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"If she's attached then yes you are. If she's unhappy them wait for her to be unattached then enjoy her to your hearts content. She's using you." She has already said she will just stick out her unhappy relationship as her husband is a "good man". I know what you mean about being used but there is a connection between us, its quite confusing but as much as she might be using me I really do want to fuck her lol | |||
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"If she's attached then yes you are. If she's unhappy them wait for her to be unattached then enjoy her to your hearts content. She's using you. She has already said she will just stick out her unhappy relationship as her husband is a "good man". I know what you mean about being used but there is a connection between us, its quite confusing but as much as she might be using me I really do want to fuck her lol" What are your thoughts on cheating David? Do you see it as dishonest and disrespectful, or do you just not care? That is what it comes down to. | |||
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"If she's attached then yes you are. If she's unhappy them wait for her to be unattached then enjoy her to your hearts content. She's using you. She has already said she will just stick out her unhappy relationship as her husband is a "good man". I know what you mean about being used but there is a connection between us, its quite confusing but as much as she might be using me I really do want to fuck her lol What are your thoughts on cheating David? Do you see it as dishonest and disrespectful, or do you just not care? That is what it comes down to." Its an emotive subject with many variables, however in this instance knowing the background I feel a bit better about it although there's still an element of guilt. I really don't know what to do, but I'd rather it was with someone who actually cares for her than a stranger just wanting a fuck. | |||
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"If she's attached then yes you are. If she's unhappy them wait for her to be unattached then enjoy her to your hearts content. She's using you. She has already said she will just stick out her unhappy relationship as her husband is a "good man". I know what you mean about being used but there is a connection between us, its quite confusing but as much as she might be using me I really do want to fuck her lol" You can't stay in an unhappy relationship just because someone is a good person,she needs to cut him free so he can find someone who isn't going to cheat on him and he in turn can find a 'good' woman. If you want to shag her,shag her... | |||
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"She's not from fab, its a girl I've spoken to for around 10 years but never actually met. We got chatting online and have sporadically kept in touch, she was 19 when we first chatted and at uni. The chat would invariably get flirty and we looked into meeting but for a variety of reasons it never happened. She's now married with a young kid and in a really good job and I thought she was happy, out the blue she messaged me on Facebook a few weeks ago asking me cheer her up, the conversation went on and got slightly flirty and she confided in me that she hadn't had sex in 2 years, has needs, misses affection etc. There's now a hotel room booked for a few weeks time, day off work booked by us both and are planning on a few drinks, some dancing and see what happens. I can't help feeling really guilty though. There's an attraction there (always has been) but I can't help like I'm a bad man. Thoughts, advice, abuse all welcome. Thanks" I don't think you're a bad man, I'm in a similar situation, but be prepared, you know what us women are like! It will probably become a regular thing, then she will fall in love with you, then it will all end in tears! | |||
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"She's not from fab, its a girl I've spoken to for around 10 years but never actually met. We got chatting online and have sporadically kept in touch, she was 19 when we first chatted and at uni. The chat would invariably get flirty and we looked into meeting but for a variety of reasons it never happened. She's now married with a young kid and in a really good job and I thought she was happy, out the blue she messaged me on Facebook a few weeks ago asking me cheer her up, the conversation went on and got slightly flirty and she confided in me that she hadn't had sex in 2 years, has needs, misses affection etc. There's now a hotel room booked for a few weeks time, day off work booked by us both and are planning on a few drinks, some dancing and see what happens. I can't help feeling really guilty though. There's an attraction there (always has been) but I can't help like I'm a bad man. Thoughts, advice, abuse all welcome. Thanks I don't think you're a bad man, I'm in a similar situation, but be prepared, you know what us women are like! It will probably become a regular thing, then she will fall in love with you, then it will all end in tears! " It sounds to me it'd be the other way around | |||
