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The worst chat up lines ever?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Ok so what us the worst chat up line ever that you have either heard, used, or had directed towards you....... And most importantly did it work?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

my friend used to ask a lady in a club if she wanted to dance. if she said no then he would say "well i suppose a blow job is out of the question then"

Number of times that worked was surprising

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You remind me of my little toe.... why?

Because I will bang you all over my bedroom furniture.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You remind me of my little toe.... why?

Because I will bang you all over my bedroom furniture."

Hahaha

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By *aussageMan
over a year ago

Stalbridge

Hi, my name is Pinocchio sit on my face and I will tell you more.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Hi, my name is Pinocchio sit on my face and I will tell you more."

Hahahaa

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By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago

not far from you..

There's a party in my pants & your the only one who's invited"..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a party in my pants & your the only one who's invited".. "

That one worked right ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fat pengiun...... Sorry just wanted to say something that would break the ice ;0)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I remember a story about some post hysterectomy older woman chatting up a younger guy saying 'nursery has gone but the playground is still there'

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By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago

not far from you..


"There's a party in my pants & your the only one who's invited"..

That one worked right ? "

I said to the guy...there can be a party in your pants everyday,but you ain't getting this bitch on your dick. I think he was more embarrassed than I was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Received this from a guy a couple of years ago when I had my old profile.

Hey you want to bend me over and eat me like a Sunday roast.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"There's a party in my pants & your the only one who's invited"..

That one worked right ?

I said to the guy...there can be a party in your pants everyday,but you ain't getting this bitch on your dick. I think he was more embarrassed than I was "

Haha I can believe you said that with a very satisfied air

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By *igal17Man
over a year ago

Ayr SW Scotland

Does this cloth smell of chloroform to you?

Works well in the right circumstances.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/07/16 16:53:23]

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Does this cloth smell of chloroform to you?

Works well in the right circumstances. "

hahaha well I guess they could not knock you out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Ask her how many bones she has in her body and when she replies say would you like one more

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You remind me of my little toe.... why?

Because I will bang you all over my bedroom furniture."

I bet that worked for ya too huh??

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

a guy once said to me.

"if I was an astronaut the 1st place id visit is Uranus"

kind made me chuckle

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Beckon a lady over with one finger. When she comes over say " I made you come with one finger imagine what I can do with my whole body"

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Beckon a lady over with one finger. When she comes over say " I made you come with one finger imagine what I can do with my whole body""

Not only have Ii heard that one before but I also tried it once when I was a young lad....... And she said to me hmmmm ok but see that bouncer stood over there, well that's my fella and and he is a magician, if I beckon him over here he will make you disappear in no time at all out the fire exit....... Oof course my reply ( as I walked away all calm and collective in front of my mates acting not arsed ) was FUCKIN LESBIAN

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Does this cloth smell of chloroform to you?

Works well in the right circumstances. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You remind me of my little toe.... why?

Because I will bang you all over my bedroom furniture.

I bet that worked for ya too huh?? "

Never tried it. Maybe needs a field test

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy told me if you were a potato,I would mash you!I love mash potatoes ??! I was taken back by it!I thought was terrible!

Also I black guy told me I hope you like your men ,like you like your coffee dark and strong! I told him I don't like strong coffee and never been with a dark man!

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By *arksidesubCouple
over a year ago

not far from you..


"There's a party in my pants & your the only one who's invited"..

That one worked right ?

I said to the guy...there can be a party in your pants everyday,but you ain't getting this bitch on your dick. I think he was more embarrassed than I was

Haha I can believe you said that with a very satisfied air "

I did yes!..I was annoyed to be honest thinking "do I look that easy"..bless him he was only could have been in his early 20s x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Once got "awwwww your ickle ain't ya I like it your cute"

My response was " I'm definitely going to have to stop posting my cock on Web sites"

She laughed we danced and she got taken away by a 6 footer

Moral of the story girls normally like tall men hahah

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Never used this but i find it funny.

What winks and shags like a tiger . . . .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So. Fancy going halves on a bastard?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A guy sent me a message the other day which just said "I have a van with a mattress in the back" Oooh! Hold me back! X

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Used this in army when in Germany, have you got any English genes in you. ....,.......do you want some. Worked couple of times

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"A guy sent me a message the other day which just said "I have a van with a mattress in the back" Oooh! Hold me back! X"

Ahhh but was it a King size tho or single mattress?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A girlfriend of mine once said she wanted to ride me like a stolen bike. lol

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By *reygorCouple
over a year ago

birmingham

best .i said have you ever been fucked twice by a man twice your age?the rest is history look at our profile ha ha

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By *AC52Man
over a year ago

brackely

If you were my homework I'd slap you on my desk and do you all night.....

I know, that one is quite bad lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"You remind me of my little toe.... why?

Because I will bang you all over my bedroom furniture.

I bet that worked for ya too huh??

Never tried it. Maybe needs a field test"

Would definitely have worked on me it has to be said

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was once told his name was Fred flinstone,would u like to come and see my bed rock ...... fml REALLY!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"a guy once said to me.

I'll try that tonight. If I get a slap I'll blame you haha

"if I was an astronaut the 1st place id visit is Uranus"

kind made me chuckle"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wanna see a magic trick

Woman- yeah ok

By looking at my watch it tells me your wearing no underwear

Woman- actually i am

Ah shit my watch is an hour fast ;0)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Him: What's your favourite flower?

Me: not sure probably roses why?

Him: just I know what to put on your grave when I murder your pussy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Him: What's your favourite flower?

Me: not sure probably roses why?

Him: just I know what to put on your grave when I murder your pussy

"
flattering lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Are your legs made of Nutella? Cause i'd like to spread em

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By *workoutMan
over a year ago

Cradley Heath


"Wanna see a magic trick

Woman- yeah ok

By looking at my watch it tells me your wearing no underwear

Woman- actually i am

Ah shit my watch is an hour fast ;0)"

I actually like that one, I might use it on someone I'm seeing next week

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By *afftypeMan
over a year ago

Cardiff

Can I push your stool in sir

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"best .i said have you ever been fucked twice by a man twice your age?the rest is history look at our profile ha ha"

Good on you two. Id love an fb half my age.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wanna see a magic trick

Woman- yeah ok

By looking at my watch it tells me your wearing no underwear

Woman- actually i am

Ah shit my watch is an hour fast ;0)

I actually like that one, I might use it on someone I'm seeing next week "
haha keep us updated lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Wanna see a magic trick

Woman- yeah ok

By looking at my watch it tells me your wearing no underwear

Woman- actually i am

Ah shit my watch is an hour fast ;0)"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I remember a story about some post hysterectomy older woman chatting up a younger guy saying 'nursery has gone but the playground is still there'"

I'll have to remember that one lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Is your Dad a Green Grocer?

Coz you have a lovely set of melons!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

for when you are standing next to someone in a crowded bar

him - arrhhh

her confused?

him - you just stood on my dick...

used to work a treat at uni! (ok not really)

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By *ongRMan
over a year ago

leamington

One of my friends favourites is a short and sweet one

"I've got a cock and a knife and one of them is going in you"

It's disapointing how many times its worked for him too

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The old classic. ...

Is that a mirror in your pants?

Coz I can see myself in there later

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By *ustforyou1231Man
over a year ago

six bells

that is class!

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By *corpio67Man
over a year ago

hillingdon


"I remember a story about some post hysterectomy older woman chatting up a younger guy saying 'nursery has gone but the playground is still there'

I'll have to remember that one lol"

Don't knock it

I had a very good female friend with the same attitude and we had 6 years of weekly fun!

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By *layboi69Man
over a year ago

alfreton

Want to stroke my turtle and watch his head pop out

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