FabSwingers.com forum: Socials on the rise

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is it just my imagination or has the need to have a social before a play multiplied .

I have no issue with socials I just remember my first meets way back were play

Social seems almost a must now.

Is it due to caution?

Not actually wanting to meet?

I don't know

Thoughts please

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By *nceinawhileCouple
over a year ago

Ipswich

Personally we have social meets first because we only want to play with people we feel comfortable with

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dunno but I wish people would behave demanding socials etc.

I travel all over the country so don't have time to waste on a social.

Me and my fuck buddy lives at opposite ends of the country. When we meet we get hotels for a couple of nights. No time for social.

Its couples and single women that want them. I personally hate socials. I dont really give any fucks about getting to know people unless they become regular.

Im here to fuck and be fucked. Not chat about hobbies over a glass of wine.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I dunno but I wish people would behave demanding socials etc.

I travel all over the country so don't have time to waste on a social.

Me and my fuck buddy lives at opposite ends of the country. When we meet we get hotels for a couple of nights. No time for social.

Its couples and single women that want them. I personally hate socials. I dont really give any fucks about getting to know people unless they become regular.

Im here to fuck and be fucked. Not chat about hobbies over a glass of wine. "

Time I moved house

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By *VK_RugbyCouple
over a year ago

Rugby

We won't meet without a social first.

Every one is different, I would hope, although I sometimes wonder, 99% of us are here to experience sex with someone other than your partner, I (the male) won't put my wife at risk of having sex with a complete nut job, having a social first means you can gauge if they are normal, I hate labelling someone as normal but you know what I mean.

A social also takes away the, will they play won't they play on the first meet, assume won't and it's a bonus if you all click and it happens on the night.

There's a lot of couples that enjoy the socialising as much as the sex maybe it's the more mature (that's polite for old) couples looking for regular meets with people they click with socially as well as sexually, let's face it with the amount of timewasters on this site if you find a couple you like why not go back for more rather than waste more time looking for your next conquest.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get why people have them though to establish attraction etc.

I prefer to just invite them over to hotel and then see what happens when they get to our room.

If we don't fancy each other then we just play with our own partners in front of each other which is still hot. Luckily we've never had a problem.

If i met couples alone then I might do one but never have with single men.

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By *andi_shopWoman
over a year ago

rotherham

I use socials to ensure that I'm attracted to the other person and vice versa, last thing I want is for any money and time to be wasted on arranging a hotel meet when there's no playing happening

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think socials are a good way of testing whether you like each other prior to a prospective meet. Nothing more awkward than just meeting someone who's expecting to play and you feel no attraction to them

Kinky

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By *VK_RugbyCouple
over a year ago

Rugby

"I think socials are a good way of testing whether you like each other prior to a prospective meet. Nothing more awkward than just meeting someone who's expecting to play and you feel no attraction to them

Kinky

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I use socials to ensure that I'm attracted to the other person and vice versa, last thing I want is for any money and time to be wasted on arranging a hotel meet when there's no playing happening "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Socials don't appeal to me in the slightest, chatting on here for a bit to see if there's any connection work fine for us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Socials don't appeal to me in the slightest, chatting on here for a bit to see if there's any connection work fine for us "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not a massive fan of socials so clubs work well for me in the sense that if we don't click then it doesn't necessarily mean the end of the night for either party

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By *VK_RugbyCouple
over a year ago

Rugby

Looking at the replies so far it seems to be a couples thing more than singles maybe because couples have each other for sex regardless a social isn't such waste of time and money for them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Better safe than sorry - is best reason for a social first - but I will admit there are the odd occasion when you instinctively know it fees right, which could/might do way with a social..

I have promoted social meets for ages , but mine purley out of very bad experiences

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't claim to be massively experienced in swinging but I am on dating sites. The reason I'd want a social is that you can't rely on photos to really encapsulate what a person is like. To be blunt I'm not interested in just playing with anyone. I'd need to be attracted to them both physically and to a degree mentally. You can't establish that without a meet...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 14/09/16 14:47:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Kinky

"
this yet i hate socials... I prefer clubs but enjoy the relaxation of having a hotel and inviting people over but i really dont like them stopping long

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Imperative to us first ,not into jumping eveyone just because we meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I have a social, it's to establish whether there is an attraction and I will usually play on a first meet if there is...

