FabSwingers.com forum: Are you sick of single blokes moaning on the forum?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Been on the site at various times over the years but keep coming back as I've met some great people and always have a laugh with others that may be too far away to meet!

I still love coming on the forum but it seems now to be full of single guys moaning about nobody willing to meet them! Out of curiosity I've checked a few of their profiles and they all have no pic's or verifications and certainly ain't photo verified so what do they expect!

Oh and for any of you that the above applies too and who may read this txt speak will get you nowhere I'm sure and also as the brain is the biggest sex organ in the body (even if you think you are hung like a grand national winner) and even more so for women try being imaginative and perhaps dare I say articulate and see if that helps.

Anyway rant over and just wondering what others thoughts were on this?

fablad80 xxx

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

Yes.

But I do try and help educate them if they show some promise... been a few this week though

Ho-hum.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I understand that some people just are not sure of the best way to approach people and all the time in the world formpeople like that as they're just trying to improve their chances which in turn helps make the site better for others too

It's the ones that make no effort and still moan about it that bug me lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the ones that make no effort and still moan about it that bug me lol"

Aren't you moaning about people moaning?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's the ones that make no effort and still moan about it that bug me lol

Aren't you moaning about people moaning?

the thread is about single guys moaning, and as stated above, you are indeed, moaning lol i know what you mean though...it's just the title and content is ironic

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By (user no longer on site)
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Im sick of people starting moaning threads to moan about the people that start moaning threads

Everyone stop bloody moaning!!! unless of course its passionate moaning,thats allowed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Bored of everyone moaning.

Single blookes who cannot get a fuck/meet.

Women who moan about people who don't read profiles/timeswasters etc

*yawn*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and again....everyones moaning hahaha on a positive note, when u get a decent meet....it's bloody great

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Logically if the single men the OP is referring to took note of his advice they would:

Get verified

upload some decent pix

stop moaning

If it was me I wouldn't be giving that sort of advice to the 'competition'...cos that's what they are..

I'd keep shtum

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By *icboyMan
over a year ago

Glasgow

moan about something constructive.

Like this building site is a bloody mess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone likes a good moan, it’s the ones that only come in the forums to moan then bugger off never to be seen unless they want another moan that you get sick of

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Logically if the single men the OP is referring to took note of his advice they would:

Get verified

upload some decent pix

stop moaning

If it was me I wouldn't be giving that sort of advice to the 'competition'...cos that's what they are..

I'd keep shtum"

Good advice lol and it seem like I was moaning but it was intended more as an observation than anything lol

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By *unky monkeyMan
over a year ago

in the night garden

I'll never tire of them.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Logically if the single men the OP is referring to took note of his advice they would:

Get verified

upload some decent pix

stop moaning

If it was me I wouldn't be giving that sort of advice to the 'competition'...cos that's what they are..

I'd keep shtum"

Good advice lol and it seem like I was moaning but it was intended more as an observation than anything lol

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Logically if the single men the OP is referring to took note of his advice they would:

Get verified

upload some decent pix

stop moaning

If it was me I wouldn't be giving that sort of advice to the 'competition'...cos that's what they are..

I'd keep shtum"

Good advice lol and it seem like I was moaning but it was intended more as an observation than anything lol

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Logically if the single men the OP is referring to took note of his advice they would:

Get verified

upload some decent pix

stop moaning

If it was me I wouldn't be giving that sort of advice to the 'competition'...cos that's what they are..

I'd keep shtum

Good advice lol and it seem like I was moaning but it was intended more as an observation than anything lol"

I am guessing the people you are talking about could say theirs is just an obvservation too

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By *andy muncherMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"Im sick of people starting moaning threads to moan about the people that start moaning threads

Everyone stop bloody moaning!!! unless of course its passionate moaning,thats allowed

just give them somewhere on the forums to go moan not here then they can moan to each other and discuss where there going wrong and im sure i know some one who could give them some advice

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is there a button stuck somewhere?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Actually I feel like a little moan:

During one of my recent club visits I found myself in an unusual situation. On paying my entrance fee, with the usual exchange of pleasantries with the staff on reception, and before walking into the main building, a mood came over me in an instant.

After feeling excited throughout the day about my evening plans, I suddenly had no desire to have sex, with anyone, or remain amongst the other swingers mingling within, I simply wanted to go home.

