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"We've come across 2 types of single men on the swing scene. Those who are swingers at heart, and would be no different if they were enjoying the lifestyle with their partner. These guys respect the women and couples on the scene. They also have a greater understanding of the dynamics of playing with a couple, because it is something they would enjoy doing themselves if they had a partner. We try to avoid the other type - those who are using the swing scene as a stop gap in their life in order to get easy sex, but would never find it acceptable to share their own partner. We find these guys don't really get the sexual liberation that swingers enjoy, and have a tendency to look down on the husbands who do share there wives." Unfortunately we get a lot of messages from the second type you mention, though telling them that they have to suck cock like a wanton cock slut makes em run. That or our friends only pics 
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"We've come across 2 types of single men on the swing scene. Those who are swingers at heart, and would be no different if they were enjoying the lifestyle with their partner. These guys respect the women and couples on the scene. They also have a greater understanding of the dynamics of playing with a couple, because it is something they would enjoy doing themselves if they had a partner. We try to avoid the other type - those who are using the swing scene as a stop gap in their life in order to get easy sex, but would never find it acceptable to share their own partner. We find these guys don't really get the sexual liberation that swingers enjoy, and have a tendency to look down on the husbands who do share there wives." Very true. I agree totally  | |||
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"Just a cpl of points for forum discussion. I recently organised a mini GB at my place for a lady friend. However, some strange behaviour reared its head. 1. Several guys contacted wanting to come to my home, without a face pic, no contact number, and no means of verification. Expecting others to give full details of address and pics of the lady....WTF?? They also expected us to down load kik ( whatever that is) so they could get pics while remaining anonymous!! errr NO !! 2. Several other guys, married or with GF who state in conversation " oh I would never let another guy touch my Mrs" what double standards!! Play with my toys but you can't touch mine... Again WTF?? No wonder guys get a bad name!!" We get these two things ALL the time and they seem to get surprised when you tell them no thanks | |||
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"i am a married guy in a sexless marriage and i wish my wife would play but there is no chance due to health." OP doesn't mean you. 
Yeah a lot of guys see women as either one of 2 people, one is they're nice and aren't sexy, and the other is they're sexual people, and therefore worthless...sluts, slags, cum dumps. Pretty weird to lump all women into categories like that but they do. | |||
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But point 2 - can't see the problem, everyone has their preferences, some guys love to see their wife shared others don't. Just because they are happy to attend an event where a lady is willing to participate in a GB doesn't mean they should by default be happy for their other half to get shared. Some men go dogging and meet hot wives etc who are happy to play with them, does that also mean their wives should be out there dogging too?
So I can agree with 50% of your points but respectfully disagree with your second
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"We've come across 2 types of single men on the swing scene. Those who are swingers at heart, and would be no different if they were enjoying the lifestyle with their partner. These guys respect the women and couples on the scene. They also have a greater understanding of the dynamics of playing with a couple, because it is something they would enjoy doing themselves if they had a partner. We try to avoid the other type - those who are using the swing scene as a stop gap in their life in order to get easy sex, but would never find it acceptable to share their own partner. We find these guys don't really get the sexual liberation that swingers enjoy, and have a tendency to look down on the husbands who do share there wives." | |||
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"We've come across 2 types of single men on the swing scene. Those who are swingers at heart, and would be no different if they were enjoying the lifestyle with their partner. These guys respect the women and couples on the scene. They also have a greater understanding of the dynamics of playing with a couple, because it is something they would enjoy doing themselves if they had a partner. We try to avoid the other type - those who are using the swing scene as a stop gap in their life in order to get easy sex, but would never find it acceptable to share their own partner. We find these guys don't really get the sexual liberation that swingers enjoy, and have a tendency to look down on the husbands who do share there wives." Totally agree. I have found many.many guys fall into the latter category sadly! Trying to suss them out is the problem! | |||
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"i am a married guy in a sexless marriage and i wish my wife would play but there is no chance due to health. OP doesn't mean you.
Yeah a lot of guys see women as either one of 2 people, one is they're nice and aren't sexy, and the other is they're sexual people, and therefore worthless...sluts, slags, cum dumps. Pretty weird to lump all women into categories like that but they do."A lot of women on fab lump men into two categories, pretty, weird too! | |||
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"i am a married guy in a sexless marriage and i wish my wife would play but there is no chance due to health. OP doesn't mean you.
Yeah a lot of guys see women as either one of 2 people, one is they're nice and aren't sexy, and the other is they're sexual people, and therefore worthless...sluts, slags, cum dumps. Pretty weird to lump all women into categories like that but they do.