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"She's not from fab, its a girl I've spoken to for around 10 years but never actually met. We got chatting online and have sporadically kept in touch, she was 19 when we first chatted and at uni. The chat would invariably get flirty and we looked into meeting but for a variety of reasons it never happened. She's now married with a young kid and in a really good job and I thought she was happy, out the blue she messaged me on Facebook a few weeks ago asking me cheer her up, the conversation went on and got slightly flirty and she confided in me that she hadn't had sex in 2 years, has needs, misses affection etc. There's now a hotel room booked for a few weeks time, day off work booked by us both and are planning on a few drinks, some dancing and see what happens. I can't help feeling really guilty though. There's an attraction there (always has been) but I can't help like I'm a bad man. Thoughts, advice, abuse all welcome. Thanks I don't think you're a bad man, I'm in a similar situation, but be prepared, you know what us women are like! It will probably become a regular thing, then she will fall in love with you, then it will all end in tears! " Since he's the single person in this, I'd say the other way round is more likely to happen. | |||
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"I wouldn't do anything that was going to make me feel guilty. If you feel uncomfortable with it, don't do it. You don't owe her anything." | |||
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"She's not from fab, its a girl I've spoken to for around 10 years but never actually met. We got chatting online and have sporadically kept in touch, she was 19 when we first chatted and at uni. The chat would invariably get flirty and we looked into meeting but for a variety of reasons it never happened. She's now married with a young kid and in a really good job and I thought she was happy, out the blue she messaged me on Facebook a few weeks ago asking me cheer her up, the conversation went on and got slightly flirty and she confided in me that she hadn't had sex in 2 years, has needs, misses affection etc. There's now a hotel room booked for a few weeks time, day off work booked by us both and are planning on a few drinks, some dancing and see what happens. I can't help feeling really guilty though. There's an attraction there (always has been) but I can't help like I'm a bad man. Thoughts, advice, abuse all welcome. Thanks I don't think you're a bad man, I'm in a similar situation, but be prepared, you know what us women are like! It will probably become a regular thing, then she will fall in love with you, then it will all end in tears! Since he's the single person in this, I'd say the other way round is more likely to happen. " I Duno been there myself, sexless marriage, looking for something else and there it was, and, as I thought at the time, everything i was missing. | |||
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"She's not from fab, its a girl I've spoken to for around 10 years but never actually met. We got chatting online and have sporadically kept in touch, she was 19 when we first chatted and at uni. The chat would invariably get flirty and we looked into meeting but for a variety of reasons it never happened. She's now married with a young kid and in a really good job and I thought she was happy, out the blue she messaged me on Facebook a few weeks ago asking me cheer her up, the conversation went on and got slightly flirty and she confided in me that she hadn't had sex in 2 years, has needs, misses affection etc. There's now a hotel room booked for a few weeks time, day off work booked by us both and are planning on a few drinks, some dancing and see what happens. I can't help feeling really guilty though. There's an attraction there (always has been) but I can't help like I'm a bad man. Thoughts, advice, abuse all welcome. Thanks I don't think you're a bad man, I'm in a similar situation, but be prepared, you know what us women are like! It will probably become a regular thing, then she will fall in love with you, then it will all end in tears! Since he's the single person in this, I'd say the other way round is more likely to happen. I Duno been there myself, sexless marriage, looking for something else and there it was, and, as I thought at the time, everything i was missing. " Ah my experience has been the other way round, which is why I mostly meet fellow married people now. | |||
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"If she's attached then yes you are. If she's unhappy them wait for her to be unattached then enjoy her to your hearts content. She's using you. She has already said she will just stick out her unhappy relationship as her husband is a "good man". I know what you mean about being used but there is a connection between us, its quite confusing but as much as she might be using me I really do want to fuck her lol What are your thoughts on cheating David? Do you see it as dishonest and disrespectful, or do you just not care? That is what it comes down to. Its an emotive subject with many variables, however in this instance knowing the background I feel a bit better about it although there's still an element of guilt. I really don't know what to do, but I'd rather it was with someone who actually cares for her than a stranger just wanting a fuck." Remember you're only getting her side of the story, she could say anything and you have to take it as truth, she may be very happy and having regular sex, but wants to play away *grass is greener bollocks If you feel bad enough to write this, then I wouldn't see her. But you've made your mind up coz you've booked the hotel If it was me, I'd wait until they're out of the relationship, although I wouldn't speak to them if they were married in the first place, but that's just me | |||
