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When a swinger feels like dating again

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I was wondering if any other singles on here is or has gone through a thought process similar to mine at any point?

As a single guy although on the whole I enjoy my life as a swinger sometimes I would like to share it with someone special. The only problem with that is that on here mentioning the word RELATIONSHIP is almost as lethal as touching a vampire with a crucifix. I say this partly tongue in cheek but i think you know what i mean.

Every now and then I have a browse through POF, Match and similar dating apps but at the back of my mind I find myself thinking. Ok if I meet someone I really like then what? I'm not inclined to hide who I am but imagine most people running to the hills once they find out you are or have been into swinging or BDSM. Has anyone else had thoughts along these lines?

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Yep,it's a complete confusing mess. One thing I do know I'm now going to keep my gob shut about this place as it's backfiring on me...

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"Yep,it's a complete confusing mess. One thing I do know I'm now going to keep my gob shut about this place as it's backfiring on me..."

Talk about confirming my suspicions. I once went on a date via POF and when the lady mentioned 50 shades of grey I shared some of my knowledge, we still chatted a few times after that but she said my knowledge had scared and intimidated her.

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

All is not lost as I've seen several couples on here get together and either live together and have a couples profile or got married and are on here as separates or met on here and got married and left.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had it work both ways. Straight people on dating sites have been horrified and yet one guy I met on tinder turned out to be someone who has been on fab. Unfortunately it turned our dates into more like fab meets instead of dating. That disappointed me as we had spoken about dating but once he knew I was a fabber he lost interest in anything other than sex.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I date people who are into the same things as me. That includes swinging and BDSM. Why wouldn't you?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"All is not lost as I've seen several couples on here get together and either live together and have a couples profile or got married and are on here as separates or met on here and got married and left. "

Yes I've known it to happen so I am crossing my fingers

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"Yep,it's a complete confusing mess. One thing I do know I'm now going to keep my gob shut about this place as it's backfiring on me...

Talk about confirming my suspicions. I once went on a date via POF and when the lady mentioned 50 shades of grey I shared some of my knowledge, we still chatted a few times after that but she said my knowledge had scared and intimidated her."

I want someone I meet to be open to the idea of this place further down the line in a relationship if we both want,but if I mention it at the beginning they just focus on the sex side of thing's and not on a relationship. Hopefully you find someone who will be intrigued by what you say and not scared.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"I've had it work both ways. Straight people on dating sites have been horrified and yet one guy I met on tinder turned out to be someone who has been on fab. Unfortunately it turned our dates into more like fab meets instead of dating. That disappointed me as we had spoken about dating but once he knew I was a fabber he lost interest in anything other than sex."

Exactly this!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yep,it's a complete confusing mess. One thing I do know I'm now going to keep my gob shut about this place as it's backfiring on me..."

I know the feeling ... I just don't tell anyone unless they mention it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was incredibly lucky with this! I wasn't really looking for a relationship and came across a hotty on POF. Something niggled at back of my mind, why do I know this woman, then it hit. I had seen her profile on here! Anyways long story short 6 months later we are still together and having the best sex of my life.

Moral of the story hang on in there and stick with what you want, things have a way of working out!

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I've had it work both ways. Straight people on dating sites have been horrified and yet one guy I met on tinder turned out to be someone who has been on fab. Unfortunately it turned our dates into more like fab meets instead of dating. That disappointed me as we had spoken about dating but once he knew I was a fabber he lost interest in anything other than sex."

Never simple is it lol. I'm on Tinder too but haven't met anyone from there yet. I'm doing an experiment by making this profile dating specific. Be interesting to see if anything different happens

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I was wondering if any other singles on here is or has gone through a thought process similar to mine at any point?

As a single guy although on the whole I enjoy my life as a swinger sometimes I would like to share it with someone special. The only problem with that is that on here mentioning the word RELATIONSHIP is almost as lethal as touching a vampire with a crucifix. I say this partly tongue in cheek but i think you know what i mean.

Every now and then I have a browse through POF, Match and similar dating apps but at the back of my mind I find myself thinking. Ok if I meet someone I really like then what? I'm not inclined to hide who I am but imagine most people running to the hills once they find out you are or have been into swinging or BDSM. Has anyone else had thoughts along these lines?"