A lot of women on fab lump men into two categories, pretty, weird too!"I said a lot of men on here of that, not all men. It's enough for it to be a problem and for me to be able to point it out. Seriously don't star shit with me today, i'm not in the mood. | |||
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" A lot of women on fab lump men into two categories, pretty, weird too!" Categorisation per se isn't an issue... Category A = people I'd like to fuck Category B = people I don't want to fuck The problem arises when attempting to blame the potential inhabitants of both categories for not helping *me* in *my* classification of *them*. That's *my* job, not *theirs*. Just because they put me / us in Cat A or B does not mean the feeling is mutual. It's filtering out the mutual A's from everyone else without calling eveyrone else timewasting fake wannabes that is the issue.  | |||
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" A lot of women on fab lump men into two categories, pretty, weird too! Categorisation per se isn't an issue... Category A = people I'd like to fuck Category B = people I don't want to fuck The problem arises when attempting to blame the potential inhabitants of both categories for not helping *me* in *my* classification of *them*. That's *my* job, not *theirs*. Just because they put me / us in Cat A or B does not mean the feeling is mutual. It's filtering out the mutual A's from everyone else without calling eveyrone else timewasting fake wannabes that is the issue. "So elegantly put, how could l disagree with you, | |||
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"Just a cpl of points for forum discussion. I recently organised a mini GB at my place for a lady friend. However, some strange behaviour reared its head. 1. Several guys contacted wanting to come to my home, without a face pic, no contact number, and no means of verification. Expecting others to give full details of address and pics of the lady....WTF?? They also expected us to down load kik ( whatever that is) so they could get pics while remaining anonymous!! errr NO !! 2. Several other guys, married or with GF who state in conversation " oh I would never let another guy touch my Mrs" what double standards!! Play with my toys but you can't touch mine... Again WTF?? No wonder guys get a bad name!!" 2) Can it be that they treat their partners as persons, not toys, and the decision not to allow anyone near them was mutual? They are certainly cheating but this is a different story. | |||
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" 2) Can it be that they treat their partners as persons, not toys, and the decision not to allow anyone near them was mutual? They are certainly cheating but this is a different story." It's not "cheating" if the (female) partner does not herself wish to partake with those particular people. Nor is it "taking one for the team" Some couples do have an arrangement where one can play while the other takes a raincheck. | |||
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"Just a cpl of points for forum discussion. I recently organised a mini GB at my place for a lady friend. However, some strange behaviour reared its head. 1. Several guys contacted wanting to come to my home, without a face pic, no contact number, and no means of verification. Expecting others to give full details of address and pics of the lady....WTF?? They also expected us to down load kik ( whatever that is) so they could get pics while remaining anonymous!! errr NO !! 2. Several other guys, married or with GF who state in conversation " oh I would never let another guy touch my Mrs" what double standards!! Play with my toys but you can't touch mine... Again WTF?? No wonder guys get a bad name!!" Those bad single guys again... They always ruin it for us genuine guys.  | |||
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"Just a cpl of points for forum discussion. I recently organised a mini GB at my place for a lady friend. However, some strange behaviour reared its head. 1. Several guys contacted wanting to come to my home, without a face pic, no contact number, and no means of verification. Expecting others to give full details of address and pics of the lady....WTF?? They also expected us to down load kik ( whatever that is) so they could get pics while remaining anonymous!! errr NO !! 2. Several other guys, married or with GF who state in conversation " oh I would never let another guy touch my Mrs" what double standards!! Play with my toys but you can't touch mine... Again WTF?? No wonder guys get a bad name!! 2) Can it be that they treat their partners as persons, not toys, and the decision not to allow anyone near them was mutual? They are certainly cheating but this is a different story." What my concern is with guys who find it unacceptable for their own partners to behave like me, is whether these guys respect me for my sexual liberation, or whether I'm a toy to be used. We do find it a lot easier with single guys who would do the same thing with their own partners if they had partners. There just seems to be more respect and understanding. | |||
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"i am a married guy in a sexless marriage and i wish my wife would play but there is no chance due to health. OP doesn't mean you.
Yeah a lot of guys see women as either one of 2 people, one is they're nice and aren't sexy, and the other is they're sexual people, and therefore worthless...sluts, slags, cum dumps. Pretty weird to lump all women into categories like that but they do.
A lot of women on fab lump men into two categories, pretty, weird too!
I said a lot of men on here of that, not all men. It's enough for it to be a problem and for me to be able to point it out.
