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"So what makes a person a DOM? Do you just tell them what to do? Do you just call them names? I'm ignorant with this, but are some people natural dominating and don't know it, or is it intended? Do you need training, because I read that a lot too?" My FWB is Dom, he tells me what to do and I do it, he's naturally one. Sometimes I turn the table on him though and dominate him. XXX | |||
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" My FWB is Dom, he tells me what to do and I do it, he's naturally one. Sometimes I turn the table on him though and dominate him. XXX" If he's naturals a Dom, doesn't he feel uncomfortable when you Dom him? | |||
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" Do you just tell them what to do? Do you just call them names? " No. It is not JUST either of those. Some men are naturally Dom and don't know until they are with a submissive. Some men think they are Dom. Just because they do what you say above. They are not Doms. They are DimDoms. To be dominant doesn't need training, what to do whilst being Dom may need training. | |||
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"I'm extremely dom. But only really works well if partner is willing to completely give into your domination " Is their a middle ground, or is it all or nothing? | |||
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"I'm extremely dom. But only really works well if partner is willing to completely give into your domination Is their a middle ground, or is it all or nothing? " Of course there is like everything. | |||
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"I am a Dom I love being in control I love to spank my man hard when he is inside me I enjoy tying my man up and teasing him I particularly enjoy giving nipple and ball torture...yep It all comes very easy to me and I would never ever gel with a Dom man. Just a shame there are not.many guys on here who are sub - at least not in my area...." You'll find them! However how sub they are is arguable most just like being fucked in the ass. The amount of messages I get starting with Hello Miss, or hello mistress is stupid! Most are chances who get sent off with a flea in their ear! | |||
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"I am a Dom I love being in control I love to spank my man hard when he is inside me I enjoy tying my man up and teasing him I particularly enjoy giving nipple and ball torture...yep It all comes very easy to me and I would never ever gel with a Dom man. Just a shame there are not.many guys on here who are sub - at least not in my area...." Oh yes, they are out there.  | |||
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" My FWB is Dom, he tells me what to do and I do it, he's naturally one. Sometimes I turn the table on him though and dominate him. XXX If he's naturals a Dom, doesn't he feel uncomfortable when you Dom him?" Some people switch it's not very usual for a dominant to switch to sub though but obv does happen | |||
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"I'm extremely dom. But only really works well if partner is willing to completely give into your domination " That takes time patience and trust ! | |||
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"I am a Dom I love being in control I love to spank my man hard when he is inside me I enjoy tying my man up and teasing him I particularly enjoy giving nipple and ball torture...yep It all comes very easy to me and I would never ever gel with a Dom man. Just a shame there are not.many guys on here who are sub - at least not in my area.... You'll find them! However how sub they are is arguable most just like being fucked in the ass. The amount of messages I get starting with Hello Miss, or hello mistress is stupid! Most are chances who get sent off with a flea in their ear!" I agree. I hate that opening line | |||
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"It's a minefield in terms of clarification but Domme/sub labels are tied up with emotional and mental behaviors and top/bottom with the physical aspects of BDSM. I'm naturally dominant and enjoy providing pleasure and pain being a top. A Domme top. If you want to know more, read Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns. Best book on BDSM I've found. "  it is a great book x | |||
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"most have a natural inclination at it, but yes anyone can always be better by honing and learning new skills. Some Doms just arent my style, they dont cultivate the right space or have the right approach to encourage my submission, so i dont give it. My Dom and i are constantly learning from each other, but the most crucial thing that he does that others havent is that he took the time to listen, communicate and apply every experience and conversation he has had with me into knowing himself and me better..this for me shows commitment and i trust in him to guide us from that growing foundation, into the unknown....so now when he asks, i do what he says..i love that we have the same preferences but that he stretches me continually through knowing chinks in my armour. i feel very lucky to have found him " I may be wrong, but, to me, that just sounds like normal, decent behaviour: Listening, getting to know you, working to enhance your pleasure. Those are behaviours I aspire to too, but I would never call myself a dom! | |||
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"It's a minefield in terms of clarification but Domme/sub labels are tied up with emotional and mental behaviors and top/bottom with the physical aspects of BDSM. I'm naturally dominant and enjoy providing pleasure and pain being a top. A Domme top. If you want to know more, read Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns. Best book on BDSM I've found. " That does clarify a few things, thanks, will look up that book. | |||
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" Do you just tell them what to do? Do you just call them names? No. It is not JUST either of those. Some men are naturally Dom and don't know until they are with a submissive. Some men think they are Dom. Just because they do what you say above. They are not Doms. They are DimDoms. To be dominant doesn't need training, what to do whilst being Dom may need training. " correct I natural dominant has a very hard time of it when their young. if there anything like me they struggle to understand what all the fuss is about when it comes to sex because when I was young I could not or understand why people thought it was great and always wanted to do it . because sex to me back then was like is this it what's all the fuss about its nice but kind of boring . this lead me to explore first my partners pleasure at the time as by doing that I didn't get to bored. then once that stated to bored me I started to look into sexual dysfunction thinking it was a physical problem with me .remember this is before the internet looking into physical dysfunction lead me to sexual practises and a book called smacking the maid that book opened my eyes turn me on like nothing before ever had . so then I had a idea what I was missing to feel fulfilled sexually. the story I will stop their as its long because no dominant can learn what works for him with out a willing sub to experiment with him the same for any sub. I now know from talking to other dominants my experience as a young man starting out on his sex life were not much different to theirs. | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. " Why do you feel that? | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that?" It's extremely pretentious. | |||
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"So what makes a person a DOM? Do you just tell them what to do? Do you just call them names? I'm ignorant with this, but are some people natural dominating and don't know it, or is it intended? Do you need training, because I read that a lot too?" I think certain people have an aura that makes them slightly more dom or sub. However our aura doesn't always match our desires. I've been in the kink lifestyle for some time and know that you never really know what someone is going to pull out of the hat. I've been told I am very domme and yes I am capable of doing just that, also enjoy it. But my peace of mind and calm is in submission. There are a few books available, I'd suggest the new topping book and also the new bottoming book. See which you like. I lived as a submissive for 15 years and am only just discovering my domme side. Also get to munches and meets, play, experience and learn. See what works for you and never rule anything out xx | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. " I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires " correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . " So who is more valuable on meeting? Neither, same as any other meet. Just have to hope you click | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires " I said the 'gift of submission' was pretentious not submission per se. | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . " And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. | |||
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"Being a Dom means taking extreme care of your sub. It's not about hitting, name calling or giving orders. When someone submits to you it is a precious gift. Whilst you may be "naturally" dominant there are courses you can attend where you can learn skills that will benefit both you and your sub such as rope bondage, the art of spanking/caning as well as learning some of the psychology of BDSM play. " Brilliantly put ! | |||
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"So what makes a person a DOM? Do you just tell them what to do? Do you just call them names? I'm ignorant with this, but are some people natural dominating and don't know it, or is it intended? Do you need training, because I read that a lot too? My FWB is Dom, he tells me what to do and I do it, he's naturally one. Sometimes I turn the table on him though and dominate him. XXX" know your place woman  | |||
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"Being a Dom means taking extreme care of your sub. It's not about hitting, name calling or giving orders. When someone submits to you it is a precious gift. Whilst you may be "naturally" dominant there are courses you can attend where you can learn skills that will benefit both you and your sub such as rope bondage, the art of spanking/caning as well as learning some of the psychology of BDSM play. Brilliantly put ! " exelently explained  | |||
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"So what makes a person a DOM? Do you just tell them what to do? Do you just call them names? I'm ignorant with this, but are some people natural dominating and don't know it, or is it intended? Do you need training, because I read that a lot too? I think certain people have an aura that makes them slightly more dom or sub. However our aura doesn't always match our desires. I've been in the kink lifestyle for some time and know that you never really know what someone is going to pull out of the hat. I've been told I am very domme and yes I am capable of doing just that, also enjoy it. But my peace of mind and calm is in submission. There are a few books available, I'd suggest the new topping book and also the new bottoming book. See which you like. I lived as a submissive for 15 years and am only just discovering my domme side. Also get to munches and meets, play, experience and learn. See what works for you and never rule anything out xx" an ex sub mmakes a very good dom enjoy and well explained | |||
