FabSwingers.com forum: What do you guys think?...

By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

We had started to chat to a local couple recently, we don't normally play to local, so a little slip on our side! Anyway, this evening THEY asked to see our face pictures, which we said yes of course, but as you are local, if you have seen us about you still have to show yours, I made it a bit jokey, but it was perfectly clear...anyway, they messaged back saying that they recognise us and they are going to have to say goodbye...no face pictures...so they could be anybody, we feel a bit violated TBH...over reaction??

I did message them back and say that we don't feel they behaved in an honourable way, they deleted the message...I messaged back and said I trust they will delete the picture & they said "deleted, no worries"

Please could we have other peoples opinions on this?

Thanks in advance :o)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

C'est la vie.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hiya

have to say I can completely see where you are coming from and we would probably feel the same way.I don't think your over reacting at all.Although there isn't a great deal you can do about it.It's unfortunate now that they know who you are and you have no clue who you where talking too! I have to say that would irritate me to say the least.Maybe lesson learned. Don't go first in future.But then you don't want to come across as being awkward

It's a difficult one x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

All you can do is trust them that they will delete your picture. I dont think they will broadcast it anyway coz they are on this site too.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"We had started to chat to a local couple recently, we don't normally play to local, so a little slip on our side! Anyway, this evening THEY asked to see our face pictures, which we said yes of course, but as you are local, if you have seen us about you still have to show yours, I made it a bit jokey, but it was perfectly clear...anyway, they messaged back saying that they recognise us and they are going to have to say goodbye...no face pictures...so they could be anybody, we feel a bit violated TBH...over reaction??

Please could we have other peoples opinions on this?

Thanks in advance :o)

My opinion is learn a lesson from this and don't send your face picture locally again. There's nothing you can do about it now and I do think the other couple could have allayed your fears but your best course of action is to move forward and put it out of your mind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

oh ffs,,shoot yerself,,its over

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By *andomfodCouple
over a year ago

walsall

We set ours to auto delete on reading. It's not totally secure, but at least we know barring a screenshot, it's gone.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are a site supporter you can delete the from the sent message.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can't see the problem to be honest .

The vast majority of our meets are local , and people we don't know till we meet them .

Then they become friends .

Plenty of our meets have been with people we recognise though , and that's cool too . They are her for the same reason as we are .

Too much thinking goes on in this lifestyle , and not enough doing .

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

I said to they, hey that isn't fair, you've seen our faces! we don't care about not meeting them, but it is the principle and the worry of who they are! and can we trust them?

We defo won't be first with the face pictures from now on, but someone has to go first, but we always show back, even if we're not interested, it is only polite.

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

lol...we aren't bothered about not meeting them, it is just annoying :oP

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please could we have other peoples opinions on this?

Thanks in advance :o)

Well we don't know you, but looking at your profile and pictures we would like to.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I messaged a "new" local member the other week. I sent a face pic.

I got a reply....by whatsapp lol! Someone I had already met last year, had kept in touch with and who is now what I would call a friend.

She hadn't put face pic on profile, her body shots were not too explicit so I hadn't recognised her.

We had a good laugh...and a bit more

. But life is funny sometimes.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Maybe it was simply a case of no attraction and they made the excuse of saying they know you rather than being honest.

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By *ark074Man
over a year ago

nottingham

Maybe they did the right thing by ending it straight away?

Who knows who they were?

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"I messaged a "new" local member the other week. I sent a face pic.

I got a reply....by whatsapp lol! Someone I had already met last year, had kept in touch with and who is now what I would call a friend.

She hadn't put face pic on profile, her body shots were not too explicit so I hadn't recognised her.

We had a good laugh...and a bit more

. But life is funny sometimes."

It is indeed!

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I said to they, hey that isn't fair, you've seen our faces! we don't care about not meeting them, but it is the principle and the worry of who they are! and can we trust them?

We defo won't be first with the face pictures from now on, but someone has to go first, but we always show back, even if we're not interested, it is only polite."

The rules of polite are different on fab.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you are worried about them somehow exposing you, just remember that they cannot do that without exposing themselves. After all, they can hardly shout out 'hey, look who I found on a swingers website!!' without someone else asking them what they were doing on there themselves!!

My advice is dont worry about it, although I appreciate its easy for me to say as it's not me it's happened to!

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"Well we don't know you, but looking at your profile and pictures we would like to.

thank you

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have the perfect solution alas I can't pm you with it...but you have to use a little canny logic here...think outside the box

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"If you are worried about them somehow exposing you, just remember that they cannot do that without exposing themselves. After all, they can hardly shout out 'hey, look who I found on a swingers website!!' without someone else asking them what they were doing on there themselves!!

My advice is dont worry about it, although I appreciate its easy for me to say as it's not me it's happened to!

Let's hope its nobody I work with lol

I know that's the truth, it was a perfectly nice clean photo so they have nothing on us, we have deleted it our end...but they saw it, they know us and we don't have a clue who they are...it's very creepy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The good old rule of double jeopardy!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lesson to be learned and move on.. Honestly why worry yourself, I used to be really bothered if people knew we were sexualy liberated, now I couldn't care less!