Seriously don't star shit with me today, i'm not in the mood."was going to reply something smart arsed as l have an automatic reaction to do whatever l am told not to do. I am really not bothered what other people think, however l believe debate should be conducted with good manners, so l would merely point out that your logic does not follow. I would also say that if you cannot stand to be contradicted politely and respond with hostility when contradicted, taking part in forums may not be an activity for which you suited. | |||
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"Just a cpl of points for forum discussion. I recently organised a mini GB at my place for a lady friend. However, some strange behaviour reared its head. 1. Several guys contacted wanting to come to my home, without a face pic, no contact number, and no means of verification. Expecting others to give full details of address and pics of the lady....WTF?? They also expected us to down load kik ( whatever that is) so they could get pics while remaining anonymous!! errr NO !! 2. Several other guys, married or with GF who state in conversation " oh I would never let another guy touch my Mrs" what double standards!! Play with my toys but you can't touch mine... Again WTF?? No wonder guys get a bad name!! 2) Can it be that they treat their partners as persons, not toys, and the decision not to allow anyone near them was mutual? They are certainly cheating but this is a different story." Real Curves, as always the voice of reason. | |||
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" 2) Can it be that they treat their partners as persons, not toys, and the decision not to allow anyone near them was mutual? They are certainly cheating but this is a different story. It's not "cheating" if the (female) partner does not herself wish to partake with those particular people. Nor is it "taking one for the team" Some couples do have an arrangement where one can play while the other takes a raincheck." It is if she does not know what he does when she is not looking. | |||
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" What my concern is with guys who find it unacceptable for their own partners to behave like me, is whether these guys respect me for my sexual liberation, or whether I'm a toy to be used. We do find it a lot easier with single guys who would do the same thing with their own partners if they had partners. There just seems to be more respect and understanding." It's a valid and interesting point, but you open a whole tin of worms with it. 1/ why should they treat you with the respect they would a partner, you have a partner, and are not offering that role, just NSA. 2/ Just NSA, or just NSA with people who think as you do, no strings attached, but conditions attached. 3/ Do people treat a rental the same as their own car? Not insulting the OP, but it's like the discussion you could have about two people. Male - "I love anal but my wife hates it" Female - "I love anal" So should the guy not have anal sex with the girl, because the girl is not his wife and she doesn't like it so why should he be able to do it with anyone else? Nota Bene, I have not said WHY the wife does not like it, she may find it disgusting, but be able to take a fist in her ass. Ultimately the OP can set any rules or tests they like for their meeets, I just find it slightly risible that a swinger is looking for so much respect that they are treated at least as equal as a potential playmate's partner. In the OP's case I'm sure the males in question do not see you as a suitable person to have babies and raise a family with, to share a mortgage with, to go on holiday with staying at the in-laws... why does it matter if they put their wife on a pedestal and treat you like a fucktoy? | |||
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" 2) Can it be that they treat their partners as persons, not toys, and the decision not to allow anyone near them was mutual? They are certainly cheating but this is a different story. It's not "cheating" if the (female) partner does not herself wish to partake with those particular people. Nor is it "taking one for the team" Some couples do have an arrangement where one can play while the other takes a raincheck. It is if she does not know what he does when she is not looking." Yes, and if he drinks and drives on the way to the meet that is illegal. The operative word here is IF We have no reason to assume that the female partner is unaware, only she can answer that question factually. | |||
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"We've come across 2 types of single men on the swing scene. Those who are swingers at heart, and would be no different if they were enjoying the lifestyle with their partner. These guys respect the women and couples on the scene. They also have a greater understanding of the dynamics of playing with a couple, because it is something they would enjoy doing themselves if they had a partner. We try to avoid the other type - those who are using the swing scene as a stop gap in their life in order to get easy sex, but would never find it acceptable to share their own partner. We find these guys don't really get the sexual liberation that swingers enjoy, and have a tendency to look down on the husbands who do share there wives." The thing is this site isn't just a swingers site and as such it has all aspects of sexual liberties. It makes it hard then when some generalisations are made. For me I won't meet couples or a lady from a couple either. I'll only meet single ladies. So I'm in a 3rd group and I'm sure there are other groups on here as well. | |||
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"i am a married guy in a sexless marriage and i wish my wife would play but there is no chance due to health." My FWB was in a sexless marriage when we first met, they are separated now. He is the first type mentioned, most of the others I have met are the second type. XXX | |||
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"We've come across 2 types of single men on the swing scene. Those who are swingers at heart, and would be no different if they were enjoying the lifestyle with their partner. These guys respect the women and couples on the scene. They also have a greater understanding of the dynamics of playing with a couple, because it is something they would enjoy doing themselves if they had a partner. We try to avoid the other type - those who are using the swing scene as a stop gap in their life in order to get easy sex, but would never find it acceptable to share their own partner. We find these guys don't really get the sexual liberation that swingers enjoy, and have a tendency to look down on the husbands who do share there wives. The thing is this site isn't just a swingers site and as such it has all aspects of sexual liberties. It makes it hard then when some generalisations are made. For me I won't meet couples or a lady from a couple either. I'll only meet single ladies. So I'm in a 3rd group and I'm sure there are other groups on here as well." * I don't look down on the husbands who let their ladies out...not do I look down at the husbands who meet single ladies on their own either. That's non of my business or anyone elses....what I found strange in you statement was the way you're condescending and imply the second type of single men are not enjoying the liberation. ...yet you'll willingly let your partner use them for her needs ...I reference to many couples whose partners swing separately. | |||
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"Ah see point 1 I'm with you - seems very hypocritical to want a one way exchange of info and pics.