If there isn't I will usually tell them to avoid any crossed wires

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By *ilk_TreMan
over a year ago

Wherever the party is!

"I dunno but I wish people would behave demanding socials etc.

I travel all over the country so don't have time to waste on a social.

Me and my fuck buddy lives at opposite ends of the country. When we meet we get hotels for a couple of nights. No time for social.

Its couples and single women that want them. I personally hate socials. I dont really give any fucks about getting to know people unless they become regular.

Im here to fuck and be fucked. Not chat about hobbies over a glass of wine. "

Googling "County Durham"...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone has there on preferences. For me I like a social to make sure there's some chemistry. That way I don't end up in a hotel room and have to make a rapid excuse as the person in front of me looks nothing like his pics and actually makes me sick in my mouth

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By *eady and Willing 9Man
over a year ago

Wherever the party is @

"Personally we have social meets first because we only want to play with people we feel comfortable with"

Hit the nail on the head..thread closed lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Everyone has there on preferences. For me I like a social to make sure there's some chemistry. That way I don't end up in a hotel room and have to make a rapid excuse as the person in front of me looks nothing like his pics and actually makes me sick in my mouth

Fancy stopping your age range at 44

Pain in the arse

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

People who like to have a social are compatible in at least one respect with others who like to have a social but not compatible at all with those that don't. I dont think it's too much of a problem

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd always say a social first, but I have been known to zoom off to a Travelodge mid meet if the chemistry gets too much.

This is more likely to happen if you're a Scottish man. Scottish men are my weakness

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd always say a social first, but I have been known to zoom off to a Travelodge mid meet if the chemistry gets too much.

This is more likely to happen if you're a Scottish man. Scottish men are my weakness

Ock eye the noooo

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'd always say a social first, but I have been known to zoom off to a Travelodge mid meet if the chemistry gets too much.

This is more likely to happen if you're a Scottish man. Scottish men are my weakness

Ock eye the noooo"

Show us your Sporran

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I'd always say a social first, but I have been known to zoom off to a Travelodge mid meet if the chemistry gets too much.

This is more likely to happen if you're a Scottish man. Scottish men are my weakness

Ock eye the noooo

Show us your Sporran

I'll just pick up my hat

(Bends over)

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By *ngandnickCouple
over a year ago

Haverhill

"Personally we have social meets first because we only want to play with people we feel comfortable with"

This for us too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is it just my imagination or has the need to have a social before a play multiplied .

I have no issue with socials I just remember my first meets way back were play

Social seems almost a must now.

Is it due to caution?

Not actually wanting to meet?

I don't know

Thoughts please"

Not for us .

We simply don't do socials .

If there's no opportunity to play if we gel on the first meet , the first meet doesn't happen .

Honestly can't see the point of them for us - we know what we want and the people we meet know what they want , so why waste an evening making small talk ?

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By *ondonSwingSocialCouple
over a year ago

London

[Removed by poster at 14/09/16 18:51:55]

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By *ondonSwingSocialCouple
over a year ago

London

Everyone is different and do it for different reasons.

I host socials at bars that often lead to the entire or majority of the group going to a club after in a mass orgy type situation... it's often a fun night for all

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By *ynecplCouple
over a year ago

Newcastle upon Tyne

It might be on the rise but we have always insisted on a social as we only want to play with people we feel comfortable with so no change in modus operandi for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Socials in general for a married man, such as I, just seem odd to me. If girls are local then I might offer a quick hello drive by just to put a voice to a photo, but these are rebuffed (aren't they SS) . Anything more than that and it's just to weird.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tried to organise group socials and constantly check for them on Fab but no joy whatsoever, social dead zone this "neck of the woods". Think they are a good idea especially since personally speaking not particularly interested in going to clubs.

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

Each to their own

We like to make sure theres attraction and we get on face to face ,before we agree to fun.

I think it would be really akward if you just met up at a hotel etc and there was no interest.

As a single on my old prof,it was for safety reasons too.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ever since we started meeting men 3 years ago, we have always included the sexual experience as part of a social experience. Our regards our playmates as friends, so we normally have a drink or a bite to eat and then go somewhere private.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dunno but I wish people would behave demanding socials etc.

I travel all over the country so don't have time to waste on a social.

