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Illness

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

If you and your partner enjoyed clubs and soft swing and then they suddenly became ill whereby they could barely get around any more without your help let alone even manage vanilla sex, how do you think you would cope with it?

Would it end the relationship? Would you stay and look after them? Would you feel guilty for wanting to look elsewhere?

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't know how I'd cope but I'd definitely stay. I hope that we could discuss it and work out a compromise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thanks. I guess it's not an easy question, especially for couples on here to answer.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Thanks. I guess it's not an easy question, especially for couples on here to answer."

I suppose none of us know how we'd react until it happened to us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Staying in the relationship is one thing....swinging without them is something completely different.....I would hate to think if someone loved me they would pick swinging over me....pretty fuckin shite in my eyes x

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By *5happycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Tooting / dept 23 France

To us, the swinging has always been the cherry on the top, we as a couple are what is important here. Having said that, I know that both of us would understand if sexual urges arose and needed dealing with, so it might become an option to meet outside of the relationship as long as both were happy with that. If the person who is ill can't cope with that then it would be the end of swinging for both of us. What is more important, the person you share your life with or a shag?

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By *eliciousladyWoman
over a year ago

Sometimes U.K


"

I suppose none of us know how we'd react until it happened to us."

My thought exactly

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Staying in the relationship is one thing....swinging without them is something completely different.....I would hate to think if someone loved me they would pick swinging over me....pretty fuckin shite in my eyes x"

I didn't mean to continue swinging without them, I just meant coping with life including sex life, basically if you were previously sexually active and suddenly had to become celibate.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Staying in the relationship is one thing....swinging without them is something completely different.....I would hate to think if someone loved me they would pick swinging over me....pretty fuckin shite in my eyes x

I didn't mean to continue swinging without them, I just meant coping with life including sex life, basically if you were previously sexually active and suddenly had to become celibate."

I think that would be very difficult to adapt to.

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By *5happycoupleCouple
over a year ago

Tooting / dept 23 France

Having said that, when a relationship changes from partners to carer and ill person, it takes a lot to adjust. There are agencies who can help and support you through this. Your GP would be the first port of call.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Staying in the relationship is one thing....swinging without them is something completely different.....I would hate to think if someone loved me they would pick swinging over me....pretty fuckin shite in my eyes x

I didn't mean to continue swinging without them, I just meant coping with life including sex life, basically if you were previously sexually active and suddenly had to become celibate."

It wouldn't bother me having to be celibate. There are always battery operated options. I would stay though and wouldn't think twice about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Staying in the relationship is one thing....swinging without them is something completely different.....I would hate to think if someone loved me they would pick swinging over me....pretty fuckin shite in my eyes x

I didn't mean to continue swinging without them, I just meant coping with life including sex life, basically if you were previously sexually active and suddenly had to become celibate.

It wouldn't bother me having to be celibate. There are always battery operated options. I would stay though and wouldn't think twice about it."

Maybe but after years of pushing someone around in a wheelchair watching them slowly decline, you tend to miss the emotional and excitement connection....

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Staying in the relationship is one thing....swinging without them is something completely different.....I would hate to think if someone loved me they would pick swinging over me....pretty fuckin shite in my eyes x

I didn't mean to continue swinging without them, I just meant coping with life including sex life, basically if you were previously sexually active and suddenly had to become celibate.

It wouldn't bother me having to be celibate. There are always battery operated options. I would stay though and wouldn't think twice about it.

Maybe but after years of pushing someone around in a wheelchair watching them slowly decline, you tend to miss the emotional and excitement connection.... "

is this personal to you?

It must be very difficult when a relationship changes so drastically due to no fault of either partner. none of us go into a romantic relationship expecting it to become celibate or that of carer and cared for.

I can't help I'm afraid, just sympathise.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Staying in the relationship is one thing....swinging without them is something completely different.....I would hate to think if someone loved me they would pick swinging over me....pretty fuckin shite in my eyes x

I didn't mean to continue swinging without them, I just meant coping with life including sex life, basically if you were previously sexually active and suddenly had to become celibate.

It wouldn't bother me having to be celibate. There are always battery operated options. I would stay though and wouldn't think twice about it.

Maybe but after years of pushing someone around in a wheelchair watching them slowly decline, you tend to miss the emotional and excitement connection....

is this personal to you?

It must be very difficult when a relationship changes so drastically due to no fault of either partner. none of us go into a romantic relationship expecting it to become celibate or that of carer and cared for.

I can't help I'm afraid, just sympathise."

Yeah, I'm having a particularly low day, just wondered what other people thought. Ask me 7 years ago and I would have said stayed but some days it's really hard.

Thanks for responding at least

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex


"Staying in the relationship is one thing....swinging without them is something completely different.....I would hate to think if someone loved me they would pick swinging over me....pretty fuckin shite in my eyes x

I didn't mean to continue swinging without them, I just meant coping with life including sex life, basically if you were previously sexually active and suddenly had to become celibate.

It wouldn't bother me having to be celibate. There are always battery operated options. I would stay though and wouldn't think twice about it.

Maybe but after years of pushing someone around in a wheelchair watching them slowly decline, you tend to miss the emotional and excitement connection....

is this personal to you?

It must be very difficult when a relationship changes so drastically due to no fault of either partner. none of us go into a romantic relationship expecting it to become celibate or that of carer and cared for.

I can't help I'm afraid, just sympathise.

Yeah, I'm having a particularly low day, just wondered what other people thought. Ask me 7 years ago and I would have said stayed but some days it's really hard.

Thanks for responding at least "

I imagine its very tough.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh wow,,id like to think id stay n look after them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Staying in the relationship is one thing....swinging without them is something completely different.....I would hate to think if someone loved me they would pick swinging over me....pretty fuckin shite in my eyes x

I didn't mean to continue swinging without them, I just meant coping with life including sex life, basically if you were previously sexually active and suddenly had to become celibate.

It wouldn't bother me having to be celibate. There are always battery operated options. I would stay though and wouldn't think twice about it.

Maybe but after years of pushing someone around in a wheelchair watching them slowly decline, you tend to miss the emotional and excitement connection.... "

I get what u are saying and yes it would put a strain on things and I rate you for doing it.

With me I'm a carer for my parents and it's just second nature for me now to put my needs second. I get told off for it a lot of the time but it's just what I do. So I guess no matter how difficult it gets I won't be leaving.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

cant imagine how tough that is

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By *uv2bseenCouple
over a year ago

Midlands


"If you and your partner enjoyed clubs and soft swing and then they suddenly became ill whereby they could barely get around any more without your help let alone even manage vanilla sex, how do you think you would cope with it?

Would it end the relationship? Would you stay and look after them? Would you feel guilty for wanting to look elsewhere?"

You need to remember that swinging without your partner's knowledge or consent is not swinging.

It is simply cheating.

Is that fair?

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By *uv2bseenCouple
over a year ago

Midlands

And that isn't being judgemental by the way!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"And that isn't being judgemental by the way!"

It's fair comment, someone earlier said the same and I replied that's not really what I meant.

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