FabSwingers.com forum: Thoughts on being accompanied to a club?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I get lots of people (mainly guys) offering to pick me up and take me to a club. I've been many times and they just say their afraid to go on their own and would like someone to accompany them.

I always refuse as I prefer to make my own way there. Part of me thinks their only after one thing which is why I never take any up on the offer. Most times I don't play when I go.

My reasoning is I may not be attracted to them on meeting so wouldn't play with them at the club which could disappoint them after them taking me.

I'm thinking I'm doing the right thing this way.

What's your thoughts and has anyone been offered to be taken to clubs etc and how have you approached it?

Sonya x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get lots of people (mainly guys) offering to pick me up and take me to a club. I've been many times and they just say their afraid to go on their own and would like someone to accompany them.

I always refuse as I prefer to make my own way there. Part of me thinks their only after one thing which is why I never take any up on the offer. Most times I don't play when I go.

My reasoning is I may not be attracted to them on meeting so wouldn't play with them at the club which could disappoint them after them taking me.

I'm thinking I'm doing the right thing this way.

What's your thoughts and has anyone been offered to be taken to clubs etc and how have you approached it?

Sonya x"
say yes but make it plain that it's a no obligation to play deal same a buying a girl a drink in a pub don't mean she's going to drop her nix later

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By *ason_silverMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

"I get lots of people (mainly guys) offering to pick me up and take me to a club. I've been many times and they just say their afraid to go on their own and would like someone to accompany them.

I always refuse as I prefer to make my own way there. Part of me thinks their only after one thing which is why I never take any up on the offer. Most times I don't play when I go.

My reasoning is I may not be attracted to them on meeting so wouldn't play with them at the club which could disappoint them after them taking me.

I'm thinking I'm doing the right thing this way.

What's your thoughts and has anyone been offered to be taken to clubs etc and how have you approached it?

Sonya x"

Its nice to see both halves of the conversation.

I did offer to take a lady to a club - but with a bit of retrospective analysis I realized - I was pushing too hard - on the other side tho - too weak

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

Hmm very good post I have been asked if I would like to go with a lady for some one to hold her hand so to speak and make sure she is safe if we play we play if not I always tell her if anything happens iam at the bar or smoking room

I feel it is a very good deal she gets to go and have fun but still feel safe and I get to go places with out becoming a member

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots

On numerous occasions we have been asked to take people to the club because they are too nervous to go on their own...not sure if this really is the reason but we have always refused as we wouldn't want to feel any kind of obligation to someone else.

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By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

I couldn't walk in by myself x

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

"I couldn't walk in by myself x"

Do it it's the best feeling ever once your sat down relaxing knowing you have done it on your own no help proving to your self you can do it

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By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

No way in gods earth I could x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I couldn't walk in by myself x"

I'm a real wuss and I have gone on my own. Very very daunting, but email the club in advance and explain and they really really look after you. I have yet to be to a club which doesn't support new customers impeccably.

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By *mallteaserWoman
over a year ago

Central

"I couldn't walk in by myself x

Thank you, never thought of emailing ahead x

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

Oh you big girls lol its great really the staff every where I have been are great even to us single guys lol always looking after you and making sure your ok and feel safe and happy

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By *reykiwi500Man
over a year ago

West Kent (near Tonbridge)

"I couldn't walk in by myself x"

Yeah I can understand that. It can feel a bit daunting. As well as the great advice of phoning/emailing ahead, maybe go to a venue with someone first so at least you feel comfortable with the place before trying it on your own? Might help if you want to go on your own at some stage.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If I get chatting to a new person, and they haven't been to a club but mentioned they would like to go.

I've offered to take them, with no obligation to play, done this a handful of times now and they have always said it wasn't anything like they imagined a club to be.

