FabSwingers.com forum: Why are people put of profiles with lots of verifications?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 20:27:15]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random. "

yep, same here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because I'm not a 'proper' swinger and people who are all about clubs and stuff aren't likely to want to meet me, or vice versa.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Some are.. some arent. If ive met to many people for someone then they arent for me either... so its no worries either way.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site. "

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks. "

Yes but why do people think that lots of verifications equates to 'random faceless passionless fucks' ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Cos we actually get to meet and fuck not sit and dream or waste countless hours on the forums worrying what others are or maybe doing

only saying like

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

Yes but why do people think that lots of verifications equates to 'random faceless passionless fucks' ?"

Previous threads criticising those who don't meet every week or fuck in clubs. And comments like "They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 21:11:53]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 21:12:09]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Cos we actually get to meet and fuck not sit and dream or waste countless hours on the forums worrying what others are or maybe doing

only saying like

So what's the threshold for being a time wasting forum dreamer? Anything less than 50? 30? 20?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I rarely look but if I do and there were volumes of sex meets over a short time line, I would move on.

I am put off my people who seem to live and breath swinging, it's like the oxygen they need.

That for me is off putting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random. "

So well put!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I make no apologies for wanting to feel special ~ if you don't like that then don't meet me, haven't had an issue to date so I guess a fair few people think the same way as me.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Every body seems to be following the thread that I tried to delete due to the typo. What I asked in the other thread was, if too many verifications are a turn-off as it equates to too many meets, then what do people consider 'too many meets'?

And if people on a swing site are that judgemental about numbers, are verifications an accurate way of judging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random. "

So somebody who has met a lot of people wouldn't want to meet and want you As an individual?

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By *aughty_amazonWoman
over a year ago

BRISTOL

I prefer proper steamy sessions rather than quick fucks so i tend to stuck with a few sexy play mates and repeat meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 20:27:15]"

When I had a single profile on here. I was told by a single male I was a health hazard because I had a number of verifications. If he had taken the time to read them everyone apart from 1 from my boyfriend was a social meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not. If I find the lady attractive and enjoy chatting to her, I'll meet her even if she has 500 verifications.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks. "

I've had a lot of meets in my 4 years,they weren't random,faceless,passionless fucks.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

I've had a lot of meets in my 4 years,they weren't random,faceless,passionless fucks. "

People on this site are only able to compute 2 extremes of a situation. It's what makes me so amused in the forum and why i continue to contribute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Every body seems to be following the thread that I tried to delete due to the typo. What I asked in the other thread was, if too many verifications are a turn-off as it equates to too many meets, then what do people consider 'too many meets'?

And if people on a swing site are that judgemental about numbers, are verifications an accurate way of judging?"

No they aren't accurate. I have 4 verifications,1 from someone I met way before we joined here,1 from someone I met over a year ago,1 from a woman friend I haven't had sex with. Which leaves one recent one,and I've had a lot more sexual meets than 2 from here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random. "

What makes you different to 'anyone'? You say meet you but aren't you a anyone at some point to somebody

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

While at first glance it looks like we have loads (we have over 100), most of those are webcam ones. We have about 20 or so meet ones, and even then some of those are just social. You'll also notice ours are spaced out.

Why wouldn't we display nice genuine verifications that show people how nice or sexy we are? It would be silly not too.

There's a different though between having 100 various ones like us, and having 100 ones from meeting people every other day. C xx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 20:27:15]

This is what jars with me, the way verifications are used to judge someone's behaviour. We've been verified by 41 people through 58 meets. Some of these people we probably spent 5 minutes chat

chatting to at a party. We have met a grand total of 7 men privately through a Fab and 2 of them we didn't even have sex with. That's in 2 years! Nobody could possibly say we have a lot of meets.

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

This is a tricky one for myself who likes a lot of socials.

I won't meet just anyone for fun so those veris are get lost in amongst social ones.

Does that make me look bad? If someone reads them they'd get I like socialising but then they might think that's all I do.

If someone doesn't read them it looks like I meet too much?

Am I now over analysing this? Yep

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 21:40:09]

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks. "

I have a few veris and have both a face and passion, when required.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And if people on a swing site are that judgemental about numbers, are verifications an accurate way of judging?"

There's no set number for me - it's just what picture that number contributes to. 50 veris over a couple of years, all seem to be individual meets with women, great. 50 veris over a month, all seem to be individual meets with women, makes me think they have fuck all else going on in their life than meeting people for sex and that's deeply unattractive to me. 50 veris over 6 months, all from clubs, makes me think they are "lifestyle" swingers and that's not for me.

