FabSwingers.com forum: Single guys misunderstood?!?!

By *iverpool 2 OP Couple
over a year ago

Liverpool

we recently returned to our favourite club after not being free to play out of a weekend for a good few months, the club was pretty busy for a normal Saturday night, lots of hot couples in, a few single girls and guys, we got talking to a few couples we knew and decided to dress down.

As we were heading up we noticed 2 guys following us, one proceeded to grunt and breath heavily as A was getting changed, the other started to complain to us that the club was shit, there weren't enough girls and he would have had a better night at his local pub...

Now we don't play with single guys but these 2 were a poor advert for genuine respectful guys, have they lost the art of conversation or do they expect clubs to have girls there willing to play because they paid the entrance fee?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Unfortunately some of us think that having a penis and willing to give it to you, is a favour they are doing to you.

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By *iverpool 2 OP Couple
over a year ago

Liverpool

"Unfortunately some of us think that having a penis and willing to give it to you, is a favour they are doing to you.

I've been a single guy in a club and understand the bad rep we get, these 2 just done nothing to get involved in any way shape or form, both expected sex on tap and if I'm honest both were the wrong side of 50 and not seen a gym in years!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately some of us think that having a penis and willing to give it to you, is a favour they are doing to you.

The venue of easy access to porn doesn't help them to understand that they need more than having a cock to be able to have sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I attend a club in derby. As a single bloke I find them embarrassing and cringe at some of them. The things they say to fems no wonder they get told to feckoff.

A bath/shower wouldn't go a miss either

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By *GHertsCouple
over a year ago

North Herts

Unfortunately see that a lot - single guys who "prowl" around the club, not making any effort to talk to anyone, they then position themselves in the hot tub or wherever and stare intently without making any kind of effort to chat, communicate or anything. They're also invariably wanking too!!

Similarly they come and stand far too close in the play areas staring and wanking again.

Does make me wonder why they bother to pay the entrance fee if they're not going to make an effort, unless of course they just view the whole experience as a live sex show.

Mr G

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I attend a club in derby. As a single bloke I find them embarrassing and cringe at some of them. The things they say to fems no wonder they get told to feckoff.

A bath/shower wouldn't go a miss either"

Minging. Imagine not getting washed propley when you're hoping for a meet. Mind boggles

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By *all and ChainWoman
over a year ago

Truro

I/we have said this a million times.

If you go to a shop every day and the change is always wrong, but you win some you lose some, overall it more or less averages out, then the shop can't be bothered to hire staff that can add up, but does take the time to hire staff that don't steal.

If you go to a shop every day and the change is always wrong, and always the error is in the shopkeepers favour, then it isn't a mistake, it is POLICY.

If you go to a pub every day and there is always at least one d*unken twat who wants to tell you what a good friend you are and life hasn't been the same since he divorced the dog and sold the wife, it's POLICY to let them in, for the money they spend.

If you go to a club and the assholes (***of either sex***) are anything other than a once in a blue moon ocurrence, then it is POLICY.

Either stop patronising these places with your money, or stop complaining to everyone else and not complaining to the management, who are the only ones to set POLICY.

If a restaurant has a cockroach problem you don't blame the bloody cockroaches, they are being true to their nature, you blame the bloody management and hit them where it hurts by never giving them (or anyone on the management team) any of your money ever again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This is one of the reasons im a little.nervous of going on my own!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

seems to be a common theme on threads so i guess to a degree you may be right OP

i work in a club and can deffo say our most successful single guys are those who are willing to give cpls n ladies the space they need to settle in rather than play follow anyone who moves i might get some and who have mastered the art of pleasant conversation and are not phased or put out by a no thank you if a cpl or lady is not interested and we all know manners maketh the man

old saying but true you have to put yourself in to win but your approach needs to be friendly yet non invasive or pushy

Swinging is more about your social skills than SOME realize its not a free sex market full of nymphos beggin for it and an entrance fee is just that it does not come with a you will play guarantee that ball is in your court and is reflected by how you carry yourself as a gentleman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have never been to a club as tbh a little scared. I am able to make conversation and chat with people quite openly but the thought of single men walking about banging one out didn't really appeal to me.

I guess that why I have never been x

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By *iverpool 2 OP Couple
over a year ago

Liverpool

Best advice I could give any single guy who is nervous about going to a club for the forst time is this...

Get any idea out of your heads that because you have paid to get in you will be guaranteed a shag, look at it as trying a new bar/pub for the first time, go socialise, try and talk to people don't just sit looking at the floor, nobody will approach you feel your body language is negative.

We never ever go to a club expecting to play, we've been on lots of occasions were we've gone into a room on our own and played or put a show on x

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West

They do have a bad rep but there are some great ones out there but it's the grunters, heavy breathers and well dirty mack brigade (I don't think they are true swingers just want sex) that ruin it for the genuine ones.

