FabSwingers.com forum: Ok...this whole 'Master' stuff and BDSM...i don't geddit

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

OK so i am ignorant..but this kinda fascinates me a bit so...

I've seen and read some things about women having 'masters'. How does this work? I mean..i like good hard sex but would never want a woman to call me her 'master'. Ive read a few women refer to these guys as 'masters' when they have been writing posts...for example "master won't let me X or Y"...just baffles me a bit.

I understand some women like to be dominated (no prob with that!!!) and to have a master but how far does this master and slave relationship stretch? For example...if the master and slave are actually a married couple or in a relationship would she get up and turn the telly over for him? Bring him breakfast in bed? ...What i am getting at is outside the bedroom if the guy asks for something would the woman obey? For example getting up in the middle of the night to boil her master and egg and cut him soldiers etc if he is feeling peckish?

Apologies for the ignorance..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

He could try...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

At least you've admitted your ignorance!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I think we need a certain little lady online to answer this one (if her master allows her to

)

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

By the way this topic is not meant in a piss taking way or to make fun. I encourage anyone to do what makes them happy sexually...it just fascinates me a bit.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Okay, now I have permission to reply..

Its not just about having the dominance.. I for instance had a play session last night where the guy was very sexually dominant, but I did not submit to him...

I am owned.. yes owned.. if you google bdsm, slaves there are a lot of posts I have made on why for me its my chosen way..

If Master asked me to do something, I would do it but to be fair more often than not I do it before being asked because we know each other so well...

Sub and dom tends to in my eyes be more a sexual thing.. Master slave relationships less so about the sex.. in fact its often not about sex at all..

As a slave I serve my Master, I am here to do that.. and yes.. if Master asked me to go do something I would do it.. and it is anyway, everywhere, 24/7...because I have totally given over control, I ask for anything not to do with running the house or looking after the kids...or things like food, or toilet stuff.. ( some slaves do have to ask for that too)

I dont think my Master would waste my servitude on getting me to turn the tv over though... we are a normal couple in so many ways... loving, affectionaite, we dont argue.. as I would never do so... I can discuss, I can ask, I can put my feelings forward but to argue would be such disrespect.

Its about respect and honour and love... and that is why I enjoy being my Masters slave.. in return for my loyalty I am a very well looked after loved and happy woman...

But to answer the question.. it strechs as far as the individual couple want it too.. some are Masters only in the bedroom.. some in every aspect of life..

I got reminded while out driving the other week.. and had a narrow escape.. Master was telling me about a previous slave that for her naughtiness Master had asked her to be naked in the passenger seat and drive around.. I said " I would never do that" the words were out my mouth before I could pull them in.. but luckily for me, my Master knows that I have confidence issues and that would not have been in my best interest..

I am trained and disciplined when I need it and punished from time to time, its just part and parcel.. I am not often in trouble though as I try my hardest all the time.. BUt dont think for one minute that its a nice easy ride for the Masters.. it takes a lot of work.

Katie. with her Masters consent.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think we need a certain little lady online to answer this one (if her master allows her to

Lol I was on my way.. I was waiting for permission and doing tasks.. lol

and asking questions is a good way to learn...

Katie, with her Masters consent..

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Wow Katie...thanks for replying. Absolutely fascinating and hey...i am not knocking anyone, as i have said before so long as people are happy then thats ok with me.

Fascinating stuff though. Do you call him master during everyday conversation? I am just so fascinated by the whole 'owned' bit. Makes me kind of jealous...my ex mrs was a right gobby cow would argue black is white and night is day and would never do anything i asked her no matter how polite and prefixed by 'pretty please' it was.

So you can still challenge his opinion on certain things?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...........but how far does this master and slave relationship stretch? ..........."

AS far as suits them both.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"...........but how far does this master and slave relationship stretch? ..........."

As far as suits them both.

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I think we need a certain little lady online to answer this one (if her master allows her to

I didn't mean that smiley!!!!! Stupid fat finger and touch screen phone!!!

I hope I haven't offended the person I was referring to!!

I meant this one

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I think we need a certain little lady online to answer this one (if her master allows her to

)

I didn't mean that smiley!!!!! Stupid fat finger and touch screen phone!!!

I hope I haven't offended the person I was referring to!!

I meant this one

Nice legs

Sorry...not relevant i know

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

"I think we need a certain little lady online to answer this one (if her master allows her to

)

I didn't mean that smiley!!!!! Stupid fat finger and touch screen phone!!!

I hope I haven't offended the person I was referring to!!

I meant this one

Nice legs

Sorry...not relevant i know"

Not relevant but always nice to hear. Thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Okay, now I have permission to reply..

Its not just about having the dominance.. I for instance had a play session last night where the guy was very sexually dominant, but I did not submit to him...

I am owned.. yes owned.. if you google bdsm, slaves there are a lot of posts I have made on why for me its my chosen way..

If Master asked me to do something, I would do it but to be fair more often than not I do it before being asked because we know each other so well...

Sub and dom tends to in my eyes be more a sexual thing.. Master slave relationships less so about the sex.. in fact its often not about sex at all..

Its about respect and honour and love... and that is why I enjoy being my Masters slave.. in return for my loyalty I am a very well looked after loved and happy woman...

But to answer the question.. it strechs as far as the individual couple want it too.. some are Masters only in the bedroom.. some in every aspect of life..

Katie. with her Masters consent.x"

Some women can consent to the master and slave thing.

I for one couldnt.Its not in my nature to be subservient to anyone. be in the bedroom or every day life.

If i do something for someone its out of respect, love, friendship etc. Not because i had to.

Im also always facinated by the "scene" and fair play to those who like it.

Im my own person and would never do so.

But...we are all different, thank god !

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Okay... I dont always refer to Master as Master.. Around my kids for instance... but out and about in general public I do have a term that I use ( buts its private)

In clubs and with Meets I will mostly refer to Master as Master..

I guess for me I see our relationship as a throw back to older days.. where a man really was king of his castle.. a wife knew her place.. she did her chores, she pleased her man, if he wanted sex she was available etc etc... It just works for us.. its funny as those that know me well know I am not submissive and very much a modern woman. EXCEPT.. with my Master..

I think that makes my total and I do mean total submission to my Master all the sweeter for him....

I dont have limits, I do not have a safe word but that comes of total trust and I would never recomend them to a newbie ( she says at only 10months owned) but for us the depth of our relationship has total understanding and there are times that I know that my Master knows me better than I know myself on things..

Katie, with her Masters consent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See....and no offence intended.

Us women fought hard and long to get out of that role.

A role which degraded women and used them as merely chattels.

Like a peice of furniture shoved up the corner. Barely polished and occasionally kicked.

My dear aunt was abused all her married life by a man who thought that the marriage vows meant he now owned her and could do as he wished.

She thankfully eventually got out and met a man who deemed her his equal.

As she was and as i am to anyone i meet.

I feel that its ok in the bedroom as in role play etc but not everyday life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Katies reply is very good and the love between master and slave just oozes from her posts.

Now I have been lucky to have had two famale sex slaves over the years and neither of them my wife!

In both cases the lady WANTED to be treated like a full sex slave. They both had partners and in every other respect of their relationship things were fine. But both ladies needed to be 'owned' sexually. Their partners did not want to do this. So I became their master. One spent many weeks living with us and I would wake her at all times and have sex with her. I made sure at all times, there was a safe word and in ALL other respect (outside any form of sex), they were treated with respect and like ladies.

Within sex, I did what ever I wanted with them (and things I would not normally do!! but they wanted to experience!). some of this included disaplin some rough (NEVER dangerous).I say again I made sure this is what they wanted and they could stop it at any time.

It was an interesting experience for me and one I am glad I have had chance to exprience.

It is hard for someone who has not been in such a relationship to understand the bond that builds. There is total trust between master and slave.

Please do NOT take this the wrong way but the ladies trusted me so completely, I could of abused them in any way I wished and they would do it.

Both wanted to experience being made to do things that they would not normally do. This included things that were very 'fringe'

Both ladies have gone back to their partners happy to of experienced all, they 'have it out of their systems' and accept that their life is with their partners and live happyly with them. there is no animocity between the couples and me. I was prepared to do what they wanted.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not a game for us that love this though. I have not lost anything.. I have gained more than I lost.

I am confident, protected, looked after, pampered, loved, safe, encouraged to be the very best I can be.. is serving my Man in everyway I can... and knowing that I dont have to worry about mundane things such a bad things..

People get abused, its tragic, been there done that, got the t shirt.. its not nice..

but this is not roleplay, its a lifestyle choice which makes me a better person..

Yes Master picks my clothes, I ask to go out, I ask to go online.. I even ask if I may pleasure myself...but I am totally spoiled.. :D

its a great life and I wish I had found my Master years ago.. HOWEVER, if something happened and for whatever reason I was not with my Master anymore.. I would not submit to another... I have no desire with anyone else.. it is just right with Master.

I really hate it when being a slave gets tied in with an abused beat down wife as its as far from it as being a swinger is being a whore. Similar traits, but totally different.

Katie, with her Masters consent.

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By *eighleedsMan
over a year ago

leeds

"See....and no offence intended.

Us women fought hard and long to get out of that role.

A role which degraded women and used them as merely chattels.

Like a peice of furniture shoved up the corner. Barely polished and occasionally kicked.

My dear aunt was abused all her married life by a man who thought that the marriage vows meant he now owned her and could do as he wished.

She thankfully eventually got out and met a man who deemed her his equal.

As she was and as i am to anyone i meet.

I feel that its ok in the bedroom as in role play etc but not everyday life.

the lifestyle for most as i am sure katie will tel you is not like that, what you describe is abuse no doubt about that.

look up TPE (total power exchange) and its not just women who are into this some men hand over complete control to a woman

please do not confuse this lifestyle with BDSM or Fetish play, whilst linked they are entirely different things

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I know the difference between abuse and what I have now because I have been there...

To do stuff because if I didnt I would be broken was just awful..

TPE like what I share with my Master is rare.. I could techincally be made to do anything, even sold if Master so wished it.. BUT... there is the key, I have a master that loves and respects me...and breaking me or destroying me is not in my Best interests.

Pushed to my limits on occassions oh yes, but everything we do has a purpose.. I hated it when at times I was asked to do things like outdoor sneaky photos.. being in my underwear for someone else to see... I felt self concious but over time I found that grew in confidence...

I never really discuss the darker side of our relationship on here because like others, your sexual enjoyment is your own.. plus people normally get the wrong idea.. but I entered into the ownership with eyes wide open, knowing if I accepted my Masters collar what I was consenting too...

I dont need to be asked each time for consent as putting my collar on gave that consent for anything my Master wishes.. yes its hard for many women to accept but it works for me..

This lifestyle is very open to those that would abuse.. but what you have to remember is that they are likely to be the people that would abuse in any lifestyle..

its up to the other people in this lifestyle to notice...I have had a few younger subs that I have mentored.. but like with everything else in life you have to let them live.. just give them the best advice you can.

I am happy and content and yes I crave the feel of my Masters hands on me... or his belt, crop, or even blade..but I get as much from my submission as Master gets.. its a thing that only works because we both enjoy it...

No I have no safeword.. but I have never been taken to a stage where I was not okay... and as I cuddle in after a scene I know I am loved and safe and I feel good..

Katie, with her Masters consent.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Hope i have not opened a can of worms here!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hope i have not opened a can of worms here!"

We all know who has the differences of opinions... :D

and its a discussion forum... it is a common misconception that bdsm and domestic violence are one in the same.. Sadly there are a few that do not help change these views..

I for one didnt understand anything about this lifestyle before my Master... not a thing.. I thought it was all pvc and whips.

Katie, with her Masters consent.

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By *eighleedsMan
over a year ago

leeds

"Hope i have not opened a can of worms here!"

i do not think you have opened one, you asked a question and you are getting legitimate and true answers,

its a life style some people male or female in either role wish for, and have, as katie has said,

i know a few people in said lifestyle, and all are happy,

its a lot of people outside of it that do not understand, its good to ask questions about soemthing you are not sure of

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

What form would punishment take if you were 'disrespectful'?

Really interesting stuff. I stress again so long as you are happy thats the main thing.

I find it really hard to believe though that some other slaves have to ask to go to the toilet..

