf....I bet he'd have lied in the first place to bed you too......and would you have known? Some are very good and convincing at it. Sounds a bit harsh but I'd say most on here have lied Iin some way or other on fab or off it.... We lie in our photoshoped pics, our profiles, our meets, fake orgasms? ( that's lying), make out we're more/ better/ nicer than we really are. I could go on.... its just many or most if us will overlook some lies but not others. Lying about having a partner and exaggerating in our profiles is a little different..." Both are lying..... as a previous poster said...It matters to you so ask it....for others it doesn't matter or what matters to them is something different than what matters to others. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? If it's important to you, yes, you really should be asking that question and early on. You've also got to accept, that not everyone will be honest in the answer they give, on this and other things. Treat everything as a learning curve, rather than dwelling on it. " | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? From what you have wrote it sounds like you have feelings for your fwb. Does that mean you ae still going to see him? Or are you going to give him the option of breaking up with his gf in order to see you? I (mr) think if you do see hom their will always be doubts surrounding him as to whether or not he can be trusted. It was more just thinking he was a really decent guy, an actual friend. I just feel like I've been misled. Not going to see him again, no. I sympathise with you and understand where you coming from with your morales to swinging. But I equally look at it differently that does it matter whether guys or girls are single attached or couples? Considering this is a swinging or sex site unless you mistake here to a dating site then it doesn't. The borderline is when fortunately you meet someone here who you really like and want to progress further then the question whether single or attached becomes relevant. My opinion though" It's more for my own personal values. Even if I'm meeting someone who I don't expect to see again, I'd still like to know they're not cheating on someone. I think the whole point of swinging is to be non-monogamous as a partnership. Cheating is different. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"It's clearly an important factor to you when choosing a playmate so you should ask the question early on. Whether you get a truthful answer is another thing! We're all naive to a certain extent, I have been in the past. Let's face it *most* guys on here think with their cocks but there are some who aren't quite so blatant about it, it just takes a while to find them
This
Oh, and body glitter, non single singles seem to run a mile from women in body glitter, no explaining it when they get home! X"This is a bloody brilliantly idea! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!?" I'm sorry he's not been truthful with you. It is an unfortunate learning curve. I do wish some people on this thread didn't feel the need to be so spiteful about your post though. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think he should cheat its sexy " Why did I defend you yesterday?! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think he should cheat its sexy Why did I defend you yesterday?!" Its a joke I'm not gonna cheat x | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I think he should cheat its sexy Why did I defend you yesterday?!" That's why I don't defend people on here. And I generally don't expect it in return. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
another great filter for me pfft  I completely get where you are coming from op. It's not as clear cut as people think. It's selfish on their behalf not to tell you their situation before you meet. Don't beat yourself up about it, it will be a learning curve unfortunately. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No shame in being honest. yet we see it all the time on here. people (men mainly) being shamed for cheating, bareback fuckers same for them, and sometimes fat people being shamed too." Possibly, but I meant it in the sense that, from the off, this looked like another case where two swingles, both looking for different things, allowed themselves to end up in the unholy compromise that is FWB simply by keeping shtum, until such point that it no longer became viable to continue. The onus appears to always be on the person not able to defend themselves, whereas I simply wondered whether the OP would be honest enough to admit whether or not she allowed herself to be swept off her feet, while secretly knowing that it was too good to be true, but at the same time blocking that knowledge out. Sadly the question was missed... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No shame in being honest. yet we see it all the time on here. people (men mainly) being shamed for cheating, bareback fuckers same for them, and sometimes fat people being shamed too. Possibly, but I meant it in the sense that, from the off, this looked like another case where two swingles, both looking for different things, allowed themselves to end up in the unholy compromise that is FWB simply by keeping shtum, until such point that it no longer became viable to continue. The onus appears to always be on the person not able to defend themselves, whereas I simply wondered whether the OP would be honest enough to admit whether or not she allowed herself to be swept off her feet, while secretly knowing that it was too good to be true, but at the same time blocking that knowledge out. Sadly the question was missed... " ah ok. i get you now. yeah i've noticed most of the genuine single guys tend to be single for many reasons. and the attached guys tend to be better lovers, better looking, can see you more regular co they haven't got time to chase anyone else, etc. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? "  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem?" Is this a serious question? I'd rather he leave his partner then have sex with him, rather than worrying about his partner and how he/she will, no doubt, be emotionally destroyed when she were to find out. I don't want to be a part of someone falling into something like depression because he couldn't be faithful or honest. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem?" Where to begin...nar can't be bothered. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site??" Errm hello... She wants a single FWB, and she has that right! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"So, since joining just over a month ago, I've spoken to some really nice people. We've exchanged KiKs, etc and a few of them have then admitted to having girlfriends. I tend to say "no thanks but I appreciate the honesty", at that point. A guy who has turned into a FWB messaged me today so I asked him if he had a girlfriend. He admits that he does. I actually feel sick and angry. I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread because people do what they do for a while host of reasons. Many we can't understand if we're not involved. However, because I wasn't told beforehand and able to make a decision based on that information, I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? Errr hello?? You are on a swinging site?? Maybe you need a normal dating site?? So being on a swinging site means we shouldn't care whether someone is in a relationship or not? " That's pretty sickening if that's the case. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No shame in being honest. yet we see it all the time on here. people (men mainly) being shamed for cheating, bareback fuckers same for them, and sometimes fat people being shamed too. Possibly, but I meant it in the sense that, from the off, this looked like another case where two swingles, both looking for different things, allowed themselves to end up in the unholy compromise that is FWB simply by keeping shtum, until such point that it no longer became viable to continue. The onus appears to always be on the person not able to defend themselves, whereas I simply wondered whether the OP would be honest enough to admit whether or not she allowed herself to be swept off her feet, while secretly knowing that it was too good to be true, but at the same time blocking that knowledge out. Sadly the question was missed... " No, I'm pretty sure I answered your question... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
I am another person who *is* bothered by cheating, and so I do ask, I also do a social first, then first play is at their house (well, apart from my latest meet, where we hit it off so well I threw my rule book out the window and invited him over to mine!  ). It's perfectly possible I've played with cheaters in clubs, but I can't see there's much I can do about that really. It's not a nice learning curve though OP, the last guy I vanilla dated before joining the swinging scene turned out to be married, and we'd been dating for 3 months. Not cool | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Complicated. I would never cheat, never have, but it turns me on to feel cheated on and I certainly wouldn't judge others that cheat. We're all a confused tangle of emotions....and I'm plain weird" I don't it's that weird. Your profile name is kind of a clue  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"But. While we're on the subject of giving honest answers to questions OP: You say that most of the men admitted being married (by which I presume you asked) but you didn't ask this guy, even though you met several times. Why did you treat this one differently? Was he hotter than the rest, or was it something else that subconsciously stopped you asking just this one? No shame in being honest. We had talked quite extensively about just not having time to have a partner. Therefore, I didn't need to ask. Then, I realised that I didn't hear from him over the weekends and I just thought I'd ask. " DerbyDalesCpl brought up some very interesting points. Yes everything we choose to disclose about our personal lives to potential play partners is optional. The vast majority of us have to compartmentalise certain aspects of our lives to do what we do. So yes, there is a lot of "Don't Ask - Don't Tell" happening in swinging, some with good reason and good results. And yes, not everyone operates on the same moral grounds! However, hearing this detail of your conversations, I believe your FWB knowingly deceived you. It is one thing avoiding to mention one is attached unless asked straight-on, another thing entirely *actively* pretending to be unattached. Not only did he not tell you he was in a relationship, he specifically told you he wasn't in one. So give yourself a break about this one, and be more aggressive about checking people's relationship status in the future. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I simply wondered whether the OP would be honest enough to admit whether or not she allowed herself to be swept off her feet, while secretly knowing that it was too good to be true, but at the same time blocking that knowledge out. Sadly the question was missed... " An astute question, too! I think you may have missed her answer. I don't think the OP being slow at clocking his deception can be classified as wishful thinking/secretly knowing but being in denial. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I simply wondered whether the OP would be honest enough to admit whether or not she allowed herself to be swept off her feet, while secretly knowing that it was too good to be true, but at the same time blocking that knowledge out. Sadly the question was missed... An astute question, too! I think you may have missed her answer. " I did. Sorry OP. The perils of dipping in and out whilst busy elsewhere. I forgot to ensure there was a 'ddc' somewhere, which is how I normally search for replies | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem?" And the face palm post of the day goes to you my friend | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"But. While we're on the subject of giving honest answers to questions OP: You say that most of the men admitted being married (by which I presume you asked) but you didn't ask this guy, even though you met several times. Why did you treat this one differently? Was he hotter than the rest, or was it something else that subconsciously stopped you asking just this one? No shame in being honest. We had talked quite extensively about just not having time to have a partner. Therefore, I didn't need to ask. Then, I realised that I didn't hear from him over the weekends and I just thought I'd ask. DerbyDalesCpl brought up some very interesting points. Yes everything we choose to disclose about our personal lives to potential play partners is optional. The vast majority of us have to compartmentalise certain aspects of our lives to do what we do. So yes, there is a lot of "Don't Ask - Don't Tell" happening in swinging, some with good reason and good results. And yes, not everyone operates on the same moral grounds! However, hearing this detail of your conversations, I believe your FWB knowingly deceived you. It is one thing avoiding to mention one is attached unless asked straight-on, another thing entirely *actively* pretending to be unattached. Not only did he not tell you he was in a relationship, he specifically told you he wasn't in one. So give yourself a break about this one, and be more aggressive about checking people's relationship status in the future." An interesting thread, OP. Thank you for sharing, and hope you are okay. I agree that he was in the wrong given the context you have presented. I am saddened to admit that I concur that you need to ask the question directly if it is an imperative for you, I too would have hoped this wouldn't be the case, but people can and do let us down in their omission of truth. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You do wonder though if a single guy had done the same post if he'd got as much sympathy understanding and advice or would have he been told to grow a pair and man up,just a thought "I'd have treated him pretty similar to be honest. I think it's shitty to talk about why you don't have a partner at home, and then it turns out that you do... | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You do wonder though if a single guy had done the same post if he'd got as much sympathy understanding and advice or would have he been told to grow a pair and man up,just a thought "You must be BORED if you feel the need to stir up trouble the way you do. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You can certainly ask, we usually do but you won't always get the absolute truth. The only thing you can do is satisfy yourself as far as possible that there isn't someone at home completely unaware and then carry on." This as has been repeatedly said on here a few times in various ways. Satisfy yourself then proceed and if your wrong don't beat yourself about it. Move on. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You do wonder though if a single guy had done the same post if he'd got as much sympathy understanding and advice or would have he been told to grow a pair and man up,just a thought
I'd have treated him pretty similar to be honest.
I think it's shitty to talk about why you don't have a partner at home, and then it turns out that you do..."Agreed | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You do wonder though if a single guy had done the same post if he'd got as much sympathy understanding and advice or would have he been told to grow a pair and man up,just a thought
I'd have treated him pretty similar to be honest.
I think it's shitty to talk about why you don't have a partner at home, and then it turns out that you do..."Agreed, I would post similar feelings of sympathy to the OP. Sorry to disappoint those that like to be 'controversial'. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You do wonder though if a single guy had done the same post if he'd got as much sympathy understanding and advice or would have he been told to grow a pair and man up,just a thought
You must be BORED if you feel the need to stir up trouble the way you do. "Sorry have we said something to upset you if so we'd like to.....Actually tough,observation thats all,no trouble stired except in your head | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Always state in your profile you don't meet married or attatched people" I have this but, as we know, the don't read it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You do wonder though if a single guy had done the same post if he'd got as much sympathy understanding and advice or would have he been told to grow a pair and man up,just a thought
You must be BORED if you feel the need to stir up trouble the way you do.
Sorry have we said something to upset you if so we'd like to.....Actually tough,observation thats all,no trouble stired except in your head "Wow. What a dreadful noise. Keep it down. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Always state in your profile you don't meet married or attatched people I have this but, as we know, the don't read it." Yes, I've changed mine now too! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Always state in your profile you don't meet married or attatched people I have this but, as we know, the don't read it. Yes, I've changed mine now too! " I don't have it on mine, I've found people have been more inclined to state it when messaging, whereas when it was on my profile they didn't mention it. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
xxxx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"We've chatted to both guys and girls on the scene who have been open to admit they are there behind their partner's back. We've known others we suspect are but believe they are lying. If it's important to your decision making (you of course will and should have a preference) then you need to ask. If you are lied to you cannot help that. We ask because it is important to us. Enjoy the people for who they are, ask lots of questions, make amazing friends and decide the ones that you want to see their naughty bits xxxx"Ahh thanks for that! X | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Always state in your profile you don't meet married or attatched people I have this but, as we know, the don't read it. Yes, I've changed mine now too! " The point of our post is if you're genuinely keen for this to not happen again do the opposite. Insist you only meet attached people with the consent of their partner. Putting "won't meet attached people" on your profile changes nothing at all. You may as well use the space warning about Sydney University | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Always state in your profile you don't meet married or attatched people I have this but, as we know, the don't read it. Yes, I've changed mine now too! The point of our post is if you're genuinely keen for this to not happen again do the opposite. Insist you only meet attached people with the consent of their partner. Putting "won't meet attached people" on your profile changes nothing at all. You may as well use the space warning about Sydney University " A-thank-you! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"You do wonder though if a single guy had done the same post if he'd got as much sympathy understanding and advice or would have he been told to grow a pair and man up,just a thought
You must be BORED if you feel the need to stir up trouble the way you do.
