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The worst opening message...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

So, I recently had a guy ask me how big I was because he had a small penis and wanted to know if it'd fit. This was on a different site so hopefully he won't read this!

Soooooo dreamy!

What have been your worst opening messages received!?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow...

'I want to rim your tight asshole' was a personal favourite

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By *rinceCorwinMan
over a year ago

Manchester

Mine was "Nice cock, do you want it sucking?"

From a guy

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Wow...

'I want to rim your tight asshole' was a personal favourite"

Haha! Wow... straight to the point!

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By *edRidingWolfCouple
over a year ago

Lydney

Aside from the offers to pay you mean?

.

My personal favourite was the one who wanted me to eat a packet of quavers from between his ass cheeks.

.

And the particular charmer who's opening message was to call me several derogatory names and how I looked "rapeable"

.

Red x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Aside from the offers to pay you mean?

.

My personal favourite was the one who wanted me to eat a packet of quavers from between his ass cheeks.

.

Red x "

Quavers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wow...

'I want to rim your tight asshole' was a personal favourite

Haha! Wow... straight to the point! "

Yeah I can't say he wasn't direct!

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

Will you shit on me?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Aside from the offers to pay you mean?

.

My personal favourite was the one who wanted me to eat a packet of quavers from between his ass cheeks.

.

And the particular charmer who's opening message was to call me several derogatory names and how I looked "rapeable"

.

Red x "

Oh... my... goodness!

Yep, you win!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Will you shit on me? "

Since you asked so nicely of course I will

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

Dunno, but I never got a reply to that message I sent about the quavers

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough

"Would you like me to suck you off while I'm wanking in my daughter's knickers?"

From a bloke .....

So wrong on several levels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a pen, I can tick all your boxes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/10/16 10:26:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Hey, what do you think of this [bestiality] porn site?'

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

I was told last night in an opening message that I must have an STD as I've met so many people. I did actually reply asking if he understood what swinging was.

He's now unlos.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I have a pen, I can tick all your boxes. "

That's gold! *Writes down for later use*

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By *he-Dirty-DuoMan
over a year ago

Boston

We had a guy message us with "fancy emptying my sack" that was his introduction to us needless to say that's as far as it went I soon deleted him.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would you fuck my Grandad, he's not had anything since Gran died

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, I recently had a guy ask me how big I was because he had a small penis and wanted to know if it'd fit. This was on a different site so hopefully he won't read this!

Soooooo dreamy!

What have been your worst opening messages received!? "

Hi Claire. Mine has to be a guy who messaged me with the line. Let me fuck you and bred with you"

Now I know some guys hae the fantasy of impregnating a woman, but not quite sure how that works with me. Deleted and blocked.

XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would you fuck my Grandad, he's not had anything since Gran died "

Wow thats just too wierd.

XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will you shit in my mouth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Would you like me to suck you off while I'm wanking in my daughter's knickers?"

From a bloke .....

So wrong on several levels "

That is so fucked up beyond belief!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Do you live in Brighton? *sigh*

I replied 'No, Doncaster'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"bj?" has been one of mine.

I've yet to have a worst one from the fairer sex or indeed any one lol

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By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich

Have my baby. Be my mummy. Shit in my mouth. Meet my ten friends. Fuck my dog. And on and on and on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Still think the "Can I shoot cock snot up your fart pipe" beats the rest hands down.

I almost wet myself laughing when I received that one.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll come and fuck your slut wife if you can convince me to

He got a breif "fuck off c**t!

Always makes me giggle whag some people think is a good opener

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK

I'm obviously doing quite well in my approach to messages then! Haha

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By *dam1971Man
over a year ago

Bedford

I never knew scat was so popular.

Or is it because toilet paper is so expensive these days?

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


"Still think the "Can I shoot cock snot up your fart pipe" beats the rest hands down.

I almost wet myself laughing when I received that one."

I know it's not attractive but that had me snorting with laughter then!

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


"I never knew scat was so popular.

Or is it because toilet paper is so expensive these days?"

They obviously don't go to Lidl!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Still think the "Can I shoot cock snot up your fart pipe" beats the rest hands down.