Also do you wear something at all times to show you are his? You mention a collar...i take it you don;t walk around all day, shopping, school run with a collar on do you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Abuse of any woman is wrong. What I did was a 'master/slave' role play. What Katie and her master have is a lifestyle. I posted my experience as another side to master/slave etc.

Both are valid.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The slave's opinions are very useful. Remember that the difference between this and what happened in the past is in the informed consent... Our grandmothers had no choice. Our slaves do.

One aspect that might also make you think is that it takes a lot of effort to be a good Master. I'm just starting along this path, and it's hard work! I would absolutely recommend safe words at the beginning, even though many in the O/s community talk negatively about them - until you know each other fully it's really important.

The final thing I'll add is that this type of relationship can make swinging a bit interesting. We were at a club where the man we were playing with kept expecting slave to voice her consent rather than me... Short of me saying "slave, tell him to fuck you" we were at a bit of an impasse!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What form would punishment take if you were 'disrespectful'?

Really interesting stuff. I stress again so long as you are happy thats the main thing.

I find it really hard to believe though that some other slaves have to ask to go to the toilet..

Also do you wear something at all times to show you are his? You mention a collar...i take it you don;t walk around all day, shopping, school run with a collar on do you?

My collar is worn 24/7.. its the one on my profile photo... Yes I know 2 girls that are micro managed.. they have to say exactly what they eat, what they drink, ask to go to toilet ( which can be denied) My Master doesnt want a hopless case.. he likes me strong minded and able to think for myself..

Can I influence a decision.. I am always allowed to express myself.. as long as its done in the correct way. I keep a journal that only Master and I have access too.. my innermost thoughts go in there.. I can not be punished for whats in there..

( unless being that I am a psychologist that I try to be clever and word something to manipulate a situation... but I am not that silly as Master is also good with psychology )

We communicate a lot..and I think its the key to success in any relationship... not just Master and slave ones.. I am very good at expressing how something makes me feel, and MAster likes to know that..

as to punishments.. it depends.. I dont actually get that many..

My spankings and rough play are normally for mutual pleasure as opposed to punishment..

I sometimes have to write about why I was in trouble, why it was disrespectful, what I learnt from it etc...

If I were to get a punishment that was physical it would I imagine be the cane as I am not fond of that.. it would be structured.. and there would be not touching and stroking first.. no gentle build ups.. just full on spanking..

HOWEVER, not happened yet..

I get playtimes pulled.. I get ignored ( oh I hate that) I get no terms of endearments... worst one that I can think of is that when master is away, I could find myself on no contact for a set amount of time.. That would be hell on earth..

I could get slapped but the slaps for punishments are different to the way we would do it when we are having fun..

So its hard to guage.. but the anticipation and feelings when I know I have let my Master down are often worse than any punishment.

Katie, with her Masters consent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

see in swinging I will ask for permission and once I can play with a guy I can.. I will ask if I can suck his cock... but I know that makes it hotter for both of us and often the guy..

I will just turn and say "Master can I .................."

That way works for us.. although I do love it when we do play the total Master and slave card during group play.. and I will be blindfolded, on a collar and leash at this point.. and my Master will give me to the men.. and they can use me as they wish... I get no say.. ( remember I dont play with a safe word)

but I know Masters watching carefully.. so therefore I just relax and enjoy..

katie, with her Masters consent.

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By *eighleedsMan
over a year ago

leeds

"The slave's opinions are very useful. Remember that the difference between this and what happened in the past is in the informed consent... Our grandmothers had no choice. Our slaves do.

THere are two word in this post that could lead to a very informative websit for the op, i wont provide the link (i think that breaks forum rules) but if he wishes to PM me will link the site

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not informed and consent b any chance

a very useful site...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont find that site to be that good to be honest.. lol

To many men that think its okay to contact a slave without first asking her Masters consent.

Katie.

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By *eighleedsMan
over a year ago

leeds

"I dont find that site to be that good to be honest.. lol

To many men that think its okay to contact a slave without first asking her Masters consent.

Katie."

i did not mean for use as contact, but for info

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i did not mean for use as contact, but for info"

I dont find it good for either.. lol.. I find the groups on a certain FET site about LIFE style much more useful.

Katie, x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would agree with Katie, IC was a useful starting place, but FL seems much more dynamic

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

IC scared me when I first found it.. I remember thinking OMG....

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

So there is no humliation in your relationship katie?

Some women like humliation when it comes to sex..but would your master ever ask you to walk about naked and for example 'bark like a dog' if he had friends round to show how obedient you were? Wait on them with drinks etc?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So there is no humliation in your relationship katie?

Define humiliation.. I get called things at times that would make a whore blush but I love it.

If Master had friends around that were open to the lifestyle then Master could make me do anything.. yes I would walk naked if I had to.. I have gone out in very little under my coat at Masters command.. if I was asked to bark then bark is what I would do.. but Master does not like me to feel bad about myself.. and that would make me feel bad.. So I very much doubt it would happen.

Some slaves do like humiliation.. some Dominants too.. its not really a part of our dynamic so I can not really talk on that.. I am also taught that I am Masters most prized posession... where as some are worthless... not worthy to speak.. but that is what they chose and enjoy.. and for the most these girls seem happy..

When I say I would do anything, I mean anything.. the key is that my Master does not abuse that total trust... or my total obedience.. In fact... Master often changes something we are doing so that it is better for me.. because I am cared for..

Yes I am only giving you the loving side.. but even when I am aching and bloody ( we induldge in edge play a lot) its us loving one another.. even if I may at the time feel fear... but its induced because the mind is a very powerful thing.. illusion is a Masters tool.. thinking he is doing something that actually is not the case..

For me the ultimate submission is that I put my life in my Masters capable hands.. as I am owned.. I have no right to walk out, no right to leave..and I love that.

Katie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have asked my slave to do things that made her uncomfortable, for example she is not allowed to wear knickers when with me. However I value her and wouldn't make her do things that didnt have an important lesson associated, or that caused her any problems...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get sent shopping with no panties on.. and all my social meets.. :D I am always to find ways to flash them at meets..

but like you, my Master doesnt do it embarress me but to help me become a better person..

Around Master I do wear underwear.. but I have to decide how expendable it is.. lol I think half my wardrobe is in the local country park shredded ... :D

KAtie. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

This is to katie and masters choice.

Do you know of relationships where the master enjoys the fact his slave feels uncomfortable or bad about themselves? For example 'barking like a dog in the street' and having people laugh at them. Does it get taken to these extremes (maybe not in your own relationships) but have you know it to be like that in others.

I suppose the worst example i can think of is a slave being denied the human right to go to the toilet and then wetting herself.

I know your master doesn;t do this katie and he does not want you to feel bad about yourself but if you were in one of these relationships where you felt like shit all the time you would get out would you not? After all its only a sort of 'handshake agreement' that you will be a slave isn't it?

Or am i missing something on a deeper level?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This is to katie and masters choice.

I suppose the worst example i can think of is a slave being denied the human right to go to the toilet and then wetting herself.

Or am i missing something on a deeper level?"

Firstly, no my ownership is the most important thing in the world to me, more so than my marraige vows... I can not leave, I gave up that right.. yes I guess if you really wanted to argue it legally I could but I would lose what I value.

As to the rest.. yes I know of slaves that have wet themselves because denied the need to go to toilet, and then been made to lick it up.. Now some may go OMG... but this is what both slave and dominant enjoy... its a mutual decision.

I am not a submissive really.. I am my masters slave and I dont think that I would have submitted to my Master if he was into that sort of domination.. But for some, feeling like that is there buzz..

I dont think most dominants would force a slave to do things outside in public.. its very frowned on to involve vanillas in a scene.. unknowingly or not.. for instance I remember a thread on a fetish group.. and a Master was asking if it was acceptable that his slave had said she hated him.

He had made her slap her self several times in public..

He was slated, for involving all those around ... they are not into bdsm, they dont need to be seeing it.. same as public nudity is normally kept to where its unlikely to be seen...

There are always exceptions..and I dont think the worst would be slave wetting herself.. Some slaves like cage time for instance and yes common sense says make sure that they can get out if something were to happen.. but mistakes are made.

I know some slaves that have to sleep on the floor of their Masters rooms ( I struggle to understand this side.. even being as open minded as I am) and even refused blankets as punishments.. yet these slaves seem happy to be able to serve their Masters like that..

I read many things on the various sites that make me think OMG... often I am shocked.. but that is because the type of Master/Slave relationship I have is very similar to the protective role a father takes of his child... if you take just the protection and loving side and leave aside everything else, that is how my Master is to me. He guides me, teaches me, lets me learn somethings for myself, but is there to comfort me if I make a mistake.. Yes I get punished, yes I get told off...

Its just the easiest way to describe how we are... and lets face it normally a child is pampered.. so I am a very spoilt slave.. :D

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok thanks Katie...i geddit. Your master loves you and from what you have written would not want anything bad to happen to you BUT

Its the other types of relationships i just find hard to fathom. Making someone sleep on the floor and lick up their own urine...being 'caged' (wtf) you would not treat a dog like that. Surely that master cannot love and care for that woman?

Think its my mindset..am having trouble understanding the link between causing a woman to feel like a piece of shit, licking up her wee to her enjoying it and feeling fulfilled and happy in that relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the whole "Master" thing just makes me laugh lol

I couldnt take it seriously Id be like NO make your own fuckin cup of tea

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

There are times I hurt and ache, and sob after.. I love it.. its part of us..

I can not answer for those that want treating badly.. only on my part.. the lifestyle covers such a broad amount of people.

I know many that are not permitted clothes around the house except for warm.. then it is easily accessible.. I know if the kids werent here that we would have a much stricter protacol.. but I am Mum first, Slave second.. yet the kids have benefited too... as I was the worlds most hopeless housewife before.. I am now more attentive.. and just a better mum , because I am happy and content.

I do have a few girls on my friends list on another site that do get the whole degrading thing going on.. I will ask them..

The fact is as a slave your master can do what he or she likes.. if your to sleep on the cold hard floor for back chat.. then so be it.. its a choice you make.. but my advice to those starting is always the same.. think carefully before submitting..

But how many people end up in your average abusive relationship because they just jumped in??? Huge numbers.. it takes time to get to know someone.. and this should be no different..

After all.. in some cases its your very life your putting into anothers hands ( talking breath play, knife play etc)

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Clearly there are some Masters (although I'm reluctant to use the term) who get off on inflicting pain and humiliation. Personally I think that the first thing a Master (or Mistress, not intending to dis the Dommes) needs to contol is themself. Prospective slaves need to be very very careful about the relationships they are choosing. But at the end of the day it IS a choice, and one that can be withdrawn. In that sense it's like getting a tattoo. You are making a choice that will be with you for a long time. You can change your mind, but it's going to be painful and may leave some scars...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See....and no offence intended.

Us women fought hard and long to get out of that role.

A role which degraded women and used them as merely chattels.

Like a peice of furniture shoved up the corner. Barely polished and occasionally kicked.

My dear aunt was abused all her married life by a man who thought that the marriage vows meant he now owned her and could do as he wished.

She thankfully eventually got out and met a man who deemed her his equal.

As she was and as i am to anyone i meet.

I feel that its ok in the bedroom as in role play etc but not everyday life.

the lifestyle for most as i am sure katie will tel you is not like that, what you describe is abuse no doubt about that.

look up TPE (total power exchange) and its not just women who are into this some men hand over complete control to a woman

please do not confuse this lifestyle with BDSM or Fetish play, whilst linked they are entirely different things"

I do not and never will confuse the two.

I just find it extremely hard to accept being "owned" by anyone and submitting myself to their every whim.

To ask to go out, what to wear etc is totally an alien principle to me.

If someone such as katie finds this lifestyle is for her then so be it.

To say that i have to understand it , is another thing

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Peaches...don't tell me you have never been pwned?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Just read some other things on here which make me want to scream "why" and "wtf"

slavery has been abolished ...

But it seems not in the bdsm scene

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Peaches...don't tell me you have never been pwned?"

I have and never will be owned by anyone.

I am my own person and do what i will , whenever i want to. as long as respect is shown to those around me doing so.

No man needs to own another in order to have a good life, or sex life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just read some other things on here which make me want to scream "why" and "wtf"

slavery has been abolished ...

