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Singles don't get swinging....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

After reading various posts on the forum recently we've realised that there's a huge difference between couples and singles perceptions of swinging.

Couples generally enjoy swinging together as an enhancement of their relationship. We understand this completely as it's what we do it, however there are many singles on here for NSA sex who just don't get it.

Yes we understand that monogamy is the norm, and many singles in here wouldn't want to swing with a partner because of jealousy issues, but that's no reason to dismiss couples that do like to share.

We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

Everyone is different. Are people so close minded that they they think their way is the only way?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/10/16 20:16:51]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im totally open minded and fully appreciate that people are individuals with different reasons as to why they joined Fab.

Like you say, there is such a vast amount of people from all different scenarios. That's what makes this place so interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get the fucking part and that's good enough for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I get the fucking part and that's good enough for me "

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By *ymruambythCouple
over a year ago

grantham

Single's see 'swinging' as purely hook-ups. I know, I've been there.

Couples usually (not always) see swinging as an extension to their lifestyle, to complement their relationship, have fun and perhaps widen their social scene.

There's a whole lot of suckin'n'fuckin' in both scenarios, it's just that with couples it's a bit more nuanced!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I get the fucking part and that's good enough for me "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i've never been into swinging myself, don't wanna meet attached guys either even if they have permission.

it's not that i judge people who do it, i wouldn't use a site if what a majority of members do on it repulsed me, they can do what they want. i just wouldn't wanna do it personally and have the choice not to.

don't really care why you do it either, i just know it does nothing for me personally, no big deal.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After reading various posts on the forum recently we've realised that there's a huge difference between couples and singles perceptions of swinging.

Couples generally enjoy swinging together as an enhancement of their relationship. We understand this completely as it's what we do it, however there are many singles on here for NSA sex who just don't get it.

Yes we understand that monogamy is the norm, and many singles in here wouldn't want to swing with a partner because of jealousy issues, but that's no reason to dismiss couples that do like to share.

We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

Everyone is different. Are people so close minded that they they think their way is the only way?

"

Is your last sentence supposed to be ironic

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in. "

How does that add up to singles not understanding swinging?

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

No i can see it from both sides but basicly i think that rightly or wrongly that most couples swing because they arent totaly satisfied with each other in one way or another.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a swinger, I'm on here purely to meet like minded men. TBH I could never see myself swinging with a partner / husband but I don't knock / judge those that do.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst


"After reading various posts on the forum recently we've realised that there's a huge difference between couples and singles perceptions of swinging.

Couples generally enjoy swinging together as an enhancement of their relationship. We understand this completely as it's what we do it, however there are many singles on here for NSA sex who just don't get it.

Yes we understand that monogamy is the norm, and many singles in here wouldn't want to swing with a partner because of jealousy issues, but that's no reason to dismiss couples that do like to share.

We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

Everyone is different. Are people so close minded that they they think their way is the only way?

Is your last sentence supposed to be ironic "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

How does that add up to singles not understanding swinging?"

Because a lot are happy to meet for NSA sex, but judge couples that are happy to do the same.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"After reading various posts on the forum recently we've realised that there's a huge difference between couples and singles perceptions of swinging.

Couples generally enjoy swinging together as an enhancement of their relationship. We understand this completely as it's what we do it, however there are many singles on here for NSA sex who just don't get it.

Yes we understand that monogamy is the norm, and many singles in here wouldn't want to swing with a partner because of jealousy issues, but that's no reason to dismiss couples that do like to share.

We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

Everyone is different. Are people so close minded that they they think their way is the only way?

Is your last sentence supposed to be ironic "

No. I get people wouldn't want to share their partners, that's fine, but understand some do, and that's fine too

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

How does that add up to singles not understanding swinging?

Because a lot are happy to meet for NSA sex, but judge couples that are happy to do the same. "

I still don't get how that means all singles don't get it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agee. I feel that about a large portion of single men. When we get messaged by a single guy, our first thought (if they look good) is why do they want to meet a couple? Do they just want NSA sex with a woman and will put up with the husband being there in order to get it? Or do they genuinely get off on MMF or MFM threesomes, or any other form of sex involving more than 2 people? Unless we are going down the avenue of me having a lone lover, we avoid the former group on the basis that my husband would be a spare part. That being said we have managed to befriend a number of singles who genuinely enjoy the swing scene, and love threesomes and moresomes, and have said that if they were with a partner they would be looking to swing as a couple. It's not a deal breaker, but I don't feel so comfortable with men who wouldn't let their partner play. We prefer a man who understands us. We have found it easier to find those singles who 'get it' at clubs and parties.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least us singles dont practise adultery, we just shag

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By *adyDangerWoman
over a year ago

land of debauchery and kink

I'm single and I get/understand swinging.

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By *ymruambythCouple
over a year ago

grantham


"No i can see it from both sides but basicly i think that rightly or wrongly that most couples swing because they arent totaly satisfied with each other in one way or another."

Not the case (for us anyway). If we decided to give up the swinging lifestyle we would do in a second and still love each other and have a fulfilling sex life.

Swinging *enhances* it, but isn't the be all and end all.

Using the same logic you could say that couples who enjoy socialising down the pub are not satisfied by their own company.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst


"At least us singles dont practise adultery, we just shag "

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

How does that add up to singles not understanding swinging?

Because a lot are happy to meet for NSA sex, but judge couples that are happy to do the same.

I still don't get how that means all singles don't get it?"

Lol not all singles, some do, but some think it's funny that occasiobally one of a couple chooses to be unfaithful. It happens, it's life, it's nothing to be applauded whether a swinger or not.

I agree with your posts on the forum generally, not sure what you're problem is with what I've said

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"At least us singles dont practise adultery, we just shag "

We're not practising adultery either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At least us singles dont practise adultery, we just shag

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've net a lot of couples who are glad that single males, like me, do appreciate what they see swinging as....and yes I do appreciate the social aspect of it too....having attended and hosted a fair number of parties with a good mixture of couples (mostly) and singles.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm single and I get/understand swinging. "

Lots do, some don't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At least us singles dont practise adultery, we just shag

We're not practising adultery either "
That is good

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"At least us singles dont practise adultery, we just shag

We're not practising adultery either That is good "

Lol is it good? Why?

We're not married therefore can't be adulterous, but would it matter??

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By *adyDangerWoman
over a year ago

land of debauchery and kink


"I'm single and I get/understand swinging.

Lots do, some don't "

I would love to have a partner and we could swing together, maybe one day but never seemed to happen yet.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Lol not all singles, some do, but some think it's funny that occasiobally one of a couple chooses to be unfaithful. It happens, it's life, it's nothing to be applauded whether a swinger or not.

I agree with your posts on the forum generally, not sure what you're problem is with what I've said "

Clue's in the thread title "Singles don't get swinging...."

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Lol not all singles, some do, but some think it's funny that occasiobally one of a couple chooses to be unfaithful. It happens, it's life, it's nothing to be applauded whether a swinger or not.

I agree with your posts on the forum generally, not sure what you're problem is with what I've said

Clue's in the thread title "Singles don't get swinging...." "

Ok maybe I should have said SOME singles.

Some do, good job too as we need single guys to meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At least us singles dont practise adultery, we just shag

We're not practising adultery either That is good

Lol is it good? Why?

We're not married therefore can't be adulterous, but would it matter?? "
That is right, so your ok too there lol, well it depends how some are religious you know.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax


"Single's see 'swinging' as purely hook-ups. I know, I've been there.

Couples usually (not always) see swinging as an extension to their lifestyle, to complement their relationship, have fun and perhaps widen their social scene.

There's a whole lot of suckin'n'fuckin' in both scenarios, it's just that with couples it's a bit more nuanced!"

This for us.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cheating happens in all areas of life. It's a fact. Sad thing is, I've noticed some couples go around believing their marriage is ideal and their partners would never cheat. Little do they know.

People shouldn't be judged on any of their personal circumstances, regardless of whether they cheat or they don't. People should just be kind to one another as no one knows what personal battles people may be dealing with.

Surely in this day and age it should be a " live and let live " society.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"At least us singles dont practise adultery, we just shag

We're not practising adultery either That is good

Lol is it good? Why?

We're not married therefore can't be adulterous, but would it matter?? That is right, so your ok too there lol, well it depends how some are religious you know."

Interesting thought. Can religion and swinging mix? Not sure they're mutually compatible. I wouldn't know being an atheist, but I'm sure others have convincing argumenst as as to why it's ok

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Clue's in the thread title "Singles don't get swinging...."

Ok maybe I should have said SOME singles.

Some do, good job too as we need single guys to meet "

Ahh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

adultery is having sex with someone you are not married to. being single and having sex also means you're adulterous.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your OP was quite a sweeping statement there.

Some of us have been in a couple doing this. And chose to go back to it because the lifestyle suits.

I'm kinda bored of the assumption that I'm here to find a boyfriend and then I'll disappear into some happy little loved up life never to be seen again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No i can see it from both sides but basicly i think that rightly or wrongly that most couples swing because they arent totaly satisfied with each other in one way or another.

Not the case (for us anyway). If we decided to give up the swinging lifestyle we would do in a second and still love each other and have a fulfilling sex life.

Swinging *enhances* it, but isn't the be all and end all.

Using the same logic you could say that couples who enjoy socialising down the pub are not satisfied by their own company. "

Well said !!!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Cheating happens in all areas of life. It's a fact. Sad thing is, I've noticed some couples go around believing their marriage is ideal and their partners would never cheat. Little do they know.

People shouldn't be judged on any of their personal circumstances, regardless of whether they cheat or they don't. People should just be kind to one another as no one knows what personal battles people may be dealing with.