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"It's a minefield in terms of clarification but Domme/sub labels are tied up with emotional and mental behaviors and top/bottom with the physical aspects of BDSM. I'm naturally dominant and enjoy providing pleasure and pain being a top. A Domme top. If you want to know more, read Screw The Roses, Send Me The Thorns. Best book on BDSM I've found. " Im going to read this, thank you.  | |||
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"I am still unsure why feeling submission to be a gift is pretentious and a faff but we can agree to disagree." Indeed. | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. " why because I need respect as a human being . I need to know I'm respect past what skills I bring to the table failure to do that means I will not play . as I have no need of play or want to play unless its in a mutually respectful dynamic . by that I mean separate from the sex and my skill in the dynamic. I'm a human being and a dominant failure to appeal to both of them facts means no play with me or for me. | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. why because I need respect as a human being . I need to know I'm respect past what skills I bring to the table failure to do that means I will not play . as I have no need of play or want to play unless its in a mutually respectful dynamic . by that I mean separate from the sex and my skill in the dynamic. I'm a human being and a dominant failure to appeal to both of them facts means no play with me or for me. " xx | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. why because I need respect as a human being . I need to know I'm respect past what skills I bring to the table failure to do that means I will not play . as I have no need of play or want to play unless its in a mutually respectful dynamic . by that I mean separate from the sex and my skill in the dynamic. I'm a human being and a dominant failure to appeal to both of them facts means no play with me or for me. " I don't think you get what I am saying as none if that is pertinent to me saying I find the wording pretentious | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. why because I need respect as a human being . I need to know I'm respect past what skills I bring to the table failure to do that means I will not play . as I have no need of play or want to play unless its in a mutually respectful dynamic . by that I mean separate from the sex and my skill in the dynamic. I'm a human being and a dominant failure to appeal to both of them facts means no play with me or for me. I don't think you get what I am saying as none if that is pertinent to me saying I find the wording pretentious " i dont..just saying xx | |||
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"I'm saying that I find the wording of gifting submission pretentious. Not the act of dismissing anyone's thoughts or way they carry out their D/s activities. I don't see it as a gift. It's an exchange as the sub gets something from it. If it was a gift there would be nothing in exchange for it. In my opinion. X" the mindset that a sub is all about the Doms pleasure, isn't a gift? | |||
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"I'm saying that I find the wording of gifting submission pretentious. Not the act of dismissing anyone's thoughts or way they carry out their D/s activities. I don't see it as a gift. It's an exchange as the sub gets something from it. If it was a gift there would be nothing in exchange for it. In my opinion. Xthe mindset that a sub is all about the Doms pleasure, isn't a gift?" Yeah, if they got nothing out of it whatsoever why do it? | |||
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"I'm saying that I find the wording of gifting submission pretentious. Not the act of dismissing anyone's thoughts or way they carry out their D/s activities. I don't see it as a gift. It's an exchange as the sub gets something from it. If it was a gift there would be nothing in exchange for it. In my opinion. Xthe mindset that a sub is all about the Doms pleasure, isn't a gift? Yeah, if they got nothing out of it whatsoever why do it?" it dsoesnt matter whether they do or they dont..their pleasure is their Doms to do with, as he chooses..to give or to deny..thats not up to the sub..her focus is on being a sub, not telling him what she should and shouldnt be getting.. | |||
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"I'm saying that I find the wording of gifting submission pretentious. Not the act of dismissing anyone's thoughts or way they carry out their D/s activities. I don't see it as a gift. It's an exchange as the sub gets something from it. If it was a gift there would be nothing in exchange for it. In my opinion. Xthe mindset that a sub is all about the Doms pleasure, isn't a gift? Yeah, if they got nothing out of it whatsoever why do it? it dsoesnt matter whether they do or they dont..their pleasure is their Doms to do with, as he chooses..to give or to deny..thats not up to the sub..her focus is on being a sub, not telling him what she should and shouldnt be getting.." Ok. I'm clearly not making myself clear. If a sub got nothing from being a sub aside from giving everything over to him/her. Why do it the while act of being a sub has to give some sort of pleasure else you're essentially just a slave. There has to be a reason for doing it. Like I say, just musing and wondering I've had. | |||
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"Being a Dom means taking extreme care of your sub. It's not about hitting, name calling or giving orders. When someone submits to you it is a precious gift. Whilst you may be "naturally" dominant there are courses you can attend where you can learn skills that will benefit both you and your sub such as rope bondage, the art of spanking/caning as well as learning some of the psychology of BDSM play. " your first two sentences ... Absolute tosh! | |||
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"I'm saying that I find the wording of gifting submission pretentious. Not the act of dismissing anyone's thoughts or way they carry out their D/s activities. I don't see it as a gift. It's an exchange as the sub gets something from it. If it was a gift there would be nothing in exchange for it. In my opinion. Xthe mindset that a sub is all about the Doms pleasure, isn't a gift? Yeah, if they got nothing out of it whatsoever why do it? it dsoesnt matter whether they do or they dont..their pleasure is their Doms to do with, as he chooses..to give or to deny..thats not up to the sub..her focus is on being a sub, not telling him what she should and shouldnt be getting.. Ok. I'm clearly not making myself clear. If a sub got nothing from being a sub aside from giving everything over to him/her. Why do it the while act of being a sub has to give some sort of pleasure else you're essentially just a slave. There has to be a reason for doing it. Like I say, just musing and wondering I've had. " Total power exchange might just be the subs thing...but then i have slave tendencies | |||
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"Being a Dom means taking extreme care of your sub. It's not about hitting, name calling or giving orders. When someone submits to you it is a precious gift. Whilst you may be "naturally" dominant there are courses you can attend where you can learn skills that will benefit both you and your sub such as rope bondage, the art of spanking/caning as well as learning some of the psychology of BDSM play. your first two sentences ... Absolute tosh!" | |||
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"I'm saying that I find the wording of gifting submission pretentious. Not the act of dismissing anyone's thoughts or way they carry out their D/s activities. I don't see it as a gift. It's an exchange as the sub gets something from it. If it was a gift there would be nothing in exchange for it. In my opinion. Xthe mindset that a sub is all about the Doms pleasure, isn't a gift? Yeah, if they got nothing out of it whatsoever why do it? it dsoesnt matter whether they do or they dont..their pleasure is their Doms to do with, as he chooses..to give or to deny..thats not up to the sub..her focus is on being a sub, not telling him what she should and shouldnt be getting.. Ok. I'm clearly not making myself clear. If a sub got nothing from being a sub aside from giving everything over to him/her. Why do it the while act of being a sub has to give some sort of pleasure else you're essentially just a slave. There has to be a reason for doing it. Like I say, just musing and wondering I've had. Total power exchange might just be the subs thing...but then i have slave tendencies " | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. why because I need respect as a human being . I need to know I'm respect past what skills I bring to the table failure to do that means I will not play . as I have no need of play or want to play unless its in a mutually respectful dynamic . by that I mean separate from the sex and my skill in the dynamic. I'm a human being and a dominant failure to appeal to both of them facts means no play with me or for me. I don't think you get what I am saying as none if that is pertinent to me saying I find the wording pretentious " Is it the wording pretentious or the sentiment in the words you find pretentious ....? If its the sentiment in the words I can't see where the problem is. you see I may feel that way about a excellent fern I'm playing with but I'd never express it verbally to her because that may ruin the dynamic . So how would I express my true thoughts and the feeling playing with her invoke in me . Well by making sure every play meet was the best it could be. You see because of how she makes me feel and because of how much I enjoyed our play meets . I'd be inspired a man driven to deliver a totally tailored and hopefully mind blowing experience based around the dynamic which turns us both on .I'd mercilessly use all I'd learned about what turns her on to deliver the best experience I could . I'd expect the same from her no expressing of emotions to each other just let our actions on play dates and our interactions between play date prove the truth about how we appreciate each other . But in a form one can't do that so one has to express ones true thoughts that occur when one is engaged in a mutual pleasing dynamic . Why someone would see that as pretentious says more about the than it does those expressing it in my opinion . Repressed comes to mind fearful of emotions is another . But hay each to there own | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. why because I need respect as a human being . I need to know I'm respect past what skills I bring to the table failure to do that means I will not play . as I have no need of play or want to play unless its in a mutually respectful dynamic . by that I mean separate from the sex and my skill in the dynamic. I'm a human being and a dominant failure to appeal to both of them facts means no play with me or for me. I don't think you get what I am saying as none if that is pertinent to me saying I find the wording pretentious Is it the wording pretentious or the sentiment in the words you find pretentious ....? If its the sentiment in the words I can't see where the problem is. you see I may feel that way about a excellent fern I'm playing with but I'd never express it verbally to her because that may ruin the dynamic . So how would I express my true thoughts and the feeling playing with her invoke in me . Well by making sure every play meet was the best it could be. You see because of how she makes me feel and because of how much I enjoyed our play meets . I'd be inspired a man driven to deliver a totally tailored and hopefully mind blowing experience based around the dynamic which turns us both on .I'd mercilessly use all I'd learned about what turns her on to deliver the best experience I could . I'd expect the same from her no expressing of emotions to each other just let our actions on play dates and our interactions between play date prove the truth about how we appreciate each other . But in a form one can't do that so one has to express ones true thoughts that occur when one is engaged in a mutual pleasing dynamic . Why someone would see that as pretentious says more about the than it does those expressing it in my opinion . Repressed comes to mind fearful of emotions is another . But hay each to there own " well said..thank you for sharing x | |||