But it seems not in the bdsm scene

That is kinda the point of being a slave.. I am owned but remember not long ago I knew nothing and found the thought of submitting to a mans every whim laughable...

I actually did Laugh and say "Really" when I found out about Master having had Slaves previously.. but somewhere along the lines it just happened that I craved that.. Dont know how, dont know when.. but it happened..

I personally would struggle if I was treated badly... but I am not..

The clothes I gave up that choice.. I chose 3 complete outfits and Master picks from the three.. I ask to come on here.. I ask to go out unless its for house stuff.. If friends pop in I just let Master know..

Those that see us on cam.. know I will be told to play, and then when Master wants me to himself told to tell the room good night.. That is all that will be said after that. I will say it and close the page.

Wouldnt cut my hair without permission, and i report back everyday what I need to do in the house, what I plan to do exercise wise ( which I have to do)

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sorry katie...No disrespect to you and yours but the mind ...my mind boggles.

I just dont and never will understand mans need to own and control and then call it love.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry katie...No disrespect to you and yours but the mind ...my mind boggles.

I just dont and never will understand mans need to own and control and then call it love.

It isnt disrespect.. but I am loved... but I get so much out of knowing that I am Masters property.. We loved one another without this side.. this just added a most amazing side to our dynamics.. and I enjoy the control side.

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Sorry katie...No disrespect to you and yours but the mind ...my mind boggles.

I just dont and never will understand mans need to own and control and then call it love.

Make us a cuppa will you? Oh and make sure you get the right buscuits!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry am just kidding. Great thread though...at least i have been enlightened but i cannot understand the making them feel like shit bit.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just to be clear on something...your kids come above all else right? So if for any reason your master asked you to do something which inadvertantly meant...not harm...but was not right for the children then it would be a flat no right?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sorry katie...No disrespect to you and yours but the mind ...my mind boggles.

I just dont and never will understand mans need to own and control and then call it love.

Make us a cuppa will you? Oh and make sure you get the right buscuits!!!!!!!!!!

Sorry am just kidding. Great thread though...at least i have been enlightened but i cannot understand the making them feel like shit bit."

I dont know what they get out of it but same could be said when I am sobbing and hurting from a session.. and I know I love it..and the feelings I get from it are amazing.. anyone doubting how turned on I get should see the state of the bed or whereever we have done some rougher play...

We limit outdoor play even though we enjoy it because someone coming across us would not be a good thing.. Last thing you want to explain is why I am being slapped and clothes torn or cut off... or why I am running crying through the woods.. So we always check out our play areas.. and tend to mostly use our home..

However, the mood takes us often unawares.. we can be cuddling and kissing one moment and I will find myself on my knees stunned the next.. and feel my body go into total overdrive and need..

Maybe these slaves that like to be treated bad get a similar feeling.. I ask, but they tell me they love to please their owners.. and that means knowing their place.

I struggle to understand feeling a lesser person to someone though, as I am always told how special I am etc...

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Along the words of the OP, I simply don't get it, but hey, if it makes them happy...then it's their choice...but definitely not for me.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to be clear on something...your kids come above all else right? So if for any reason your master asked you to do something which inadvertantly meant...not harm...but was not right for the children then it would be a flat no right?

There would be nothing that we would do that would affect the kids.. its the main reason we are careful with marks too.. although As I took up kick boxing its easier to get away with accidental marks..

My kids come first at all times.. We wouldnt even do an overly rough session with kids in the house.. Playful session with door locked after hours yes.. but a edge play session never with kids in house or even home for a few hours..

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its your lifestyle choice katie and fairplay to you.

I dont see any attraction in being subjugated,belittled, hurt, and controlled.

But then its a big wide world out there and there are lots of things i dont understand

each to their own

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Ok, some things I just don't get and to be honest this is one of them.

But can I ask? What does making you go out with no knickers on do for you to make you a better person? ( nothing wrong with going out with no knickers, btw )

When you are made to do things that you say you didn't want to do, how does that make you in control?

When your "master" slaps and marks you for being disobedient, what goes on in his head as he is hurting the person he says he loves?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hello all ........ been in from work for an hour or so ...lovely evening...might go out but my legs ache. Thank fucking God i can make my own mind up what I do.

I don't know what love is but I DO know what it isn't.

I know what confidence isn't either.

I also know that most things kept secret are kept secret for a reason.

If someone can only feel needed through this type of relationship then it's going to happen.

To the O.P. nice phrase 'gobby cow' - or was she a woman with a mind and opinions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See...thats me..the gobby cow .

If a guy was to say to me, GET OVER THERE AND SPREAD YA LEGS AND SHOVE THIS MARROW UP YA ASS.(example only and tongue in cheek)

He would still be standing there,and he would have said marrow shoved that far up his own ass he would be eating it for breakfast.

Anyone issuing orders to me about anything would get short thrift.

Ask me and it might be different.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Peaches .....

See that Melon over there ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Now are you asking nicely orrrrr

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Course I am ! Just look at my smile .....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Katies reply is very good and the love between master and slave just oozes from her posts.

Now I have been lucky to have had two famale sex slaves over the years and neither of them my wife!

It was an interesting experience for me and one I am glad I have had chance to exprience.

It is hard for someone who has not been in such a relationship to understand the bond that builds. There is total trust between master and slave.

Please do NOT take this the wrong way but the ladies trusted me so completely, I could of abused them in any way I wished and they would do it.

Both wanted to experience being made to do things that they would not normally do. This included things that were very 'fringe'

To me the bit where you said "One spent many weeks living with us and I would wake her at all times and have sex with her." you were just using her and almost abusing her trust, no way does that sound like a relationship or lifestyle i would EVER want

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't have the time to read the entire thread

If what OP said is true, I need a slave.

I'd get an extra 2 mins in bed if someone else could put the kettle on.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have the time to read the entire thread

If what OP said is true, I need a slave.

I'd get an extra 2 mins in bed if someone else could put the kettle on."

You know where the kitchen is

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't have the time to read the entire thread

If what OP said is true, I need a slave.

I'd get an extra 2 mins in bed if someone else could put the kettle on.

You know where the kitchen is

Well obviously, this one time I had to stock up the beer fridge

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Master posting this.

Its nice to see a broad range of opinions on the subject and of course like any relationship whether it be Married, gay, poly, Master and slave or anything else there will be differences depending on the individuals involved, all that really matters is that all the adults concerned consent and that everyone obeys the law of the land in which they live. We could all look at others and find fault if we put our minds to it but I prefer to live and let live, Katie is my property and I care for her as I would anything precious, she is loved and cared for as best as I can and she has learned to be the best that she can be as a mother, a wife and a lover, as I have said before I have no wish or need to justify the type of relationship I or others have, there is good and bad in all walks of life and those that choose to believe it is all abuse and beating and humiliating,are stereotyping which is frowned upon in most walks of life except this one it seems.

Masterq81 , Katies lover, friend, husband, protector but above all else her soul mate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/11 19:52:59]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Katies reply is very good and the love between master and slave just oozes from her posts.

Now I have been lucky to have had two famale sex slaves over the years and neither of them my wife!

It was an interesting experience for me and one I am glad I have had chance to exprience.

It is hard for someone who has not been in such a relationship to understand the bond that builds. There is total trust between master and slave.

Please do NOT take this the wrong way but the ladies trusted me so completely, I could of abused them in any way I wished and they would do it.

Both wanted to experience being made to do things that they would not normally do. This included things that were very 'fringe'

Yes I can understand your view. But it IS what she wanted!!

She went back to her wife (yes Wife) who was more dom then her and had they get on great.The Sub knows what to do to please her partner. Remember THEY came to me!! I didn't find them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm sorry but I just don't get it. And I hope to god the kids don't see or hear anything to think that being subjugated is acceptable and normal, and that they are being allowed to form their own opinions.

Too many women had to fight long and hard and lost their lives to escape this type of life. I respect what they did too much to ever bring myself to be any mans slave. His equal yes but never his slave.

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By *LBishCouple
over a year ago

near bury st edmunds

We dont live this lifestyle, but i personally love sexual bondage play as i call it., I am totally so not sunmissive in every day things, but so love to have what ill call bondage sex now and then. I absalutly love the humiliation side of it and to be used, and really enjoy it. But like i said its not a regular thing maybe something we do about once a month, hence i call it bondage play as thats all it is. I do however fantasise about living as a total sex object and slave and can get very dark in my thoughts. But i know 100% it is only a fantasy as would never do that lifestyle for real 24/7. Its just something i love to do once in a while. I find when i play with myself when my partner is away my thoughts always go to humiliation and bondage play.

So guess there are variouse degrees of this for different ppl.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Ok, some things I just don't get and to be honest this is one of them.

But can I ask? What does making you go out with no knickers on do for you to make you a better person? ( nothing wrong with going out with no knickers, btw )

When you are made to do things that you say you didn't want to do, how does that make you in control?

When your "master" slaps and marks you for being disobedient, what goes on in his head as he is hurting the person he says he loves?"

Can master allow katie to answer this? You seem quite happy in trying to explain your lifestyle so why I asked the questions.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

Everytime I see a certain poster mentioning 'Master' I can't stop myself from thinking of that little creature on Lord of the Rings.....

"Master hates Spiegel, he only loves the Precious"

"Bad Master......"

Sorry and not taking the pissy wissy but I can't get it out of my head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Everytime I see a certain poster mentioning 'Master' I can't stop myself from thinking of that little creature on Lord of the Rings.....

"Master hates Spiegel, he only loves the Precious"

"Bad Master......"

Sorry and not taking the pissy wissy but I can't get it out of my head.

I believe Golum is the name of the little creature you are thinking of

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Okay Firstly... Thank you Master.. your post made me go all Mmmm I love it when your so sweet.. and you know how much you mean to me....and yes, its good to see a variety of things.. those that can not understand why we enjoy it.. Most none swingers would wonder how if you love your partner you could share them... same thing.. just different way of looking at it.

"Ok, some things I just don't get and to be honest this is one of them.

But can I ask? What does making you go out with no knickers on do for you to make you a better person? ( nothing wrong with going out with no knickers, btw )

When you are made to do things that you say you didn't want to do, how does that make you in control?

When your "master" slaps and marks you for being disobedient, what goes on in his head as he is hurting the person he says he loves?"

It makes me a better person because anything where I am asked to wear things or not like that is done to boost my confidence and self esteem... It makes me feel good... That makes me a better person.

If Master asks me to do things that I am not comfy doing, there is always a reason for it.. for instance I was nutured and slowly got into accepting kissing and foreplay into playing..something before I had been against because of abuse in my past...Master didnt push in a bad way.. but it was made clear that I was expected too.. but it was done carefully... Under a very watchful eye...I like not having the control.. :D

As to how Master feels when he slaps me, proud I hope.. as its something we both enjoy... same as some people enjoy watersports.. we enjoy that.. spanking Marks I will get photos off as I love to see them fade... and those that enjoy that side of things will know what I mean about the good feeling seeing your marks there for days after gives you..

We do it because we love each other, its never done because of anger.. its done as part of our love life.. ( nothing we would do with anyone else)

"I'm sorry but I just don't get it. And I hope to god the kids don't see or hear anything to think that being subjugated is acceptable and normal, and that they are being allowed to form their own opinions."

THe kids see a very loving couple.. they know I do things for him, but mum doing things for a man is hardly new news... I cook, and I clean.. Master will help if and when needed... but to be fair.. I was brought up in a house where my dad was boss.. and everyone knew as women we were below him.. Yet I grew up and proved I was smarter than all the boys in my school, could drive as well as most of my male friends if not better.... etc etc.. I was the only girl in my house that ever dared challenge my dads authority.. oh if my mum could see me now.. :D

Most that I would do in front of the kids is sit on the floor at My Masters feet.. with my head resting on Masters lap.. but thats nothing that I wouldnt do if it was just a vanilla relationship.

"Hello all ........ been in from work for an hour or so ...lovely evening...might go out but my legs ache. Thank fucking God i can make my own mind up what I do.

I don't know what love is but I DO know what it isn't.

I know what confidence isn't either.

I also know that most things kept secret are kept secret for a reason.

If someone can only feel needed through this type of relationship then it's going to happen.

