FabSwingers.com forum: I think i am possibly being unreasonable

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Spent hours one week skyping and chatting on the phone to a guy who said that he was really busy with work and had no time for meets but as soon as he had a day off we were to meet.

Day off comes and he has arranged another meet instead of meeting me as previously discussed.

Annoyed with him and myself for investing time and believing that we would meet as soon as he was free.

Had been chatting to the guy on and off for over a yr but had only just found each other again and decided this time we had to meet.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

See, that would piss me off too. And then, because I can be an arsey mare, I'd block him, muttering to myself that I hope the bitch was worth it cos you sure as hell ain't sampling these goods. Then double block him, just to make sure.

His loss.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I don't think you're being unreasonable in the circumstances but I do think you should take it up with him privately.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"See, that would piss me off too. And then, because I can be an arsey mare, I'd block him, muttering to myself that I hope the bitch was worth it cos you sure as hell ain't sampling these goods. Then double block him, just to make sure.

His loss.

Double block lol, does that come with platinum membership

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If the situation was reversed would you 'honour' the meet?

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I did take it up with him at the time - no real apology or explanation given.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

not sure what you are unreasonable with

have you blocked him, have you told him off, have you.....

I don't think it's nice to do that but hey, he might have been chatting to her for a long time too and this was the only day they could meet up.

what did he say, how do you know he met today rather than another day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 30/06/16 20:32:27]

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"If the situation was reversed would you 'honour' the meet?"

If I told someone i would meet them on a certain day and i had been chatting to them on and off for over a year and then intensely chatting and camming that week I would not have arranged another meet instead on that day.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Why stress over it

He chose someone else over you

His choice

Move on and don't stress over it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

On face value - I don't think you are being unreasonable at all.

However I do think if the roles were reversed there would be a different level of acceptance of his rudeness

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By *eanut Butter CupWoman
over a year ago

B & M Bargains

"Spent hours one week skyping and chatting on the phone to a guy who said that he was really busy with work and had no time for meets but as soon as he had a day off we were to meet.

Day off comes and he has arranged another meet instead of meeting me as previously discussed.

Annoyed with him and myself for investing time and believing that we would meet as soon as he was free.

Had been chatting to the guy on and off for over a yr but had only just found each other again and decided this time we had to meet."

Maybe he has been talking on and off with this other woman for 2 years and promised her the same?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

His loss.

Double block lol, does that come with platinum membership

Yep, gotta have some perks

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I did take it up with him at the time - no real apology or explanation given."

My personal _iew is that this is all on a no strings attached basis and certain risks come with the territory one of them being that you might invest time and effort in someone who feels no obligation to you when push comes to shove.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"how do you know he met today rather than another day"

Because he was daft enough to update his fab status to say that he was running late for a fab meet and then got a new veri that day.

When I first challenged him on it he said that it wasnt a fab meet, his status was about him being late to meet his friends but then the veri appeared a day or so later saying that she had met him a day or two earlier.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

His loss.

Double block lol, does that come with platinum membership

Yep, gotta have some perks

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Why stress over it

He chose someone else over you

His choice

Move on and don't stress over it "

The reason it has popped into my head today is that he has a new profile on here and has messaged me again - he has also messaged me on pof this week.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you're being unreasonable to be annoyed, I would be too especially after the length of time you've waited.

Unfortunately what people say and do on here are two totally different things as I've learnt. I now only invest a certain amount of time and as soon as that 6th sense cuts in , I cut them off and move on

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Why stress over it

He chose someone else over you

His choice

Move on and don't stress over it

The reason it has popped into my head today is that he has a new profile on here and has messaged me again - he has also messaged me on pof this week."

If his previous behaviour is unacceptable to you block him.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"how do you know he met today rather than another day

Because he was daft enough to update his fab status to say that he was running late for a fab meet and then got a new veri that day.

When I first challenged him on it he said that it wasn't a fab meet, his status was about him being late to meet his friends but then the veri appeared a day or so later saying that she had met him a day or two earlier."

the second anyone would challenge me over something on here, I would tell them to go **** themselves, I appreciate you can ask and he should explain what happened without needing to justify himself.

it's a NSA site but i do think he should have advised that he was unable to meet that day

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes you are over reacting. He owes you nothing.

