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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Personally, I think swinging is not a generic subject as such. We are, after all, all different with different needs. I would imagine most couples on here have, perhaps, different needs. But specific scenarios can address those needs mutually.

The question is, how can you identify those needs without an extensive profile? Simply looking at interests is not enough to gauge the needs of an individual or a couple. I suppose, what I am saying is how can one understand the dynamics of a couple or the requirements of a lady without messaging them? Don't misunderstand me, I don't have a problem messaging folk, but with so many single men doing the same, how do you ensure a profile matches your own needs prior to contact?

Maybe a revamp of the current interests? Because if you take cuckold as an example, there are so many different types or requirements and the same could be said for all of the interests. In the absence of a full profile, one struggles a bit.That said, imagine the sheer size of a revamped interests!!

I think ultimately it has to come down to profile content, and so many women and couples, keep their profiles short, understandably so, because so many people don't read them to begin with!!

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

Redesign the categories any way you please, your mails will still be one amongst hundreds. Nothing will change that.

Personally, the categories seem reasonably fit for purpose - there are certainly some justifiable tweaks being suggested in the site feedback forum - but a full scale re-defining feels like overkill.

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By *harpDressed ManMan
over a year ago

Here occasionally, but mostly somewhere else

You make a good point about profile length though - but there's no solution to that either. If a minimum length was proposed, some people would fill it with nonsense, or AscII drawings, or more legal disclaimers than you've seen in your life, and the problem of not knowing about about profile would remain.

All you can do is not message those profiles (because, as you imply, there's no point), and concentrate on chat, forums, socials, posting updates, refreshing pics, making your own profile as good as you can - things you can control that increase the chances of someone finding you instead of vice versa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think people just need to be more clear in their words on their profile, and learn how to be concise with that.

when i was looking for someone to cuckold i was very clear on what i wanted exactly, but only after i'd been messaged by a few guys who wanted different things from me when i only had that i wanted a guy to cuckold.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I agree completely with both of you. I can appreciate not everybody wishes to explain their needs and requirements in their profile, but surely it could reduce the amount of responses in their inbox. Having said that, I think there are lots of folk out there who either don't read profiles or maybe think the preferences are not applicable to them!!

Is there a solution? I think not.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sometimes expressing what you want also gives other people the chance to lie about wanting the same thing as you, and get your hopes up (if looking for something specific) then let you down or waste your time.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"sometimes expressing what you want also gives other people the chance to lie about wanting the same thing as you, and get your hopes up (if looking for something specific) then let you down or waste your time."

Yes, of course. What a shame that honesty is not always reciprocated. Surely meeting in such circumstances is counter productive though?

I don't think swinging is as much about sex as folk think. Perhaps it's more to do with sharing an idea, a perception of sex and the communication of that perception is the vital ingredient, along with honesty and trust.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

yeah. for plenty i think that's how they feel swinging should be.

i'm not a swinger but have enjoyed the forums as my main part of socialising for a while now.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's a par off between a long profile that gives more insight into who you are and a short one that people will read. So we've tried to strike a compromise between the two.

There's also the risk that with every extra word you might make the person reading feel they're not what you're looking for when really one's particular take on things can be quite secondary to good chemistry. So sometimes a short profile works better at attracting people than a long one.

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