FabSwingers.com forum: Public Face Pic Debate

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This has probably been posted 100 times but curiosity has got the better of me...

Following a discussion on numerous occasions with a handful of fab members via PM, there seems to be a a lot of double standards surrounding face pics not being actively open on men's profiles.

Granted there has to be a hint of attraction from seeing a face pic - but in the event of faceless females, couples (and even gents) stating that since we don't have openly accessible face pics so they don't want to chat, I'd like to know what are other Fabbers' thoughts are on this?

Discretion is a bad thing (or) no face pic regardless of being available privately is still a bad thing?

Thanks in advance!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We hardly ever get asked for face pics from men - and we nearly always are provided with face pics by men without needing to ask.

And there's the problem because there are enough offers to not bother with those who don't send them.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too shy to make my face public.

How's my beaver?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andi_shopWoman
over a year ago

rotherham

It's not about having them open in public pics, just send one with your first message is all I ask for

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Aspects of this website and forum can be seen in search engines to people without a profile.

I'm not putting anything recognisable here apart from in private messages.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I totally understand not having public facepics,but no excuse not to have any in private in this day and age.

If someone won't send one,we just move on ,we all have a need for privacy .

Miss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Aspects of this website and forum can be seen in search engines to people without a profile.

I'm not putting anything recognisable here apart from in private messages. "

I recognise your wedding ring.

Your wife pointed it out before our night of passion.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I totally understand not having public facepics,but no excuse not to have any in private in this day and age.

If someone won't send one,we just move on ,we all have a need for privacy .

Miss "

There are plenty of legitimate reasons not to upload face pics to any part of this site - not having any idea where they're stored or who can access them being one thing.

That doesn't change that as there are enough men who are willing to send their face pics, those who don't will struggle.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As above, its good to have a face pic attached to first message or at least after a few messages if you get on. I hate it when they say I have got face pics but i need to add you on snapchat/Kik/WhatsApp to show you.. Hmm no thanks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I totally understand not having public facepics,but no excuse not to have any in private in this day and age.

If someone won't send one,we just move on ,we all have a need for privacy .

Miss "

Totally agreed. A good number of users don't live for the physical lifestyle and have to attain some form of privacy.

I've just never seen the necessity of needing one openly to some.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"I totally understand not having public facepics,but no excuse not to have any in private in this day and age.

If someone won't send one,we just move on ,we all have a need for privacy .

Miss

There are plenty of legitimate reasons not to upload face pics to any part of this site - not having any idea where they're stored or who can access them being one thing.

That doesn't change that as there are enough men who are willing to send their face pics, those who don't will struggle."

While i understand that people worry about showing face pics,how do they expect to get meets?

On my single profile i think i heard every excuse going,including will email them,or its only a drink why do you need that?.

At the end of the day its peoples choice i guess,but they can't then moan about not getting meets.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"As above, its good to have a face pic attached to first message or at least after a few messages if you get on. I hate it when they say I have got face pics but i need to add you on snapchat/Kik/WhatsApp to show you.. Hmm no thanks

Awwwww, those poor souls who will only do Kik. How proud their partners must be

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edRapscallionMan
over a year ago

London

"Too shy to make my face public.

How's my beaver?

Dam!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I totally understand not having public facepics,but no excuse not to have any in private in this day and age.

If someone won't send one,we just move on ,we all have a need for privacy .

Miss

There are plenty of legitimate reasons not to upload face pics to any part of this site - not having any idea where they're stored or who can access them being one thing.

That doesn't change that as there are enough men who are willing to send their face pics, those who don't will struggle.

While i understand that people worry about showing face pics,how do they expect to get meets?

On my single profile i think i heard every excuse going,including will email them,or its only a drink why do you need that?.

At the end of the day its peoples choice i guess,but they can't then moan about not getting meets.

We almost never send them and have had quite a few meets on various profiles and different sites.

It's only really a problem if you're a single bloke - well at least it seems that way based on our experience..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree privacy is the best feature on here if people want to see you request a picture but too many pic collectors

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"I totally understand not having public facepics,but no excuse not to have any in private in this day and age.

If someone won't send one,we just move on ,we all have a need for privacy .

Miss

There are plenty of legitimate reasons not to upload face pics to any part of this site - not having any idea where they're stored or who can access them being one thing.

