Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Swingers Chat |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When we started meeting guys for 3sums, we, like all couples agreed the rules of engagement and although we have only had about 8/9 meetings, they have all been mutually satisfying and good fun. Recently though we met a guy we had met before and both liked but this time one of our rules was broken. Whilst sucking a guys cock is ok, she has always stopped before he has cum and he has been satisfied in other ways.However, at our last meeting she sucked him to completion and then swallowed every last drop and that is something that up until then had always been for her and me to share together. Afterwards she said that she liked the guy a lot and he had got her so worked up that she could not stop even when he told her twice that he was about to cum. I was not happy about what had happened and it is still gnawing at me. Is that just one of the dangers of doing what we are doing ? Anybody else had a similar experience ? Do I just have to try and forget what happened ?" Yes I think you do, perhaps you can get her to give you a blowjob and swallow as a consolation prize after. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"at the end of the day, you are being good enough to let her play with other men" | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"at the end of the day, you are being good enough to let her play with other men " ummmm, maybe a rephrase needed? lol i meant that it takes a lot of trust to let someone you love be with another person, and it is great that he loves and trusts her enough to do that...therefore, it isn't respectful to break rules that they have both agreed upon! is that better? x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If either of us broke one of our rules we would call it a day with swinging. We swing because we trust each other and obviously get a lot of fun out of it. Rule break = trust gone = fun disappears = stop swinging. That's how it is with us. " i wanted to write that you beat me to it problem with a gnawing nagging doubt it grows into a real problem if yuo dont deal with it | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Im sorry but those of you saying people do get a little carried away and to fogive and forget easier said than done would you say the same if say the guy slipped into to the womans pussy and shot his load cause i dont think you would." That's exactly what we said to each other last night... "oooopssss got carried away" would not be acceptable! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Im sorry but those of you saying people do get a little carried away and to fogive and forget easier said than done would you say the same if say the guy slipped into to the womans pussy and shot his load cause i dont think you would. That's exactly what we said to each other last night... "oooopssss got carried away" would not be acceptable! " Like I said, it depends how realisitc the rule is. Someone posted back that the male was only allowed to cum with his partner (Yeah, and every guy here has complete control of his ejaculation - when, where and who with, heat of the moment or otherwise). I can really see the convo now: "You came with her, that was only for me - you bastid, I can never trust you again!" | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"When we started meeting guys for 3sums, we, like all couples agreed the rules of engagement and although we have only had about 8/9 meetings, they have all been mutually satisfying and good fun. Recently though we met a guy we had met before and both liked but this time one of our rules was broken. Whilst sucking a guys cock is ok, she has always stopped before he has cum and he has been satisfied in other ways.However, at our last meeting she sucked him to completion and then swallowed every last drop and that is something that up until then had always been for her and me to share together. Afterwards she said that she liked the guy a lot and he had got her so worked up that she could not stop even when he told her twice that he was about to cum. I was not happy about what had happened and it is still gnawing at me. Is that just one of the dangers of doing what we are doing ? Anybody else had a similar experience ? Do I just have to try and forget what happened ?" sounds a bit like " the checks in the post" and " I promise I wont cum in your mouth!" lol chalk it down to experience and maybe ask your self was this a reasonable rule for you to expect to never be broken? we all know that in the height of passion our brain isn't always in complete control.. As for rules I think the most common is not kissing and anal reserved between the couple, oh and possibly bare back... I think these if any are probably the easiest to avoid happening. Remember its far easier to forgive and move on... Who knows when you'll inadvertently break one of your rules and then you'll have a get out of the shit clause! lol life's to short to carry grudges. I'd be more worried if she liked him that much that is she on the phone to him right now making a date to swallow the next load? cat amongst the pigeons! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"kinda noticing a wee rift here between couples and singles opinions but i think singles need to think out of their own wee boxes and think more what would you do if you were in a couple situation and i mean a proper couple situation not just fk buddies " * nods * | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've played in couples situations with very clear rules and I utterly respect them. If I'm told some things out of bounds then I leave well alone. Why jeopardise a meet and/or a possible repeat by being pushy or not respecting the rules? " To be fair, it is the wife who didn't respect their rules and not the single man who was telling her he was about to cum | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've played in couples situations with very clear rules and I utterly respect them. If I'm told some things out of bounds then I leave well alone. Why jeopardise a meet and/or a possible repeat by being pushy or not respecting the rules? To be fair, it is the wife who didn't respect their rules and not the single man who was telling her he was about to cum " I just meant me really. You should know I always mean me by now, surely? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've played in couples situations with very clear rules and I utterly respect them. If I'm told some things out of bounds then I leave well alone. Why jeopardise a meet and/or a possible repeat by being pushy or not respecting the rules? To be fair, it is the wife who didn't respect their rules and not the single man who was telling her he was about to cum I just meant me really. You should know I always mean me by now, surely? " True, it is always me me me with you | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"kinda noticing a wee rift here between couples and singles opinions but i think singles need to think out of their own wee boxes and think more what would you do if you were in a couple situation and i mean a proper couple situation not just fk buddies * nods *" *Nods too* | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"If he had cum before she was expecting it, would that still be breaking the rules? We had rules when we started playing. No anal, talk about everything before we do it, always play in the same room etc. Very soon we realised that both of us felt completely different in the heat of the moment - in the heat of the moment, I wanted a cock in every hole so anal was definitely happening! In the heat of the moment he wanted me to go with how I felt, not to stop and ask him if it was ok! He realised his biggest thrill was watching me let myself go and get completely absorbed in the moment, not knowing what I was going to do really excited him! As for always being in the same room - that finished when he said he wanted to watch me slip into a room with some guys in a club and not have any idea what we were doing! So rules are good, but you need to understand that as you change then the rules will change as well. I think the main rule you should have is that you should respect your partner - you should be aware of what they would and wouldnt be ok with at that point in time and go with that! Concrete rules are ok for some, but you have the issue then if someone wants to break them - are they wrong for changing the goalposts or is the other partner wrong for not letting them have the chance to try out what they would like? x" I have to agree with the sentiments above..as you become more comfortable with playing with others you should have the sense to realise that 'rules' may change and perhaps you shouldn't come over as 'holier than thou' should the unexpected happen, really listen to what's being said and here what it is she means...who knows there may come at time when you want to have a little leigh way on your "10 commandments" and then you're bolloxed! nobody died so your pride is a little heart that she found this guy attractive enough to swallow... Perhaps a code word could be used between you if at any time or on the odd occasion you feel like bending,stretching or breaking the rules. in my teens I would have been jealous as hell at this happening...now I'd be only to glad to see any partner I have enjoying without having to look over their shoulder just in case. I have played with couples where boundaries are present and I have always respected them and had fun but you have a nagging thought at the back of your mind its like trying to eat a doughnut with out licking your lips! it can be done but not as much pleasure. maybe re_iew your rules once in a while, you may have some to that need revising.. a couple who grows together stays together. if there's no respect between you and you cant get past this well perhaps this insn't for you. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"at the end of the day, you are being good enough to let her play with other men ummmm, maybe a rephrase needed? lol i meant that it takes a lot of trust to let someone you love be with another person, and it is great that he loves and trusts her enough to do that...therefore, it isn't respectful to break rules that they have both agreed upon! is that better? x " Or maybe it's more respectful to trust your partner, and not have so many rules? After all, you are sharing you partner in a sexual way with someone else, shouldn't you trust them to only go as far as what feels right? It IS only sex for fun.. Now if you'd said she let the guy cum in her mouth and it was something she didn't like to do with you, then maybe you'd have more of a point.. but, dunno, perhaps it's just us and no disrespect meant, but it seems like a storm in a teacup. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"..the lady in question crossed a line and if it were my mrs done that id be very upset indeed.. " You do understand, you dont 'own' that other person, right? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" but it seems like a storm in a teacup." depends on the individuals values i suppose and how they perceive swinging. dont ya think? x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" but it seems like a storm in a teacup. depends on the individuals values i suppose and how they perceive swinging. dont ya think? x " Yes and no. Of course everybody has their own values and opinions - that's what makes us individuals, but that's my point.. They are individuals too, they shouldn't contro each other. It's fine to set a few basic rules, but you can't enter into something like swinging which is all about openness, meet with someone a few times, and expect those rules to not adapt along the way. And even worse, sulk about it when your partner has fun that differed from the norm in the heat of the moment. Talk about it then get over it.. Or stop swinging because it's obviously not for you.. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" but it seems like a storm in a teacup. depends on the individuals values i suppose and how they perceive swinging. dont ya think? x Yes and no. Of course everybody has their own values and opinions - that's what makes us individuals, but that's my point.. They are individuals too, they shouldn't contro each other. It's fine to set a few basic rules, but you can't enter into something like swinging which is all about openness, meet with someone a few times, and expect those rules to not adapt along the way. And even worse, sulk about it when your partner has fun that differed from the norm in the heat of the moment. Talk about it then get over it.. Or stop swinging because it's obviously not for you.." I think most people have rules. ie on another thread about barebacking, some have rules about not going bareback. However if a member of the couple got caught up in the moment and allowed it, I'm sure the OH would feel put out about it. Everyone has different levels of rules, even if it's just don't divorce me at the end of the night. But part of being a couple is agreeing to a level of control. Just like living in a society means a level of control, a couple is a mini society of it's own with 2 