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"I have no idea what Dom means But going by what most guys who claim to be Dom on here are offering Dom means, rough sex with no consideration as to what the woman wants " I am only speaking for myself (Ali is well versed in the whole dom/sub thang) But, to me, a lot of "doms" on here do appear to be old fashioned sexist at best or simply misogynistic at worst. Ive read stuff like "don't worry your sexy little brain" or "I will show you your place" a lot of it makes me cringe. Not that I know what I am talking about. | |||
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"So what makes a person a DOM? Do you just tell them what to do? Do you just call them names? I'm ignorant with this, but are some people natural dominating and don't know it, or is it intended? Do you need training, because I read that a lot too? My FWB is Dom, he tells me what to do and I do it, he's naturally one. Sometimes I turn the table on him though and dominate him. XXX" So he is a switch | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. why because I need respect as a human being . I need to know I'm respect past what skills I bring to the table failure to do that means I will not play . as I have no need of play or want to play unless its in a mutually respectful dynamic . by that I mean separate from the sex and my skill in the dynamic. I'm a human being and a dominant failure to appeal to both of them facts means no play with me or for me. I don't think you get what I am saying as none if that is pertinent to me saying I find the wording pretentious Is it the wording pretentious or the sentiment in the words you find pretentious ....? If its the sentiment in the words I can't see where the problem is. you see I may feel that way about a excellent fern I'm playing with but I'd never express it verbally to her because that may ruin the dynamic . So how would I express my true thoughts and the feeling playing with her invoke in me . Well by making sure every play meet was the best it could be. You see because of how she makes me feel and because of how much I enjoyed our play meets . I'd be inspired a man driven to deliver a totally tailored and hopefully mind blowing experience based around the dynamic which turns us both on .I'd mercilessly use all I'd learned about what turns her on to deliver the best experience I could . I'd expect the same from her no expressing of emotions to each other just let our actions on play dates and our interactions between play date prove the truth about how we appreciate each other . But in a form one can't do that so one has to express ones true thoughts that occur when one is engaged in a mutual pleasing dynamic . Why someone would see that as pretentious says more about the than it does those expressing it in my opinion . Repressed comes to mind fearful of emotions is another . But hay each to there own " As I said many times. It's the wording not the sentiment. | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. why because I need respect as a human being . I need to know I'm respect past what skills I bring to the table failure to do that means I will not play . as I have no need of play or want to play unless its in a mutually respectful dynamic . by that I mean separate from the sex and my skill in the dynamic. I'm a human being and a dominant failure to appeal to both of them facts means no play with me or for me. I don't think you get what I am saying as none if that is pertinent to me saying I find the wording pretentious Is it the wording pretentious or the sentiment in the words you find pretentious ....? If its the sentiment in the words I can't see where the problem is. you see I may feel that way about a excellent fern I'm playing with but I'd never express it verbally to her because that may ruin the dynamic . So how would I express my true thoughts and the feeling playing with her invoke in me . Well by making sure every play meet was the best it could be. You see because of how she makes me feel and because of how much I enjoyed our play meets . I'd be inspired a man driven to deliver a totally tailored and hopefully mind blowing experience based around the dynamic which turns us both on .I'd mercilessly use all I'd learned about what turns her on to deliver the best experience I could . I'd expect the same from her no expressing of emotions to each other just let our actions on play dates and our interactions between play date prove the truth about how we appreciate each other . But in a form one can't do that so one has to express ones true thoughts that occur when one is engaged in a mutual pleasing dynamic . Why someone would see that as pretentious says more about the than it does those expressing it in my opinion . Repressed comes to mind fearful of emotions is another . But hay each to there own " Excuse me. You are calling me repressed?????? | |||
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"I have no idea what Dom means But going by what most guys who claim to be Dom on here are offering Dom means, rough sex with no consideration as to what the woman wants " | |||
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Not easy, but I was very very lucky when I found my Dom. | |||
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"It will mean different things to every single person. You have to find out what it means to you, then find someone who feels the same way
Not easy, but I was very very lucky when I found my Dom." me too.. | |||
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"I have no idea what Dom means But going by what most guys who claim to be Dom on here are offering Dom means, rough sex with no consideration as to what the woman wants " Here's the thing if that's what their offering no fern is forced to reply or meet them unless that's what she wants . Now the amount of times I'm approached by so called subs who's opening message is tell me what you want to do to me is untrue maybe the witch hunt should go both ways . You know start educating the fuck wit women who don't get the dynamic as well as the fuck wit guys out there . Just a thought don't shoot the messenger after all I will go after both sexes if I think there spewing shit but sadly I never see a genuine female sub putting a wana be fuck wit sub in their place . | |||
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"I have no idea what Dom means But going by what most guys who claim to be Dom on here are offering Dom means, rough sex with no consideration as to what the woman wants Here's the thing if that's what their offering no fern is forced to reply or meet them unless that's what she wants . Now the amount of times I'm approached by so called subs who's opening message is tell me what you want to do to me is untrue maybe the witch hunt should go both ways . You know start educating the fuck wit women who don't get the dynamic as well as the fuck wit guys out there . Just a thought don't shoot the messenger after all I will go after both sexes if I think there spewing shit but sadly I never see a genuine female sub putting a wana be fuck wit sub in their place . " i did on the diddydom thread a few days back..she obviously didnt want to be a sub or learn, just wanted to slag Dom's off..Doms get a raw deal on here..i dont know whether to leave well alone or speak up...does any thing that i say go in anyway? | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. why because I need respect as a human being . I need to know I'm respect past what skills I bring to the table failure to do that means I will not play . as I have no need of play or want to play unless its in a mutually respectful dynamic . by that I mean separate from the sex and my skill in the dynamic. I'm a human being and a dominant failure to appeal to both of them facts means no play with me or for me. I don't think you get what I am saying as none if that is pertinent to me saying I find the wording pretentious Is it the wording pretentious or the sentiment in the words you find pretentious ....? If its the sentiment in the words I can't see where the problem is. you see I may feel that way about a excellent fern I'm playing with but I'd never express it verbally to her because that may ruin the dynamic . So how would I express my true thoughts and the feeling playing with her invoke in me . Well by making sure every play meet was the best it could be. You see because of how she makes me feel and because of how much I enjoyed our play meets . I'd be inspired a man driven to deliver a totally tailored and hopefully mind blowing experience based around the dynamic which turns us both on .I'd mercilessly use all I'd learned about what turns her on to deliver the best experience I could . I'd expect the same from her no expressing of emotions to each other just let our actions on play dates and our interactions between play date prove the truth about how we appreciate each other . But in a form one can't do that so one has to express ones true thoughts that occur when one is engaged in a mutual pleasing dynamic . Why someone would see that as pretentious says more about the than it does those expressing it in my opinion . Repressed comes to mind fearful of emotions is another . But hay each to there own Excuse me. You are calling me repressed??????" Repressed maybe angry maybe frustrated maybe opinionated yes but then aren't we all .
Truthfully I don't know all I'm doing is standing my ground when what I say is called in to question again exactly what your doing . | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. why because I need respect as a human being . I need to know I'm respect past what skills I bring to the table failure to do that means I will not play . as I have no need of play or want to play unless its in a mutually respectful dynamic . by that I mean separate from the sex and my skill in the dynamic. I'm a human being and a dominant failure to appeal to both of them facts means no play with me or for me. I don't think you get what I am saying as none if that is pertinent to me saying I find the wording pretentious Is it the wording pretentious or the sentiment in the words you find pretentious ....? If its the sentiment in the words I can't see where the problem is. you see I may feel that way about a excellent fern I'm playing with but I'd never express it verbally to her because that may ruin the dynamic . So how would I express my true thoughts and the feeling playing with her invoke in me . Well by making sure every play meet was the best it could be. You see because of how she makes me feel and because of how much I enjoyed our play meets . I'd be inspired a man driven to deliver a totally tailored and hopefully mind blowing experience based around the dynamic which turns us both on .I'd mercilessly use all I'd learned about what turns her on to deliver the best experience I could . I'd expect the same from her no expressing of emotions to each other just let our actions on play dates and our interactions between play date prove the truth about how we appreciate each other . But in a form one can't do that so one has to express ones true thoughts that occur when one is engaged in a mutual pleasing dynamic . Why someone would see that as pretentious says more about the than it does those expressing it in my opinion . Repressed comes to mind fearful of emotions is another . But hay each to there own Excuse me. You are calling me repressed?????? Repressed maybe angry maybe frustrated maybe opinionated yes but then aren't we all .
