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"Being raped " Did the shit house ever get punished? | |||
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"Mine isn't that bad, just awkward... First time with my last boyfriend, we were both wankered and we tried really hard to do it in doggy. I ended up face planting the bed while telling him not to stick it in my arse. Then he got up, went to the loo, lost the condom on his way (he thinks he put it in the toilet but he's still not sure!) and then we just gave up." ha haha my first time with my ex she was riding me and I was a little too vigorous and she bashed he head of the wall...left a massive lump lol | |||
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed " i had that with a guy while i was rimming it | |||
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"Being raped Did the shit house ever get punished? " No he died in a car crash before it went to court. No I divorced him. | |||
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed i had that with a guy while i was rimming it " think that's worse than mine lol | |||
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed i had that with a guy while i was rimming it " | |||
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed i had that with a guy while i was rimming it think that's worse than mine lol" he just acted like it didnt happen dirty bastard | |||
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed i had that with a guy while i was rimming it think that's worse than mine lol he just acted like it didnt happen dirty bastard " haha was he from fab? I would of been pretty embarrassed | |||
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed i had that with a guy while i was rimming it think that's worse than mine lol he just acted like it didnt happen dirty bastard haha was he from fab? I would of been pretty embarrassed " not sure if hes on fab or not, he was a guy id met in a club | |||
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"A boyfriend called me by another woman's name mid shag once. I turned into the Incredible Hulk and literally threw him off me and then I had a right hissy fit. " I had a real problem doing this in my earlier life with on gf x needless to say it didn't last lol x it just kept happening | |||
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed i had that with a guy while i was rimming it " Haha me too! He apologised and then we both laughed, then I carried on | |||
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"A boyfriend called me by another woman's name mid shag once. I turned into the Incredible Hulk and literally threw him off me and then I had a right hissy fit. " Ooops!!! I called my hubby the wrong name once.. I called him my ex FB's name (he's on here and thought it was hilarious) it was many years ago but my hubby was not impressed and I'm not sure he's forgiven me yet!!! | |||
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed i had that with a guy while i was rimming it think that's worse than mine lol he just acted like it didnt happen dirty bastard " Good man, no point in making an issue out of it, | |||
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"First time (him), two thrusts and BOOM, Lucky we had milk and bread delivered, he walked in downstairs at that moment. Great excuse to "find out what was happening". Response time was good and things ended, well with no embarrassment. Could have kissed the bread man!!!" I've read this 3 times and I have no idea what the story is. Is this a coded message? | |||
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"Playing with a lady in a club stood up at the bar and she just drop though she died way she feel could see myself in coronar court tryon to explain that away too my friends ??" Now just calm down and say it slowly... | |||
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed i had that with a guy while i was rimming it " I'm sorry. Can I make it up to you somehow???? | |||
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"The bed broke in the hotel,it just kind of collapsed underneath us and i was buried and he had to pull me out ,awful " You got buried under something that collapsed underneath you? | |||
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"First time (him), two thrusts and BOOM, Lucky we had milk and bread delivered, he walked in downstairs at that moment. Great excuse to "find out what was happening". Response time was good and things ended, well with no embarrassment. Could have kissed the bread man!!! I've read this 3 times and I have no idea what the story is. Is this a coded message?" Same here, was it a scene in a Carry on film? | |||
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"Or... (from the previous) with the ex, plastic sheet down, laid there waiting, she was in a rush to get the oil, knocked the door of the hingers in a rush, (wasn't hung very well) it hit me above the eye, two hours in hospital having my eyebrow stitched, still have the scar... Never forgave the bitch.... Cost me a fortune " Plastic sheet down?? Oil? door of the hinges (not very well hung , narf narf) that was definitely in a Carry On film | |||
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"Ah to name only a few recent mishaps: Bunk beds Same lingerie as his girlfriend Twins Saggy ballsack ...meh. " We need more information, are they all from the same experience ? | |||
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"Getting too d*unk and being sick mid-screw in a club. Ugh." You or him? | |||
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"Getting too d*unk and being sick mid-screw in a club. Ugh. You or him? " Me. First ever club, too much Dutch courage! Classy. | |||
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"Playing with a lady in a club stood up at the bar and she just drop though she died way she feel could see myself in coronar court tryon to explain that away too my friends ??" Translation? | |||
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"Playing with a lady in a club stood up at the bar and she just drop though she died way she feel could see myself in coronar court tryon to explain that away too my friends ?? Now just calm down and say it slowly..." Having sex standing at the bar with the lady and she dropped to the floor. By the way she fell he thought she had died and was worried he would have to explain it to a court and his friends. | |||