Plus you should take anything a guy tells you on here with a pinch of salt.

Never chase a man and certainly never wait around for a fab man. Your worth more than that. Always make it be on your terms.

Hopefully the next One will blow him out of the water!!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Why stress over it

He chose someone else over you

His choice

Move on and don't stress over it

The reason it has popped into my head today is that he has a new profile on here and has messaged me again - he has also messaged me on pof this week."

Tell him to bugger off! I know we're not supposed to care when someone messes us about it is just a sex site after all,but it's still annoying.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I just think it was a bit insensitive of him, but then he's free to meet who he wants I guess, you can't help how you feel though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why stress over it

He chose someone else over you

His choice

Move on and don't stress over it

The reason it has popped into my head today is that he has a new profile on here and has messaged me again - he has also messaged me on pof this week."
well obviously he's a bit of a clown with no clue who he's sending messages too..dodged a bullet there I say

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By *iamondsmiles.Woman
over a year ago

little house on the praire

So did he cancel his meet with you to meet someone else. Was it all arranged or did he just chose to make arrangements with someone else. To be honest it sounds a bit strange that hea not been able to arrange to meet you in a year. Maybe hea been meeting others as well but not doing verifications

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spent hours one week skyping and chatting on the phone to a guy who said that he was really busy with work and had no time for meets but as soon as he had a day off we were to meet.

Day off comes and he has arranged another meet instead of meeting me as previously discussed.

Annoyed with him and myself for investing time and believing that we would meet as soon as he was free.

Had been chatting to the guy on and off for over a yr but had only just found each other again and decided this time we had to meet."

Id be a bit annoyed as well. But lots of guys on here do it. He sees you as being needy perhaps? Tell him you are moving on and block him. Then forget him and his games. Next!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Yes you are over reacting. He owes you nothing.

Plus you should take anything a guy tells you on here with a pinch of salt.

Never chase a man and certainly never wait around for a fab man. Your worth more than that. Always make it be on your terms.

Hopefully the next One will blow him out of the water!! "

This!!

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By *ngeluk69Woman
over a year ago

Near enough

Maybe he is working through a line of women

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By *piritsonfabCouple
over a year ago

Nottingham

Hmmmm. I understand you wondering.... I'd probably accept he has another offer today as this is a nsa type of site....

But I wouldn't care for the lying. Why lie? Just to keep his options open and that's not good.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spent hours one week skyping and chatting on the phone to a guy who said that he was really busy with work and had no time for meets but as soon as he had a day off we were to meet.

Day off comes and he has arranged another meet instead of meeting me as previously discussed.

Annoyed with him and myself for investing time and believing that we would meet as soon as he was free.

Had been chatting to the guy on and off for over a yr but had only just found each other again and decided this time we had to meet."

He still might meet you. Never say never.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You could of met him after hes meet

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

He sounds like a knob. Move on. I would be annoyed to though mainly because of the back tracking when it seems obvious he had a better offer and lied to you. Were you just having a social? Perhaps the other woman offered him a play meet. (Most) guys on here think with their cocks after all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Had you and him actually arranged where and when and what time you were meeting ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Spent hours one week skyping and chatting on the phone to a guy who said that he was really busy with work and had no time for meets but as soon as he had a day off we were to meet.

Day off comes and he has arranged another meet instead of meeting me as previously discussed.

Annoyed with him and myself for investing time and believing that we would meet as soon as he was free.

Had been chatting to the guy on and off for over a yr but had only just found each other again and decided this time we had to meet."

Maybe he had been talking to this other person before you and your in a queue for his free time

It's possible

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

You might get to be Miss July rather than Miss June.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No white knights gonna say its hes loss then

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Might sound a bit brutal but he chose someone else over you, he has his reasons. Perhaps she was closer, more convenient, bigger tits, longer legs etc etc just forget him & move on.

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

[Removed by poster at 30/06/16 21:20:47]

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By *layfullsamMan
over a year ago

Solihull

Fuck him(not literally)

You've already wasted to much time on him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Learn a lesson from it .

Don't expect too much and you won't be dissapointment .

And certainly don't waste so much time chatting .