I almost wet myself laughing when I received that one."

After an opening line like that. How did you resist?

XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Suck and go" from a guy.

Nah...

No.1 - I'm not gay

No.2 - I'm not gonna drive 298 miles for a quick gobble!!

??????

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By *exybecs777TV/TS
over a year ago

Weymouth

I love your pregnant look....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'll come and fuck your slut wife if you can convince me to

He got a breif "fuck off c**t!

Always makes me giggle whag some people think is a good opener "

Damm was going to try that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanted to meet meet me in a graveyard for sex and me to wear thigh boots and a leather skirt....doggy style sex over a gravestone..to fulfil ihis long held fantasy....you couldn't make it up!

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By *inchyorksMan
over a year ago

huddersfield


"We had a guy message us with "fancy emptying my sack" that was his introduction to us needless to say that's as far as it went I soon deleted him."

Poor Santa, he just can't give it away!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Guys offering to suck my cock and pay to do so, too. Weirdos, they're always met with a block button.

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough


""Would you like me to suck you off while I'm wanking in my daughter's knickers?"

From a bloke .....

So wrong on several levels

That is so fucked up beyond belief! "

Indeed, I'm flattered to get an offer of oral stimulation, but the rest....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Still think the "Can I shoot cock snot up your fart pipe" beats the rest hands down.

I almost wet myself laughing when I received that one."

Hahahaha!!!! that actually made me laugh out loud

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)


"Will you shit in my mouth "

I've had that one as well .. fu**ing cut and paste messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fair play those tits r huge!

Don't know which part bothered me more - the fact that they felt it was charming to open with that or that they were to lazy to type 'are'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I will use all your holes"

Um, no darling, you really won't.....

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By *aughty_amazonWoman
over a year ago

BRISTOL

"Daysees or Rosie's"

Wat Wud you lick on ur castkit when I muder ur pussi

For real!

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By *udistnorthantsMan
over a year ago

Desborough


""Daysees or Rosie's"

Wat Wud you lick on ur castkit when I muder ur pussi

For real!"

I don't know about your pussy but they murdered the English language

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/10/16 11:40:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We would say our favorite was

"Wanna meet now. I need to smash that pussy I would destroy you"

And single fellas wonder why they get a bad rep. We feel sorry for the nice genuine guys, they're overshadowed by idiots. Haha x x

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By *aughty_amazonWoman
over a year ago

BRISTOL


""Daysees or Rosie's"

Wat Wud you lick on ur castkit when I muder ur pussi

For real!

I don't know about your pussy but they murdered the English language "

I even sent it to some friends on here It was that funny!

Obviously I accepted graciously but asked for lilys

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By *aughty_amazonWoman
over a year ago

BRISTOL


"We would say our favorite was

"Wanna meet now. I need to smash that pussy I would destroy you"

And single fellas wonder why they get a bad rep. We feel sorry for the nice genuine guys, they're overshadowed by idiots. Haha x x"

Hate that one, I reply "no thanKS, I'm quite fond of my pussy intact thanKS"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How much for you to shit in my mouth?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Would I like to be impregnated by a stranger...winner!

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly


"We would say our favorite was

"Wanna meet now. I need to smash that pussy I would destroy you"

And single fellas wonder why they get a bad rep. We feel sorry for the nice genuine guys, they're overshadowed by idiots. Haha x x

Hate that one, I reply "no thanKS, I'm quite fond of my pussy intact thanKS""

I've had 'I'm gonna come round bend you over and smash your back doors in' to which I've replied there's more chance me bending you over and smashing yours in with my strap on. It was swiftly followed by a block

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will I have sex on my monthly period. Yuk

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

NO COMMENT

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

Worse one..