Surely in this day and age it should be a " live and let live " society. "

Yes you're right, but my opinion is, cheating is seperate to swinging.

We see swinging as a hobby we do together. It doesn't preclude cheating, if you're going to cheat then you'll cheat regardless.

Some who swing cheat, some don't, some who don't swing cheat, some don't.

It's more a personality thing, but so often we see singles laughing as they've had a message from one of a couple and think it means swinging means cheating.

I suppose that's what prompted this thread, to them it's one and the same but it's really not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 24/10/16 21:14:50]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I meet people I avoid asking too many questions because I don't want to know the answer. It's much easier that way.

Quite possibly 'most' singles don't understand swinging but no need to discuss opinions. Just have fun.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"adultery is having sex with someone you are not married to. being single and having sex also means you're adulterous."

Someone has to be married for adultery to take place.

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By *ty31Man
over a year ago

NW London

I wouldn't call myself a swinger, I just enjoy the socialising with likeminded people and wherever that leads.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"adultery is having sex with someone you are not married to. being single and having sex also means you're adulterous."

No it doesn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think nowadays the site has become a version of tin der for singles and fab swingers for couples. Singles are generally here to find a fuck as oppose to (like the OP said) enhance their relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm single and I get/understand swinging.

Lots do, some don't "

I do and I wish I could be a proper part of it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I meet people I avoid asking too many questions because I don't want to know the answer. It's much easier that way.

Quite possibly 'most' singles don't understand swinging but no need to discuss opinions. Just have fun. "

Definitely agree.

It's the veiled insults on the forum to couples not being enough for each other that I suppose I'm referring to, as it's rubbish.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating happens in all areas of life. It's a fact. Sad thing is, I've noticed some couples go around believing their marriage is ideal and their partners would never cheat. Little do they know.

People shouldn't be judged on any of their personal circumstances, regardless of whether they cheat or they don't. People should just be kind to one another as no one knows what personal battles people may be dealing with.

Surely in this day and age it should be a " live and let live " society. "

I can be kind but that kindness doesn't include having sex with cheaters.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"adultery is having sex with someone you are not married to. being single and having sex also means you're adulterous.

Someone has to be married for adultery to take place. "

just googled and you're right. could've sworn if you had sex and wasn't married it was for that too.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!


"When I meet people I avoid asking too many questions because I don't want to know the answer. It's much easier that way.

Quite possibly 'most' singles don't understand swinging but no need to discuss opinions. Just have fun.

Definitely agree.

It's the veiled insults on the forum to couples not being enough for each other that I suppose I'm referring to, as it's rubbish. "

I've seen evidence of that. Snide comments hiding behind the mask of

opinion.

I'm always hugely impressed by couples that swing and especially those who let me join in with them for a while.

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By *pices69Couple
over a year ago

Gravesend


"No i can see it from both sides but basicly i think that rightly or wrongly that most couples swing because they arent totaly satisfied with each other in one way or another."

Im glad to say, we arent most couples. Im actually quite surprised by that statement, made on a swinging website.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"adultery is having sex with someone you are not married to. being single and having sex also means you're adulterous.

Someone has to be married for adultery to take place.

just googled and you're right. could've sworn if you had sex and wasn't married it was for that too."

That's just sex

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating happens in all areas of life. It's a fact. Sad thing is, I've noticed some couples go around believing their marriage is ideal and their partners would never cheat. Little do they know.

People shouldn't be judged on any of their personal circumstances, regardless of whether they cheat or they don't. People should just be kind to one another as no one knows what personal battles people may be dealing with.

Surely in this day and age it should be a " live and let live " society.

I can be kind but that kindness doesn't include having sex with cheaters."

Fair comment ?? But my point was that people could just be kind instead of being so judgemental. No one forces anyone to have sex with anyone, but then again how can anyone be certain that they aren't meeting cheaters, especially when playing in clubs etc

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At least us singles dont practise adultery, we just shag

We're not practising adultery either That is good

Lol is it good? Why?

We're not married therefore can't be adulterous, but would it matter?? That is right, so your ok too there lol, well it depends how some are religious you know.

Interesting thought. Can religion and swinging mix? Not sure they're mutually compatible. I wouldn't know being an atheist, but I'm sure others have convincing argumenst as as to why it's ok "
That is interesting and I see you are an atheist too. I reckon the same it can't be mixed but not all the time.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I meet people I avoid asking too many questions because I don't want to know the answer. It's much easier that way.

Quite possibly 'most' singles don't understand swinging but no need to discuss opinions. Just have fun.

Definitely agree.

It's the veiled insults on the forum to couples not being enough for each other that I suppose I'm referring to, as it's rubbish.

I've seen evidence of that. Snide comments hiding behind the mask of

opinion.

I'm always hugely impressed by couples that swing and especially those who let me join in with them for a while. "

The whole bi mnf dynamic is fantastic when you get the right guy to join you

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No i can see it from both sides but basicly i think that rightly or wrongly that most couples swing because they arent totaly satisfied with each other in one way or another.

Im glad to say, we arent most couples. Im actually quite surprised by that statement, made on a swinging website. "

There's nothing wrong with our marriage sexually or otherwise. But I desire the variety of more than one man, and always have done. Each man is slightly different and it would not be possible to get that from one man alone. So it's not our marriage but it's me.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No i can see it from both sides but basicly i think that rightly or wrongly that most couples swing because they arent totaly satisfied with each other in one way or another.

Im glad to say, we arent most couples. Im actually quite surprised by that statement, made on a swinging website. "

You''re surprised? Are you new to fab???

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"No i can see it from both sides but basicly i think that rightly or wrongly that most couples swing because they arent totaly satisfied with each other in one way or another.

Im glad to say, we arent most couples. Im actually quite surprised by that statement, made on a swinging website.

There's nothing wrong with our marriage sexually or otherwise. But I desire the variety of more than one man, and always have done. Each man is slightly different and it would not be possible to get that from one man alone. So it's not our marriage but it's me.

Mrs"

Are you saying you're not totally satisfied with each other then??

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By *eliWoman
over a year ago

.


"

Definitely agree.

It's the veiled insults on the forum to couples not being enough for each other that I suppose I'm referring to, as it's rubbish. "

I think there was irony and a quite broad sweeping generalisation in the OP there OP. With regards to the insults, I've seen it from mainly couples on recent threads, not from those singles who don't understand swinging. Swinging has moved on from the traditional 50s couple swapping now and I dislike this notion that one way is the right way. It comes across almost as judgemental as those who make misguided comments about the stability of a couple's relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"At least us singles dont practise adultery, we just shag

We're not practising adultery either That is good

Lol is it good? Why?

We're not married therefore can't be adulterous, but would it matter?? That is right, so your ok too there lol, well it depends how some are religious you know.

Interesting thought. Can religion and swinging mix? Not sure they're mutually compatible. I wouldn't know being an atheist, but I'm sure others have convincing argumenst as as to why it's ok That is interesting and I see you are an atheist too. I reckon the same it can't be mixed but not all the time."

As religion is being brought into this discussion, our experience is that we have tried to have both in our life. My husband separates the 2 better than me, but it's very hard to explain how I've comes to terms with the 2 opposing beliefs. But yes we have both, and we know of others who do. It's a difficult one

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham


"After reading various posts on the forum recently we've realised that there's a huge difference between couples and singles perceptions of swinging.

Couples generally enjoy swinging together as an enhancement of their relationship. We understand this completely as it's what we do it, however there are many singles on here for NSA sex who just don't get it.

Yes we understand that monogamy is the norm, and many singles in here wouldn't want to swing with a partner because of jealousy issues, but that's no reason to dismiss couples that do like to share.

We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

Everyone is different. Are people so close minded that they they think their way is the only way?

"

i dont get your post....you say each to their own at the end yet say that singles must only conform to how you see swinging.....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

Definitely agree.

It's the veiled insults on the forum to couples not being enough for each other that I suppose I'm referring to, as it's rubbish.

I think there was irony and a quite broad sweeping generalisation in the OP there OP. With regards to the insults, I've seen it from mainly couples on recent threads, not from those singles who don't understand swinging. Swinging has moved on from the traditional 50s couple swapping now and I dislike this notion that one way is the right way. It comes across almost as judgemental as those who make misguided comments about the stability of a couple's relationship. "

But I don't think one way is the right way, however we have seen lots of singles tell couples their relationship must be lacking as they are swinging, and they'd never do it themselves if they were in a relationship, as they couldn't bear to share their partner.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"At least us singles dont practise adultery, we just shag "

Hate to break it to you Shag, but not only can singles commit adultery, but even Jesus wasn't too hot on fornication.

Best never to use the Bible to support any opinion on a swinging site

OP: some swingles get it, some don't. I hadn't fully appreciated that until I read the forums

Mr ddc

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I meet people I avoid asking too many questions because I don't want to know the answer. It's much easier that way.

Quite possibly 'most' singles don't understand swinging but no need to discuss opinions. Just have fun.

Definitely agree.

It's the veiled insults on the forum to couples not being enough for each other that I suppose I'm referring to, as it's rubbish. "

There's lots of couples on here that only swing to stop the other person from cheating.

There's loads more couples on here that use swinging to patch up their relationship because without swinging they would have nothing.

There's also lots of couples that swing because it very much enhances their relationship. All true facts.

It's interesting which couples assume general facts are about them.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"After reading various posts on the forum recently we've realised that there's a huge difference between couples and singles perceptions of swinging.

Couples generally enjoy swinging together as an enhancement of their relationship. We understand this completely as it's what we do it, however there are many singles on here for NSA sex who just don't get it.

