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Swinging or cheating?

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By *poolnerveycouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

My bf said to me that he is having urges to sleep with other girls, he then suggested swinging together instead, is this the right reason for swinging? Any advice and thanks in advance x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well how do you feel about it?

If you feel comfortable seeing him with other women then i would say go for it. If not then i would tell him so. Is he wanting to sleep with these women on his own or with you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if your only doing it to stop him cheating then stop... it does not work and it will make you feel crap..

If your doing it as you kinda fancy the whole idea... then go for it.

Cheating isn't swinging or shouldn't be.... but if someone wants to cheat they will still do so even in this lifestyle

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By *poolnerveycouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

liverpool

Yes infront of me, he wants to see me with other guys too, we have met a couple so far. Im excited by it all, can't deny that but maybe 22 too young, but would rather my bf came to me about this rather than cheating behind my back, not really sure how I'd feel seeing j with another girl, can hurt when I see him out and about having sneaky glances at girls tbh lol

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By *poolnerveycouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

liverpool


"if your only doing it to stop him cheating then stop... it does not work and it will make you feel crap..

If your doing it as you kinda fancy the whole idea... then go for it.

Cheating isn't swinging or shouldn't be.... but if someone wants to cheat they will still do so even in this lifestyle "

It's a bit of both, the thought if swinging never entered my mind until he mentioned it to me, been in this site now for around 3 months or so and can't lie that am not hooked, I think I'm coming around to the whole idea of it all x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is pretty much the reason we got into it and we've now been in the lifestyle 2 years. There have been issues but just keep communicating. Now we literally feel like nothing can stand in our way. Good luck xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it hurts for him to look ... which BTW I would say is basic human nature ... then be careful.

I've been slapped by a woman who got jealous in the moment... and one of the reasons I refuse to meet couples by myself

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By *poolnerveycouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

liverpool


"This is pretty much the reason we got into it and we've now been in the lifestyle 2 years. There have been issues but just keep communicating. Now we literally feel like nothing can stand in our way. Good luck xxx"

I think communication is the key to everyone swinging, thank you for advice and you too xxx

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By *poolnerveycouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

liverpool


"If it hurts for him to look ... which BTW I would say is basic human nature ... then be careful.

I've been slapped by a woman who got jealous in the moment... and one of the reasons I refuse to meet couples by myself "

When I see him doimg it, it makes me look at myself, i actually also do it myself when there's a good looking guy about but it doesn't bother j that I do it, which again makes me think he doesnt care lol I know its my traits that I need to deal with and change, which this site does help with x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was the same as you a few months ago. Which is why we only soft swap unless with an ffm where anything and everything goes. And that works for us as all 3 of us get the same attention so nobody gets jealous as i like the ladies as much as he does.

Just keep talking say what you are comfortable with and what is off limits and stick to your boundaries untill your ready to change them.

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By *poolnerveycouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

liverpool


"I was the same as you a few months ago. Which is why we only soft swap unless with an ffm where anything and everything goes. And that works for us as all 3 of us get the same attention so nobody gets jealous as i like the ladies as much as he does.

Just keep talking say what you are comfortable with and what is off limits and stick to your boundaries untill your ready to change them."

I basically should be more open minded, I already new this but u guys have made me realise it's not just that has doubted swinging, thank you x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is my worry to . Xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if your only doing it to stop him cheating then stop... it does not work and it will make you feel crap..

If your doing it as you kinda fancy the whole idea... then go for it.

Cheating isn't swinging or shouldn't be.... but if someone wants to cheat they will still do so even in this lifestyle "

What she said

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By *poolnerveycouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

liverpool


"if your only doing it to stop him cheating then stop... it does not work and it will make you feel crap..

If your doing it as you kinda fancy the whole idea... then go for it.

Cheating isn't swinging or

shouldn't be.... but if someone wants to cheat they will still do so even in this lifestyle

What she said "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it hurts for him to look ... which BTW I would say is basic human nature ... then be careful.

I've been slapped by a woman who got jealous in the moment... and one of the reasons I refuse to meet couples by myself "

Not all couples get jealous

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By *herbert fountainWoman
over a year ago

Hanley


"If it hurts for him to look ... which BTW I would say is basic human nature ... then be careful.

I've been slapped by a woman who got jealous in the moment... and one of the reasons I refuse to meet couples by myself

When I see him doimg it, it makes me look at myself, i actually also do it myself when there's a good looking guy about but it doesn't bother j that I do it, which again makes me think he doesnt care lol I know its my traits that I need to deal with and change, which this site does help with x"

Don't confuse jealousy with caring. My ex was extremely jealous but saw me as a possession not a person. My hubby now makes me feel loved and cherished but is not jealous at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/08/16 12:45:55]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it hurts for him to look ... which BTW I would say is basic human nature ... then be careful.

I've been slapped by a woman who got jealous in the moment... and one of the reasons I refuse to meet couples by myself

Not all couples get jealous "
I've had three bad experiences and also had it happen when as a couple.. although both ways. But it does kinda put you off.