"Fncy a fk"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We would say our favorite was

"Wanna meet now. I need to smash that pussy I would destroy you"

And single fellas wonder why they get a bad rep. We feel sorry for the nice genuine guys, they're overshadowed by idiots. Haha x x

Hate that one, I reply "no thanKS, I'm quite fond of my pussy intact thanKS"

I've had 'I'm gonna come round bend you over and smash your back doors in' to which I've replied there's more chance me bending you over and smashing yours in with my strap on. It was swiftly followed by a block "

Ha ha ha I do love the ones that assume they "are coming round" were like....erm no dickhead. Read the profile....and btw your cock photos look like you should see a Dr to take care of the infection. Ha ha ha maybe harsh at times but we figured if they want to be crude.....then that's the tone we will follow ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How big is your cock"

"Come round now (after 11pm)"

couples and single woman can lack imagination when it comes to messages...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Still think the "Can I shoot cock snot up your fart pipe" beats the rest hands down.

I almost wet myself laughing when I received that one."

Do you have his name pmsl x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

reading these makes me slightly worried for humanity!

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By *nequeenslutWoman
over a year ago

rugeley


"Wanted to meet meet me in a graveyard for sex and me to wear thigh boots and a leather skirt....doggy style sex over a gravestone..to fulfil ihis long held fantasy....you couldn't make it up!"

ive had that one to

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Where u

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"looking for 15 year old Asian lads" (his term was extremely derogatory)

"have you got a room I can borrow for an hour?" (from the same guy)

"can you get hold of rohypnol?"

"are you free now?" (from someone sat in their dressing gown in Warrington)

..not to mention the 3 or 4 messages per day generously offering to help out when I'm busy!

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By *nequeenslutWoman
over a year ago

rugeley

I really think this sight should require an IQ test to become a member

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'I wanna ram your cock down my thorat I'm free now'

From a bloke who I'm sure I had blocked on another profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's go dogging. I will pick you up in my hearse

One way to guarantee a stiffy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I also had an opening message what footie team I supported! He was from Glasgow and wouldn't meet someone who supported the other main team there!

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

"Are you animal lovers?"

Seems fairly innocuous... and being new and naïve we didn't join up the dots until a few messages in!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also had an opening message what footie team I supported! He was from Glasgow and wouldn't meet someone who supported the other main team there!

"

Got a mate from Glasgow. That doesn't surprise me one bit.

XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy on another site asked if I wanted to watch him on cam cut off a piece of his own foreskin.....

I went with a no....quickly followed by a block!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also had an opening message what footie team I supported! He was from Glasgow and wouldn't meet someone who supported the other main team there!

Got a mate from Glasgow. That doesn't surprise me one bit.

XX"

Didn't meet him.,this is a fun site not a sectarian or political one! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had a couple of the can l shit/piss on me

But at least they are well written, the worst message by content was a guy who's message was "i fuck" and a picture of his cock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you genuine? Or just a fake stuck up cunt?"

...or

"I don't know why I'm bothering to message you, you probably won't answer!"

...how can a girl resist?!

And of course the Classic's - "Can I get you pregnant?", "I'll pay for your used knickers" and not forgetting, "Piss in my mouth"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Still think the "Can I shoot cock snot up your fart pipe" beats the rest hands down.

I almost wet myself laughing when I received that one.

Do you have his name pmsl x"

No..it was a message that went to several people and started a thread in the forum. I just deleted it. Funny though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had a gay guy ( clearly states in straight)

Ask me if I wanted my cock sucking at a local pub

So

I thought

Let's play along

So I agreed it was time I tried oral off a guy

Told him which pub I'd be in

Had no intention of meeting

I just detest that kind of thing

He could have said hi first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I think I can just top all them

Just been asked to play with myself whilst one is sinking in quick sand & will pay me to fulfil his fantasy ...seriously WTAF ....then when he's nearly sunk I blow him a kiss & walk off with his bag of cash ...my lord

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In the last 20 minutes I've just had the. Wanna meet you! Followed less than 5 minutes later by. Another just sounding more desperate. Deleted both and blocked. Guy just did one of my pet hates. You didn't reply so I'll message you again.

XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I also had an opening message what footie team I supported! He was from Glasgow and wouldn't meet someone who supported the other main team there!

Got a mate from Glasgow. That doesn't surprise me one bit.

XX

Didn't meet him.,this is a fun site not a sectarian or political one! X"

Completely agree.

