FabSwingers.com forum: Slave training

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I have a new slave that I'm struggling to find time for as he needs more experience

If there is anyone in the midlands area that fancies training him for me (cpls or singles) then let me know

You can have him dressed in fem mids if required

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WIth the greatest respect, I wanted to reply to this....

As a slave myself, I'd not take well to someone else training me, it would make me doubt my place....

My Master often has days were its hard for him to find time but I just get set tasks for those days...it gives me great satisfaction to show that I have done them...

I do know my MAster would never entrust my training to someone else.... its to important... and every dominant wants a slave to respond differently. So I would imagine that would cause possible confusions for the slave.

Like for me, I know when I may voice an issue, and when to accept something and just do. How ever another master may find my ways rather willful, but that is just how master likes me... I'm always obedient and respectful... but will give sassy remarks from time to time... but at the right time, its fine.

I can understand not having the time, but I'd ask you to consider that maybe it wouldn't be in yours or your slaves best interest.

Or Maybe you may find it helps him to be socially involved with other slaves, as I found that helped me a lot..

For instance when I messed up I was punishing myself emotionally a lot.. but I learned from another slave, that it doesnt matter what I think about if I should be punished, it is what My Master thinks that matters.. if Master says its over and done, then I am not to carry on feeling bad over it.

The things I have learnt that have helped me with my training from other more experienced slaves has been invaluable..

Just my views of course..

Katie. X

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By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

Katie I'm happy for him to be involved with other slaves but we have spoke about this alot and we are both ready for him to be loaned out x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Katie I'm happy for him to be involved with other slaves but we have spoke about this alot and we are both ready for him to be loaned out x"
he must really love you lol most would never let them out to play , lol xx

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I dont know how much of a good slave I would make im tooset in my ways I think and my mindset isnt right..Im more dom than I am sub....Or is the masters/mistress job to break the mindset?????

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Katie I'm happy for him to be involved with other slaves but we have spoke about this alot and we are both ready for him to be loaned out x he must really love you lol most would never let them out to play , lol xx

Sexually I am allowed a lot of play time.. but if I was sent out for training I would feel punished.. Master and I have already discussed this.. and I know that Master feels the same..

It is good though in this case if they both feel it would benefit.

as to the poster asking about a master/mistress breaking the mindset..

I think you have to have the submissive side in their somewhere.. However, I am not submissive at all to other people.. I hate authority.. I despise being told what to do.. yet I submit totally and I do mean as in I dont even chose what I wear...

Most aspects of my life that can be controlled are, I will be punished if need be.. but with Master that is just how it is, and how it should be..

anyone else tried they would get the look and I would laugh.. ( unless of course Master had ordered me to do as they said.)

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

sorry to hijack and sorry to sound silly, but come someone give me an insight into the slave world? Im intrigued. Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"sorry to hijack and sorry to sound silly, but come someone give me an insight into the slave world? Im intrigued. Thanks"

I can give you it from my point of view, although its something that is very personal from one slave to the next.. and there is I believe a big difference from being submissive to being a slave..

I dont mind answering on here or in private.. My Master actually said I may reply to this.

katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

here or pm is fine, it just interests me as when i think of slave i think back in time and black slaves etc.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"here or pm is fine, it just interests me as when i think of slave i think back in time and black slaves etc."

VERY LONG POST.

When I started to learn about this lifestyle I was very uneducated.. I laughed at the thought that someone could tell me what to do, then realised that I had already been doing that with my Master anyway ( Master was at the time not my Master.. but we were involved romantically)

So I learned, and I read.. and found that I wanted to give myself to my Master in that way...

Can I please add that in writing this I mostly use the term Master.. that is because I am writing from my personal view, and I do not have, nor have I ever had a Mistress...