individuals who agree to live by a common set of rules. ie don't blow the mortgage on a game of poker, or I'll feel mighty put out. I want kids, you don't, there need to be compromise which is the same as control, to reach and agreement or there can be no relationship and both will have to move on. I'm sure if I decided to just give up working for a living, my partner would feel quite put out. Basically it's fine saying I'm an individual, but we all live together and have to agree to common rules. Couples live very close together and so trust is even more important there. As for the OP, well it depends on how important that rule is to your intamcy. Being in a similar position I broke a rule on one of our first meets, as it turned out the OH was not bothered, but I knew I had broken a rule and hence trust and so did feel sorry for not sticking to the agreement. If she had been bothered by it then I would have had to reassure her it would not occur again or failing that just stop swinging. Rules are rules, but not all rules carry the same value. I suppose if you want to break it down, how important was it that this guy came in her mouth?? When she has sucked any guy before, she will have had a level of cum in her mouth if only precum. So it's more of a graduation of what she has already done physically. If it's more of a psycological thing, ie she can only bring me to satisfaction with her mouth and not other men. Is she allowed to make them cum with her hands or with or without a condom in her pussy?? I agree she should stick to the rules, but how you _iew it depends upon how important it is. I think I may have got lost somewhere in that post, | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Yes and no. Of course everybody has their own values and opinions - that's what makes us individuals, but that's my point.. They are individuals too, they shouldn't contro each other. .." Respecting your partner isn't controlling them. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Yes and no. Of course everybody has their own values and opinions - that's what makes us individuals, but that's my point.. They are individuals too, they shouldn't contro each other. .. Respecting your partner isn't controlling them. " Of course it isn't and I don't think I made a good point. For some here though it does seem that control is quite an issue. As for the OP, I've already said, of course you need rules, but you also need flexibility and the need to adapt them as situations change, as they do quite so often in this lifestyle. Perhaps the question should be why was it a rule in the first place, as it was something that obviously was more important to you than her and how aware of that was she? Still don't see it as that much of a deal, but that's just my opinion, and obviously a lot of people agree with the OP. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Im sorry but those of you saying people do get a little carried away and to fogive and forget easier said than done would you say the same if say the guy slipped into to the womans pussy and shot his load cause i dont think you would." Not even similar really, is it? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Not even similar really, is it?" i think it is. maybe slightly more personal, but she allowed him to adjaculate in her mouth (orifice)...her pussy is also a personal orifice. i can't see too much difference to be honest. but everyone's _iews will differ | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Yes and no. Of course everybody has their own values and opinions - that's what makes us individuals, but that's my point.. They are individuals too, they shouldn't contro each other. .. Respecting your partner isn't controlling them. Of course it isn't and I don't think I made a good point. For some here though it does seem that control is quite an issue. As for the OP, I've already said, of course you need rules, but you also need flexibility and the need to adapt them as situations change, as they do quite so often in this lifestyle. Perhaps the question should be why was it a rule in the first place, as it was something that obviously was more important to you than her and how aware of that was she? Still don't see it as that much of a deal, but that's just my opinion, and obviously a lot of people agree with the OP." I sort of agree with bits of what you say....as I have said up there somwhere, when we first started we had ideas of what we wanted and things changed over time, to the point where we don't really have rules....but if we did have rules, we would stick to them at the time and discuss them after to see if either wanted to change them. I know in the heat of the moment it might be difficult for some, but if I was doing something that I know my OH wouldn't be enjoying me doing, that would be enough to stop me doing it. Your question of why was the rule there as she obviously doesn't agree? Thats something that I think were frank communication is needed between couples. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"why, on hearing the guy telling the girl he was gonna cum, not once but TWICE, did the OP not peel her off? She broke the rules. Fun should have stopped, the guy should have been asked politely to leave, as it wasnt his fault, he did warn them. And the discussion should have happened then. Take time out from swinging until you both get this sorted. Swinging together in same room, or with that rule needs to be talked about." agree take time out from it x | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Im sorry but those of you saying people do get a little carried away and to fogive and forget easier said than done would you say the same if say the guy slipped into to the womans pussy and shot his load cause i dont think you would. Not even similar really, is it?" Not to you but could be to the OP. It's all about values and we can't compare whose values are more or less important. Everyone places a value on everything, but it's actually only your own valuation that matters to you. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
" Not even similar really, is it? i think it is. maybe slightly more personal, but she allowed him to adjaculate in her mouth (orifice)...her pussy is also a personal orifice. i can't see too much difference to be honest. but everyone's _iews will differ " Really? Wouldn't suggest trying that one next time you are down your local swinging club and because a lady has let you cum in her mouth how quickly you get punched in the knackers if you try and do the same with unprotected sex.. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |