FabSwingers.com mobile

Join us FREE, we're FREE to use

Web's largest swingers site since 2006.

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Confidence is attractive...

Jump to newest
 

By *he horny kinksters OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West

Confidence is very attractive, arrogance less so.

Discuss.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Agreed. Sometimes the line between the two is very fine though

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

To me confidence is very attractive however I notice that to many it isn't a good thing and confident people will be put down while less confident folk are praised.

Confidence is often mistaken for arrogance and vice versa.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There is a thin divide when confidence can become arrogance .

It's a definite balancing act between the 2 very different traits.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The confident have no need for arrogance

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"The confident have no need for arrogance"

Agreed. Although many do mistake the two - terribly arrogant yet justify it (to themselves) as confidence, unable to see the difference.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sometimes people aren't quite sure which side of the line they are on

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

I like people who like themselves get bored with people who are always fishing for compliments, needy types who are grateful for every bit of attention.

Dont like cocky people that much, the ones who feel they have something to prove.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really like Confident and assertive ppl that know what they want ...it's a real turn on for me

However, as soon as someone starts getting arrogant and full of themselves it's...conversation over!

For me confident is knowing what you want and talking openly about it but arrogance is someone who is full of themselves and thinks..."I'm gods gift to you" lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"I really like Confident and assertive ppl that know what they want ...it's a real turn on for me

However, as soon as someone starts getting arrogant and full of themselves it's...conversation over!

For me confident is knowing what you want and talking openly about it but arrogance is someone who is full of themselves and thinks..."I'm gods gift to you" lol "
id agree with that, i like what i call quietly confident men, not the ones that try to convince me they are good in bed. A confident person doesnt have to try and convince you

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iss.HoneyWoman
over a year ago

...


"I really like Confident and assertive ppl that know what they want ...it's a real turn on for me

However, as soon as someone starts getting arrogant and full of themselves it's...conversation over!

For me confident is knowing what you want and talking openly about it but arrogance is someone who is full of themselves and thinks..."I'm gods gift to you" lol "

Plenty of them here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confidence and arrogance are not mutually exclusive, they are two slightly different things.

You can be both confident and arrogant.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really like Confident and assertive ppl that know what they want ...it's a real turn on for me

However, as soon as someone starts getting arrogant and full of themselves it's...conversation over!

For me confident is knowing what you want and talking openly about it but arrogance is someone who is full of themselves and thinks..."I'm gods gift to you" lol id agree with that, i like what i call quietly confident men, not the ones that try to convince me they are good in bed. A confident person doesnt have to try and convince you"

A confident person can start to tease and stimulate your mind prior to any meet...If I had to choose between a guy with good looks and a six-pack and a guy who was OK looking that was capable of mental stimulation ..the latter wins every time

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I really like Confident and assertive ppl that know what they want ...it's a real turn on for me

However, as soon as someone starts getting arrogant and full of themselves it's...conversation over!

For me confident is knowing what you want and talking openly about it but arrogance is someone who is full of themselves and thinks..."I'm gods gift to you" lol

Plenty of them here "

Too true lol

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ah yes, the fine line between confident and cocky!

All important but so often over stepped especially on this site;

Guys telling us they know what we want when clearly they don't,

women telling everyone they are better than them and that they have to jump through all the hoops in the world before they will even consider replying to a message,

couples who believe they are god's gift to your sex life..

but it is hard not to get an ego in this scene you think when things are going well. It's a boost to your self esteem when someone finds you attractive or tells you you are amazing in bed, no matter how secure or confident you are to begin with, that can and often does lead to an ego and arrogance but I'm sure most people don't mean to be like that I'm sure they genuinely believe they are the best.

I'm not sure which side of the line we stand on but I'm sure to someone, somewhere, we have over stepped the mark at some point!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *orwegian BlueMan
over a year ago

Iceland, but Aldi is closer..

Quiet confidence is obvious..

The way someone presents themselves, the way they stand, facial expression, holding a gaze and a natural smile..