I will judge the fuck out of anyone and everyone I want, in whatever way I want. You're damn right I want to feel special, and I'm getting what I want, so I'll stay here on this swinging site pleasing myself if that's ok with the people who make the rules.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 20:27:15]

This is what jars with me, the way verifications are used to judge someone's behaviour. We've been verified by 41 people through 58 meets. Some of these people we probably spent 5 minutes chat

chatting to at a party. We have met a grand total of 7 men privately through a Fab and 2 of them we didn't even have sex with. That's in 2 years! Nobody could possibly say we have a lot of meets. "

Why justify it to people... .. what does it matter if someone has 100 play meets or social ones.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 20:27:15]

This is what jars with me, the way verifications are used to judge someone's behaviour. We've been verified by 41 people through 58 meets. Some of these people we probably spent 5 minutes chat

chatting to at a party. We have met a grand total of 7 men privately through a Fab and 2 of them we didn't even have sex with. That's in 2 years! Nobody could possibly say we have a lot of meets.

Why justify it to people... .. what does it matter if someone has 100 play meets or social ones."

Exactly. Nobody should have to justify anything and if others don't like the way we do things they don't have to meet us. But the attitudes of some on here seem to think they are law.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 20:27:15]

This is what jars with me, the way verifications are used to judge someone's behaviour. We've been verified by 41 people through 58 meets. Some of these people we probably spent 5 minutes chat

chatting to at a party. We have met a grand total of 7 men privately through a Fab and 2 of them we didn't even have sex with. That's in 2 years! Nobody could possibly say we have a lot of meets. "

Why let it jar, just be happy doing your thing.

People judge

I judge

I am judged

In the grand scheme of life, who the fuck cares what random people on the internet think

The second I do, I stop

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 20:27:15]

This is what jars with me, the way verifications are used to judge someone's behaviour. We've been verified by 41 people through 58 meets. Some of these people we probably spent 5 minutes chat

chatting to at a party. We have met a grand total of 7 men privately through a Fab and 2 of them we didn't even have sex with. That's in 2 years! Nobody could possibly say we have a lot of meets. "

It shocked me to be honset with you. As I certainly didn't expect the reaction I did when I messaged him. I just said well if coming out for a drink with me is a hazard to your health then yeah u suppose I am a danger to mankind lol x

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By *hocolateRodMan
over a year ago

London and over UK

"[Removed by poster at 28/08/16 20:27:15]

This is what jars with me, the way verifications are used to judge someone's behaviour. We've been verified by 41 people through 58 meets. Some of these people we probably spent 5 minutes chat

chatting to at a party. We have met a grand total of 7 men privately through a Fab and 2 of them we didn't even have sex with. That's in 2 years! Nobody could possibly say we have a lot of meets. "

Why do you care? Has someone said something to you - if so - just ignore them

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By *orthwest_cplCouple
over a year ago

Stretford

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random. "
You've had 4 verifications in 5 weeks - that averages out at about 40 per year. Is that too many? In 3 years you'll have over 100 at that rate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The most probable and honest answer to the OPs question is because they are not, in their heart, just seeking pure NSA sex. So they are measuring and evaluating the potential sex meet as they would a potential life partner where previous history is considered important.

Alternatively they may be concerened that, if they meet a well veried member, their own performance will be adversly compared with many others and found wanting.

But they will strongly deny this and say they are "choosy" want "quality not quantity" and need "chemistry".

In the end each to their own. I display my veris and am like my profile describes me. If you don't like it; pass on by. Plenty seem interested in the real me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random. "

Agree

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And if people on a swing site are that judgemental about numbers, are verifications an accurate way of judging?

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By *haunMan
over a year ago

Halton

For me, one of the main issues is the fact that on Fab it only shows that I have been a member / joined over a year ago.

Having now been on the site (and the same profile) for over 5 years.

People don't see that.

So people see that I have been verified just over 50 times.

For some, that is too many. (as they can't see easily over what time period)

But 50 over 5 years with over 50% of these (if not more) social verifications as I enjoy going to clubs and do take time out to chat and socialise with people.

I think it is very easy to make snap decisions (and appreciate that single ladies and couples may only _iew quickly other profiles and have to make a snap decision due to inundated message volumes)

But sometimes, it is just a little bit of common sense.

I see a person / couple with a lot of verifications and take a quick look through them.

oh.. this person hosted a party, and they have 20 verifications from the same night.

Or, this person is meeting a different person every single night.

I suppose a lot is what you want and the type of person you are interested in.

Ultimately, people do and like different things.

(Clubs or house meets, soft swing or full swing, tall people, slim people, age range etc. etc.)

Do what you enjoy, and have fun.

As to me that is what it is all about.

If someone stands out for the right reasons? then contact them.

If not, just move on (no need to send or give grief. Peoples personal choices and stop being bitter because they don't fit your 'ideals' or maybe reject you because you don't fit theirs.

Maybe if Fab gave you (under your account management) the option to show years on site?

So if I wanted to show that I have been on over 5 years then I can do.

Or I can default to the:

joined: over a year ago.

But that's just my opinion.