Yes we understand that monogamy is the norm, and many singles in here wouldn't want to swing with a partner because of jealousy issues, but that's no reason to dismiss couples that do like to share.

We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

Everyone is different. Are people so close minded that they they think their way is the only way?

i dont get your post....you say each to their own at the end yet say that singles must only conform to how you see swinging....."

No not at all. I'm happy for anyone to meet how they see fit, but recently I've seen an increase in posts from singles saying there must be something wrong in a relationships if a couple is swinging. Nothing wrong with nsa sex, nothing wrong with partner swapping, nothing wrong with bringing a third into the mix.

Do what you do, but let others do their own thing too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating happens in all areas of life. It's a fact. Sad thing is, I've noticed some couples go around believing their marriage is ideal and their partners would never cheat. Little do they know.

People shouldn't be judged on any of their personal circumstances, regardless of whether they cheat or they don't. People should just be kind to one another as no one knows what personal battles people may be dealing with.

Surely in this day and age it should be a " live and let live " society.

I can be kind but that kindness doesn't include having sex with cheaters.

Fair comment ?? But my point was that people could just be kind instead of being so judgemental. No one forces anyone to have sex with anyone, but then again how can anyone be certain that they aren't meeting cheaters, especially when playing in clubs etc"

They cannot. In those situations it's purely down to the cheater's conscience. Personally if I do happen to discover a relationship status, I'll politely refuse their advances.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm one of those singles who could never imagine sharing a future partner with others as it simply doesn't turn me on, and therefore I think I would always be monogamous. However that doesn't mean I don't get swinging, or that I think there's anything wrong with it. I certainly don't judge any couples who do it, on the contrary I applaud anyone who has achieved such a sexual liberation and has a relationship strong enough to handle it.

I realise OP that you said some singles, not all, so I'm just putting my view into the mix

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quite possibly 'most' singles don't understand swinging but no need to discuss opinions. Just have fun. "

When I first started writing in the forums I remember lots of comments about couples' relationships getting on my nerves. Now I just don't care what other people think about Marc and I. We have fun and we're awesome together and we know it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating happens in all areas of life. It's a fact. Sad thing is, I've noticed some couples go around believing their marriage is ideal and their partners would never cheat. Little do they know.

People shouldn't be judged on any of their personal circumstances, regardless of whether they cheat or they don't. People should just be kind to one another as no one knows what personal battles people may be dealing with.

Surely in this day and age it should be a " live and let live " society.

Yes you're right, but my opinion is, cheating is seperate to swinging.

We see swinging as a hobby we do together. It doesn't preclude cheating, if you're going to cheat then you'll cheat regardless.

Some who swing cheat, some don't, some who don't swing cheat, some don't.

It's more a personality thing, but so often we see singles laughing as they've had a message from one of a couple and think it means swinging means cheating.

I suppose that's what prompted this thread, to them it's one and the same but it's really not. "

But I do receive messages from one half of the couple who is clearly cheating...

In my opinion & to avoid any confusion re the cheating aspect it would be easier if the couple who played separately had a singles profile too.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I meet people I avoid asking too many questions because I don't want to know the answer. It's much easier that way.

Quite possibly 'most' singles don't understand swinging but no need to discuss opinions. Just have fun.

Definitely agree.

It's the veiled insults on the forum to couples not being enough for each other that I suppose I'm referring to, as it's rubbish.

There's lots of couples on here that only swing to stop the other person from cheating.

There's loads more couples on here that use swinging to patch up their relationship because without swinging they would have nothing.

There's also lots of couples that swing because it very much enhances their relationship. All true facts.

It's interesting which couples assume general facts are about them. "

Hehe I get your point, but on the other hand, when you have a great relationship it doesn't feel great that others don't believe you because of their assumptions about swinging.

We started swinging 8 weeks into our relationship and are going strong three years later. If one of us hadn't been keen we wouldn't have survived with it being such a new relationship

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rincess peachWoman
over a year ago

shits creek

I'm a single...and I get it.

I am not in a relationship at the moment, but, if/when I make that commitment again I have every intention of continuing my journey as "our journey". As something to be enjoyed and built on together.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'm one of those singles who could never imagine sharing a future partner with others as it simply doesn't turn me on, and therefore I think I would always be monogamous. However that doesn't mean I don't get swinging, or that I think there's anything wrong with it. I certainly don't judge any couples who do it, on the contrary I applaud anyone who has achieved such a sexual liberation and has a relationship strong enough to handle it.

I realise OP that you said some singles, not all, so I'm just putting my view into the mix "

Thanks, we appreciate it's not for everyone

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Quite possibly 'most' singles don't understand swinging but no need to discuss opinions. Just have fun.

When I first started writing in the forums I remember lots of comments about couples' relationships getting on my nerves. Now I just don't care what other people think about Marc and I. We have fun and we're awesome together and we know it. "

Best attitude

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"When I meet people I avoid asking too many questions because I don't want to know the answer. It's much easier that way.

Quite possibly 'most' singles don't understand swinging but no need to discuss opinions. Just have fun.

Definitely agree.

It's the veiled insults on the forum to couples not being enough for each other that I suppose I'm referring to, as it's rubbish.

There's lots of couples on here that only swing to stop the other person from cheating.

There's loads more couples on here that use swinging to patch up their relationship because without swinging they would have nothing.

There's also lots of couples that swing because it very much enhances their relationship. All true facts.

It's interesting which couples assume general facts are about them.

Hehe I get your point, but on the other hand, when you have a great relationship it doesn't feel great that others don't believe you because of their assumptions about swinging.

We started swinging 8 weeks into our relationship and are going strong three years later. If one of us hadn't been keen we wouldn't have survived with it being such a new relationship "

But you yourselves know the truth. Why do you care what strangers think that have no idea about your relationship other than a few forum posts?

All the scenarios I mentioned exist. I don't understand why some couples get annoyed that people think swinging is XYZ when they know what it means to them and it's different.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Cheating happens in all areas of life. It's a fact. Sad thing is, I've noticed some couples go around believing their marriage is ideal and their partners would never cheat. Little do they know.

People shouldn't be judged on any of their personal circumstances, regardless of whether they cheat or they don't. People should just be kind to one another as no one knows what personal battles people may be dealing with.

Surely in this day and age it should be a " live and let live " society.

Yes you're right, but my opinion is, cheating is seperate to swinging.

We see swinging as a hobby we do together. It doesn't preclude cheating, if you're going to cheat then you'll cheat regardless.

Some who swing cheat, some don't, some who don't swing cheat, some don't.

It's more a personality thing, but so often we see singles laughing as they've had a message from one of a couple and think it means swinging means cheating.

I suppose that's what prompted this thread, to them it's one and the same but it's really not.

But I do receive messages from one half of the couple who is clearly cheating...

In my opinion & to avoid any confusion re the cheating aspect it would be easier if the couple who played separately had a singles profile too."

As do we, it happens, a lot!!!

But our point is, they'd cheat anyway regardless of if they're swinging or not. Same as some swingers would never go behind their partners back.

Swinging makes it a bit easier for a cheat I suppose, but wouldn't cause it if they are not inherently predisposed to cheating.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No i can see it from both sides but basicly i think that rightly or wrongly that most couples swing because they arent totaly satisfied with each other in one way or another.

Im glad to say, we arent most couples. Im actually quite surprised by that statement, made on a swinging website.

There's nothing wrong with our marriage sexually or otherwise. But I desire the variety of more than one man, and always have done. Each man is slightly different and it would not be possible to get that from one man alone. So it's not our marriage but it's me.

Mrs

Are you saying you're not totally satisfied with each other then??

"

Yeah interesting question. I guess for both of us one-on-one sex all the time is insufficient for our needs. I would say we are totally satisfied with each other because we have made swinging an integral part of our sex life. But if we were to a remove any part of our sex life that we enjoy together and is important to us, then there would be a gap leading to dissatisfaction.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

From the comments I've read lately it's not only singles that don't get swinging - plenty of couples don't seem to get it either... or maybe people masquerading as couples.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Your OP was quite a sweeping statement there.

Some of us have been in a couple doing this. And chose to go back to it because the lifestyle suits.

I'm kinda bored of the assumption that I'm here to find a boyfriend and then I'll disappear into some happy little loved up life never to be seen again. "

Well said! As a single woman who wholeheartedly embraces swinging, I would like to clarify:

1. I don't need a man at my side to qualify me as 'a swinger'

2. I swing with a large group of single bi women aka unicorns. The collective noun for a group of unicorns is 'a blessing' (pub quiz gold right there) & as the name suggests THEY ARE AWESOME! I can hand on heart say, never once have I been naked amongst their hot, writhing, oiled up bodies & thought "shit! If only I were in a couple...I'm totally missing out on this swinging gig"

3. I & many other singles could quite happily go down the pub or on pof or tinder to get a vanilla jump. Instead we find a platform such as this because we want to explore fantasies,where we can meet like minded kinky misfits, who hopefully don't stand in judgement

Not saying this to have a pop at you OP, but a little less broad brush generalisations please xxx

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"When I meet people I avoid asking too many questions because I don't want to know the answer. It's much easier that way.

Quite possibly 'most' singles don't understand swinging but no need to discuss opinions. Just have fun.

Definitely agree.

It's the veiled insults on the forum to couples not being enough for each other that I suppose I'm referring to, as it's rubbish.

There's lots of couples on here that only swing to stop the other person from cheating.

There's loads more couples on here that use swinging to patch up their relationship because without swinging they would have nothing.

There's also lots of couples that swing because it very much enhances their relationship. All true facts.