It makes for a very attractive personality.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Quiet confidence is obvious..

The way someone presents themselves, the way they stand, facial expression, holding a gaze and a natural smile..

It makes for a very attractive personality."

That does sound like a very attractive trait ....would make a girl go weak at the knees if done right

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Confidence is often mistaken for arrogance and vice versa."


"Confidence and arrogance are not mutually exclusive...

You can be both confident and arrogant."

Such interesting comments.

From everybody's posts it sounds like neither of these things are absolute qualities, but rather a subjective evaluation dependent on social dynamics and the personal feelings of who is doing the evaluating. Eg. I don't mind a bit of arrogance, especially if it is backed by competence, I even like it sometimes. But if it is unfounded, then I will either laugh at/look down on it or resent it depending on whether my inferiority complex is triggered.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Pauls a very confident man but not arrogant or cocky in anyway.

I'm less confident but i'm trying to improve it.

I do seem attracted to men with big egos though unfortunately

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I am happy to be both when it suits me.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rnortholtMan
over a year ago

Waveney Valley

I am confident......he is arrogant

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confidence is a preference for the habitual voyeur of what is known as Parklife.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire


"Quiet confidence is obvious..

The way someone presents themselves, the way they stand, facial expression, holding a gaze and a natural smile..

It makes for a very attractive personality."
and that is exactly the kind of guy im attracted to. In fact its the only kind of guy i will meet. I can tell by the way someone writes a message

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"To me confidence is very attractive however I notice that to many it isn't a good thing and confident people will be put down while less confident folk are praised.

Confidence is often mistaken for arrogance and vice versa."

You mean like the bully who knock the little wimp over.

The girls flock to the guy on the floor to comfort him?

Your right. Arrogance has to be recognised by ones self. Its fine being confident, but try and bring out that trait in others, rather than boast how great you are.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Confidence is very attractive, arrogance less so.

Discuss."

It's a fact.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 04/10/16 11:12:15]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Confidence is very attractive, arrogance less so.

Discuss."

I couldn't agree more. I consider myself confident, but not arrogant. It IS hard to find that line though as everyone finds their personal attraction at different levels of that very blurry line. I have met women in the past to whom I have only had to hold their gaze and give them "that look" and they are instantly turned on.......others have simply stared back and said "what? Have I got something on my nose" haha

It's important to know what YOU want and be able to articulate that (although words are not always needed) but I belive it's even more important to be respectful, even when disrespect is the scenario requested, trust means everything, a confident woman I both respect and trust will instantly turn me on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

To me, confidence with the lack of external awareness (internally focussed) is what is perceived as arrogance.

Might not be the case, projection from others reality/world also adds to the dynamic, well in my experience.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Confidence is often mistaken for arrogance and vice versa.

Confidence and arrogance are not mutually exclusive...

You can be both confident and arrogant.

Such interesting comments.

From everybody's posts it sounds like neither of these things are absolute qualities, but rather a subjective evaluation dependent on social dynamics and the personal feelings of who is doing the evaluating. Eg. I don't mind a bit of arrogance, especially if it is backed by competence, I even like it sometimes. But if it is unfounded, then I will either laugh at/look down on it or resent it depending on whether my inferiority complex is triggered."

Yes, well said. I quite like cocky men myself - if they have good reason to be full of themselves!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Confidence is a preference of the habitual voyeur of what is known as..."

Blur - Parklife

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YSuHrTfcikU

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he horny kinksters OP   Couple
over a year ago

North West

Interesting.

It seems confidence can sometimes be seen by others as arrogance even when it's not intended.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Confidence is very attractive, arrogance less so.

Discuss."

Yeah.