XX

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By *ifferent69Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK


"Wow...

'I want to rim your tight asshole' was a personal favourite"
ha ha I had the same wonder if it were same person ??

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By *tuartb1970Man
over a year ago

tunbridge wells

Not on this site but had a woman message me with the opening words of

" nice dogs I bet they would taste good in a curry "

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By *ifferent69Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK


"Aside from the offers to pay you mean?

.

My personal favourite was the one who wanted me to eat a packet of quavers from between his ass cheeks.

.

And the particular charmer who's opening message was to call me several derogatory names and how I looked "rapeable"

.

Red x "
rapeable ...!! Jeeeesus.. really ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Will you shit on me? "
Did they specify a height?

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By *ifferent69Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK


"A guy on another site asked if I wanted to watch him on cam cut off a piece of his own foreskin.....

I went with a no....quickly followed by a block!"
. Bloody ell !!

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By *ifferent69Man
over a year ago

BRIGHTON, UK

Reading some of these replies is reassuring that I Don,t seem all that " warped " after all.

I,m pretty sane then ..... yeah dull and boring ha ha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'I love your arse! I want to fill it with champagne then make you shit it into a glass then I will make you drink it' not even a 'hi' first lol!

Alabama

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why r 2 fit birds like u shagging sum old bloke ??? Cum and get yr holes smashed till they bleed by u real man

From a 19 year old

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales

"I know you don't meet guys but thought I'd ask if I can come and wank over your face while the hubby fucks you?"

Guess what? It's a no from me

Another was the usual "I can satisfy you better than him with my 9" so I said that was too big 7" would be fine could he chop 2" off.

Got bored with them all in the end so all blocked.

Guess what, no more crass messages, you ladies disappoint me

x

H

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I sniff your feet whilst my wife is away but you must not tell her"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'I love your arse! I want to fill it with champagne then make you shit it into a glass then I will make you drink it' not even a 'hi' first lol!

Alabama "

Ahh damn it knew I should of said hi first

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'I love your arse! I want to fill it with champagne then make you shit it into a glass then I will make you drink it' not even a 'hi' first lol!

Alabama "

Omg

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By *fcdTV/TS
over a year ago

Southend

They're nearly all pretty dreadful TBH. Apart from the usual "Hey. How R U?" variations, I get miffed by the ones who clearly haven't read my profile with their approach but also the "Get your slut mouth round here and suck my cock", usually followed by "Fuck you" when I don't reply.

OTOH, there's still a good few very nice ones.

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By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

I had a lady who asked could she shit on me n I asked could I use tissue paper no she said it would diahoria n tissue paper would b no good cos she wanted to rub it around me . Yuk where do we get them from .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The most wayout one I hade was from a stunning blonde lady asking if she could come to mine and pleasure me and then leave. Outrageous.

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By *mmmMaybeCouple
over a year ago

West Wales


"'I love your arse! I want to fill it with champagne then make you shit it into a glass then I will make you drink it' not even a 'hi' first lol!

Alabama "

Hi,

(Copy paste)

S&H

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is a very entertaining thread. It's taking the edge of been at work for 12 hours.

XX

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"'I love your arse! I want to fill it with champagne then make you shit it into a glass then I will make you drink it' not even a 'hi' first lol!

Alabama

Hi,

(Copy paste)

S&H

"

See that's so much nicer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Let's take this too the woods the loser digs the hole

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"NO COMMENT "

NO COMMENT AGAIN I KNOW WHAT IN MEN PENISES LOLL

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By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..


"We had a guy message us with "fancy emptying my sack" that was his introduction to us needless to say that's as far as it went I soon deleted him."

Are you sure that wasn't Santa?

The best I've had was "I want you to be my toilet slave you fucking little bitch"

And she seemed such a sweet lady in her profile.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just the other day...

Wanna see you fart my cum out your arse

He was from Bournemouth so I declined. Too far away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Meet me in B and Q car park I want to finger you in my car...

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


" Meet me in B and Q car park I want to finger you in my car... "

What a charmer, don't know how you didn't fall for him LOL

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly


"We had a guy message us with "fancy emptying my sack" that was his introduction to us needless to say that's as far as it went I soon deleted him.

