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Breaking The Rules

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By *amboo OP   Couple
over a year ago

kings lynn

When we started meeting guys for 3sums, we, like all couples agreed the rules of engagement and although we have only had about 8/9 meetings, they have all been mutually satisfying and good fun.

Recently though we met a guy we had met before and both liked but this time one of our rules was broken. Whilst sucking a guys cock is ok, she has always stopped before he has cum and he has been satisfied in other ways.However, at our last meeting she sucked him to completion and then swallowed every last drop and that is something that up until then had always been for her and me to share together.

Afterwards she said that she liked the guy a lot and he had got her so worked up that she could not stop even when he told her twice that he was about to cum.

I was not happy about what had happened and it is still gnawing at me. Is that just one of the dangers of doing what we are doing ? Anybody else had a similar experience ? Do I just have to try and forget what happened ?

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By *orders-cplCouple
over a year ago

middx cpl

A lot can happen in a meet all the best plans and rules can go out the window excitment takes over. just need to chat to her and re do your rules we never let a guy cum in my mrs mouth thats just for us the same as anal.

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By *onnoisseur100Man
over a year ago

Woking-ish


"When we started meeting guys for 3sums, we, like all couples agreed the rules of engagement and although we have only had about 8/9 meetings, they have all been mutually satisfying and good fun.

Recently though we met a guy we had met before and both liked but this time one of our rules was broken. Whilst sucking a guys cock is ok, she has always stopped before he has cum and he has been satisfied in other ways.However, at our last meeting she sucked him to completion and then swallowed every last drop and that is something that up until then had always been for her and me to share together.

Afterwards she said that she liked the guy a lot and he had got her so worked up that she could not stop even when he told her twice that he was about to cum.

I was not happy about what had happened and it is still gnawing at me. Is that just one of the dangers of doing what we are doing ? Anybody else had a similar experience ? Do I just have to try and forget what happened ?"

Yes I think you do, perhaps you can get her to give you a blowjob and swallow as a consolation prize after.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd try and forget it.

It happens sometimes, anyone can get carried away in the heat of the moment.

I had been sucking a guys cock then was riding him cowgirl, just as he was about to come he said okay, lets slow down till I control myself and then we'll all go again, the other girl who had shagged him but was now snogging him must have had enough and not wanted to go again because she stuck a finger up his bum before I had 'dismounted' and he couldn't help but shoot his load...... that was it, a long rest was forced upon him and my orgasms stopped mid-play.

Other ways were found to pleasure me but she kind of put a damper on it for others. You shrug... move on.... and try again.

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By *amboo OP   Couple
over a year ago

kings lynn

Thanks, nice to get a constructive reply on here !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mate, i assume this is your partner you are talking about?! if so, she shouldn't be breaking the rules out of respect for you. i would have been gutted but, like you said, all swinging couples run the risk of taking things a lil too far. the good thing is, if you are both happy to swing, then your relationship is strong enough to weather the storm. all it would take is a good chat about how it made you feel....at the end of the day, you are being good enough to let her play with other men, respect needs to be of utmost importance for your relationship. like someone previously said, we all get caught in the moment. hopefully it was just a one off. i'm sure she realises her mistake. hope everything is cool mate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember a thread recently which was similar but the sexes were changed and the act was 'kissing' the reaction was a bit different.

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By *mumaWoman
over a year ago

Livingston


"at the end of the day, you are being good enough to let her play with other men"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"at the end of the day, you are being good enough to let her play with other men "

ummmm, maybe a rephrase needed? lol i meant that it takes a lot of trust to let someone you love be with another person, and it is great that he loves and trusts her enough to do that...therefore, it isn't respectful to break rules that they have both agreed upon! is that better? x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think that rule's should be more guidelines... and that if you swing as a couple that you should talk after and before each meet...

AS sometimes what was right last time, may not be right for the next time.

I often swallow as its something we both enjoy me doing... but its personal choice.