Truthfully I don't know all I'm doing is standing my ground when what I say is called in to question again exactly what your doing . "Ok you have no right commenting on me as a person. It's you that have got their knickers in a twist as I said the wording was flowery and pretentious. You're proving my case for me. | |||
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"I have no idea what Dom means But going by what most guys who claim to be Dom on here are offering Dom means, rough sex with no consideration as to what the woman wants Here's the thing if that's what their offering no fern is forced to reply or meet them unless that's what she wants . Now the amount of times I'm approached by so called subs who's opening message is tell me what you want to do to me is untrue maybe the witch hunt should go both ways . You know start educating the fuck wit women who don't get the dynamic as well as the fuck wit guys out there . Just a thought don't shoot the messenger after all I will go after both sexes if I think there spewing shit but sadly I never see a genuine female sub putting a wana be fuck wit sub in their place . i did on the diddydom thread a few days back..she obviously didnt want to be a sub or learn, just wanted to slag Dom's off..Doms get a raw deal on here..i dont know whether to leave well alone or speak up...does any thing that i say go in anyway?" Your exempt Suzy I've seen and read lots of your posts in the forum and the archives . But as you well know your the exception not the rule . Just look at the thumbs up for that post I've been reading archive forum posts and it really is open season on men for some ferns on here . | |||
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"I have no idea what Dom means But going by what most guys who claim to be Dom on here are offering Dom means, rough sex with no consideration as to what the woman wants Here's the thing if that's what their offering no fern is forced to reply or meet them unless that's what she wants . Now the amount of times I'm approached by so called subs who's opening message is tell me what you want to do to me is untrue maybe the witch hunt should go both ways . You know start educating the fuck wit women who don't get the dynamic as well as the fuck wit guys out there . Just a thought don't shoot the messenger after all I will go after both sexes if I think there spewing shit but sadly I never see a genuine female sub putting a wana be fuck wit sub in their place . i did on the diddydom thread a few days back..she obviously didnt want to be a sub or learn, just wanted to slag Dom's off..Doms get a raw deal on here..i dont know whether to leave well alone or speak up...does any thing that i say go in anyway?" Whether it goes in is not the point the point is that you are fair that's what counts if you ask me . | |||
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"I have no idea what Dom means But going by what most guys who claim to be Dom on here are offering Dom means, rough sex with no consideration as to what the woman wants Here's the thing if that's what their offering no fern is forced to reply or meet them unless that's what she wants . Now the amount of times I'm approached by so called subs who's opening message is tell me what you want to do to me is untrue maybe the witch hunt should go both ways . You know start educating the fuck wit women who don't get the dynamic as well as the fuck wit guys out there . Just a thought don't shoot the messenger after all I will go after both sexes if I think there spewing shit but sadly I never see a genuine female sub putting a wana be fuck wit sub in their place . i did on the diddydom thread a few days back..she obviously didnt want to be a sub or learn, just wanted to slag Dom's off..Doms get a raw deal on here..i dont know whether to leave well alone or speak up...does any thing that i say go in anyway? Your exempt Suzy I've seen and read lots of your posts in the forum and the archives . But as you well know your the exception not the rule . Just look at the thumbs up for that post I've been reading archive forum posts and it really is open season on men for some ferns on here ." there is still a big divide between the fet community and the swinger community...slowly some events and communication are being had, but with some not being interested to embrace either side, some just dabbling and throwing misleading ignorance or assumptions into the mix, others reacting to that.its extremely difficult to spend the time to actually pass on decent information to what might be a significant proportion of the other community..you cant debate or discuss a topic properly with people who dont want to stay on topic, want to learn anything, or, just what their own perception to be right.. its a shame really, i think alot of people would like to know more, just dont want to be in a free for all, to get the information | |||
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"There are many many dimdoms on here and that other website that pray on vulnerable people. Usually spouting flowery shite. If you debt they are out there you're very much delusional " no ive had my dealings here and elsewhere and in real life with those who are inexperienced at domming or feel they can Dom anyone..but like anything else if they dont have support or communication or experiences, or at least access to those, they will carry on being the way they are..so id rather spend my time in constructive criticism or reeducation, than i would, in slagging off a whole swathe of people ...thats my way though..im not saying its right..but i see better effects in that, than being negative about the one or two ( or three or four;) ) people who i would never in a million years trust to hold my pint while i went to the loo, let alone take me into sub space | |||
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"There are many many dimdoms on here and that other website that pray on vulnerable people. Usually spouting flowery shite. If you debt they are out there you're very much delusional " Oh dear god I can't believe you use the forums and have the cheek to try and tell me that . My opinions are all over lots of forum posts check them out the come back to me and say those lines . You know something you won't because my truth thoughts are on here about the subject you are talking about . So I have no need to respond to that because my action in other posts show my opinion on what your asking plan enough . | |||
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"I am a Dom I love being in control I love to spank my man hard when he is inside me I enjoy tying my man up and teasing him I particularly enjoy giving nipple and ball torture...yep It all comes very easy to me and I would never ever gel with a Dom man.Ball torture??? Just a shame there are not.many guys on here who are sub - at least not in my area...." Ball torture?? Mmmmmmmm! You can have mine to do as you please ---please !!! | |||
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"I have no idea what Dom means But going by what most guys who claim to be Dom on here are offering Dom means, rough sex with no consideration as to what the woman wants Here's the thing if that's what their offering no fern is forced to reply or meet them unless that's what she wants . Now the amount of times I'm approached by so called subs who's opening message is tell me what you want to do to me is untrue maybe the witch hunt should go both ways . You know start educating the fuck wit women who don't get the dynamic as well as the fuck wit guys out there . Just a thought don't shoot the messenger after all I will go after both sexes if I think there spewing shit but sadly I never see a genuine female sub putting a wana be fuck wit sub in their place . i did on the diddydom thread a few days back..she obviously didnt want to be a sub or learn, just wanted to slag Dom's off..Doms get a raw deal on here..i dont know whether to leave well alone or speak up...does any thing that i say go in anyway? Your exempt Suzy I've seen and read lots of your posts in the forum and the archives . But as you well know your the exception not the rule . Just look at the thumbs up for that post I've been reading archive forum posts and it really is open season on men for some ferns on here .there is still a big divide between the fet community and the swinger community...slowly some events and communication are being had, but with some not being interested to embrace either side, some just dabbling and throwing misleading ignorance or assumptions into the mix, others reacting to that.its extremely difficult to spend the time to actually pass on decent information to what might be a significant proportion of the other community..you cant debate or discuss a topic properly with people who dont want to stay on topic, want to learn anything, or, just what their own perception to be right.. its a shame really, i think alot of people would like to know more, just dont want to be in a free for all, to get the information " If I'm honest Suzy I'm on fet and I find things to be very similar online lots of fuck wit men and just as many fuck wit women .on munchies its a bit different . One big difference is fet doesn't seem to indulge in witch hunts like I regularly see on here maybe lack of forum in favor of groups is the reason but groups lack the social interaction of a forum . Hence me in general liking the forums on here . | |||
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"I have no idea what Dom means But going by what most guys who claim to be Dom on here are offering Dom means, rough sex with no consideration as to what the woman wants Here's the thing if that's what their offering no fern is forced to reply or meet them unless that's what she wants . Now the amount of times I'm approached by so called subs who's opening message is tell me what you want to do to me is untrue maybe the witch hunt should go both ways . You know start educating the fuck wit women who don't get the dynamic as well as the fuck wit guys out there . Just a thought don't shoot the messenger after all I will go after both sexes if I think there spewing shit but sadly I never see a genuine female sub putting a wana be fuck wit sub in their place . i did on the diddydom thread a few days back..she obviously didnt want to be a sub or learn, just wanted to slag Dom's off..Doms get a raw deal on here..i dont know whether to leave well alone or speak up...does any thing that i say go in anyway? Your exempt Suzy I've seen and read lots of your posts in the forum and the archives . But as you well know your the exception not the rule . Just look at the thumbs up for that post I've been reading archive forum posts and it really is open season on men for some ferns on here .there is still a big divide between the fet community and the swinger community...slowly some events and communication are being had, but with some not being interested to embrace either side, some just dabbling and throwing misleading ignorance or assumptions into the mix, others reacting to that.its extremely difficult to spend the time to actually pass on decent information to what might be a significant proportion of the other community..you cant debate or discuss a topic properly with people who dont want to stay on topic, want to learn anything, or, just what their own perception to be right.. its a shame really, i think alot of people would like to know more, just dont want to be in a free for all, to get the information If I'm honest Suzy I'm on fet and I find things to be very similar online lots of fuck wit men and just as many fuck wit women .on munchies its a bit different . One big difference is fet doesn't seem to indulge in witch hunts like I regularly see on here maybe lack of forum in favor of groups is the reason but groups lack the social interaction of a forum . Hence me in general liking the forums on here ." im there too..same reason though i dont like the group format there, good for information but very little interaction. yes its funny i went there to find a Dom and found one from here instead..well i found him while out and about actually..cant beat meeting in person , for something real, to click x | |||
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"Awww you're adorable! " i know, thats what makes my submission a gift | |||
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"Awww you're adorable! i know, thats what makes my submission a gift "
I meant the other chap but you are too.
It's bonkers he's gone so serious because I said i thought a couple of words were pretentious!
I have been involved in the fet scene for donkey's years so wouldn't be jumping on the slagging band wagon. I don't *get* submission as im a complete and utter brat and would in no way submit to anyone. So I can't see someone doing something purely for the pleasure of someone else.
However I do *get* it. But I've been rubbed up the wrong way by the way this chap has charged in like a bull in a China shop and insulted me. Clearly I hit a nerve in his case.
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"I love threads like this. So many different opinions. I would love to find someone I click with enough to explore this kind of thing. I think I'll pick up the book that was mentioned earlier "screw the roses bring me thorns and the topping and bottoming book and if you want a story to gauge your reaction to 'slavery', the story of O will sort out your hard limits..you just need a starting point and you have that already by knowing you want to explore. write yourself a biog of whats a nono, what youd like and what you so want to try, look up and download a BDSM checklist to inspire you and do a BDSM test..if not accurate its fun to see what psychologically you are..and then its the start of a journey of self discovery..and youll find a way, if you want it enough xx | |||
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"Awww you're adorable! i know, thats what makes my submission a gift
I meant the other chap but you are too.