But point 2 - can't see the problem, everyone has their preferences, some guys love to see their wife shared others don't. Just because they are happy to attend an event where a lady is willing to participate in a GB doesn't mean they should by default be happy for their other half to get shared. Some men go dogging and meet hot wives etc who are happy to play with them, does that also mean their wives should be out there dogging too?
So I can agree with 50% of your points but respectfully disagree with your second
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"We've come across 2 types of single men on the swing scene. Those who are swingers at heart, and would be no different if they were enjoying the lifestyle with their partner. These guys respect the women and couples on the scene. They also have a greater understanding of the dynamics of playing with a couple, because it is something they would enjoy doing themselves if they had a partner. We try to avoid the other type - those who are using the swing scene as a stop gap in their life in order to get easy sex, but would never find it acceptable to share their own partner. We find these guys don't really get the sexual liberation that swingers enjoy, and have a tendency to look down on the husbands who do share there wives." This sums it up perfectly | |||
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" What my concern is with guys who find it unacceptable for their own partners to behave like me, is whether these guys respect me for my sexual liberation, or whether I'm a toy to be used. We do find it a lot easier with single guys who would do the same thing with their own partners if they had partners. There just seems to be more respect and understanding. It's a valid and interesting point, but you open a whole tin of worms with it. 1/ why should they treat you with the respect they would a partner, you have a partner, and are not offering that role, just NSA. 2/ Just NSA, or just NSA with people who think as you do, no strings attached, but conditions attached. 3/ Do people treat a rental the same as their own car? Not insulting the OP, but it's like the discussion you could have about two people. Male - "I love anal but my wife hates it" Female - "I love anal" So should the guy not have anal sex with the girl, because the girl is not his wife and she doesn't like it so why should he be able to do it with anyone else? Nota Bene, I have not said WHY the wife does not like it, she may find it disgusting, but be able to take a fist in her ass. Ultimately the OP can set any rules or tests they like for their meeets, I just find it slightly risible that a swinger is looking for so much respect that they are treated at least as equal as a potential playmate's partner. In the OP's case I'm sure the males in question do not see you as a suitable person to have babies and raise a family with, to share a mortgage with, to go on holiday with staying at the in-laws... why does it matter if they put their wife on a pedestal and treat you like a fucktoy? " Is there such a thing as more or less respect? Why treat someone in such a way that they may tell you to beat the road when you can just assume that everyone deserves respect and avoid those who in your opinion don't? Otherwise you sound a bit like those guys we've all seen at parties who cannot overcome the trappings of whatever culture has taught them to disrespect any woman who is not their wife but loves sex even to the detriment of their own pleasure? | |||
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"I fully respect anyone who doesn't want to share their partners. I don't expect anyone to do something to or with me because I do it to them. If I did I wouldn't have sucked so many cocks,because it wasn't reciprocated. I can choose to not meet men if they don't give oral,it's their choice not to. " See, we're in a 24/7 d/s relationship, "where's my coffee bitch" is heard in this house every day, but here is a newsflash, I can share my car, my clothes, my bed, my meal, I can't share another human being. I can *tell* her to, or not to, but unlike sharing a non living being, there are consequences to both. | |||
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" Is there such a thing as more or less respect? Why treat someone in such a way that they may tell you to beat the road when you can just assume that everyone deserves respect and avoid those who in your opinion don't? Otherwise you sound a bit like those guys we've all seen at parties who cannot overcome the trappings of whatever culture has taught them to disrespect any woman who is not their wife but loves sex even to the detriment of their own pleasure?" 1/ of course there are degrees of respect, it's a puerile question. 2/ strawman question, you are making a forced assumption that a guy seeing his wife and my wife in a different light is a problem, it's not. 2.a/ one wife DOES fuck other men, one wife does not fuck other men, both husbands fuck other women, why is this the men's problem, should they be punished for seeing what is before them? 3/ I genuinely have no idea what sort of parties you go to, your assumption we have all been to the same sort of parties is fallacious. What's next on the fab whining list? How dare this disgusting vile selfish arrogant single man want to fuck my wife, and then objects to me fucking his daughter? The two putative wives in this theoretical discussion are, lest we forget, two entirely separate individuals, one may be a slut, one may be a princess, must they now both be sluts, or both be princesses? Or is it about men, men aren't allowe to fuck a princess after they have been with a slut? Or is it divide and conquer, you can't be much of a man because loads of guys get to fuck your wife, but only me fucks my wife? Only thing we can be sure of, it's not NSA. Next please... | |||
