FabSwingers.com forum: Self perspective

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Just a little observation I have had a few times and because I'm bored I though I'd share it with you all

Do you think other people view you the way you view yourself?

Reason I ask is every now and again I have a look at what pics of mine have been fabbed and it always amazes me that the pics I think I look my worse on always get the most fabs and my favourite pic hardly gets any, I sometimes think WTF how can you possibly prefer that pic over the one I think is my best

Maybe it's just me

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By *ittlewilMan
over a year ago

lye

Different things for different people. I, Jim, prefer to see attractive girl,, like yourself, wearing very little but showing nothing,, does that make sense? . I have no doubt you have a full social life.

Keep safe

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well...I think you know what I think

I'm not too sure how other people view me To be entirely honest, I don't even know how I view myself either. But, I hope those who have gotten to know me and met me don't hold any negative views.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I'm pretty sure other people don't view me as I view myself, I'm often surprised by how people refer to me

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

This is one of the things I gave up thinking about once I got my confidence back

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Judging by the message I just recieved I am certain that some people don't see me as I see myself

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"Judging by the message I just recieved I am certain that some people don't see me as I see myself

We quite often get messages from men saying how much they love BBW and I don't see myself that way.

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

"Just a little observation I have had a few times and because I'm bored I though I'd share it with you all

Do you think other people view you the way you view yourself?

Maybe it's just me

Of course not.

Just as your voice sounds different in your head to the way it does when you hear a recording of it, what you see in the mirror is not the same as what other people see.

Reality as you think you know it isn't real.

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By *enard ArgenteMan
over a year ago

London and France

I learned many years ago , not to care a damn what others think of me...

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Judging by the message I just recieved I am certain that some people don't see me as I see myself

Oh I not go into that one, so of the men who mail me I just look at them and think what the hell or they mailing me for this must be a joke

I've had some right good looking gym fit guys mail me and I just think WHAT get outa here

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think we are seen by others pretty much the way we see ourselves in the context of swinging .

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

"I learned many years ago , not to care a damn what others think of me..."

I don't care what other people think of me within reason but I do find it interesting that I'm perceived quite differently by others to how I perceive myself.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Judging by the message I just recieved I am certain that some people don't see me as I see myself

We quite often get messages from men saying how much they love BBW and I don't see myself that way."

And I'm the other way round, I get mail telling me not to be so hard on myself all the time and I do see myself that way

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By *igeiaWoman
over a year ago

Bristol

I am always slightly surprised by messages and comments I get about my body since I live with the reality of it being an ongoing work in progress, plus I get to see all the discarded pics that didn't make it. It's interesting how and why perceptions vary. I'm pretty secure on the whole but I think if I ever uploaded a public face pic and people preferred my arse I might feel differently...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a little observation I have had a few times and because I'm bored I though I'd share it with you all

Do you think other people view you the way you view yourself?

Maybe it's just me

No, same here! It boosts my self esteem lots

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I learned many years ago , not to care a damn what others think of me..."

I don't care, I just find it surprising that the pic I don't even like that much gets the most fabs and the pic that I looked at after it was taken and though "I actually don't look bad on that" (which don't happen often), gets hardly any

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I learned many years ago , not to care a damn what others think of me..."

Is that not seen as somewhat arrogant ?

I know you won't be in the slightest bit bothered by my suggestion , but we find that as time has passed we have learned that we are far from perfect .

When we are aware of faults in our personalities , we endeavour to improve ourselves . Isn't this a natural instinct ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I had some great advice once. When you see someone odd in the street, bad hair, weird clothes etc, how long do you think about them? Probably about 10 seconds.

So when you're worried about how you look, and think it's a problem, just remember that no one else really gives a shit.

It's quite a refreshing viewpoint.

I hate all my photos, but others seem to like them. I basically gave up worrying about it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm pretty sure that what others see, particularly on here, and how I view myself are very different.

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"I am always slightly surprised by messages and comments I get about my body since I live with the reality of it being an ongoing work in progress, plus I get to see all the discarded pics that didn't make it. It's interesting how and why perceptions vary. I'm pretty secure on the whole but I think if I ever uploaded a public face pic and people preferred my arse I might feel differently..."

That was another one that suprised me, I used to have a full face pic public and it got thousands of fabs within days, I was as shocked as Fook, I've never seen myself as good looking so when it was the pic that good hundreds more fabs than any other I have ever put up and loads quicker it genuinely took me by surprise

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By *ilthyjackcoupleCouple
over a year ago

Swansea

"I'm pretty sure that what others see, particularly on here, and how I view myself are very different. "

^^^^ That absolutely. BUT I'm trying to keep in mind something that I read the other day - 'What others think of you is none of your damn business. '

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"Just a little observation I have had a few times and because I'm bored I though I'd share it with you all

Do you think other people view you the way you view yourself?

Maybe it's just me

Of course not.

Just as your voice sounds different in your head to the way it does when you hear a recording of it, what you see in the mirror is not the same as what other people see.

Reality as you think you know it isn't real.

Oh the voice thing is so true, my daugher did a recording of me Saturday and when I watched it I said....do I really sound like that

The question is who hears right you or them

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have this problem..... I think I'm amazing.... No one else does

Seriously though, i do sometimes wonder if people are actually seeing me or an idea of me.

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

Going by some of the things people say to me both online and in real life, no.

I am of course right and it's them who are mistaken/wrong.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think this site really distorts reality though too for some people. But that's a side discussion.

I think I would get more positive reviews from people I've met at socials etc, than my online persona on here. That would probably, maybe hopefully, match my self perception, within reason...

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

most people probably view me as scary and a complete headcase.. .hey ten outa ten. .but seriously it's just my dark sense of humour probably don't come across well in the typed word maybe. ..

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By *inky-MinxWoman
over a year ago

Grantham

"I learned many years ago , not to care a damn what others think of me...

Is that not seen as somewhat arrogant ?

I know you won't be in the slightest bit bothered by my suggestion , but we find that as time has passed we have learned that we are far from perfect .

When we are aware of faults in our personalities , we endeavour to improve ourselves . Isn't this a natural instinct ?

If you're doing it for yourself but not if you're doing it just because you're worried about what other people think. That's what I think

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a little observation I have had a few times and because I'm bored I though I'd share it with you all

Do you think other people view you the way you view yourself?

Maybe it's just me

I agree completely. I had two photos. One I preferred one a male friend preferred. We made a bet and the photo he liked won by a long shot and I thought it was terrible

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"most people probably view me as scary and a complete headcase.. .hey ten outa ten. .but seriously it's just my dark sense of humour probably don't come across well in the typed word maybe. .."

i'm with you on that, i have a very sarcastic sense of humour i seem to offend a lot of people on here because i don't really take anything serious and i have a habit of just typing the first thing that comes into my head, not always a good idea on here, some people can't take a joke and i seem to be blocked by everybody

The problem is there's no emotion in font, if your talking to somebody face to face and you make a joke they can tell by your face, tone of voice and body language your being light hearted where as when reading it you loose that and things can be taken the wrong way and judging by some of the mail i get off here from my posts in my case it happens often, i never mean to offend anybody though, ever, it just seems to be a natural talent of mine

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By *lla_maiWoman
over a year ago

staffordshire

I think everyone has their own perceptions on things, how I view myself is very different from how others see me (so ive been told)

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have no real idea how I'm perceived on here although I do think I come across better in reality.

I do remember describing myself to someone as patient & my other friend saying that was one word she wouldn't use to describe me, that was rather enlightening.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If you mean how we are perceived on fab, then I would have to say that I'm not really sure how I'm perceived so it would be hard to know if other people see me the way I see myself.

I get the impression that there are some people who get me, and some people who don't. I guess that is fairly standard, though. There are a few people I've spoken with in person who I think see me the way I see myself, but I can't be sure because I haven't asked.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Everyone sees everyone else differently

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've just had a nosey at your photo's and fabbed a few I like. I think it's what others see and possibly imagine when looking at people pics. I fabbed your 2nd pic (mouth slightly open) because to me it looks sexy and hot. It teases a little which I like.
"Just a little observation I have had a few times and because I'm bored I though I'd share it with you all

Do you think other people view you the way you view yourself?

Maybe it's just me

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By *c-ukMan
over a year ago

Sevenoaks

I know in general people tend to self deprecate.. Well unless your ego is as big as a house, of course!!! But I don't like to ponder too long looking at myself introspectively.. Being an average looking guy, being totally invisible and being alone all just totally suck..

I wonder if women have any idea how lucky they are to feel desired, emailed and noticed.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I know in general people tend to self deprecate.. Well unless your ego is as big as a house, of course!!! But I don't like to ponder too long looking at myself introspectively.. Being an average looking guy, being totally invisible and being alone all just totally suck..

I wonder if women have any idea how lucky they are to feel desired, emailed and noticed.

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By *obyn GravesTV/TS
over a year ago

1127 walnut avenue

"most people probably view me as scary and a complete headcase.. .hey ten outa ten. .but seriously it's just my dark sense of humour probably don't come across well in the typed word maybe. ..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Judging by the message I just recieved I am certain that some people don't see me as I see myself

We quite often get messages from men saying how much they love BBW and I don't see myself that way."

You're having a laugh! You...BBW?? You're slim and look great.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'm surprised any of my pics get fabbed at all but I agree ones that I think will do ok don't and ones I'm not sure why I put them on do well.....strange world

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Just a little observation I have had a few times and because I'm bored I though I'd share it with you all

Do you think other people view you the way you view yourself?

Maybe it's just me

people are always their own worst critics. You should try being an artist you always hate your work.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

I wonder if women have any idea how lucky they are to feel desired, emailed and noticed.

I wonder if very attractive women know how lucky they are, probably not because they are used to it.

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By *ed wineMan
over a year ago

Where the streets have no name

Attractiveness perception is different in terms of gender. On average, males tend to be attracted to more physical features and women to social status signals. Also, men tend to overvalue our skills and women instead, underestimate your self-perception. Take this as an average fact, despite of individual preferences.

As I told you in a message a few days ago, you look very attractive and charm, enough to be proud of yourself ; )

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

We see ourselves as 2 people, we know we aren't model material, just the usual couple next door kinda thing.

Our outlook is... loved by some, and hated by others, we are who we are and that cannot be changed.

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"I learned many years ago , not to care a damn what others think of me...

Is that not seen as somewhat arrogant ?

I know you won't be in the slightest bit bothered by my suggestion , but we find that as time has passed we have learned that we are far from perfect .

When we are aware of faults in our personalities , we endeavour to improve ourselves . Isn't this a natural instinct ?

Not caring what other people think isn't being arrogant just means you like yourself enough not to care.

Doesn't mean you aren't aware of your faults, just means you except them as nobody is perfect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Apparently I'm much prettier than I give myself credit for.

I think people are probably nicer about me than I am myself

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