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"If she's attached then yes you are. If she's unhappy them wait for her to be unattached then enjoy her to your hearts content. She's using you. She has already said she will just stick out her unhappy relationship as her husband is a "good man". I know what you mean about being used but there is a connection between us, its quite confusing but as much as she might be using me I really do want to fuck her lol What are your thoughts on cheating David? Do you see it as dishonest and disrespectful, or do you just not care? That is what it comes down to. Its an emotive subject with many variables, however in this instance knowing the background I feel a bit better about it although there's still an element of guilt. I really don't know what to do, but I'd rather it was with someone who actually cares for her than a stranger just wanting a fuck." If you "cared for her" you would suggest that she refocuses on her husband and child and sort out the issues there first before destroying their lives and probably her own. On the other hand if you want an easy fuck.... | |||
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"Shag her, you know you want to. And probably will " Yep,why he's asking I really don't know... | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? " That saddens me,op if you have any humanity whatsoever you would have a lot to feel guilty about. What if it were you that were married and your wife stayed with you because you were an awfully 'nice' chap,but thought so little of you that she screwed all Tom Dick and Harry behind your back,whilst you were tucking little one into bed,how do you think you would feel her coming home with another guy's cum all over her and his smell?! | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? That saddens me,op if you have any humanity whatsoever you would have a lot to feel guilty about. What if it were you that were married and your wife stayed with you because you were an awfully 'nice' chap,but thought so little of you that she screwed all Tom Dick and Harry behind your back,whilst you were tucking little one into bed,how do you think you would feel her coming home with another guy's cum all over her and his smell?!" | |||
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"Even married women wash, by the way " Don't you just walk around dripping in cum??? | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? " I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S | |||
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"Even married women wash, by the way Don't you just walk around dripping in cum??? " Yes yes I know!!! I was making a point,no need to get defensive now | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S" Why didn't you speak to your mother again? | |||
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"Even married women wash, by the way Don't you just walk around dripping in cum??? " No, is that what I'm supposed to be doing? | |||
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"She's not from fab, its a girl I've spoken to for around 10 years but never actually met. We got chatting online and have sporadically kept in touch, she was 19 when we first chatted and at uni. The chat would invariably get flirty and we looked into meeting but for a variety of reasons it never happened. She's now married with a young kid and in a really good job and I thought she was happy, out the blue she messaged me on Facebook a few weeks ago asking me cheer her up, the conversation went on and got slightly flirty and she confided in me that she hadn't had sex in 2 years, has needs, misses affection etc. There's now a hotel room booked for a few weeks time, day off work booked by us both and are planning on a few drinks, some dancing and see what happens. I can't help feeling really guilty though. There's an attraction there (always has been) but I can't help like I'm a bad man. Thoughts, advice, abuse all welcome. Thanks" Friendship is precious ...fucks are ten a penny.... | |||
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"Even married women wash, by the way Don't you just walk around dripping in cum??? No, is that what I'm supposed to be doing? " No Ruby I'm sure you're a lot wiser than that | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S Why didn't you speak to your mother again?" I & my sisters didn't want to hear it, We did not want to hear that in effect it was our fault she'd stayed in an unhappy marriage.I am my fathers son though & a stubborn sob, my mother more doted on my sisters anyway, lent them tens of thousands within months then complained to me when she wasn't getting any back. When I chased my sisters on her behalf she would then ring and have a go at me! There is just no way I could do it myself which is why it probably took me as many marriages and as long as it did to decide to have kids.. S | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S" So she made the sacrifice to stay so as not to upset your childhood, and as an adult you cut her out of your life just like that? What a caring daughter you are! | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S So she made the sacrifice to stay so as not to upset your childhood, and as an adult you cut her out of your life just like that? What a caring daughter you are! " *son | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S Why didn't you speak to your mother again? I & my sisters didn't want to hear it, We did not want to hear that in effect it was our fault she'd stayed in an unhappy marriage.I am my fathers son though & a stubborn sob, my mother more doted on my sisters anyway, lent them tens of thousands within months then complained to me when she wasn't getting any back. When I chased my sisters on her behalf she would then ring and have a go at me! There is just no way I could do it myself which is why it probably took me as many marriages and as long as it did to decide to have kids.. S" Your poor mother is better off without you by the sounds of it. | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S So she made the sacrifice to stay so as not to upset your childhood, and as an adult you cut her out of your life just like that? What a caring daughter you are! " Or how about,the mother made her decision and should have kept her mouth shut about it, how could her children have any kind of positive attitude about relationships when they find that their role model was a sham all along? | |||
