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Doms - Subs, how many?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So new to learning the variables/limits and the dynamics of this.

I can imagine it's more practicals to be a submisuve for one person only. But started to think, as a Dom' you could in theory have more than one submissive.

But can you give those subs (let's say 2 to keep it simple) enough attention?

Does anyone here have more than 1 sub? Would you tell 1 of them they're not the only one?

Serious question. I'm experiencing something along these lines.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was a sub for a few months and wouldn't have been happy to know he had more than one. My understanding is that it's usually 1 on 1.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

We're a dom/sub couple, but we also have a woman we meet together who is submissive to us both.

It's a very satisfying arrangement for all three of us!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"We're a dom/sub couple, but we also have a woman we meet together who is submissive to us both.

It's a very satisfying arrangement for all three of us! "

Is this the m or f replying?

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

It's M replying here.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"It's M replying here."

Are you able to give each sub your 100 percent attention when they need it? Have you been unique with each woman, or found you were lazy and 'copied' things with what has worked for 1?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankyou for posting.Depends of the dynamics,mind you the submissive will not complain for the lack of attention,she or he will be grateful with what Master or Mistress give to them .

Also they will have tasks to fulfil,their gratification is to be serving and pleasing their Mistress/Master.

Of course they get rewards,but when they freely give the control to someone else ,they are happy do do as they told.

But saying that have different kinds,part time slave,full time .Really is up to them to communicate and organise their arrangements.x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks. From a subs' point of veiw I understand. I'm trying to see how a Dom could be happy to keep this relationship with more than one. How could you not start to treat them the same. What works is finding out what they want/enjoy. That would require my full attention. How is that possible with 2 subs?


"Thankyou for posting.Depends of the dynamics,mind you the submissive will not complain for the lack of attention,she or he will be grateful with what Master or Mistress give to them .

Also they will have tasks to fulfil,their gratification is to be serving and pleasing their Mistress/Master.

Of course they get rewards,but when they freely give the control to someone else ,they are happy do do as they told.

But saying that have different kinds,part time slave,full time .Really is up to them to communicate and organise their arrangements.x

"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would quite enjoy being one of a number of submissives.

Especially if we had to perform as a group for our Dom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thankyou for posting.Depends of the dynamics,mind you the submissive will not complain for the lack of attention,she or he will be grateful with what Master or Mistress give to them .

Also they will have tasks to fulfil,their gratification is to be serving and pleasing their Mistress/Master.

Of course they get rewards,but when they freely give the control to someone else ,they are happy do do as they told.

But saying that have different kinds,part time slave,full time .Really is up to them to communicate and organise their arrangements.x

Nicely put! I agree with everything above! It depends on the arrangement between Dom and Sub at the beginning. If it was a stable relationship then I would not have more than one. Most people I meet on here though just want to play and go back to hubby :-/. It's about escapism a lot of the time, people just want to go somewhere in there head for that short time they are with you.

"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was a sub for a few months and wouldn't have been happy to know he had more than one. My understanding is that it's usually 1 on 1. "

Yes. That's how I always thought. It's an intimate thing. Both wanting the same, but complete polar opposite control of the relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks. From a subs' point of veiw I understand. I'm trying to see how a Dom could be happy to keep this relationship with more than one. How could you not start to treat them the same. What works is finding out what they want/enjoy. That would require my full attention. How is that possible with 2 subs?

Thankyou for posting.Depends of the dynamics,mind you the submissive will not complain for the lack of attention,she or he will be grateful with what Master or Mistress give to them .

Also they will have tasks to fulfil,their gratification is to be serving and pleasing their Mistress/Master.

Of course they get rewards,but when they freely give the control to someone else ,they are happy do do as they told.

But saying that have different kinds,part time slave,full time .Really is up to them to communicate and organise their arrangements.x

"
well I meet a Master In London, he had 3 slaves ,one he was married with fulltime,a male and female,when he required.Bearing in mind he requires your full attention on his presence or not. Is the slave who is the subordinate ,they won't ask questions where you been etc!They will be just happy to welcome him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes, I have two subs at the moment. They both know about each other. I also have a handful of people that I am submissive to. I don't see that more than one relationship is a problem when it comes to d/s.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Have you been unique with each woman, or found you were lazy and 'copied' things with what has worked for 1? "

Are you 'lazy' and 'copy' things from your past sexual experiences with people? Or are you 'unique' with each person you have sex with?

Spoiler: I bet you aren't 100% 'unique' with each person. I bet you do things that worked well with other people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was a sub for a few months and wouldn't have been happy to know he had more than one. My understanding is that it's usually 1 on 1.

Yes. That's how I always thought. It's an intimate thing. Both wanting the same, but complete polar opposite control of the relationship.

"

well your happiness would be your Master happiness! Isn't always one to one! Also sometimes the dynamics of relationship between Master and slave will change.And your Master will wish his needs fulfilled.As I said before communication is the key.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a domme for a short while. I was the only sub of hers at that point but I know she had multiple ones in the past. One online, one she could see and spend time with regularly and one that was just service orientated. I remember her saying she found it difficult to keep up with them all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was a sub for a few months and wouldn't have been happy to know he had more than one. My understanding is that it's usually 1 on 1. "

If you are a monogamous person then I'd expect you to want one on one.

If you are a polyamorous person then I'd expect you to *not* want one on one.

I know more polyamorous people than monogamous people, so most d/s relationships in my circle of friends are poly. I know very few monogamous d/s relationships.

Your experience may vary.

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By *ade_of_StarsCouple
over a year ago

Whitburn

My baby girl is my only sub. I have other part partners but I wouldn't be able or comfortable in my ability to have more than one submissive at any time.

Obviously what works for others works for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a domme for a short while. I was the only sub of hers at that point but I know she had multiple ones in the past. One online, one she could see and spend time with regularly and one that was just service orientated. I remember her saying she found it difficult to keep up with them all"

Well if she said that,is because she wasn't strict enough to keep you all in a straight line.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol


"It's M replying here.

Are you able to give each sub your 100 percent attention when they need it? Have you been unique with each woman, or found you were lazy and 'copied' things with what has worked for 1? "

Well, the fundamental aspects of satisfying dom/sub play occur firstly in the mind. So understanding the needs of each submissive is key to scenario. I think if you can't do that naturally, it's not going to be an enjoyable experience. So when we play together I have made some advance planning of how the scenario might play out, which helps maintain the correct heirarchy between two subs where one is switch, but I am confident in my mental ability to sense what each needs from the experience as it plays out amongst us.

So when the three of us are together it's not about going through a set of pre-defined hoops...it's more knowing what hoops each submissive will enjoy being made to jump through, and being able to intuit exactly when during the scenario they will enjoy being made to take the leap.

And finding new hoops together, naturally.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a domme for a short while. I was the only sub of hers at that point but I know she had multiple ones in the past. One online, one she could see and spend time with regularly and one that was just service orientated. I remember her saying she found it difficult to keep up with them all

Well if she said that,is because she wasn't strict enough to keep you all in a straight line. "

I only have relationships with submissives where they want to be submissive with me. I don't need to 'keep them all in a straight line'. If I did, they'd be out.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"My baby girl is my only sub. I have other part partners but I wouldn't be able or comfortable in my ability to have more than one submissive at any time.

Obviously what works for others works for them. "

Yes. Uncomfortable. That explains why two or more would feel difficult for me.

I know exactly what they want and I can give it to them. But only if I have more of my time. And If i feel 'lazy' (which I said) then the appeal is lost my side. Which in return she is not going to get what she fully wants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a domme for a short while. I was the only sub of hers at that point but I know she had multiple ones in the past. One online, one she could see and spend time with regularly and one that was just service orientated. I remember her saying she found it difficult to keep up with them all

Well if she said that,is because she wasn't strict enough to keep you all in a straight line. "

oh she definitely was! She liked to make sure everyone had enough attention and didn't feel neglected by her which is quite sweet really!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bookmarking this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thanks. From a subs' point of veiw I understand. I'm trying to see how a Dom could be happy to keep this relationship with more than one. How could you not start to treat them the same. What works is finding out what they want/enjoy. That would require my full attention. How is that possible with 2 subs?

Thankyou for posting.Depends of the dynamics,mind you the submissive will not complain for the lack of attention,she or he will be grateful with what Master or Mistress give to them .

Also they will have tasks to fulfil,their gratification is to be serving and pleasing their Mistress/Master.

Of course they get rewards,but when they freely give the control to someone else ,they are happy do do as they told.

But saying that have different kinds,part time slave,full time .Really is up to them to communicate and organise their arrangements.x

"
I have four regular subs the dynamics are different with each sub

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"It's M replying here.

Are you able to give each sub your 100 percent attention when they need it? Have you been unique with each woman, or found you were lazy and 'copied' things with what has worked for 1?

Well, the fundamental aspects of satisfying dom/sub play occur firstly in the mind. So understanding the needs of each submissive is key to scenario. I think if you can't do that naturally, it's not going to be an enjoyable experience. So when we play together I have made some advance planning of how the scenario might play out, which helps maintain the correct heirarchy between two subs where one is switch, but I am confident in my mental ability to sense what each needs from the experience as it plays out amongst us.

So when the three of us are together it's not about going through a set of pre-defined hoops...it's more knowing what hoops each submissive will enjoy being made to jump through, and being able to intuit exactly when during the scenario they will enjoy being made to take the leap.

And finding new hoops together, naturally."
your right when you use two subs you make the mental conection work in your favour

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes, I have two subs at the moment. They both know about each other. I also have a handful of people that I am submissive to. I don't see that more than one relationship is a problem when it comes to d/s."
that's what works for me to tho I'm never sub

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

It's more about making our mental connections work in all our favour.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

I think this is entirely down to the people involved, the Dom/me's abilities and each individuals nature.

If the people involved are happy with including another then it can work very very well. But if one partner isn't comfortable with a shared experience then it will end in a very unhappy sub at least.

Inexperienced Dom/me's are still very much learning to handle one sub. Trying to juggle more isn't fair on the subs, imho you will get it wrong a lot in that situation. But later... if all can be happy, sure it can work very well.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was a sub for a few months and wouldn't have been happy to know he had more than one. My understanding is that it's usually 1 on 1. "

I've had Doms tell me they have a vacancy amongst their harem. I laugh then run.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was a sub for a few months and wouldn't have been happy to know he had more than one. My understanding is that it's usually 1 on 1.

I've had Doms tell me they have a vacancy amongst their harem. I laugh then run."

That sounds like a dickish phrase to use.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thankyou for posting.Depends of the dynamics,mind you the submissive will not complain for the lack of attention,she or he will be grateful with what Master or Mistress give to them .

Also they will have tasks to fulfil,their gratification is to be serving and pleasing their Mistress/Master.

Of course they get rewards,but when they freely give the control to someone else ,they are happy do do as they told.

But saying that have different kinds,part time slave,full time .Really is up to them to communicate and organise their arrangements.x

"

You seem to be blurring the lines of sub/Dom and slave/Master. Which in a sense is fine as lines do blur, however, stereotypical subs have the ultimate control and lend that control, whereas slaves tend to relinquish control at the beginning. It also depends on whether the roles are for sexual play or lifestyle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think this is entirely down to the people involved, the Dom/me's abilities and each individuals nature.

If the people involved are happy with including another then it can work very very well. But if one partner isn't comfortable with a shared experience then it will end in a very unhappy sub at least.

Inexperienced Dom/me's are still very much learning to handle one sub. Trying to juggle more isn't fair on the subs, imho you will get it wrong a lot in that situation. But later... if all can be happy, sure it can work very well."

Actually I think that it depends on your background really. I've known people to be poly first, and get into BDSM second. In that case they're actually very, very comfortable with having more than one submissive partner.

It's almost like everyone is different...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I had a domme for a short while. I was the only sub of hers at that point but I know she had multiple ones in the past. One online, one she could see and spend time with regularly and one that was just service orientated. I remember her saying she found it difficult to keep up with them all

Well if she said that,is because she wasn't strict enough to keep you all in a straight line. "

You're talking of your experiences and the poster theirs. Each is valid in its own right.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just because your a dom does not mean you can have more than one sub. It all depends of the dynamics of the relationship. Besides I bet there's lots of subs with more than one dom out there lol

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