I however would never do something that was not permitted.

Katie x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If we ever found that anything that either of us did during a play meet started to niggle us, that's when we'd both call it a day.

It just ain't worth getting chewed over, or worse again rowing over.

I can see undertones of insecurity here and if that's the case - time to quit.

Only my opinion

B

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By *asperthedogCouple
over a year ago

midlands

less rules the better.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

When we first started swinging, we had a few rules to play by.

As we gained experience, certain things changed, we became more relaxed about the whole thing, and now the rules are more for guidance than anything.

If we are playing, and a situation comes up that goes into uncharted territory, we check with the other first, even if that means stopping play for a short time. Our relationship is too important to risk falling out over something we do for fun.

The only hard and fast rule is about Jayne's safety, she does sometimes play alone with single guys at parties, and we both have to be happy with the "feel" of the situation before that happens, and I make sure I know where they are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If either of us broke one of our rules we would call it a day with swinging. We swing because we trust each other and obviously get a lot of fun out of it.

Rule break = trust gone = fun disappears = stop swinging.

That's how it is with us.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

We had our rules when we first started, then found after a few meets that the OH doesn't care what I do as long as I don't go home with the man after the meet, so I pretty much have a free reign.

But I would never have gone against what his bounderies were at the beginning.

I can understand you being upset as it is a breach of trust, ut to be honest, I am not sure what to advise , as only you know how you feel at the minute.

Good luck x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

im suprised the rules were not broken or destroyed after like 3 meetings anything can happen in the moment

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By *etitesaraTV/TS
over a year ago

rochdale

We had some hard and fast rules when we started, the most obvious being that i could only play with guys and she with girls.

TBH i was happy with this, could hardly believe that A) I was allowed to dress and have sex with guys & B) she wanted to have sex with girls - woohoo!!!

Thing is, i've recently started to fantasise about seeing her with another guy, the strange thing is i don't want to have proper penetrative sex with another girl as it would feel 'wrong' to do so when dressed up - mind you, i would love to be licking a girls bum when dressed

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex

Rules in the grand scheme of things have to be weighted on what it means to you both. There's always the risk they can be broken, especially the more unrealistic the rule ("You're not allowed to cum with her, only with me!"), not that am saying the rules aren't valid but just need not be considered so its not an unnecessary burden potentially.

I used to be with someone sometime back, and our one standing rule was that whoever she or I played with had to respect us both (as we both still had single meets) - so the fact there were a few guys around that hated my guts (one of them actually threatened physical violence) yet wanted to play with her was a non-starter.

Suffice to say her decision to knowingly play with this guy called it a day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So the guy came in her mouth if the roles were reversed would you carry on licking a girls pussy to completion or would you stop.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

People generally say each to their own about rules but in my opinion if you have a whole bunch of things you need to keep for each other you need to really think about whether your relationship is ready for swinging.

Sex with others should not in any way make one partner feel threatened or inadequate(unless they are into humiliation/cuckold).The very fact that you feel only you should be able to come in her mouth suggests to me their are issues you need to address.This int about her dislike of cim,a rule many women have for their own pleasure,but your ideas about "ownership".

Sucking men off this is likely to happen again.You need to talk to each other.

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By *lumsy colinMan
over a year ago

basingstoke


"If either of us broke one of our rules we would call it a day with swinging. We swing because we trust each other and obviously get a lot of fun out of it.

Rule break = trust gone = fun disappears = stop swinging.

That's how it is with us.

"

i wanted to write that you beat me to it problem with a gnawing nagging doubt it grows into a real problem if yuo dont deal with it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think your partners out of order, she knows your rules and chose to disrespect you. Value trust, because as we all know, once it's gone it never returns.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If he had cum before she was expecting it, would that still be breaking the rules?

We had rules when we started playing. No anal, talk about everything before we do it, always play in the same room etc.