That doesn't change that as there are enough men who are willing to send their face pics, those who don't will struggle.

While i understand that people worry about showing face pics,how do they expect to get meets?

On my single profile i think i heard every excuse going,including will email them,or its only a drink why do you need that?.

At the end of the day its peoples choice i guess,but they can't then moan about not getting meets.

We almost never send them and have had quite a few meets on various profiles and different sites.

It's only really a problem if you're a single bloke - well at least it seems that way based on our experience.."

I would never meet a couple without seeing both of them ,some may be happy to take a chance but not us.

We need to know earlish that there is some atraction

Not criticising you,it obviously works for you.

Miss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I agree privacy is the best feature on here if people want to see you request a picture but too many pic collectors "

There are... And mainly guys pretending to be women to gain pics for their own needs.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love the fact that couples demand a face pic then delete and don't have the courtesy to say - sorry not for me.... Plus why ask for a face pic of my profile isn't worth reading to see if there's similar interest? Feels like double standards but market forces win I guess.... Moan over lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I ask for a face pic with a first message or I won't chat to them.

I won't message anyone first who hasn't got a face pic for me to see on their profile unless I message them because of something they've said on the forums.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I totally understand not having public facepics,but no excuse not to have any in private in this day and age.

If someone won't send one,we just move on ,we all have a need for privacy .

Miss

There are plenty of legitimate reasons not to upload face pics to any part of this site - not having any idea where they're stored or who can access them being one thing.

That doesn't change that as there are enough men who are willing to send their face pics, those who don't will struggle.

While i understand that people worry about showing face pics,how do they expect to get meets?

On my single profile i think i heard every excuse going,including will email them,or its only a drink why do you need that?.

At the end of the day its peoples choice i guess,but they can't then moan about not getting meets.

We almost never send them and have had quite a few meets on various profiles and different sites.

It's only really a problem if you're a single bloke - well at least it seems that way based on our experience.."

If that works for you then fantastic.

Personally I would never meet anyone without seeing a face pic.

One experience from first going into online swinging back in the mid 2000's had me heading to a meet with a supposed 25 year old woman's who was clearly 30 years older when she opened the door (Not a bad thing and I prefer the older lady). But from her description being jaded online (firm body/Looks younger), she resembled Zelda from Terrahawks....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"I totally understand not having public facepics,but no excuse not to have any in private in this day and age.

If someone won't send one,we just move on ,we all have a need for privacy .

Miss

There are plenty of legitimate reasons not to upload face pics to any part of this site - not having any idea where they're stored or who can access them being one thing.

That doesn't change that as there are enough men who are willing to send their face pics, those who don't will struggle.

While i understand that people worry about showing face pics,how do they expect to get meets?

On my single profile i think i heard every excuse going,including will email them,or its only a drink why do you need that?.

At the end of the day its peoples choice i guess,but they can't then moan about not getting meets.

We almost never send them and have had quite a few meets on various profiles and different sites.

It's only really a problem if you're a single bloke - well at least it seems that way based on our experience..

If that works for you then fantastic.

Personally I would never meet anyone without seeing a face pic.

Exactly,plus they could be anyone.I always think of catfish lol.

I just don't see why i should give out my info for a pic.To be fair it hasnt happened on our couple profile .

Miss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was scared of zelda!! Nice work if you went through with the meet lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If that works for you then fantastic.

Personally I would never meet anyone without seeing a face pic.

90% of the people we've met look at best only vaguely like their photos. Almost none of them look the age they claim

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

Exactly,plus they could be anyone.I always think of catfish lol.

Miss"

Even then it may not be them, or its a really old picture.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If that works for you then fantastic.

Personally I would never meet anyone without seeing a face pic.

90% of the people we've met look at best only vaguely like their photos. Almost none of them look the age they claim

The thing is - curiosity. I've never had a huge problem with giving out a face pic of they want to know what I look like opposed to just seeing an ass or cock pic (whether it's social side which I am enjoying more than the physical side). But non-response to requesting a pic back does get my back up.

Life goes on!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If that works for you then fantastic.

Personally I would never meet anyone without seeing a face pic.