For me... I tend to meet people in clubs anyway, so I am less concerned about their Fab history.

More to do with how I connect with the person / couple at the time.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a lot of verifications but 75% are social meets.... They don't send put a message that I am here to shag lots of men

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm not judging people who've met "lots" (insert your own number here based on timescales, types of meet and lifestyle) of others.

I'm just not looking to meet them.

The OP asked why and I answered from my opinion.

Some people have a different _iew,obviously, because we're a diverse group.

But I don't understand why me not wanting to meet someone is seen as overly negative. They wouldn't want to meet me either.

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By *nlyfun3Woman
over a year ago

NEAR Berkhamsted,Herts

I've had people say I have too many. But if they read my profile and my verifications they'd see they aren't random people. I'm very select that people often complain about lol. But tbh if people aren't willing to read what I have on my profile they are not who I want to meet anyway. I'm here for fun and this just happens to be a site I'm using atm and I've been on over 4 years and have brought people i know to this site. My oldest I've known 18 years. With that in mind my veris pale to a poor average lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm not judging people who've met "lots" (insert your own number here based on timescales, types of meet and lifestyle) of others.

I'm just not looking to meet them.

The OP asked why and I answered from my opinion.

Some people have a different _iew,obviously, because we're a diverse group.

But I don't understand why me not wanting to meet someone is seen as overly negative. They wouldn't want to meet me either. "

Basically, there's not much point asking the question if you don't want the answer.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i enjoy fucking a lot of guys and fucking guys who love that i fuck a lot of guys.

don't really care if my veris put anyone off me. and i wouldn't waste time on wondering why, just i would carry on fucking a lot of guys.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/08/16 00:00:23]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

I've had a lot of meets in my 4 years,they weren't random,faceless,passionless fucks.

People on this site are only able to compute 2 extremes of a situation. It's what makes me so amused in the forum and why i continue to contribute.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

I've had a lot of meets in my 4 years,they weren't random,faceless,passionless fucks.

People on this site are only able to compute 2 extremes of a situation. It's what makes me so amused in the forum and why i continue to contribute.

The title of the thread in this case mentions "lots". Not a couple. Or a few. Or a few more than most. Or anything within the central part of the graph if anyone cared to plot the frequency distribution of verifications. But "lots".

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By *P1964Woman
over a year ago

gillingham

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random. "

I ditto that. I find it puts me right off when I read loads of verifications

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stupid...the whole verification process is stupid...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stupid...the whole verification process is stupid..."

Because...?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random.

I ditto that. I find it puts me right off when I read loads of verifications

Lol 99% of guys on here will meet anyone, they so out number women that if they get a sniff of interest they go for it, none of us are special

Being in here is about finding people to have NSA fun with, that's it! What or who they've done in the past makes no difference. What puts people off loads of verifications is there own self doubt

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

don't let him get to you all.

so what if you're not compatible with him?

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

So, what about the ones who "play the game" and only show a few of their latest veries... or one or two from every year they have been here... or the odd one or two that show them in the best light.... ad infinitum?

We show every single veri we get... but about 2 thirds or more are socials or other events, which leaves us averaging about 1 play meet every 6 weeks, maybe longer.... if you briefly looked at our profile I doubt that is the impression it gives.

Do we give a fuck if they judge us?

What do you think lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"don't let him get to you all.

so what if you're not compatible with him?"

You are mistaking toying with someone as letting him get to us

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks. "

NSA doesn't have to mean a random faceless fuck either

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although a warm toilet seat in a public toilet is more comfortable, one always wonders who was there first...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

NSA doesn't have to mean a random faceless fuck either"

I agree. That's exactly what I said. I was countering the comment mocking those who want to feel more than just another number.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok drop the ganging up on the man and his profile as you are breaking forum rules

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

NSA doesn't have to mean a random faceless fuck either

I agree. That's exactly what I said. I was countering the comment mocking those who want to feel more than just another number. "

I would say you were just going from one extreme to the other and Nanna's post didn't come across as mocking you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

NSA doesn't have to mean a random faceless fuck either"

Or passionless, I've had great mind blowing sex with a guy that was random and only once due to circumstances. And I've had shit sex with someone I've had a connection with chatted to for a while but physically weren't compatible.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Stupid...the whole verification process is stupid..."

You've been verified, surely as a single man on here that has helped you?

If your referring to the written text well that's subjective as to whether it's stupid or not

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

NSA doesn't have to mean a random faceless fuck either"

Well said

Of course it doesn't ....

Every meet we have is designed to leave everyone involved feeling special , and we succeed .

The meet and the play are why we swing . No more , no less . Anyone who thinks a meet with lifestyle swingers is without passion and feeling is wrong .

It's all about the passion , eroticism , lust and carnal desire .

