FabSwingers.com forum: let down.....

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I'm fed up with being let down for meets on this site

I'm a lady who enjoys sex, gives a great bj and yet guys arrange meets and then let me down the day before, or on the day with some lame ass excuse.

Can someone please tell me why?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

[Removed by poster at 15/03/11 18:24:00]

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

if they have text you before asking the following:

what will we do when we meet?

what will you be wearing?

they have shot their bolt.

and they are NOT repeaters anytime soon xx

sorry you have been let down.. you will see thro the simpletons soon x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Don't take it personally you'll drive yourself mad and make yourself feel rubbish.

Dreamers, people who have had a long day and can't be arsed, people who get cold feet...The list is endless.

Hope you find some better luck soon x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fed up with being let down for meets on this site

I'm a lady who enjoys sex, gives a great bj and yet guys arrange meets and then let me down the day before, or on the day with some lame ass excuse.

Can someone please tell me why?"
there dead loss for a start

am trying to get 1 will never turn down a lady for meet

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This site needs an enema!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reading your profile, I have absolutely no idea! They must be mad! Can only guess they are not what they said they were.

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By *Y MAN n MECouple
over a year ago

FIFE

I'm afraid to say it is par for the course here! it's not just you hun, even as a couple we get the no shows and excuses. you just got to think its their loss, and move on, don't give them the saticfaction of them underminding your confidence.

Allan always says if he were a single guy that actually gets a yes to meeting for nsa fun he wouldn't not turn up. just can't understand it, but chin up there's always genuine guys round the corner to restore your faith in swinging! we'll that's what we've found anyway XXXX Heather

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

thanks all for your comments... was feeling a little low, but you've all cheered me up a bit

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i was let down 4 times in 2 weeks and harassed once this week

was going to delete but woke up with the " fuck em attitude"

so get up dust yourself off and you are better than them

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By *ibrosMan
over a year ago

harrow

"thanks all for your comments... was feeling a little low, but you've all cheered me up a bit

I think there are a lot of guys have spent months, years even, chasing a meet. Then when one comes along they've forgotten why they were chasing. And more likely have no idea how they are going to follow through.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

poor u girl dnt let it get to you probs had no intention of meeting at all block them dnt waste you time on these people .

i bet there sad fuckers that sit behind a screen and get off on dirty mails saying how nice you r how they want to do this to you and sitting wanking .

only thing that i would say is dnt give address or mobile out to the day you meeting them ......

also do they think you time aint preshish to u .

there loss you meet genuine one am sure .happens to us all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was let down 4 times in 2 weeks and harassed once this week

was going to delete but woke up with the " fuck em attitude"

so get up dust yourself off and you are better than them

That's the attitude that's needed sometimes

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"i was let down 4 times in 2 weeks and harassed once this week

was going to delete but woke up with the " fuck em attitude"

so get up dust yourself off and you are better than them

That's the attitude that's needed sometimes

took me a few days to get off my feeling sorry mood and think u know what " fuck you" x

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

i bet there sad fuckers that sit behind a screen and get off on dirty mails saying how nice you r how they want to do this to you and sitting wanking .

what ya wearing just now? could you describe it please... slowly and if you could add the word 'stroke' at the end of every sentence...

ta xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its not nice when you are let down its only happened to us once

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

_iew lmfao am naked no not stroking my bean lmao

need more then a mail to stimulate my needs

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By *im halpertMan
over a year ago

redditch

they are crazy not to meet you..good luck xxx

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

"_iew lmfao am naked no not stroking my bean lmao

need more then a mail to stimulate my needs

ffs, some people are just plain needy

xxxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i bet there sad fuckers that sit behind a screen and get off on dirty mails saying how nice you r how they want to do this to you and sitting wanking .

what ya wearing just now? could you describe it please... slowly and if you could add the word 'stroke' at the end of every sentence...

