FabSwingers.com forum: Swinging scene has changes so much over the last 8 years

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Now it seems that all you get is power hungry women that do what they want and won't let there man join in the fun. It used to be a free for all great fun. What are your thoughts?

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

It doesnt seem to be our experience ,in some cases the male doesn't play with other women.However we just move on ,as there are plenty of couples that both want fun.

Miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My husband was first on the swing scene about fifteen with his first wife, and then later as a single man. Obviously before the Internet ruled swinging. He feels it was more straightforward then. He knew returning to the scene that bit older, his age may be against him for some opportunities. But he was surprised to find women has so many more rules. He felt not only would some not play with men his age, but some wouldn't play with men at all (only wanted women). Then there are those who only want black men (the interracial scene also seams to be new). So before, all he had to do was establish whether a woman was attracted to him. Now he has to find out if they like men, or if they like white men, before he can even consider his chances.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many prerequisites.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now it seems that all you get is power hungry women that do what they want and won't let there man join in the fun. It used to be a free for all great fun. What are your thoughts?"

I wouldn't know as I wasn't here 8 years ago. I'm sure for you it's a shame to see it changing and not for the better.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My husband was first on the swing scene about fifteen with his first wife, and then later as a single man. Obviously before the Internet ruled swinging. He feels it was more straightforward then. He knew returning to the scene that bit older, his age may be against him for some opportunities. But he was surprised to find women has so many more rules. He felt not only would some not play with men his age, but some wouldn't play with men at all (only wanted women). Then there are those who only want black men (the interracial scene also seams to be new). So before, all he had to do was establish whether a woman was attracted to him. Now he has to find out if they like men, or if they like white men, before he can even consider his chances."

l've seen a lot a ''white men only'' too, especially from black girls, which is unusual.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Could it Just be that they do things differently to you op? Maybe the husband doesn't want to join in. Maybe that's where he gets his kick from? I think all the judgemental people in swinging are the problem. Not those that do things differently.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Could it Just be that they do things differently to you op? Maybe the husband doesn't want to join in. Maybe that's where he gets his kick from? I think all the judgemental people in swinging are the problem. Not those that do things differently."

They said that he experienced the scene before and after and that there was a change. So they had experience to draw on. l got the impression that this wasn't referring to one meet.

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By *dam_TinaCouple
over a year ago

Hampshire

l've seen a lot a ''white men only'' too, especially from black girls, which is unusual."

Surely if you've seen that a lot then it can't be unusual ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have only been swinging 2 years so we can't comment on whether the scene has changed or not......but Mrs 6262 swings more than Mr6262 due to higher sex drive, more spare time and always with permission of Mr.....nothing to do with power.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Got to agree.....plenty couples where the guy doesn't join in. Gets his enjoyment from seeing his lady pleasures.....suits me as I enjoy doing the pleasing. If he joins in or not is fine by me either way!

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By *imply DifferentCouple
over a year ago

Bradford

Can't comment on a change but L isn't power hungry whatsoever!

We see a lot of "submissive" women around too!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

l've seen a lot a ''white men only'' too, especially from black girls, which is unusual.

Surely if you've seen that a lot then it can't be unusual ?

l found it unusual that so many black women on here preferred it, that all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They said that he experienced the scene before and after and that there was a change. So they had experience to draw on. l got the impression that this wasn't referring to one meet."

Maybe the change has come about because the scene is more accessible and more and more people feel they are able to explore more sexually. I'm not sure why that should be viewed as a bad thing.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They said that he experienced the scene before and after and that there was a change. So they had experience to draw on. l got the impression that this wasn't referring to one meet."

The OP was saying that some women won't let the husbands join in. I believe this would be a situation of consensual cuckoldry, so in actual fact the husband in that situation, not only isn't allowed to join in, but wouldn't want to. I've no idea if this is a new concept to the scene. My experience is that this is extreme, and most men are well within their rights to join in should they want to. But sonetimes men (or women) like to watch their partners play.