Ok , so some want the pre meet build up , the drinks , the social , etc.... And that's cool for them . We just love unbridled sexual encounters and surprising as this may seem , the passion is often enhanced by not knowing much at all about those you play with , despite so many claiming that getting to know your meet first leads to better sex . Not for everyone it doesn't , especially us . Meets with those we have barely chatted to are invariably better than those we have chatted to for ages .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although a warm toilet seat in a public toilet is more comfortable, one always wonders who was there first..."

Ok , it was us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although a warm toilet seat in a public toilet is more comfortable, one always wonders who was there first...

Ok , it was us

No doubt!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

I've had a lot of meets in my 4 years,they weren't random,faceless,passionless fucks. "

Same here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although a warm toilet seat in a public toilet is more comfortable, one always wonders who was there first...

Ok , it was us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Although a warm toilet seat in a public toilet is more comfortable, one always wonders who was there first...

Ok , it was us

No doubt!!

And it was proper passionate and with meaning too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the common consensus by those who think the swinging scene is all "Message, Fuck and go" are sorely mistaken.

Sure - many of us could have that same approach of daily meets. Most of us could get that from here, Tinder, POF, Grindr or a club at 3am - whichever floats your boat. But the essence of how it works for everyone as an individual (or couple) will differ greatly. But one huge factor is attraction...

I'd rather have a regular partner who likes the other side if it's an attraction shared beyond initial looks, what they like, size preference etc. Uncomplicated but with an element of depth. Longer lasting than just a "Cum and run" meet. Foreplay lasting longer than your average fuck some may pride themselves upon. Dual focus rather than sole kicks = something more!

Essentially a case of "I'm worth more so I can hold out until I find that click". I think that goes for many airing their thoughts on this thread.

We know it's not a dating site - but it's that personal element of finding something/someone that feels better and more than a physical burst for the sake if it.

Sorry, I went off on a tangent... Again!

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"I rarely look but if I do and there were volumes of sex meets over a short time line, I would move on.

I am put off my people who seem to live and breath swinging, it's like the oxygen they need.

That for me is off putting.

I think the same, though it doesnt always put me off meeting people depends how many verifications and who they have met.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random. "

So why are you on here then?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do people read the verifications or as soon as they see more than ten run a mile?

For example most of ours are are socials

Also lots cam verifications that we never asked for, but still show up on our list.

Doesn't mean we have fucked loads of people.

In almost 4year's of Swinging Jools has only had sex with 3 men.

Some of our verifications are from the smell people on different occasions.

Reading between the lines regarding some of the comments on here, the way it comes across is that some are very egotistical and have big ego's and want to feel special.

Maybe a swinging site is not the best place for those wanting to be "the one".

So you see what I did there, I made assumptions based on people's comments and judged them for it.

In the same way some are making assumptions and judging based on verifications and the number of.

Bottom line is, we are all different if lot's of verifications is not your thing then so be it, or vice versa if you want to meet loads then so be it.

Viva la difference.

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By *tephanie19631TV/TS
over a year ago

oxford

Sexual health safety ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People may also be put off

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By *r and mrs willingCouple
over a year ago

SOUTH WEST & WALES

And if people on a swing site are that judgemental about numbers, are verifications an accurate way of judging?"

No such thing as too many for us - it's the content that matters. They reveal as much as the profile text and pics. And we wouldn't meet anyone not displaying veries, any more than we'd meet without seeing pics.

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By *r and mrs willingCouple
over a year ago

SOUTH WEST & WALES

[Removed by poster at 29/08/16 07:48:44]

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By *ltimateGemWoman
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random.

So well put!"

I have a fair few verifications. Not many to do with sexual engagement. Most of mine are from men and women that I have only talked to at clubs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Verifications are a funny thing, no one is ever going to put up a bad one! If you verified someone doesn't mean that you've had sex though it will probably be assumed! And I'm sure that there are lots of meetings that happen without a vitrification.

So it's hard to judge from them alone

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thank you all for your contributions. How I'm interpreting the responses is that is sounds like the main reason people would be turned off a profile like ours, with a fair number of verifications, is because they think those verifications represent so many meets that they would not be special, and that the sex would be impersonal.

The reality is that we've actually only met 7 men privately in 2 years, even though our veris state we have met 43 profiles. The men we have met privately we have enjoyed very special friendships with. How is it possible for us to have so many veris? Well we go to parties and we host parties. Simples.

To the people who say 'don't worry about what others think'. No of course I'm not going to worry. It wasn't until I started chatting in the forums that I learnt some people don't like verifications, because my previous experience of Fab from attending parties was that verifications after every parties was the norm.

I think I'm just more intrigued as to why people regard verification numbers as an accurate reflection on someone's approach, when it clearly is totally inaccurate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Thank you all for your contributions. How I'm interpreting the responses is that is sounds like the main reason people would be turned off a profile like ours, with a fair number of verifications, is because they think those verifications represent so many meets that they would not be special, and that the sex would be impersonal.