Me and my fuck buddy lives at opposite ends of the country. When we meet we get hotels for a couple of nights. No time for social.

Its couples and single women that want them. I personally hate socials. I dont really give any fucks about getting to know people unless they become regular.

Im here to fuck and be fucked. Not chat about hobbies over a glass of wine. "

This.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Personally, all these apps and dating site and I think this place to are all drifting into main stream so it's all being toned down now.. When pof first started you could select 'casual encounter' specifically aimed at nsa sex.. Then they ditched it.. Then tinder came along and was branded a shag app and all the early 'dates' were pretty much about sex.. Now tinder Profiles are all squeaky clean and more normal mainstream dating same with badoo and all the rest.. Then the Ashley madison thing.. Why do you think this place is becoming so popular with non swingers??!! There will be something else for just the sex meets soon probably and it'll go same way. Sounds like having a sexual desire outside of a relationship is becoming taboo again... Weird..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Personally, all these apps and dating site and I think this place to are all drifting into main stream so it's all being toned down now.. When pof first started you could select 'casual encounter' specifically aimed at nsa sex.. Then they ditched it.. Then tinder came along and was branded a shag app and all the early 'dates' were pretty much about sex.. Now tinder Profiles are all squeaky clean and more normal mainstream dating same with badoo and all the rest.. Then the Ashley madison thing.. Why do you think this place is becoming so popular with non swingers??!! There will be something else for just the sex meets soon probably and it'll go same way. Sounds like having a sexual desire outside of a relationship is becoming taboo again... Weird.. "

Great post

Think you've nailed it my friend

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Socials don't appeal to me in the slightest, chatting on here for a bit to see if there's any connection work fine for us "

Social only, don't appeal to us either, social with a view to play yes, but social with no option to play, no thank you.... It's not a dating game it's just naughty fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great post

Think you've nailed it my friend "

But didn't this start as a swingers site? Merging socialising and sex has always been what swinging has traditionally been about. I got the impression more recently it has become less for swinging and more for sex with no socialising/friendship. Which is absalutely fine too - all a matter of personal choice.

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

Social meet first for me (most of the time)

I find men send deceiving/blurry face pictures in the main, then I have my safety to factor in as well.

And yes I have had a bad experience before, so I have my reasons!

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"Personally we have social meets first because we only want to play with people we feel comfortable with"

Same here, seems mental to meet for sex and discover you either don't get on or don't fancy each other

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"But didn't this start as a swingers site? Merging socialising and sex has always been what swinging has traditionally been about. I got the impression more recently it has become less for swinging and more for sex with no socialising/friendship. Which is absalutely fine too - all a matter of personal choice. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't claim to be massively experienced in swinging but I am on dating sites. The reason I'd want a social is that you can't rely on photos to really encapsulate what a person is like. To be blunt I'm not interested in just playing with anyone. I'd need to be attracted to them both physically and to a degree mentally. You can't establish that without a meet..."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

For me, I've generally always attracted people with my personality more than my looks, so a social situation is always going to be my go-to way of getting to know people and get into a sexual situation expecially with the amount of choice females and couples have on a site like this. I do visit clubs (rarely, I'm not made of money) and like the dynamic of being able to socialise then progress to playing. A club I used to attend was great as there were no membership charges for single guys, so made it much easier on the wallet and allowed me to be quite regular and get myself known.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Great post

Think you've nailed it my friend

The reason I am drawn to swinging is because of the social side of sex, not wham bam encounters.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We've had vanilla socials, a kinky social where we swapped partners, a social with prospect of play, and a dive straight into play gamble that luckily worked out. So far none of the vanilla ones have been a success. Which makes us suspect you need a certain amount of flirtation to get a sense of chemistry. And the straight to play was fun. But the kinkiest and most rewarding experience by far was a kinky social that stopped short of play, as it left us both highly eroticised. This has made us realise there's a whole world of eroticism that many swingers overlook in their rush to get naked and soft or full swap. For us, then, the social, as well as being a good gauge of attraction, is a new part of a more erotic swinging experience.

Just thought we'd chip in as the assumption of the op was that socials were a backward move to something less Kinky... where for us it's the opposite.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I dunno but I wish people would behave demanding socials etc.

I travel all over the country so don't have time to waste on a social.