Very soon we realised that both of us felt completely different in the heat of the moment - in the heat of the moment, I wanted a cock in every hole so anal was definitely happening! In the heat of the moment he wanted me to go with how I felt, not to stop and ask him if it was ok! He realised his biggest thrill was watching me let myself go and get completely absorbed in the moment, not knowing what I was going to do really excited him!

As for always being in the same room - that finished when he said he wanted to watch me slip into a room with some guys in a club and not have any idea what we were doing!

So rules are good, but you need to understand that as you change then the rules will change as well. I think the main rule you should have is that you should respect your partner - you should be aware of what they would and wouldnt be ok with at that point in time and go with that! Concrete rules are ok for some, but you have the issue then if someone wants to break them - are they wrong for changing the goalposts or is the other partner wrong for not letting them have the chance to try out what they would like?

x

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

Im sorry but those of you saying people do get a little carried away and to fogive and forget easier said than done would you say the same if say the guy slipped into to the womans pussy and shot his load cause i dont think you would.

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By *londieddWoman
over a year ago

fife

whats wrong with swallowing his cum? are the third party only allowed to wank themselves at yr meets? not much fun!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Im sorry but those of you saying people do get a little carried away and to fogive and forget easier said than done would you say the same if say the guy slipped into to the womans pussy and shot his load cause i dont think you would."

That's exactly what we said to each other last night... "oooopssss got carried away" would not be acceptable!

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By *habsMan
over a year ago

Fortress of Solitude, Middlesex


"Im sorry but those of you saying people do get a little carried away and to fogive and forget easier said than done would you say the same if say the guy slipped into to the womans pussy and shot his load cause i dont think you would.

That's exactly what we said to each other last night... "oooopssss got carried away" would not be acceptable! "

Like I said, it depends how realisitc the rule is. Someone posted back that the male was only allowed to cum with his partner (Yeah, and every guy here has complete control of his ejaculation - when, where and who with, heat of the moment or otherwise).

I can really see the convo now:

"You came with her, that was only for me - you bastid, I can never trust you again!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He should consider himself lucky.

imagine if on withdrawal he had blown his load into her hair

She would have cut his bollocks orf

Ahabs*

Should any male that can not control himself be agreeing to let anybody suck his cock that has a rule/aversion with cum in their mouth ?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo

As I have said, the OH lets me have a free reign so we don't have rules as such anymore.

BUT if he did find something that he didn't want me to do with another, I would respect what he wants and not do it.

If it is was something I really really wanted to do then I would bring it up after the event and see if his _iews had changed, but I sure wouldn't do it and then say " but I fancied it at the time"

That is disregarding my OH and I won't do that....we are BOTH meant to enjoying this, not just me.

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

[Removed by poster at 14/04/11 11:18:33]

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"When we started meeting guys for 3sums, we, like all couples agreed the rules of engagement and although we have only had about 8/9 meetings, they have all been mutually satisfying and good fun.

Recently though we met a guy we had met before and both liked but this time one of our rules was broken. Whilst sucking a guys cock is ok, she has always stopped before he has cum and he has been satisfied in other ways.However, at our last meeting she sucked him to completion and then swallowed every last drop and that is something that up until then had always been for her and me to share together.

Afterwards she said that she liked the guy a lot and he had got her so worked up that she could not stop even when he told her twice that he was about to cum.

I was not happy about what had happened and it is still gnawing at me. Is that just one of the dangers of doing what we are doing ? Anybody else had a similar experience ? Do I just have to try and forget what happened ?"

sounds a bit like " the checks in the post" and " I promise I wont cum in your mouth!" lol

chalk it down to experience and maybe ask your self was this a reasonable rule for you to expect to never be broken?

we all know that in the height of passion our brain isn't always in complete control..

As for rules I think the most common is not kissing and anal reserved between the couple, oh and possibly bare back...

I think these if any are probably the easiest to avoid happening.

Remember its far easier to forgive and move on...

Who knows when you'll inadvertently break one of your rules and then you'll have a get out of the shit clause! lol

life's to short to carry grudges.