It's interesting which couples assume general facts are about them.

Hehe I get your point, but on the other hand, when you have a great relationship it doesn't feel great that others don't believe you because of their assumptions about swinging.

We started swinging 8 weeks into our relationship and are going strong three years later. If one of us hadn't been keen we wouldn't have survived with it being such a new relationship

But you yourselves know the truth. Why do you care what strangers think that have no idea about your relationship other than a few forum posts?

All the scenarios I mentioned exist. I don't understand why some couples get annoyed that people think swinging is XYZ when they know what it means to them and it's different. "

We're not annoyed, it's an interesting subject to discuss in our opinion

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating happens in all areas of life. It's a fact. Sad thing is, I've noticed some couples go around believing their marriage is ideal and their partners would never cheat. Little do they know.

People shouldn't be judged on any of their personal circumstances, regardless of whether they cheat or they don't. People should just be kind to one another as no one knows what personal battles people may be dealing with.

Surely in this day and age it should be a " live and let live " society.

Yes you're right, but my opinion is, cheating is seperate to swinging.

We see swinging as a hobby we do together. It doesn't preclude cheating, if you're going to cheat then you'll cheat regardless.

Some who swing cheat, some don't, some who don't swing cheat, some don't.

It's more a personality thing, but so often we see singles laughing as they've had a message from one of a couple and think it means swinging means cheating.

I suppose that's what prompted this thread, to them it's one and the same but it's really not.

But I do receive messages from one half of the couple who is clearly cheating...

In my opinion & to avoid any confusion re the cheating aspect it would be easier if the couple who played separately had a singles profile too."

I definitely don't see swinging as cheating. They are completely different, but cheating does happen on the swinging scene, wheryher people like it or not.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its a shame that your thread title is so antagonistic as you make some good points in your post...

I "get" swinging. I am single.... I started swinging when I was 23..... (oh the black and white contact mags (with landline numbers!))

but your thread title: "singles don't get swinging"... sorry... don't like.

do what you do; enjoy. peace x

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, your opinion of swinging is not everyone's and nor should it be. What you and they want from swinging is the important thing.

Swinging is what everyone involved is happy with. It can range from a one off frenzy f**k (which is fine) to a long term poly relationship between many people (which is also fine).

Branding singles like you have is wrong. We have met singles and couples who's opinion of swinging has differed vastly from ours. It's thier choice and ultimately our choice whether to play or not.

We prefer poly couple relationships and that's mainly what we look for on here. That said, once in a blue moon we just fancy a one off mmf or mff and this site is great for all of it if you use it well.

We will add that our approach has never led us to a bad meet. A few meets without play yes but more by mutual agreement that we were all happy with.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some singles sure but I feel there are plenty out there who do 'get' it (what is it by the way?...everyone has a slightly different idea of what swinging is)

But there are a lot who would happily move into a swinging relationship and would share partners..

Many couples have formed on here..Every single couple on here were once single too so they must have had some understanding and interest in the lifestyle.

Sure as a single they will have had lots of hook ups but why not until that someone turns up.

I met my gf on here and have both stayed on here, we love sharing each other

Some as you say wouldn't but don't discount all singles..they're our future swinging couples

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inkySlinkyCouple
over a year ago

Leeds


"

If we decided to give up the swinging lifestyle we would do in a second and still love each other and have a fulfilling sex life.

Swinging *enhances* it, but isn't the be all and end all.

Using the same logic you could say that couples who enjoy socialising down the pub are not satisfied by their own company. "

I think this is an excellent response

Sally

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After reading various posts on the forum recently we've realised that there's a huge difference between couples and singles perceptions of swinging.

Couples generally enjoy swinging together as an enhancement of their relationship. We understand this completely as it's what we do it, however there are many singles on here for NSA sex who just don't get it.

Yes we understand that monogamy is the norm, and many singles in here wouldn't want to swing with a partner because of jealousy issues, but that's no reason to dismiss couples that do like to share.

We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

Everyone is different. Are people so close minded that they they think their way is the only way?

Is your last sentence supposed to be ironic "

This

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners


"After reading various posts on the forum recently we've realised that there's a huge difference between couples and singles perceptions of swinging.

Couples generally enjoy swinging together as an enhancement of their relationship. We understand this completely as it's what we do it, however there are many singles on here for NSA sex who just don't get it.

Yes we understand that monogamy is the norm, and many singles in here wouldn't want to swing with a partner because of jealousy issues, but that's no reason to dismiss couples that do like to share.

We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

Everyone is different. Are people so close minded that they they think their way is the only way?

"

Swinging is whatever you perceive it to be, just because one person's perception of swinging is different to another's doesn't make theirs wrong and yours right. They havent had your experiences as you haven't had theirs so who is anyone to judge?

Swinging could be considered the openness of a couple to sexual experimentation.

Swinging could be a word used to enable 'couples' to objectify and utilize singles for their own benefit.

Being a Swinger to me is generally a label used to define anyone, single or otherwise, that wishes to show an open-minded curiosity for sexual experimentation. Of course everyone has their limitations and such within that.

I wouldn't call myself a true swinger, i think the label is far too specific, and the calibre of people who go out to prove they are a 'true swinger' aren't to my taste.

''Put that ego, and overcompensation for your insecurities in a draw love, relax and enjoy yourself''

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Single's see 'swinging' as purely hook-ups. I know, I've been there.

Couples usually (not always) see swinging as an extension to their lifestyle, to complement their relationship, have fun and perhaps widen their social scene.

There's a whole lot of suckin'n'fuckin' in both scenarios, it's just that with couples it's a bit more nuanced!"

Let's not speak for all single people eh. Just because you were one, doesn't mean you know how we all think and behave. You can't even speak for couples, as not all couples are the same or here for the same as you.

Some of us "get" swinging, you know.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"I think nowadays the site has become a version of tin der for singles and fab swingers for couples. Singles are generally here to find a fuck as oppose to (like the OP said) enhance their relationship."

That could be because singles aren't in a relationship so don't have one to enhance?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Your OP was quite a sweeping statement there.

Some of us have been in a couple doing this. And chose to go back to it because the lifestyle suits.

I'm kinda bored of the assumption that I'm here to find a boyfriend and then I'll disappear into some happy little loved up life never to be seen again.

Well said! As a single woman who wholeheartedly embraces swinging, I would like to clarify:

1. I don't need a man at my side to qualify me as 'a swinger'

2. I swing with a large group of single bi women aka unicorns. The collective noun for a group of unicorns is 'a blessing' (pub quiz gold right there) & as the name suggests THEY ARE AWESOME! I can hand on heart say, never once have I been naked amongst their hot, writhing, oiled up bodies & thought "shit! If only I were in a couple...I'm totally missing out on this swinging gig"

3. I & many other singles could quite happily go down the pub or on pof or tinder to get a vanilla jump. Instead we find a platform such as this because we want to explore fantasies,where we can meet like minded kinky misfits, who hopefully don't stand in judgement

Not saying this to have a pop at you OP, but a little less broad brush generalisations please xxx"

This is a perfect response, excellently worded

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What other things are allowed to be whatever I perceive them to be?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham


"Single's see 'swinging' as purely hook-ups. I know, I've been there.

Couples usually (not always) see swinging as an extension to their lifestyle, to complement their relationship, have fun and perhaps widen their social scene.

There's a whole lot of suckin'n'fuckin' in both scenarios, it's just that with couples it's a bit more nuanced!

Let's not speak for all single people eh. Just because you were one, doesn't mean you know how we all think and behave. You can't even speak for couples, as not all couples are the same or here for the same as you.

Some of us "get" swinging, you know. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton

I don't understand your logic for the post.

Couples swing to enhance their relationship because they're a couple.

Singles don't get swinging because they are single. It's more NSA.

Yep. That's pretty much it..........

Apologies for having an opinion.

Kindest regards.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life."

I wouldn't sky dive from a plane but I get why people do it.

I can also understand why some people don't want to do it.

I wouldn't automatically assume my new partner and I would jump straight into it.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *he horny kinkstersCouple
over a year ago

North West


"No i can see it from both sides but basicly i think that rightly or wrongly that most couples swing because they arent totaly satisfied with each other in one way or another."

Utter piffle!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think nowadays the site has become a version of tin der for singles and fab swingers for couples. Singles are generally here to find a fuck as oppose to (like the OP said) enhance their relationship.

That could be because singles aren't in a relationship so don't have one to enhance? "

I'm enhancing my sex life, the same as I would if I were here as a couple. My relationship would be ok thanks, it wouldn't need enhancing.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

I wouldn't sky dive from a plane but I get why people do it.

I can also understand why some people don't want to do it.

I wouldn't automatically assume my new partner and I would jump straight into it. "

But if you 'got it' you'd never make the claim that you'd never do it given that such a thought probably applied to the vast majority of people who do it!

And why do people skydive?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners


"What other things are allowed to be whatever I perceive them to be? "

anything... The world is a mish mash of concepts and ideologies, nothing is a fact.

Often get the use of science to prove fact exists, but at the end of the day science is a mish-mash of peoples observations on a set experiment... Quantum theory completely undermines science because the act of observation has an affect on the outcome. So what is fact?

Choose carefully which concepts you invest your time and energy into... or If you really want to go hard. see everything as pointless bullshit and live life in the now :D

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't understand your logic for the post.

Couples swing to enhance their relationship because they're a couple.

Singles don't get swinging because they are single. It's more NSA.

Yep. That's pretty much it..........

Apologies for having an opinion.

Kindest regards. "

Lol the point of the forums is for opinions if you didn't realise

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life."