Some people are naturally submissive, I am not one of them people.. however, I have now totally given myself and my control to my Master.. I am told what I may where, I get sent to bed, I have protacols that I must follow.. There are ways I have to refer to my Master.. ( its not always Master, but in front of others then it always is)

Its not a play act I dont think i'm being a slave.. and I can only talk about it from someone that lives and breathes this life all the time.. I know some that do it just for play times.. but for me that would not work.

I serve, and to serve gives me pleasure.. but my pleasure is secondary to pleasing my Master.. I am owned, collared and the fact we are in whats called a Total power exchange relationship, actually means I have given up my right to leave, this relationship would only end if I was no longer any good for my Master, or I did something unthinkable..( cheating is about the only thing that would cause that I believe)

I am very loved though, protected and have found that in becoming my Masters slave I have filled a gap in my life that I didnt even realise was there..I love to get my Masters praise.. I love to know I have done well..I do enjoy the other side too.. the bdsm side.. the rougher stuff.. That side of things is for us a very big part.. and a part where our love and respect and trust in one another really shows... I dont really want to go into depth as that side would always be personal choices between a Master and a slave... but it is a side we totally love.. and do not share with others at all..

For me a life as a slave is about giving myself totally to my Master.. Master can make me do anything that he desires.. Now that does lead to some slaves being abused... which is why I think to many people end up jumping in..and not really thinking about it...

It is really hard to explain what it would be like to someone else.. as its such a personal thing.. I know by many slaves standards I am a little spoilt.. but that is because My Master while he can be hard on me, doesnt like to be cruel.. I am punished..and yes that hurts, yes I am bruised.. but more so normally during fun play... as we will have prolonged plays in that sense.. Ie canes, spanks, slapping etc..

What I need to make clear though is the concept that a slave is owned, now not all slaves are.. they may desire it though.. but its a bit like owning anything.. I am my Masters property.. Yes, sometimes Masters I know do even sell, or pass on slaves.. I know as part of our contract as it were that that would not happen to me.. but if I was told that someone else would now own me.. I would have to accept that.. ( although to be honest I can honestly say I know I have no desire to serve another) Because of the control I give my Master, it means I have to trust him 110%.... And I did not give up my control all in one go, it was gradual...although still I am guessing quick by somes standards, but it was what was right for us.. and I actually approached my Master and asked if he thought I was ready to give up more control.. and what Master thought of TPE ( total power exchange ) relationships...

Its about trust, respect and giving yourself to your Master.. but in doing so, you get so much back.. The bond my Master and I share I would say is unbreakable.. I am My Masters, in all ways I can be.. My Body is My Masters to do with as Master desires.. If Master wanted me to bend over and be whipped till I could not stand, that would happen.. but that is why I say find a Dominant that you can trust.. your Hard limits should echo your Dominants.. That is important..

For me I certainly do not see myself as lesser than my Master.. Master is in charge, but my views are valid if given at the right time.. If its something I may ask or give an opinion on then I will... but its not always a good time.. there are times I know the only answer I should give is Yes Master, or I understand Master.. NO! is a word I must never give. I quite simply do not have the right to that word.. Nor do I any longer have a safe word... BUT!!!!! that was only recently surrendered at my request and something that needs a Master that really knows his slave well... I had to be fair never used my word... with Maser realising before I became overly distressed about something..

Was asked about what sort of things I do recently.. for instance.. if Master is here.. I always sit at Masters feet, unless told otherwise.. but thats with my head resting on Masters knee, and Master will stroke me.. or maybe pull my hair if we are being playful.. Master is treated as lord of his manor.. Food ready when it should be etc.. think of it almost as a very traditional old fashioned style marriage..

My clothes are picked out for me.. My days I always let Master know what is planned in advance.. visiting friends is always asked for, Internet use is asked for.. anything to do with kids or sorting house isnt... but Master likes to know what chores I have to complete..( helps if Master has plans for Slave tasks)

I dont have to ask for things like toilet or food.. ( but some do)

If Master is away then the same control is exerted.. I will send an email in the morning, saying what I have to do that day, chores, exercise, anything else that Master may need to know. Will normally at that point ask if I can go online to sort Messages etc... If something comes up in the day I will ask again.. I also do now need to ask if I want to play with myself.. if I am told no.. then thats it... I am rarely told no on that, but its something that is possible.