Are you sure that wasn't Santa?

The best I've had was "I want you to be my toilet slave you fucking little bitch"

And she seemed such a sweet lady in her profile. "

Yeah sorry but I do warn about being fooled by my innocent looks

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By *anklerMan
over a year ago

Suffolk

Once got a message from a man who wanted to get me pregnent

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By *asyplease00Man
over a year ago

darlington

Once had a woman say show me yours so I did she said that's a small flute I said now show me yours she opened her legs I was shocked & said I never new it was playing in a cathedral X

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By *layfulCouple86Couple
over a year ago

Lancashire

"I'd ruin your Mrs" actually you clearly won't as you won't be going anywhere near her.

or "Fucking hard x" Nothing else but atleast he bothered to leave a kiss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Will you let me eat your poo?

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


"Will you let me eat your poo? "

What a crap message that was!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 08/10/16 22:30:57]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not sexualy graphic,sorry!!, but one ladies opening message was

"im very attractive and my time is valuable, describe in words of more than one syllable why you should be allowed to contact me "

Think she's probably still waiting for my answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Will you let me eat your poo?

What a crap message that was! "

Very shitty indeed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think a lot of these people need reporting or putting down!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will let you sleep with my wife as long as you pull out and cum in my mouth

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By *22hotMan
over a year ago

tipton

Unfortunately only time wasters in my area....witch site you been?maybe I'll have more luck on there

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Do you live in Brighton? *sigh*

I replied 'No, Doncaster' "

Wish you did live in Doncaster would be easier for me to have my wicked way with you x

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


"Will you let me eat your poo?

What a crap message that was!

Very shitty indeed! "

I'm still thinking I must do quite well, concocting full sentences and chipping in on these forums seems some of my fellow humans struggle with the basics

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By *llabouttheOCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"Does the female like thin penis"

Funnily enough we didn't get a response when our reply was ..

"No but the Male does"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Does the female like thin penis"

Funnily enough we didn't get a response when our reply was ..

"No but the Male does" "

too funny

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the worst message I ever had was 'x'

I bet so much thought went into that..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wuu2

Ummmmm.....delete

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A woman wanting to watch me poo then wipe me clean.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Dad?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Crumbs! Isn't it all a bit disturbing!

With many of these messages I can't help wpndering how many fake profiles here are secretly operated by Donald Trump!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just had a new one.

Fuck now in the back of my van.

Emmm... no ta

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By *icklybitMan
over a year ago

Ayrshire

"??????" That was it, I suspect alcohol was involved. And it continued with more gibberish then abuse.

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By *errible2sumCouple
over a year ago

london

Can I get you pregnant

Can I breed you

Etc

Too many to list.

Often send a not too polite reply and block

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I'm thinking these lines would make a better book than Tinder Nightmares!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


""Daysees or Rosie's"

Wat Wud you lick on ur castkit when I muder ur pussi

For real!

I don't know about your pussy but they murdered the English language "

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By *quirell2015Man
over a year ago

somewhere nearby

You wanna try a cocky in your arse I promise il pull out !!!!!!

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By *elloIntrigueMan
over a year ago

North West UK


"I'm thinking these lines would make a better book than Tinder Nightmares! "

I think you are onto a major money making idea in releasing a book

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By *ecretlyASoftieWoman
over a year ago

Hull but travel regularly

I like outdoors but i don't have much time. Fancy it in my shed?

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By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

"Its a shame you asian cos your hot.bit id still fuck you"

Oooh i was soooo tempted NOT

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By *rinceCorwinMan
over a year ago

Manchester


"We had a guy message us with "fancy emptying my sack" that was his introduction to us needless to say that's as far as it went I soon deleted him."

Was it 24th December by any chance?

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

When can I meet you, so I can ram my cock up you.

Needless to say sarcastic message was given back, followed by the block button.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just got this...

If ten men spunked in a bowl, would you drink it?

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By *ade_of_StarsCouple
over a year ago

Whitburn

"Jesus loves you, why don't you love yourself?"