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"I've been cheated on, it's not nice dude. Don't be the twat " | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S So she made the sacrifice to stay so as not to upset your childhood, and as an adult you cut her out of your life just like that? What a caring daughter you are! Or how about,the mother made her decision and should have kept her mouth shut about it, how could her children have any kind of positive attitude about relationships when they find that their role model was a sham all along?" Or maybe have some empathy that his mother had a shit life so that he and his sisters didn't, that their dad wasn't the saint he seems to think, and that perhaps it's a huge relief to her to finally be able to share it? I'm not saying the revelation shouldn't cause any upset, but the poster comes across as self-centred, jealous and spiteful | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S So she made the sacrifice to stay so as not to upset your childhood, and as an adult you cut her out of your life just like that? What a caring daughter you are! " This was S, & he knows believe me but he didn't ask for the sacrifice & didn't want the sacrifice & his sisters only stayed in touch to borrow money of which there was a lot..Basically they became their mother. There is 15yrs age difference between S and his nearest older sibling, so in his eyes his mother could have walked then before he was born, but had another kid in this "loveless" marriage which doesn't figure. So that then to S meant the marriage probably became loveless after they had the "neccesary" son..So it was all his fault not his sisters.. To him his very existence created a loveless marriage and that was something he found too much to deal with at the time, I will say though he was only 26 and had just got married when his father died. H | |||
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"The minute a stranger on the internet's hypothetical situations begin to upset you, it's probably time to log out. " I'm sure it's also a prerequisite to being sectioned under the mental heath act. | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S So she made the sacrifice to stay so as not to upset your childhood, and as an adult you cut her out of your life just like that? What a caring daughter you are! Or how about,the mother made her decision and should have kept her mouth shut about it, how could her children have any kind of positive attitude about relationships when they find that their role model was a sham all along? Or maybe have some empathy that his mother had a shit life so that he and his sisters didn't, that their dad wasn't the saint he seems to think, and that perhaps it's a huge relief to her to finally be able to share it? I'm not saying the revelation shouldn't cause any upset, but the poster comes across as self-centred, jealous and spiteful " The mother stayed of her own free will, nobody forced her to,and there's certainly no reason why her child should feel guilty over the mother's choices.l | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S So she made the sacrifice to stay so as not to upset your childhood, and as an adult you cut her out of your life just like that? What a caring daughter you are! Or how about,the mother made her decision and should have kept her mouth shut about it, how could her children have any kind of positive attitude about relationships when they find that their role model was a sham all along?" Thank you, you'd all think it was easy me typing it wouldn't you? I knew putting it up as a warning to others would kick off comment, If you are going to do it fo it forever keep your tongue!! No one is perfect, I certainly am not and am now in tears but if it stops one person saying that dreadful thing to their kids then it was worth all the vitriol that follows or if it stops one son or daughter reacting as I did then that is just as good.. S | |||
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"The minute a stranger on the internet's hypothetical situations begin to upset you, it's probably time to log out. I'm sure it's also a prerequisite to being sectioned under the mental heath act." Don't be silly now! | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S So she made the sacrifice to stay so as not to upset your childhood, and as an adult you cut her out of your life just like that? What a caring daughter you are! Or how about,the mother made her decision and should have kept her mouth shut about it, how could her children have any kind of positive attitude about relationships when they find that their role model was a sham all along? Thank you, you'd all think it was easy me typing it wouldn't you? I knew putting it up as a warning to others would kick off comment, If you are going to do it fo it forever keep your tongue!! No one is perfect, I certainly am not and am now in tears but if it stops one person saying that dreadful thing to their kids then it was worth all the vitriol that follows or if it stops one son or daughter reacting as I did then that is just as good.. S" Sounds like you regret your actions...pick up the phone, I'm sure your mum would love to hear your voice | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S So she made the sacrifice to stay so as not to upset your childhood, and as an adult you cut her out of your life just like that? What a caring daughter you are! Or how about,the mother made her decision and should have kept her mouth shut about it, how could her children have any kind of positive attitude about relationships when they find that their