FabSwingers.com forum: Preparing your house for a Squirter

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

bubble wrap, lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Make them wear a nappy.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots of women squirt. I find a shower curtain is a great mattress protector. Under the top sheet, use a nice thick sheet. Plenty of towels over the top.

If she is prolific then another shower curtain threaded on cord and hung in the "line of fire". Towels underneath to protect floor/carpet. (I also have a vax carpet shampoo machine!).

I have still, however had one carpet that went beyond repair...and was partially responsible for just about destroying the four poster at the old lodge in Gloucester.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I use bin bags taped together into the same size as the bed and have a few sleeping bags that unzip. The bags go on top of the bed and when each sleeping bag gets soaked, it gets replaced with a dry one.

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

Shag her outside

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By *ingfisher83Man
over a year ago

Soton | Fareham | Portsmouth | Chichester

Haha this has always been a concern of mine. If you think of an easy solution, take it to Dragon's Den!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Position your mouth right and just swallow as fast as you can

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shag her outside

I was gonna say in the shower

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By *iss AdventureWoman
over a year ago

Wonderland

Watch a couple of episodes of Dexter

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shag her outside

I was gonna say in the shower

The shower/bathroom works too...

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Shag her outside

I was gonna say in the shower

Yep outside,shower,her home etc all good options rather than her ruining your own home. Her mess,get her to sort it or pay damages...

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

I'd once considered sewing a shower curtain onto the back of a large bath towel or fleece blanket... And making my fortune from this genius idea.

Then realised this is pretty much a waterproof backed picnic blanket.

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By *anky_PankyWoman
over a year ago

Filthy Fuckeryville

Shower curtains help - can look a bit twatty though!

Lovehoney do pvc / latex bed sheets and 10% off of you go via fab link

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By *opping_candyWoman
over a year ago

West Yorkshire

"Shower curtains help - can look a bit twatty though!

Lovehoney do pvc / latex bed sheets and 10% off of you go via fab link

I had a meet with a guy who had PVC sheets once. It was summer and it was horrible! Sweaty does not begin to cover it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shag her outside

I was gonna say in the shower

Yep outside,shower,her home etc all good options rather than her ruining your own home. Her mess,get her to sort it or pay damages..."

Haha put up a wee sign like in the back of a taxi £25 cleaning fee for "spillages"!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Shag her outside

I was gonna say in the shower

Yep outside,shower,her home etc all good options rather than her ruining your own home. Her mess,get her to sort it or pay damages...

Haha put up a wee sign like in the back of a taxi £25 cleaning fee for "spillages"!"

Will £25 pay for a new sofa,bed,carpet?!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Belt and bucket.

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By *radleywigginsMan
over a year ago

northwest

Shag in the garden. It's good for the flowers..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Go to hers

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By *ilthyjackcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

Get yourself to Wilkos, they do a waterproof mattress protector for a fiver and it does exactly what you need it to. I'm a massive squirter and it keeps my mattress nice and dry. Just stick a sheet over the top and get on with it.

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By *herbert fountainWoman
over a year ago

Hanley

I take a waterproof mattress protector with me on meets. That way I can relax and not have to worry about leaving a wet bed behind.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shag her outside

I was gonna say in the shower

Yep outside,shower,her home etc all good options rather than her ruining your own home. Her mess,get her to sort it or pay damages...

Haha put up a wee sign like in the back of a taxi £25 cleaning fee for "spillages"!

Will £25 pay for a new sofa,bed,carpet?! "

Fair point! Are you speaking from experience?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A waterproof mattress protector that has a fleecy top. I just put it on my bed on top of the sheets. Soft enough to play on and prevents everything gets soaked. Machine wash after x

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Shag her outside

I was gonna say in the shower

Yep outside,shower,her home etc all good options rather than her ruining your own home. Her mess,get her to sort it or pay damages...

Haha put up a wee sign like in the back of a taxi £25 cleaning fee for "spillages"!

Will £25 pay for a new sofa,bed,carpet?!

Fair point! Are you speaking from experience?

No I don't wet my bed...

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By *ngandnickCouple
over a year ago

Haverhill

The last thing I would do is prepare a room as Dexter would!!! Not sexy and I know for sure that that would put Ang right off, so it just wouldn't happen.