Thanks Jesus x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


""Jesus loves you, why don't you love yourself?"

Thanks Jesus x "

Jesus is such a considerate guy!

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By *rbrightside20000Man
over a year ago

halifax

A lady messaged me and said I'm so bloody wet do you have a mop to go with that cock of yours ...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So have been messaging with a guy, who apparently knows me from outside of fab, and certainly seems to know a bit about me, but he doesn't have a face pic or is willing to share his name.

However keeps messaging asking for a meet, I have stipulated that I won't meet anyone without knowing what they look like and remind him of this every time.

He just messaged with the words 'Kiss this' and several cock pics.

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

I got a shitstorm of a message from a woman on here ( she objected violently to something I said on the forum- BTW she isn't on fab now).

Two weeks later we fucked each other to oblivion over a weekend and have been great freinds ever since.

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By *uffnsmovCouple
over a year ago

Leeds/Wakefield


"Aside from the offers to pay you mean?

.

My personal favourite was the one who wanted me to eat a packet of quavers from between his ass cheeks.

.

Red x

Quavers "

Better than cheesey wot sits I suppose

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

First message the first time I joined the site was:-

1. Bring me a bottle of brandy.

2. Only refer to me as mistress.

3. I am going to fuck you hard with my strap on, then you will leave.

er.. I'm OK thanks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First message the first time I joined the site was:-

1. Bring me a bottle of brandy.

2. Only refer to me as mistress.

3. I am going to fuck you hard with my strap on, then you will leave.

er.. I'm OK thanks."

Sounds like a dream!

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By *ikeywestMan
over a year ago

Bournemouth

i only came in here to read the funny comments.....cos the worse message ive been sent is........oh hang on....no ones sent me any messages at all so i can't compare

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Just the other day...

Wanna see you fart my cum out your arse

He was from Bournemouth so I declined. Too far away "

I've had this line too, in addition to asking if I'd insert a catheter into him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First message the first time I joined the site was:-

1. Bring me a bottle of brandy.

2. Only refer to me as mistress.

3. I am going to fuck you hard with my strap on, then you will leave.

er.. I'm OK thanks.

Sounds like a dream!"

How? Doesn't sound like she was sharing the brandy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My most memorable was.

" hi, I think we went to school together, will you please piss over me? "

There was an eleven year age gap, so a bit difficult to have been in school together!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah we sent a good 75% of these inboxes.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yeah we sent a good 75% of these inboxes."

Thought it was quite rude most of you didn't reply actually.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine was from a woman.

Fuck my fanny as I bend over with my head in the toilet, then flush it, I will shit on your cock as you fuck me then pull out & i will suck the shit off your cock as you cum in my mouth!

From a woman! I ignored her but she sent message after message begging me!

I blocked her in the end.

Beat that!!

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By *aznlouCouple
over a year ago

co durham

From a single bloke - can I impregnate you? I said yea sure & he then asked whether I'd like a Boy or girl pmsl couldn't make it up. Clearly has super sperm that beats ivf.

The usual ? And wanna fuk

Want to fuck a real man which went down well

Want to meet a father & son which was just weird

Meet a bloke & his "friends" but without my fella erm nope!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"First message the first time I joined the site was:-

1. Bring me a bottle of brandy.

2. Only refer to me as mistress.

3. I am going to fuck you hard with my strap on, then you will leave.

er.. I'm OK thanks.

Sounds like a dream!

How? Doesn't sound like she was sharing the brandy."

That's true, bugger

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *9 kisses.Man
over a year ago

clacton on sea

I had a message from a couple

"Get here now",

Tempting and they were only ten miles away, could of put a bit more effort into it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Would you fuck my Grandad, he's not had anything since Gran died "

I just spat my coffee across the room

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Will you shit in my mouth "

What the flying fuck!!!

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By *r and mrsjonesCouple
over a year ago

Manchester

Just this minute had can I fuck her arse and that was it,,,,what a prick

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't call it the worst but certainly my favourite "wait... what?" opening message is this one!

