Join us FREE, we're FREE to use
Web's largest swingers site since 2006.
Already registered?
Login here
Back to forum list |
Back to Swingers Chat |
Jump to newest |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why is it rude to ask where they're originally from? " I dunno. No-one has ever objected when I've asked, but there was a post on here a while ago where someone said you shouldn't ask black and Asian guys where they were born as you're assuming they weren't born in the UK. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why is it rude to ask where they're originally from? I dunno. No-one has ever objected when I've asked, but there was a post on here a while ago where someone said you shouldn't ask black and Asian guys where they were born as you're assuming they weren't born in the UK." You are not asking them where they were born, but where they have been living recently | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why is it rude to ask where they're originally from? I dunno. No-one has ever objected when I've asked, but there was a post on here a while ago where someone said you shouldn't ask black and Asian guys where they were born as you're assuming they weren't born in the UK." Crazy, just crazy! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why is it rude to ask where they're originally from? I dunno. No-one has ever objected when I've asked, but there was a post on here a while ago where someone said you shouldn't ask black and Asian guys where they were born as you're assuming they weren't born in the UK. You are not asking them where they were born, but where they have been living recently" No, I'm asking them where they're from. that is, their nationality. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Anyway in answer to your question, do you really want to fuck someone who'd be offended at such a harmless question?" Well if a guy comes along and says its offensive on this post, I'll know not to ask. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Anyway in answer to your question, do you really want to fuck someone who'd be offended at such a harmless question? Well if a guy comes along and says its offensive on this post, I'll know not to ask. " When it comes to your health (or death) you should be prepared to offend! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"This is full of prejudice in my opinion. Why would your nationality have anything to do with STI's? So if you were born in Germany for example, and lived in England the entire time, how does being born in Germany corellate to STI liklihood You had sex as a new born baby? Your mother could have passed it to you because she lived in Germany? By the way, I would not be offended. " Because in parts of the world HIV is more common. They ask questions to determine the likelihood of you having caught something. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why is it rude to ask where they're originally from? " Because too often says 'where are you from?' And someone says 'England' Which is often followed up by 'No, where are you *really* from?' which is kind of offensive. OP - if you suspect that someone was not born as a UK national, perhaps ask if they've always lived in the UK? Or is their heritage British? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I dunno....if I asked a black person or Asian who was speaking with a vaguely English accent where they were from, ID be expecting an answer like "Birmingham" or "Bournemouth". If they spoke with a foreign accent if any kind maybe I'd expect a different answer but the enquiry would still be casual conversation..... Don't see what's offensive. Im white British and I still get asked where I'm from. I say " up north" " The problem is when they insist that you're from somewhere not in the UK. My partner gets it quite a bit. He's from Leeds, his family are from Leeds. He has middle-eastern heritage. People are very insistent that he's not from here. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"This is full of prejudice in my opinion. Why would your nationality have anything to do with STI's? So if you were born in Germany for example, and lived in England the entire time, how does being born in Germany corellate to STI liklihood You had sex as a new born baby? Your mother could have passed it to you because she lived in Germany? By the way, I would not be offended. " Playing Devil's Advocate here: A larger percentage of non-British people now living in Britain will have lived overseas more recently and for longer than native Britons. You're taking a specific selection of non-Britons and applying it to all non-Britons. Also maybe those of different nationalities tend to migrate to particular areas of the UK where STIs are more common, i.e. London. But then I suppose the correlation there is more where they move to, rather than where exactly they've moved from. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why is it rude to ask where they're originally from? Because too often says 'where are you from?' And someone says 'England' Which is often followed up by 'No, where are you *really* from?' which is kind of offensive. OP - if you suspect that someone was not born as a UK national, perhaps ask if they've always lived in the UK? Or is their heritage British?" I'm not offended when people ask where I'm really from. I can't see why asking someone where they were born is deemed as offensive. I've been asked if I'm Lithuanian and Greek a few times. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"All you need to ask is have you got a comdom " I have my own. Even more now after the recent visit | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why is it rude to ask where they're originally from? Because too often says 'where are you from?' And someone says 'England' Which is often followed up by 'No, where are you *really* from?' which is kind of offensive. OP - if you suspect that someone was not born as a UK national, perhaps ask if they've always lived in the UK? Or is their heritage British? I'm not offended when people ask where I'm really from. I can't see why asking someone where they were born is deemed as offensive. I've been asked if I'm Lithuanian and Greek a few times." It's the implication that you couldn't possibly be British because of the way you look or your mannerisms. That you are an outsider. You don't belong here. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I like knowing where people are from. I've been dying to ask my workmen where they are from,I'm a nosey cow I like to get an idea of what it's like to live in other countries. They tell us and our children we should embrace diversity then accuse us of being offensive when we ask questions. " That's the thing. I travel a lot and love to hear about other countries. I'm not asking to exclude them. I'm asking because I'm nosy. But I don't want to offend. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I like knowing where people are from. I've been dying to ask my workmen where they are from,I'm a nosey cow I like to get an idea of what it's like to live in other countries. They tell us and our children we should embrace diversity then accuse us of being offensive when we ask questions. " Exactly, many are genuinely curious and interested. Some people are too easily offended. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Of course you should ask, why put your health at risk for the sake of political correctness? Also depending on the country involved, the risk could be a lot greater than slightly higher." It is very clear on blood donor forms.....lots of questions about having sex with people from Africa, or having sex with someone who has had sex with people from Africa etc..... It is a sad FACT but true nonetheless that some areas of said continent have more people who are HIV positive than not! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I like knowing where people are from. I've been dying to ask my workmen where they are from,I'm a nosey cow I like to get an idea of what it's like to live in other countries. They tell us and our children we should embrace diversity then accuse us of being offensive when we ask questions. That's the thing. I travel a lot and love to hear about other countries. I'm not asking to exclude them. I'm asking because I'm nosy. But I don't want to offend." Ask away. Listening to stories is fantastic as it develops a conversation between you. And by asking you're educating yourself - which is never a bad thing. 2 birds 1 stone! | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I like knowing where people are from. I've been dying to ask my workmen where they are from,I'm a nosey cow I like to get an idea of what it's like to live in other countries. They tell us and our children we should embrace diversity then accuse us of being offensive when we ask questions. That's the thing. I travel a lot and love to hear about other countries. I'm not asking to exclude them. I'm asking because I'm nosy. But I don't want to offend. Ask away. Listening to stories is fantastic as it develops a conversation between you. And by asking you're educating yourself - which is never a bad thing. 2 birds 1 stone!" 100% agree | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Anyway in answer to your question, do you really want to fuck someone who'd be offended at such a harmless question? Well if a guy comes along and says its offensive on this post, I'll know not to ask. " Not offensive, ask away | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OK this may get ugly, but its an honest question. I'm just back from my check up at the GUM clinic and was asked the nationality of the men I've shagged since my last check up. As I am a fan of the darker hued gentleman I mentioned that at least one was from overseas, and was told I had a slightly higher risk of a STI. Now my question is this: I've been told its rude to ask blacks and Asians where they are originally from, but if I am to be honest at my MoTs surely I should ask. Thoughts?" Nationality and ethnic origin can be different. If I am interested to know someone's ethnicity I would generally ask them where their family originates from - I've never had anyone offended and there often seems to be an appreciation that you are aware of the potential difference between nationality and ethnicity. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"... Bacteria and viruses do not care about a person's nationality!" Just this. I find their questions ridiculous and pointless. It's just for statistics, which are useless anyway. Some people get tested and lots don't. The stats are totally skewed before they start. I just say I don't know about the history of any partners. It has fuck all to do with the tests. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I've made a new thread with some statistice, but by nation, not by race or ethnicity. We are in first place for HPV, second place for Herpes, and fifth place for Chlamydia compared to other countries in the geographical area of Europe. And as someone already mentioned above, we do belong to the countries with most NEW cases of Chlamydia. My conclusion is, as I have ranted on about before, there are some quite big ignorants working for the NHS in Sexual Health clinics!" Could that be because we have focused on testing young people for Chlamydia? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Could that be because we have focused on testing young people for Chlamydia? " Not sure, because or else we would look better in the statistics, migth that be your point? It's based on data collected, thus, people who have been screened. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why is it rude to ask where they're originally from? I dunno. No-one has ever objected when I've asked, but there was a post on here a while ago where someone said you shouldn't ask black and Asian guys where they were born as you're assuming they weren't born in the UK. You are not asking them where they were born, but where they have been living recently No, I'm asking them where they're from. that is, their nationality." Their nationality isn't what raises their sti risk it's the possibility that they've had sex in a high risk country recently. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why is it rude to ask where they're originally from? Because too often says 'where are you from?' And someone says 'England' Which is often followed up by 'No, where are you *really* from?' which is kind of offensive. OP - if you suspect that someone was not born as a UK national, perhaps ask if they've always lived in the UK? Or is their heritage British? I'm not offended when people ask where I'm really from. I can't see why asking someone where they were born is deemed as offensive. I've been asked if I'm Lithuanian and Greek a few times. It's the implication that you couldn't possibly be British because of the way you look or your mannerisms. That you are an outsider. You don't belong here." Who decided to make assumptions on my reasons for questioning? Is this something dating back from the 60s that is being used as a way of being offended when the question isn't meant as offensive? | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OK this may get ugly, but its an honest question. I'm just back from my check up at the GUM clinic and was asked the nationality of the men I've shagged since my last check up. As I am a fan of the darker hued gentleman I mentioned that at least one was from overseas, and was told I had a slightly higher risk of a STI. Now my question is this: I've been told its rude to ask blacks and Asians where they are originally from, but if I am to be honest at my MoTs surely I should ask. Thoughts?" It is a valid question as incidence of STIs varies according to the country one is born in and also according to the country one visits. This means that a person born in various countries could carry an undiagnosed STI contracted in the womb. However in addition the incidence of various STIs is high in certain developing countries and any swinger should be aware that any person could have been exposed to an STI if they had engaged in sex in one of those countries (not just those born in the countries). On the same topic different groups of people such as bi-males who take part in male to male sex may have a higher incidence of STIs, as could heterosexuals who indulge in anal sex. It is a matter of being aware of the risks and assessing those risks | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"All you need to ask is have you got a comdom " What if the condom was born overseas | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why is it rude to ask where they're originally from? I dunno. No-one has ever objected when I've asked, but there was a post on here a while ago where someone said you shouldn't ask black and Asian guys where they were born as you're assuming they weren't born in the UK." My problem with this is if you ask where they are from where do they need to be from before you say "oh sorry I'm not going to shag you then?" And if they ask why would you really say because I have a greater risk of catching a sti from you? That's way to awkward for my likings | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I personally see no offence if someone asks where my original origins are from for interest. But if its to determine if the person asking is at a higher chance of catching an std, utter nonsense. To be honest its insulting.. i would think if the partner wants unprotected sex it tells me a bit about them. I call it double standards." I would be furious if somebody turned me down for sex because I wasn't born in the UK so they though I was a higher risk It is insulting, I take care of my sexual health and to suggest I am a higher risk for not being English is offensive to me | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I personally see no offence if someone asks where my original origins are from for interest. But if its to determine if the person asking is at a higher chance of catching an std, utter nonsense. To be honest its insulting.. i would think if the partner wants unprotected sex it tells me a bit about them. I call it double standards. I would be furious if somebody turned me down for sex because I wasn't born in the UK so they though I was a higher risk It is insulting, I take care of my sexual health and to suggest I am a higher risk for not being English is offensive to me " I was not referring to the race of the op i was referring to unprotected sex regardless of race. Besides race origin and all what comes with such topics is not an issue for me | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Interestingly we give blood and the question there is slightly different. Obviously they are most neurotic about Hiv, but the important question is not the other person's nationality per se, but whether they have ever been to a country where Hiv is prevalent. So this would include both the single white man who shagged a couple of sex-workers while on safari in Kenya, and the 'striaght' white guy who spent two weeks shagging Thai lady-boys up the arse. You can just imagine our pre-shag questionnaire! Mr ddc" That stupid questionnaire... It's cos I give blood I have to turn bi guys down :/ but not that I want to. I just won't be able to give blood otherwise. I don't care if they hide it from me though, so long as I can still walk in there and honestly say 'not to my knowledge'. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"Why is it rude to ask where they're originally from? I dunno. No-one has ever objected when I've asked, but there was a post on here a while ago where someone said you shouldn't ask black and Asian guys where they were born as you're assuming they weren't born in the UK. My problem with this is if you ask where they are from where do they need to be from before you say "oh sorry I'm not going to shag you then?" And if they ask why would you really say because I have a greater risk of catching a sti from you? That's way to awkward for my likings " IMO the risk increase is so tiny as to not make a difference, and I use condoms anyway (I know, not 100%, but still...). However when she asked me what nationality the guys were it made me think. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OK this may get ugly, but its an honest question. I'm just back from my check up at the GUM clinic and was asked the nationality of the men I've shagged since my last check up. As I am a fan of the darker hued gentleman I mentioned that at least one was from overseas, and was told I had a slightly higher risk of a STI. Now my question is this: I've been told its rude to ask blacks and Asians where they are originally from, but if I am to be honest at my MoTs surely I should ask. Thoughts?" Same as anyone on here, who knows who's more likely to have an sti use condoms and keep your fingers crossed.Someone could have sex with 10 people in a row from an HIV hotspot Country,then others who arn't which means the risk is passed on regardless of the nationality of the people you have sex with. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm Asian and I don't take offence when one asks me where I am from or how long I have been here cos they are just curious and want to know, it's fine. What I do take offence to is when someone says I 'speak very good english' ummmm I was born and bred in the UK I sure hope so.. " Do you get offended if people ask about your heritage and whether you have family living abroad? I've found some are sensitive about it and others are really enthusiastic and love talking about it. I'm very curious and fascinated in history/cultures/genealogy etc, but I think some may interpret this as questioning their nationality. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OK this may get ugly, but its an honest question. I'm just back from my check up at the GUM clinic and was asked the nationality of the men I've shagged since my last check up. As I am a fan of the darker hued gentleman I mentioned that at least one was from overseas, and was told I had a slightly higher risk of a STI. Now my question is this: I've been told its rude to ask blacks and Asians where they are originally from, but if I am to be honest at my MoTs surely I should ask. Thoughts?" There are ways to ask certain questions if you're worried about offending such as, do you travel abroad a lot? This can then lead to other questions like visiting family, etc. You then can make your own judgement or risk assessment based on the answers. We also like the darker gentlemen and for us, anyone may have a sti, not just blacks or Asians. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I like knowing where people are from. I've been dying to ask my workmen where they are from,I'm a nosey cow I like to get an idea of what it's like to live in other countries. They tell us and our children we should embrace diversity then accuse us of being offensive when we ask questions. That's the thing. I travel a lot and love to hear about other countries. I'm not asking to exclude them. I'm asking because I'm nosy. But I don't want to offend." I completely understand, and I think it's problematic because on one hand people are just curious and completely innocent in their asking - on the other hand some people still are rude to people of colour whether their British or not, and asking "where are you really from" probably sounds very critical and segregative. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"OK this may get ugly, but its an honest question. I'm just back from my check up at the GUM clinic and was asked the nationality of the men I've shagged since my last check up. As I am a fan of the darker hued gentleman I mentioned that at least one was from overseas, and was told I had a slightly higher risk of a STI. Now my question is this: I've been told its rude to ask blacks and Asians where they are originally from, but if I am to be honest at my MoTs surely I should ask. Thoughts?" I'll chime in also and say, because I often prefer non-white women, or women from continental europe I've been told that I am at higher risk. In my experience though these individuals are just as careful in terms of sexual health towards British men as we have a reputation for being not very careful and a little promiscuous so to speak. So there are two sides of the coin I suppose. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm from abroad and I don't have STI's Mrs SB " Oh, it's a British thing. We never ask people where they are from or get deep. We talk about the weather, footie, where we travelled far etc and then we go to the other end of the spectrum and fuck each other. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
"I'm from abroad and I don't have STI's Mrs SB Oh, it's a British thing. We never ask people where they are from or get deep. We talk about the weather, footie, where we travelled far etc and then we go to the other end of the spectrum and fuck each other. " You forgot tea,we talk about tea a lot too. I've been thinking. If I had to list the nationalities of all the men I'd had sex with it would be quite a long list. | |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
| |||
Reply privately | Reply in forum | Reply +quote |
Post new Message to Thread |
back to top |