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"We've come across 2 types of single men on the swing scene. Those who are swingers at heart, and would be no different if they were enjoying the lifestyle with their partner. These guys respect the women and couples on the scene. They also have a greater understanding of the dynamics of playing with a couple, because it is something they would enjoy doing themselves if they had a partner. We try to avoid the other type - those who are using the swing scene as a stop gap in their life in order to get easy sex, but would never find it acceptable to share their own partner. We find these guys don't really get the sexual liberation that swingers enjoy, and have a tendency to look down on the husbands who do share there wives. The thing is this site isn't just a swingers site and as such it has all aspects of sexual liberties. It makes it hard then when some generalisations are made. For me I won't meet couples or a lady from a couple either. I'll only meet single ladies. So I'm in a 3rd group and I'm sure there are other groups on here as well. * I don't look down on the husbands who let their ladies out...not do I look down at the husbands who meet single ladies on their own either. That's non of my business or anyone elses....what I found strange in you statement was the way you're condescending and imply the second type of single men are not enjoying the liberation. ...yet you'll willingly let your partner use them for her needs ...I reference to many couples whose partners swing separately. " I apologise if I sounded condescending. It is more that I worry that some men do look down on women such as myself who have multiple partners. I'm possibly wrong to say that this type of disrespect and double standards exists amongst men who would not embrace the swing scene with their own partner. However we do find the dynamics and mutual understanding a lot easier with those men who, like us, believe in non-monogamy. I may be wrong to use the word 'disrespect' so liberally, but there are unfortunately some men who I feel do not respect women who have multiple partners, but are quite happy to fuck them. | |||
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"We've come across 2 types of single men on the swing scene. Those who are swingers at heart, and would be no different if they were enjoying the lifestyle with their partner. These guys respect the women and couples on the scene. They also have a greater understanding of the dynamics of playing with a couple, because it is something they would enjoy doing themselves if they had a partner. We try to avoid the other type - those who are using the swing scene as a stop gap in their life in order to get easy sex, but would never find it acceptable to share their own partner. We find these guys don't really get the sexual liberation that swingers enjoy, and have a tendency to look down on the husbands who do share there wives. The thing is this site isn't just a swingers site and as such it has all aspects of sexual liberties. It makes it hard then when some generalisations are made. For me I won't meet couples or a lady from a couple either. I'll only meet single ladies. So I'm in a 3rd group and I'm sure there are other groups on here as well. * I don't look down on the husbands who let their ladies out...not do I look down at the husbands who meet single ladies on their own either. That's non of my business or anyone elses....what I found strange in you statement was the way you're condescending and imply the second type of single men are not enjoying the liberation. ...yet you'll willingly let your partner use them for her needs ...I reference to many couples whose partners swing separately. I apologise if I sounded condescending. It is more that I worry that some men do look down on women such as myself who have multiple partners. I'm possibly wrong to say that this type of disrespect and double standards exists amongst men who would not embrace the swing scene with their own partner. However we do find the dynamics and mutual understanding a lot easier with those men who, like us, believe in non-monogamy. I may be wrong to use the word 'disrespect' so liberally, but there are unfortunately some men who I feel do not respect women who have multiple partners, but are quite happy to fuck them." I have spoken to men who have no respect for the women on here. They talk as if we are objects for their enjoyment and don't warrant any respect. Their attitude is that sexually open women are there to be used and they wouldn't marry someone like that. I find this attitude off putting and not attractive in the least. | |||
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"We've come across 2 types of single men on the swing scene. Those who are swingers at heart, and would be no different if they were enjoying the lifestyle with their partner. These guys respect the women and couples on the scene. They also have a greater understanding of the dynamics of playing with a couple, because it is something they would enjoy doing themselves if they had a partner. We try to avoid the other type - those who are using the swing scene as a stop gap in their life in order to get easy sex, but would never find it acceptable to share their own partner. We find these guys don't really get the sexual liberation that swingers enjoy, and have a tendency to look down on the husbands who do share there wives. The thing is this site isn't just a swingers site and as such it has all aspects of sexual liberties. It makes it hard then when some generalisations are made. For me I won't meet couples or a lady from a couple either. I'll only meet single ladies. So I'm in a 3rd group and I'm sure there are other groups on here as well." Fair point. What I meant was, very broadly speaking, and for the purposes of this discussion, we come across two type of men who would be interested in us a couple. And very broadly speaking, we do find it easier, and perhaps a greater level of respect, with men who share our belief in non-monogamy. Yes of course there are all types, so I was talking very generally, and really only about our personal experiences. I certainly don't wish to box anyone. | |||
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"I have spoken to men who have no respect for the women on here. They talk as if we are objects for their enjoyment and don't warrant any respect. Their attitude is that sexually open women are there to be used and they wouldn't marry someone like that. I find this attitude off putting and not attractive in the least. " Thank you, that's really what I was trying to say, but I expressed it badly. My husband married me. He doesn't think less of me because I have multiple partners. He doesn't think less of our female friends on the scene. Our male friends on the scene also don't think less of me than they might of a woman who was monagamous. However, there are some men on the scene who will think less of a woman like me but still be prepared to fuck me. That is double standards, and straight out of the Victorian era. I was however wrong to catagorise men into two groups though. | |||