90% of the people we've met look at best only vaguely like their photos. Almost none of them look the age they claim

I've been lucky then because most of the people I've met look better than their photos

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *orkie321bWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

I don't have a problem with people choosing to keep their face pics private. We all have reasons why we need to be discrete and in recent months their has been far too much press coverage about swingers.

What i really hate is having no pics at all on a profile. Unless you have lots if easily identifiable tattoos etc why hide?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't even have face pics on facebook or linkedin, but in an ideal world we'd put face pics on. But we do insist on face pics at some point.

We don't expect face pics on a first message however.

We've never been in the situation of meeting someone where the face pics didn't match.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't give a shit wether my face is on my profile photo. I'm generally shy too so it's quite strange for me, but atleast it saves sending it and getting ignored after it lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've been lucky then because most of the people I've met look better than their photos

Didn't say they looked worse

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My face is on my profile. Think of it as a jigsaw puzzle though.

I don't even consider messages without face pics. Not double standards. When I message someone first I always include a face picture. How else would you know if you're likely to fancy me enough to contemplate chat with a view to meet?

The delete photo after the message is read function is handy as not everyone thinks to save the pic.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"This has probably been posted 100 times but curiosity has got the better of me...

Following a discussion on numerous occasions with a handful of fab members via PM, there seems to be a a lot of double standards surrounding face pics not being actively open on men's profiles.

Discretion is a bad thing (or) no face pic regardless of being available privately is still a bad thing?

Thanks in advance!

I think that if people are asking for things you don't agree with you should avoid their profile it's a sign that you aren't compatible. I don't mean that in a harsh way but there are quite a few who won't ask to see faces until a meet is being discussed, us included because we wouldn't ask for faces when we don't show ours but you then run the risk of either being turned down at a late stage in the proceedings or being called a time waster. It's a conundrum for sure.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't send face pics. We ask for an early face time or Skype. That sorts out the keyboard dreamers from people who actually want to meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I always send face pic with first message. How can you expect a reply without a pic lol. But it's not open to view for everyone on my profile as you don't know who looking

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If that works for you then fantastic.

Personally I would never meet anyone without seeing a face pic.

90% of the people we've met look at best only vaguely like their photos. Almost none of them look the age they claim

I've been lucky then because most of the people I've met look better than their photos

I fall into this category. I take a terrible photo tbh. I look much better in real life.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Mine are freely available to anyone who messages or is intrested in me, like to keep an air of mystery for my actual page though

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *aucy tiggerWoman
over a year ago

Back where I belong

I have face pictures in my private folder, but due to the nature of my work and I have two grown up sons, I have chosen to keep them private - but I'm happy to send on request if I get one first xx

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have face pics set to private and am happy to send if I think there is a chance of a meet on the cards.

What I dislike is men attaching a face pic to their initial message, especially if their profile and message don't appeal and then demanding one back when I didn't actually request they send it in the first place.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otrockloverMan
over a year ago

Newcastle

I always send face pics in any introductory message. My job prohibits having them posted on here for public view.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We aren't really bothered if they are in their public pics and totally understand why ppl wouldn't want to put them there however we ask for one with the first msg (as per our profile) as there has to be an attraction

Any msgs without a face pic either hasn't read our profile or don't respect our wishes then we don't bother responding - without sounding up ourselves- there's enough choice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To paraphrase what 97.86% of women on here write in their profiles: "Please don't send me face pics - I KNOW WHAT A FACE LOOKS LIKE!!"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *nSearchOf12Couple
over a year ago

London

As someone else pointed out, there *are* legitimate reasons for this. Site security is hard to do well, and we have no idea how well Fab does it (no offence meant to the Fab team). There have been a few high-profile examples of other sites with atrocious security resulting in large scale data exposure.

We only share face pictures by some other medium for this reason.

We recognise and accept that this is a show stopper for some people (which is entirely ok!), but just wanted to point out that it doesn't inherently imply dishonesty.

H&H

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"We aren't really bothered if they are in their public pics and totally understand why ppl wouldn't want to put them there however we ask for one with the first msg (as per our profile) as there has to be an attraction

Any msgs without a face pic either hasn't read our profile or don't respect our wishes then we don't bother responding - without sounding up ourselves- there's enough choice

That is the vast difference. You have been clear and concise to your preferential needs in that respect.