To op... sounds like your jumping in with eyes wide open... so just as others have said talk .. talk .. and talk some more x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think if your wanting to explore yoursekves sexually and share mutual fantasies swinging is the way to go we have found it liberating and a whole lot of fun no jelousy we just get turned on seeing the pleasure and lust in the other

If your looking at swinging to repair a relationship or taking one for the team to please the other i just dont see it ending well in the long term

Only you know which catagory you fall into but i wish you luck and joy whatever

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And op you have an incredible figure btw WOW

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By *egin551Couple
over a year ago

south west !

If you are bothered about it in any way then swinging is not the answer

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"if your only doing it to stop him cheating then stop... it does not work and it will make you feel crap..

If your doing it as you kinda fancy the whole idea... then go for it.

Cheating isn't swinging or shouldn't be.... but if someone wants to cheat they will still do so even in this lifestyle "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's possible that you might enjoy it. Give yourself time to adjust but listen to yourself too. The thought might be great but the reality might be too much for you.

I'm not the same person I was 5 years ago. Change is possible and it can be good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"If it hurts for him to look ... which BTW I would say is basic human nature ... then be careful.

I've been slapped by a woman who got jealous in the moment... and one of the reasons I refuse to meet couples by myself

When I see him doimg it, it makes me look at myself, i actually also do it myself when there's a good looking guy about but it doesn't bother j that I do it, which again makes me think he doesnt care lol I know its my traits that I need to deal with and change, which this site does help with x"

This is exactly how my gf is with me as well and when I tell her I don't mind her looking at other guys she also thinks that I don't care about her which isn't true

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

After speaking with some club owners it seems that a lot of "cheating" still goes on in the swinging lifestyle.. I think for some the "cheating" and deceit is actually what floats their boat...I would say don't bottle anything up and be as open as ever with him about how u feel x

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple


"If it hurts for him to look ... which BTW I would say is basic human nature ... then be careful.

I've been slapped by a woman who got jealous in the moment... and one of the reasons I refuse to meet couples by myself "

Yes we met another couple the woman would not let me near her partner and cried very loudly - awkward

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you're going into this purely to keep your partner then it's not a good idea.

Have you discussed how you'll both feel seeing each other playing with different people, have you thought about jealousy & limitations?

You need to have a strong, secure relationship to begin with otherwise it could end up as a disaster.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield

Sorry, this doesn't quite make sense to me.

You say your bf is interested in other women, so you want to try swinging. But your profile is all around finding men for you. And it is says only looking for men.

Have I missed something??

In terms of the original post, IMO swinging isn't a 'cure' for a potential straying partner. You should be rock solid , then consider it.

Mr B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 18/08/16 14:33:29]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That is why most couples get into swinging, to keep the partner in check.

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By *unandbuckCouple
over a year ago

Sheffield


"That is why most couples get into swinging, to keep the partner in check."

Sorry, disagree completely on that one.

Mr B

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are on here as a couple.....so hasn't the decision already been made? This is a swingers site after all!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is why most couples get into swinging, to keep the partner in check."

Really? id say any relationship trying to use swinging to fix issues is doomed from the get go

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By *inkswithpanCouple
over a year ago

lough


"That is why most couples get into swinging, to keep the partner in check."

Don't think we have ever read a statement so further from the truth

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"That is why most couples get into swinging, to keep the partner in check."

Change the 'most' to 'some' & that's makes for a fair observation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Top marks to the guy for being honest with u . Most guys that age wouldn't think twice .

Men find monogamy more difficult than ladies do at that age .

But he knows he needs more variety and he eants to share those experiences with u .

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We swing because we both like, or more accurately need, variety. It's better to have sex with others openly and together than have hidden affairs, as we both did with our exes. Nothing to be ashamed of, if that's what you like then just do it. But we can imagine there would be problems if only one of a couple wanted to swing and the other was just doing it reluctantly.

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By *poolnerveycouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

liverpool


"Sorry, this doesn't quite make sense to me.

You say your bf is interested in other women, so you want to try swinging. But your profile is all around finding men for you. And it is says only looking for men.

Have I missed something??

In terms of the original post, IMO swinging isn't a 'cure' for a potential straying partner. You should be rock solid , then consider it.

Mr B"

Yes a very simple reason, he made the profile for me to explore, (which I gave) so now he wants to move things on for himself too, if that makes sense x

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By *poolnerveycouple OP   Couple
over a year ago

liverpool


"Top marks to the guy for being honest with u . Most guys that age wouldn't think twice .

Men find monogamy more difficult than ladies do at that age .

But he knows he needs more variety and he eants to share those experiences with u .

"

I totally think the same x

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By *iverpool 2Couple
over a year ago

Liverpool

We started off mainly looking for girl on girl to satisfy A bi curious side, she is fully bi and we've progressed to soft swap and came pretty close to full swap on 2 occasions, we love seeing each other play with others.

Start off and do what your bothcomfortable with x

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By *amissCouple
over a year ago

chelmsford


"If you're going into this purely to keep your partner then it's not a good idea.

Have you discussed how you'll both feel seeing each other playing with different people, have you thought about jealousy & limitations?

You need to have a strong, secure relationship to begin with otherwise it could end up as a disaster."

This! Totally agree!

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