Knowing that a refund was not possible, then weighing up the time travel cost, and the personal inconvenience of immediately turning back, and trudging the two hour return trip home, I tried shrugging this feeling off. I continued on into the play areas hoping my mood would change on seeing some action. Wandering from room to hideaway and nook, feeling awkward seeking sexual inspiration, I stumbled upon a foursome, three men fully clothed with a lingerie clad female between them on the usual wipeable bland synthetic covered mattress.

I positioned myself carefully alongside the other onlookers, joined them and silently watched as each playing male randomly began taking advantage of any body part that became momentarily free on this attractive, willing, curvy brunette. Hands and fingers from all four were soon sliding, gripping and pinching whilst simultaneously searching beneath underwear. Small feminine fingers slowly entered unzipped trousers, freeing each individual swelling cock, while in way of returning their obvious delight, larger thicker fingers roughly forced smooth flesh from beneath her silky bra and knickers. One of these males, with an air of experience, impulsively clawed his fingers tightly together running their tips along her knicker filling plump pussy, following her damp mounds shape until coming to rest upon their edge, his hand cupping her moistness entirely, before in one practised movement he flipped the knickers edge onto his now damp finger tips before exposing in one easy motion her wet neat tidy lips, her arousal, unlike my own, was glisteningly clear.

As I stood gazing, watching these males each selfishly busy attending to this woman, I sensed movement from behind. I resisted looking back and continued observing as things were now becoming more serious. The previously teasing fingers that had exposed this curvy brunettes tight wet pussy were now showing signs of entering her, two of his meaty fingers pressed against each of her wet pussy lips as the middle finger flickered between them, her panties now held away by his thumb. What was he waiting for I thought, fill her, it was obvious she was ready judging by her gentle murmurs and her freely running juices.

His timing was perfect, as she laid flat accepting all the attention lavished onto her now dishevelled arching naked body. One of the males rose from caressing her nipple, leaving the third male to both. He took her head in his hand, gripped his throbbing erect cock and pushed its swollen head towards her mouth. Her lips parted instantly as her head was raised and greedily took half his large cock into her mouth before her lips closed with delight in her eyes, her cheeks and chin displayed how hard she had began sucking. It was at this exact moment the thick finger that previously toyed with her exposed dampness thrust deep between her thrusting hips into her juicy pussy, his thrusting fingers stayed in time with her filthy mouthed cock sucking motions. The only change in tempo being the hardness and number of fingers that had filled her pussy. With every backwards head movement her now taut lips dragged along her mouth filling cocks shaft. As her mouth returned on its cock smothering journey, this man roughly slammed his finger or fingers into her soaking hole, at one point I was certain he had forced all four of his fingers deep within her, my uncertainty was caused as the brunette had, at that moment, looked me directly in the eyes and gasped in pleasure, so I couldn‘t be sure. She had removed the fat cock from her mouth and looked directly at me, as we stared at each other her tiny outstretched hand began squeezing hard onto the cock she had sucked on so greedily stopping him shooting his full load down her throat. As she did this, holding my approving look, she smiled revealing the white spunk that now washed over her sticky smeared lips.

The other male in this group, on finding both breasts and nipples free, made full use of both his hands adding the occasional erect nipple into his inexperienced mouth. As his eyes darted from one end to the other of this whore, he saw he was giving attention, the others were receiving it. He wanted his cock sucked or her pussy to finger with, he looked lost in the gang. He was slowly being out manoeuvred he just didn‘t realise it, and on seeing the worry on his face, he was concerned that cum was likely to be spraying him soon, however this little slut had been in this position many times and had skilfully avoided spunk being spilled anywhere other then into her hand, pussy or mouth. She knew males being touched by other men’s spunk could end play. It was at that moment I was convinced four fingers had just left her dripping gaping cunt.

Once again, as I stood there wondering I became aware of movement from behind and my own obvious lack of arousal, my cock was tingling but in the past on watching others fucking, my cock would be hidden but always semi hard, in fact with experience I knew it should also be trickling with precum. As I worried my attention was once again drawn forward, the males were pulling the smiling brunette onto all fours. She didn’t resist, she happily twisted her body into position knowing she would soon be feeling the cocks of these males. As she lifted her head she saw two erect cocks to choose from, one un-sucked the other she recognised by its size. It was at this moment that I felt a clear push from behind, not an impatient shove that other males give you that felt they were being crowded out, so I didn’t let it overly bother me. As I refocused back onto the group the whore waiting for her roasting wiggled her arse playfully before once again sucking on the larger of the two hard cocks before her.