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" What my concern is with guys who find it unacceptable for their own partners to behave like me, is whether these guys respect me for my sexual liberation, or whether I'm a toy to be used. We do find it a lot easier with single guys who would do the same thing with their own partners if they had partners. There just seems to be more respect and understanding. It's a valid and interesting point, but you open a whole tin of worms with it. 1/ why should they treat you with the respect they would a partner, you have a partner, and are not offering that role, just NSA. 2/ Just NSA, or just NSA with people who think as you do, no strings attached, but conditions attached. 3/ Do people treat a rental the same as their own car? Not insulting the OP, but it's like the discussion you could have about two people. Male - "I love anal but my wife hates it" Female - "I love anal" So should the guy not have anal sex with the girl, because the girl is not his wife and she doesn't like it so why should he be able to do it with anyone else? Nota Bene, I have not said WHY the wife does not like it, she may find it disgusting, but be able to take a fist in her ass. Ultimately the OP can set any rules or tests they like for their meeets, I just find it slightly risible that a swinger is looking for so much respect that they are treated at least as equal as a potential playmate's partner. In the OP's case I'm sure the males in question do not see you as a suitable person to have babies and raise a family with, to share a mortgage with, to go on holiday with staying at the in-laws... why does it matter if they put their wife on a pedestal and treat you like a fucktoy? " I think all women deserve respect from men on the swing scene. My husband will put me on a pedestal because he loves me and shares a life with me. But the women my husband plays with he treats with total respect. Likewise, of course I don't expect to be put on a pedestal by one one of my lovers of FBs, as they might their wives or girlfriends. But there still treat me with respect. And that is all i ask. | |||
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" Thank you, that's really what I was trying to say, but I expressed it badly. My husband married me. He doesn't think less of me because I have multiple partners. He doesn't think less of our female friends on the scene. Our male friends on the scene also don't think less of me than they might of a woman who was monagamous. However, there are some men on the scene who will think less of a woman like me but still be prepared to fuck me. That is double standards, and straight out of the Victorian era. I was however wrong to catagorise men into two groups though." Please take this in the manner it was intended, not criticism, but an alternative _iewpoint. You imply very clearly that there are women who will think "less" of a woman who fucks many men, vs a woman who fucks only one man, and you then claim that these same men being willing to fuck you is some sort of victorian "double standard" If I was looking to father a child, I'd choose a women who was only fucking me, not a woman who was fucking many, it's not about less or more, it's that one is more suited to a desired outcome than another. Do you see these men who you fuck as being "less" than your husband, after all, you do not offer to father their children, clean their house, cook their food, why the "double standard" Essentially you sound like someone who wishes to have their cake and eat it, you want all the benefits of a modern libertine bohemian lifestyle, but, you'd also quite like to be treated as something rather nice and special. Two people fuck, why should one of them feel priviledged or honoured or lucky while the other one gets to feel like they are giving alms to the poor? You, like us all, have an absolute right to choose whom you do and do not fuck... that doesn't seem to be the issue here. You, like us all, have an absolute right to choose how you live (monogamy etc) and again, that doesn't seem to be the issue here. You, like all of us, have an absolute right to choose to associate with people who share your _iews and standards, again, that doesn't seem to be the issue here. The issue appears to be that not everyone else shares your POV, and you do not like it. What if someone comes along who is a single man swinger, because he does not believe in marriage because he feels that the marriage vows are mutually exclusive to swinging (and I have met men and women from this site who feel that way, they are swinging *until* they find an LTR) and then he starts complaining that you do not share his POV on marriage vows? You don't have the right to be treated with respect by everyone, all you can do is what we do, only associate with those who treat us with respect, which is a minority of the population at large. You *have* a husband, why do you give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks about you? Or what they think about their own wives or mums or the lass down the corner shop. | |||
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" I think all women deserve respect from men on the swing scene." Thank You. We have now managed to identify the point of disagreement between us. I do not thing anyone, male or female, deserves *anything*. If you want something, you earn it. If you put the effort in with an individual and they do not recognise it, move on and ignore them forevermore. | |||
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"Just a cpl of points for forum discussion. I recently organised a mini GB at my place for a lady friend. However, some strange behaviour reared its head. 1. Several guys contacted wanting to come to my home, without a face pic, no contact number, and no means of verification. Expecting others to give full details of address and pics of the lady....WTF?? They also expected us to down load kik ( whatever that is) so they could get pics while remaining anonymous!! errr NO !! 2. Several other guys, married or with GF who state in conversation " oh I would never let another guy touch my Mrs" what double standards!! Play with my toys but you can't touch mine... Again WTF?? No wonder guys get a bad name!!" | |||