I'd be more worried if she liked him that much that is she on the phone to him right now making a date to swallow the next load?

cat amongst the pigeons!

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By *awty_MissDynomiteNo1Woman
over a year ago

No idea, I'm lost. Damn Sat nav!

kinda noticing a wee rift here between couples and singles opinions

but i think singles need to think out of their own wee boxes and think more what would you do if you were in a couple situation and i mean a proper couple situation not just fk buddies

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"kinda noticing a wee rift here between couples and singles opinions

but i think singles need to think out of their own wee boxes and think more what would you do if you were in a couple situation and i mean a proper couple situation not just fk buddies "

* nods *

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston

I've played in couples situations with very clear rules and I utterly respect them. If I'm told some things out of bounds then I leave well alone.

Why jeopardise a meet and/or a possible repeat by being pushy or not respecting the rules?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"I've played in couples situations with very clear rules and I utterly respect them. If I'm told some things out of bounds then I leave well alone.

Why jeopardise a meet and/or a possible repeat by being pushy or not respecting the rules? "

To be fair, it is the wife who didn't respect their rules and not the single man who was telling her he was about to cum

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By *nvictusMan
over a year ago

Beeston


"I've played in couples situations with very clear rules and I utterly respect them. If I'm told some things out of bounds then I leave well alone.

Why jeopardise a meet and/or a possible repeat by being pushy or not respecting the rules?

To be fair, it is the wife who didn't respect their rules and not the single man who was telling her he was about to cum "

I just meant me really. You should know I always mean me by now, surely?

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"I've played in couples situations with very clear rules and I utterly respect them. If I'm told some things out of bounds then I leave well alone.

Why jeopardise a meet and/or a possible repeat by being pushy or not respecting the rules?

To be fair, it is the wife who didn't respect their rules and not the single man who was telling her he was about to cum

I just meant me really. You should know I always mean me by now, surely? "

True, it is always me me me with you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"kinda noticing a wee rift here between couples and singles opinions

but i think singles need to think out of their own wee boxes and think more what would you do if you were in a couple situation and i mean a proper couple situation not just fk buddies

* nods *"

*Nods too*

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod

over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

Actually I think if you had agreed certain 'boundaries' and one of you broke them, I would like you be not best pleased...

She did wrong..

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By *inky24big35Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

id be annoyed too she shudnt have done that without talking things through with u.u shud sit down and talk truthfully and assess ever situation possible,coz im sure she wudnt be happy if u done something she didnt want u to do

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Food for thought, maybe ?

Man being sucked off by another mans partner as he either watched or took a part in a 3sum.

This couple have a NO cim rule, their guest is also aware of this preference.

The invited male openly states as he is approaching climax, I’m cumming.

Both of the couple hear this comment.

The 3rd waits for the bj to end.

The male partner waits for his partner to stop sucking.

She continues sucking.

The now worried potential rule breaker again mentions he is near the point of no return.

Both of the couple hear this plea.

She continues sucking.

The now cumming male has assumed it’s okay for him to ejaculate into her mouth ?

They both heard his warnings, didn’t they ?

The female knows what’s about to happen, doesn’t she ?

Her partner is there, his heard me, his still watching, isn’t he ?

He blows, after warnings, wasn’t there ?

All three where making assumptions, wasn’t they ?

The visitor assumed he would be stopped before spurting by one of them, didn’t he ?

The female assumed her partner would stop her, if he wasn’t happy, wouldn’t he ?

The now cumming male assumed one of them would have stopped proceedings if they weren’t happy, wouldn’t they.

He should have pulled his cock out of her mouth, shouldn’t he ? he knows our rule, doesn’t he ?

All three took part in this so IMO all three are equally responsible, aren’t they ?

I wonder

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

firstly the other male did say he was about to cum so he obviously new the rules at the start and stook to them,the tha lady continued was her choice and hers alone and she broke the rules for her own reasons..

each cpls rules are there own and no one has a right to judge there rules and on that basis the lady in question crossed a line and if it were my mrs done that id be very upset indeed..