ta xxx

phone me later ill show u how to make you purrr then you will get me going on cam arrange to meet and not meet

hows that

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

awwwwwwwww i thought i was greedy me self lol for sauage lol

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

i bet there sad fuckers that sit behind a screen and get off on dirty mails saying how nice you r how they want to do this to you and sitting wanking .

what ya wearing just now? could you describe it please... slowly and if you could add the word 'stroke' at the end of every sentence...

ta xxx

phone me later ill show u how to make you purrr then you will get me going on cam arrange to meet and not meet

hows that

deal done x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i bet there sad fuckers that sit behind a screen and get off on dirty mails saying how nice you r how they want to do this to you and sitting wanking .

what ya wearing just now? could you describe it please... slowly and if you could add the word 'stroke' at the end of every sentence...

ta xxx

phone me later ill show u how to make you purrr then you will get me going on cam arrange to meet and not meet

hows that

deal done x

but dont forget you cant meet me

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

i bet there sad fuckers that sit behind a screen and get off on dirty mails saying how nice you r how they want to do this to you and sitting wanking .

what ya wearing just now? could you describe it please... slowly and if you could add the word 'stroke' at the end of every sentence...

ta xxx

phone me later ill show u how to make you purrr then you will get me going on cam arrange to meet and not meet

hows that

deal done x

but dont forget you cant meet me

no worries, I am doing a five stretch anyway

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Its happened to me a few times, i like to boost my ego and think they bottled it 'cos i is so hot'!!!

So why not think the same?

They couldnt handle ya babe, so move onto someone who thinks they can!

xxx

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Thanx hun xxx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/03/11 21:22:46]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I can't believe we're even discussing this! I like what I see!

Little boys who lost their nerve. you'll find your man soon!

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I'm fed up with being let down for meets on this site

I'm a lady who enjoys sex, gives a great bj and yet guys arrange meets and then let me down the day before, or on the day with some lame ass excuse.

Can someone please tell me why?"

okay.. i am going to sound like mr harsh now....

what is the common thing.. or person... in all of this.... its you...

so maybe if you are attracting "timewasters" then what are "you" going to do to change the way "you" pick the people "you" play with....

its all on "you" to decide..... no one is holding a gun to "your" head.....

notice the theme......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fed up with being let down for meets on this site

I'm a lady who enjoys sex, gives a great bj and yet guys arrange meets and then let me down the day before, or on the day with some lame ass excuse.

Can someone please tell me why?

okay.. i am going to sound like mr harsh now....

what is the common thing.. or person... in all of this.... its you...

so maybe if you are attracting "timewasters" then what are "you" going to do to change the way "you" pick the people "you" play with....

its all on "you" to decide..... no one is holding a gun to "your" head.....

notice the theme......

That is a bit harsh dude. You can set up all the failsafes you want but it doesn't mean they'll work so then it becomes personal.

Don't get me wrong, a change of approach might help but it's not a guarantee.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You are completely wrong Fabio. No matter how careful you are, you will still attract liars & timewasters. They will say what you want to hear, & your defences are down. Changing a profile just changes the type of timewaster you attract, been there, done it. If I could be bothered, I'd arrange a meet with you & not show, just to prove it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get somewhat frustrated by these regular reports of single males who back out at the last minute/don't show up - how come they are the ones who seem to get as far as meeting, yet there are so many genuine men on here that don't even get any replies to messages?

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

I'm sure it's nothing to do with yourself. As with all things nothing is perfect. For example it costs nothing to set up a profile, so when anything is free it can be abused as it costs them nothing.

Even with only meeting verified people it's hard to check whether it's real or not. If I was a single male (or female) and so inclinded it would take me all of what 1 hour to set up multiple profiles and cross verify each other. Pictures are plentiful on the web and anyone with a little photoshop knowledge can transpose people into other pictures.