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" I do not thing " How I wish fab had an edit feature.... two finger poke and hope typist. | |||
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"I respect woman, just not all woman. Just because they are in the swingers scene guarantees nothing to me. I watch the way people behave and that starts whether I am respectful to them. I won't be disrespectful, just indifferent. " Agree here. | |||
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" Thank you, that's really what I was trying to say, but I expressed it badly. My husband married me. He doesn't think less of me because I have multiple partners. He doesn't think less of our female friends on the scene. Our male friends on the scene also don't think less of me than they might of a woman who was monagamous. However, there are some men on the scene who will think less of a woman like me but still be prepared to fuck me. That is double standards, and straight out of the Victorian era. I was however wrong to catagorise men into two groups though. Please take this in the manner it was intended, not criticism, but an alternative _iewpoint. You imply very clearly that there are women who will think "less" of a woman who fucks many men, vs a woman who fucks only one man, and you then claim that these same men being willing to fuck you is some sort of victorian "double standard" If I was looking to father a child, I'd choose a women who was only fucking me, not a woman who was fucking many, it's not about less or more, it's that one is more suited to a desired outcome than another. Do you see these men who you fuck as being "less" than your husband, after all, you do not offer to father their children, clean their house, cook their food, why the "double standard" Essentially you sound like someone who wishes to have their cake and eat it, you want all the benefits of a modern libertine bohemian lifestyle, but, you'd also quite like to be treated as something rather nice and special. Two people fuck, why should one of them feel priviledged or honoured or lucky while the other one gets to feel like they are giving alms to the poor? You, like us all, have an absolute right to choose whom you do and do not fuck... that doesn't seem to be the issue here. You, like us all, have an absolute right to choose how you live (monogamy etc) and again, that doesn't seem to be the issue here. You, like all of us, have an absolute right to choose to associate with people who share your _iews and standards, again, that doesn't seem to be the issue here. The issue appears to be that not everyone else shares your POV, and you do not like it. What if someone comes along who is a single man swinger, because he does not believe in marriage because he feels that the marriage vows are mutually exclusive to swinging (and I have met men and women from this site who feel that way, they are swinging *until* they find an LTR) and then he starts complaining that you do not share his POV on marriage vows? You don't have the right to be treated with respect by everyone, all you can do is what we do, only associate with those who treat us with respect, which is a minority of the population at large. You *have* a husband, why do you give a flying fuck what anyone else thinks about you? Or what they think about their own wives or mums or the lass down the corner shop. " Don't fully understand everything you said. Its certainly not an issue for me that others don't my POV, and I never expressed that it was an issue. I've listened very respectfully to everybody, I have apologised for my original over-generalisation which I realise I am wrong about. But I have stuck to certain points that I believe in. You are right I will not be cleaning my lovers' house or having children with them. But I don't see these men as 'less' than my husband. Of course I love my husband more than them, and I would always put him first. Everybody we are good friends with on the swing scene, (which are a mixture of couples, single ladies, and single men), all treat each other with respect, or at least respect as I understand it. Maybe we are living a 'bohemian' lifestyle and having our cake and eating it. But we're not hurting anyone. Yes I like to be treated as special. I admit it. Again I'm not hurting anyone. Sorry I didn't understand your comment about two people fucking, one feels honoured and other is giving alms to the poor? I'm afraid I don't really understand the relevance of who would and would have children with me in relation to respect. My husband fathered my children and now we both play with other people. He doesn't consider me unsuitable for role of being the mother of his children just because I have multiple partners. But that is his choice. Many of the husbands we know on the swing scene also had children with their wives, but their wives play. I don't think anybody would want to have children with me now, largely because I'm not available in that capacity. Sorry didn't quite understand your paragraph about single swinging men and marriage vows. In relation to your second to last paragraph, we do do exactly what you do - only associate with those who treat us with respect. Why do I give a 'flying fuck' about what people think of me? Well, I just do - but not specifically me. Rightly or wrongly it's important to me how others are treated. By and large, my starting point is that everybody is entitled to respect. That is just my _iew. Others don't have to agree. | |||
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" I think all women deserve respect from men on the swing scene. Thank You. We have now managed to identify the point of disagreement between us. I do not thing anyone, male or female, deserves *anything*. If you want something, you earn it. If you put the effort in with an individual and they do not recognise it, move on and ignore them forevermore." Yes fair point. I guess don't respect everybody. And I agree with you that not everybody deserves respect. But if someone treats others with respect then they should, in my opinion get respect in return. What upsets me, rightly or wrongly (and maybe I shouldn't care, but I do) is why some men (and hopefully very few) do not respect a woman on the swing scene, even if she treats others with respect. And yes, women should show respect to men too. It goes both ways. | |||