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs


"If he had cum before she was expecting it, would that still be breaking the rules?

We had rules when we started playing. No anal, talk about everything before we do it, always play in the same room etc.

Very soon we realised that both of us felt completely different in the heat of the moment - in the heat of the moment, I wanted a cock in every hole so anal was definitely happening! In the heat of the moment he wanted me to go with how I felt, not to stop and ask him if it was ok! He realised his biggest thrill was watching me let myself go and get completely absorbed in the moment, not knowing what I was going to do really excited him!

As for always being in the same room - that finished when he said he wanted to watch me slip into a room with some guys in a club and not have any idea what we were doing!

So rules are good, but you need to understand that as you change then the rules will change as well. I think the main rule you should have is that you should respect your partner - you should be aware of what they would and wouldnt be ok with at that point in time and go with that! Concrete rules are ok for some, but you have the issue then if someone wants to break them - are they wrong for changing the goalposts or is the other partner wrong for not letting them have the chance to try out what they would like?

x"

I have to agree with the sentiments above..as you become more comfortable with playing with others you should have the sense to realise that 'rules' may change and perhaps you shouldn't come over as 'holier than thou' should the unexpected happen, really listen to what's being said and here what it is she means...who knows there may come at time when you want to have a little leigh way on your "10 commandments"

and then you're bolloxed!

nobody died so your pride is a little heart that she found this guy attractive enough to swallow...

Perhaps a code word could be used between you if at any time or on the odd occasion you feel like bending,stretching or breaking the rules.

in my teens I would have been jealous as hell at this happening...now I'd be only to glad to see any partner I have enjoying without having to look over their shoulder just in case.

I have played with couples where boundaries are present and I have always respected them and had fun but you have a nagging thought at the back of your mind its like trying to eat a doughnut with out licking your lips! it can be done but not as much pleasure.

maybe re_iew your rules once in a while, you may have some to that need revising..

a couple who grows together stays together. if there's no respect between you and you cant get past this well perhaps this insn't for you.

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales


"at the end of the day, you are being good enough to let her play with other men

ummmm, maybe a rephrase needed? lol i meant that it takes a lot of trust to let someone you love be with another person, and it is great that he loves and trusts her enough to do that...therefore, it isn't respectful to break rules that they have both agreed upon! is that better? x "

Or maybe it's more respectful to trust your partner, and not have so many rules? After all, you are sharing you partner in a sexual way with someone else, shouldn't you trust them to only go as far as what feels right? It IS only sex for fun..

Now if you'd said she let the guy cum in her mouth and it was something she didn't like to do with you, then maybe you'd have more of a point.. but, dunno, perhaps it's just us and no disrespect meant, but it seems like a storm in a teacup.

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales


"..the lady in question crossed a line and if it were my mrs done that id be very upset indeed.. "

You do understand, you dont 'own' that other person, right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


" but it seems like a storm in a teacup."

depends on the individuals values i suppose and how they perceive swinging. dont ya think? x

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales


" but it seems like a storm in a teacup.

depends on the individuals values i suppose and how they perceive swinging. dont ya think? x "

Yes and no. Of course everybody has their own values and opinions - that's what makes us individuals, but that's my point.. They are individuals too, they shouldn't contro each other.

It's fine to set a few basic rules, but you can't enter into something like swinging which is all about openness, meet with someone a few times, and expect those rules to not adapt along the way. And even worse, sulk about it when your partner has fun that differed from the norm in the heat of the moment. Talk about it then get over it.. Or stop swinging because it's obviously not for you..

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


" but it seems like a storm in a teacup.

depends on the individuals values i suppose and how they perceive swinging. dont ya think? x

Yes and no. Of course everybody has their own values and opinions - that's what makes us individuals, but that's my point.. They are individuals too, they shouldn't contro each other.