If I met someone I probably wouldn't do it. But I get it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

If I met someone I probably wouldn't do it. But I get it"

No you don't. (See above)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"No i can see it from both sides but basicly i think that rightly or wrongly that most couples swing because they arent totaly satisfied with each other in one way or another.

Utter piffle!"

Entitled to your opinion, and plenty of people will disagree with you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm here because I've done the relationship and marriage thing and now like meeting like minded people who are at ease with their sexual needs and are happy to chat go for a drink or just plain get down and dirty

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

And why do people skydive?"

Fuck knows. I wouldn't

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

If I met someone I probably wouldn't do it. But I get it

No you don't. (See above)"

Can you explain why they don't get it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"What other things are allowed to be whatever I perceive them to be?

anything... The world is a mish mash of concepts and ideologies, nothing is a fact.

Often get the use of science to prove fact exists, but at the end of the day science is a mish-mash of peoples observations on a set experiment... Quantum theory completely undermines science because the act of observation has an affect on the outcome. So what is fact?

Choose carefully which concepts you invest your time and energy into... or If you really want to go hard. see everything as pointless bullshit and live life in the now :D "

Thanks, I feel enriched.

Or maybe that's just my perception of enrichment. Oh no, now I'm perceiving a sense of bullshit. Oh damn

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

And why do people skydive?

Fuck knows. I wouldn't "

Stupidity obviously.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just to throw my hat into the ring, I'm a single guy who plays with both single f and couples, but having been around the scene for a couple of months now, is actively pursuing a suitable buddy to couple up with to play as a couple.

And before you ask, I do get the reasoning behind why couples swing, but also are one of the odd few single guys that actually understands the dynamic of why they may want to bring the extra guy or girl into the equation.

However it's all a matter of knowing what each other is looking for and being patient, instead of just expecting it's going to happen straight away, which is where many single guys get it totally wrong,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

If I met someone I probably wouldn't do it. But I get it

No you don't. (See above)

Can you explain why they don't get it."

I already did... (it's still above)

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By *nFairnessMan
over a year ago

The Four Corners


"What other things are allowed to be whatever I perceive them to be?

anything... The world is a mish mash of concepts and ideologies, nothing is a fact.

Often get the use of science to prove fact exists, but at the end of the day science is a mish-mash of peoples observations on a set experiment... Quantum theory completely undermines science because the act of observation has an affect on the outcome. So what is fact?

Choose carefully which concepts you invest your time and energy into... or If you really want to go hard. see everything as pointless bullshit and live life in the now :D

Thanks, I feel enriched.

Or maybe that's just my perception of enrichment. Oh no, now I'm perceiving a sense of bullshit. Oh damn "

Lmao :P feeling rather than thinking now you are geting it 3

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life."

This is pretty much what i meant in the op but you put it so much more succinctly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i am a genuinely single woman and for me it is the experiences of swinging that i am after.It is not notches on my bed. I have done a few 121s with men and had even gotten a regular playmate with whom i was looking for a couple for us to do same room swap with so both of us could experience another aspect of swinging. He had joined a couple before i met him so had an idea. As a singleton on here i do fel i am missing out on true swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

If I met someone I probably wouldn't do it. But I get it

No you don't. (See above)"

No I really do. See my first post. Tell me what I'm not getting??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

I wouldn't sky dive from a plane but I get why people do it.

I can also understand why some people don't want to do it.

I wouldn't automatically assume my new partner and I would jump straight into it.

But if you 'got it' you'd never make the claim that you'd never do it given that such a thought probably applied to the vast majority of people who do it!

And why do people skydive?"

I had a husband for 30 years. Swinging wasn't something we were interested in. I still get why some people do it and others don't.

You don't seem to "get" that.

If I did have another relationship who's to say we wouldn't meet other couples for sex? I do know that it wouldn't be because we didn't satisfy each other.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

also for me. yes i may take a leave of absence but i know it is my lifestyle choice now. if i met a guy he would need to accept that and even better still join me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

If I met someone I probably wouldn't do it. But I get it

No you don't. (See above)

No I really do. See my first post. Tell me what I'm not getting?? "

That probably most couples who swing never envisaged doing so when they first met.

If you got it you'd be aware to that.

Instead if you're here and you still claim you'd never do it if you became a couple, that suggests you consider it as something beneath you (if you were in a relationship), something sordid.

You either lack understanding or you lack respect for those who do it. You don't get it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At the end of the day opinions are like arseholes -everyone has one lol and no one will agree on this subject

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a long term regular partner who I adore and vice versa. Ok, we aren't in a committed relationship or living together, but we have a great sex life. I enjoy hearing about who else he's having sex with. If we ever did end up in a relationship we would probably still see others, together.

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By *icassolifelikeMan
over a year ago

Luton


"I don't understand your logic for the post.

Couples swing to enhance their relationship because they're a couple.

Singles don't get swinging because they are single. It's more NSA.

Yep. That's pretty much it..........

Apologies for having an opinion.

Kindest regards.

Lol the point of the forums is for opinions if you didn't realise "

I thought you were going to shout at me and call me names if I just said it.

I get what you're saying now.

My opinion (again!!) is putting it into its basic component parts. It's just sex. Whether you're a single or a couple or a ménage a trois, or pre arranged hookups down your local green grocers. It's sex. Nothing more, nothing less.

So it's all the same! And all good!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

I wouldn't sky dive from a plane but I get why people do it.

I can also understand why some people don't want to do it.

I wouldn't automatically assume my new partner and I would jump straight into it.

But if you 'got it' you'd never make the claim that you'd never do it given that such a thought probably applied to the vast majority of people who do it!

And why do people skydive?

I had a husband for 30 years. Swinging wasn't something we were interested in. I still get why some people do it and others don't.

You don't seem to "get" that.

If I did have another relationship who's to say we wouldn't meet other couples for sex? I do know that it wouldn't be because we didn't satisfy each other. "

You're arguing points that were never made.

What would suggest I don't get couples who don't swing?! Weirdly enough I expect that's the case for most I know!

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"

And why do people skydive?

Fuck knows. I wouldn't "

Ooh, Ooh, I actually know the answer to this one:

"Because thats what people do... they leap and hope to God they can fly! Because otherwise, we just drop like a rock... wondering the whole way down..."why in the hell did I jump?" But here I am Sarah, falling. And there's only one person that makes me feel like I can fly... That's Mrs ddc."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

If I met someone I probably wouldn't do it. But I get it

No you don't. (See above)

No I really do. See my first post. Tell me what I'm not getting??

That probably most couples who swing never envisaged doing so when they first met.

If you got it you'd be aware to that.

Instead if you're here and you still claim you'd never do it if you became a couple, that suggests you consider it as something beneath you (if you were in a relationship), something sordid.

You either lack understanding or you lack respect for those who do it. You don't get it."

Just to clarify, I've not said I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't assume it would happen either.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

If I met someone I probably wouldn't do it. But I get it

No you don't. (See above)

No I really do. See my first post. Tell me what I'm not getting??

That probably most couples who swing never envisaged doing so when they first met.

If you got it you'd be aware to that.

Instead if you're here and you still claim you'd never do it if you became a couple, that suggests you consider it as something beneath you (if you were in a relationship), something sordid.

You either lack understanding or you lack respect for those who do it. You don't get it."

If you actually read what I wrote I said I can't imagine myself doing it, and that I probably wouldn't, not that I never would.

I certainly do not think its beneath me or lack respect for anyone who does it, if you bothered to read what I wrote rather than make judgements about me you would know that.

I think it's clear here who gets what

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

I wouldn't sky dive from a plane but I get why people do it.

I can also understand why some people don't want to do it.

I wouldn't automatically assume my new partner and I would jump straight into it.

But if you 'got it' you'd never make the claim that you'd never do it given that such a thought probably applied to the vast majority of people who do it!

And why do people skydive?

I had a husband for 30 years. Swinging wasn't something we were interested in. I still get why some people do it and others don't.

You don't seem to "get" that.

If I did have another relationship who's to say we wouldn't meet other couples for sex? I do know that it wouldn't be because we didn't satisfy each other.

You're arguing points that were never made.

What would suggest I don't get couples who don't swing?! Weirdly enough I expect that's the case for most I know! "

Ok, forgetting about couples,you don't get that some single people do get why couples swing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

If I met someone I probably wouldn't do it. But I get it

No you don't. (See above)

No I really do. See my first post. Tell me what I'm not getting??

That probably most couples who swing never envisaged doing so when they first met.

If you got it you'd be aware to that.

Instead if you're here and you still claim you'd never do it if you became a couple, that suggests you consider it as something beneath you (if you were in a relationship), something sordid.

You either lack understanding or you lack respect for those who do it. You don't get it.

Just to clarify, I've not said I wouldn't do it. I wouldn't assume it would happen either. "

OK - the 'I probably wouldn't do it' was just to poke the shitty stick

Well done.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" get that some single people do get why couples swing. "

You can put the shitty stick away now...

But yes, we know plenty. They weren't discussed here. Want to argue about parachutes?...

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By *ostafunMan
over a year ago

near ipswich

Well I'm single and have made some great friends swinging its not just about sex its about having a good time we go out together drinking having a laugh and being to talk about likeminded things such as swinging then end up having fun,can't do that with my non swinging friends.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" get that some single people do get why couples swing.

You can put the shitty stick away now...

But yes, we know plenty. They weren't discussed here. Want to argue about parachutes?..."

Lol you're funny. I'll leave you to your musings.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

I wouldn't sky dive from a plane but I get why people do it.

I can also understand why some people don't want to do it.