It's bonkers he's gone so serious because I said i thought a couple of words were pretentious!
I have been involved in the fet scene for donkey's years so wouldn't be jumping on the slagging band wagon. I don't *get* submission as im a complete and utter brat and would in no way submit to anyone. So I can't see someone doing something purely for the pleasure of someone else.
However I do *get* it. But I've been rubbed up the wrong way by the way this chap has charged in like a bull in a China shop and insulted me. Clearly I hit a nerve in his case.
"Doms have feelings and pride in what they do..if he feels you are in some way insulting the beautiful subs he has by telling them indirectly that their submission isnt valued, then id get serious about it as well we all have our points of integrity and this is one of his..disempowering men is commonplace by women these days..im glad he stood up for himself and what he believes and didnt just shut up and go away. | |||
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"Awww you're adorable! i know, thats what makes my submission a gift
I meant the other chap but you are too.
It's bonkers he's gone so serious because I said i thought a couple of words were pretentious!
I have been involved in the fet scene for donkey's years so wouldn't be jumping on the slagging band wagon. I don't *get* submission as im a complete and utter brat and would in no way submit to anyone. So I can't see someone doing something purely for the pleasure of someone else.
However I do *get* it. But I've been rubbed up the wrong way by the way this chap has charged in like a bull in a China shop and insulted me. Clearly I hit a nerve in his case.
Doms have feelings and pride in what they do..if he feels you are in some way insulting the beautiful subs he has by telling them indirectly that their submission isnt valued, then id get serious about it as well we all have our points of integrity and this is one of his..disempowering men is commonplace by women these days..im glad he stood up for himself and what he believes and didnt just shut up and go away.
"But I didn't! !!! I just said I disliked the word!! Jesus! | |||
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"Awww you're adorable! i know, thats what makes my submission a gift
I meant the other chap but you are too.
It's bonkers he's gone so serious because I said i thought a couple of words were pretentious!
I have been involved in the fet scene for donkey's years so wouldn't be jumping on the slagging band wagon. I don't *get* submission as im a complete and utter brat and would in no way submit to anyone. So I can't see someone doing something purely for the pleasure of someone else.
However I do *get* it. But I've been rubbed up the wrong way by the way this chap has charged in like a bull in a China shop and insulted me. Clearly I hit a nerve in his case.
Doms have feelings and pride in what they do..if he feels you are in some way insulting the beautiful subs he has by telling them indirectly that their submission isnt valued, then id get serious about it as well we all have our points of integrity and this is one of his..disempowering men is commonplace by women these days..im glad he stood up for himself and what he believes and didnt just shut up and go away.
But I didn't! !!! I just said I disliked the word!! Jesus!"and all he did was counteract that..i just think you are a very good brat, and, i mean that in the nicest possible way xx | |||
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"Awww you're adorable! i know, thats what makes my submission a gift
I meant the other chap but you are too.
It's bonkers he's gone so serious because I said i thought a couple of words were pretentious!
I have been involved in the fet scene for donkey's years so wouldn't be jumping on the slagging band wagon. I don't *get* submission as im a complete and utter brat and would in no way submit to anyone. So I can't see someone doing something purely for the pleasure of someone else.
However I do *get* it. But I've been rubbed up the wrong way by the way this chap has charged in like a bull in a China shop and insulted me. Clearly I hit a nerve in his case.
Doms have feelings and pride in what they do..if he feels you are in some way insulting the beautiful subs he has by telling them indirectly that their submission isnt valued, then id get serious about it as well we all have our points of integrity and this is one of his..disempowering men is commonplace by women these days..im glad he stood up for himself and what he believes and didnt just shut up and go away.
But I didn't! !!! I just said I disliked the word!! Jesus! and all he did was counteract that..i just think you are a very good brat, and, i mean that in the nicest possible way xx " | |||
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"Awww you're adorable! i know, thats what makes my submission a gift
I meant the other chap but you are too.
It's bonkers he's gone so serious because I said i thought a couple of words were pretentious!
I have been involved in the fet scene for donkey's years so wouldn't be jumping on the slagging band wagon. I don't *get* submission as im a complete and utter brat and would in no way submit to anyone. So I can't see someone doing something purely for the pleasure of someone else.
However I do *get* it. But I've been rubbed up the wrong way by the way this chap has charged in like a bull in a China shop and insulted me. Clearly I hit a nerve in his case.
"You have hit no nerve but you have question me and I have question you back . That's called a debate nothing more nothing less . I have given you my true opinions how you feel about then and choose to act on them is down to you .the same applies to me with your answers . As for insulting you I for the life of me can not see where I have done that but if you feel I have I will say this at no point did I intend to insult you if I have it was purely a by product of me being honest in my debate with you . What ever you found insulting i apologize for because as I said no insult or offence was meant trust me if I truly wanted to insult you I'd be very very blunt about it forum rules to damned . Only your last post back to me did i view with any distaste because like I said if you use the forums regularly you would know my true thoughts on that subject and not have posted the post you did. | |||
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"Awww you're adorable! i know, thats what makes my submission a gift
I meant the other chap but you are too.
It's bonkers he's gone so serious because I said i thought a couple of words were pretentious!
I have been involved in the fet scene for donkey's years so wouldn't be jumping on the slagging band wagon. I don't *get* submission as im a complete and utter brat and would in no way submit to anyone. So I can't see someone doing something purely for the pleasure of someone else.
However I do *get* it. But I've been rubbed up the wrong way by the way this chap has charged in like a bull in a China shop and insulted me. Clearly I hit a nerve in his case.
You have hit no nerve but you have question me and I have question you back .
That's called a debate nothing more nothing less .
I have given you my true opinions how you feel about then and choose to act on them is down to you .the same applies to me with your answers .
As for insulting you I for the life of me can not see where I have done that but if you feel I have I will say this at no point did I intend to insult you if I have it was purely a by product of me being honest in my debate with you .
What ever you found insulting i apologize for because as I said no insult or offence was meant trust me if I truly wanted to insult you I'd be very very blunt about it forum rules to
damned .
Only your last post back to me did i view with any distaste because like I said if you use the forums regularly you would know my true thoughts on that subject and not have posted the post you did.
"To be honest you've never really been on my radar to see your other posts. | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. " Totally agree, I think it's all a load of pretentious bollocks. Most of the "doms" i've come into contact with are just controlling bullies | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. Totally agree, I think it's all a load of pretentious bollocks. Most of the "doms" i've come into contact with are just controlling bullies" you dont even have that you have a submissive bone in your body on your profile..and thats fine maybe you like to be in control and call others names for wanting to do to you, what you may do, to others...just saying..or maybe you are just another brat, that could be taught some respect, but i doubt it, submission is not worth anything, if its not given willingly x | |||
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"Awww you're adorable! i know, thats what makes my submission a gift
I meant the other chap but you are too.
It's bonkers he's gone so serious because I said i thought a couple of words were pretentious!
I have been involved in the fet scene for donkey's years so wouldn't be jumping on the slagging band wagon. I don't *get* submission as im a complete and utter brat and would in no way submit to anyone. So I can't see someone doing something purely for the pleasure of someone else.
However I do *get* it. But I've been rubbed up the wrong way by the way this chap has charged in like a bull in a China shop and insulted me. Clearly I hit a nerve in his case.
Doms have feelings and pride in what they do..if he feels you are in some way insulting the beautiful subs he has by telling them indirectly that their submission isnt valued, then id get serious about it as well we all have our points of integrity and this is one of his..disempowering men is commonplace by women these days..im glad he stood up for himself and what he believes and didnt just shut up and go away.
