FabSwingers.com forum: Being cast into the wilderness

By *ohnnybravo1972 OP Man
over a year ago

Sunderland

I've always had a pretty vanilla life until last year, when I met the woman of my dreams. Not only was she super sexy - there was practically nothing she didn't enjoy - but she was also actively bi and swinging.

We joined fab as a couple, and spent an amazing 6 months exploring every fetish possible, until things went south and we split up.

The problem I have now is that once you've been handed the key to the sweet shop, peering through the window just isn't enough anymore, so I've found myself cast into the sexual wilderness.

I've met a few ladies, both in the flesh and on regular dating sites, but all have been put off once we get round to discussing kinks.

I don't have the bottle to attend meets or club nights on my own, so the question is how on earth does one find someone who's into the same things and wants a relationship rather than just kinky fun?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've always had a pretty vanilla life until last year, when I met the woman of my dreams. Not only was she super sexy - there was practically nothing she didn't enjoy - but she was also actively bi and swinging.

We joined fab as a couple, and spent an amazing 6 months exploring every fetish possible, until things went south and we split up.

The problem I have now is that once you've been handed the key to the sweet shop, peering through the window just isn't enough anymore, so I've found myself cast into the sexual wilderness.

I've met a few ladies, both in the flesh and on regular dating sites, but all have been put off once we get round to discussing kinks.

I don't have the bottle to attend meets or club nights on my own, so the question is how on earth does one find someone who's into the same things and wants a relationship rather than just kinky fun? "

You could try standing outside her window with a boom box and singing in order to get her back?

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By *ohnnybravo1972 OP Man
over a year ago

Sunderland

You've never heard my singing

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know what you mean, having been kinky since I started having sex it can be bloody difficult, I've lied to myself in the past and said I'm happy to leave kink out completely but it just isn't true. The odd vanilla hit here and there is fine but I couldn't always do it, fetlife have loads of meets and events on, I know what you mean about being to nervous to go alone! I've still not managed it yet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clubs are probably your best answer I m afraid

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By *ohnnybravo1972 OP Man
over a year ago

Sunderland

There's no way I could go to a club alone though. I'm too self conscious. I'd be paying just to wander about and go home alone. Plus in my experience everyone in clubs is either in a couple, on a pre arranged meet, or just looking for fun. I've never met any single women looking for a bf there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We joined fab as a couple, and spent an amazing 6 months exploring every fetish possible, until things went south and we split up.

The problem I have now is that once you've been handed the key to the sweet shop, peering through the window just isn't enough anymore, so I've found myself cast into the sexual wilderness.

I've met a few ladies, both in the flesh and on regular dating sites, but all have been put off once we get round to discussing kinks.

find some bottle and go to a club , we know of a few cples that have met at clubs,

it wasn't planned it just happened for them , if your not there it wont just happen for you, once your at a club enjoy yourself whilst waiting for the right one to cum along

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"There's no way I could go to a club alone though. I'm too self conscious. I'd be paying just to wander about and go home alone. Plus in my experience everyone in clubs is either in a couple, on a pre arranged meet, or just looking for fun. I've never met any single women looking for a bf there."

Hire an escort to attend a club with you and then claim she is your sister when you chat to women so they know you are actually available? Seriously, clubs are going to be your best bet for this mission. That and mailing thousands on women a day on here with your offer.

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

If it's kink as in BDSM/Fetish you're looking for, or even of it's not, why not find out about local munches or swingers socials, which are usually held in backrooms of pubs and similar, are purely social gatherings (so no pressure or expectations of playing etc) for likeminded people. Went to a munch years ago in central London and was a good mix of couples, singles of both sexes etc. and just nice to be able to sit and chat openly and honestly about your kinks without feeling odd.

A good way to get to know people who might have the same interests as you without the pressure and nerves associated with a club visit.

Mr G

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"If it's kink as in BDSM/Fetish you're looking for, or even of it's not, why not find out about local munches or swingers socials, which are usually held in backrooms of pubs and similar, are purely social gatherings (so no pressure or expectations of playing etc) for likeminded people. Went to a munch years ago in central London and was a good mix of couples, singles of both sexes etc. and just nice to be able to sit and chat openly and honestly about your kinks without feeling odd.

A good way to get to know people who might have the same interests as you without the pressure and nerves associated with a club visit.

Mr G"

this is the answer op your just going to have to man up and put yourself out there but I may add your reluctance to do this may be a bit of dom drop because you lost your playmate .

Its real just like sub drop is and can manifest itself when you lose your playmate not only after a meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why can't you just communicate your desire/need for kink when dating, either in person or online?

Sure, some will be put off (but those wouldn't have satisfied you long term anyway) but those that share your views won't be.

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By *ust RachelTV/TS
over a year ago

Horsham

We joined fab as a couple, and spent an amazing 6 months exploring every fetish possible, until things went south and we split up.

The problem I have now is that once you've been handed the key to the sweet shop, peering through the window just isn't enough anymore, so I've found myself cast into the sexual wilderness.

I've met a few ladies, both in the flesh and on regular dating sites, but all have been put off once we get round to discussing kinks.

I don't have the bottle to attend meets or club nights on my own, so the question is how on earth does one find someone who's into the same things and wants a relationship rather

than just kinky fun? "

You might find them on the meets page, after you post a meet

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By *iSTARessWoman
over a year ago

London

Get yourself to a munch.

I'm in a similar boat myself. Once folk realise I'm a Domme and swinger, they either want me to fulfil their kinks or run for the hills

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Do they do like a dating night for the non vanilla....not sure if they do it not but you could set up a social event if they don't x

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