On top of running my own business, house, keeping tabs on here.. sometimes mentoring other slaves, other sites, kids, and adhering to the rules, some days I get tasks too. They can be anything Master likes.. but normally they are to train me and develop me.. sometimes its about obedience, sometimes confidence.. sometimes for Masters amusement.. sometimes they are quite obviously just for my pleasure.. ( normally a treat) but I have to plan for them, write about them both planning, after and then reflect upon what I learnt..

I also keep a journal that only Master and I can see.. and I put everything in there.. even when something has upset me, or made me angry.. Oh... that is one thing.. ANGER is not permitted to be shown towards my Master.. it is one thing that would have me punished so hard it scares me just thinking about it.. no no no.. so my temper has long learnt to be kept in check.. ( another worthy thing) Disrespect is the other big no, along with insolence..( which I occasionally do without thinking) which is why thinking before you open your mouth is a good thing..

For me being a slave is not about being broken, about having things taken away.. its about what I now give, and get in return..(although that is not a right, but my Master likes too)

Since becoming my Masters slave, I have become a better parent, I am more organised, Have come down from a size 24/26 to a 18/20 ( actually wearing a tailored size 18 today so nearer the 18) I have a way in which at all times I am expected to present myself... and that is as a well brought up Lady.. ( well okay there are times that is not needed but we are talking out in general public) I am not permitted to swear.. at all.. thats benefited me greatly. I have a bed time.. although I am permitted to ask if I want to stay up. ( these are for Nights Master is away with work) Even posting on here... I have to be allowed on.. and if its something that may cause questions.. I am to ask first, and let Master see what I am putting.. Mostly as my behaviour directly reflects..... however the biggest change is I respect myself.. I didnt.. after years of mental abuse and some physical from men in my life.. I hadnt even noticed the destructive behaviour I was portraying.. Master did.. and helped me.. and helped me get beyond that...

A good Master will want a slave to become the best they can... and a good Slave will strive to be the very best that they can, to make their Master Proud of them.. and to serve.

For me.. its made me a better person and I would hope to be Masters slave till the day I die... and even if Master happened to leave this world before me... I would still in my heart and soul be my Masters... as its gone beyond emotional, or physical, but it has become my way of being..

I get people that think I have lost my marbles.. but it is so hard to explain.. even writing this.. its been hard to explain the deep immense satisfaction that knowing my Master Needs me, that I please him, that I am so loved... some of the stuff that we share, I could never have imagined.. but its opened my mind, my heart and my soul and I now feel totally fulfilled..

Most people always see the other side, the punishments.. and yes.. I am punished if needed.. it can be in a variety of ways.. but that for us at least is not the be all and end all of our Master/slave relationship..

Being owned is just right for me.. but there are many levels of submission.. from just submitting sexually, to full total submission like mine..

There are some slaves that do believe that they are worthless... that they are nothing.. but that is not something that my Master believes in... Master wants me to be confident and aspire to be the very best.. if I was downtrodden I would not respond as well..

I hate to use this sort of thoughts but its the best way I could think to explain why I think this works...

You can beat a dog into behaving, into doing as its told.. it does it out of fear.. but that same dog would try twice as hard, and do the task twice as well, if that dog did it for love and affection and attention.. same principle I guess with being a Slave.. but there are some Masters out there that dont do love, dont do affection and its all about the fear and humiliation... Yet even in saying that.. I talk to some slaves within that..and they are happy.. so who am I to judge.

but being so controlled has actually made me more free...I just feel less burdened because I know my place and I know my place within our relationship, I know I am the Alpha slave, the main female.. and that no one can take that away from me.. I have a confidence that just glows.. and I am proud.. very proud to be my Masters slave.. I wear my now permanent collar with pride... and it never ever leaves my neck... its locked on... and anyone that asks is told.... because I am proud. I have not been my Masters slave long, but its been the most amazing journey of self discovery I have ever been on.. and its no where near over yet.. there are always new limits to find, new boundaries to be pushed.. safe and content with a Man that not only loves me so completely that Master would claim me as his ONLY ever collared slave.. but with someone that knows me so well, sometimes words are not needed... we can explore realms that before we were together we both thought were doomed to stay in fantasy.. now because of how strong we are together we can take this journey together.