Not that I'm suggesting this is something that should be done or is done by people on a regular basis. Just pointing out that verifications are not a fool proof method. In the end its still a bit similar to going out to a night club with the intention of pulling. You never know which guy or gal there is up for the same or just some light flirtation, a bit of a snog before heading home to their bf or gf. Or which married person has took their ring off for the night intent on a bit of cheating.

I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there in cheshire for a meeting. We have only arranged 2 meets on here in our time, because of the nature of us being restricted to babysitting at specific times and dates, we can't do the social meet up for a drink first, so Clubs are quite useful for us at the moment.

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By *uckandbunnyCouple
over a year ago

The Wild Wetness

Sorry when I say quite handy for us at the moment, we are not actually meeting at the moment. I should have said handy when we are up for meeting other.

Doh!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm agreeing 'mildly' with Fabio here.... in 3 years, I've never been let down by a single man. But I consider that's due to MY selection and filtering process. I don't do 'quick meets' so yes, that means some nights I am at home on my own feeling frisky. But I'd rather do that than risk wasting MY time getting ready for a meet who just turns out to be some horny lad with his cock in his hand, who's shot his load at the thought that he COULD HAVE shagged me.

Careful selection and filtering, and taking time to get to know someone, is the way to avoid having your time wasted.

Happy swinging, all! xxx

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

That is a bit harsh dude. You can set up all the failsafes you want but it doesn't mean they'll work so then it becomes personal.

Don't get me wrong, a change of approach might help but it's not a guarantee.

I knew it would sound harsh..... so okay... so "one" timewaster may be unlucky... and "two" may be unfortunate...

but if you are encountering "more" timewasters... that that is a pattern and that is a pattern that can be broken by only one person.....

"you"

if something was going wrong or wasn't working in any other part or walk of life... what would you do about it? you would change what you were doing!

so why in effect is swinging any different?????

it may only take a small change (like talking and getting to people more, or if there are alarm bells going off in your head, holding back!)....

or it may take a whopping big change! (like changing the people go look at, you do the chasing and taking a grip rather than letting people chase you).... but you would change something none the less!!!

people are quick to want to look good and say "there there there" but that isn't a solution to the problem....

in the end it is a problem that is a fixable situation and one that is changeable... so why not change it!!!

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

In _abios defence we have never had someone fail to turn up,

so either we are incredibly lucky,or there is some common denominator to the meets we arrange.

It is very easy to blame the site,guess what plenty of ppl get meets here.So Why does it work for some and not others?

It is easy to spot the "wankers" imo a meet arranges time and date,phone no.s are swapped,confirmation given

"wankers" want to know what will happen,what i will be wearing ,what i like...

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By *abioMan
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"You are completely wrong Fabio. No matter how careful you are, you will still attract liars & timewasters. They will say what you want to hear, & your defences are down. Changing a profile just changes the type of timewaster you attract, been there, done it. If I could be bothered, I'd arrange a meet with you & not show, just to prove it"

see... and that is where we differ... in the 5 yrs ish i have been swinging I can count the "timewasters" I have had on one hand.... I am having an absolute blast!!!

maybe because I talk and talk to people and get a feel for that person, and if I am not happy I wont meet until I am happy....

or maybe if there is an alarm bell going off in my head thinking "something here isn't quite right ... i won't meet or I'll keep talking till I they aren't going off....

or maybe i like to meet socially first... and if i am not happy i won't meet again or talk some more until i am and try again....

there are some tell tell signs out there... people will tell you those...

There are people out there who don't encounter timewasters... maybe my timewaster radar is more finely tuned.. maybe I am more cautious... maybe I take much longer time...

but there are the checks and balances I put in... and the due diligence that I do.. maybe others aren't so exacting... I don't know....

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

see... and that is where we differ... in the 5 yrs ish i have been swinging I can count the "timewasters" I have had on one hand.... I am having an absolute blast!!!

maybe because I talk and talk to people and get a feel for that person, and if I am not happy I wont meet until I am happy....

or maybe if there is an alarm bell going off in my head thinking "something here isn't quite right ... i won't meet or I'll keep talking till I they aren't going off....

or maybe i like to meet socially first... and if i am not happy i won't meet again or talk some more until i am and try again....

there are some tell tell signs out there... people will tell you those...

There are people out there who don't encounter timewasters... maybe my timewaster radar is more finely tuned.. maybe I am more cautious... maybe I take much longer time...

but there are the checks and balances I put in... and the due diligence that I do.. maybe others aren't so exacting... I don't know...."

TBh i don't know if it is about the social side either,we do meets straight from ads we put up,i still think it is relatively easy to spot a time waster from the tenor of their reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm fed up with being let down for meets on this site

I'm a lady who enjoys sex, gives a great bj and yet guys arrange meets and then let me down the day before, or on the day with some lame ass excuse.

Can someone please tell me why?

okay.. i am going to sound like mr harsh now....

what is the common thing.. or person... in all of this.... its you...

so maybe if you are attracting "timewasters" then what are "you" going to do to change the way "you" pick the people "you" play with....

its all on "you" to decide..... no one is holding a gun to "your" head.....

notice the theme......

Exactly!

Personally, if I was constantly being let down I'd check to see what I was doing wrong...it can't always be the other fellas fault can it?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't feel there is a right or wrong answer to this. We all have our checks and conditions which vary from person to person.

If someone out there has a 100% foolproof solution to stop this problem from happening, please step forward.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe your meeting the wrong people hun make sure they are the right meets and take time to get to know people you are interested in , be safe and enjoy

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By *andy muncherMan
over a year ago

Nottingham

"In _abios defence we have never had someone fail to turn up,

so either we are incredibly lucky,or there is some common denominator to the meets we arrange.

It is very easy to blame the site,guess what plenty of ppl get meets here.So Why does it work for some and not others?

It is easy to spot the "wankers" imo a meet arranges time and date,phone no.s are swapped,confirmation given

"wankers" want to know what will happen,what i will be wearing ,what i like..."

some good advice there and your very true about ones who ask questions one you going to do to my wife and tell me more im sorry but my sex chat days are over i do my talking on the meet and thats in the bedroom

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

see... and that is where we differ... in the 5 yrs ish i have been swinging I can count the "timewasters" I have had on one hand.... I am having an absolute blast!!!

maybe because I talk and talk to people and get a feel for that person, and if I am not happy I wont meet until I am happy....

or maybe if there is an alarm bell going off in my head thinking "something here isn't quite right ... i won't meet or I'll keep talking till I they aren't going off....

or maybe i like to meet socially first... and if i am not happy i won't meet again or talk some more until i am and try again....

there are some tell tell signs out there... people will tell you those...

There are people out there who don't encounter timewasters... maybe my timewaster radar is more finely tuned.. maybe I am more cautious... maybe I take much longer time...

but there are the checks and balances I put in... and the due diligence that I do.. maybe others aren't so exacting... I don't know...."

To be fair Fabio, you are correct in taking time over a meet, this is especially true for a lone female or couple. I have been on here only 5 months, but have had 40+ meets. I don't do social, just meet for sex, often short notice. I've had 30+ timewasters, hundreds just message crap, or 'want to talk sex' who I delete or block (sometimes it takes me a while b4 I realise its crap, although I don't actually call them a timewaster until they fail to show.) I rarely message anyone, I am approached first, mostly by 'straight' guys, or 'male half of couples'. Often arrange 3/4 meets a night, to account for timewasters, but sometimes everyone turns up! lol

Point is, I don't vet much, as I will have sex with pretty much anyone, and am confident I can look after myself. However, OP was saying, she was stood up. I'm pretty sure she vets her meets, well, as she should, so, she met a dick-head. It is not any fault of hers, or her profile, its the ass-holes that prowl the internet (I find I get more 'timewasters' in the winter, 'cause they are sat at home with f all to do!)

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