"You are right Suzy I have a passion for what I am and plus pride in my ferns . Yes I'd go ape if I thought someone was insulting the dynamic I share with them forum rules be damned I'd take the time out for that any day, But what was happening here as far as I was concerned was me standing my ground defending my point of view and answering questions honestly as was my debating partner to her credit I may add . Thanks for intervening because as a guy its very hard to voice your true thoughts on a forum unless your willing to stand up and explain yourself especially if your sexuality happens to be dominant . But hay if I couldn't handle the forum life I'd just disappear like the some guys do but again I thank you for the support . | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. Totally agree, I think it's all a load of pretentious bollocks. Most of the "doms" i've come into contact with are just controlling bullies" And there it goes again I'm sorry this is how you feel from experience but you can not tar all dominants with that brush Trust me we are not all selfish men in it for only themselves I can't prove that you just have to take my word on it. The dynamic became very very popular almost overnight this has lead to lots of problems from those latching onto it as a way of getting sex . As well as inexperienced people looking into the dynamic and trying it out without really understanding the dynamic which also leads to problems . | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. Totally agree, I think it's all a load of pretentious bollocks. Most of the "doms" i've come into contact with are just controlling bullies you dont even have that you have a submissive bone in your body on your profile..and thats fine maybe you like to be in control and call others names for wanting to do to you, what you may do, to others...just saying..or maybe you are just another brat, that could be taught some respect, but i doubt it, submission is not worth anything, if its not given willingly x" Or maybe I don't like being mentally or physically abused or humiliated? | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. Totally agree, I think it's all a load of pretentious bollocks. Most of the "doms" i've come into contact with are just controlling bullies And there it goes again I'm sorry this is how you feel from experience but you can not tar all dominants with that brush Trust me we are not all selfish men in it for only themselves I can't prove that you just have to take my word on it. The dynamic became very very popular almost overnight this has lead to lots of problems from those latching onto it as a way of getting sex . As well as inexperienced people looking into the dynamic and trying it out without really understanding the dynamic which also leads to problems ." I'm sure there are some "proper" doms out there, and as u say, I won't tar everyone with the same brush...but the ones I do know about have been nasty pieces of work who resorted to blackmail | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. Totally agree, I think it's all a load of pretentious bollocks. Most of the "doms" i've come into contact with are just controlling bullies you dont even have that you have a submissive bone in your body on your profile..and thats fine maybe you like to be in control and call others names for wanting to do to you, what you may do, to others...just saying..or maybe you are just another brat, that could be taught some respect, but i doubt it, submission is not worth anything, if its not given willingly x Or maybe I don't like being mentally or physically abused or humiliated?" ok ..are you likening all Doms to being abusive or just the whole BDSM thing, isnt for you? you know its not compulsary dont you? | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. Totally agree, I think it's all a load of pretentious bollocks. Most of the "doms" i've come into contact with are just controlling bullies And there it goes again I'm sorry this is how you feel from experience but you can not tar all dominants with that brush Trust me we are not all selfish men in it for only themselves I can't prove that you just have to take my word on it. The dynamic became very very popular almost overnight this has lead to lots of problems from those latching onto it as a way of getting sex . As well as inexperienced people looking into the dynamic and trying it out without really understanding the dynamic which also leads to problems . I'm sure there are some "proper" doms out there, and as u say, I won't tar everyone with the same brush...but the ones I do know about have been nasty pieces of work who resorted to blackmail" thjere are..ive met quite a few very decent Doms and Dommes. thanks x | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. Totally agree, I think it's all a load of pretentious bollocks. Most of the "doms" i've come into contact with are just controlling bullies you dont even have that you have a submissive bone in your body on your profile..and thats fine maybe you like to be in control and call others names for wanting to do to you, what you may do, to others...just saying..or maybe you are just another brat, that could be taught some respect, but i doubt it, submission is not worth anything, if its not given willingly x Or maybe I don't like being mentally or physically abused or humiliated? ok ..are you likening all Doms to being abusive or just the whole BDSM thing, isnt for you? you know its not compulsary dont you?" Yes, which is why I don't participate | |||
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"Being a Dom means taking extreme care of your sub. It's not about hitting, name calling or giving orders. When someone submits to you it is a precious gift. Whilst you may be "naturally" dominant there are courses you can attend where you can learn skills that will benefit both you and your sub such as rope bondage, the art of spanking/caning as well as learning some of the psychology of BDSM play. " I agree totally with this. False Doms have no respect for the Sub and are in fact just bullies. Control is required to be a Dom knowing when to back off and when to push forward. So many DimDoms about it is Annoying! | |||
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"The whole submission is a gift thing is nauseating. Why do you feel that? It's extremely pretentious. I disagree, without a sub there is no dom/domme. Just a person with desires correct but that saying works the other way around to. a excellent sub who matches my desires and inspires me to new heights is worth her weight in gold to me but equally I'm worth the sane to her . And her in lies the pretentiousness. Why can't people just meet and see how it goes without all this faff. Totally agree, I think it's all a load of pretentious bollocks. Most of the "doms" i've come into contact with are just controlling bullies you dont even have that you have a submissive bone in your body on your profile..and thats fine maybe you like to be in control and call others names for wanting to do to you, what you may do, to others...just saying..or maybe you are just another brat, that could be taught some respect, but i doubt it, submission is not worth anything, if its not given willingly x Or maybe I don't like being mentally or physically abused or humiliated? ok ..are you likening all Doms to being abusive or just the whole BDSM thing, isnt for you? you know its not compulsary dont you? Yes, which is why I don't participate" well then you are a happy bunny and so am i | |||
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"Being a Dom means taking extreme care of your sub. It's not about hitting, name calling or giving orders. When someone submits to you it is a precious gift. Whilst you may be "naturally" dominant there are courses you can attend where you can learn skills that will benefit both you and your sub such as rope bondage, the art of spanking/caning as well as learning some of the psychology of BDSM play. I agree totally with this. False Doms have no respect for the Sub and are in fact just bullies. Control is required to be a Dom knowing when to back off and when to push forward. So many DimDoms about it is Annoying!" nah its not..its a journey of self discovery, finding out who you connect with and who you dont..they are relatively easy to avoid if you know who you are as a person, what you attract and why...there are always assholes in the world..deal with it... | |||
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"It is so much more in the mind than physical stuff. It's what the "dimdoms" [taking that term from a previous poster] fail to realise. It is mostly how you are not what you try to be. You can refine your skills/process but you cannot become just because you want to be seen as Dom " Like that | |||
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"Being a Dom means taking extreme care of your sub. It's not about hitting, name calling or giving orders. When someone submits to you it is a precious gift. nah its not..its a journey of self discovery, finding out who you onnect with and who you dont.. .there are always assholes in the world..deal with it..." This is why I asked. I recently spoke to a woman, after the conversation has been everywhere it got to a point, I think I could have told her to do anything, and she would have. It made me feel very powerful. "Connections' . I think that could have been it. I knew the words she needed to hear, and she was begging me to say them.
I think we all agree there are arsoles around too. | |||
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"Being a Dom means taking extreme care of your sub. It's not about hitting, name calling or giving orders. When someone submits to you it is a precious gift. nah its not..its a journey of self discovery, finding out who you onnect with and who you dont.. .there are always assholes in the world..deal with it... This is why I asked. I recently spoke to a woman, after the conversation has been everywhere it got to a point, I think I could have told her to do anything, and she would have. It made me feel very powerful. "Connections' . I think that could have been it. I knew the words she needed to hear, and she was begging me to say them.
I think we all agree there are arsoles around too. "This is getting to the point now. Dominence is about control and power but for mutual plesure. The pysical BDSM is only one aspect of the relationship. A true Dom is not only in control of the Sub but of themselves. They are givers and not takers. For me the biggest turn on is the sound of a person taking real pleasure in what i am doing. It rocks! | |||
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" This is why I asked. I recently spoke to a woman, after the conversation has been everywhere it got to a point, I think I could have told her to do anything, and she would have. It made me feel very powerful. "Connections' . I think that could have been it. I knew the words she needed to hear, and she was begging me to say them.
I think we all agree there are arsoles around too.
This is getting to the point now. Dominence is about control and power but for mutual plesure. The pysical BDSM is only one aspect of the relationship. A true Dom is not only in control of the Sub but of themselves. They are givers and not takers. For me the biggest turn on is the sound of a person taking real pleasure in what i am doing. It rocks!"That's right. The feeling I got, knowing I could have whatever I wanted was great. A real thrill.  | |||
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"I'm saying that I find the wording of gifting submission pretentious. Not the act of dismissing anyone's thoughts or way they carry out their D/s activities. I don't see it as a gift. It's an exchange as the sub gets something from it. If it was a gift there would be nothing in exchange for it. In my opinion. X" ok I sort of see where you are coming from here but think on this. as a dominant I seduce consent from a submissive I do this by using her desires to turn her on, I know what she craves what turns her on. I know her dark desires what makes her go weak at the knees, I use this knowledge to seduce consent from her because by giving me her consent I can get my kick by taking her consent and using it to drive a sexual experienced tailor to both our needs . now once she gives that consent I can still use my knowledge of her desires by teasing her denying her that what I know she really wants. play with her sexually toy with her be merciless in my teasing and using of her sexual desire during our playtime. A true sub knows that I know her true sexual desire she also knows I may decide to deny her that desire not let her have that which she needs because I'm the dominant I decide not her that's one of the main points of the dynamic . now thinking of the dynamic like that isn't the subs consent a gift after all she has given it willingly with no promise of her desires being met because she has chosen to give that power to her dominant . the power to give or with hold is his and his alone . she may get her desires met or she may be brought to the edge teased but not given release shown the cane but not given . I will stop there as I think I've made my point . consent is a free gift it comes with no demands from the sub she trusts her dominant to give her what she desires but she never truly knows if he will give or deny because that power is his and his alone because she gifted him that power with her consent . yes she can take that power back at anytime by choosing not to play or by using her safe word during play . the art of being a true dominant is to make sure a sub never wants to take her consent back by seducing her into continually giving you her consent . | |||
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"I'm saying that I find the wording of gifting submission pretentious. Not the act of dismissing anyone's thoughts or way they carry out their D/s activities. I don't see it as a gift. It's an exchange as the sub gets something from it. If it was a gift there would be nothing in exchange for it. In my opinion. X ok I sort of see where you are coming from here but think on this. as a dominant I seduce consent from a submissive I do this by using her desires to turn her on, I know what she craves what turns her on. I know her dark desires what makes her go weak at the knees, I use this knowledge to seduce consent from her because by giving me her consent I can get my kick by taking her consent and using it to drive a sexual experienced tailor to both our needs . now once she gives that consent I can still use my knowledge of her desires by teasing her denying her that what I know she really wants. play with her sexually toy with her be merciless in my teasing and using of her sexual desire during our playtime. A true sub knows that I know her true sexual desire she also knows I may decide to deny her that desire not let her have that which she needs because I'm the dominant I decide not her that's one of the main points of the dynamic . now thinking of the dynamic like that isn't the subs consent a gift after all she has given it willingly with no promise of her desires being met because she has chosen to give that power to her dominant . the power to give or with hold is his and his alone . she may get her desires met or she may be brought to the edge teased but not given release shown the cane but not given . I will stop there as I think I've made my point . consent is a free gift it comes with no demands from the sub she trusts her dominant to give her what she desires but she never truly knows if he will give or deny because that power is his and his alone because she gifted him that power with her consent . yes she can take that power back at anytime by choosing not to play or by using her safe word during play . the art of being a true dominant is to make sure a sub never wants to take her consent back by seducing her into continually giving you her consent . " Yep that seams a good summery of the dynamic. As thery goes of course the person with the actual power is the sub. Story of O. At its heart the scene is a mutual exchange and in that equality in sexual politics achived. Mutuality of desire and satisfaction of that desire is a deeply satisfying experience. Not a role for the sudo-dom. | |||
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I think it's very important to be careful when you take that first step as not all Doms (or the ones who like to call themselves the title) are as passionate about it as you've been ,it's wonderful to hear this and I thank you.