Sorry have we said something to upset you if so we'd like to.....Actually tough,observation thats all,no trouble stired except in your head
Wow.
What a dreadful noise.
Keep it down.
"Lol funny thing you | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Always state in your profile you don't meet married or attatched people I have this but, as we know, the don't read it. Yes, I've changed mine now too! I don't have it on mine, I've found people have been more inclined to state it when messaging, whereas when it was on my profile they didn't mention it." agree with this. X ask them then and most will boast then you can move on | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"No problem x Very stunning pic BTW! Gorgeous eyes " Ahh thanks!  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Always state in your profile you don't meet married or attatched people I have this but, as we know, the don't read it. Yes, I've changed mine now too! I don't have it on mine, I've found people have been more inclined to state it when messaging, whereas when it was on my profile they didn't mention it.agree with this. X ask them then and most will boast then you can move on " It's a tough one... I can see that this would work too! | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem?" Personally it's because their schedule to be free to meet isn't flexible enough for my meet needs. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Always state in your profile you don't meet married or attatched people I have this but, as we know, the don't read it. Yes, I've changed mine now too! I don't have it on mine, I've found people have been more inclined to state it when messaging, whereas when it was on my profile they didn't mention it.agree with this. X ask them then and most will boast then you can move on It's a tough one... I can see that this would work too! " Nothing like lots of conflicting advice based on anecdotal evidence  | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Always state in your profile you don't meet married or attatched people I have this but, as we know, the don't read it. Yes, I've changed mine now too! I don't have it on mine, I've found people have been more inclined to state it when messaging, whereas when it was on my profile they didn't mention it.agree with this. X ask them then and most will boast then you can move on It's a tough one... I can see that this would work too! Nothing like lots of conflicting advice based on anecdotal evidence "But when people ask things majority of the time it will based around anecdotal evidence, I'm not going to go and do a large study on it so it can be generalised. So I put what I know through my own experience, like many others. | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" I don't want this to turn into a judgemental thread phew! I feel like I've been misled. Should I be asking by default if they have partners who are not aware of their presence on here!? That depends on you. Many have a 'don't ask - don't tell' policy, so if you haven't asked, it can't have been that important initially, and technically he never misled to you. Treat it as a learning experience and move on. Mr ddc So you don't think he had a right to tell me? I'll definitely be using this as a learning experience..." lots of men will want to get in your knickers..once or more than once..take charge and ask the questions you want answered...that is the best way..no he doesnt have to tell you anything, considerate yes, but hes under no obligation to...take care sweet..learn quick and move on, to taking full charge of who you meet xxxxx | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem?" Excellent point. I don't have any issues with married/attached men | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I clearly state if someone is married they must move on. Not interested in the baggage or drama for numerous reasons The main one being they will not likely be available when I am Nor can they be seen in public in the local area Plus just recently I have been put in the situation of being named by the husband to the wife, didn't know he was married!, and now I have to wonder if she'll be knocking on my door!! It's not worth the aggro for me personally!! " You were named ? Do you honestly give people your real name ? That's extremely trusting off you. You're a braver lady than I am | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I clearly state if someone is married they must move on. Not interested in the baggage or drama for numerous reasons The main one being they will not likely be available when I am Nor can they be seen in public in the local area Plus just recently I have been put in the situation of being named by the husband to the wife, didn't know he was married!, and now I have to wonder if she'll be knocking on my door!! It's not worth the aggro for me personally!! You were named ? Do you honestly give people your real name ? That's extremely trusting off you. You're a braver lady than I am "I've always read your posts under the assumption your surname was Minx
I go to clubs as well and to be honest there's no way there I could know what a single ladies marital status is | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I clearly state if someone is married they must move on. Not interested in the baggage or drama for numerous reasons The main one being they will not likely be available when I am Nor can they be seen in public in the local area Plus just recently I have been put in the situation of being named by the husband to the wife, didn't know he was married!, and now I have to wonder if she'll be knocking on my door!! It's not worth the aggro for me personally!! You were named ? Do you honestly give people your real name ? That's extremely trusting off you. You're a braver lady than I am
I've always read your posts under the assumption your surname was Minx
I go to clubs as well and to be honest there's no way there I could know what a single ladies marital status is "Oh, but my surname is minx....in this fantasy life it is anyway | |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why do such a lot of you ladies have problems with attached men? What is the problem? If a man decides that he would prefer to have sex with you, rather than his partner, surely you should feel happy about that? Surely it's nice to know you'be attracted him? What exactly is the problem?" No that is just absolute arrogance and ignorance.
| |||
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| Post new Message to Thread |
| back to top |  |