To the O.P. nice phrase 'gobby cow' - or was she a woman with a mind and opinions? "

I certain know I am loved.. and that I love unconditionally.

I am certainly confident.

Most people keep swinging a secret, despite it being nothing to be ashamed of.

I certainly dont need to have this type of relationship to feel needed... seeing as my Master and I started as a vanilla and I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he was not into bdsm and was not dominant at all.

And I am definately a woman with a strong mind and opinions.. ( if it hadnt already been noticed)

I know its not for all.. the OP asked questions that I felt I was capable of answering... its fine that some will never understand the pride and amazing sense of self worth...I have never been more confident and more secure in myself than I am now.. yet I have swapped my total independant woman lifestyle ( I used to be the mum that went to work and had a house hubby previous to this)

Now I have given over all that I have and it works for me.. some do it for play... submitting only sexually, some submitting just for humiliation, others 24/7.

I am always happy to answer.. and never take it personally when people just dont understand.. as there are things I dont understand and never will... ( we all know the things I dont understand)

We all like variety..

I am lucky to have such a wonderful Master.. as he really is my best friend, my lover, my husband and as Master says, we are true soul mates...

Katie. With her Masters consent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can master allow katie to answer this? You seem quite happy in trying to explain your lifestyle so why I asked the questions."

Master had told me I may reply.. but I had to settle the kids before coming on the site..

Katie.x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Okay Firstly... Thank you Master.. your post made me go all Mmmm I love it when your so sweet.. and you know how much you mean to me....and yes, its good to see a variety of things.. those that can not understand why we enjoy it.. Most none swingers would wonder how if you love your partner you could share them... same thing.. just different way of looking at it.

Ok, some things I just don't get and to be honest this is one of them.

But can I ask? What does making you go out with no knickers on do for you to make you a better person? ( nothing wrong with going out with no knickers, btw )

When you are made to do things that you say you didn't want to do, how does that make you in control?

When your "master" slaps and marks you for being disobedient, what goes on in his head as he is hurting the person he says he loves?

It makes me a better person because anything where I am asked to wear things or not like that is done to boost my confidence and self esteem... It makes me feel good... That makes me a better person.

We do it because we love each other, its never done because of anger.. its done as part of our love life.. ( nothing we would do with anyone else)

I get the whole spanking thing, a lot of people enjoy doing it....what I don't get is the "marks" you have to hide. They sounded a lot more sinister than spanking....so why I was asking what does your "matser" think when he is making marks on you that you have to hide.

The one thing we have in our relationship is neither of us would do something we don't want to, no matter what games we are playing, so I can't understand why you would do something like going out just in your underwear when you state you didn't want to. It doesn't make you a better person, it makes you toe the line with your master.

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By *atisfy janeWoman
over a year ago

Torquay

"Everytime I see a certain poster mentioning 'Master' I can't stop myself from thinking of that little creature on Lord of the Rings.....

"Master hates Spiegel, he only loves the Precious"

"Bad Master......"

Sorry and not taking the pissy wissy but I can't get it out of my head.

I believe Golum is the name of the little creature you are thinking of "

No it was Smeagol.....that is what he referred to as himself as when he was mumbling to himself.

Smeagol was the original name for Gollum.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is impossible to understand how it makes a sub feel to please their dominant without having that need..

It teaches me... I find I now enjoy that.. not because I am made to.. but because it got me over the initial issues..

Marks I have to hide are because others jump to the wrong conclusions.. not because I am ashamed.. I love the marks.. but you explain an accidental mark across your face..

The issue that I really have is at times I bruise without force being applied.. I often have black and blue legs.. not from anything that Master has done with me.. From kids climbing on my knee.. bump woth a shopping trolley. Shopping bags bumping my legs..

So sometimes even a playful session can look a lot worse.. but the thing is.. nothing like that is done against my wishes, I love it.. I ask for more than I am given.. but I am told that Master knows best..

Same as I would give respect to any authority figure... I give my respect to my Master.. do I see myself as lesser.. oh no no no... I am Masters property yes, but we are a couple and are totally co-linked...

Katie, with her Masters consent.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

So one last question that I don't think anyone has answered please?

What does your husband /partner feel when he is smacking you to mark your face?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

And what about your opinion and your right to vote. Do you have to submit to his way of thinking?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So one last question that I don't think anyone has answered please?

What does your husband /partner feel when he is smacking you to mark your face?"

as I said I can only answer from my point of view.. I love it..and it turns me on, I would imagine Master feels the same or he would not do it to me.

How does a man feel when he does anything sexual to his wife??? its the same thing.. as its extremely sexual for us.

katie.

and as to my right to vote.. as only been owned for 10 months I dont know.. but if I am honest.. what does it matter with the parties we have to chose from... to be fair we have similar political views, simiar outlooks..

And yes I ask before i post on here.. but what i write is all my own views and thoughts..

Katie, with her Masters consent.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Granny Crumpet

The 'gobby cow' comment was kind of made tongue in cheek. I like a woman to have opinions and her own mind and i love fesity women.

To be fair though she was an absolute nightmare to please...you didn't know her!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To be fair though she was an absolute nightmare to please...you didn't know her!!!

Us women are impossible to please.. Didnt you know that.. lol..

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can understand how some people enjoy the dom part of a relationship but only to a point.I don't mean to sound as though i am accusing anyone of any thin here, we are all different as you say. However , my sister is in a relationship that sounds quite similar to yours , i.e. her hubby picks her clothes, tells her how to wear her hair, says who she can and can't go out for a drink with the list is endless....... and i can honestly say it doesnt sit well with me regarding my sister. She feels she has do as she is told in order not to upset him, although i got to say he has never hit her. However, it appears to come under the mental abuse in her case. A situation she has been in for many many years and I now feel she actually believes that way of life is acceptable. As i said i am not judging anyone here i am just trying to understand how someone would enjoy being controlled to such an extent, i have seen my sister at her lowest and its a sad thing to see....... form someone who constantly tells her he loves her, which i doubt very much!!!!

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"So one last question that I don't think anyone has answered please?

What does your husband /partner feel when he is smacking you to mark your face?

as I said I can only answer from my point of view.. I love it..and it turns me on, I would imagine Master feels the same or he would not do it to me.

Well thanks for answering.

Obviously it would have been good if your OH answered and said why he likes to mark your face and what he is thinking as he picks up his hand to do it ( I am assuming he uses his hand )

I can't pretend that I understand all what you have posted, not just on this thread but many others.

I can understand the playing sexual, I am a bit of a sub in bed myself, but I can't understand the need for it out of the bedroom or any smacks you get because you are being disobedient.

I really couldn't be with a man who could take enjoyment in hurting me and I know that you say it is sexual, but I know my OH COULDN'T do it even if I begged him. I am really happy that he is the way he is.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

the difference between my relationship and your sisters is I consented to this.. it wasnt always like this..and I can go out, as long as I ask or tell Master that I have the invite. My friends I am encouraged to go out with.. in fact in general friends are seen as a very good part of my life..

TAke that from my ex where my friends were warned off..and while I was told I could go anywhere... yet then was made to feel bad for doing so..

I choose this.. I choose to give my Master total control..and to be fair I can not wait for work to be in such a way that we can do the full on control more often..

Like it was mentioned by someone else, I am available to my Master sexually 24/7... and that is perfectly fine..

It is hard for people that dont have the submissive side.. but when people are putting into control freak relationships.. remember I chose this and didnt start off like this.. but... when you are saying its no different to things like was mentioned..

look at it like this..

Swinging to vanillas is cheating, its infidelity... yet we all think different.. and would defend our choices...

katie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"the difference between my relationship and your sisters is I consented to this.. it wasnt always like this..and I can go out, as long as I ask or tell Master that I have the invite. My friends I am encouraged to go out with.. in fact in general friends are seen as a very good part of my life..

TAke that from my ex where my friends were warned off..and while I was told I could go anywhere... yet then was made to feel bad for doing so..

I choose this.. I choose to give my Master total control..and to be fair I can not wait for work to be in such a way that we can do the full on control more often..

Like it was mentioned by someone else, I am available to my Master sexually 24/7... and that is perfectly fine..

look at it like this..

Swinging to vanillas is cheating, its infidelity... yet we all think different.. and would defend our choices...

katie."
I appriciate what you are saying, and yes i can see that you chose this way of life to be controlled.Maybe as you said you have to be very sub to be able to fully understand your situation, and i suppose the likes of myself who aren't would not be able to conform etc.....It is however as someone else said very fascinating indeed!!!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So one last question that I don't think anyone has answered please?

What does your husband /partner feel when he is smacking you to mark your face?

as I said I can only answer from my point of view.. I love it..and it turns me on, I would imagine Master feels the same or he would not do it to me.

Well thanks for answering.

Obviously it would have been good if your OH answered and said why he likes to mark your face and what he is thinking as he picks up his hand to do it ( I am assuming he uses his hand )

I can't pretend that I understand all what you have posted, not just on this thread but many others.

I can understand the playing sexual, I am a bit of a sub in bed myself, but I can't understand the need for it out of the bedroom or any smacks you get because you are being disobedient.

Master here again just to answer briefly this.

What does anyone get out of any act that they see as sexual ? would you question a gay man what he gets from sticking his cock in another mans arse ? its called sodomy for a reason and yet to question something like this would be frowned upon and the person daring to ask such a question would be burned at the politically correct stake ( and im only using the Gay example as it was until fairly recently totally frowned upon and gays were seen as targets for abuse, and it was not so long ago an illegal act but now seen as normal by most ) so to ask what I get from slapping my slave is perhaps a question that no matter how I answer will be frowned upon by some, the fact is that Katie is never slapped for disobedience, spanked maybe, her priveledges removed maybe, given tasks to ensure that she understands her mistakes maybe, but slapped in a violent rage just because I can ? ? its a non question because it will never happen, anything that we do in our relationship is because we want to do it, Katie as I have said many times is not my slave under duress and in fact had she wanted a "normal" relationship she would have stayed with her violent abusive controlling ex husband who left her almost broken in mind and spirit, I took her and loved her and watched over her until she was strong enough to be herself, the Master slave side developed seperately and has came to where we are now,are we happy in what we do ? yes most certainly, do we love each other like any other two people could love one another ? yes I think we do, would I raise my hands to a woman outside of BDSM ? certainly not.

Masterq81

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/11 21:47:39]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I admit I myself have fantasies about being owned but know in real life I am very independent,but in the bedroom I love the idea of being controlled,I think Master and Katie both consent to the lifestyle they have and are very open about what they do,if either of them felt they were doing wrong then surely they wouldn't be so honest and answer everyones questions,they would simply hide behind closed doors as in many abusive relationships.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"So one last question that I don't think anyone has answered please?

What does your husband /partner feel when he is smacking you to mark your face?

as I said I can only answer from my point of view.. I love it..and it turns me on, I would imagine Master feels the same or he would not do it to me.

Well thanks for answering.

Obviously it would have been good if your OH answered and said why he likes to mark your face and what he is thinking as he picks up his hand to do it ( I am assuming he uses his hand )

I can't pretend that I understand all what you have posted, not just on this thread but many others.

I can understand the playing sexual, I am a bit of a sub in bed myself, but I can't understand the need for it out of the bedroom or any smacks you get because you are being disobedient.

Master here again just to answer briefly this.

Masterq81 "

No of course you wouldn't raise your hands to a woman outside of BDSM as you would be arrested for GBH.

Your definition of a "normal relationship" is wrong, it might have been what Katie had previous but violence and abuse isn't the norm for most of us in a loving relationship.

But as Katie has mentioned that you use canes, slapping,belts, crops and even a blade , marking her so she has to hide it " because people would get the wrong idea" ( do you wonder why? ) and having her face marked...(I assumed with your hands but now I am not so sure)......then personally I don't see what the difference is, both relationships used violence.

Which brings me to what Katie had said that everything you do turns you on and it is fun, but then contradicts herself by saying in answer to someone asking what punishment you dole out to her, and I quote

" I could get slapped but the slaps for punishment are different to the way we would do it when we are having fun"

That is surely saying it isn't sexual at that point and not fun.

I don't think I have my answer of what do you actually think when you are about to beat/slap/use a crop or your blade on the person you love, but thats ok and I won't ask again.