I think I'm just more intrigued as to why people regard verification numbers as an accurate reflection on someone's approach, when it clearly is totally inaccurate. "

I think in the event of mass verifications there are those who have them for multiple reasons but there are those who just live for the scene and shag their way through Fab (and it's their choice). But even if anyone chooses the latter - it's no more than their own business. As long as safety is a thing then fuck anyone else whether it's 1 meet or 100.

Granted we're all different - but life is for living within the boundaries of whatever an individual deems as what is for them.

Enjoy it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People usually want to meet people they are compatible with. They use many different aspects when choosing who to meet.

Verifications on one internet site don't in any way prove anything- with regards to sexual history or psychotic tendencies.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

A few people i have met for sex didnt leave me a verification and i didnt leave them one either, maybe they dont want everyone to know they have met me and after reading some forum posts you can understand why also because some women dont like to meet men who have met certain women. You could be put off meeting someone who you know didnt use a condom when he met someone who says must use condoms.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm just more intrigued as to why people regard verification numbers as an accurate reflection on someone's approach, when it clearly is totally inaccurate. "

But literally no one has said it's all about that number. It's about what picture that number and their content contributes to. I sure get judged for my 2 hidden verifications and for having the temerity to like being made to feel special, just as much as any of the more prolific meeters claim to be judged for theirs.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm just more intrigued as to why people regard verification numbers as an accurate reflection on someone's approach, when it clearly is totally inaccurate.

Ruby love your profile, people are always going to judge! Be it your looks your profile your verifications!! We can only be who we are and if others like them great if not it's their loss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So what would people class as a lot of veris? And do you read the veris first to see if they are social or play meets?

We have 66 veris which seems quite high but then that is over 8 years and most or from socials we actually have 9 play meet veris over 8 years which is not a high number at all, but if you just looked at our summary you would think we get about a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would not meet anyone with lots of veris, mostly they are members who go to clubs or socials which do not interest me at this present moment. It is not a judgment though. I prefer one to one xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think I'm just more intrigued as to why people regard verification numbers as an accurate reflection on someone's approach, when it clearly is totally inaccurate. "

Probably because there are some people who will look at a profile take it for face value & not see maybe the bigger picture when it comes to veris ~ Similar to those that believe all they read in the Daily Mail!

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

How would anyone know .. not everyone verifies everyone, some don't display them ..

I meet folk that i find attractive and Interest me,

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what would people class as a lot of veris? And do you read the veris first to see if they are social or play meets?

It's subjective isn't it, what I think is high would be considered low by other's standards.

My consideration isnt the tally per se, more how many they recieved in one day / one week & by whom.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what would people class as a lot of veris? And do you read the veris first to see if they are social or play meets?

It's subjective isn't it, what I think is high would be considered low by other's standards.

My consideration isnt the tally per se, more how many they recieved in one day / one week & by whom."

But would you read them veris? If you have been to a social you can easily get 10 in a day or 2 but none of them play meets so is it the number or the content as well?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random. "

Same for me I would also be looking for repeat meets so if they are just meeting people for one off enjoyment I'd wish them well but would not be interested in being another one off for them. It's just my personal preference.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

People moving to the next profile for whatever reason is allowed, it's mostly done in silence.

why people are overly concerned to the reason beggars belief at times.

We all like different things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And if people on a swing site are that judgemental about numbers, are verifications an accurate way of judging?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know a lovely gentleman who has a good few verifies but he a very nice and respecful man. He knows i love him to bits x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So what would people class as a lot of veris? And do you read the veris first to see if they are social or play meets?

It's subjective isn't it, what I think is high would be considered low by other's standards.

My consideration isnt the tally per se, more how many they recieved in one day / one week & by whom.

But would you read them veris? If you have been to a social you can easily get 10 in a day or 2 but none of them play meets so is it the number or the content as well?"

I'd skim read them & make my mind up that way. I'd _iew multiple veris from a party / club in a different way then I'd _iew say 3 veris from 3 different meets in one day.

Veris for me are part of the whole picture as to whether I'd meet someone or not. They're not the be all end all but they help give an indication into that persons preferences & style of meeting.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random.

So you feel that large numbers of veris means that that person/couple only do one-offs?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't be egotistical enough to flatter myself I'm special, this is nsa, and I'm just another fuck to the guys on here.

I like veris, I like to use them as a quick judge of the person I'm interested in meeting.

Are they good in bed?

Are they experienced swingers, so less likely to be nervous and awkward?

I know it's not an accurate gauge of someone but it seems to work well for me.

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By *hocolateRodMan
over a year ago

London and over UK

"I wouldn't be egotistical enough to flatter myself I'm special, this is nsa, and I'm just another fuck to the guys on here.

I like veris, I like to use them as a quick judge of the person I'm interested in meeting.

Are they good in bed?