As a single man if you look quietly confident , don't stare but maybe a passing look, a confident relevant observation (not Pervy) and get about your business without being desperate then people more interested. There are some clubs where the single pest men follow you around and it's horrible.

In one club the other week

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By *iverpool 2 OP Couple
over a year ago

Liverpool

"They do have a bad rep but there are some great ones out there but it's the grunters, heavy breathers and well dirty mack brigade (I don't think they are true swingers just want sex) that ruin it for the genuine ones.

In one club the other week

Single guys do get a bad rep, we've had words with couples who the male part of the couple think it's acceptable to start grabbing and touching A when we've been playing without asking

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By *100Man
over a year ago

Essex

"Best advice I could give any single guy who is nervous about going to a club for the forst time is this...

We never ever go to a club expecting to play, we've been on lots of occasions were we've gone into a room on our own and played or put a show on x"

I have never tried a club before but hope to one day thanks for the advice.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've seen male part of couples acting like lose canons ignoring all the etiquette rules..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately some of us think that having a penis and willing to give it to you, is a favour they are doing to you.

Oh heavens I'm the wrong side of 50 and have never seen a gym at all (except for physio) so i clearly have no hope of meets

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By *andsonjohnMan
over a year ago

in the eye of the storm

"we recently returned to our favourite club after not being free to play out of a weekend for a good few months, the club was pretty busy for a normal Saturday night, lots of hot couples in, a few single girls and guys, we got talking to a few couples we knew and decided to dress down.

having been privileged to hear a fair few conversation regarding clubs from single guys looking to go to one.i can say from what I've over heard yes they do assume the entrance fee guarantees some sort of sexual encounter and trust me on this they have a very low opinion of the couples and woman who attend which of coarse there more than happy to keep to themselves as long as they think by doing so the may get sex of some sort .

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West

In one club the other week

Single guys do get a bad rep, we've had words with couples who the male part of the couple think it's acceptable to start grabbing and touching A when we've been playing without asking"

Yes too true it isn't just the single guys, asking is always politeness whether couple or single

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By *iverpool 2 OP Couple
over a year ago

Liverpool

In one club the other week

Single guys do get a bad rep, we've had words with couples who the male part of the couple think it's acceptable to start grabbing and touching A when we've been playing without asking

Yes too true it isn't just the single guys, asking is always politeness whether couple or single

We always ask, it's simple etiquette and manners, we were involved in a 8 person orgy on the particular night, lots of filthy fun was had but everyone stool to the rules and etiquette, had lots of people watching and playing etc

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West

In one club the other week

Single guys do get a bad rep, we've had words with couples who the male part of the couple think it's acceptable to start grabbing and touching A when we've been playing without asking

Yes too true it isn't just the single guys, asking is always politeness whether couple or single

Because people are playing in an open area doesnt mean its free for all, hopefully they learn for next time in situation like that! Bet you got the club rocking with an 8 person orgy! Quite a sight to behold!

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By *avewestcumbriaMan
over a year ago

Whitehaven

I've always fancied going to a club but to be honest have been scared off by the impression single guys appear to give.

Firstly I would now be so paranoid about looking like a grunting freak, I'd probably end up looking just as weird in trying so hard to look normal. Lol.

I also think I may be wasting my money as the bad rep given has tarred us all with that brush such that I'd struggle to get into any decent chat.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think all single guys behave this way.

I've only been to a club once and have to say the single guys we chatted too were charming.

however I can understand why some behave this way it's no different to single guys on here to be honest.

Always one or two bad cherries in the basket

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

From our experience of clubs, the key for solo blokes is to just be polite. Glance, don't stare if you're in social spaces among pretty people.

Don't jam into play room doorways with all the other frame-hangers trying to catch a glimpse of some action.

If you see someone you like the look of, make a couple of polite, friendly comments about something you've noticed about them and then move on. They'll probably peg you as a nice one and may add you to their 'maybe' list. At our last club visit, a guy complimented steph on her necklace saying it showed off her elegant neck really well. He gave a friendly smile and wished us a good evening. We don't want to play with guys but he stood out as a good candidate if we had.

If you're in an open play room watching, keep to yourself and look approachable. Look like you're enjoying yourself and try and make eye contact if the players are looking around. Positive comments are usually welcome, just don't be weird about it (thank you for letting me watch - you guys look amazing!) Again - don't stare and try to minimise the heavy breathing. A cheeky play with yourself is fine but try and be discreet about it. Seeing a guy with a hand under his towel can be a turn on as he watches you - red faced and furiously pumping away mere inches from your head: not so much. If lots of other guys are in the same room watching, move on. It's not a zoo.

Overall just don't be weird. Or rude. Relax and take in the experience

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By *eavenscentitCouple
over a year ago

barnstaple

"Unfortunately some of us think that having a penis and willing to give it to you, is a favour they are doing to you.

Lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

this thread has sparked an idea in my ikkle head still needs work but could turn out to be interesting will post when it reads right n had further input thanks guys

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West

"I've always fancied going to a club but to be honest have been scared off by the impression single guys appear to give.

Firstly I would now be so paranoid about looking like a grunting freak, I'd probably end up looking just as weird in trying so hard to look normal. Lol.

I also think I may be wasting my money as the bad rep given has tarred us all with that brush such that I'd struggle to get into any decent chat."

Really dont be put off going, there is some good advice here for what not to do but also what TO do. Just never go thinking sex is a guarantee as it isnt, you dont know who is going to be there or what they want until you are there. Good luck

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West

"this thread has sparked an idea in my ikkle head still needs work but could turn out to be interesting will post when it reads right n had further input thanks guys

sounds interesting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"As we were heading up we noticed 2 guys following us, one proceeded to grunt and breath heavily as A was getting changed, the other started to complain to us that the club was shit, there weren't enough girls and he would have had a better night at his local pub..."

Had the same experience at my old local club. It was a really quiet night - only my second visit - and there was only the 'core crowd' in attendance.

However, while I had great craic chatting to the regulars, I remember a whiny old git who followed me around the entire evening moaning about how 'shit' it was, how there weren't any single women there, and what a waste of money it was.

Well, if you're not going to actually bother talking to the other attendees, or establish connections within the scene, what else do you expect to happen?

There's nothing wrong with taking time to just sit on the sidelines and watch what's going on - in fact, if you're a newbie to the scene, that's a good way to get a feel of the place - but at least make an effort to interact with other people...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I disagree with your use of the phrase 'true swingers.' Just because you just want sex, it doesn't mean that you're not a 'genuine swinger.'

Plenty of users on here - men, women, trans, couples - advertise the fact that they're only out for NSA meets or quick hook-ups. They have just as much a right to be here as anyone else.

That said, I do agree that clubs are not really the place to start if you're principally looking for sex. One of the first pieces of advice I was given when attending my old local club for the first time was 'don't expect to play.'

Just because you've shelled out the entrance fee, it doesn't entitle you to sex on demand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

single male bashing again theres always going to be one or two just like theres always a couple that don't like being told no or d*unk women making fools of themselves or as someone else said the worse men are those of couples but at the end of the day its a club nobody has been hand picked to suit you ??

also about single guys I think they get sold on the club idear by those who tell them its the best way to go ... clubs will get you meets just look at the forums and how many people advise guys to go to clubs and some clubs advertise the fact that there single women there on that night so don't let the women down ?? mmmmm sounds like a free for all don't it ???

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By *urpurseCouple
over a year ago

North West

I disagree with your use of the phrase 'true swingers.' Just because you just want sex, it doesn't mean that you're not a 'genuine swinger.'

Plenty of users on here - men, women, trans, couples - advertise the fact that they're only out for NSA meets or quick hook-ups. They have just as much a right to be here as anyone else.

Just because you've shelled out the entrance fee, it doesn't entitle you to sex on demand."

Fair point i guess what i mean is something around some single men dont enter into the spirit of swinging, more than them not being true swingers........it cant be that black and white really you are right, ie swinger or non swinger! I get the feeling they think that women are easy rather than liberated, and if they think the former there is an expectation that anyone will do if you catch my drift? Therefore if you dont respect what swinging is ie not just free sex, think one person on this thread mentioned that some men he spoke to think very low of the couples and women that go, but similarly I have seen single men can be treated badly in clubs by some people because a few tarnish their reputation.

On one night in a club recently the variety of single men and the way they acted was so profoundly different. One asked to squeeze my arse as he grunted, one wafted his dick near my bum, and another quietly confidently made a flirty astute observation about me, guess which one we had a chat with?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the advice is to visit clubs and socialise, meet people and possibly get verified as a decent single guy. No one gives advice that should lead any single guy to think if he visits a club he will get or can expect sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think the advice is to visit clubs and socialise, meet people and possibly get verified as a decent single guy. No one gives advice that should lead any single guy to think if he visits a club he will get or can expect sex."

that's what the advice should be but its not always

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By *rx1Couple
over a year ago

Near Okehampton.

Just go with an open mind, dress nice and have a drink, smile and engage with others.

Avoid the Couples that look like they are up their own backsides (as they will be the ones that will complain if they have too many advances or not enough)

We have never had any issues with Single Guys, except the ones that don't ask to join us or stand about 6" away from my face just Wanking

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just go with an open mind, dress nice and have a drink, smile and engage with others.

Avoid the Couples that look like they are up their own backsides (as they will be the ones that will complain if they have too many advances or not enough)

We have never had any issues with Single Guys, except the ones that don't ask to join us or stand about 6" away from my face just Wanking

very good advice

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