These two men were friends I thought, they both entered her at the exact same moment, one firmly gripping her arse cheeks the other her shoulders, both thrusting into her in unison. By holding onto her shoulders the slower of the males now found himself alongside the dirty brunette watching the ripples of her arse as she was pussy fucked from behind while her head jerked between two securing arms at the opposite end, he was now an onlooker, like us all, he just had the best seat in the house.

I remember thinking, you silly man you let your turn be stolen, waiting for this female to take your cock into her mouth was a big mistake, you should have pulled her head onto you and taken what you wanted, not watched as her shoulders were restrained. You may as well leave the bed now as you were done.

The usual, and what had tonight become for me repetitive, hard fucking began. These two men were now swapping her between them pausing only to change ends. As they spun her each either removed a condom or hastily stretched their rubber over the end of their cock, it enlarged with ease due to the brunettes saliva and pussy juices that was clinging along each of their cocks. As they used her her delight was plain to hear she was now, for these men, no more than two and possibly three holes to fuck. Whether they took her anally I never would know as I was halfway along the building heading towards the exit. As her moans grew louder I suspect that the louder of these moans may have been caused by her arse being suddenly stretched, besides I thought, she looked the type to take it up the arse, she had a filthy look about her.

As I walked troubled back through the club heading for the main building wondering what was wrong with me tonight, I found myself sympathising with the out flanked male knelt watching the curvy brunette being abused. He must be feeling stupid kneeling beside the threesome taking place, I wondered whether he wished he could be walking alongside me towards the exit or whether he was happy waiting patiently for his turn. Idiot I thought and continued on. Irritably as I walked past random people, I decided I would have one drink and then go home.

My pace quickened as I approached the wet area, the jacuzzis were bound to have people playing amongst the water jet created bubbles. As I turned the corner their telltale giggles and deeper laughter with the odd shriek confirmed this, these people had always given me cause for concern, the water must be saturated with bodily fluids from themselves and people long-since gone. I in the past always avoided those with wet hair, tonight I didn’t even want to acknowledge their ill placed carefree existence.

The sooner I leave this place the better I thought, barely noticing the single footfalls clipping against the hard flooring underfoot, the sooner I was home the better. The bar area was as I remembered, grubby at best, the bar no doubt sticky, in fact this whole club had a sticky residue. If I was honest with myself I was never really happy touching any surface in this club. It was then that I saw the cold drinks machine sat against the wall beside the dimly lit fire exit, one tin and I was leaving..

Would you believe after all that, the Coke was fucking flat - I left without a word!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Right

where were we. Oh yeah.. I'd prefer if single men would moan on top of me... or underneath... or.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bored of everyone moaning.

Single blookes who cannot get a fuck/meet.

Women who moan about people who don't read profiles/timeswasters etc

*yawn*"

For that here is a big one from me

*yaawwwwwwwnnnnn*

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

crackattack...that was funny as hell! very descriptive...i assume u didnt write that? lol must admit....that piece of writing had me having feelings of needing to attend a swinging club right now

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By *lscmnmytngMan
over a year ago

J13 of the M5

Oops I wondered into the stories and fantasies thread by mistake

Give him his credit it was an original and very funny post and quite naughty too.

I just keep my mouth shut, content I have found a wonderful woman to go to Chameleons with and smile knowing tomorrow will be my 20th visit.

Single guys moaning? Not this one!!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

No...... Actually I'm an equal opportunity hater of everyone that moans... Be that men women and couples..

A moan is a moan and a whinge is a whinge regardless of whoever is doing it!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I couldn't give a toss who posts what in the fourms and why

And I really don't understand anyone who does

If you don't want ta read em then don't simples xx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

" Are you sick of single blokes moaning on the forum? "

Nope.

Moaning people help to remind me just how good my life is

And I enjoy mocking.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Most people likes a good moan sometimes.

What i don't like is if ppl get their knickers in a twit when people have taken the time to respond,accept that others may disagree is the first rule of asking for advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most people likes a good moan sometimes.