It's fine to set a few basic rules, but you can't enter into something like swinging which is all about openness, meet with someone a few times, and expect those rules to not adapt along the way. And even worse, sulk about it when your partner has fun that differed from the norm in the heat of the moment. Talk about it then get over it.. Or stop swinging because it's obviously not for you.."

I think most people have rules. ie on another thread about barebacking, some have rules about not going bareback. However if a member of the couple got caught up in the moment and allowed it, I'm sure the OH would feel put out about it.

Everyone has different levels of rules, even if it's just don't divorce me at the end of the night. But part of being a couple is agreeing to a level of control. Just like living in a society means a level of control, a couple is a mini society of it's own with 2 individuals who agree to live by a common set of rules.

ie don't blow the mortgage on a game of poker, or I'll feel mighty put out.

I want kids, you don't, there need to be compromise which is the same as control, to reach and agreement or there can be no relationship and both will have to move on.

I'm sure if I decided to just give up working for a living, my partner would feel quite put out.

Basically it's fine saying I'm an individual, but we all live together and have to agree to common rules. Couples live very close together and so trust is even more important there.

As for the OP, well it depends on how important that rule is to your intamcy.

Being in a similar position I broke a rule on one of our first meets, as it turned out the OH was not bothered, but I knew I had broken a rule and hence trust and so did feel sorry for not sticking to the agreement.

If she had been bothered by it then I would have had to reassure her it would not occur again or failing that just stop swinging.

Rules are rules, but not all rules carry the same value.

I suppose if you want to break it down, how important was it that this guy came in her mouth??

When she has sucked any guy before, she will have had a level of cum in her mouth if only precum. So it's more of a graduation of what she has already done physically.

If it's more of a psycological thing, ie she can only bring me to satisfaction with her mouth and not other men.

Is she allowed to make them cum with her hands or with or without a condom in her pussy??

I agree she should stick to the rules, but how you _iew it depends upon how important it is.

I think I may have got lost somewhere in that post,

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"

Yes and no. Of course everybody has their own values and opinions - that's what makes us individuals, but that's my point.. They are individuals too, they shouldn't contro each other.

.."

Respecting your partner isn't controlling them.

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales


"

Yes and no. Of course everybody has their own values and opinions - that's what makes us individuals, but that's my point.. They are individuals too, they shouldn't contro each other.

..

Respecting your partner isn't controlling them.

"

Of course it isn't and I don't think I made a good point. For some here though it does seem that control is quite an issue.

As for the OP, I've already said, of course you need rules, but you also need flexibility and the need to adapt them as situations change, as they do quite so often in this lifestyle. Perhaps the question should be why was it a rule in the first place, as it was something that obviously was more important to you than her and how aware of that was she?

Still don't see it as that much of a deal, but that's just my opinion, and obviously a lot of people agree with the OP.

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By *emmefataleWoman
over a year ago

dirtybigbadsgirlville

Personally i think any pre agreed boundaries that are crossed shows nothing but disrespect and contempt for your partner

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales


"Im sorry but those of you saying people do get a little carried away and to fogive and forget easier said than done would you say the same if say the guy slipped into to the womans pussy and shot his load cause i dont think you would."

Not even similar really, is it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree that in a meet things never follow a script word for word and with mutual consent things might happen that werent originally on the radar.

But a line is crossed when one partner is upset. It doesnt matter if it was a simple thing, like dont touch anyones feet. if it was a rule and one of the couple broke it, without regard for the other person, and the other person is upset, then it should not be forgotten. Your own partner should always be more important than a stranger you are meeting for sex.

I agree with Femme, if pre agreed boundaries are broken it is disrespectful

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

Not even similar really, is it?"

i think it is. maybe slightly more personal, but she allowed him to adjaculate in her mouth (orifice)...her pussy is also a personal orifice. i can't see too much difference to be honest. but everyone's _iews will differ

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

O o O oo


"

Yes and no. Of course everybody has their own values and opinions - that's what makes us individuals, but that's my point.. They are individuals too, they shouldn't contro each other.