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" Yes fair point. I guess don't respect everybody. And I agree with you that not everybody deserves respect. But if someone treats others with respect then they should, in my opinion get respect in return. What upsets me, rightly or wrongly (and maybe I shouldn't care, but I do) is why some men (and hopefully very few) do not respect a woman on the swing scene, even if she treats others with respect. And yes, women should show respect to men too. It goes both ways." text is sterile and difficult, but this thread is proof that people who have different POV's can nevertheless communicate, exchange info, and gain an understanding of what the other was saying. To clarify. You say you agree with us that "not everyone deserves respect", but what we were saying is *nobody* deserves or is entitled to respect, or anything else. If you want it, work for it. If your efforts are not appreciated, move on until you find someone who does appreciate your efforts. It's not just "some men who do not respect a woman on the swinging scene" men, women, couples, *everybody* shows disrespect to others at some point, every group has individuals who show disrespect at some point. It only becomes a "problem" if you feel that you are entitled to respect... and it then becomes *your* problem, not theirs. See what we said above, if you make the effort and still don't get respect, move on, that doesn't mean move on and be upset about it, it means move on and forget about it. You already gave that individual all the effort they will get. ***IF*** however someone does not respect you, and you have *done* nothing to earn their respect, then you have a choice, move on, or attempt to earn it, if they matter to you. An anlogy here is an off duty police officer putting on the uniform, if they act like an asshole, you can no longer respect the uniform, you do not suddenly respect them because they donned some mantle (I am a dom, kneel before me bitch...lol) the next copper you see will have to deal with the fact that the last copper you saw was an asshole. If he does not like it, he must do his bit to clean up the uniform's image, and bust his fellow cop. No good whining at people who have lost respect for the uniform. This was the problem politicians faced at the brexit thing and more recently in the party leadership squabbles. If Theresa May wants respect, she now has to earn it... and why would she start now, just because she is wearing a bigger hat in office? | |||
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" Yes fair point. I guess don't respect everybody. And I agree with you that not everybody deserves respect. But if someone treats others with respect then they should, in my opinion get respect in return. What upsets me, rightly or wrongly (and maybe I shouldn't care, but I do) is why some men (and hopefully very few) do not respect a woman on the swing scene, even if she treats others with respect. And yes, women should show respect to men too. It goes both ways. text is sterile and difficult, but this thread is proof that people who have different POV's can nevertheless communicate, exchange info, and gain an understanding of what the other was saying. To clarify. You say you agree with us that "not everyone deserves respect", but what we were saying is *nobody* deserves or is entitled to respect, or anything else. If you want it, work for it. If your efforts are not appreciated, move on until you find someone who does appreciate your efforts. It's not just "some men who do not respect a woman on the swinging scene" men, women, couples, *everybody* shows disrespect to others at some point, every group has individuals who show disrespect at some point. It only becomes a "problem" if you feel that you are entitled to respect... and it then becomes *your* problem, not theirs. See what we said above, if you make the effort and still don't get respect, move on, that doesn't mean move on and be upset about it, it means move on and forget about it. You already gave that individual all the effort they will get. ***IF*** however someone does not respect you, and you have *done* nothing to earn their respect, then you have a choice, move on, or attempt to earn it, if they matter to you. An anlogy here is an off duty police officer putting on the uniform, if they act like an asshole, you can no longer respect the uniform, you do not suddenly respect them because they donned some mantle (I am a dom, kneel before me bitch...lol) the next copper you see will have to deal with the fact that the last copper you saw was an asshole. If he does not like it, he must do his bit to clean up the uniform's image, and bust his fellow cop. No good whining at people who have lost respect for the uniform. This was the problem politicians faced at the brexit thing and more recently in the party leadership squabbles. If Theresa May wants respect, she now has to earn it... and why would she start now, just because she is wearing a bigger hat in office?" My starting point is that I will try to respect someone until they demonstrate that they don't deserve respect, and that will usually be because they disrespect others. To go back to my earlier discussion point, which I had made in response to the OP's oriniginal comments and a few other poster's comments, I still maintain that having multiple sexual partners is not reason alone to not deserve respect. But there are some men who don't respect women on Fab purely because of their lifestyle, even though these men themselves indulge in the lifestyle too. Thanks for your advise on how to deal with people who are disrespectful, but in all honesty I was just joining in a forum discussion that interested me. We're pretty happy with our experience of the lifestyle, and fortunately everybody we know personally on the scene does treat us with respect, and us them. | |||
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