Are they experienced swingers, so less likely to be nervous and awkward?

I know it's not an accurate gauge of someone but it seems to work well for me."

Agreed - for me as single guy - its a simple check that they are real and not time wasters. The quantity of ver is can also be helpful - if they have had only one meet in 5 years - then implies they are unlikely to meet. The rest is meaningless

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

10 veri's or less - no condom.

20 veri's or less - wear 1 condom.

30 veri's or less - wear 2 condoms.

Over 50 veri's - wear 3 condoms.

Over 100 veri's - use a femidom and 3 condoms and spray genitals with "fabreeze car - dog scent removal anti bacterial spray".

Over 500 veri's - full HAZ MAT handling suit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"10 veri's or less - no condom.

20 veri's or less - wear 1 condom.

30 veri's or less - wear 2 condoms.

Over 50 veri's - wear 3 condoms.

Over 100 veri's - use a femidom and 3 condoms and spray genitals with "fabreeze car - dog scent removal anti bacterial spray".

Over 500 veri's - full HAZ MAT handling suit.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks. "

So people who meet regualr with different people are just having random faceless passionless fucks?

Interesting _iew

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"10 veri's or less - no condom.

20 veri's or less - wear 1 condom.

30 veri's or less - wear 2 condoms.

Over 50 veri's - wear 3 condoms.

Over 100 veri's - use a femidom and 3 condoms and spray genitals with "fabreeze car - dog scent removal anti bacterial spray".

Over 500 veri's - full HAZ MAT handling suit.

Oh and if there's 100 veri's but 98 are socials..... move on!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I rarely look but if I do and there were volumes of sex meets over a short time line, I would move on.

I am put off my people who seem to live and breath swinging, it's like the oxygen they need.

That for me is off putting.

The same here for me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

Yes but why do people think that lots of verifications equates to 'random faceless passionless fucks' ?

Previous threads criticising those who don't meet every week or fuck in clubs. And comments like "They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site." "

But isn't that what your basically saying when you posted this

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I rarely look but if I do and there were volumes of sex meets over a short time line, I would move on.

I am put off my people who seem to live and breath swinging, it's like the oxygen they need.

That for me is off putting.

The same here for me

And me to be honest

I've had loads of guys asking me to pull a sicky at work so I can meet them

To me that just comes over as crass, like some people really do rearrange their life's to fit a meet in

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people."

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

There is no doubt in our minds that we meet some of the nicest , non judgemental people through fab , and those who wish to judge us for meeting up as often as we do to have sex on a swinging site can do one .

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people."

Well that's something I've often wondered too. For the sexually liberated (which I assume we all are) how many partners is too promiscuous? Surely it's normal to have multiple partners on the swing scene. For those who prefer one partner I would have thought a dating site would cater better for that.

Either way numbers of verifications cannot be an accurate measure for numbers of partners.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

So people who meet regualr with different people are just having random faceless passionless fucks?

Interesting _iew"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

And those who judge me for not meeting very often or for having social meets or not displaying my verifications? Because they do, regularly - I see all the time that people who don't meet often are special snowflakes, timewasters, fakes, not swingers, attention seekers, shouldn't be here. Should they not also do one? Shouldn't it work both ways?

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By *hell and jWoman
over a year ago

Worksop

Proves your genuine and a real swinger xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

Yeah of course it should

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site.

As I've said countless times before, NSA has room for more than just random faceless passionless fucks.

NSA doesn't have to mean a random faceless fuck either

Well said

Of course it doesn't ....

Every meet we have is designed to leave everyone involved feeling special , and we succeed .

The meet and the play are why we swing . No more , no less . Anyone who thinks a meet with lifestyle swingers is without passion and feeling is wrong .

It's all about the passion , eroticism , lust and carnal desire .

I have to agree with most of what you say. We don't normally meet without chatting a bit beforehand, then meet for a drink with a _iew of playing the same night but it isn't on the same level as others do but the horniest most passionate meet was the one we had after putting a meet request up and meeting that person two hours after first talking with him.

I also found that I didn't want repeat meets ( except for one ) as the excitement of the unknown wasn't there as much....but as you say, you can still get the passion , eroticism , lust and carnal desire from meets this way just as much as I am sure people get from meets from doing things their way

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Confucius say, a lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Confucius say, a lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock

And are you one of many keys wanting to open a shitty lock ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yeah, but Confucius was a misogynist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

Totally agree, each to there own etc etc I think what really gets on multiple verified fabbers nerves is that we don't think we are any better than anyone else, yet we have to put up with the "quality not quantity, we have a life outside of fab, I want to feel special" brigade who think they are better than us!!

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By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

"Confucius say, a lock that can be opened by many keys is a shitty lock

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

Ah....swinging snobs

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By *ickeyandmouseCouple
over a year ago

nr Alicante

[Removed by poster at 29/08/16 12:22:26]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

And what really gets on rarely verified fabbers nerves is that we don't think we are better than anyone else, yet we have to put up with the "we're proper swingers, you're just special snowflakes, you're looking for more than NSA, why are you on a swinging site, you don't even meet, you must be fake, what are you hiding" brigade who think they are better than us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And if people on a swing site are that judgemental about numbers, are verifications an accurate way of judging?"
think with all common sense if the person has a lot of sexual meets in a short space of time other than verifications of a social nature then in some minds it begs the question of whether to meet or not this can be are they to experience. For me ! Are the amount of meets in that short a time line safe ect ! We all have different sex drives and needs a.newbie may shock you and old hand with lots of meets may actually not be that experienced a lover ect it's each to our own and it's our own judgement of.the merits of.the meet if this makes sense

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

Nobody has to put up with anything....people that do things differently will always exist. Some think that their way is the only way. Why bother taking any notice?

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By *bsinthe_boyMan
over a year ago

Luton

"They want to feel special,which seems strange to me on a swinging,sex site. "

It's not strange at all. I like to ensure whoever I am with feels special during the time we are together...be it someone I have just met at a club or someone I see regularly for long sessions.

I have most of my veris published, because I feel they show that I am genuine and say a bit about me...they show me through other people's eyes and experiences, whereas my profile is my own words.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

Nobody has to put up with anything....people that do things differently will always exist. Some think that their way is the only way. Why bother taking any notice?"

For the same reason as the multiple verified person whose wording I copied, who you stated your agreement with, has to put up with anything. All of this works both ways. I judge, everyone judges, why pretend you don't?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

And those who judge me for meeting very often or for having social meets or not displaying my verifications? Because they do, regularly - I see all the time that people who don't meet often are special snowflakes, timewasters, fakes, not swingers, attention seekers, shouldn't be here. Should they not also do one? Shouldn't it work both ways?

Nobody has to put up with anything....people that do things differently will always exist. Some think that their way is the only way. Why bother taking any notice?

It was a general question to both sides although i quoted you. I agree it works both ways. I don't think I've pretended i don't judge i just don't care what others think.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

Nobody has to put up with anything....people that do things differently will always exist. Some think that their way is the only way. Why bother taking any notice?

that always gets me aswell

i just think full of shit when i see people onhere talking about not judging anyone

get real

everyone judges. its just different levels of judgement

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

And these 'people who think they are better than' probably don't care they are considered so.

I don't.

Some people just love thinking others are thinking this and that about them, their preferred position is hard done by, on here and in real life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

and by saying 'the I want to feel special brigade' you're automatically judging the way others meet or can't you see that.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And these 'people who think they are better than' probably don't care they are considered so.

I don't.

Some people just love thinking others are thinking this and that about them, their preferred position is hard done by, on here and in real life.

....exactly my point...but put more eloquently. I really don't see why they are so bothered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

We could go back and forth all day, our own personal experience is listed above and our own opinion of those rarely verified is this:- we garner if someone is worth pursuing for a meet based on the evidence in front of us, if unverified, verified but not showing, then we question why and generally move on, simple, but actually we meet lots of rarely verified & newbies, evidenced by our verifications, ahem

see how useful they are?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

see how useful they are? "

So, essentially, you use verifications as part of deciding whether you think you'll be compatible with someone? I don't see the problem in me or anyone else doing exactly the same thing then, and in explaining that process to someone (the OP of the thread) who asked how/why people take them into account. You're criticising someone for doing exactly what you do yourselves.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

see how useful they are?

Lol twisting our words, we don't decide to meet or not meet someone based on how MANY verifications they have! Clearly if you looked at our verifications you would see that

and we refer you to the answer we gave previously, so no need to repeat ourselves, just read back, so the question that needs to be asked is thus:- why would you not meet someone with loads of verifications? After all we are going to show up, in our experience those with little verifications or hidden are very difficult to pin down to a meet, Note: IN OUR EXPERIENCE

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

All I was really asking was why do some regard multiple verications as a representation of numbers of sexual partners ? I don't think people who display their veris look down on those who don't display their veris and vise versa. I'm certainly not looking down on anyone or thinking I'm better than anyone, or accusing anyone of thinking they're better than me.

I'm just genuinely curious as to why it would be assumed that our multiple verifications mean that we have many meets, or the way we play is anonymous, or that we don't treat our partners as though they are special, or that we don't have regular partners. Because all that is untrue.

Its true it doesn't matter, but I'm ever interested in what makes people tick, and come up with the conclusions they do.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Does the OP ever read the verifications or does he just count them?

))))

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

and by saying 'the I want to feel special brigade' you're automatically judging the way others meet or can't you see that.....

Mmmm no this I quoted from a thread and seen on other threads and profiles, we don't judge, evidenced by our verifications

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 29/08/16 13:11:06]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Does the OP ever read the verifications or does he just count them?