I could say what I really thought but you probably wouldn't like it, so I am leaving you to it now....but thanks for the insight.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I said a slap for fun is different from a slap for punishment.. not that I have ever been slapped for punishment

For the record.. I have never been spanked for punishment either...

Katie,x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"I said a slap for fun is different from a slap for punishment.. not that I have ever been slapped for punishment

For the record.. I have never been spanked for punishment either...

Katie,x"

How would you know they are different if you have never had them?

I did quote what you had said though and it sounded like you knew from experience.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Told you i had opened a can of the probervial wiggly things!

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

No offence, but I'm confused

"the fact is that Katie is never slapped for disobedience, spanked maybe, her priveledges removed maybe, given tasks to ensure that she understands her mistakes maybe, but slapped in a violent rage just because I can ? ? its a non question because it will never happen"

You say Katie maybe spanked / privileges, removed, etc., to make sure she understands her mistakes, do you not see that as a form of punishment?

If so, do you not see yourself as her ex, whilst that may have been a violent relationship, in my eyes, what you're doing is as bad psychologically as any violence her ex gave out.

I mean no offence with my comments, and trust you can convince me I'm wrong

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No offence, but I'm confused

the fact is that Katie is never slapped for disobedience, spanked maybe, her priveledges removed maybe, given tasks to ensure that she understands her mistakes maybe, but slapped in a violent rage just because I can ? ? its a non question because it will never happen

You say Katie maybe spanked / privileges, removed, etc., to make sure she understands her mistakes, do you not see that as a form of punishment?

If so, do you not see yourself as her ex, whilst that may have been a violent relationship, in my eyes, what you're doing is as bad psychologically as any violence her ex gave out.

I mean no offence with my comments, and trust you can convince me I'm wrong

And your degree in psychology is from where.. Mines Nottingham Trent... you are failing to get that this is consenting... I enjoy it.. and yes.. its meant to be a punishment that is the point... Men and women punish their other halfs all the time.. far worse.. they sulk, the huff, they do things to get back at them.. thats all punishments... at least when I have learnt its done, and over with. Doesnt rear its head 6 months down the line..

and guess what.. I was just thinking.. we dont even really argue.. occassionally maybe disagree on something.. but I just give my view, hear masters and thats it.. done, dealt with and gone..

katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 25/03/11 22:50:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How would you know they are different if you have never had them?

I did quote what you had said though and it sounded like you knew from experience."

I was in an abusive relationship for most of my early years..I know the difference.. master has never, nor would he ever raise his hand to me in anger.. I do however get punished.. I was asked what could be used.. not what is..

Belts yes, but those into spanking will tell you that its lovely..

canes ( I do hate them in a love hate kinda way)

The knife play is something thats always controlled.. its exciting.. pleasurable.. sexy, and erotic.

My face only ever gets a hand.. but as I said earlier.. I have a condition which can mean that slight contact can leave me with a huge bruise.. there are times its so bad if I lay on something in my sleep ( kids toy or something thats been left under the duvet) I will have a bruise thats massive next day.

My relationship before was not normal..I know this.... I was so broken when Master and I met and became friends, the fell in love, then became what we are now... but our relationship on the husband and wife side is perfectly loving and affectionaite.. we have total trust, we communicate more than most couples we know and are happy.......would we want normal.. hell no, we have to much fun.

Katie.x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

As I say, I quoted what you had posted, which implied you knew the difference already in your relationship with your OH....as you were answering a question of what happens when you are punished in your relationship now.

I can only go on what was written.

There is no need to explain anymore, I was just pointing out the contradiction.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So one last question that I don't think anyone has answered please?

What does your husband /partner feel when he is smacking you to mark your face?

as I said I can only answer from my point of view.. I love it..and it turns me on, I would imagine Master feels the same or he would not do it to me.

Well thanks for answering.

Obviously it would have been good if your OH answered and said why he likes to mark your face and what he is thinking as he picks up his hand to do it ( I am assuming he uses his hand )

I can't pretend that I understand all what you have posted, not just on this thread but many others.

I can understand the playing sexual, I am a bit of a sub in bed myself, but I can't understand the need for it out of the bedroom or any smacks you get because you are being disobedient.

Master here again just to answer briefly this.

Masterq81

No of course you wouldn't raise your hands to a woman outside of BDSM as you would be arrested for GBH.

Your definition of a "normal relationship" is wrong, it might have been what Katie had previous but violence and abuse isn't the norm for most of us in a loving relationship.

" I could get slapped but the slaps for punishment are different to the way we would do it when we are having fun"

That is surely saying it isn't sexual at that point and not fun.

I don't think I have my answer of what do you actually think when you are about to beat/slap/use a crop or your blade on the person you love, but thats ok and I won't ask again.

I could say what I really thought but you probably wouldn't like it, so I am leaving you to it now....but thanks for the insight."

You are free to think what you like, I would never justify what I do to anyone, I will happily explain things as they are and people can accept, disagree or say what they like, like anything else in life we all have a choice, some of us choose to be swingers, some of us choose to be in a Master slave relationship, you think its wrong I think its right, you have your opinions and I have mine, there are things that people do sexually that I could never want to do and in fact make me feel physicaly sick, would I say they are wrong to do what they do because I disagree with it ? no I would say that is their choice, does Katie have a choice to be my slave ? of course she does, is Katie a healthy happy individual with a loving caring partner ? ask anyone who knows her, the best judge of who we are is the person who we choose to spend our lives with, what may seem wrong to you will undoubtedly seem right to others, thats what makes us individuals.

Masterq81

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"And your degree in psychology is from where.. Mines Nottingham Trent... "

As an anonymous forum, I'm not accountable to you or anyone else on here what qualifications I have and where they were obtained

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And your degree in psychology is from where.. Mines Nottingham Trent...

As an anonymous forum, I'm not accountable to you or anyone else on here what qualifications I have and where they were obtained

It was meant as in to remind you that when your stating that you can see psychological issues... but if that is the case.. why are we accountable to answer why we like it and what we enjoy....... Its just a case of if not qualified dont state things.. Between Master and I we are well qualified in that area... and you failed to answer the rest of the post..

Now I am not being funny.. but do my posts ever read as a downtrodden door mat... that has no mind of her own...???

Just wondering as I really do have to try not to be to open with my replies..

Rough sex is just something that I enjoy... along with an intimacy that is amazing.. I think its a case of unless you have met us.. dont try to judge us...

I do think its a little sad how some have decided to make it a "your a wife beater thread to my Master" when the question was about why... and I answered all the questions honestly and openly.. As I have nothing to hide..

To all... if you had to justify your swinging to someone who thought it was disgusting, its wrong, its immoral.. its damaging to the womans mental health.. as lets face it most assume us women arent doing it for us....Which most think outside this world...

How would you deal with it..???

Katie.x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"So one last question that I don't think anyone has answered please?

What does your husband /partner feel when he is smacking you to mark your face?

as I said I can only answer from my point of view.. I love it..and it turns me on, I would imagine Master feels the same or he would not do it to me.

Well thanks for answering.

Obviously it would have been good if your OH answered and said why he likes to mark your face and what he is thinking as he picks up his hand to do it ( I am assuming he uses his hand )

I can't pretend that I understand all what you have posted, not just on this thread but many others.

I can understand the playing sexual, I am a bit of a sub in bed myself, but I can't understand the need for it out of the bedroom or any smacks you get because you are being disobedient.

You state that everything was started in a almost casual manner in that you became to accept what was happening and began to trust what was happening.

Isnt that same way as just being controlled.?

Those in abusive relationships may see a similarity because over time the one being abused begins to accept it as being the norm.

Maybe thats why we on the outside read it differently to those partaking.

I dont mind being slightly sub in the bedroom and it wont ever be allowed to progress to being hit. so as to leave marks etc.

I suppose we all have our lines in which we dont cross.

Some are longer than others

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will add, that you have both been very honest in your answers and tried to answer all the questions.

Its been an intersting topic

thanks

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"Its just a case of if not qualified dont state things.."

Talk about irony, go take a look a your comments on threads re homosexuals, whilst not breaking site rules, one doesn't have to be “educated” to read between the lines.

As for your thread, I don't particularly like your comments on most threads, so guess it's time I bowed out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I will actually bow out of answering and for the following reasons.

I am always happy to answer and answer honestly and openly to a direct question that I can give my side on because I understand what is being asked..

I will even to some extent answer the more personal ones.. but when it gets that people have to get to accusations and veiled threats of what they really want to say I think its gone past discussion...

This thread was on why, how and wherefores.. those without any understanding can voice their views.. but I do not think the personal comments were required..

I am always happy to answer as I am proud to be my Masters slave.. as my family well knows.. and they well sceptical at first, now see the positive changes in me... and are happy to see the glowing, positive, happy me that has emerged..

So if people think I am dodging questions then no.. its simply I have answered enough... and I will not have my Masters name blackened by a few that can not see the obvious that I am happy and not abused.. I cant answer for all the slaves out there.. JUST ME!

Katie. Proud to be owned and collared slave of her Master.

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By *acquiesubWoman
over a year ago

birmingham

Thank you to the OP for this very interesting and informative thread. I have an interest in sub/dom but not a life style choice, more of a play time thing and not always my only choice of play. But this thread has been truly entertaining and informative. TY for asking the (in my opinion) very sensible question

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its when it becomes TOO personal ,well thats when it all goes down the pan.

Ive enjoyed all sides to this debate.

Most interesting

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Just to clarify...there has been no veiled threats, no personal attacks and no insults on this thread.

A debate was all I see.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Its when it becomes TOO personal ,well thats when it all goes down the pan.

Ive enjoyed all sides to this debate.

Most interesting

weve seen a few posts but wouldnt want to get involved.

there are sub people in the bedroom but as a lifestyle choice being dominated we can only wonder why?

but each to their own and if it works for them then good luck

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

"This thread was on why, how and wherefores.. those without any understanding can voice their views.. but I do not think the personal comments were required..."

Did you not make it personal with this comment?

"she would have stayed with her violent abusive controlling ex husband who left her almost broken in mind and spirit"

There was no requirment for that information

As you say, it was based on:

"This thread was on why, how and wherefores.. "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Goodness........this has grown! can't be bothered reading all the arguements/replies...so as before, I will say, I just don't get it! I really don't but hey ho after a few drinks, who cares as long as you are all happy!! hehe...

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By *mf4BxJCouple
over a year ago

edinburgh

Katie and Master can I just say it's been fascinating to get this insight into your life. I've been so intruiged and the lifestyle sounds fascinating.

Katie you sound like a very independent and strong woman who has chosen a lifestyle. You handle criticism well and the insighty ou have given me into this relationship has been really intersting. Thanks.

Beth xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thanks for sharing Master and Katie. I have a better idea of what the lifestyle entails. I've always wanted to know but been to shy to ask!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"And your degree in psychology is from where.. Mines Nottingham Trent...

As an anonymous forum, I'm not accountable to you or anyone else on here what qualifications I have and where they were obtained

I was going to ask why that comment was deemed necessary.

I've read and re read and it's just totally unecessary. The only blight on what has been an open discussion. The only tit for tat remark.

It's usually a sign that someone is losing reason when they have to hit out at others.

A degree means someone studied for a degree and managed to accrue the desired number of marks to pass.

It doesn't give them the remotest smidge of expertise in a field though some may think it gives them sufficient moral highground to attempt to demean those they are losing to.

Bad form. No excuses.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/03/11 07:09:53]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

To KATIE + master.

I admire , to a degree , your style of answering.

I agree with much of what you say in relation to you both accepting how you conduct yourselves sexually and lovingly. The terms belong to both of you. Deal done.

Without any real knowledge or research by myeself ( yet ) I would argue that the physical 'punishments' meeted out to the female are illegal. Or would be if reported; although I see no reason at all that they should be reported given that it's all mutually agreed.

I have no real interest in your sex life but then I don't have an interest in most people's sex lives unless I want sex with them.

There is always a fleeting interest when something different becomes apparent but one partner being more dominant than the other is nothing new in the universe.