Nobody can complain about that opposed to the many/few who have no concept of privacy!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

"I love the fact that couples demand a face pic then delete and don't have the courtesy to say - sorry not for me.... Plus why ask for a face pic of my profile isn't worth reading to see if there's similar interest? Feels like double standards but market forces win I guess.... Moan over lol "

There's no excuse for a lack of courtesy, but if they delete your message after seeing your face pic, doesn't that just mean they weren't attracted to you?

Your interests can match 100%, but if they don't fancy you that won't make any difference.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I received a facepic with a message yesterday only I happen to know his wife and his sister.

Told him not to be so free and easy with the face pics.

Mine gets sent when asked for, and not before I've seen theirs. Had already bumped into an ex schoolfriend on here!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ot40sCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

"Too shy to make my face public.

How's my beaver?

Hi Rachael I think we met briefly at chams so I've seen your face !!

Don't hide it away !!

Anna x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"If that works for you then fantastic.

Personally I would never meet anyone without seeing a face pic.

90% of the people we've met look at best only vaguely like their photos. Almost none of them look the age they claim

I'm going to get crucified for saying this but this post is so true .

Yes you recognise the person from their picture but the picture somehow make them look better than they really look in the flesh .

Am I put of by this fact on the meet not really after all a picture can only get you so far the rest is down to you as a person .

if we gel we will get it on if we don't we won't the picture was just a guide to how you look its not the deal closer that comes down to personality with me always has and always will be that way with me .

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly - quite often a phone call proves a better indicator than photos.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have a load of 'nearly' face pics on our profile, just to give an indication of what we look like. You could probably do a photofit of our pics but it stops us being seen in search engines etc. We have no problem sending face pics, and lots of them, if we feel the people we are chatting to are 100% genuine (about what they really look like). For single guys we will use Kik if we need to but we won't send anything until they do a verification photo first, some random action. If they won't provide that they're not worth wasting time on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

I have them in private. If I like the look and sound of a guy, enough that I'd want to meet him for a coffee, I'll send it.

I very rarely message first so no need to send one for that reason.

I expect to see one before I chat too much. If that doesn't suit someone else that's fine by me.

There are no rules, just conventions and we should all do what we are comfortable with

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

More than happy to send my ugly mug shot with any msg that I may send. I don't have it set to public view tho for a reason

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

We choose to keep our face pics private. We'll happily send them if we have an interest in meeting but don't feel the need for every Tom, Dick and Harry (and Jane) to see them.

We don't expect others to have them on public display, unless they want to, of course.

We wouldnt meet without seeing a face pic privately. If someone makes excuses not to send one, we move on.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *arry247Couple
over a year ago

Wakefield

"I totally understand not having public facepics,but no excuse not to have any in private in this day and age.

If someone won't send one,we just move on ,we all have a need for privacy .

Miss "

You obviously don't know how weak the security on the internet is.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Exactly - quite often a phone call proves a better indicator than photos."

The concept is nice when people want to give out phone numbers - Hehehe!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i have no problem displaying my face pic

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/09/16 21:56:36]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've shown my face pics on both profiles I've had - and both times I've been severely bitten on the arse! There won't be a third time! There are nasty people out there who use the fact that society disapproves of what we do to shame and embarrass us and make our lives miserable!

Until the world becomes a better, more tolerant place my face pics will remain private and be sent to those I'm interested in meeting!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've shown my face pics on both profiles I've had - and both times I've been severely bitten on the arse!"

I see no bite marks

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After reading some of these stories, I'm having second thoughts about posting my face on here

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"I totally understand not having public facepics,but no excuse not to have any in private in this day and age.

If someone won't send one,we just move on ,we all have a need for privacy .

Miss

You obviously don't know how weak the security on the internet is."

I understand there are risks,but we want to see who we are potentially meeting and are happy to send ours.If your way works for you thats fine,but its not for everyone

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I totally understand not having public facepics,but no excuse not to have any in private in this day and age.

If someone won't send one,we just move on ,we all have a need for privacy .

Miss

You obviously don't know how weak the security on the internet is.

I understand there are risks,but we want to see who we are potentially meeting and are happy to send ours.If your way works for you thats fine,but its not for everyone

I think we all worry too much about internet security. Despite this is an independent website, I'm sure the owners/admin are up on there game with security. This isn't Ashley Madison. More chance of Tinder being hacked...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread