FabSwingers.com forum: Is she in the wrong?

By *ormalcouple219 OP Couple
over a year ago

Michigan City

The other day we was on Facebook, meet a nice couple and we made plans to go see them in a month, well next few days everything I post in swinger group he responds right away with comments of how he wants my wife. So I tried to get involved and message his wife, she seems she is not interested. So I lefted it where it was at, next day while I'm at work wife texts and says I'm gonna take a shower, first thing that came to my mind was u never take a shower in middle of day and y r u telling me that out of no where with out any other convo, so I asked OK why? And she responded I washed my cloths and I want to get clean, I reply OK. Then she send another message saying and I'm gonna send u pics, I responded back awesome! Then she replyed how we was gonna have good sex and told me in detail. Well she logged on my phone with Facebook a couple days ago and she didn't know I could see messages cuz app was logged under me. Well anyway while I was at work I kepted seeing her get messages on my notification. So I deleted the messenger app and I could see her messages, come to find out she was messaging him and she sent him same pics plus more to him 20 minutes before she sent them to me and they was maken plans for between them when. We go meet them, I told my self this is why we swing I guess, so I kepted my mouth shut and went home, when we was sitting there talking I asked if she talked or got any messages from anyone and she said no, I asked even that guy didn't message u, she said no didn't talk to him all day and told me a story about his wife that she told her over messages but she never did talk to her on Facebook, so rest of night she was pissy with me and when it came down to goto bed I asked r we having sex and she replied no I'm tired and she slowly went to bed and I was upset and couldn't sleep so I went and slepted on couch, she thinks I'm mad because we didn't have sex, but as soon as I went to work she deleted all the messages and we haven't talked yet. I feel that she was going behind my back and lieing to me? Am I in the wrong

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By *teveNW81Man
over a year ago

wigan

That hurted my head.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You need to speak to her not us I think. But I really think you need honesty between you, my husband knows all messages I get and photos I send x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think...

The OP met another couple on Facebook. The male half of the other couple was really into it, the female half wasn't.

Then the wife of the OP was flirting and sending photos with the husband of the other couple but the OP asked and she denied it.

Then they met and... I don't know?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That hurted my head."

Mine as wells

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Talk to your wife.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hmm I'm no expert, but i don't think that's how couple's swing buddy. Lies & making plans behind partners back thts more cheating than swinging! Don't let it grow into something bigger, have words cause in this case I thing "yes" she is in the wrong way acting

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Your wife is lying to you about interaction with a third party and you have to ask outsiders if she is in the wrong?

I think you need to call a halt to your "swinging" until you establish the ground rules and boundaries of your relationship.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

People use Facebook to swing?

Seems crazily indiscreet but each to their own

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Tell her you have seen the messages and ask why she has lied to you about them.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll put it this way. If I were in your shoes and my husband had done something lile this I would be extremely pissed off to say the least.

I'm not jealous or posessive and neither is he but our relationship is built on trust and honesty and there is no place for deceit. The lying would be the worst part.

We agreed from day one that if either of us were unhappy, bored, interested in a third party and so on we would just be truthful about it. We talk and talk and talk about anything and everything. Nothing is off limits and we are blisfully happy.

That is how our relationship works. Not sure about how other people choose to run theres so it may be different for you.

Anyhow, I think you need to talk to your wife and perhaps take a break from swinging.

Good luck.

Mrs

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That hurted my head."

Brilliant

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

My ex husband did something very similar when we swung... I wasn't that bothered about him fucking the other person but exceedingly pissed off he lied to me. That is not swinging it's an affair in my eyes.

Talk to her tell her you saw the messages and know they have been deleted. She may be upset you were 'checking' up on her but you will never know until you talk to her.

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By *eavenNhellCouple
over a year ago

carrbrook stalybridge

"The other day we was on Facebook, meet a nice couple and we made plans to go see them in a month, well next few days everything I post in swinger group he responds right away with comments of how he wants my wife. So I tried to get involved and message his wife, she seems she is not interested. So I lefted it where it was at, next day while I'm at work wife texts and says I'm gonna take a shower, first thing that came to my mind was u never take a shower in middle of day and y r u telling me that out of no where with out any other convo, so I asked OK why? And she responded I washed my cloths and I want to get clean, I reply OK. Then she send another message saying and I'm gonna send u pics, I responded back awesome! Then she replyed how we was gonna have good sex and told me in detail. Well she logged on my phone with Facebook a couple days ago and she didn't know I could see messages cuz app was logged under me. Well anyway while I was at work I kepted seeing her get messages on my notification. So I deleted the messenger app and I could see her messages, come to find out she was messaging him and she sent him same pics plus more to him 20 minutes before she sent them to me and they was maken plans for between them when. We go meet them, I told my self this is why we swing I guess, so I kepted my mouth shut and went home, when we was sitting there talking I asked if she talked or got any messages from anyone and she said no, I asked even that guy didn't message u, she said no didn't talk to him all day and told me a story about his wife that she told her over messages but she never did talk to her on Facebook, so rest of night she was pissy with me and when it came down to goto bed I asked r we having sex and she replied no I'm tired and she slowly went to bed and I was upset and couldn't sleep so I went and slepted on couch, she thinks I'm mad because we didn't have sex, but as soon as I went to work she deleted all the messages and we haven't talked yet. I feel that she was going behind my back and lieing to me? Am I in the wrong"
after the break were back for the lie detector results

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By *atie ShayTV/TS
over a year ago

"Tell her you have seen the messages and ask why she has lied to you about them.

Agree!!

Hope you get sorted op, it don't sound a pleasant situation

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By *rightonfranceMan
over a year ago

brighton - chalais france

sounds like a conundrum only Jeremy kyle could fix, not sure about lie detector results, but I think there may be some screaming and fisticuffs

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

Talk to your wife. If you don't mind who she has sex with, make sure that she knows that.

I like the word 'kepted' and I'm gonna use it mesen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What language was that?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Your wife is lying to you about interaction with a third party and you have to ask outsiders if she is in the wrong?

I think you need to call a halt to your "swinging" until you establish the ground rules and boundaries of your relationship."

Argee with the above

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By *he weekend coupleCouple
over a year ago

bromley

She is bang out of order and I'm sure she wouldn't like it if you did the same

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Maybe she'll read this and you won't have to ask her

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I think she was wrong!

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

I re- read this in a " bluebottle " ( goons) voice .

And I getted it all .

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

"That hurted my head."

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By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central

Games are destructive - keep things honest. If you know something then put it out in the open, then you can properly discuss it.

And agree your swinging rules. Consider just using fab instead of fbook etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That hurted my head.

Mine as wells"

Head explode here!

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By *helsea 22Woman
over a year ago

barnsley

"That hurted my head."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"That hurted my head."

Ok? I'm sorry, this made me giggle

Me bad xx

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By *ongleggedfemaleWoman
over a year ago

Bucks

"That hurted my head."

Omg...made me laugh. Thanks

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

So your wife cheated on you and tried to pass it off as swinging?

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By *all and ChainWoman
over a year ago

Truro

The OP's wife lied to him and deceived him, niot just one little white lie or a moment's poor judgement, but a whole series of messages, a deliberate and chosen course of action.

What the OP does is his business.

My / our advice is your marriage is over, sooner you learn and deal with that lesson and move on the better for you.

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By *ustme64Woman
over a year ago

St Annes

"That hurted my head."

Lmfao

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By *evaquitCouple
over a year ago

Catthorpe

Sorry to read about your situation OP.

Him

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Maybe she'll read this and you won't have to ask her"

Yeah... good luck with that. My eyes blurred after he fifth line

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

I couldn't read the original post, but I have learned over the last 43 years that the wife is always right.

Cal

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By *issyfaggotfayeTV/TS
over a year ago

Bolton

Just one question ....... would you mind if she met alone?

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By *ormalcouple219 OP Couple
over a year ago

Michigan City

No agreement was we do everything together and be open about everything

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By *woOfaKindCouple
over a year ago

Lancaster area

It's crazy that people can be in an Open Relationship, and yet still cheat.

My wife and I just chatted about this. There is definitely an issue if you both have permission to have sex with another person, yet one person lies or hides things from their spouse. Why lie? Everything needs to be discussed openly.

Granted, there are certain rules to solo meets. For example, if my wife does not approve of somebody that I want to be with, then we need to discuss it. If we cannot come to an agreement, then there is NO solo meet, and I would respect that. Or, if she wanted an MMF, then I would need to approve of both guys.

You need to make sure that your partner is your priority. And I'm not judging...I fouled up a few times myself when we first started this journey.

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By *teveNW81Man
over a year ago

wigan

"That hurted my head.

Omg...made me laugh. Thanks

I'm here all week!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I re- read this in a " bluebottle " ( goons) voice .

And I getted it all ."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's crazy that people can be in an Open Relationship, and yet still cheat.

You need to make sure that your partner is your priority. And I'm not judging...I fouled up a few times myself when we first started this journey.

"
Agreed. My ex-wife was fully aware that I was happy for her to screw around, but whenever the topic came up she would get really angry and say she 'wasn't that kind of woman'. I knew she was doing it behind my back, though, a fact confirmed by her sister-in-law when I was talking to her a few years after we had split. She told me that she had had at least 15-20 lovers, that she knew of, while we were married, including three colleagues (two of which I had always suspected). Why do it behind my back when she knew she had my blessing? Never understand that.

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