..

Respecting your partner isn't controlling them.

Of course it isn't and I don't think I made a good point. For some here though it does seem that control is quite an issue.

As for the OP, I've already said, of course you need rules, but you also need flexibility and the need to adapt them as situations change, as they do quite so often in this lifestyle. Perhaps the question should be why was it a rule in the first place, as it was something that obviously was more important to you than her and how aware of that was she?

Still don't see it as that much of a deal, but that's just my opinion, and obviously a lot of people agree with the OP."

I sort of agree with bits of what you say....as I have said up there somwhere, when we first started we had ideas of what we wanted and things changed over time, to the point where we don't really have rules....but if we did have rules, we would stick to them at the time and discuss them after to see if either wanted to change them.

I know in the heat of the moment it might be difficult for some, but if I was doing something that I know my OH wouldn't be enjoying me doing, that would be enough to stop me doing it.

Your question of why was the rule there as she obviously doesn't agree? Thats something that I think were frank communication is needed between couples.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

why, on hearing the guy telling the girl he was gonna cum, not once but TWICE, did the OP not peel her off? She broke the rules. Fun should have stopped, the guy should have been asked politely to leave, as it wasnt his fault, he did warn them. And the discussion should have happened then. Take time out from swinging until you both get this sorted. Swinging together in same room, or with that rule needs to be talked about.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"why, on hearing the guy telling the girl he was gonna cum, not once but TWICE, did the OP not peel her off? She broke the rules. Fun should have stopped, the guy should have been asked politely to leave, as it wasnt his fault, he did warn them. And the discussion should have happened then. Take time out from swinging until you both get this sorted. Swinging together in same room, or with that rule needs to be talked about."

agree take time out from it x

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

In your bed


"Im sorry but those of you saying people do get a little carried away and to fogive and forget easier said than done would you say the same if say the guy slipped into to the womans pussy and shot his load cause i dont think you would.

Not even similar really, is it?"

Not to you but could be to the OP. It's all about values and we can't compare whose values are more or less important. Everyone places a value on everything, but it's actually only your own valuation that matters to you.

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By *john121Man
over a year ago

staffs

[Removed by poster at 19/04/11 10:00:25]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP if this is niggling you you have to talk it over with your partner.

Not doing so will just let a niggling problem turn into a serious issue.

Talk to her and see what happens

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's amusing to me that had a woman posted the problem, about her man, most of the forumites would've been down on the bloke like a tonne of bricks.

But no, it's the other way round so its nice an constructive.

Hey ho.

But anyway, OP, she broke your rules, have a word with her tell you arent happy.

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By *carletRomanceCouple
over a year ago

glasgow

Um, we have a similar rule. Nothing to do with ownership, all to do with safety. All rules we have are there for our safety.

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By *ocksoff3Couple
over a year ago

Liverpool

It comes down to trust and if a couple can't trust each other to play by their own agreed rules then swinging will lead to a breakdown in their relationship.

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By *ittle-Miss-MuffetCouple
over a year ago

Chester / North Wales


"

Not even similar really, is it?

i think it is. maybe slightly more personal, but she allowed him to adjaculate in her mouth (orifice)...her pussy is also a personal orifice. i can't see too much difference to be honest. but everyone's _iews will differ "

Really? Wouldn't suggest trying that one next time you are down your local swinging club and because a lady has let you cum in her mouth how quickly you get punched in the knackers if you try and do the same with unprotected sex..

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By *ombshellWoman
over a year ago

islington

eeeeeeeee!! fank fook im single is all i can say ...lol no one to answer to but meself..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When I first got into swinging with my partner, I was the newbie and he was the experienced swinger. He set the rules and I abided by them (I was cool with the rules)..........until I saw him break every rule. Ok I agree I dont own him, but it sure fucked me off that he made them in the first place. I agree with the comments, it is about respect.

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