A benefit of having different partners is always the shift in dynamic. To be either sub or dom for eternity would pall with most after a while. If it suits you for now -

It's consenting. So no one need worry ? I don't think so. Just how far should people keep their noses out ? When the sub shows a few bruises ? When they are audibly crying for an hour ? When the dom has started taking little strips of skin off ? When the tip of a little finger is missing ? When the sons demand that the daughters do everything for them ? Shit that last one scares me so much. Is it really no one elses business because two adults say it's okay? Anyone believing that children are unaware of relationships and dynamics are blind. It's so very easy to fool yourself as well.

Again. I am not speaking entirely about you or your relationship. It's pretty mediocre as that type of partnership goes. At that point I mean relationships in general.

Katie , you state yourself that your father was domineering and your mother was subjugated during their relationship. You in turn chose the same type of man for a partner ( classic , i'm sure you will agree given your enormous educational qualifications ) When you were finally free of your ex ( i'd wager he left you or had affairs ) you went straight for the same type of man again. That you state it's all mutually agreed makes not a jot of difference. Years of not being able to function as a confident sentient being makes you look for someone to lean on. That for me is not condemnation it's a possible fact of your lifelong conditioning.

For someone who pushes psychology in the faces of others as irrefutable proof you conveniently miss that point.

Your description of your relationship sits fine with me and probably many others. I might believe that you were there of your own free will if it wasn't for your years of training. Granted this current relationship seems better on the surface than your previous. You feel secure that your partner loves you and no one has the right or knowledge to refute that. You have given over control of your life but exactly how much of it in reality is due to true 'free will' rather than experiential conditioning?

Truly - if your partner is dominant and wants to be , that's all that needs saying. If you are subservient to him and want to be there is no more to be said.

Why do people say things then ? I can only imagine that it's the provocative labels you enjoy wearing.

I find it difficult to believe most of what you say Katie. NOT that i think you lie. Not that it's unbelievable. It's that you go to pained lengths to explain how you have to ask to do everything ( except housework - that cracked me up - master is truly hilarious in his guise ) and as you have to ask what to wear, what to say etc then you have little credence in any public arena as I believe you are told what to say. To deny that wouldn't sit well with the rest of what you want people to accept.

Thanks for the insights. Very clearly put xx Gran xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and as to my right to vote.. as only been owned for 10 months I dont know.. but if I am honest.. what does it matter with the parties we have to chose from... ."

I cannot believe I'm reading that you think it doesn't matter whether you can have your own vote or not!

However I can see that this topic is something I will never understand nor do I wish too.

So I am going to wish everyone in this kind of relationship good luck and leave it at that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Granny, relax. That slave was being accused of being in a psychologically abusive relationship. You say there was tit for tat - kind of implies there was tat.

There has been what appears to me to be a certain slant to parts of this conversation that heads into the territory of accusation. I hope that it was unintentional, but I can understand how that has made people defensive. Imagine if the same approach was taken against a gay couple... This is clearly an area of sexuality that isn't well understood (O/s, not gay!) so there are genuine questions: thanks to the slave Katie and her Master for taking the time to answer them. Remember that they are just individuals, not spokespeople...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Granny, relax. That slave was being accused of being in a psychologically abusive relationship. You say there was tit for tat - kind of implies there was tat.

I'm perfectly relaxed. If you need to blacken my contribution by attempting to create a persona for me that doesn't exist then maybe you need to relax.

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

I've read this thread with interest from the start but haven't commented until now.

Granny - You said what I was thinking, so thanks for saving me typing all that out

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well you owe me thimbles for thore fumbs

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"well you owe me thimbles for thore fumbs "

I will put some in the post to you today

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Totally agree with your comment Granny about the domineering father bit, whatever happens in childhood can very much determine what happens in adulthood, I know that as my first real relationship was a man very similar to my step father, took me counselling and years to see that, hence I am alone now as much too scared to commit to a relationship

but on the other hand strong enough to know that D/S really isnt the kind of relationship I would want....EVER

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Master will often use pain as a method of control, torture and/or pleasure depending on his slave. This pain can be physical, mental or emotional and can be so intense it takes his slave to subspace.

Master knows everything about his slave and is capable of controlling her thoughts, actions and feelings - this is how much he is capable of owning her.

Master holds both position of God and Devil simultaneously to his slave. He is capable of filling his slave with so much happiness and so much pain .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Written by Master number 3,402 and not as good as master number 1's pleading tome.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Master will often use pain as a method of control, torture and/or pleasure depending on his slave. This pain can be physical, mental or emotional and can be so intense it takes his slave to subspace.

Master knows everything about his slave and is capable of controlling her thoughts, actions and feelings - this is how much he is capable of owning her.

Master holds both position of God and Devil simultaneously to his slave. He is capable of filling his slave with so much happiness and so much pain ."

Sorry Game but I've never heard such rubbish in all my life, Master controls her thoughts, utter crap

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Master knows everything about his slave and is capable of controlling her thoughts, actions and feelings - this is how much he is capable of owning her.

Master holds both position of God and Devil simultaneously to his slave. He is capable of filling his slave with so much happiness and so much pain ."

Where did you copy this from Game?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am into all this myself but .. feel theres a fine line ..... and some can cross this very easy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fine. x Where did you copy that from ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Fine. x Where did you copy that from ?"
Rules of Slavery i have not been reading all the posts here just the OP post . Somthing i have been into for years on and of and its finding the right people .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sure is finding the right people Jo xx

And when you find the right people things go fantastically!

That's true for everyone.

The book you are reading is one man's idea and not tested evidence. It can't be put up as fact but I'll accept as a fact that there are many people who enjoy this as part of their sex lives. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sure is finding the right people Jo xx

And when you find the right people things go fantastically!

That's true for everyone.

The book you are reading is one man's idea and not tested evidence. It can't be put up as fact but I'll accept as a fact that there are many people who enjoy this as part of their sex lives. x"
When i was a samaritan i come across some woman who was so hurt from all this .. I see it for me as just fourplay but some live there lives like this why i say theres a fine line and people need to play safe and trust each other. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Sure is finding the right people Jo xx

And when you find the right people things go fantastically!

That's true for everyone.

The book you are reading is one man's idea and not tested evidence. It can't be put up as fact but I'll accept as a fact that there are many people who enjoy this as part of their sex lives. xWhen i was a samaritan i come across some woman who was so hurt from all this .. I see it for me as just fourplay but some live there lives like this why i say theres a fine line and people need to play safe and trust each other. x"

Thing is Jo I could tell you were quoting from someone else, it wasn't you. None of us have the right to condemn what CONSENTING adults get up to. Likewise I don't see why some people feel the need to justify their lifestyle and be dismissive to the point of rudeness to those that don't understand their lifestyle choices.

I like to be in control of all aspects of my life. I don't have a psychology degree or sought a therapist to know my need for such control is not "natural". If I shared personal details of my life on an open forum I am intelligent enough to recognise others might have "issues" and call me on them. I hope I'd have the fortitude to answer without being patronising.

Personally I get excited when playmates are aroused when I "hurt" them. Wasabi as lube is different to cutting with knives for me: others may see no difference.

It's all about what works for individuals. I don't drag unsuspecting men off the street to torture them for my own pleasure, they come freely, often bearing gifts!

Each to their own, horses for courses...you know the drill!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"To KATIE + master.

I admire , to a degree , your style of answering.

I agree with much of what you say in relation to you both accepting how you conduct yourselves sexually and lovingly. The terms belong to both of you. Deal done.

A benefit of having different partners is always the shift in dynamic. To be either sub or dom for eternity would pall with most after a while. If it suits you for now -

It's consenting. So no one need worry ? I don't think so. When the sons demand that the daughters do everything for them ? Shit that last one scares me so much. Is it really no one elses business because two adults say it's okay? Anyone believing that children are unaware of relationships and dynamics are blind. It's so very easy to fool yourself as well.

Thanks for the insights. Very clearly put xx Gran xx

I was not going to reply... but when replies are of a personal nature.. although actually I accept its not in malice.. I feel that I must reply..

I am going to deal with the bit about my lack of own thoughts in my replies.. I have had several messages from people that know me on here today telling me that its laughable..anyone that knows me knows full well that I speak my mind... and Master could tell you that holding my tongue is not my best feature.. ( yes even with Master at times, although being that being that Master/slave is only part of our relationship, albeit a big part, it makes for amusement at times)

Now I have cropped the post I am replying to.. save space and all that..

I will answer the last paragraph first.

If I were to ask each and every time I wanted to do normal household things it would become a right royal pain in the arse.. Master while at work is extremely busy...and we would rather spend the time we get in the day discussing much nicer things.

The clothing..I have said time and time again that I asked for this after reading about TPE(total power exchance) and "I" pick 3 outfits, then Master makes the final choice.. Now yes I could be clever and pick two horrid ones and then think aha, Master will pick the one I want to wear... but no.. Master would see through that in an instant and I would be stuck wearing something that makes me look like a baglady lol So I find three outfits I want to wear..

The reason I wanted to do this is at the moment as my profile clearly states, Work takes Master away a lot... It gives me a way to carry on Submitting even over distance.. Not so much about Master wanting to dictate my every move.

Now I have never said I have to ask what to say.. To come online yes I send a quick text, or ask "can I pop online for a bit"... ( as most realise, I cant often be refused as I am always on here) Again something I asked for because when Master isnt away it gives me away to feel I submit... as over distance that can be hard.. and while our normal relationship doesnt suffer.. extra effort is required to keep the M/S side active.

If its not family or house related.. Ie I want to go to my friends or kids coffee morning.. again I will just say.. "Is it okay to go ......"

Things on fab we always do together.. I to be fair look through the profiles and if its just a guy for me will refuse if I dont fancy them... but if I do.. then I ask Master opinion...normally I am told go for it.. If its a couple or a woman that we will meet together Master is much more involved.. but isnt that just a swinging couple thing??? rather than M/s thing..

Oh and in swinging, I always when playing ask at the start may I?

I do on the fetish sites ask if a dominant man messages me but thats because its bad ettiquette for them to message me direct.. on those sites they are meant to contact my Master first.. as thats how it is done on there..

I went to the Derby social not so long back... and well.. think those people are testiment for the fact that unless you had read this posts or got close enough to see my collar you wouldnt realise that I was a slave.. I dont walk around failing to make eye contact with people etc.

The reason that my replies on this post were about the m/s side was because that was what was asked..

Now to the one about me being with someone like my Father.. now a) as my dad rocks, that wouldnt be a bad thing..

and b) My dad wasnt so much dominant as old school man works, woman at home, pats kids on the head.. And he was the boss... which as my dad had me in his late 40s I am not really that shocked at. I would always complain to my friends that my parents were to strict.. and I totally rebelled.. HOwever we are talking 6pm bedtimes at 12 lol My dad did always say that womens place was in the home.. but as he is 87 now.. that is what he was brought up to believe.. I grew up with some very strong female role models..and aspired to be like them..( my mums best friend was a very independant woman who I rememeber wanting to be the first time she turned up with toyboy and 911 and gucci wear... She was fantastic, my second mum)

Now as to Master being like my ex.. as different as chalk and cheese.. but I cant explain to far as its against forum rules..

My Ex is not dominant.. the way he got me to be in the mess I was in when I became Friends with my Master was that after having my daughter I got serious PND.. anyone who has suffered with this will know it can mess you up big time. For the first time my ex was faced with me no longer being confident and sure of myself..and he used that.. We got into swinging, and it was horrible. I now realise just how much he used me to get what he wanted... If I even looked at other men I would be called names... it got me to the state I didnt do anything.. My reason for saying this is.. UNTIL this.. I was always the dominant person in my household. and this was only the last 4-6 years of the relationship.. He even then wasnt dominant.. he was just malicious.. I could go out.. but would be hounded for it..so I didnt bother.. My friends wouldnt come over as he was so off with them..and they could see what he was doing.. I even got moved away from my close friends and made to change my numbers... It was just not a good time..My ex also knew I loved sex and would deny it.. choosing to wank in the bathroom rather than have me.. or other things that I am not permitted to say due to forum rules.. And that was in the end why he left... although I was saving to leave anyway.. just saved me the bother.