"Subject: Hi, you look amazing

Reading between the lines, am I right in thinking your a TS or have I had one too many?!"

I had my (very obviously droop-to-the-floor natural) boobs and vulva on display at the time, too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine seems rather tame compared to all the above but it did make me giggle.

'If you were a nose, I'd pick you'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fancy abit of fun with a Father and Son?"

errrrrr no!

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By *hocoholicWoman
over a year ago

The big D

"I'd like to lick out your chocolate hole".. Yuck, I think it was a reference to my username.

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow


"Mine was from a woman.

Fuck my fanny as I bend over with my head in the toilet, then flush it, I will shit on your cock as you fuck me then pull out & i will suck the shit off your cock as you cum in my mouth!

From a woman! I ignored her but she sent message after message begging me!

I blocked her in the end.

Beat that!!"

What the fuck is going on in Grimsby

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By *avrick15Man
over a year ago

glasgow

I do regularly get from dudes

"100% blow and go, cum use my mouth and leave"

Erm thanks but says straight in the profile

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

I've a huge text file full of them. Seriously hilarious stuff.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yesterday.

1)`Nice pics House u today'

2) Amazing tits!! Would of loved face tho xx

3) xxxxxxxxxxxx

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By *onkeyandBonesCouple
over a year ago

Staffordshire

Most of the above, the one that sticks out was do you like to gag? If so want to suck my cock till you puke over me!

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By *oi_LucyCouple
over a year ago

Barbados

We had a great one in which some guy mailed a very graphic and violent account of what he wanted to do to Vik. She replied back continuing his story from her point of view which included the hidden dagger she had tucked in her sussies and cutting off his cock. He mailed back calling HER sick lol.

-Matt

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"We had a great one in which some guy mailed a very graphic and violent account of what he wanted to do to Vik. She replied back continuing his story from her point of view which included the hidden dagger she had tucked in her sussies and cutting off his cock. He mailed back calling HER sick lol.

Brill!

-Matt"

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By *edRidingWolfCouple
over a year ago

Lydney


"We had a great one in which some guy mailed a very graphic and violent account of what he wanted to do to Vik. She replied back continuing his story from her point of view which included the hidden dagger she had tucked in her sussies and cutting off his cock. He mailed back calling HER sick lol.

-Matt"

Pinching that idea for the next rapey message

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By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire

The worst first message I ever sent was when typing too quickly from a phone where if my thumb just missed the i or o the keyboard would disappear and frequently I would then accidentally hit the send button before I realised it.

I sent four one and a half word messages before finally sending, as the fifth, "Fuck it, it looks like fate doesn't want us to meet."

(it worked though)

Mr ddc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, I recently had a guy ask me how big I was because he had a small penis and wanted to know if it'd fit. This was on a different site so hopefully he won't read this!

Soooooo dreamy! He would have no chance doggy lol

What have been your worst opening messages received!? "

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By *redfreddyMan
over a year ago

Valencia

I had two particular shockers. The first was from a man who said he had a vagina and could be round my house in 15 mins.

The other was from a rather larger woman asking me if I wanted 'slap her arse, hang on and ride the ripples'.

Both not from this site....

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By *aeBabeWoman
over a year ago

London


"So, I recently had a guy ask me how big I was because he had a small penis and wanted to know if it'd fit. This was on a different site so hopefully he won't read this!

Soooooo dreamy!

What have been your worst opening messages received!? "

"Fuck u!"

Followed up with a correction message:

"Fuck me!*"

Yeeeeah... neither thanks

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a couple ask 'what are you after ?'...fuck me did they want an essay..at my age almost anything ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are so hot you have to marry me now here my number and kik message me

I didn't message

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"So, I recently had a guy ask me how big I was because he had a small penis and wanted to know if it'd fit. This was on a different site so hopefully he won't read this!

Soooooo dreamy!

What have been your worst opening messages received!? "

Had a guy ask me "do you want to join in a threesome with me and my dog".

 (closed, thread got too big)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

just got a message this minute "hi babe, ever had a dog lick your cunt?"!!!!!!!

 (closed, thread got too big)

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