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"The bed broke in the hotel,it just kind of collapsed underneath us and i was buried and he had to pull me out ,awful You got buried under something that collapsed underneath you? " Possibly the bed had slats and she fell through. Or it tipped on its side and she ended up underneath it. | |||
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"mine was giving oral to a girl and she farted in my face...I was ok about it but she freaked out and was so embarrassed " Omg I had this happen at chams once. It leaves u wondering okaaaay how do I react now lol | |||
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"First time (him), two thrusts and BOOM, Lucky we had milk and bread delivered, he walked in downstairs at that moment. Great excuse to "find out what was happening". Response time was good and things ended, well with no embarrassment. Could have kissed the bread man!!! I've read this 3 times and I have no idea what the story is. Is this a coded message?" Mr Manny only lasted for 3 strokes before cumming. The rather uncomfortable situation was broken by the bread man bringing in his goods into the kitchen downstairs. So she used the bread man's arrival to diffuse the situation and hide her disappointment with Mr Manny's performance.... Maybe she should've dealt with the bread man in more ways than one! Lol | |||
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"First time (him), two thrusts and BOOM, Lucky we had milk and bread delivered, he walked in downstairs at that moment. Great excuse to "find out what was happening". Response time was good and things ended, well with no embarrassment. Could have kissed the bread man!!! I've read this 3 times and I have no idea what the story is. Is this a coded message? Mr Manny only lasted for 3 strokes before cumming. The rather uncomfortable situation was broken by the bread man bringing in his goods into the kitchen downstairs. So she used the bread man's arrival to diffuse the situation and hide her disappointment with Mr Manny's performance.... Maybe she should've dealt with the bread man in more ways than one! Lol " Sorry, my bad. Mr Manny didn't last for three strokes. According to her, it was two. | |||
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"The bed broke in the hotel,it just kind of collapsed underneath us and i was buried and he had to pull me out ,awful You got buried under something that collapsed underneath you? Possibly the bed had slats and she fell through. Or it tipped on its side and she ended up underneath it." No lol what i meant was i went through the bed and pulled the duvet with me | |||
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner. Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby" " I know i shouldn't laugh at this but i can just imagine you're reaction | |||
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner. Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby" I know i shouldn't laugh at this but i can just imagine you're reaction " I think my exact words were "EHHHHH are you fucking kidding me?!" | |||
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner. Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby" I know i shouldn't laugh at this but i can just imagine you're reaction I think my exact words were "EHHHHH are you fucking kidding me?!" " Tbh thats much tamer than i expected. Thought you might have stabbed him with a unicorn horn | |||
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"Playing with a lady in a club stood up at the bar and she just drop though she died way she feel could see myself in coronar court tryon to explain that away too my friends ?? Now just calm down and say it slowly... Having sex standing at the bar " In a sex club or regular club? | |||
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"I got off with the landlady of a pub in Cambridge and stayed back for a "lock in". Went up to her room and started the business, I'm on top and suddenly realised I'm being rimmed at the same time. By her alsatian. I manfully carried on while shouting 'Fuck off Rex" or something similar. Funny looking back. Caught in bed by a less than amused hubby once too. Not so amusing." *deceased* | |||
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"First time (him), two thrusts and BOOM, Lucky we had milk and bread delivered, he walked in downstairs at that moment. Great excuse to "find out what was happening". Response time was good and things ended, well with no embarrassment. Could have kissed the bread man!!! I've read this 3 times and I have no idea what the story is. Is this a coded message? Mr Manny only lasted for 3 strokes before cumming. The rather uncomfortable situation was broken by the bread man bringing in his goods into the kitchen downstairs. So she used the bread man's arrival to diffuse the situation and hide her disappointment with Mr Manny's performance.... Maybe she should've dealt with the bread man in more ways than one! Lol " Alan Turing is alive! | |||
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"Getting a 69 and pooped on the guy's head, now it's called a 71 " Don't worry, I got this. | |||
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner. Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby" " Haha... Oh dear!!! I've actually have 2 men message me on here asking if they can get me pregnant!!!!! Bonkers!! | |||
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner. Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby" Haha... Oh dear!!! I've actually have 2 men message me on here asking if they can get me pregnant!!!!! Bonkers!! " Ha I think I got the same message!! I don't think they noticed I am 47 though!!!!! | |||
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"I was going down on a girl and got a mouthful of her particularly large bush and was sick on her minge " I would have made you lick it up | |||
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"I left here last time coz I'd started seeing someone I quite liked. Waited til the 4th date to have sex, despite both of us definitely wanting it sooner. Foreplay all goes well, the second I got on top of him he says "I don't really see the point in sex if you're not trying for a baby" Haha... Oh dear!!! I've actually have 2 men message me on here asking if they can get me pregnant!!!!! Bonkers!! Ha I think I got the same message!! I don't think they noticed I am 47 though!!!!! " There is obviously some kind of fetish need for mature mums!! I'm 41 ...some people?! [sighs] | |||
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