What i don't like is if ppl get their knickers in a twit when people have taken the time to respond,accept that others may disagree is the first rule of asking for advice."

Ive often left my knickers with a twit....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

LOL I prefer to meet lighthearted people, instead of those who moan.

But crackattack's moan about the flat Pepsi is the funniest thing I've read today! Respect!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"LOL I prefer to meet lighthearted people, instead of those who moan.

But crackattack's moan about the flat Pepsi is the funniest thing I've read today! Respect!"

"Other soft drinks are available"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Most people likes a good moan sometimes.

What i don't like is if ppl get their knickers in a twit when people have taken the time to respond,accept that others may disagree is the first rule of asking for advice.

Ive often left my knickers with a twit....

I've left em in a few twits

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I couldn't give a toss who posts what in the fourms and why

And I really don't understand anyone who does

If you don't want ta read em then don't simples xx

moan moan moan moan moan.... lighten up my favourite bath dweller

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston

sick of every fecker moaning, whether they be male, female or couples.

lighten up, this is supposed to be a bit of fun to spice up the the humdrum of everyday life!!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

surely if there weren't any moaning threads, the forum would be a lot quieter lol...and maybe it's the only way i can get a women to maon lol so nerrrrr x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No, I like it. It's like an automatic filter - I know which whiney bitches not to meet!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol...hmmmm, surely if you were judged on the freedom to express your views, that wouldn't be a true indicator of what type of person you are would it? (wow...that almost sounded like i knew what i was talking about)

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

The one's I do hate are the one liners that say 'fancy chatting?' - Sheesh what do they expect me to say to that???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The one's I do hate are the one liners that say 'fancy chatting?' - Sheesh what do they expect me to say to that???

ummmmm, maybe a yes or no lol i do sympathise with some guys/ girls on here though who put lots of effort into some messages just to be told "no thanks". it must be demoralising for them....luckily all the declines i receieve, my brain capacity can't store more than 2 pieces of info at a time...therefore i only remember 2 "get lost"'s at a time lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"The one's I do hate are the one liners that say 'fancy chatting?' - Sheesh what do they expect me to say to that???

Yep. It's like the ones who email asking if they can ask you a question - it's like having a middle man, just get on and ask!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep. It's like the ones who email asking if they can ask you a question - it's like having a middle man, just get on and ask! "

ummmmm, can i ask you something?

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"Yep. It's like the ones who email asking if they can ask you a question - it's like having a middle man, just get on and ask!

ummmmm, can i ask you something?

Can I answer just yes or no???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep. It's like the ones who email asking if they can ask you a question - it's like having a middle man, just get on and ask!

ummmmm, can i ask you something?

Spit it out man!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep. It's like the ones who email asking if they can ask you a question - it's like having a middle man, just get on and ask!

ummmmm, can i ask you something?

Can I answer just yes or no???

I've done that in the past, yes is usually followed by a dumb question in my experience

So is no...

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By *entadreadMan
over a year ago

Essex

"Actually I feel like a little moan:

After feeling excited throughout the day about my evening plans, I suddenly had no desire to have sex, with anyone, or remain amongst the other swingers mingling within, I simply wanted to go home.

Would you believe after all that, the Coke was fucking flat - I left without a word!

Are you a Victor by any chance? Very funny mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lol....ummmm, well i've got a confession....that was just a joke that wasn't actually that funny (in hindsight) lol but now that ur expecting a question...here goes....how come there are far more funnier and better looking women outside of cornwall than inside? (any imbred jokes will be ignored!) x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yep. It's like the ones who email asking if they can ask you a question - it's like having a middle man, just get on and ask!

ummmmm, can i ask you something?

Can I answer just yes or no???

I've done that in the past, yes is usually followed by a dumb question in my experience

So is no..."

damn....it was a dumb question....u are sooo clever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"lol....ummmm, well i've got a confession....that was just a joke that wasn't actually that funny (in hindsight) lol but now that ur expecting a question...here goes....how come there are far more funnier and better looking women outside of cornwall than inside? (any imbred jokes will be ignored!) x

No I really wasn't expecting a question at all - I knew it was a joke but I'm impressed you managed to find something better than "had much fun here then?"

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

No I really wasn't expecting a question at all - I knew it was a joke but I'm impressed you managed to find something better than "had much fun here then?"