He's not in the wrong , he chose to follow a different lead .

It's supposed to be fun on here , and if you're gonna get het up about who met who when , it'll spoil the experience for you .

Onwards and upwards

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I would have thought Oh well,she's obviously more appealing than me (I wouldn't have Skyped,sent pics or had sex talk previously though) and left it at that. If he asked for anything again I would say no thank you.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Might sound a bit brutal but he chose someone else over you, he has his reasons. Perhaps she was closer, more convenient, bigger tits, longer legs etc etc just forget him & move on. "

Fab rule....A single guy cant turn a meet down for a better offer. Only women can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"No white knights gonna say its hes loss then

Was you disappointed

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Might sound a bit brutal but he chose someone else over you, he has his reasons. Perhaps she was closer, more convenient, bigger tits, longer legs etc etc just forget him & move on.

Fab rule....A single guy cant turn a meet down for a better offer. Only women can

Not true I had a guy stand me up for somebody else

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Might sound a bit brutal but he chose someone else over you, he has his reasons. Perhaps she was closer, more convenient, bigger tits, longer legs etc etc just forget him & move on.

Fab rule....A single guy cant turn a meet down for a better offer. Only women can

Not true I had a guy stand me up for somebody else

And you didnt even start a thread about it

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By *andACouple
over a year ago

glasgow

"No white knights gonna say its hes loss then

They're all watching the football. Give it another 20 minutes or so

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Youre over thinking it.

Romanticising it cos you feel a false attachment.

Walk away.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I would have thought Oh well,she's obviously more appealing than me (I wouldn't have Skyped,sent pics or had sex talk previously though) and left it at that. If he asked for anything again I would say no thank you. "

We second this, until the meet we don't sexy talk with single men as they'll get their jollies and not need to meet us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Might sound a bit brutal but he chose someone else over you, he has his reasons. Perhaps she was closer, more convenient, bigger tits, longer legs etc etc just forget him & move on.

Fab rule....A single guy cant turn a meet down for a better offer. Only women can

Not true I had a guy stand me up for somebody else

And you didnt even start a thread about it

It's not something to brag about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think you are being unreasonable feeling the way you do after this. He should have had the bottle to tell you that he was meeting someone else instead, rather than hope that you wouldn't notice. Yes, he can meet who he wants to and if he thinks that she merited meeting before you, then fine, personally, I wouldn't give him the time of day again. It's happened to me, I had a guy who I met regularly make an arrangement to come round to mine, he then cancelled at the last minute saying that another woman he'd not met before had been in touch and he was off to meet her instead. I was a little cross and then had the satisfaction afterwards of finding out that she refused to play with him when he turned up! We never met again, I refused as I thought his behaviour was pants.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think there's a huge gap between expectation and reality in some instances and we all fall foul of it to some extent. The fact is that some people are able to pick others up and put them down at whim and I reckon we should be prepared for that to happen, I don't think it's fair or right but its reality and we save ourselves a lot of heartache if we can accept that it happens.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Oh he knows it is me. As I say we have chatted on numerous sites so no mistaken identity. We have skype on and off for over a yr (possibly nearer two).

He didn't cancel on me he just arranged to meet someone else. We spoke on Skype 2 days before to confirm that he would skype me when he finished work to arrange what time we were meeting at (as he didn't have set finishing times with his job).

On the day I logged on when I can home and he posted a status saying he was running late for a meet. Which clearly wasn't with me as we hadnt arranged a time to meet.

My original thought was he was trying to fit as many meets in his night off as possible!!! Either way I have blocked him. Just odd that he would still be making all the running (which he always did on every site). I never run after a man..life is too short. But I wasn't pleased with his behaviour.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

His loss.

Double block lol, does that come with platinum membership

Hush.....that is not supposed to be discussed in public!

OP...not unreasonable...but he was. Block, move on. Sorry another arsehole adds to the perception of single blokes on fab! We are not all the same!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think it's none of our business. If you feel like hooking up with him now then do. I personally couldn't be arsed with the drama involved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We have had that manny times and just make us feel that this site us fuul of time wasters and dreamers

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's none of our business. If you feel like hooking up with him now then do. I personally couldn't be arsed with the drama involved."

I'm a bit like that

Anything that's not just smooth sailing is just to much hassle for me

Im to lazy to give a shit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fab Admin

Can we please have a

Your a cunt block block block and fucking block that cunt again button

please

Sorry think i was just venting my own fab nonsense people frustration

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I think it's none of our business. If you feel like hooking up with him now then do. I personally couldn't be arsed with the drama involved.

I'm a bit like that

Anything that's not just smooth sailing is just to much hassle for me

Im to lazy to give a shit

Yep! That's me. Lazy arsed Bitch.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd be pissed off. Mostly with myself, though.

Still... I'd be tempted to arrange a meet if he was particularly lovely, just with the personal understanding of how casual it was

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont think your being unreasonable at all totally understand where your coming from same happened to me got my first meet spoke for a bit on whatsapp then totally stops doesnt reply back to me and the day of the meet comes and goes then the next day comes on and just get blanked then i see she had a veri for a quick meet on our day of meet instead of everything we had discussed in detail SHE wanted wasnt too happy about it to say the least lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The realisation that we all have our own personal life and time out side this site, It should be recognised by everyone so if a meet is arranged it's extremely rude and selfish to pull out of it, I can never understand why people deliberately want to waste other peoples time, Especially if your gonna meet and have some fun it's quite crazy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What's her username? We'll compare the fabmarket.com

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By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I would give him a wide berth to be honest,Sounds like you would end up doing the chasing and arranging.miss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"how do you know he met today rather than another day

Because he was daft enough to update his fab status to say that he was running late for a fab meet and then got a new veri that day.

There you go then x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 01/07/16 07:28:44]

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By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"Yes you are over reacting. He owes you nothing.

Plus you should take anything a guy tells you on here with a pinch of salt.

Never chase a man and certainly never wait around for a fab man. Your worth more than that. Always make it be on your terms.

Hopefully the next One will blow him out of the water!! "

Pretty much this for me.

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

He doesn't owe you anything.

You chose to invest yourself and you time on someone you have been chatting with on a NSA Swingers site.

He isn't yours. He can meet and fuck anyone he likes.

Did you make firm plans to meet on that day? Arrange the time and place, or was it just a we will meet up the next time I'm free kinda thing?

Sound like, from what you have written, that you have got a bit to close and expect things that aren't there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It happens..the thing is to not dwell..if you do it's only you're fault if it upsets you..

I'd message lots of people..if it's gonna happen it's not gonna take months or a year

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sounds to me like the lines between dating site and swinger site are getting blurred. Although not meeting when arranged is an instant sacking offence on a dating site, on here its all about the hook up, and taking a year to meet sounds a lot like a vetting process to me. But then again i must concede that singles here have different priorities and measures.

But we are here to hang with swingers, and the more strings and expectations attached means less fun, and if swinging isnt fun there is no swinging.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I don't think you're being unreasonable in the circumstances but I do think you should take it up with him privately."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

its fab and its the way it goes for some some of the time - just put it down to one of those things and move along

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Swingers eh?

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

No, you're not being unreasonable - you had a perfectly normal expectation of honesty, respect and good manners of the kind that civilised society is based on. No, it is not normal to mess people about or deceive them, and so not normal to expect that. It is not normal to express the intention to do one thing for months and then do another.

Sadly, in the fab world such norms do not apply. The handle 'nsa' is used as Carte Blanche to act in any kind of self-centred, disrespectful manner people choose, and sadly we have to accept that even if we do not become as jaded and cynical as to expect it.

The later might be the wisest course, but I am not sure I ever want to become that hard-hearted. So, hope for the best but prepare for the worst every time I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Why stress over it

He chose someone else over you

His choice

Move on and don't stress over it

The reason it has popped into my head today is that he has a new profile on here and has messaged me again - he has also messaged me on pof this week.

Tell him to bugger off! I know we're not supposed to care when someone messes us about it is just a sex site after all,but it's still annoying."

Your right it is still a sex site but no one should piss people about , it's time wasted that would annoy me

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The only "obligation" someone has here is to turn up for a definite arrangement or give reasonable notice to cancel. Beyond that, if you've developed expectations of some kind, that's your problem.

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I think i am possibly being unreasonable - am i?