However, I got talking to my Master and over time we became friends, as it developed we realised there was more to it,but behaved while I was still married. Then my ex and I seperated... and everything blossomed from there.. we old school dated to be honest, letters, poems, emails, calls, silly things.. it was really nice.. anyway long story short we fell in love and was very happy.. but as you learn about people you begin to find out more and more. I was curious about the m/s thing..as didnt know much..although had come across it a little when working with couples and when working with domestic abuse victims. ( see I do know women do get abused from it at times)

The more I found.. the more I realised that it suited me... However, one of the things that my Master first noticed and loved about me was my ability to speak my mind... and my hidden fire that was just a smoulder when we first met due to the abuse I suffered at my exs hands...... but I chose to explore the dom/sub side.. and it has only been the last 10 months.. as any that chose this lifestyle will tell you.. at first you find it hard.. the first time I was "told off" I wanted to scream and say " go find someone that can do as she is told then".. dont get me wrong, there are still times I want to scream... but not often as I pride myself on naturally knowing what my husband wants from me.. Actually I am very good at it..

As for the comment on the kids, yes kids see things, but all they see here is a happy mum, a loving step father... and two people that are still sickenly ( according to my single friends) in love... We are like a pair of lovesick teenagers apparently.. and actually I would tend to agree at times.. We have a great laugh... even playtimes when we are meant to be serious can erupt into a fit of giggles, which luckily for us is never in a fetish club..

But in my house my girls are actually the ones in charge.. lol to even think that my sons would boss my daughters about, it makes me smile.. because well like me, my girls are not very submissive.. ( remember my submission is to one only even sexually) They dont see me kneeling for my Master, they dont hear any spankings ( as they are not here) they just benefit from me being happy and secure, and confident.

My kids school reports on them being confident and independant is a testiment to that.

So while we are serious in our commitment to one another.. and yes we have what most would call serious sides to our sexual side.. we dont take life to seriously...

I didnt understand the variety bit as I have huge variety in play partners..Men I choose.. As unlike my ex, Master likes me to fancy my playmates and find a chemistry... and its a great thing for me swinging now.. where as before I would dread it...

The thing on this that I found rather insulting was the bit that I was groomed, yes I know the term.. because we were friends first.. and it was my curiousity that led us to where we are now.. In fact we have somethings that Master refuses point blank to entertain with me, because he does not feel it would be in my best interest....

We didnt begin our Master slave side till I was back to being my usual confident, full of myself, outspoken self... even my family notices the positive changes.. my whole demeanor for the last few years had them woried.. I was not the happy bubbly person that would always be the one that had the debates.. the one that was centre of attention, life and soul of the party.. it just all stopped... and now.. well now I am just me again..

I dont mind that people do not understand that some of us like to have pain from time to time.. I do not mind that some fail to see why people wish to submit in this way.. what I do mind is when I am told I am not able to speak my own mind.. now on this forum I am perhaps a little more formal with my tones... but on others we are just a playful couple that get up to lots of mischief.. although we hide it no where that we are m/s.... although on some they think we are winding them up..

If this question had been about how does swinging fit into your relationship, my answers would have been much different and would have more explained the loving and tender side that we share.. but as it was on m/s. So my answers reflected MOSTLY that side.

The thing is.. If I am poorly.. My Master behaves as any other Husband would.. I get sent to bed and am looked after... Because he loves me... he doesnt want me poorly.. doesnt want me making myself more ill running around after the kids.. doing the house etc etc. Its all well and good to pick on what you percieve as the negatives, but you can not just have that side..

Those that meet us both socially and for play, get a much better insight into how we are as a couple, and then realise that to be fair, I am a well pampered and looked after lady, that is given my ever desire... Is lucky enough to have someone that shares my desires and needs in a sexual manner, and we are very much on level peggings on the way we think...

I have had lots of messages this morning in pm from people seeing they do not think its fair that we should have to justify our relationship in the way we do.. but in answering questions like this we do leave ourselves open for detailed critque of our relationship. But as I am quite capable of answering in a calm and collected way, despite sometimes knowing the little digs are there.. but its rising above them that is the key.

I think it is fine that some fail to see why those of us that chose this lifestyle do... but its a personal choice between two adults that are in a happy and loving and fulfilling relationship in our case...

Katie. x

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

Just to clarify, I only see a question and answer thing going on, no digs at all.

No one had to answer anything, but they did, so debate will normally follow...as it did.

Everyone is allowed to comment wether it is what others want to hear or not.

Not everyone will understand how others live their life, but if people don't want it discussed, then maybe it best not to keep talking about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to clarify, I only see a question and answer thing going on, no digs at all.

No one had to answer anything, but they did, so debate will normally follow...as it did.

Everyone is allowed to comment wether it is what others want to hear or not.

Not everyone will understand how others live their life, but if people don't want it discussed, then maybe it best not to keep talking about it.

Thats whats great about this country ... freedom of speach

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just to clarify, I only see a question and answer thing going on, no digs at all.

No one had to answer anything, but they did, so debate will normally follow...as it did.

Everyone is allowed to comment wether it is what others want to hear or not.

Not everyone will understand how others live their life, but if people don't want it discussed, then maybe it best not to keep talking about it.

SO my husband being told he's a wife beater isn't personal. It's funny if the comments levied at myself and my master were put to someone who had a different sexual orientation this thread would have been stopped. I'm perfectly capable of answering honestly, and do not mind doing so but this thread has had personal criticisms... as any can plainly read.

I am proud of what my lifestyle entails... and will always answer where possible from my point of view. I don't even mind if the lifestyle is judged. IT'S when accusations okay more insinuations are made that I'm abused, or know no better, or do it because I need someone. As they are slurs on character...

It to be fair is water off a ducks back.. as those that matter to me, understand and support me. What worries me is those that enjoy the lifestyle as more than a kink, reading that its easier to hide away.

THis than makes it easier for the actually abusers in the guise of a MAster to get away with cruelty because it all gets totally hidden. I know from the support I get in pm on threads like this that this site contains many that totally understand where I'm coming from.... but admit they fear backlash.

For every anti post on here, i know from chats with other members that find it insightful and educational. So if it helps one person understand then its worth it.

Katie x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I can understand how some people enjoy the dom part of a relationship but only to a point.I don't mean to sound as though i am accusing anyone of any thin here, we are all different as you say. However , my sister is in a relationship that sounds quite similar to yours , i.e. her hubby picks her clothes, tells her how to wear her hair, says who she can and can't go out for a drink with the list is endless....... and i can honestly say it doesnt sit well with me regarding my sister. She feels she has do as she is told in order not to upset him, although i got to say he has never hit her. However, it appears to come under the mental abuse in her case. A situation she has been in for many many years and I now feel she actually believes that way of life is acceptable. As i said i am not judging anyone here i am just trying to understand how someone would enjoy being controlled to such an extent, i have seen my sister at her lowest and its a sad thing to see....... form someone who constantly tells her he loves her, which i doubt very much!!!!"

To me the fundamental dif is that your sister has just mental cruelty NO LOVE

A master gives lots of love but also give the other side of the coin.

The slave knows they ae loved and will get love from master.

With regards to hitting a lady in anger, NEVER!!!!

Yes I have slapped and pinched etc. But this was in play with the lady asking for it.

My wife does not like anything like that (but sh does enjoy her ass slapped whilst being fuckd! lol).

It is not something I would ever think of doing anything like that unless asked.

xxx

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

"Just to clarify, I only see a question and answer thing going on, no digs at all.

No one had to answer anything, but they did, so debate will normally follow...as it did.

Everyone is allowed to comment wether it is what others want to hear or not.

Not everyone will understand how others live their life, but if people don't want it discussed, then maybe it best not to keep talking about it.

For every anti post on here, i know from chats with other members that find it insightful and educational. So if it helps one person understand then its worth it.

Katie x "

I didn't see anyone say he is a wife beater?

I will go through the posts again incase I missed something, it might take a while though.

Forums are for discussing, if you are going to put personal things on here, people will discuss them....and not always in agreement with you.

You surely must have come across people not understanding your lifestyle and because it is alien to them won't understand it?

I am glad you are getting the justification needed in your PM box, and if those people want to join in a serious debate then I am sure they can see for themselves that this has been just that.

Plenty of people have thanked you for the insight, including us, but it doesn't mean anyone has to change their mind of what they think, just like you don't have to change what suits you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Is there ever a thread of the year award?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Is there ever a thread of the year award?"

Yes but it usually goes to a non mysoginist

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

find it sad haveing to be controlled from anyone is not gd at all weather in sex or real life .

still comes across as abuse in my eyes ,yes i have been there and got out of it 2 alive lucky for me .

master ,slave thing is just control in my eyes prehaps only way in life they can get it very sad but then am alound to say as its free right of speech .

what works for others dn t work for us all to me i say its control .dnt do control freaks to be honest with you .

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By *i 1 Get 1 FreeCouple (MM)
over a year ago

birmingham

There are some, no necessarily on this thread, who’ve suffered years of “abuse” both physical and psychological in what they would refer to as a “loving relationship” to the extent it becomes part of their everyday life, for reasons unknown to us, it gives them some form of security, without the “control” they feel exposed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Wow this has been a fascinating thread. Congratulations to the OP and for Katie and Master and others for their input, always fascinating to see both sides of a topic.

Katie, don’t take things too personally, I’m a married woman playing away, when the married/cheating subject has been raised in the forum, you are one of the first to have a go, despite not having any knowledge of individuals particular personal circumstances.

We have to show our strength; sometimes fewer words mean more and take everyone’s point of view on the chin.

Sassy is so, so right – each to their own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wow this has been a fascinating thread. Congratulations to the OP and for Katie and Master and others for their input, always fascinating to see both sides of a topic.

We have to show our strength; sometimes fewer words mean more and take everyone’s point of view on the chin.

Sassy is so, so right – each to their own

Thank you for what has been said.. I have replied in private but I really do think you have me mistaken with someone else.. as most on here know I have no issue with Married and cheating and often stand up for those that are.. as its there business..

I even went as far in one thread to suggest that rarely does a person cheat for no reason.. 90% of my playmates are married.. so I really do think you have me mistaken with someone else.

It is very much each to their own, but this thread asked specific questions that a few could reply to from a knowledgable point of view. So I replied... my contining replies were either further specific questions.. or things put to us that needed answering..

There will always be people that think what we do is abuse.. same as there will always be those that think that swinging is infidelity... we chose our life styles be it to swing, be how Master and I are, to be bi, gay, or even those that pick to vows of chasity because it is what suits us...

I dont really take it that personally as I know trying to explain that I enjoy being on my knees and slapped.. ( rarely leaving marks I may add) will always raise eyebrows..

But for me, hiding in the dark leaves this lifestyle to open for the actual control freak abusers to hide within it... a little more openness and it becomes much harder for them..

That is actually one of my reasons for being so open and honest.. and I know that to be fair.. there are some in the lifestyle that do things that make me think why.. But it is there choice...

I personally dont think that if at the start Master had said to me, you will not see friends or family, you will not do ANYTHING without asking, that I would have submitted.. as I like living my life..

2 years ago.. I would have been on the fence about this lifestyle...

Now I know there are a few on here that think I am homophobic.. but my bi and gay friends would tell you that while it isnt my thing... I never treat them any different.. although they do like to make me pull faces at times over things.. but we are good friends..

Its the same with this... I dont understand all the reasons they like what they do, I dont understand couples wanted seperate rooms or totally without the partner meets.. but it works for them... This works for us... and my answers are because I was asked.. sometime by name for an answer.

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"See....and no offence intended.

Us women fought hard and long to get out of that role.

A role which degraded women and used them as merely chattels.

Like a peice of furniture shoved up the corner. Barely polished and occasionally kicked.

My dear aunt was abused all her married life by a man who thought that the marriage vows meant he now owned her and could do as he wished.

She thankfully eventually got out and met a man who deemed her his equal.

As she was and as i am to anyone i meet.

I feel that its ok in the bedroom as in role play etc but not everyday life.

What works for one person can not necessarily be applied to another and this is where the whole thing went wrong in the past. Men who had problems themselves abused the trust and responsiblity which society laid upon them. Not all men can meet the qualities required to fulfill this role satisfactorily, so it cannot be a relationship which can be adopted universally.

I am a confident and assertive woman as is, I believe, Katy and I believe she is very fortunate to have found a man who does come "up to the mark". With the right man I could happy adopt a similar role. I am sure there are many advantages on both sides and they seem to complement each other perfectly.