))))"

No we don't count verifications, as numbers of verifications is not relevant to us. Yes we do read verifications if we are interested in someone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

Most won't judge you, but many would not pursue you as they would wonder why your verifications are hidden, that's not a judgement on you, it's simply a matter of deciding if the pursuit is worth the effort and based on the evidence on the profile put in front of us, it's not based on how many verifications you have after all you've only been here 3 weeks! And before you start we are not making a judgement on you being here only 3 weeks!!!

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By *aeriequeenWoman
over a year ago

Manchester

Im not bothered if people are put off by me not showing them..though if they ask I might. I have loads of social veris which are very nice too.

Im not fond of people meeting all those on my veris and vice versa. I like to keep it quiet and go about my business.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"All I was really asking was why do some regard multiple verications as a representation of numbers of sexual partners ? I don't think people who display their veris look down on those who don't display their veris and vise versa. I'm certainly not looking down on anyone or thinking I'm better than anyone, or accusing anyone of thinking they're better than me.

Its true it doesn't matter, but I'm ever interested in what makes people tick, and come up with the conclusions they do."

Just assumptions I guess. Faced with hundreds of profiles people need to make decisions on who they want to meet.

But... people seem to assume that if someone doesn't want to meet someone with lots of verifications, that they are looking down on them.

Perhaps they are just intimidated and don't have much experience. Someone that has a lot of verifications and lots of experience would surely want to meet someone with the same level of experience...? Would they want to meet little me who's only ever had sex with the lights off..........?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love your profile

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Im not bothered if people are put off by me not showing them..though if they ask I might. I have loads of social veris which are very nice too.

Im not fond of people meeting all those on my veris and vice versa. I like to keep it quiet and go about my business."

I won't show mine either as I've had a bunny boiler stalk me from reading a veri trail and another male much the same thing (when I was previously on here)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And these 'people who think they are better than' probably don't care they are considered so.

I don't.

Some people just love thinking others are thinking this and that about them, their preferred position is hard done by, on here and in real life.

Yep when we first started using the forums we got ourselves in a twist. We were worried about how others perceived us, our style of swinging, both being bi, verifications etc. Feeling hard done by as you say.

But we've had something of an epiphany and come out the other side of that angst and stopped giving a shit. Feeling better for it and the swinging is going our way a bit more lately.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its true it doesn't matter, but I'm ever interested in what makes people tick, and come up with the conclusions they do.

Just assumptions I guess. Faced with hundreds of profiles people need to make decisions on who they want to meet.

But... people seem to assume that if someone doesn't want to meet someone with lots of verifications, that they are looking down on them.

We meet people of similar experience, more experience, less experience, no experience, in fact the amount of verifications has no bearing on who we meet as the amount of verifications has no bearing on whether we hit it off with the people and we all have fun and that is the whole point of the argument.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

Exactly this

When we see a profile that harks on about quality over quantity we just switch off . What on earth makes them write this ? Do they believe this makes them special ? All it does is make us think they must think they are all that , so us mere mortals who like a quantity of quality would be incompatible .

Swinging for us is an opportunity to have lots of fun with lots of people , without being judged for what we enjoy .

By all means use the site for whatever you like , but don't put yourself on a pedestal by claiming you are better than anyone else , because quite simply you're not !

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"And these 'people who think they are better than' probably don't care they are considered so.

I don't.

Some people just love thinking others are thinking this and that about them, their preferred position is hard done by, on here and in real life.

But we've had something of an epiphany and come out the other side of that angst and stopped giving a shit. Feeling better for it and the swinging is going our way a bit more lately. "

That's good to read

Continue to have a blast

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By *omerset ciderMan
over a year ago

broxbourne

"Because I want to meet someone who wants to meet me not just anyone.

Difficult for me to feel wanted as an individual if I'm just to be the latest random.

yep, same here "

And me .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

Exactly this

Swinging for us is an opportunity to have lots of fun with lots of people , without being judged for what we enjoy .

By all means use the site for whatever you like , but don't put yourself on a pedestal by claiming you are better than anyone else , because quite simply you're not !

Well said.

We are here to have fun not massage people's ego's!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What I don't understand is the many people saying that their veri's are not all sex meets so don't judge them ( not just on this thread it has been said )

I say, we are on a swinging site where people look for sex with others so if they were all sex meets what does it matter? You are all enjoying yourself doing what you joined the site for.

Reading between the lines ( I could be totally wrong of course ) but it seems that there is still a stigma of people having sex with many people.

There certainly is , and on the few occasions that we have said we only have veris from sex meets , we do get a bit of abuse .

As time goes by we get less bothered by this , and now don't really care . So much so we have decided to show our summary and to hell with the haters !

Do people really say that to you?

Who the hell cares who other people meet

You must have way to much time in your hands to go through peoples profiles and giving enough shits to send such messages

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