What I was referring to earlier were more a club situation, where a man had to not only establish whether the woman plays with men, before he can consider a look in, but has to find out what race they like to play with.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't comment on a change but L isn't power hungry whatsoever!

We see a lot of "submissive" women around too!"

Oh yes it's very fashionable to be submissive and have a Dom. I wondered if that concept has become common place. (Not criticising btw, as I love this aspect of the scene.)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

They said that he experienced the scene before and after and that there was a change. So they had experience to draw on. l got the impression that this wasn't referring to one meet.

Maybe the change has come about because the scene is more accessible and more and more people feel they are able to explore more sexually. I'm not sure why that should be viewed as a bad thing."

That's probably true. The Internet probably gives people ideas that they wouldn't have thought of before. Hence the rise of specialities within the scene.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't comment on a change but L isn't power hungry whatsoever!

We see a lot of "submissive" women around too!

Oh yes it's very fashionable to be submissive and have a Dom. I wondered if that concept has become common place. (Not criticising btw, as I love this aspect of the scene.)"

l like the fact that many of the black girls prefer white guys too. l prefer them. There are so few where l live..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't comment on a change but L isn't power hungry whatsoever!

We see a lot of "submissive" women around too!

Oh yes it's very fashionable to be submissive and have a Dom. I wondered if that concept has become common place. (Not criticising btw, as I love this aspect of the scene.)

l like the fact that many of the black girls prefer white guys too. l prefer them. There are so few where l live.."

Haven't noticed. In South London, where we normally attend parties, there are loads of black guys, but I've only seen less than a handful of black ladies. I've no idea what their preferences are.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't comment on a change but L isn't power hungry whatsoever!

We see a lot of "submissive" women around too!

Oh yes it's very fashionable to be submissive and have a Dom. I wondered if that concept has become common place. (Not criticising btw, as I love this aspect of the scene.)

l like the fact that many of the black girls prefer white guys too. l prefer them. There are so few where l live..

Haven't noticed. In South London, where we normally attend parties, there are loads of black guys, but I've only seen less than a handful of black ladies. I've no idea what their preferences are."

l'm going from browsing here as there aren't any up in Scotland.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

But suppose all those years ago

You de to ring a mail box - etc so cut out a lot of messers I reckon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Now it seems that all you get is power hungry women that do what they want and won't let there man join in the fun. It used to be a free for all great fun. What are your thoughts?"

I can't comment on yesteryear as we're relatively new to this but could it be that rather than 'power hungry women' dictating what men can't and can do it could be that the man doesn't actually want to play and/or the woman is just assertive/choosy rather than power hungry?

And now the Internet has made the lifestyle more accessible for everyone people are generally more selective about who they play with and how they play.

Plus, as we all get older I think our options decrease as there will always be younger people getting into it but less chance of older people suddenly becoming swingers. That's not to say it doesn't happen, just the probability is lower. And some younger people will want to play with older people but they will also have a wealth of people their own age to meet so can be more choosy.

Also, I think this site has an abundance of single people who just like lots of sex with other singles as opposed to 'good old-fashioned swingers', this isn't a bad thing just an observation that there are probably lots on here who don't have a partner to 'share' anyway.

Anyway, I'm rambling but there's my take on it X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i think theres just more people enjoying it -

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think theres just more people enjoying it - "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i think theres just more people enjoying it -

Could be ego? l think a lot of average looking girls do this stuff and get more attention and the head swells. Just a theory.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We started swinging coming up to 6 years ago, we don't see it as any different now to how it was then, there are people who want us, people who don't, never been any different for us.

I will say there are alot more people on the site than when we joined though! Which I guess could make it seem different if you are attracted to people who aren't attracted to your type.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Im new to the scene so my opinion probably doesnt hold much weight but could the change in swinging and people being more active in persuing a particular kink just be a reflection of society and whats socially acceptable now compared to then

In general we are much more liberal and open minded about enjoying sex and keeping it exciting although its still somewhat looked down on promiscuity is becoming common place in society and whereas before a white women wanting a big black cock would be something that she would be exhiled from the family for but now nobody really cares so they feel they can persue their particular kinks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Power hungry women"

That's a fairly damning label OP? Perhaps it would be fairer to say that, compared to more than 8 years ago, women in general are more confident of themselves in life general?