Forgot about that one!!! God is there a list of questions to ask hidden somewhere I don't know about???

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No I really wasn't expecting a question at all - I knew it was a joke but I'm impressed you managed to find something better than "had much fun here then?"

Forgot about that one!!! God is there a list of questions to ask hidden somewhere I don't know about???

ya see....thats why we ask dumb questions...because you females don't bloody answer the different and well thought out ones lol 2 replies yet no answer!!! pffffft, you lot are hard work

ok....how about...why is it that the only planet capable of sustaining our life forms, we deem necassary to destroy? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I really wasn't expecting a question at all - I knew it was a joke but I'm impressed you managed to find something better than "had much fun here then?"

Forgot about that one!!! God is there a list of questions to ask hidden somewhere I don't know about???

I think it's passed out to new single males on joining and some of them think it's a template for all their messages

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

ya see....thats why we ask dumb questions...because you females don't bloody answer the different and well thought out ones lol 2 replies yet no answer!!! pffffft, you lot are hard work

ok....how about...why is it that the only planet capable of sustaining our life forms, we deem necassary to destroy? x

There aren't, you're just not looking hard enough....

Because we never want what's good for us...

How's that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What does annoy me are people who are incredulous that with their "stunning good looks", "incredible wit and savour faire", "gym honed and toned bodies - with Apollo's Belt" that the Ooompah Loompah's with their head's stuck firmly up their own massive arses are turning them down!

I do laugh when they turn petulant: well I laugh between bites of my Gregg' steak bake!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I really wasn't expecting a question at all - I knew it was a joke but I'm impressed you managed to find something better than "had much fun here then?"

Forgot about that one!!! God is there a list of questions to ask hidden somewhere I don't know about???

I think it's passed out to new single males on joining and some of them think it's a template for all their messages

lol...that aint pigeon holing us at all is it! ok, u may be right to a certain extent, but some of us do actually have brains in other parts of our bodies other than between our legs

we can be capable of creating conversation other than "hi, how are u finding this site?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No I really wasn't expecting a question at all - I knew it was a joke but I'm impressed you managed to find something better than "had much fun here then?"

Forgot about that one!!! God is there a list of questions to ask hidden somewhere I don't know about???

I think it's passed out to new single males on joining and some of them think it's a template for all their messages

lol...that aint pigeon holing us at all is it! ok, u may be right to a certain extent, but some of us do actually have brains in other parts of our bodies other than between our legs

we can be capable of creating conversation other than "hi, how are u finding this site?"

That's why I said "some of them"

I love the idiots cos they make it that much easier to spot the good guys...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What does annoy me are people who are incredulous that with their "stunning good looks", "incredible wit and savour faire", "gym honed and toned bodies - with Apollo's Belt" that the Ooompah Loompah's with their head's stuck firmly up their own massive arses are turning them down!

I do laugh when they turn petulant: well I laugh between bites of my Gregg' steak bake!

ummmm, not quite sure what to reply to this one

i'm sure that most people on here don't get annoyed just because they get turned down. again, i think that may be a misconception brought about by one or two examples

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

hang on....where the hell is all my back up from the guys! i'm being ganged up on by females....in other circumstances i might have enjoyed it lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hang on....where the hell is all my back up from the guys! i'm being ganged up on by females....in other circumstances i might have enjoyed it lol

Heyyyyyy! I answered your questions and said nice things about men! What more do you want, pffft

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"hang on....where the hell is all my back up from the guys! i'm being ganged up on by females....in other circumstances i might have enjoyed it lol

Heyyyyyy! I answered your questions and said nice things about men! What more do you want, pffft

oops, my bad

sowwy x x x x x x x x x x x x

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

"hang on....where the hell is all my back up from the guys! i'm being ganged up on by females....in other circumstances i might have enjoyed it lol

Heyyyyyy! I answered your questions and said nice things about men! What more do you want, pffft

oops, my bad

sowwy x x x x x x x x x x x x"

Hey it's giving you practice lol - what are you complaining about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" Hey it's giving you practice lol - what are you complaining about

haha, practice....i'm more of a kinaesthetic learner (doing) rather than seeing or hearing! why....is anyone offering to teach the student?