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

There is nothing you can do about it, so trust their discretion and try and relax and forget it. Someone has to be first.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a cunning plan too, which I would use if that happened to me!

I have had a guy start a conversation twice with me and on both occasions, has asked to exchange pics, however, he wants me to go first (as he has an important job, apparently). I have declined on both occasions, not that I won't send a pic, but because I would like to see his first. I have tried to explain that I am not a bunny boiler and if I did know him, even if we didn't meet, I would be discreet. However, because I wont send a pic first, that is the end of it. My reasoning is that I am a single female and as such, am more vulnerable than him. I may be wrong but that is my view. In the past, I have sent my pic out and been recognised and also the other way round, as someone else has pointed out, I am not likely to broadcast the fact that I saw Mr XXX on a Swinging website, am I?

This doesn't help you and I think that they are not being fair, mind you, I would imagine that they are people that you probably know very well, like your next door neighbours!

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

We have moved on already, in a way it is a shame that they didn't introduce themselves, as we could've had a laugh and a cheeky secret with whoever it is...there is no way we'd play, but we would always be friendly and discreet.

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

Red Queen...He should go 1st, your job is just as important to you as his is to him, I am especially saying this after this evening

how about you Skype...kind of a same time thing?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Red Queen...He should go 1st, your job is just as important to you as his is to him, I am especially saying this after this evening

how about you Skype...kind of a same time thing?"

Thanks for the support....we all have jobs and family who we would prefer not to know what we get up to in our spare time. Unfortunately, Skype is not the answer, been there, the guy had a 'camera malfunction', so I never got to see him. I logged off before he got the chance (hopefully), of a screen shot.

Yes, you could have had a giggle, their loss, you sound like a lot of fun!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Exactly the same thing happened to me.

Apart from when she recognised me she blocked me so I may never know

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

The old 'camera malfunction' stunt lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We don't worry about coming across someone we know on Fab. I mean we're all in the same boat with the same risks. I do understand that it might seem a bit weird to play with someone you know though, hense their reaction. I think it's unlikely they will expose you.

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"Exactly the same thing happened to me.

Apart from when she recognised me she blocked me so I may never know

Isn't it silly, we are all into the same thing, just have a laugh with it! Did she say she knew you before she blocked you?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Exactly the same thing happened to me.

Apart from when she recognised me she blocked me so I may never know

That's reminded me. We're blocked by a couple. Have absalutely no idea why cos we've never had any communication with them. Only thing we can think of is that we know them from vanilla life.

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"Exactly the same thing happened to me.

Apart from when she recognised me she blocked me so I may never know

That's reminded me. We're blocked by a couple. Have absalutely no idea why cos we've never had any communication with them. Only thing we can think of is that we know them from vanilla life."

It's the not knowing

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I once had a local couple as friends on my list, when I first joined. That was until one day they sent me a msg saying their child was in the same nursery as mine. I asked them to come and say hello and they wouldn't! Needless, to say I still don't know who they are and have learnt my lesson about friends invites!

Bearing in mind I have also been sent pics from guys who i've recognised, told them that and declined to return them my pic. I would never 'out' someone from here though.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Bearing in mind I have also been sent pics from guys who i've recognised, told them that and declined to return them my pic. I would never 'out' someone from here though."

I suspect I would do the same, if I felt too uncomfortable about the person I recognised. Not happened yet. Understand how the OP feels, as it's a bit unfair to have the other people knowing, and them not. But on the other hand it's a bit much to expect them to return a picture when the decision has been made.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I am out if your age range to pm you op.. but I know how you feel and where you are coming from x

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

Oh no Side Smile, that is very close to home, and randomly telling you they know you!

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By *he Queen of TartsWoman
Forum Mod
over a year ago

My Own Little World

I don't see they did anything wrong, other than not sending their face pic when they asked for your. It is customary on here for the person who asks for the face pic to send theirs with the message.

But that is the chance you take with sending face pics on here, you never know who is on the other end.

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"I am out if your age range to pm you op.. but I know how you feel and where you are coming from x

Hope your ok, as a girl on your own you have to keep yourself safe x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I am out if your age range to pm you op.. but I know how you feel and where you are coming from x

Hope your ok, as a girl on your own you have to keep yourself safe x"

Thank you

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By *ohnyorkMan
over a year ago

york

To be honest this gets me abit you guys are hot and it is their loss for sure at the end of the day if you want it to be discreet then it should be play fair thats what i say even if you was my boss haha

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"I don't see they did anything wrong, other than not sending their face pic when they asked for your. It is customary on here for the person who asks for the face pic to send theirs with the message.

But that is the chance you take with sending face pics on here, you never know who is on the other end."

I do agree that it is a chance you take in this world, I wish it was us that recognised them not the other way around...we would've probably played a guessing game with them with clues as to who we are

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please could we have other peoples opinions on this?

Thanks in advance :o)

If people ask for face photos our view is that they send their face photos first. If we ask for face photos we send ours first out of courtesy.