Yes, the scene has changed, some of it for the good - more acceptable and wider choices for information and communication - and some of it bad - too little time spent on contacting and chatting with contacts, too much insistence on "now, now! lifestyle - but one thing is consistent . .

. . many solo guys are still cheating and lying as much as before and still outnumber the solo females in unworkable proportions.

Couples do seem to be more independent though than they used to be . .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wasn't on the scene 8 years ago but I think it all comes down to how much effort you put in, due to other commitments we realistically can get out to a club 3 times a year or so and that suits us just fine. If we were happy to do private meets or meets every weekend I have no doubt that fab and the swinging scene would still meet our needs/desires

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By *LUKCouple
over a year ago

Loughborough

We've been at it around 10 years and haven't noticed any real difference other than the clubs are a lot better than back then.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've been doing this for about 14 years now and I've noticed a massive change

Clubs seem to be more of a social event now days, I've spoken to so many couples in clubs who don't play but just attend clubs because it makes them feel naughty to have a night out in a swingers club

I'm not calling them for that by the way, it makes no difference to me who does what, we all go to clubs for our own reason and if people just want to socialise that's fine, but going back 14 year ago when I first started using clubs you never saw that, everybody seems to play back then, there was be big group sessions in every room

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By *xploringThisWorldMan
over a year ago

collier row

I think in the past people who were swingers were honestly into sex with any kind/type of person. They truly were in it for the wild random sex.

Now people just use swinging to fulfil a highly defined and narrow fetish.

I think most people just treat it as a way to get copies of their biggest fancy every week.

Im guessing its not real swinging anymore as it was in the old sense.. .

This is after speaking to numerous swingers in their 50s+

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By *olden_Road_to_SamarkandMan
over a year ago

North Wessex Downs

Absolutely YES! Not for the better I think - the internet has opend up the 'scene' considerably...it's a little less friendly and a little more predatory to say the least. People seem to go out there with a 'shopping list', rather than just having fun exploring

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By *herbert fountainWoman
over a year ago

Hanley

I think there are a lot more people in the scene nowadays. Especially single men. That means people have more choice of playmates and therefore become more selective.

It would be impossible for a woman or a couple to meet with every guy that messages. So they have become selective. It's the same in a club. It would be impossible for me to play with everyone that wants to play with me when I go to a club. So I have to say no to quite a few. Does this make me stuck up or entitled?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think there are a lot more people in the scene nowadays. Especially single men. That means people have more choice of playmates and therefore become more selective.

Not at all it gives you the ability to play with those you want to play with and not just making do with whomever is there and as far as i can see that can only be a good thing personally id feel distraught if i found out after the fact a woman had played with me because she felt she had to

Not stuck up, not entitled its your body and you should be able to choose freely who gets to play with you

Mr x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think in the past people who were swingers were honestly into sex with any kind/type of person. They truly were in it for the wild random sex.

Now people just use swinging to fulfil a highly defined and narrow fetish.

I think most people just treat it as a way to get copies of their biggest fancy every week.

Im guessing its not real swinging anymore as it was in the old sense.. .

This is after speaking to numerous swingers in their 50s+

I think real swinging still exists, but in the same way as it has always been, it's a small niche who enjoy that. We've gone out of our way to find like minded couples to party with, and like minded single men who understand the dynamics of playing with swinging couples.

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"i think theres just more people enjoying it -

Could be ego? l think a lot of average looking girls do this stuff and get more attention and the head swells. Just a theory."

You can always tell the ones with the ego's their the ones who go bat shit crazy when you turn them down

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By *eakcoupleCouple
over a year ago

peak district

We have been doing it for 12 years and it's still a lovely free-for-all with the people we play with!

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

Only been in the 'scene' for 6 years. However, I've had a few discussions with "older" swingers and they tell me that parties used to be a lot more sex than now in the sense that (literally) everybody fucked everybody instead of a lot more convo and less fucking now. Not sure which is better or worse.

However they also tell me that we are much more promiscuous now than, say, 25 years ago, and casual sex is way more common. Thank goodness for that !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Having only been in the scene for just over 2 years we've not seen a massive change, sites like this have changed the scene in generally a positive way, easier to make contact with people, more choice for events, more information etc etc it's also created a culture of swinging dabblers, social butterfly's and forum posters, which all adds to the diversity of swinging

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have been swingling lol for over ten years and have seen more single women on the scene. Still get inundated with messages so yes ladies can pick and choose who they wish to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think in the past people who were swingers were honestly into sex with any kind/type of person. They truly were in it for the wild random sex.

Now people just use swinging to fulfil a highly defined and narrow fetish.

I think most people just treat it as a way to get copies of their biggest fancy every week.

Im guessing its not real swinging anymore as it was in the old sense.. .

This is after speaking to numerous swingers in their 50s+

This is not a criticism so please do not take it that way.

What do you mean by "real swinging?"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think in the past people who were swingers were honestly into sex with any kind/type of person. They truly were in it for the wild random sex.

Now people just use swinging to fulfil a highly defined and narrow fetish.

I think most people just treat it as a way to get copies of their biggest fancy every week.

Im guessing its not real swinging anymore as it was in the old sense.. .

This is after speaking to numerous swingers in their 50s+

This is not a criticism so please do not take it that way.

What do you mean by "real swinging?""

You cant have swinging without the single lads and lasses for threesomes etc x "real swinging" is interpreted by different people unless you are the judgy swinging police x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The interracial scene arose from the great number who only wanted to play and mix with white people. Everyone knows what the play is. Therefore it is a change for the good.

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By *all and ChainWoman
over a year ago

Truro

Yes, it's changed, *massively* but then so have the other scenes such as BDSM etc over the last 20 / 30 years.

But then again the internet changed everything, you could equally pick avid film buffs, nearly 40 years ago we travelled to London to see Star Wars, and again to see Life of Brian, no choice in the matter, so unless you were dedicated enough to take a whole day out of your life and travel up by car / bike / coach / train, you did not partake.

Now, just log into one of the many movie streaming services, we can be talking about a movie and 15 minutes later I have downloaded the whole thing in blu ray quality to watch at leisure.

So what you would expect to happen happens, and suddenly just like "teh www" suddenly got filled with AOL'ers ("me too" was their contribution) the swinging / BDSM / etc scenes are filled with people doing it electronically at basically zero effort or cost to themselves.

From there you can decide whether this means there are now 10,000x as many possible hook ups, or the worthwhile hookups and now hidden like needles in haystacks.

So yeah, it'[s changed, and it's changed so far that the only thing the new scene has in common with the old scene is the name it is known by.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just wish that there was less stigma attached to the different scenes and that there was more openness without fear of being judged x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

We were talking to several couples at the weekend and every woman of the couples said that they won't allow there partner to play at all some wouldn't even let there partner in the same room. That never used to happen years ago. If that is a mutual thing between them then that's fine of course but we got the feeling that was not the case

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wish that there was less stigma attached to the different scenes and that there was more openness without fear of being judged x"

Good point, many people in the scene can be very judgemental and closed minded, just like people in general....

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I just wish that there was less stigma attached to the different scenes and that there was more openness without fear of being judged x

Good point, many people in the scene can be very judgemental and closed minded, just like people in general...."
we weren't being judgemental

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I just wish that there was less stigma attached to the different scenes and that there was more openness without fear of being judged x

Good point, many people in the scene can be very judgemental and closed minded, just like people in general....we weren't being judgemental "

We didn't say you were and actually have witnessed your opening statement numerous times, hence our strap line x

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