Me and my fuck buddy lives at opposite ends of the country. When we meet we get hotels for a couple of nights. No time for social.

Its couples and single women that want them. I personally hate socials. I dont really give any fucks about getting to know people unless they become regular.

Im here to fuck and be fucked. Not chat about hobbies over a glass of wine. "
classic! If I wanted a drink & a chat I'll do that with my nan with a cup of tea & a biscuit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We've had vanilla socials, a kinky social where we swapped partners, a social with prospect of play, and a dive straight into play gamble that luckily worked out. So far none of the vanilla ones have been a success. Which makes us suspect you need a certain amount of flirtation to get a sense of chemistry. And the straight to play was fun. But the kinkiest and most rewarding experience by far was a kinky social that stopped short of play, as it left us both highly eroticised. This has made us realise there's a whole world of eroticism that many swingers overlook in their rush to get naked and soft or full swap. For us, then, the social, as well as being a good gauge of attraction, is a new part of a more erotic swinging experience.

Just thought we'd chip in as the assumption of the op was that socials were a backward move to something less Kinky... where for us it's the opposite. "

All feels a bit plenty of fish these days

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Atm I prefer the social side of things.

xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Long live the social in our humble opinion.

Couldn't think of anything worse than inviting someone to our hotel room only to discover that we don't like them, they are smelly or suffer from being a complete dick.

Some people may be able to tell people to fuck off in this situation.

But alas we are far too polite and respectful.

It would be extremely akward and embarrasing.

We meet people who want to meet up socially first.

This ensures we are meeting people who are similar to us in thinking.

Random fuck and go is not for us thanks.

Mostly

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always plan a social first. A lot easier to handle if there's a connection. I've had a lot of socials (too many) and only a very select few have ended in repeat visits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There's no way I'd meet without a social first. Several reasons.

1. Safety is Paramount. Even if they are verified.

2. I am not always attracted to them in person despite having liked there profiles. Equally they might not be attracted to me.

3. There may be a personality clash that you cannot gauge from a few messages. Or their kinks may entirely focus around something that is not your cup of tea.

Personally I need a level of comfort and trust in someone in order to let go.

That's just me!

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By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

"There's no way I'd meet without a social first. Several reasons.

1. Safety is Paramount. Even if they are verified.

2. I am not always attracted to them in person despite having liked there profiles. Equally they might not be attracted to me.

3. There may be a personality clash that you cannot gauge from a few messages. Or their kinks may entirely focus around something that is not your cup of tea.

Personally I need a level of comfort and trust in someone in order to let go.

That's just me! "
very well put, similar reasons for us, although safety is easier to maintain as a couple

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

Is "socials" a kind of disease brought about by careless intimacy with people you've just met, like gonorrhoea or mingling?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Used to meet without socials, the sex was ok.

Now we always have socials and the sex is amazing, you get to feel comfortable with the person, get to understand what makes them tick and you have the excitement of the build up between meets

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By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

Common sense for a me as a single to have a social first

Safety first, meet and see how they are in person. All going well then..playtime

Fuck n' go ain't my thing

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By *D835Man
over a year ago

London

"Socials don't appeal to me in the slightest, chatting on here for a bit to see if there's any connection work fine for us "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Seems a bit inconclusive if socials are on the rise or not. If they are, then I guess that's what more people finds works. But on the whole it seems that some people enjoy the social aspect of the lifestyle and some don't. Best thing to do it stick with those who share the same approach. That's what we do.

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By *irty130Couple
over a year ago

Bristol Area

I think there's a difference between a social-only meet, and a meet where there is a social aspect to break the ice first.

I honestly can't see the point of going to meet a couple in a bar for a drink and a chat, and just going home again at the end.

But MOST of our meets are arranged to meet in a bar or similar, with loose plans of what could happen later. We have a drink and a flirt, and if everything goes well

, but equally, it could be decided that it wasn't going to work out, and there's not the awkwardness of someone having to leave a more intimate situation.

If we've spent time to pick out our potential meets in advance, then the chance of things not working out is slim.