The difference your example is that the women you refer to had this role "imposed" by society, they had no choice. In our day most women have the opportunity to look after themselves and have no obligation to look to a man to live. Therefore if they wish to enter such a relationship it is entirely our choice.

I understand your comment however and it is not an arrangement I would like to see "imposed" generally again. I think this is a reasonable worry on our part.

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By *ustyWoman
over a year ago

inverclyde

my ex hubby mentally abused me by telling me what to wear, most of the time he just wanted me to dress like a whore, told me what to do etc, if i didnt then it caused a real argument in the end i left him as i was so miserable that even my friends were to afraid to come to my house for a coffee and he would arrange meets for me without me knowing it, in the end i left him as he made me ill and i was frightened for my daughter as she saw how it was affecting me as a person and my health, now i am happily divorced and living away from him with our daughter she is happy as well and thats what counts

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"my ex hubby mentally abused me by telling me what to wear, most of the time he just wanted me to dress like a whore, told me what to do etc, if i didnt then it caused a real argument in the end i left him as i was so miserable that even my friends were to afraid to come to my house for a coffee and he would arrange meets for me without me knowing it, in the end i left him as he made me ill and i was frightened for my daughter as she saw how it was affecting me as a person and my health, now i am happily divorced and living away from him with our daughter she is happy as well and thats what counts"

I had similar before.. but if I wore anything revealing I was told I was a tart.. or did I know what a state I looked.. our real problems started because being into cars and bikes, most of my friends were young, rather nice guys.. and I got a lot of male attention. He would arrange meets.. in fact that last thing he tried to do was set up a 3sum with two black guys, saying I would love it.. he knew my preferencs.. and said a few drinks and I wouldnt notice.... Which well.. is so totally wrong....So my ex would belittle me.. However this only happened after I had PND....but with my Master/Husbands help I got myself back into being confident and independant..

and your story is so sad... I am glad for you that you got out.. my previous relationship did affect my kids... and I have had to work hard to sort it out...

katie.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Whilst I can see where people are coming from there's a marked difference between being beaten, mentally abused, used as a sex slave by your husband against your will to willingly handing over your body and mind to someone you love!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

i think the main defferentiation to make between the Master/Slave relationship and those realationships where one half has suffered abuse is the freedom of choice.

i am sure that if Katie had turned round and said in the early days 'i eould never allow myself to be controlled or spanked/caned/whipped etc' then Master would have respected that and their relationship would have continued without that element.

of course this is my specualtion, but it seems very evident to me from both of their posts that they both have a relationship based on love and respect above all else.

women who, regretably, find themselves in an abusive relationship have the choice taken away from them. they get hit/controlled etc whether they want it or not.

i currently play withing a D/s 'realtionship' because i like to be punished. i like the feel of a cane or a whip on me. i like the bruising it leaves on me (some of you who were at chams after the last cannock social will have seen them

). do i ask that they are in places that are easily covered up? yes. Why? beause i have family and friends who dont know that i swing let alone that i like BDSM and i would prefer to keep it that way. just the same as why i keep my sex toys and sexy clothing hidden when i have guests.

My 'relationship' is very different to Katie and Masters in that i am not romantically involved with my Master. we both have very seperate lives. he is just someone i trust to experience newer harder aspects of the scene with.

and thats the most important word - TRUST. it takes a hell of a lot of trust from the slave to allow someone to 'control' them. their Master must understand and repect their slaves boundaries. i for one am not into humiliation as i have self esteem issues and so my Master does not set tasks etc that may cause me to feel humiliated in any way.

People have suggested that previous abuse etc either from past relatinships or when they were children may be the reason that women turn to this type of relationship. well i can categorically state that for me this was not the case. i am very fortunate to never have suffered abuse from any man or woman.

as a lot of people have said, it is personal choice at the end of the day. most of my friends dont understand the concept or the draw of swinging - they see us all as degenerates. would you agree with this or would you say 'its my life, i live it as i see it?'

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thankyou for sharing this, it is hard sometimes to share but good for us and I am so sorry to hear your suffereing but glad you are happy now.

There are many kinds of abuse that go in on relationships and, by definition, "abuse" is not chosen.

I also suffered emotional abuse when my husband became addicted to alcohol and binge drinking. I chose to cover it for many years, for the sake of my kids, but eventually had to quit as he began to get physically abusive when d*unk and even picked on my eldest son when he came to my aid. That signalled the end, my kids were early twenties, late teens and understood that I had to leave.

They stayed because they were worried what would become of their dad but often spent and still spend time with me even though we are thousands of miles apart. (I lived abroad). The key to any relationship or lifestyle is choice.

In fact choice is everything.

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By *ugby 123Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

O o O oo

I don't think anyone has said on this thread that people can't choose what they want to do in their lives.....just that they can't understand it as it is alien to them.

I do think though that there are a lot of contradictions printed, which makes it even harder to understand.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I do think though that there are a lot of contradictions printed, which makes it even harder to understand.

Agree with you there Ruggers!

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By *ittle_brat_evie!!Woman
over a year ago

evesham

I do think though that there are a lot of contradictions printed, which makes it even harder to understand.

Agree with you there Ruggers!"

i guess that what comes from people adapting a life style to suit their needs. some 'dabble' some live it. none are the definative way, they are just their ways.

such as some swingers will only meet couples, some will only meet single males, some will only meet single bi females, some wont do full swap, some wont do anal even tough they like it etc

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've changed me mind about the whole thing... i want a slave.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have so thoroughly enjoyed this thread. As others have said, I have gained a great insight to Master & Slave albeit it isnt for me (allow I did have my own version today of getting some guy round to do my housework naked lol).

The reason I have enjoyed this thread is the way Katie has replied. Ok there are some things like Ruggers has said that is a contradiction. But in saying that I have enjoyed reading everyones contribution.

ps me house is sparkling. plus he had to ask me what he had to wear round the house, didnt have a apron so he had to go naked

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I've changed me mind about the whole thing... i want a slave."

Granny can send you the guy I had, he was brill at doing me cleaning, i really recommend him. Just got a shit load of ironing now for someone

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Oh I'd love to have a slave into domestic service lol

I keep checking the classifieds on the fetish sites... would save me doing it and someone that enjoys it would be good. LOl

Katie x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Interesting thread..

Theres a line to be drawn between domestic violence (physical and emotional abuse) and a healthy relationship in the BDSM world ...

There`s obviously abuse in the BDSM world ...as in any other area of life..the difficulty is drawing that line..theres undoubtably a certain quality to the BDSM world that attracts predators and hostage takers of the ripe and easily subjugated..

Joining a good BDSM group is always sound advice ..where limits and boundaries are discussed ...and an understanding of Safe Sane Consensual..and explorations of topics such as trust, care , respect are encouraged..

I`ve known subs that once they accepted the collar, that was interperated as consent, and had to put up with anything that followed...a warning sign of something out of kilter..no one should be in a relationship thru manipulation and control when they`re continually unhappy or given occasional rewards fer being unhappy..the look in someones eyes speaks volumes..

So much to discuss that hasn`t been mentioned here ..a thought is when erm "masters" are unhappy with the relationship ...I`ve experienced that ...a sub asking me to do things that I`ve been uncomfortable with ..oppossed my definition of Sane ...the sub tried ridiculing and manipulating my emotions thru humiliation ...it does happen ...

Issues of abuse,that can be regarded as domestic violence and the subjugation of anothers free ill and happiness are taken seriously in the BDSM world ..dependent on where you might look ...support groups and helplines are available ...guidance is given fer actions and behaviours that signal tactics of an abuser...fer those not in denial I suppose!

Have to say ..some of what has been discussed on the thread, has concerned me.. some actions and attitudes would run contary to my boundaries and definition of Safe Sane Consensual..and don`t do the owning thang ...not what I`m looking fer ..people seeking my permission to do the basics in life would piss me of royaly..

Lastly as an asider ..Sharon my other half loves to serve me ...without asking ...she looks a little hurt if I run my bath ...it pleases a part of her that I don`t fully understand ...I like to help people but not in the same way that Sharon likes to attend to my needs ...it sometimes creates a conflict ...not in a demonsrable sense ...more a communication that sometimes I feel smothered and enjoy my space and freedom to do things for myself ....I`m rambling in someway addressing the OP`s question ....is having a sub and the perjorative Master moniker..an excuse fer a old fashioned male chauvanist pig to exploit and use another person..ahem ....yeah ..undoubtably fer some ..but not all ..

Lastly ...fer me and just fer me ...I wouldn`t be involved or knowingly play with someone in the BDSM sense that had a history of severe domestic violence...it would be to messy and entangled ...my thoughts ..

My post has no overtures on Katie or her Master relationship...I don`t really know they`re relationship or them ...and they seem happy with it ..

I`d encourage anyone to seek advice before entering the BDSM world ...do research ..be informed about healthy attitudes etc..and hence being able to negoitate a relationship that serves yer happiness and well being ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/03/11 19:42:44]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and remember kids......... don't have nightmares...

Is he ripped and tanned Jan ?

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

Late to the party here,but a couple of things to say.

You don't need to be a slave to have a Master.There are some old guard types who will insist that only people who have passed their NVQ level 4 in Domliness can have the title.There are plenty of people in every walk of life who like to make up rules and tell others they are doing it wrong.Sadly BDSM has a lot of these ,and they tend to dominate the internet face of the scene.

BDSM is no different to swinging,there are ppl who are open about it,telling their friends and family,those who hide it and would be mortified if ppl found out.Some people have meets every day,some once every 6 months.No one is entitled to say who is or isnt a swinger.Just as i would advise any newbie to be very careful of saying this is BDSM.

Now my life is very different to katies,but i think we share one vital set of beliefs.We consent to be in the position we are in,and by finding the right Master for us we are happy,learning and able to express a part of ourselves.

Oh and why every time katie posts do ppl suggest her kids must be involved,do swingers all fuck in frnt of their kids ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Because Katie says that he is her master in her everyday life as well as in the bedroom. And her everyday life involves her children.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

So people are curious how this kind or relationship may impact on them if at all.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well i still firmly believe that this master and slave thing is merely another word for conditoning and control, re subjigation of another human being.

Slavery has been abolished thank god.

And i add that yes its been an interesting thread but my and only mine ...opinion is....

A firm no...women fought to long and hard to get away from it and i for one wont allow another human being to have control over me.

But good luck to them that do.

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"Because Katie says that he is her master in her everyday life as well as in the bedroom. And her everyday life involves her children."

So do ppl who go to socials,which is a part of everyday life,take their kids?

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By *b430Man
over a year ago

Tayside

"Because Katie says that he is her master in her everyday life as well as in the bedroom. And her everyday life involves her children.

So do ppl who go to socials,which is a part of everyday life,take their kids?"

That's just a silly arguement as going to a Social is like going out for an evening, something that most parents do at some point and they don't take their kids out to pubs/clubs/etc.

What Katie describes is every day, all day that he is her "Master" and the kids will be around it too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have found this thread most interesting, katie and her masters posts have been very insightful and informative.

Katie as explained not just on this thread but on others that her life style does not effect her children apart from in a positive way because of how happy she is, she said how they adapt there lifestyle to suit there children such as not using the word 'master' in front of the children instead of using a more child friendly term/pet name, which im sure alot of people have for there partners, i know me and kev do.

Kev and myself play dom/sub in the bedroom but not in everyday life as it does not suit us, BUT each to there own, what suits one will not suit the other.

Katie...Your posts have taught me alot, and from your post on the forums you sound very happy, content and grounded person who is well informed, you will not make everyone understand your way of life but i think you will have given alot of people food for thought.

kat x x x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have enjoyed this thread for the debate value

its been really interesting reading something that wasnt silly, or 'would you shag the person above' or why do people not like single men/ fat women/ skinny women/ etc etc

its been one of the few threads i have read all the way through!

going to rest now - took a lot of reading

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have found this thread most interesting, katie and her masters posts have been very insightful and informative.

Kev and myself play dom/sub in the bedroom but not in everyday life as it does not suit us, BUT each to there own, what suits one will not suit the other.

kat x x x"

cant imagine Kev dom'ing you out of the bedroom, would be hard to do with a feckin big dildo up his ass

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