Not much of a discussion. Sorry.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love myself

Im not really bothered if someone finds me arrogant as i know it simply aint the case boys got skills talent looks and a body to die for

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I stay humble I find its the best way to beat arrogance that the opposite to the defect is humble confidence for me personally is something I have had to build over these last few years I feel pretty confident now but you should of seen me 2 years ago

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've got Aspergers. Maybe arrogance is making the wrong assumptions and confidence is making the right ones? To be seen as confident you need to read people correctly have a sense what they want before they have to tell you. Arrogance is making the wrong assumptions about what someone wants, and not asking them before you act.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rtemisiaWoman
over a year ago

Norwich


"Confidence is very attractive, arrogance less so.

Discuss."

I completely agree and as many have said, there is a fine line between the two.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

Confidence is attractive but can be scary and daunting to the weaker... but thats not always a bad thing

Arrogance is ugly.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

Confidence. If you can walk the walk..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not sure that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. In my mind, confidence is based on self esteem and comes from within. Arrogance is externally focused and based on feeling superior and belittling others.

Confidence becomes stronger as we nurture ourselves gradually eliminating beliefs that inhibit us. Self awareness is an important factor.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ostafunMan
over a year ago

near ipswich


"I really like Confident and assertive ppl that know what they want ...it's a real turn on for me

However, as soon as someone starts getting arrogant and full of themselves it's...conversation over!

For me confident is knowing what you want and talking openly about it but arrogance is someone who is full of themselves and thinks..."I'm gods gift to you" lol "
perfectly put.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not sure that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. In my mind, confidence is based on self esteem and comes from within. Arrogance is externally focused and based on feeling superior and belittling others.

Confidence becomes stronger as we nurture ourselves gradually eliminating beliefs that inhibit us. Self awareness is an important factor.

"

I agree. I find when I am feeling more self assured, my confidence increases and I am more successful at everything I do. Belief in myself makes me confident but that is an internal emotion. Arrogance seeks to overpower others. When I feel confident I have no need to feel power over others as I dont feel threatened.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've got Aspergers. Maybe arrogance is making the wrong assumptions and confidence is making the right ones? To be seen as confident you need to read people correctly have a sense what they want before they have to tell you. Arrogance is making the wrong assumptions about what someone wants, and not asking them before you act."

As others have said self awareness is a key part of confidence, and also important in not crossing the line to arrogance.

Having Asperger's as well, I struggle with self awareness, but at least as I'm getting older I'm getting better with the balance between passive/confident/arrogance.

Although confidence is best I'd always choose arrogance over passive/uncofident.

To answer OPs question yes confidence is attractive.

On the other hand:

"The fundamental cause of the trouble is that in the modern world the stupid are cocksure while the intelligent are full of doubt."

We're sick of meeting couples where the male is an ignorant loudmouth and the female is a shy wallflower.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"Confidence and arrogance are not mutually exclusive, they are two slightly different things.

You can be both confident and arrogant."

wb

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm


"Confidence is very attractive, arrogance less so.

Discuss."

Surely its just a case of ones persons perceived confidence is another persons perceived arrogance .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"I'm not sure that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. In my mind, confidence is based on self esteem and comes from within. Arrogance is externally focused and based on feeling superior and belittling others.

Confidence becomes stronger as we nurture ourselves gradually eliminating beliefs that inhibit us. Self awareness is an important factor.

"

But these can be easily mistaken. I had meet someone who I judged to be an arrogant pig. Well, I actually avoided him for as long as I could but he ran the club so I could hardly avoid him forever. He turned out to be such a nice guy but some people think of him as arrogant so-and-so. Go figure

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not sure that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. In my mind, confidence is based on self esteem and comes from within. Arrogance is externally focused and based on feeling superior and belittling others.

Confidence becomes stronger as we nurture ourselves gradually eliminating beliefs that inhibit us. Self awareness is an important factor.

But these can be easily mistaken. I had meet someone who I judged to be an arrogant pig. Well, I actually avoided him for as long as I could but he ran the club so I could hardly avoid him forever. He turned out to be such a nice guy but some people think of him as arrogant so-and-so. Go figure"

What were the outward signs of him appearing to be arrogant?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"I'm not sure that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. In my mind, confidence is based on self esteem and comes from within. Arrogance is externally focused and based on feeling superior and belittling others.