A couple of towels if you really want to prep, although it doesn't save the walls---- good job we don't have wall paper lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Went too a friends flat with a lady friend, he demonstrated his wand on her, afterseveral minutes she was gushing.

He said don't worry about bed, had quilt cover 3 towels and over matterass a padded matterass cover from somewhere called soak and sleep. Said best £25 he'd spent dry matterass every time...and happy women

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

She should bring the appropriate stuff to ensure your items are not damaged

Or fuck her in her house

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shag her outside

I was gonna say in the shower

Yep outside,shower,her home etc all good options rather than her ruining your own home. Her mess,get her to sort it or pay damages...

Haha put up a wee sign like in the back of a taxi £25 cleaning fee for "spillages"!

Will £25 pay for a new sofa,bed,carpet?!

Fair point! Are you speaking from experience?

No I don't wet my bed..."

Just the flowerbeds then huh

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How about puppy pads?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Watch a couple of episodes of Dexter

That's exactly what I was going to say!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Shag her outside

I was gonna say in the shower

Yep outside,shower,her home etc all good options rather than her ruining your own home. Her mess,get her to sort it or pay damages...

Haha put up a wee sign like in the back of a taxi £25 cleaning fee for "spillages"!

Will £25 pay for a new sofa,bed,carpet?!

Fair point! Are you speaking from experience?

No I don't wet my bed...

Just the flowerbeds then huh

Yep

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By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Tell her to pee before you start and at regular intervals

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By *ilthyjackcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Tell her to pee before you start and at regular intervals"

Peeing has got nowt to do with squirting.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

how about keeping your eye open for a second hand dentists chair with that suction implement thingymewhotsit to soak it all up,then rinse when finished

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Shag in the garden. It's good for the flowers.."

Did this morning after a party in worcester once. There was a gazebo with a bed in it.....once she cum and let go proper she actually watered the opposite flower bed lol!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Tell her to pee before you start and at regular intervals

Peeing has got nowt to do with squirting."

Lol........wondered how long before this old chestnut came up!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How about puppy pads? "
Tried them, they are too small in surface area, even those for large breed puppies....and even when they do catch some, it doesn't take long to soak them until they disintegrate.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Tell her to pee before you start and at regular intervals

Peeing has got nowt to do with squirting.

Lol........wondered how long before this old chestnut came up!"

Peeing and Squirting are two different things. Trust me, I know what and where stuff comes out of my body!

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By *iboy1968Man
over a year ago

cramlington

drink every drop and it wont damage anything

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

go to hers and spunk over her things,

she may think differently

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By *mokes n MirrorsCouple
over a year ago

Plymouth and Newcastle (sometimes)

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Don't choose women who say they squirt...Problem solved.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can squirting be classed as watersports after all is is pee?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I unfortunately squirt occasionally and I'm so pleased that I can stop my body doing it most of the time, because there is absolutely nothing less sexy than the suggestions in this thread.

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By *antasticMrsFoxMan
over a year ago

Exeter

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Towels lots of towels

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Get yourself to Wilkos, they do a waterproof mattress protector for a fiver and it does exactly what you need it to. I'm a massive squirter and it keeps my mattress nice and dry. Just stick a sheet over the top and get on with it.

H."

That's what I do. But I put the protector over a sheet, then a sheet over the protector, then I wip the protector and top sheet off for bed. Saves remaking it.

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By *icentiousCouple
over a year ago

Up on them there hills

Good hairdryer works.

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By *ighting17thMan
over a year ago

Bodmin

"Lots of women squirt. I find a shower curtain is a great mattress protector. Under the top sheet, use a nice thick sheet. Plenty of towels over the top.

If she is prolific then another shower curtain threaded on cord and hung in the "line of fire". Towels underneath to protect floor/carpet. (I also have a vax carpet shampoo machine!).

I have still, however had one carpet that went beyond repair...and was partially responsible for just about destroying the four poster at the old lodge in Gloucester."

Hey, I wish I was in B&Q ( or wherever) to overhear that conversation ...

"Hello Sir, can I help you at all?"

"Yes you can mate. I'm after a carpet vac/washer."

"Oh, I could certainly help you with that sir. Is it for messy toddlers or pet hairs in your home, Sir?"