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By *oxy_minxWoman
over a year ago

Scotland - Aberdeen

" Hey it's giving you practice lol - what are you complaining about

haha, practice....i'm more of a kinaesthetic learner (doing) rather than seeing or hearing! why....is anyone offering to teach the student?

If you weren't so far awayIi'd teach ya lol - just don't tell any one else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"crackattack...that was funny as hell! very descriptive...i assume u didnt write that? lol must admit....that piece of writing had me having feelings of needing to attend a swinging club right now

No Koda my above words were sent to me in a vision, a vision that gave me food for thought, again:

Is there a God of sex ?

Not cupids/aphrodites love and passion. SEX.

A quick visit to God Google presented an answer of sorts, NO, indicating the situation was vacant. Wikiwonder I mysteriously thought. Unsurprisingly Wiki offered suggestions for me to wonder at but on the whole, again, the clear answer, well eventually was possibly, after consideration of all things, equal to Google, NO.

Allowing myself a further seven minutes search time I found that that satisfied my desire, being, offering you the worshipers of sex in all it’s forms, a figurehead for your approval.

SATURNALIA .

Saturnalia seemed appropriate as its beginnings as a sexual festival combined with the given name, for me was apt, for these reasons:

Saturnalia welcomed all cultures, nationalities sexualities, hecklers, perversions, sizes and also loved toys. Okay these toys were usually sticks and stones but they lacked education so we will forgive them.

Saturnalia also persecuted selectively, unfortunately it wasn’t bare backers, this we will never forgive - let he that casts the first condom be given marshmallow teeth, jelly tots for lips and left in a sticky mess for eternity.

It may also surprise you fellow fantasists that Saturnalia has been known or worshiped for centuries by you all - it’s beginnings being a period of lawless celebration now known as Christmas - Go Google.

Commandments I thought, 10 of, hmmm maybe?

We need rules, every successful group has rules. Commandments I thought, nah that’s been done. We will be honest and different, we are having whimpers and hundreds of them. Let it be said that behind every whimper there lurks an arsehole, search it search it thoroughly Saturnalia compels you.

Beware fake Whimpers:

All ye shitters, pissers and spitters will at all times remain downwind!

Squirters, squinters, sputterer’s, gushers and lispers, will leave any confined spaces in COMPLETE silence.

Hardly entering the spirit of things eh, I hope you agree

Burning bushes! This was going to be a problem. Now barren mounds we can do, but where are we going to find a bush, burning or otherwise that we will find acceptable or did not already have 10” of anything buried deep within it, so I’m going with a burning arsehole cos it’s funny - I can see many hordes of hairy arseholes avoiding 10 suggestions let alone whimpers aka commands. So they just might be available for our flaming fucking miracle, however absurd.

We now have a quest:

No matter how unpleasant, as with the holy grail I beseech you, seek out this knowledgeable arsehole with the hundred whimpers of wisdom etched upon their righteous anus, there will be many pretenders but have faith there can be only one, after all - Saturnalia will act in perverse ways

Disciples we need disciples, Prophets too, the word must be spread, its benefits bestowed, our practises detailed. They need strengths, traits and qualities that are easily recognised, unquestionable oral skills for maximising potential growth, you know Bbw’s..

Philosophers, do we need mental people? Well I guess, yes, so we will allow them - supervised closely!

After all there be fake arseholes amongst their ranks - praise be the arseholes.

From this day forward all gruffs, puffs, farts and bottom burps will be seen as the direct words of god, speak them freely and loudly cast out those found wanting, resist nose following, it’s a dirty business - well there’s always a bum joke eh, so I forgive myself for being an arsehole.

Women will adopt the usual position for prayer with the exception of they will immediately and before kneeling with hands clasped tightly and serenely, drop their panties then loudly praise our phallic icon in the hope our lord will cometh and enter you - the lucky bastard - BTW jealously is forbidden.

Virgin Mary I thought, don’t be fucking ridiculous, people will laugh at us and left it at that.

Whimper away

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you know that Saturnalia is an anagram of Australian.

Useless piece of trivia!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Been on the site at various times over the years but keep coming back as I've met some great people and always have a laugh with others that may be too far away to meet!

Anyway rant over and just wondering what others thoughts were on this?

fablad80 xxx"
i dont know which i find the most tedious, the rants off single guys or the rants off the ones who rant about the rants off single guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im sick of people starting threads and then leaving the site.

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