Yes, sadly I think I would have to fail to mention the fact that I had been on a swingers site, at least to start with, because I think people are likely to assume that you would not be faithful when in fact I take loyalty to an art form!

I think you could put something on your dating site profiles which alluded to your 'open-mindedness'. Many people from sites like these ARE on dating sites looking for a full time relationship, me included, I have come across several kinksters. One for instance said he was looking for something non-vanilla in his headline.

I wish you luck!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was wondering if any other singles on here is or has gone through a thought process similar to mine at any point?

As a single guy although on the whole I enjoy my life as a swinger sometimes I would like to share it with someone special. The only problem with that is that on here mentioning the word RELATIONSHIP is almost as lethal as touching a vampire with a crucifix. I say this partly tongue in cheek but i think you know what i mean.

Every now and then I have a browse through POF, Match and similar dating apps but at the back of my mind I find myself thinking. Ok if I meet someone I really like then what? I'm not inclined to hide who I am but imagine most people running to the hills once they find out you are or have been into swinging or BDSM. Has anyone else had thoughts along these lines?

Yes, sadly I think I would have to fail to mention the fact that I had been on a swingers site, at least to start with, because I think people are likely to assume that you would not be faithful when in fact I take loyalty to an art form!

I think you could put something on your dating site profiles which alluded to your 'open-mindedness'. Many people from sites like these ARE on dating sites looking for a full time relationship, me included, I have come across several kinksters. One for instance said he was looking for something non-vanilla in his headline.

I wish you luck! "

I just write on my dating profiles that I'm looking for people who are non-monogamous and into BDSM... it seems to work! No secret codes required.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I've had it work both ways. Straight people on dating sites have been horrified and yet one guy I met on tinder turned out to be someone who has been on fab. Unfortunately it turned our dates into more like fab meets instead of dating. That disappointed me as we had spoken about dating but once he knew I was a fabber he lost interest in anything other than sex.

Exactly this!!!"

It was a bit like that when I put this profile pic up on POF. I was inundated with responses, but when those I started to chat with found out I really was only looking for a relationship the conversations got slower and slower lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I was very fortunate as met my other half on here 5yrs ago and we just clicked even though neither of us were looking for a relationship.

You should try Misscheekychops dating threads they have been successful on here too

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"I was wondering if any other singles on here is or has gone through a thought process similar to mine at any point?

As a single guy although on the whole I enjoy my life as a swinger sometimes I would like to share it with someone special. The only problem with that is that on here mentioning the word RELATIONSHIP is almost as lethal as touching a vampire with a crucifix. I say this partly tongue in cheek but i think you know what i mean.

Every now and then I have a browse through POF, Match and similar dating apps but at the back of my mind I find myself thinking. Ok if I meet someone I really like then what? I'm not inclined to hide who I am but imagine most people running to the hills once they find out you are or have been into swinging or BDSM. Has anyone else had thoughts along these lines?

Yes, sadly I think I would have to fail to mention the fact that I had been on a swingers site, at least to start with, because I think people are likely to assume that you would not be faithful when in fact I take loyalty to an art form!

I think you could put something on your dating site profiles which alluded to your 'open-mindedness'. Many people from sites like these ARE on dating sites looking for a full time relationship, me included, I have come across several kinksters. One for instance said he was looking for something non-vanilla in his headline.

I wish you luck!

I just write on my dating profiles that I'm looking for people who are non-monogamous and into BDSM... it seems to work! No secret codes required."

Yes, on sites where that is allowed I am sure it would be the best way. POF would freak lol!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was wondering if any other singles on here is or has gone through a thought process similar to mine at any point?

As a single guy although on the whole I enjoy my life as a swinger sometimes I would like to share it with someone special. The only problem with that is that on here mentioning the word RELATIONSHIP is almost as lethal as touching a vampire with a crucifix. I say this partly tongue in cheek but i think you know what i mean.

Every now and then I have a browse through POF, Match and similar dating apps but at the back of my mind I find myself thinking. Ok if I meet someone I really like then what? I'm not inclined to hide who I am but imagine most people running to the hills once they find out you are or have been into swinging or BDSM. Has anyone else had thoughts along these lines?