I think unfortunately a certain book made it a trend as I see it to be "submissive" or "Dominant"
Whilst having sex or role-play which is fine if that's your thing.
But I think it's true submission or your a true Dom then saying that you are so after reading it and spanking someone or telling them to get on there knees then you are not.
So many forget about if itsomething safe , sane and consensual. Aftercare too if it's not given after a scene and the submissive drops it can be damaging to both parties.
I've been lucky that the Dominant gentlemen I've met have been just that.
I've learnt a lot just from read this thread.
So thank you | |||
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"This really has been a very interesting threads to read from both sides. I'm still currently finding myself , exploring in my own little way and thorougly enjoying myself. Thank you for the book hints I shall be liking into those Kitty
I think it's very important to be careful when you take that first step as not all Doms (or the ones who like to call themselves the title) are as passionate about it as you've been ,it's wonderful to hear this and I thank you.
I think unfortunately a certain book made it a trend as I see it to be "submissive" or "Dominant"
Whilst having sex or role-play which is fine if that's your thing.
But I think it's true submission or your a true Dom then saying that you are so after reading it and spanking someone or telling them to get on there knees then you are not.
So many forget about if itsomething safe , sane and consensual. Aftercare too if it's not given after a scene and the submissive drops it can be damaging to both parties.
I've been lucky that the Dominant gentlemen I've met have been just that.
I've learnt a lot just from read this thread.
So thank you "Can i suggest you read the story of O. Its much more informative, if somewhat scarrier, and a recent serise that the feench refer to as S&M for beginers. | |||
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"This really has been a very interesting threads to read from both sides. I'm still currently finding myself , exploring in my own little way and thorougly enjoying myself. Thank you for the book hints I shall be liking into those Kitty
I think it's very important to be careful when you take that first step as not all Doms (or the ones who like to call themselves the title) are as passionate about it as you've been ,it's wonderful to hear this and I thank you.
I think unfortunately a certain book made it a trend as I see it to be "submissive" or "Dominant"
Whilst having sex or role-play which is fine if that's your thing.
But I think it's true submission or your a true Dom then saying that you are so after reading it and spanking someone or telling them to get on there knees then you are not.
So many forget about if itsomething safe , sane and consensual. Aftercare too if it's not given after a scene and the submissive drops it can be damaging to both parties.
I've been lucky that the Dominant gentlemen I've met have been just that.
I've learnt a lot just from read this thread.
So thank you
Can i suggest you read the story of O. Its much more informative, if somewhat scarrier, and a recent serise that the feench refer to as S&M for beginners."the story of O, whilst informative is not a guide for beginners and represents very little to do with the BDSM scene in general..i read it to check where my hard limits were and i found them. its more to do with slave than sub anyway..good for a read but it wont appeal to 99% of people xx | |||
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"I'm saying that I find the wording of gifting submission pretentious. Not the act of dismissing anyone's thoughts or way they carry out their D/s activities. I don't see it as a gift. It's an exchange as the sub gets something from it. If it was a gift there would be nothing in exchange for it. In my opinion. X ok I sort of see where you are coming from here but think on this. as a dominant I seduce consent from a submissive I do this by using her desires to turn her on, I know what she craves what turns her on. I know her dark desires what makes her go weak at the knees, I use this knowledge to seduce consent from her because by giving me her consent I can get my kick by taking her consent and using it to drive a sexual experienced tailor to both our needs . now once she gives that consent I can still use my knowledge of her desires by teasing her denying her that what I know she really wants. play with her sexually toy with her be merciless in my teasing and using of her sexual desire during our playtime. A true sub knows that I know her true sexual desire she also knows I may decide to deny her that desire not let her have that which she needs because I'm the dominant I decide not her that's one of the main points of the dynamic . now thinking of the dynamic like that isn't the subs consent a gift after all she has given it willingly with no promise of her desires being met because she has chosen to give that power to her dominant . the power to give or with hold is his and his alone . she may get her desires met or she may be brought to the edge teased but not given release shown the cane but not given . I will stop there as I think I've made my point . consent is a free gift it comes with no demands from the sub she trusts her dominant to give her what she desires but she never truly knows if he will give or deny because that power is his and his alone because she gifted him that power with her consent . yes she can take that power back at anytime by choosing not to play or by using her safe word during play . the art of being a true dominant is to make sure a sub never wants to take her consent back by seducing her into continually giving you her consent . " Blimey! We are in danger of both seeing each others point here | |||
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"This really has been a very interesting threads to read from both sides. I'm still currently finding myself , exploring in my own little way and thorougly enjoying myself. Thank you for the book hints I shall be liking into those Kitty
I think it's very important to be careful when you take that first step as not all Doms (or the ones who like to call themselves the title) are as passionate about it as you've been ,it's wonderful to hear this and I thank you.
I think unfortunately a certain book made it a trend as I see it to be "submissive" or "Dominant"
Whilst having sex or role-play which is fine if that's your thing.
But I think it's true submission or your a true Dom then saying that you are so after reading it and spanking someone or telling them to get on there knees then you are not.
So many forget about if itsomething safe , sane and consensual. Aftercare too if it's not given after a scene and the submissive drops it can be damaging to both parties.
I've been lucky that the Dominant gentlemen I've met have been just that.
I've learnt a lot just from read this thread.
So thank you
Can i suggest you read the story of O. Its much more informative, if somewhat scarrier, and a recent serise that the feench refer to as S&M for beginners.the story of O, whilst informative is not a guide for beginners and represents very little to do with the BDSM scene in general..i read it to check where my hard limits were and i found them. its more to do with slave than sub anyway..good for a read but it wont appeal to 99% of people xx" | |||
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"This really has been a very interesting threads to read from both sides. I'm still currently finding myself , exploring in my own little way and thorougly enjoying myself. Thank you for the book hints I shall be liking into those Kitty
I think it's very important to be careful when you take that first step as not all Doms (or the ones who like to call themselves the title) are as passionate about it as you've been ,it's wonderful to hear this and I thank you.
I think unfortunately a certain book made it a trend as I see it to be "submissive" or "Dominant"
Whilst having sex or role-play which is fine if that's your thing.
But I think it's true submission or your a true Dom then saying that you are so after reading it and spanking someone or telling them to get on there knees then you are not.
So many forget about if itsomething safe , sane and consensual. Aftercare too if it's not given after a scene and the submissive drops it can be damaging to both parties.
I've been lucky that the Dominant gentlemen I've met have been just that.
I've learnt a lot just from read this thread.
So thank you
Can i suggest you read the story of O. Its much more informative, if somewhat scarrier, and a recent serise that the feench refer to as S&M for beginers."I'm certainly not a beginner in the lifestyle and as kitty has said that book leans more towards the slave side which isn't really for myself but I think it will be an interesting read nonetheless | |||
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"This really has been a very interesting threads to read from both sides. I'm still currently finding myself , exploring in my own little way and thorougly enjoying myself. Thank you for the book hints I shall be liking into those Kitty
I think it's very important to be careful when you take that first step as not all Doms (or the ones who like to call themselves the title) are as passionate about it as you've been ,it's wonderful to hear this and I thank you.
I think unfortunately a certain book made it a trend as I see it to be "submissive" or "Dominant"
Whilst having sex or role-play which is fine if that's your thing.
But I think it's true submission or your a true Dom then saying that you are so after reading it and spanking someone or telling them to get on there knees then you are not.
So many forget about if itsomething safe , sane and consensual. Aftercare too if it's not given after a scene and the submissive drops it can be damaging to both parties.