Confidence becomes stronger as we nurture ourselves gradually eliminating beliefs that inhibit us. Self awareness is an important factor.

But these can be easily mistaken. I had meet someone who I judged to be an arrogant pig. Well, I actually avoided him for as long as I could but he ran the club so I could hardly avoid him forever. He turned out to be such a nice guy but some people think of him as arrogant so-and-so. Go figure

What were the outward signs of him appearing to be arrogant?"

Yes, there are. But sometimes, that is just a defence mechanism and nothing more. Once you get to know the person then you can see past the 'arrogance'

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not sure that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. In my mind, confidence is based on self esteem and comes from within. Arrogance is externally focused and based on feeling superior and belittling others.

Confidence becomes stronger as we nurture ourselves gradually eliminating beliefs that inhibit us. Self awareness is an important factor.

But these can be easily mistaken. I had meet someone who I judged to be an arrogant pig. Well, I actually avoided him for as long as I could but he ran the club so I could hardly avoid him forever. He turned out to be such a nice guy but some people think of him as arrogant so-and-so. Go figure

What were the outward signs of him appearing to be arrogant?

Yes, there are. But sometimes, that is just a defence mechanism and nothing more. Once you get to know the person then you can see past the 'arrogance'"

I think arrogance is a defence mechanism, when self-esteem is lacking. That is usually due to not trusting or understanding our our own abilities and strengths and being overly concerned about our weaknesses. Arrogance is born of insecurity and a fear of our natural vulnerability as humans and used as a shield.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *osieWoman
over a year ago

Wembley


"I'm not sure that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. In my mind, confidence is based on self esteem and comes from within. Arrogance is externally focused and based on feeling superior and belittling others.

Confidence becomes stronger as we nurture ourselves gradually eliminating beliefs that inhibit us. Self awareness is an important factor.

But these can be easily mistaken. I had meet someone who I judged to be an arrogant pig. Well, I actually avoided him for as long as I could but he ran the club so I could hardly avoid him forever. He turned out to be such a nice guy but some people think of him as arrogant so-and-so. Go figure

What were the outward signs of him appearing to be arrogant?

Yes, there are. But sometimes, that is just a defence mechanism and nothing more. Once you get to know the person then you can see past the 'arrogance'

I think arrogance is a defence mechanism, when self-esteem is lacking. That is usually due to not trusting or understanding our our own abilities and strengths and being overly concerned about our weaknesses. Arrogance is born of insecurity and a fear of our natural vulnerability as humans and used as a shield."

I think that in his case it was so that he could chuck the tosspots out

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 05/10/16 18:27:54]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I'm not sure that there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance. In my mind, confidence is based on self esteem and comes from within. Arrogance is externally focused and based on feeling superior and belittling others.

Confidence becomes stronger as we nurture ourselves gradually eliminating beliefs that inhibit us. Self awareness is an important factor.

But these can be easily mistaken. I had meet someone who I judged to be an arrogant pig. Well, I actually avoided him for as long as I could but he ran the club so I could hardly avoid him forever. He turned out to be such a nice guy but some people think of him as arrogant so-and-so. Go figure

What were the outward signs of him appearing to be arrogant?

Yes, there are. But sometimes, that is just a defence mechanism and nothing more. Once you get to know the person then you can see past the 'arrogance'

I think arrogance is a defence mechanism, when self-esteem is lacking. That is usually due to not trusting or understanding our our own abilities and strengths and being overly concerned about our weaknesses. Arrogance is born of insecurity and a fear of our natural vulnerability as humans and used as a shield.

I think that in his case it was so that he could chuck the tosspots out "
Ahh! Maybe it was just an act to fulfil his role then

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

Sometimes arrogance is born out of a genuine feeling of superiority though. If someone is, say, lauded as the best footballer in the world - they could remain humble or become an arrogant prick, and I think sometimes it is simply a personal and moral choice!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top