FabSwingers.com forum: Messaging someone knowing you aren't their type ?!

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Does anyone on here do this hoping that they can change the individuals mind and if so do you get joy from it ?!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Forget it.. you have no chance. Once they've made their mind up.. based on a photo and not much else..

All the sweet talking in the world will get you nowhere but deleted.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think the majority of people don't read profiles to even find out if said person has a type

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I really hate it when people do this.

It's a total lack of respect for someone personal choice

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

We don't but loads do or should I say loads appear to but I'm guessing its much more a case of not having read our profile.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only if it's forum related. I know my limits!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 31/05/16 17:49:28]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

Pointless as I prefer to be rejected by women that I match

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It is worth a try as you never know lol.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

I have enough problems with messaging people who I think are my type let alone bothering with ones that aren't

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *incs cplCouple
over a year ago

gainsborough

[Removed by poster at 31/05/16 17:59:57]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *incs cplCouple
over a year ago

gainsborough

[Removed by poster at 31/05/16 18:00:32]

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"Does anyone on here do this hoping that they can change the individuals mind and if so do you get joy from it ?! "

I never try to change someone's mind - but I do enjoy chatting with people that I feel there is common ground with. Up to them a) if they decide to reply and B) whether it turns into anything more.

So - I might message someone who isn't interested in me sexually to start with. But - if they say or delete - I have my answer

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ungBlackTopMan
over a year ago

salford

that's called desperation.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only if it's forum related. I know my limits!"

This for me too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I only search people based on my preference .... want to meet people who share my interest (haha does anyone?!)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

I will chat to people on the forums about threads ... I don't come here to tout for meets. I am interested in people and their opinions so why not .... I do try to make it clear we aren't meeting so they know this

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

lots of people are my type apparently. sometimes i think having a profile doesn't help when there's so many chancers.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lots do. I have no idea why.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I have enough problems with messaging people who I think are my type let alone bothering with ones that aren't "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't really specify a type on my profile as I like to make my mind up from the message if it's any good ...

Sadly not many are

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Have done once, saw a guy but his profile said his preference was tall blondes. I'm a short brunette, still fucked me though so more fool him for not sticking to his principles.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *histler21Man
over a year ago

Ipswich

"that's called desperation."

I don't see it that way. I have friends on here that I just chat with. And some who I have sex with.

For me - it's not just about sex

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *oluptuousWetOneWoman
over a year ago

Wokingham / Reading

"Does anyone on here do this hoping that they can change the individuals mind and if so do you get joy from it ?! "

Think some must just like the challenge

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone on here do this hoping that they can change the individuals mind and if so do you get joy from it ?! "

If you're doing it to hope you'll change their mind you're wasting your time and ours - people get more than enough messages already. It is because they are bombarded like that that many well-directed messages also get ignored.

In the past, I have messaged people complimenting them on great photos or profile, or forum post - but make it clear I know I'm not their type and don't expect anything in return.

Sometimes it sparks a platonic back and forth of friendly messages, which can be nice but to be honest, I'm here to meet, not to message.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I suppose it's a bit like telephone cold calling, in that if they ring enough people then eventually one will bite. If someone on here messages enough people, irrespective of what their profile says, they may get a favourable response eventually. I hasten to add, I do not do this!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"that's called desperation.

I don't see it that way. I have friends on here that I just chat with. And some who I have sex with.

For me - it's not just about sex"

i'd love more guys like this on fab, or the internet in general really, and real life...i often talk to people as friends and it always ends up they have an agenda and they want sex.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

"Have done once, saw a guy but his profile said his preference was tall blondes. I'm a short brunette, still fucked me though so more fool him for not sticking to his principles. "

But surly it's a preference that can be changed

For me I don't say what I am looking for mainly because I don't want to limit a female or couple

I would say I enjoy different types of women at different times and my prefs allow for that

Same with couples

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

i dont really get it...and a lot reply 'oh its worth a try'....on what planet is it worth a try? i wonder if they go through life with the same attitude,constantly applying for jobs as a brain surgeon or the like,attempting to get to fly jets when they've never been in a plane etc..all a bit self-defeating ..