This is just one slaves view, and I thank my Master for allowing me to open up like this.. I have kept our personal bits to a minimum, because some may find it disturbing and we live in a country where consent, does not make it right in the eyes of the law.. so I am always careful..

Its a very personal journey... and one which if your really curious you must explore by yourself.. dont be afraid to ask questions as the one thing I have found is that everyone I have spoken to within the BDSM lifestyle will answer you as honestly as they can... there way may not be right for you, but you ask and you talk..and when you find someone you make sure that communication is the biggest tool you use... as with that you can make something good, GREAT!

Katie, with her Masters consent.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sexually I am allowed a lot of play time.. but if I was sent out for training I would feel punished.. Master and I have already discussed this.. and I know that Master feels the same..

It is good though in this case if they both feel it would benefit.

as to the poster asking about a master/mistress breaking the mindset..

Most aspects of my life that can be controlled are, I will be punished if need be.. but with Master that is just how it is, and how it should be..

anyone else tried they would get the look and I would laugh.. ( unless of course Master had ordered me to do as they said.)

Katie. x"

Can't help feeling though, from your posts, Katie, that yours is based on love. This is not always the case.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

is it just the sexual side or every aspect of your or a slaves relationship?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

and do slaves "have to" be abused?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and do slaves "have to" be abused?"

I've had one Misstress/slave relationship, and there wasn't any abuse involved: it wasn't necessary for us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"and do slaves "have to" be abused?"

I'm never abused...

AND to answer the other two as on phone.

Mine is indeed servitude based on love, but It's also very easy for that to be taken advantage of.

MAny serve to get just the pain side too.

And yes, its every aspect of my life... day and night, every day.

Katie x

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By *inky24big35Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

im still yet to find a slave

lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"here or pm is fine, it just interests me as when i think of slave i think back in time and black slaves etc.

VERY LONG POST.

So I learned, and I read.. and found that I wanted to give myself to my Master in that way...

Can I please add that in writing this I mostly use the term Master.. that is because I am writing from my personal view, and I do not have, nor have I ever had a Mistress...

I dont have to ask for things like toilet or food.. ( but some do)

For me being a slave is not about being broken, about having things taken away.. its about what I now give, and get in return..(although that is not a right, but my Master likes too)

A good Master will want a slave to become the best they can... and a good Slave will strive to be the very best that they can, to make their Master Proud of them.. and to serve.

Being owned is just right for me.. but there are many levels of submission.. from just submitting sexually, to full total submission like mine..

I hate to use this sort of thoughts but its the best way I could think to explain why I think this works...

Katie, with her Masters consent.

"
thanku katie,wot a beautifull insite to yr world! love,respect,honesty,trust,THE TRUTH!! i 2 always wondered! so just want 2 thanku 4 yr message 2 the un uneducated!! (me)..appreciate yr post!! thanks 4 that..an enjoyable read!! Bambi x x

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By *he Usual SuspectMan
over a year ago

Mexborough

"here or pm is fine, it just interests me as when i think of slave i think back in time and black slaves etc.

VERY LONG POST.

So I learned, and I read.. and found that I wanted to give myself to my Master in that way...

Can I please add that in writing this I mostly use the term Master.. that is because I am writing from my personal view, and I do not have, nor have I ever had a Mistress...

I dont have to ask for things like toilet or food.. ( but some do)

For me being a slave is not about being broken, about having things taken away.. its about what I now give, and get in return..(although that is not a right, but my Master likes too)

A good Master will want a slave to become the best they can... and a good Slave will strive to be the very best that they can, to make their Master Proud of them.. and to serve.