Yes, sadly I think I would have to fail to mention the fact that I had been on a swingers site, at least to start with, because I think people are likely to assume that you would not be faithful when in fact I take loyalty to an art form!

I think you could put something on your dating site profiles which alluded to your 'open-mindedness'. Many people from sites like these ARE on dating sites looking for a full time relationship, me included, I have come across several kinksters. One for instance said he was looking for something non-vanilla in his headline.

I wish you luck!

I just write on my dating profiles that I'm looking for people who are non-monogamous and into BDSM... it seems to work! No secret codes required.

Yes, on sites where that is allowed I am sure it would be the best way. POF would freak lol!!"

I used to have a POF profile with that written on and never had a problem. I also have my profile quite explicit on OKC and a couple of other places.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was wondering if any other singles on here is or has gone through a thought process similar to mine at any point?

As a single guy although on the whole I enjoy my life as a swinger sometimes I would like to share it with someone special. The only problem with that is that on here mentioning the word RELATIONSHIP is almost as lethal as touching a vampire with a crucifix. I say this partly tongue in cheek but i think you know what i mean.

Every now and then I have a browse through POF, Match and similar dating apps but at the back of my mind I find myself thinking. Ok if I meet someone I really like then what? I'm not inclined to hide who I am but imagine most people running to the hills once they find out you are or have been into swinging or BDSM. Has anyone else had thoughts along these lines?

Yes, sadly I think I would have to fail to mention the fact that I had been on a swingers site, at least to start with, because I think people are likely to assume that you would not be faithful when in fact I take loyalty to an art form!

I think you could put something on your dating site profiles which alluded to your 'open-mindedness'. Many people from sites like these ARE on dating sites looking for a full time relationship, me included, I have come across several kinksters. One for instance said he was looking for something non-vanilla in his headline.

I wish you luck! "

I once went on a pof date with a guy who admitted he was intrigued by swinging but then told me he would never be able to trust me in a relationship. he wanted to have sex tho haha, told him to jog on!. I have tried both approaches, keeping my mouth shut about sex till later (Guys were intimidated) and also mentioning that I'm open minded ( Ended up with fab meet style dates ) So here I am. I don't think there's an easy answer. People say stop looking and it will find you. Tried that and it didn't end well. either

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"I was wondering if any other singles on here is or has gone through a thought process similar to mine at any point?

As a single guy although on the whole I enjoy my life as a swinger sometimes I would like to share it with someone special. The only problem with that is that on here mentioning the word RELATIONSHIP is almost as lethal as touching a vampire with a crucifix. I say this partly tongue in cheek but i think you know what i mean.

Every now and then I have a browse through POF, Match and similar dating apps but at the back of my mind I find myself thinking. Ok if I meet someone I really like then what? I'm not inclined to hide who I am but imagine most people running to the hills once they find out you are or have been into swinging or BDSM. Has anyone else had thoughts along these lines?

Yes, sadly I think I would have to fail to mention the fact that I had been on a swingers site, at least to start with, because I think people are likely to assume that you would not be faithful when in fact I take loyalty to an art form!

I think you could put something on your dating site profiles which alluded to your 'open-mindedness'. Many people from sites like these ARE on dating sites looking for a full time relationship, me included, I have come across several kinksters. One for instance said he was looking for something non-vanilla in his headline.

I wish you luck!

I just write on my dating profiles that I'm looking for people who are non-monogamous and into BDSM... it seems to work! No secret codes required.

Yes, on sites where that is allowed I am sure it would be the best way. POF would freak lol!!

I used to have a POF profile with that written on and never had a problem. I also have my profile quite explicit on OKC and a couple of other places."

It's good it's worked for you,other's like myself are not quite so fortunate

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!


"I was wondering if any other singles on here is or has gone through a thought process similar to mine at any point?

As a single guy although on the whole I enjoy my life as a swinger sometimes I would like to share it with someone special. The only problem with that is that on here mentioning the word RELATIONSHIP is almost as lethal as touching a vampire with a crucifix. I say this partly tongue in cheek but i think you know what i mean.