I've been lucky that the Dominant gentlemen I've met have been just that.
I've learnt a lot just from read this thread.
So thank you
Can i suggest you read the story of O. Its much more informative, if somewhat scarrier, and a recent serise that the feench refer to as S&M for beginers.
I'm certainly not a beginner in the lifestyle and as kitty has said that book leans more towards the slave side which isn't really for myself but I think it will be an interesting read nonetheless "it is..it sorts out in yourself any undercurrents of slave tendencies, ownership, hard limits, relationships the works, self discovery/ reflection central.. a bit softer but also very stimulating are the Gor Books although i wouldnt start from the beginning...for the girls id start with one primarily concerned with the girel character of the story, for example the dancer of Gor..its very interesting how the writer ( who is a sociology or psychology professor) eliminates parts of earth life to make his world believable. controlling cultural aspects and therefore the gender dynamics than can be cultivated outside the box..ive read all of them and i learnt a lot about myself through them as a sub, what i like do/ dont like, added some things to the list, and it shifted a few things for me psychologically.. | |||
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"This really has been a very interesting threads to read from both sides. I'm still currently finding myself , exploring in my own little way and thorougly enjoying myself. Thank you for the book hints I shall be liking into those Kitty
I think it's very important to be careful when you take that first step as not all Doms (or the ones who like to call themselves the title) are as passionate about it as you've been ,it's wonderful to hear this and I thank you.
I think unfortunately a certain book made it a trend as I see it to be "submissive" or "Dominant"
Whilst having sex or role-play which is fine if that's your thing.
But I think it's true submission or your a true Dom then saying that you are so after reading it and spanking someone or telling them to get on there knees then you are not.
So many forget about if itsomething safe , sane and consensual. Aftercare too if it's not given after a scene and the submissive drops it can be damaging to both parties.
I've been lucky that the Dominant gentlemen I've met have been just that.
I've learnt a lot just from read this thread.
So thank you
Can i suggest you read the story of O. Its much more informative, if somewhat scarrier, and a recent serise that the feench refer to as S&M for beginers.
I'm certainly not a beginner in the lifestyle and as kitty has said that book leans more towards the slave side which isn't really for myself but I think it will be an interesting read nonetheless it is..it sorts out in yourself any undercurrents of slave tendencies, ownership, hard limits, relationships the works, self discovery/ reflection central.. a bit softer but also very stimulating are the Gor Books although i wouldnt start from the beginning...for the girls id start with one primarily concerned with the girel character of the story, for example the dancer of Gor..its very interesting how the writer ( who is a sociology or psychology professor) eliminates parts of earth life to make his world believable. controlling cultural aspects and therefore the gender dynamics than can be cultivated outside the box..ive read all of them and i learnt a lot about myself through them as a sub, what i like do/ dont like, added some things to the list, and it shifted a few things for me psychologically.."I read the Gor books when l was 12, somehow l did not get that out of it. I thought the books were now on the feminist banned list. | |||
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"This really has been a very interesting threads to read from both sides. I'm still currently finding myself , exploring in my own little way and thorougly enjoying myself. Thank you for the book hints I shall be liking into those Kitty
I think it's very important to be careful when you take that first step as not all Doms (or the ones who like to call themselves the title) are as passionate about it as you've been ,it's wonderful to hear this and I thank you.
I think unfortunately a certain book made it a trend as I see it to be "submissive" or "Dominant"
Whilst having sex or role-play which is fine if that's your thing.
But I think it's true submission or your a true Dom then saying that you are so after reading it and spanking someone or telling them to get on there knees then you are not.
So many forget about if itsomething safe , sane and consensual. Aftercare too if it's not given after a scene and the submissive drops it can be damaging to both parties.
I've been lucky that the Dominant gentlemen I've met have been just that.
I've learnt a lot just from read this thread.
So thank you
Can i suggest you read the story of O. Its much more informative, if somewhat scarrier, and a recent serise that the feench refer to as S&M for beginers.
I'm certainly not a beginner in the lifestyle and as kitty has said that book leans more towards the slave side which isn't really for myself but I think it will be an interesting read nonetheless it is..it sorts out in yourself any undercurrents of slave tendencies, ownership, hard limits, relationships the works, self discovery/ reflection central.. a bit softer but also very stimulating are the Gor Books although i wouldnt start from the beginning...for the girls id start with one primarily concerned with the girel character of the story, for example the dancer of Gor..its very interesting how the writer ( who is a sociology or psychology professor) eliminates parts of earth life to make his world believable. controlling cultural aspects and therefore the gender dynamics than can be cultivated outside the box..ive read all of them and i learnt a lot about myself through them as a sub, what i like do/ dont like, added some things to the list, and it shifted a few things for me psychologically..
I read the Gor books when l was 12, somehow l did not get that out of it.
I thought the books were now on the feminist banned list."im not a feminist.. | |||
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"This really has been a very interesting threads to read from both sides. I'm still currently finding myself , exploring in my own little way and thorougly enjoying myself. Thank you for the book hints I shall be liking into those Kitty
I think it's very important to be careful when you take that first step as not all Doms (or the ones who like to call themselves the title) are as passionate about it as you've been ,it's wonderful to hear this and I thank you.
I think unfortunately a certain book made it a trend as I see it to be "submissive" or "Dominant"
Whilst having sex or role-play which is fine if that's your thing.
But I think it's true submission or your a true Dom then saying that you are so after reading it and spanking someone or telling them to get on there knees then you are not.
So many forget about if itsomething safe , sane and consensual. Aftercare too if it's not given after a scene and the submissive drops it can be damaging to both parties.
I've been lucky that the Dominant gentlemen I've met have been just that.
I've learnt a lot just from read this thread.
So thank you
Can i suggest you read the story of O. Its much more informative, if somewhat scarrier, and a recent serise that the feench refer to as S&M for beginers.
I'm certainly not a beginner in the lifestyle and as kitty has said that book leans more towards the slave side which isn't really for myself but I think it will be an interesting read nonetheless it is..it sorts out in yourself any undercurrents of slave tendencies, ownership, hard limits, relationships the works, self discovery/ reflection central.. a bit softer but also very stimulating are the Gor Books although i wouldnt start from the beginning...for the girls id start with one primarily concerned with the girel character of the story, for example the dancer of Gor..its very interesting how the writer ( who is a sociology or psychology professor) eliminates parts of earth life to make his world believable. controlling cultural aspects and therefore the gender dynamics than can be cultivated outside the box..ive read all of them and i learnt a lot about myself through them as a sub, what i like do/ dont like, added some things to the list, and it shifted a few things for me psychologically..
I read the Gor books when l was 12, somehow l did not get that out of it.
I thought the books were now on the feminist banned list.im not a feminist.."Only oppressive regimes ban books!! | |||
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"Being a Dom means taking extreme care of your sub. It's not about hitting, name calling or giving orders. When someone submits to you it is a precious gift. Whilst you may be "naturally" dominant there are courses you can attend where you can learn skills that will benefit both you and your sub such as rope bondage, the art of spanking/caning as well as learning some of the psychology of BDSM play. " | |||
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"Being a Dom means taking extreme care of your sub. It's not about hitting, name calling or giving orders. When someone submits to you it is a precious gift. Whilst you may be "naturally" dominant there are courses you can attend where you can learn skills that will benefit both you and your sub such as rope bondage, the art of spanking/caning as well as learning some of the psychology of BDSM play. " | |||
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"Bickering and infighting is exactly why people outside of the BDSM scene fail to understand our dynamics and quirks. As someone in the scene watching this whole thread has made me feel a little bit disheartened. BDSM and even Dom/sub is such a huge and all encompassing thing that it's hard to find 2 people alike, which is why there are so many differing views and opinions. Just because we share a vague similar kink doesn't mean we are going to all get along but please at least be respectful of people as human beings with feelings. There are ways to disagree with someone and get your opinion across without resorting to name calling and hurtful words. Let's leave that for the consentual scenes hey! Right. Now that is off my chest my tuppence worth about the 'gift of submission' Personally I don't like the term or the concept. Mainly because the people I've heard use it (in real life) have used it in the context of a conversation that makes it clear they view their submission as something far greater then anyother relationship and that upsets me. In my mind it's an aspect a part of who I am and my relationship. It doesn't make my relationship more or better then someone in a vanilla relationship, or someone who swings, it just makes it different. (Admittedly it doesn't help that some of the people I've heard use it are pledging 24/7TPE to a Master on day and then 2 weeks later they turn up wearing someone else's collar) If someone wants to describe their submission as a gift then great and all play to them, provided they don't expect me to participate! If they then use that term to belittle mine or anyone else's dynamic I'll call them out on it, but again, I just see that as being a normal, decent human being. " Thank you for your post and getting away from the 'one true way' declarations you get on fab. Personally l love rope and impact but people do their things differently and there is too much pushing of beginners down those paths. Kink has a wide spectrum, look at the whole range. I put communication and safety above trust as trust can be misplaced. Personal responsibility informed consensual kink is what counts. https://www.kinkly.com/definition/1176/personal-responsibility-informed-consensual-kink-prick | |||
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