I wouldn't automatically assume my new partner and I would jump straight into it.

But if you 'got it' you'd never make the claim that you'd never do it given that such a thought probably applied to the vast majority of people who do it!

And why do people skydive?"

i get the some people enjoy anal sex. it does nothing for me personally.

i get that loads of couples are looking for ffm, and since i changed my name to 3sum queen the amount of couples viewing my profile has gone up considerably. but i'm not into women, they do nothing for me and sharing a cock with someone else does nothing for me either. so although i enjoy two guys sharing me and know how amazing that is, i do kind of get how an ffm would feel for someone bisexual or into women at least, but i have tried one and it was crap so i wouldn't do it again.

loads of people don't get loads of things and make presumptions. being vague with answers won't help anyone to understand (and is why you see loads of guys moaning about not getting replies coz they wanna understand why nobody wants to fuck them).

i know what i like, i get other people sometimes - not gonna understand everyone but people who feel the same as me i can relate things i like to why they like it too, but i know i wouldn't swap partners, the idea turns me right off. i've even been in a long term relationship where we had great sex for over 10 years, but other people would think that sex wasn't so great or boring but it did it for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Well I'm single and have made some great friends swinging its not just about sex its about having a good time we go out together drinking having a laugh and being to talk about likeminded things such as swinging then end up having fun,can't do that with my non swinging friends. "

But, if you got yourself a wife would you be happy to swap with another couple?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I don't understand your logic for the post.

Couples swing to enhance their relationship because they're a couple.

Singles don't get swinging because they are single. It's more NSA.

Yep. That's pretty much it..........

Apologies for having an opinion.

Kindest regards.

Lol the point of the forums is for opinions if you didn't realise

I thought you were going to shout at me and call me names if I just said it.

I get what you're saying now.

My opinion (again!!) is putting it into its basic component parts. It's just sex. Whether you're a single or a couple or a ménage a trois, or pre arranged hookups down your local green grocers. It's sex. Nothing more, nothing less.

So it's all the same! And all good! "

Haha nope, not going to shout at you

I agree with most people on here, but still maintain there is a minority? Majority? Who knows, a group of singles, who feel that couples swing because there is a problem in their relationship.

There may be a problem in some relationships, there isn't in all.

I've also seen a lot of post recently discussing couples playing behind their partners back, saying how common it is, and implying its normal for most swingers. I don't think it is, it's going to happen of course, but not every couple will be the same, i just wanted to give another side to it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating happens in all areas of life. It's a fact. Sad thing is, I've noticed some couples go around believing their marriage is ideal and their partners would never cheat. Little do they know.

People shouldn't be judged on any of their personal circumstances, regardless of whether they cheat or they don't. People should just be kind to one another as no one knows what personal battles people may be dealing with.

Surely in this day and age it should be a " live and let live " society.

Yes you're right, but my opinion is, cheating is seperate to swinging.

We see swinging as a hobby we do together. It doesn't preclude cheating, if you're going to cheat then you'll cheat regardless.

Some who swing cheat, some don't, some who don't swing cheat, some don't.

It's more a personality thing, but so often we see singles laughing as they've had a message from one of a couple and think it means swinging means cheating.

I suppose that's what prompted this thread, to them it's one and the same but it's really not. "
Are you making this up as your going along..Are you saying your looking for meets behind your partners back?

Either way its reading as a statement being retracted in portions every time a forum regular picks you up on something

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i'm also not voyeuristic, watching someone fuck my partner would do nothing for me. watching a guy suck his cock would, but i love oral and find only men sexy.

i think, coz most of us are older and probably tried everything by now, or at least thought about it, thanks to this site and similar, that we just know what appeals to us and what doesn't.

doesn't mean we look down on people for doing stuff we don't enjoy and think we wouldn't want to try out. just means we know what we like and what turns us off.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"i'm also not voyeuristic, watching someone fuck my partner would do nothing for me. watching a guy suck his cock would, but i love oral and find only men sexy.

i think, coz most of us are older and probably tried everything by now, or at least thought about it, thanks to this site and similar, that we just know what appeals to us and what doesn't.

doesn't mean we look down on people for doing stuff we don't enjoy and think we wouldn't want to try out. just means we know what we like and what turns us off.

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Cheating happens in all areas of life. It's a fact. Sad thing is, I've noticed some couples go around believing their marriage is ideal and their partners would never cheat. Little do they know.

People shouldn't be judged on any of their personal circumstances, regardless of whether they cheat or they don't. People should just be kind to one another as no one knows what personal battles people may be dealing with.

Surely in this day and age it should be a " live and let live " society.

Yes you're right, but my opinion is, cheating is seperate to swinging.

We see swinging as a hobby we do together. It doesn't preclude cheating, if you're going to cheat then you'll cheat regardless.

Some who swing cheat, some don't, some who don't swing cheat, some don't.

It's more a personality thing, but so often we see singles laughing as they've had a message from one of a couple and think it means swinging means cheating.

I suppose that's what prompted this thread, to them it's one and the same but it's really not. Are you making this up as your going along..Are you saying your looking for meets behind your partners back?

Either way its reading as a statement being retracted in portions every time a forum regular picks you up on something "

Huh? Maybe its the couple of G&T's I've had but how are you getting that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't know what constitutes 'older' but I'm old enough to know that our sexual tastes/kinks/preferences change frequently.

It's a large part of why we're here. If we only ever liked the same thing then most probably we wouldn't be.

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By *xyzptlk088Man
over a year ago

Galway

Just another "we swing as a couple aren't we the shizz and singles suck" post,love that you don't get the irony of the final sentence in your original post even though it is pointed out to you but then what do I know as I am a mere single and I apparently don't get it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't know what constitutes 'older' but I'm old enough to know that our sexual tastes/kinks/preferences change frequently.

It's a large part of why we're here. If we only ever liked the same thing then most probably we wouldn't be."

more sexually experienced might have been the appropriate words rather than older.

i like experimenting, it lets me know what i enjoy and what i don't.

i don't enjoy another woman being there. if someone i was with wanted to bring another woman into our relationship that'd be a right downer for me and i would find nothing about that sexually exciting whatsoever, even if he did it away from me he wouldn't be able to share that with me because i wouldn't wanna know. and the whole point in having a partner is to share experiences with them, so i know already that a swinging relationship would do nothing for me.

bringing men into the equation would do it for me. a cuckold guy would totally do it for me. so i'm happy to carry on having the 3sums with 2 men for now, co i don't even like 1 on 1 NSA any more, i could do 1 on 1 in a relationship with someone who cares about me, but not for swinging. so yeah i get that people change but if someone doesn't like something and has tried it then it's highly unlikely they'll seek that out again. i have had more than 1 female experience, not really enjoyed them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just another "we swing as a couple aren't we the shizz and singles suck" post,love that you don't get the irony of the final sentence in your original post even though it is pointed out to you but then what do I know as I am a mere single and I apparently don't get it "

No irony. You obviously don't get what I'm saying. Singles dont suck at all, we meet them and love it :D

We have no problem with singles being on here for nsa sex. My point is that they often assume couples are doing it because theres a problem in their relationship, and say they wouldnt do it if they were in a relationship, they dont understand its precisely because couples have a good relationship they can do this.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

With respect, I see just as many couples making those kind of suggestions, and a fair few proving it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"With respect, I see just as many couples making those kind of suggestions, and a fair few proving it."

You're probably right, but for us it's mainly singles we've seen make comments, hence my post

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else


"With respect, I see just as many couples making those kind of suggestions, and a fair few proving it.

You're probably right, but for us it's mainly singles we've seen make comments, hence my post "

I've reread the OP and have an answer.

Yes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici "

this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just another "we swing as a couple aren't we the shizz and singles suck" post,love that you don't get the irony of the final sentence in your original post even though it is pointed out to you but then what do I know as I am a mere single and I apparently don't get it

No irony. You obviously don't get what I'm saying. Singles dont suck at all, we meet them and love it :D

We have no problem with singles being on here for nsa sex. My point is that they often assume couples are doing it because theres a problem in their relationship, and say they wouldnt do it if they were in a relationship, they dont understand its precisely because couples have a good relationship they can do this.

"

I genuinely believe you are over thinking it; I hate to say this; but it probably needs saying; 99% of singles couldn't give a rats arse why you swing... sorry.....

The fact that 1% may make a snide remark... meh, be a single guy 50% of the users believe we are married.......

there are no snowflakes on fab... just people that meet other people for sex... and hardly anyone cares why.... sorry.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just another "we swing as a couple aren't we the shizz and singles suck" post,love that you don't get the irony of the final sentence in your original post even though it is pointed out to you but then what do I know as I am a mere single and I apparently don't get it

No irony. You obviously don't get what I'm saying. Singles dont suck at all, we meet them and love it :D

We have no problem with singles being on here for nsa sex. My point is that they often assume couples are doing it because theres a problem in their relationship, and say they wouldnt do it if they were in a relationship, they dont understand its precisely because couples have a good relationship they can do this.

"

I think those are two entirely separate 'groups' though; people who say they wouldn't necessarily swing if they were in a relationship can still understand and respect those that do, whereas people who say couples only do it because their relationship is flawed quite clearly are missing the point of swinging.

I don't think it's fair to lump everyone together like that

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"After reading various posts on the forum recently we've realised that there's a huge difference between couples and singles perceptions of swinging.

Couples generally enjoy swinging together as an enhancement of their relationship. We understand this completely as it's what we do it, however there are many singles on here for NSA sex who just don't get it.

Yes we understand that monogamy is the norm, and many singles in here wouldn't want to swing with a partner because of jealousy issues, but that's no reason to dismiss couples that do like to share.

We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

Everyone is different. Are people so close minded that they they think their way is the only way?

Is your last sentence supposed to be ironic "

And this

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici

this "

If you read my op I say many singles not all singles!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Just another "we swing as a couple aren't we the shizz and singles suck" post,love that you don't get the irony of the final sentence in your original post even though it is pointed out to you but then what do I know as I am a mere single and I apparently don't get it

No irony. You obviously don't get what I'm saying. Singles dont suck at all, we meet them and love it :D

We have no problem with singles being on here for nsa sex. My point is that they often assume couples are doing it because theres a problem in their relationship, and say they wouldnt do it if they were in a relationship, they dont understand its precisely because couples have a good relationship they can do this.

I think those are two entirely separate 'groups' though; people who say they wouldn't necessarily swing if they were in a relationship can still understand and respect those that do, whereas people who say couples only do it because their relationship is flawed quite clearly are missing the point of swinging.

I don't think it's fair to lump everyone together like that

"

I'm not, where did i say everyone?

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici

this

If you read my op I say many singles not all singles!"

if you read your thread title "Singles don't get swinging" it would seem a generalisation.....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *rimo4uMan
over a year ago

north kensington w10


"After reading various posts on the forum recently we've realised that there's a huge difference between couples and singles perceptions of swinging.

Couples generally enjoy swinging together as an enhancement of their relationship. We understand this completely as it's what we do it, however there are many singles on here for NSA sex who just don't get it.

Yes we understand that monogamy is the norm, and many singles in here wouldn't want to swing with a partner because of jealousy issues, but that's no reason to dismiss couples that do like to share.

We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

Everyone is different. Are people so close minded that they they think their way is the only way?

"

It's my way or the highway!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"After reading various posts on the forum recently we've realised that there's a huge difference between couples and singles perceptions of swinging.

Couples generally enjoy swinging together as an enhancement of their relationship. We understand this completely as it's what we do it, however there are many singles on here for NSA sex who just don't get it.

Yes we understand that monogamy is the norm, and many singles in here wouldn't want to swing with a partner because of jealousy issues, but that's no reason to dismiss couples that do like to share.

We have seen guys who happily meet couples but say they would never share a partner.

We have seen people cheating on a spouse but would hate their spouse to be doing the same.

We have seen people cheating and wishing their spouse would join in.

Everyone is different. Are people so close minded that they they think their way is the only way?

Is your last sentence supposed to be ironic

And this "

How is it ironic?

Where have i said the scenarios i mention are wrong and that our way is the only way? You are making assumptions.

It's a point for discussion based on us seeing the views of MANY singles, not ALL.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici

this

If you read my op I say many singles not all singles!

if you read your thread title "Singles don't get swinging" it would seem a generalisation....."

I seem to be repeating myself a lot but you are obviously not reading my replies, in the post i said many singles not all

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm not, where did i say everyone? "

Here


" My point is that they often assume couples are doing it because theres a problem in their relationship, and say they wouldnt do it if they were in a relationship, they dont understand its precisely because couples have a good relationship they can do this. "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici

this

If you read my op I say many singles not all singles!

if you read your thread title "Singles don't get swinging" it would seem a generalisation.....

I seem to be repeating myself a lot but you are obviously not reading my replies, in the post i said many singles not all

"

So if I had made a thread entitled "Swinging Couples are in bad relationships" and then went on to say "SOME couples use swinging in an attempt to fix their fucked up marriage" what would you have picked up on... the thread title or the "some couples"?

Honest answer... no cheating

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And here


"The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

This is pretty much what i meant in the op but you put it so much more succinctly "

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Cheating happens in all areas of life. It's a fact. Sad thing is, I've noticed some couples go around believing their marriage is ideal and their partners would never cheat. Little do they know.

People shouldn't be judged on any of their personal circumstances, regardless of whether they cheat or they don't. People should just be kind to one another as no one knows what personal battles people may be dealing with.

Surely in this day and age it should be a " live and let live " society.

Yes you're right, but my opinion is, cheating is seperate to swinging.

We see swinging as a hobby we do together. It doesn't preclude cheating, if you're going to cheat then you'll cheat regardless.

Some who swing cheat, some don't, some who don't swing cheat, some don't.

It's more a personality thing, but so often we see singles laughing as they've had a message from one of a couple and think it means swinging means cheating.

I suppose that's what prompted this thread, to them it's one and the same but it's really not. Are you making this up as your going along..Are you saying your looking for meets behind your partners back?

Either way its reading as a statement being retracted in portions every time a forum regular picks you up on something

Huh? Maybe its the couple of G&T's I've had but how are you getting that? "
Simply by reading the thread and trying hard to work out what your going on about...Your explanations change everytime a forum regular picks a bone out of it

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just another "we swing as a couple aren't we the shizz and singles suck" post,love that you don't get the irony of the final sentence in your original post even though it is pointed out to you but then what do I know as I am a mere single and I apparently don't get it

No irony. You obviously don't get what I'm saying. Singles dont suck at all, we meet them and love it :D

We have no problem with singles being on here for nsa sex. My point is that they often assume couples are doing it because theres a problem in their relationship, and say they wouldnt do it if they were in a relationship, they dont understand its precisely because couples have a good relationship they can do this.

I genuinely believe you are over thinking it; I hate to say this; but it probably needs saying; 99% of singles couldn't give a rats arse why you swing... sorry.....

The fact that 1% may make a snide remark... meh, be a single guy 50% of the users believe we are married.......

there are no snowflakes on fab... just people that meet other people for sex... and hardly anyone cares why.... sorry."

In our experience and interpretation of what we see on Fab, there is a percentage of men who want NSA sex in whatever form they can get, and have no interest in the needs of the couple. There is another percentage (I suspect small, but prepared to be wrong) who love playing with a couple or having some kind of input in a couple's sex life. Of the group who enjoy couple play, a percentage of them would do the same if they were part of a couple, but a percentage wouldn't and just don't really relate to why couples do this. This summary is very basic and I'm sure there are other categories. But this is just our thought process when considering single men to join us.

Mrs

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And here

The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

This is pretty much what i meant in the op but you put it so much more succinctly "

"The"

Note 'the'.

It acknowledges there are plenty of others who do get it but that the debate references the ones who don't!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

I'm not, where did i say everyone?

Here

My point is that they often assume couples are doing it because theres a problem in their relationship, and say they wouldnt do it if they were in a relationship, they dont understand its precisely because couples have a good relationship they can do this. "

Am i missing something??

I said often assume, not always assume.

You can read what i said any way you like, but the fact is i have no problem witn anyone playing how they like, i was making the observation that some singles make assumptions about couples that swing.

I still think it, no apologies for my opinion.

After having occasional rude messages from singles calling me a slag for fucking other guys when i have a partner, after they've been turned down, , it's pretty clear what SOME not ALL singles views are

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *edylogosMan
over a year ago

wolverhampton

Jane I have to say you look a lot like someone I used to work with interesting topic though.

I would say singles and couples are looking for different things, I personally love group sex! Hence why I'm more than happy to meet couples!

However I get how some people just want the female/male half of the situation

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici

this

If you read my op I say many singles not all singles!

if you read your thread title "Singles don't get swinging" it would seem a generalisation.....

I seem to be repeating myself a lot but you are obviously not reading my replies, in the post i said many singles not all

So if I had made a thread entitled "Swinging Couples are in bad relationships" and then went on to say "SOME couples use swinging in an attempt to fix their fucked up marriage" what would you have picked up on... the thread title or the "some couples"?

Honest answer... no cheating "

I'd have commented on the full post, the title of a thread is often a short version

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici

this

If you read my op I say many singles not all singles!"
No ...it says singles...it changed to "most" singles once you were challenged over the comment

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And here

The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

This is pretty much what i meant in the op but you put it so much more succinctly

"The"

Note 'the'.

It acknowledges there are plenty of others who do get it but that the debate references the ones who don't! "

Oh so when you went on to say I lacked understanding and respect you didn't mean me, you meant generally? Oh, right, yeah

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

i do what i want, whatever anyone calls it..sick to the back teeth with labels, expectations and rules

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just another "we swing as a couple aren't we the shizz and singles suck" post,love that you don't get the irony of the final sentence in your original post even though it is pointed out to you but then what do I know as I am a mere single and I apparently don't get it

No irony. You obviously don't get what I'm saying. Singles dont suck at all, we meet them and love it :D

We have no problem with singles being on here for nsa sex. My point is that they often assume couples are doing it because theres a problem in their relationship, and say they wouldnt do it if they were in a relationship, they dont understand its precisely because couples have a good relationship they can do this.

I genuinely believe you are over thinking it; I hate to say this; but it probably needs saying; 99% of singles couldn't give a rats arse why you swing... sorry.....

The fact that 1% may make a snide remark... meh, be a single guy 50% of the users believe we are married.......

there are no snowflakes on fab... just people that meet other people for sex... and hardly anyone cares why.... sorry.

In our experience and interpretation of what we see on Fab, there is a percentage of men who want NSA sex in whatever form they can get, and have no interest in the needs of the couple. There is another percentage (I suspect small, but prepared to be wrong) who love playing with a couple or having some kind of input in a couple's sex life. Of the group who enjoy couple play, a percentage of them would do the same if they were part of a couple, but a percentage wouldn't and just don't really relate to why couples do this. This summary is very basic and I'm sure there are other categories. But this is just our thought process when considering single men to join us.

Mrs"

doesn't negate what I have said; the singles may enjoy sharing in your fantasy, be active in it and become more friendly; but 99% couldn't care WHY you do it... because it really isn't part of their dynamic; when I meet a couple (and I have met a few) we talk about the dynamic; what is acceptable and what isn't; where the boundaries lie... I don't want to know their motivation behind it; I just want to know what will cause them to have a good time; because quid pro quo I will have a good time too... I don't need to know the motivation; just the desire....

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"And here

The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

This is pretty much what i meant in the op but you put it so much more succinctly "

THE singles that say this, not ALL sngles say this. Really? Can you not see it??

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici

this

If you read my op I say many singles not all singles!

if you read your thread title "Singles don't get swinging" it would seem a generalisation.....

I seem to be repeating myself a lot but you are obviously not reading my replies, in the post i said many singles not all

So if I had made a thread entitled "Swinging Couples are in bad relationships" and then went on to say "SOME couples use swinging in an attempt to fix their fucked up marriage" what would you have picked up on... the thread title or the "some couples"?

Honest answer... no cheating

I'd have commented on the full post, the title of a thread is often a short version "

you couldn't have added "most" to the title...? obvious click bait is obvious...

as I say, I don't speak on behalf of all singles; but I can guess that most if not nearly all, don't care why you swing.... sorry. They certainly don't need to be told "they don't get it", they "don't have to get it" it isn't their dynamic...

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And here

The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

This is pretty much what i meant in the op but you put it so much more succinctly

"The"

Note 'the'.

It acknowledges there are plenty of others who do get it but that the debate references the ones who don't!

Oh so when you went on to say I lacked understanding and respect you didn't mean me, you meant generally? Oh, right, yeah"

No - I meant you. I've been clear throughout.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

some singles, and some couples, have a different view of what swinging comprises of in the view of others.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

I'm not, where did i say everyone?

Here

My point is that they often assume couples are doing it because theres a problem in their relationship, and say they wouldnt do it if they were in a relationship, they dont understand its precisely because couples have a good relationship they can do this.

Am i missing something??

I said often assume, not always assume.

You can read what i said any way you like, but the fact is i have no problem witn anyone playing how they like, i was making the observation that some singles make assumptions about couples that swing.

I still think it, no apologies for my opinion.

After having occasional rude messages from singles calling me a slag for fucking other guys when i have a partner, after they've been turned down, , it's pretty clear what SOME not ALL singles views are

"

Maybe I'm misreading an entire thread then, but it seems like at various points it's been stated, not only by you, that singles who wouldn't swing if they were in a relationship don't 'get it', despite many singles on this thread remarking to the contrary and being very respectful towards the lifestyle (apart from one commenter)

For the record, I find it appalling that you would receive messages like that, especially on here. I think it's great that you've found what works for you as a couple

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici

this

If you read my op I say many singles not all singles!No ...it says singles...it changed to "most" singles once you were challenged over the comment"

In my first post i said many singles.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And here

The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

This is pretty much what i meant in the op but you put it so much more succinctly

"The"

Note 'the'.

It acknowledges there are plenty of others who do get it but that the debate references the ones who don't!

Oh so when you went on to say I lacked understanding and respect you didn't mean me, you meant generally? Oh, right, yeah

No - I meant you. I've been clear throughout."

And as I said, it's clear who doesn't get it here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just another "we swing as a couple aren't we the shizz and singles suck" post,love that you don't get the irony of the final sentence in your original post even though it is pointed out to you but then what do I know as I am a mere single and I apparently don't get it

No irony. You obviously don't get what I'm saying. Singles dont suck at all, we meet them and love it :D

We have no problem with singles being on here for nsa sex. My point is that they often assume couples are doing it because theres a problem in their relationship, and say they wouldnt do it if they were in a relationship, they dont understand its precisely because couples have a good relationship they can do this.

I genuinely believe you are over thinking it; I hate to say this; but it probably needs saying; 99% of singles couldn't give a rats arse why you swing... sorry.....

The fact that 1% may make a snide remark... meh, be a single guy 50% of the users believe we are married.......

there are no snowflakes on fab... just people that meet other people for sex... and hardly anyone cares why.... sorry.

In our experience and interpretation of what we see on Fab, there is a percentage of men who want NSA sex in whatever form they can get, and have no interest in the needs of the couple. There is another percentage (I suspect small, but prepared to be wrong) who love playing with a couple or having some kind of input in a couple's sex life. Of the group who enjoy couple play, a percentage of them would do the same if they were part of a couple, but a percentage wouldn't and just don't really relate to why couples do this. This summary is very basic and I'm sure there are other categories. But this is just our thought process when considering single men to join us.

Mrs

doesn't negate what I have said; the singles may enjoy sharing in your fantasy, be active in it and become more friendly; but 99% couldn't care WHY you do it... because it really isn't part of their dynamic; when I meet a couple (and I have met a few) we talk about the dynamic; what is acceptable and what isn't; where the boundaries lie... I don't want to know their motivation behind it; I just want to know what will cause them to have a good time; because quid pro quo I will have a good time too... I don't need to know the motivation; just the desire...."

Gosh no,I agree with what you say. I mean I haven't a clue about the accuracy of the percentages, but I'm sure most singles don't put much thought into why couples do what they do. I was just adding my own interpretations to the mix.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"And here

The people who don't get it for me are:

1. The singles who say if they met somebody they'd never do it.

2. The couples who claim that people who do it are compensating for a shit sex life.

This is pretty much what i meant in the op but you put it so much more succinctly

"The"

Note 'the'.

It acknowledges there are plenty of others who do get it but that the debate references the ones who don't!

Oh so when you went on to say I lacked understanding and respect you didn't mean me, you meant generally? Oh, right, yeah

No - I meant you. I've been clear throughout.

And as I said, it's clear who doesn't get it here"

I think that's a relative clarity.

A bit like the perceived reality discussed earlier.

As clear as the bullshit it is.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"some singles, and some couples, have a different view of what swinging comprises of in the view of others. "

Hehe this

Not sure why it's so hard to grasp, except if someone is trying to be obtuse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici

this

If you read my op I say many singles not all singles!No ...it says singles...it changed to "most" singles once you were challenged over the comment

In my first post i said many singles. "
Thread title says singles....

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

"

Maybe I'm misreading an entire thread then, but it seems like at various points it's been stated, not only by you, that singles who wouldn't swing if they were in a relationship don't 'get it', despite many singles on this thread remarking to the contrary and being very respectful towards the lifestyle (apart from one commenter)

For the record, I find it appalling that you would receive messages like that, especially on here. I think it's great that you've found what works for you as a couple "

Don't think you're misreading, just taking my motives wrong.

I'm not getting at singles generally, and i appreciate many do get it. My point was the fact that some don't. just because i brought up one side of it, doesnt mean i don't see the other side too

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"

By ohnocplFind posts by ohnocpl Couple 5 minutes ago

Newcastle

"See my interpretation of "swinging" is meeting hedonistic libertines for sexual adventures; I couldn't give a monkey's right butt cheek why a couple wants to meet me; I am not a performing seal.... If its too enhance something; replace something; fulfils something..... no concern of mine...

I meet people that want to explore a range of sexual activities in a non-judgemental way (ironic given this thread); where those activities will not lead to complications or drama... I don't need to know the deeply subconscious or conscious reason as to why; I am not a therapist...

I think sometimes people take this all a bit too seriously... libertines; freethinkers; polyamorous; swinging; hedonists... it makes no odds to me...

If swinging was wife-swapping (which it isn't... sorry.... ) then I could see your point; the fact that you feel "judged" by narrow minded people... well I am sorry about that... would I swing if I was in a relationship? depends... on an awful lot of things; because surely OP when you made the decision to swing as a couple; you sat down and talked about it as a couple... as I don't currently have a partner to sit down and talk it through with; I cannot say either way; it would depend on my partner...

Anyway; divisive thread; bad taste in mouth... couple which meets singles judges singles as not "getting" swinging shocker.... irony has always been the order of the day ici

this

If you read my op I say many singles not all singles!No ...it says singles...it changed to "most" singles once you were challenged over the comment

In my first post i said many singles. "

Thread title says singles.... "

It does indeed. Well done

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By *osmicsMan
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I am single...

I umderstand

I can care

But from my simgle person perspective...it can seem a little irrelevant.

I love sex, I want sex, I get sex (sometimes) . My motive? I love sex!

Do couples care why? Quite sure alot don't. However in my opinion, i feel I am judged in negative light!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just another "we swing as a couple aren't we the shizz and singles suck" post,love that you don't get the irony of the final sentence in your original post even though it is pointed out to you but then what do I know as I am a mere single and I apparently don't get it

No irony. You obviously don't get what I'm saying. Singles dont suck at all, we meet them and love it :D

We have no problem with singles being on here for nsa sex. My point is that they often assume couples are doing it because theres a problem in their relationship, and say they wouldnt do it if they were in a relationship, they dont understand its precisely because couples have a good relationship they can do this.

I think those are two entirely separate 'groups' though; people who say they wouldn't necessarily swing if they were in a relationship can still understand and respect those that do, whereas people who say couples only do it because their relationship is flawed quite clearly are missing the point of swinging.

I don't think it's fair to lump everyone together like that

"

Very true, it's really not fair to be lumped together at all.

We were quite shocked when first using the forums how much hostility there was between the 2 groups, which we weren't aware of on our old profile.

It does take a bit of time and lurking to drill down between the 2 groups.

We really don't give a shit about what singles think about our relationship, we get enough of that from couples judging us for meeting separately and both being bi.

However we do like potential meets to have a bit of understanding about our relationship, not because we take ours seriously but because it makes it more enjoyable, less of a mechanical fuck.

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