"No mate, I have this corker of a bird, sex with her is utterly fantastic but, she leaves puddles everywhere!"

"Oh, I think I'm going to have to phone the product rep and get some advice, Sir?"

"Knock yourself out, shit-for-brains!"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Soakandsleep.com matterass covers for incontinent people. So no matter how much natural squirt juice she produces it will soak up nicely

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By *tephenBunChowMan
over a year ago

Haywards heath/Waterlooville

Go to theirs, instead of hosting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have sex with someone else.

Have sex at hers.

Put towels / waterproofs down & say lets fuck on here.

Crack on & don't worry about it.

The choice is yours to make!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Either ask to go to hers or go to a club. Don't let your belongings be ruined, it can't be worth it.

Having sex on shower curtains doesn't sound that sexy either.

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By *uth 50Woman
over a year ago

Leeds/Huddersfield

Definitely a shower curtain with 2...3 towels on top, works for me anyway!

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By *ilacWoman
over a year ago

Cheshire

Wouldn't let her in my house!

And she's okay with repeatedly soaking all your furniture? Bad form that.

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By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

I take my traveling shower curtain with me, value ones there a great help.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Wouldn't let her in my house!

And she's okay with repeatedly soaking all your furniture? Bad form that. "

I can't think of anything worse

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Get the fuck on With it haha

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"She should bring the appropriate stuff to ensure your items are not damaged

Or fuck her in her house

Agreed. I find it awfully inconsiderate and leave the place stinking of piss.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

OP, if you have the money, check out sheets of San Francisco.

Or tell her to bring her own waterproof stuff.

I'd love to start accommodating again, but women squirting everywhere is a real turn off. I don't want to be washing tonnes of piss towels or sheets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Paddling pool works well!

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Paddling pool works well!

Now that is a good idea,pop it on your bed!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Brilliant! I'm sure it's a real issue mate but if you're going to have a problem then that's probably up there with one of the best to have ever!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Water proof mattress covers and plenty of towels

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By *ivemeyoursoulWoman
over a year ago

Easter just around the corner!

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Brilliant! I'm sure it's a real issue mate but if you're going to have a problem then that's probably up there with one of the best to have ever!

That's all well and good,but the poor bugger is going to be sleeping on the floor soon if she carries on

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By *unguya2zMan
over a year ago

coventry..ish

I met a lovely lady from another site and she was an awesome squirter who cares if the place is getting in a mess,enjoy it and take things to another level.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Meet her at her house

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By *horltzMan
over a year ago

heysham

Don't go to far with the plastic sheeting , or it may look like a well prepared murder scene

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By *opedick89Man
over a year ago

Midlands

Water proof mat or bed sheets

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Meet her at her house "

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm going to buy some black pvc bed sheets.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sensible considerate lady. If we know that it's likely to happen then we should consider the other persons hospitality'.

Buy a washable Kylie available in pink or blue,double size.Folds into a discrete bag.Available on ebay. Sorted'.

Don't all thank me at once'..xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Although I'm a fetish freak, I do want a female to be warm and comfortable in the bedroom before we get down and dirty.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Meet at her place ?

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By *erdita Von TeaseWoman
over a year ago

nottingham

Sandbags

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Ok so i've been hooking up with an absolute squirt machine on here recently... it's cool and the sex is off the hook but fuck me my Apartment is getting trashed

Sofa, Bed all soaked STILL.

Any advice welcome how to best protect my stuff?

Meet at her place ? "

I said that 4 days ago

What I would do is go to her house and piss all over her sofa then say see how your guests like it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had a FB like that once, in the end I had to let her go as replacing Beding & bedroom furniture was too expense lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You know that bit in ET where the house gets sealed up?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Dunelm sell quilted mattress protectors with waterproof backing for £20 for a king size one, I have 2 and they are great and definitely do the job

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lock your door and pretend you're out

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By *litterbabeWoman
over a year ago

hiding from cock pics.

"Dunelm sell quilted mattress protectors with waterproof backing for £20 for a king size one, I have 2 and they are great and definitely do the job

Do they get 'puddles" or does the quilted party absort it enough to transport to the washing machine?

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By *arnayguyMan
over a year ago

Durham Tees

When you finger her use those sponge fingers they use to make trifles.

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