Every now and then I have a browse through POF, Match and similar dating apps but at the back of my mind I find myself thinking. Ok if I meet someone I really like then what? I'm not inclined to hide who I am but imagine most people running to the hills once they find out you are or have been into swinging or BDSM. Has anyone else had thoughts along these lines?

Yes, sadly I think I would have to fail to mention the fact that I had been on a swingers site, at least to start with, because I think people are likely to assume that you would not be faithful when in fact I take loyalty to an art form!

I think you could put something on your dating site profiles which alluded to your 'open-mindedness'. Many people from sites like these ARE on dating sites looking for a full time relationship, me included, I have come across several kinksters. One for instance said he was looking for something non-vanilla in his headline.

I wish you luck!

I once went on a pof date with a guy who admitted he was intrigued by swinging but then told me he would never be able to trust me in a relationship. he wanted to have sex tho haha, told him to jog on!. I have tried both approaches, keeping my mouth shut about sex till later (Guys were intimidated) and also mentioning that I'm open minded ( Ended up with fab meet style dates ) So here I am. I don't think there's an easy answer. People say stop looking and it will find you. Tried that and it didn't end well. either "

It's not good is it,I think I'm going to be single for ever at this rate

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was wondering if any other singles on here is or has gone through a thought process similar to mine at any point?

As a single guy although on the whole I enjoy my life as a swinger sometimes I would like to share it with someone special. The only problem with that is that on here mentioning the word RELATIONSHIP is almost as lethal as touching a vampire with a crucifix. I say this partly tongue in cheek but i think you know what i mean.

Every now and then I have a browse through POF, Match and similar dating apps but at the back of my mind I find myself thinking. Ok if I meet someone I really like then what? I'm not inclined to hide who I am but imagine most people running to the hills once they find out you are or have been into swinging or BDSM. Has anyone else had thoughts along these lines?"

I think a hell of a lot of people on dating sites are also in site like this

Maybe you'll find somebody on POF who's also in here thinking the exact same as you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Honestly though - if you want to meet people for something more than a one off, go to clubs. Most of my recent relationships in the last half decade or so have started at BDSM clubs.

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By *odareyouMan
over a year ago

not far from iceland,,,,,, tescos is nearer though :-) (near leeds)

I've always thought honesty was the bedrock of any relationship.. I've mentioned my history of Wimbledon to ladies I've dated and it seems to have put out any flames that might have been starting...

I've decided in future if I meet someone not from this site if I'm asked I'll be honest I'm not ashamed of this side of my life, , if I'm not asked I'll say nothing , at the age I am and prospective dates we all have histories...some more adventurous than others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've always thought honesty was the bedrock of any relationship.. I've mentioned my history of Wimbledon to ladies I've dated and it seems to have put out any flames that might have been starting...

I've decided in future if I meet someone not from this site if I'm asked I'll be honest I'm not ashamed of this side of my life, , if I'm not asked I'll say nothing , at the age I am and prospective dates we all have histories...some more adventurous than others "

I wouldn't discuss my previous sex life with a new partner anyway and I wouldn't ask about theirs

I don't see how what you did before you met somebody is any of their buisness

But then have been single most if my life so maybe my attitude isnt the best to follow

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I was wondering if any other singles on here is or has gone through a thought process similar to mine at any point?

As a single guy although on the whole I enjoy my life as a swinger sometimes I would like to share it with someone special. The only problem with that is that on here mentioning the word RELATIONSHIP is almost as lethal as touching a vampire with a crucifix. I say this partly tongue in cheek but i think you know what i mean.

Every now and then I have a browse through POF, Match and similar dating apps but at the back of my mind I find myself thinking. Ok if I meet someone I really like then what? I'm not inclined to hide who I am but imagine most people running to the hills once they find out you are or have been into swinging or BDSM. Has anyone else had thoughts along these lines?

Yes, sadly I think I would have to fail to mention the fact that I had been on a swingers site, at least to start with, because I think people are likely to assume that you would not be faithful when in fact I take loyalty to an art form!

I think you could put something on your dating site profiles which alluded to your 'open-mindedness'. Many people from sites like these ARE on dating sites looking for a full time relationship, me included, I have come across several kinksters. One for instance said he was looking for something non-vanilla in his headline.

I wish you luck!

I just write on my dating profiles that I'm looking for people who are non-monogamous and into BDSM... it seems to work! No secret codes required."

Interesting, I might give that a go and see what response I get.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

The thing is everything is hyperthetical for me anyway,I've never swung in a relationship so don't know if I could when push comes to shove. All I know is the thought of just being with one man for the rest of my life is a little scary,maybe if I met the right person I'd feel completely different. All I know is I want to share my life with someone special.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

This is the first thread started by me the has attracted this amount of response in so short a time. I find that encouraging and it increases my optimism.

Much appreciated.

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By *rcticFoxxxWoman
over a year ago

Hereabouts

Date a swinger

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met the guy I am seeing, kinda on here...and we are both still on here, although only play exclusively with eachother....and I know a couple that met through fab that are about to tie the knot...ya need to be able to be honest with someone to be able to love them freely I think, despite the subject matter...would hate hiding something just incase it meant he wouldn't want to love me...if that is the case then it will fail eventually....honesty n trust are key

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I met jack on here,neither of us were actively looking for more than fun ,but it just happened.

You can meet people anywhere op and i think lots of people on here are open to more than fun.miss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I was wondering if any other singles on here is or has gone through a thought process similar to mine at any point?

As a single guy although on the whole I enjoy my life as a swinger sometimes I would like to share it with someone special. The only problem with that is that on here mentioning the word RELATIONSHIP is almost as lethal as touching a vampire with a crucifix. I say this partly tongue in cheek but i think you know what i mean.

Every now and then I have a browse through POF, Match and similar dating apps but at the back of my mind I find myself thinking. Ok if I meet someone I really like then what? I'm not inclined to hide who I am but imagine most people running to the hills once they find out you are or have been into swinging or BDSM. Has anyone else had thoughts along these lines?"

I met a guy on here for nsa fun and after a couple of months, he told me that for him the dynamics of our relationship had changed and I meant something to him. He then went onto say that although he was happy to go to Clubs with me, he didn't know how he'd feel sharing someone he cared about with other guys. He got very jealous when I had an impromptu meet with someone I had met regularly before him. So we (at least I) didn't play with anyone else and when we went to Clubs, we played exclusively with each other. I was OK with it, I'd got feelings for him too by that time and didn't feel the need to have sex with other people. (To be honest, we met up virtually daily for months, so I had no spare time for anyone else). Then he obviously had a change of heart again, because he dumped me without a word. His way of telling me it was all over was to say nothing and ignore me. Not even a text. Looking back, he was identical to my ex-husband, he could play with whoever he wanted, but I had to keep myself exclusively for him. I wouldn't mind finding a kinky guy who wanted to Swing within a relationship, but I don't think a dating site is the place to find someone. FAB is probably the place to do it but it wouldn't be easy either.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Yep!

I used to mention it to "dates" after a while and it never went well, ever.

I'm incredibly unsuccessful at dating, If I last three dates, I'm doing well.

It must be my winning personality...

I finally completely abandoned the idea this March and haven't been dating since.

I guess this is who I am now....

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By *entleman JayMan
over a year ago

Wakefield

I guess many of us are looking for someone to share both the naughty and vanilla parts of our lives. I certainly am.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess many of us are looking for someone to share both the naughty and vanilla parts of our lives. I certainly am. "

I'm not a swinger.

But the reason I'd be put off by a guy who was into this lifestyle is because we wouldn't be compatible long term.

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"I guess many of us are looking for someone to share both the naughty and vanilla parts of our lives. I certainly am.

I'm not a swinger.

But the reason I'd be put off by a guy who was into this lifestyle is because we wouldn't be compatible long term. "

How many times have I had this conversation?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I guess many of us are looking for someone to share both the naughty and vanilla parts of our lives. I certainly am.

I'm not a swinger.

But the reason I'd be put off by a guy who was into this lifestyle is because we wouldn't be compatible long term.

How many times have I had this conversation?

"

A few, same as me!

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