If there's no option for play, then it's almost like a date, and playing hard to get. *Ain't nobody got time for that!*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I agree but tbh that's what other regular dating sites are for that's how they work.. This is far more sex driven here but increasingly it's becoming more clean and mainstream on hear as the other sites become boring for their original target audience.. But yes I'd never imagine actually assuming sex on the first meet, I need to see and chat in the flesh first to get the fires burning. That's got to be normal surely lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think there's a difference between a social-only meet, and a meet where there is a social aspect to break the ice first.

I honestly can't see the point of going to meet a couple in a bar for a drink and a chat, and just going home again at the end.

But MOST of our meets are arranged to meet in a bar or similar, with loose plans of what could happen later. We have a drink and a flirt, and if everything goes well

, but equally, it could be decided that it wasn't going to work out, and there's not the awkwardness of someone having to leave a more intimate situation.

If we've spent time to pick out our potential meets in advance, then the chance of things not working out is slim.

If there's no option for play, then it's almost like a date, and playing hard to get. *Ain't nobody got time for that!*"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We won't meet without a social first.

A social also takes away the, will they play won't they play on the first meet, assume won't and it's a bonus if you all click and it happens on the night.

This!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although we haven't been on fab that long we always insist on a social. But we never rule out playing that same night.

The one and only time we broke our own rule turned into a disastrous evening that seriously had us considering calling it a day with the whole scene.

I suppose it's a case of once bitten, twice shy, but we are happy with the way we manage our meets and have met some fantastic people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do enjoy a social , its a chance to get to meet some one , who you may have talked to for a while.

an opportunity to share ideas and just get to know some one better

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

In 8 years of meeting all most every meet has had a social although quite often that social has evolved in to play the same evening. I've never really seem the point of a social and if you like each other arrangin a second meet to play although i understand that sometimes that is logistically easier.

The few times I've not bothered with a social have been people where there had been lots of chat but for one reason or another a social has been hard to arrange

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Time is precious

Everyone is busy

It can take months to arrange

And if it's for coffee

Then potententially months until another meet to play can be sorted out

By which time people move on

Leave

Ect ect

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Time is precious

Everyone is busy

It can take months to arrange

And if it's for coffee

Then potententially months until another meet to play can be sorted out

By which time people move on

Leave

Ect ect "

Then look for people who are looking for fuck and go meets. Or go to clubs.

People meet in different ways and beibg flexible is going to pay dividends over exoecting them to change. You do want a social, that's fine but they'll find plenty of others that will meet for one.

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By *it of fun cplCouple
over a year ago

village between York and Hull

For us it is about having a spark and also the fact that that pictures do not tell the full story. Back in the day when we used to meet without a social we have had a few dissapointments as have the guys we have met. People tend to get upset if you go on a blind a meet and day sorry not for us. It is also an added pressure. Having said that when we have arranged a social meet and liked the guy we have played at the first meet.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Time is precious

Everyone is busy

It can take months to arrange

And if it's for coffee

Then potententially months until another meet to play can be sorted out

By which time people move on

Leave

Ect ect

Then look for people who are looking for fuck and go meets. Or go to clubs.

People meet in different ways and beibg flexible is going to pay dividends over exoecting them to change. You do want a social, that's fine but they'll find plenty of others that will meet for one."

You assume way too much

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By *axandbooCouple
over a year ago

Bristol

We have been messed about by timewasters. So with a social first at least that way i dont spend a few hours getting ready to be let down. It also shows that the other person is at least willing.

If they dont show then i can still have a nice night out with dax

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By *heCuriousCoupleCouple
over a year ago

Costa Del Sol

We social partly for safety

Partly because just getting your cock, tits or pussy out isn't really enough.

Need to see if there's an attraction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Time is precious

Everyone is busy

It can take months to arrange

And if it's for coffee

Then potententially months until another meet to play can be sorted out

By which time people move on

Leave

Ect ect "

We haven't found that's the case for us. But we normally have our social on the same night. We play at least once a month, and always play when we want to. No, we certainly don't find the social aspect to the swing scene hampers our play.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"Time is precious

Everyone is busy

It can take months to arrange

And if it's for coffee

Then potententially months until another meet to play can be sorted out

By which time people move on

Leave

Ect ect

I have to agree with this.

I think the more you socialise with someone the better the sex becomes I like to have a drink and a flirt before fun even with a regular play partner for that reason .

but hay each to there own.

there is no right or wrong to this question its a case of do what works best for you and leads to the best out come for you .

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