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By *not69Man
over a year ago

Lancashire

"I couldn't walk in by myself x

You know me and you know id never have any expectations so if any time you want to go to a club but are nervous about going by yourself just give me a shout. I'd gladly hold your hand. Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hmm very good post I have been asked if I would like to go with a lady for some one to hold her hand so to speak and make sure she is safe if we play we play if not I always tell her if anything happens iam at the bar or smoking room

I feel it is a very good deal she gets to go and have fun but still feel safe and I get to go places with out becoming a member "

There is something very reassuring about having a man with you. My first few times at a club I went alone. Men have offered to give me a lift to and from the club but I wouldn't accept until I knew them better and had met them face to face a few times

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would happily escort someone to a club, whether for a social or play meet. Not only would I potentially get to meet a new friend or playmate, it would allow me to perhaps get acquainted with a new club I haven't been to before without the added single guy premiums. Plus there's then the possibility of meeting other new friends once in their. It's a win/win situation for me. Just need to find someone to escort now!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get lots of people (mainly guys) offering to pick me up and take me to a club. I've been many times and they just say their afraid to go on their own and would like someone to accompany them.

I always refuse as I prefer to make my own way there. Part of me thinks their only after one thing which is why I never take any up on the offer. Most times I don't play when I go.

My reasoning is I may not be attracted to them on meeting so wouldn't play with them at the club which could disappoint them after them taking me.

I'm thinking I'm doing the right thing this way.

What's your thoughts and has anyone been offered to be taken to clubs etc and how have you approached it?

Sonya x"

I was offered and I went. I could t have gone with anyone nicer. No pressure to play with him or anyone else.

If you find someone you feel comfortable talking too, maybe you can broach the subject of no promises of play.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

we had a friend who took pity on a guy who wanted someone to accompany him to a club she went to as a regular. He ended up acting like a complete arsehole and she felt so responsible for his behaviour that she was too embarrassed to ever go back due to everyone associating her with him...

offer to meet someone inside just to say hello and see how things go. then you can turn up and leave under your own steam and not be caught up in someone else's schedule. You're also not then responsible for or associated with that person either

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"we had a friend who took pity on a guy who wanted someone to accompany him to a club she went to as a regular. He ended up acting like a complete arsehole and she felt so responsible for his behaviour that she was too embarrassed to ever go back due to everyone associating her with him...

Yes this seems the best way to think about it.

I have no problems attending on my own and always have done previously so I'll stick to this.

I've always felt comfortable in the one I attend regularly ever since I started going.

Possibly should start looking into other clubs for a change.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I've had loads of blokes offering to take me to clubs, enough that I have had to write all over my profile that I only go with hubby (when profile isn't hidden). There is no way I am getting in a car with a stranger and being driven to the middle of nowhere.

Even if he says he isn't expecting sex in exchange for a lift, I know it is still there even in the back of his mind. What if after I turn down the chance to play with him I get left there with no way home.

Not worth the hassle.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We agree with how you do it op.. We don't get chance to go out very often, so when we do we want to just see who is there on the night rather than feeling obliged to stay with someone we pre arranged to meet and not really clicking. Would spoil the night.. Same goes for meets at someone's house. thats why we only go to clubs

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By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside

i have in the past organised socials for newbies on a night when single guys can go, so they can experience a club for the first time.

no i dont take them if i havent met them at least socially first and thats not only because of your reason OP, but because i dont want to break club rules of entering as a couple for them to split of from you once in the club...i respect club policy more than that..

so if i havent a desire to play with them during the evening or im not staying with them overnight there, i dont take them in.

ive suggested they come along themselves and when inside come say hello socially before, but thats it xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Took a newbie to a club recently and never will again, hated it. It's like you have to babysit them, checking they're ok, seeing of there's anything/anywhere they want to go. Much prefer going alone do whatever I want without the worry of the person I took along.

I will go to clubs with people I've known a while but that's it.

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By *edandgingerCouple
over a year ago

Amersham

We often get asked about visits to a club, get asked about the club itself, how many people go, how many out of the people there are blokes/women/couples? What happens if I get an erection while I'm there? All questions that we cannot answer, and all because they are nervous. We always tell them to read the reviews, and check the forum, or meet section, or put it on their status that they are a first timer and want someone to go with them. We only offer to meet them at the club, not come with us, as we don't want to feel obliged to play or look after them lol

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