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"To be honest this gets me abit you guys are hot and it is their loss for sure at the end of the day if you want it to be discreet then it should be play fair thats what i say even if you was my boss haha

Lol...omg! I hope it wasn't my boss

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

When you told them you expected photos of them in return, did they agree to do that ? If not then i don't see what the problem is because, as others have pointed out, they are unlikely to 'out' you.

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By *ohnyorkMan
over a year ago

york

Lol...omg! I hope it wasn't my boss "

Hahaha would be funny though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The issue with sites like this is that the majority of users want you to compromise your privacy whilst retaining theirs.

If any conversation becomes a 'you first', 'no, you first' contest, I just end it there and then.

It cuts out the crap.

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"When you told them you expected photos of them in return, did they agree to do that ? If not then i don't see what the problem is because, as others have pointed out, they are unlikely to 'out' you."

No, they asked for face pictures, I attached our photo to the message that said they had to still show us ours even if they recognised us, I wasn't expecting in a million years! And I should have heard alarm bells when they didn't show a face pic when they asked for ours, the lesson has been learned. I kind of wanted to get everyone's opinion and have enjoyed chatting here tonight

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"The issue with sites like this is that the majority of users want you to compromise your privacy whilst retaining theirs.

If any conversation becomes a 'you first', 'no, you first' contest, I just end it there and then.

It cuts out the crap."

Wise words, we aren't here to play kids games x

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

If you want to be sure that your pic has been deleted from your message to them, there's a little trick: delete the pics you sent them on your profile - it will then be deleted off the message too. You could always upload them again.

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By *dze 23Man
over a year ago

plymouth

I gave a face pic on another site to someone on the site, do not know to this day who it was but my pic along with my profile was on a notice board at work, so I never send face pics to any one if they don't reply well it does not bother me simple. Xx

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"I gave a face pic on another site to someone on the site, do not know to this day who it was but my pic along with my profile was on a notice board at work, so I never send face pics to any one if they don't reply well it does not bother me simple. Xx"

Omg! That is despicable....people can be cruel, so sorry you had to go through that x

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

"If you want to be sure that your pic has been deleted from your message to them, there's a little trick: delete the pics you sent them on your profile - it will then be deleted off the message too. You could always upload them again.

Thank you...doing it now

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I met a guy for a social who had had his profile page printed off and put in the post for the attention of his boss....but they sent it to the wrong branch of his work, so it got passed around a bit before it hit his boss' desk. He was married, so yes, it was a big deal. His boss was good about it, shredded the page in front of him and advised him to be more careful.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can't see the problem to be honest .

The vast majority of our meets are local , and people we don't know till we meet them .

Then they become friends .

Plenty of our meets have been with people we recognise though , and that's cool too . They are her for the same reason as we are .

Too much thinking goes on in this lifestyle , and not enough doing ."

It's for safety reasons

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe it was simply a case of no attraction and they made the excuse of saying they know you rather than being honest."

No this can't be the reason.... It's only ok to do this to single guys

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We set ours to auto delete on reading. It's not totally secure, but at least we know barring a screenshot, it's gone.

So if they wanted to save it to their computer on the first look.... they can do that and still have it!

People don't think over all the possibilities of what can happen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"We set ours to auto delete on reading. It's not totally secure, but at least we know barring a screenshot, it's gone.

So if they wanted to save it to their computer on the first look.... they can do that and still have it!

People don't think over all the possibilities of what can happen. "

You do realize that most people are here to have good sex and don't have time for this kinda of nonsense...

If people are this paranoid about swinging... They need to step back and evaluate if this is for them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 26/06/16 22:34:12]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If in doubt, don't send a pic.... all of ours are set to friends only, and a few that are set to private too.. nothing public, and that's how it stays.

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

You do realize that most people are here to have good sex and don't have time for this kinda of nonsense...

If people are this paranoid about swinging... They need to step back and evaluate if this is for them"

This is so true

we have flesh pics on here with no faces and face pics we could show anyone and have never stressed massively about ...now very nervous about local people though

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I haven't read the whole thread so I'm sure this has been said elsewhere but I guess the protocol I work to is that I'll never ask the other party to send a face pic first - if I want to see their face then I'll send mine first on the understanding that they might not send one back.

The fact that they asked you to send first then refused to reciprocate does seem a little unfair - it's happened and you can't change it but I can understand that unease of not knowing who it is when you're out and about

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please could we have other peoples opinions on this?

Thanks in advance :o)

If they sent their pics first, and you knew them....would you have sent them yours???

If the answer is no then perhaps you understand the reasons behind the choice they made x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Please could we have other peoples opinions on this?

Thanks in advance :o)

If they sent their pics first, and you knew them....would you have sent them yours???

If the answer is no then perhaps you understand the reasons behind the choice they made x"

If this happened to me i would behave exactly the same as them.

I think most people would.

It doesn't mean they are going to tell the world you're a swinger though.

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By *otandSticky OP Couple
over a year ago

Poole

Some thing we will not fall for again ? Dirty tricks

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