role model was a sham all along? Thank you, you'd all think it was easy me typing it wouldn't you? I knew putting it up as a warning to others would kick off comment, If you are going to do it fo it forever keep your tongue!! No one is perfect, I certainly am not and am now in tears but if it stops one person saying that dreadful thing to their kids then it was worth all the vitriol that follows or if it stops one son or daughter reacting as I did then that is just as good.. S Sounds like you regret your actions...pick up the phone, I'm sure your mum would love to hear your voice " Just a little too late for that now, but I will say that when he died & she said it I looked back on my childhood & there were signs I wasn't the same in my mums eyes & we were always arguing and in each others faces anyway, perhaps I really was like my dad, but her saying what she did maybe improved me & the subsequent life of my kids? because I made damn sure I and those around me were happy before starting a family. As said, I'll open myself up if it stops someone else making the same mistake, whatever role they play in the family. Anyway, I'm saying no more, I don't think it's neccesary, off to walk the dog.. S | |||
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"I am in exactly the same situation. I met an ex 20 yrs.later. In those 20 yrs she had married with 2 daughters.she hadn't had sex for 15 yrs. She was gagging for it.We have been having an affair for last 6 yrs. We have had our ups and downs like any relationship and she feels guilty sometimes, I don't, why should I? She is the one cheating not me. She has said ' our fling has flung or I can't do this'. I have always persuaded her that she can have the best both worlds. We have talked about her leaving him but won't happen until kids have fled the nest. Suits me If it suits you just do it. Don't feel guilty. Why should you? I will say this regarding the above, When my dad died I stayed with my mum to sort out all the financials & she confided in me that "If it wasen't for you kids I would have left him years ago" I took it as part of grieving but overheard her say the same to my older sisters on the phone..So six months down the road & it's been niggling me so I say did she mean it? Yes was the response,I didn't leave home till I was 26 I could have at 19 but had no reason too.. I never spoke to my mother again. So I suggest if in this situation you never ever tell the kids even as adults.. S So she made the sacrifice to stay so as not to upset your childhood, and as an adult you cut her out of your life just like that? What a caring daughter you are! Or how about,the mother made her decision and should have kept her mouth shut about it, how could her children have any kind of positive attitude about relationships when they find that their role model was a sham all along? Thank you, you'd all think it was easy me typing it wouldn't you? I knew putting it up as a warning to others would kick off comment, If you are going to do it fo it forever keep your tongue!! No one is perfect, I certainly am not and am now in tears but if it stops one person saying that dreadful thing to their kids then it was worth all the vitriol that follows or if it stops one son or daughter reacting as I did then that is just as good.. S Sounds like you regret your actions...pick up the phone, I'm sure your mum would love to hear your voice Just a little too late for that now, but I will say that when he died & she said it I looked back on my childhood & there were signs I wasn't the same in my mums eyes & we were always arguing and in each others faces anyway, perhaps I really was like my dad, but her saying what she did maybe improved me & the subsequent life of my kids? because I made damn sure I and those around me were happy before starting a family. As said, I'll open myself up if it stops someone else making the same mistake, whatever role they play in the family. Anyway, I'm saying no more, I don't think it's neccesary, off to walk the dog.. S" I tink your assuming some kind o resentment rrom yo mother towards you for the unhappy marriage she felt trapped in. Now there may be element of truth to that but its still a huge assumption to make. You need to talk this over with your mother, before its too late and your left with unanswered questions and regret. | |||
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"I left my ex (my kids dad) nearly 6 years ago we were together 14 years. We were both unhappy and the sex had vanished we loved each other just weren't in love. My children were only 3 and 5. Rather than me go off looking elsewhere or him I decided after months of turmoil and being sad to leave as we both deserved someone to make us happy it was the hardest descision I've ever made and it's not been easy as he wouldn't leave so I moved into a friends with 2 young kids and left him in our 4bed detached home I was skint, he took my car off me but I somehow managed. Long story short I didn't want in 20 yrs time to be miserable and my kids ask me 'mum why didn't you split up years ago' I'm much happier even though life's harder therefore my kids are happy. He's Married and seems happy I'm single but wouldn't change my decision. " | |||
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"There is a difference between two people meeting to enjoy each other's company and indulge their sexual desires and having an affair. The former should be fun and ultimately ended without bad feeling. The latter is emotionally more significant. From the OPs post this certainly looks far more likely the latter. Either both of you should accept that this could lead to the end of her marriage and you two getting together or it shouldn't start at all..." | |||
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