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *1212Man
over a year ago

birmingham

Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iscean MaleMan
over a year ago

Darlaston

Once. Started to chat off a forum thread.. arranged a meet which was nice. Her profile stated "no asians"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

"Only if it's forum related. I know my limits!

This for me too

And me

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *onny MCMan
over a year ago

Crawley

If they list half a dozen criteria and you meet 4 or 5 of them, it's worth a shot.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Only if it's forum related. I know my limits!"

indeed

totally agree x

although alot of ppl on here should pull their heads out of their own arses and get a life....!!!! haa..!! just sayin.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they list half a dozen criteria and you meet 4 or 5 of them, it's worth a shot."

Precisely.

People who lay out a rigid set of precise physical, mental, social and cultural attributes for their meets do my head in.

You're meeting people FFS...you're not buying a house, a car, or a new computer. Reducing potential meets to a checklist of iron-clad criteria just makes me dismiss you as mind-meltingly shallow.

Ultimately, it's the difference between saying:

'I'd prefer to meet someone who's taller than myself,'

and

'Users under six feet tall will be deleted and blocked.'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *woOfaKindCouple
over a year ago

Lancaster area

Along the same lines, I find it very funny when people say in their profile that they have NO interest in BBWs, but they keep looking at our pics!

Or, we see repeated looks by white people that do not want to be with black or mixed couples.

They must see something that they like! Haha!

-JD

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Along the same lines, I find it very funny when people say in their profile that they have NO interest in BBWs, but they keep looking at our pics!

Or, we see repeated looks by white people that do not want to be with black or mixed couples.

They must see something that they like! Haha!

-JD"

I know exactly what you mean. I recently entered into an exchange with a user who winked at me and sent me a message gushing over one of my pics...

However, his profile insisted that he was STRAIGHT, and that he had NO INTEREST in bisexual men...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Does anyone on here do this hoping that they can change the individuals mind and if so do you get joy from it ?! "

It depends if you're talking about TYPES or PREFERENCES.

Personally, I think it's ridiculous to say that you have a TYPE, because that suggests that all people who possess a particular attribute can be categorised in the same way. It also suggests that you exclude anyone who does not fit that description, irrespective of their other qualities.

By contrast, a PREFERENCE suggests that you exhibit a bias towards particular attributes, and are more likely to seek out people who possess those attributes. However, it also suggests that you do not consider those attributes to be 'essential' in a partner.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"If they list half a dozen criteria and you meet 4 or 5 of them, it's worth a shot."

That I do get. When the one criteria is another woman and they quite clearly are in full possession of trouser danglies, that I don't get.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

Flagrante

"Does anyone on here do this hoping that they can change the individuals mind and if so do you get joy from it ?! "

Yes they do and in our case, no they don't.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

"Along the same lines, I find it very funny when people say in their profile that they have NO interest in BBWs, but they keep looking at our pics!

Or, we see repeated looks by white people that do not want to be with black or mixed couples.

They must see something that they like! Haha!

-JD

I know exactly what you mean. I recently entered into an exchange with a user who winked at me and sent me a message gushing over one of my pics...

However, his profile insisted that he was STRAIGHT, and that he had NO INTEREST in bisexual men..."

That's cos he was Fab Straight

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Along the same lines, I find it very funny when people say in their profile that they have NO interest in BBWs, but they keep looking at our pics!

Or, we see repeated looks by white people that do not want to be with black or mixed couples.

They must see something that they like! Haha!

-JD

I know exactly what you mean. I recently entered into an exchange with a user who winked at me and sent me a message gushing over one of my pics...

However, his profile insisted that he was STRAIGHT, and that he had NO INTEREST in bisexual men...

That's cos he was Fab Straight

Fab Straight? I'm afraid that you have me at a disadvantage...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I sometimes message someone who I know I don't match criteria or they don't match mine just to either chat about something in the forum or to give a compliment.

A fact also is that many people are willing to bend their own rules in some circumstances. In fact more do than don't in my experience.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ouplekinkCouple
over a year ago

kink town

We don't get annoyed when people try it, as they are only wasting their own time. If they are not what we are looking for (haven't read our profile) we simply don't answer.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No only ever message those im in age limits and smoker status

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread