FabSwingers.com forum: Relationships

By *ornyone30 OP Man
over a year ago

ABERDEEN

Looking for opinions, if one half of a couple no longer wants a sexual relationship (male or female) is it fair for them to expect their partner to do the same? And if not what's the best solution?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

maybe, so long as they still love you and are willing to work on what is making their sex drive low/gone.

if it's for manipulation purposes that they won't have sex, and you're not happy with that, then no it's not fair.

depends why they're doing it and if you can sort it out and are willing to.

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By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

"Looking for opinions, if one half of a couple no longer wants a sexual relationship (male or female) is it fair for them to expect their partner to do the same? And if not what's the best solution? "

Split up.

Unless they other half is happy for you to get it elsewhere.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe, so long as they still love you and are willing to work on what is making their sex drive low/gone.

if it's for manipulation purposes that they won't have sex, and you're not happy with that, then no it's not fair.

depends why they're doing it and if you can sort it out and are willing to."

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By *iforfun999Man
over a year ago

Haverfordwest

This decision is more likely to have been reached after a lot of thought and consideration over a long period of time. So, discussing the situation together and completely is the only way to go, as far as I'm concerned. He/she would already have thought through whether they are likely to be hurt or accepting of a partner who continues to have sex elsewhere or whether they prefer to both stop together.

Only when everything has been discussed will you know what is possible or not possible. After that, it's a topic which should not be brought up on a regular basis and just to let life go on as normal. Maybe the sex will return together, maybe it won't. Either way, don't let it become a big issue, because life together is far more than the sex together.

That's my outlook on life, anyway.

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By *ensual temptressWoman
over a year ago

Southampton

My first question to them would be WHY do they no longer want a sexual relationship . If its because they can't stand the sight of me ..then yep relationship ends .If it was more a emotional or medical issue then why wouldn't you be at least trying to work that out ,if it's possible ?

But only the couple know all the shades of grey behind it and only they can decide what is right for the both of them .

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking for opinions, if one half of a couple no longer wants a sexual relationship (male or female) is it fair for them to expect their partner to do the same? And if not what's the best solution?

Split up.

Unless they other half is happy for you to get it elsewhere. "

And if there are children involved? Why is sexual fidelity placed so far above every other aspect of a relationship?

Why is it ok to refuse sex but not ok for the one who is refused to seek comfort elsewhere? Surely, the partner refusing sex has, by refusing, reduced its importance by their own actions?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"maybe, so long as they still love you and are willing to work on what is making their sex drive low/gone.

if it's for manipulation purposes that they won't have sex, and you're not happy with that, then no it's not fair.

depends why they're doing it and if you can sort it out and are willing to."

This.

And OP, you've been on here over a year with this profile so I guess your mind is already made up?

You either want to stay in the relationship or you don't. Or stay and cheat. Or stay and try and work things out.

I don't think anyone can tell you what to do.

I didn't have sex for a long time (couple of years+ maybe?) with my husband. There were reasons why. We still argued about it.

He found it really difficult. I found the situation very difficult too. As far as I know he never cheated. He said he was really tempted more than once, but understood why we weren't having sex and he said he would have felt a bastard cheating on me when I was going through what I was going through.

We worked it out.

That's mainly why I'm on here. It got our sex life back again.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally couldn't live in a sex less relationship. Been there done that and made me very very depressed. Equally I couldn't cheat so split up for me us the only option

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I personally believe a healthy sex life if a big factor in a happy marriage / relationship and id be worried if that stopped, but yes do some digging into why it's stopped

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Looking for opinions, if one half of a couple no longer wants a sexual relationship (male or female) is it fair for them to expect their partner to do the same? And if not what's the best solution?

Split up.

Unless they other half is happy for you to get it elsewhere.

And if there are children involved? Why is sexual fidelity placed so far above every other aspect of a relationship?

Why is it ok to refuse sex but not ok for the one who is refused to seek comfort elsewhere? Surely, the partner refusing sex has, by refusing, reduced its importance by their own actions? "

most people are monogamous, or enter a relationship expecting it to be.

being sexually fulfilled elsewhere works for some couples, others it doesn't, and people usually know which type of relationship they're agreeing going into (excluding ones with liars).

i went off sex after i had my 4th kid, was way too tired to prioritise it, my ex was great about it though and was willing to go without. he understood i still loved him, fancied him, but was too tired so he was ok going without for a while, tbh it wasn't that long of periods but it wasn't every day like we used to. no way would i have been happy in that circumstance if he had done anything to take time away from our family and from being my support at a time when i was already under a lot of pressure. for a fuck with some random, no way, it would have ended the relationship. being selfish was not the priority for either of us, we had kids to deal with and look after.

as it happened he eventually did go looking for someone else but i don't blame him, by that time he stopped supporting me, i couldn't give a shit about being with him because without that support he was nothing to me any more. we definitely weren't a family so i didn;t see the point in staying with him or being with him. out of respect for him i didn't go looking for anyone else though, only he did that. so sometimes cheating is ok, not very respectful to your partner but then again if they don't respect you you can't force them to. he should've left though before he did that because i knew what he was up to.

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By *obluvs2playMan
over a year ago

redcar

"Looking for opinions, if one half of a couple no longer wants a sexual relationship (male or female) is it fair for them to expect their partner to do the same? And if not what's the best solution?

Split up.

Unless they other half is happy for you to get it elsewhere.

And if there are children involved? Why is sexual fidelity placed so far above every other aspect of a relationship?

Why is it ok to refuse sex but not ok for the one who is refused to seek comfort elsewhere? Surely, the partner refusing sex has, by refusing, reduced its importance by their own actions? "

Completely agree with what yo just said, if the one being refused wants a sexual relashionship they why not look else where, that being said sex is only one part of a relationship most people out there kids above any other type of relashionship

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By *obluvs2playMan
over a year ago

redcar

"Looking for opinions, if one half of a couple no longer wants a sexual relationship (male or female) is it fair for them to expect their partner to do the same? And if not what's the best solution?

Split up.

Unless they other half is happy for you to get it elsewhere.

And if there are children involved? Why is sexual fidelity placed so far above every other aspect of a relationship?

Why is it ok to refuse sex but not ok for the one who is refused to seek comfort elsewhere? Surely, the partner refusing sex has, by refusing, reduced its importance by their own actions?

Clearly didn't read that over before posting

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

No it isn't fair to expect someone to suddenly change their expectations of a relationship but it happens all the time and not just regarding sex. There is only one way to reach a resolution and that is by open communication between the people involved possibly involving a relationship counsellor but human beings are notorious for not being able to do that especially where sex is concerned.

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