Being owned is just right for me.. but there are many levels of submission.. from just submitting sexually, to full total submission like mine..

I hate to use this sort of thoughts but its the best way I could think to explain why I think this works...

Katie, with her Masters consent.

thanku katie,wot a beautifull insite to yr world! love,respect,honesty,trust,THE TRUTH!! i 2 always wondered! so just want 2 thanku 4 yr message 2 the un uneducated!! (me)..appreciate yr post!! thanks 4 that..an enjoyable read!! Bambi x x"

I would agree with Bambi, an educating read, well thought out, well presented truthful and very interesting.......

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Thank you.. it was not quite as rationalised as I would have liked.. but its hard to explain some things..

but remember this is just my personal out look..

And MistressClaire, sorry for your thread getting hijacked..

Katie, with her Masters consent. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Something we are looking into. Finding the right folk Hmmm is hard

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By *inky24big35Couple
over a year ago

blackpool

"Something we are looking into. Finding the right folk Hmmm is hard

snap x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something we are looking into. Finding the right folk Hmmm is hard

it is hard.. and there are a lot of people that are not trustworthy..

I speak with a few girls that have had lucky escapes... I tend to take the younger girls under my wing as it scares me... but they mostly dont listen..and have to learn the hard way... It pains me when they get messed up..

Like with most things these days.. people rush in.. I knew a girl that within 3 days had been owned and collared by two different Masters.. Velcro collars I found that was known as..

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

well that was educational for me, i really had no idea.

For me though i think in my mind wouldnt you feel like a child again, getting told what to do and getting your clothes picked out? A bed time? It seems to me as if the master is power happy and wants to make the woman know her place and gets kicks from it?

I suppose it sounds strange for me because i have never actually thought about the master/slave thing.

However please dont take this as my having a dig or trying to cause trouble, these are just my views.

Thanks

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 09/03/11 08:46:54]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That has been the most interesting and most informative post i have read on these forums. I personally have been involved in mild master\slave relationships but these have been purely in a sexual way and not in a lifestyle as is yours. Its is amazing the lives that other people live and I applaud you for having the courage to follow your desires.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Something we are looking into. Finding the right folk Hmmm is hard

it is hard.. and there are a lot of people that are not trustworthy..

Like with most things these days.. people rush in.. I knew a girl that within 3 days had been owned and collared by two different Masters.. Velcro collars I found that was known as..

Katie. x"

I have never really understood these kind of relationships, i do respect other peoples choices but i dont understand them, i dont understand why someone would want to 'own' someone or why someone would want to be 'owned' i just see 'masters' as control freaks that use this life style to be bullies and hide behind it

As im sure ive mentioned before i had a very good friend that was in one of these kind of master/slave relationshiops and im sorry but he was nothing short of a evil bastard, he controled every part of her life, she wasnt allowed to eat unless he let her and some times he'd make her got a day or two without anything, she couldnt go to the loo unless he allowed her to and he took great joy in seeing her uncomfy cause she'd held it so long, she couldnt leave the house unless she was with him, and he beat her terribly, she was always covered in cuts and bruses but he'd be telling her she liked it, while he was doing these terrible things to her he'd be saying things like but this is what you like this is what pleasing your master is all about etc he'd even make her do things in front of other that would make me cringe and he'd be saying oh its ok shes into this kind of thing when you could see quite clearly she was just scared of him

Id go round to the house when he wasnt in and she'd be in tears but to scared to leave him, you know to me it was nothing short of domestic abouse and i dont care what labels put on it

And i wonder how many other men use this type of life style to hide they are just abusive, control freaks

Every time i read subjects on this type of thing i think of her and i just cant get that image out my head

She did manage to get away from his tho as he was arrested and sent to jail for raping a women he had been talking to in a night club, i think that just abotu says it all

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

THere are a lot of people that hide abuse and label it bdsm.

But there are also a lot that truly love being how they are...domestic abuse is never acceptable... I consent totally to all and everything we do...

DIfference for me is a hand is never ever raised to me in anger.... and if master is annoyed even with someone else we don't play rough.

It's about control... for me I enjoy the rough play... infact I beg for more than I get, because master does not think I could emotionally handle what I'm asking for... so I accept and learn at a pace set by my Master.

WHat you have to remember is there are plenty of abusive husbands out there, not just within bdsm.

KATie x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"well that was educational for me, i really had no idea.

I suppose it sounds strange for me because i have never actually thought about the master/slave thing.

However please dont take this as my having a dig or trying to cause trouble, these are just my views.

Thanks"

I was on my phone earlier so couldnt quite reply how I wanted.. I dont take it as a dig, its asking questions, questions are how we learn..

I am not going to for one minute say EVERY Master/slave Dom/sub relationship is like ours..

In many ways I am dependant on my Master as a child would be their parent.. but I am also I guess loved in a similar way.. so in some ways for me that is better.

Do I feel like a child.. not really.. although sometimes I think I do play up like one.. have moments where I will pull faces over something.. because thats as far as I can object.

TO be fair.. my clothes for the day are picked from 3 sets of clothes I pick myself.. And if I am really honest. I can almost always pre guess which ones Master will pick.. as I may put something that I know Master loves to see me in, or Masters favorite colour..

I am not micro managed as some slaves are, but I find the control nice.... I am not unfairly treated.. most of the time, no reasonable request will be refused.

I get to go out with my friends and thats actively encouraged, something that is completely different to my now ex husband, who would not let me go.. who would make me feel bad for wanting to leave the house etc.

I never leave the house without my makeup, or being well turned out. I always do my exercise because its a task.. most of the control is done for my benefit.

I mentioned on the sex addict post that before I was with my Master I was out of control..and putting myself in serious harms way.. both physically and emotionally.. that does not happen now..

Yes.. as has been asked.. there are times that I wont have friends over because we have played rough, and I may have a few marks here and there.. but its only consential.. we are careful though, as Master can get into trouble, even if I grabbed his hand and did it myself.. because of the way the law works.

Its my choice, I was not forced in anyway ever.. I chose to give up the control I have.. and giving up total control was the most amazing feeling.... I guess to some they see it as me having gone back a few decades for womens lib..

My husband/Master has total rights to my body, I am Masters to dress, use, and do as Master likes. I will obey, I will do exactly as I am asked, even if its something I would rather not do.

I never have the right to say no...

But the thing here is... My hard limits are never gone past, because they are things that would destroy me ( for me that is mostly things such as none white men, animals, watersports etc) but Master wouldnt want to do those anyway.. a smart slave Matches his/her hard limits to that of her Master.. you talk alot.. you make sure you have the same values... and the trust is built.. and earnt on both sides..

A Master has to trust too... as even playful marks could be used against them.

Just those that are considering it, read, ask questions, read some more.. communicate lots with people you may consider playing with.. or being with.. ask more questions.. and DONT commit yourself till your sure.. Dont be forced into anything ( and I know that happens)

If new, find a submissive/slave local that can talk to you, or mentor you.. They should know what warning signs to look out for ..and listen to them.. while each relationship is different... there are some things that remain the same..

But be honest with your self what your looking for.. and I don think that anyone should think that they ahve to jump straight in and get hard punishments..

However, the feeling of satisfaction that I get from submitting so totally and freely is one I can not even begin to explain..

It would be nice as this thread has been hijacked if maybe some of the dominant ladies could give some feedback... as I dont know if its different for Male slaves.. but the ones I know.. worship their mistresses.... they love to please them by giving themselves over to their control..

Thanks and sorry for yet another long post..and Thank you Master for allowing me to share some of my more private thoughts.

Katie. x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Male slaves are exactly the same Katie- everything you have posted works both ways- my only difference is that mine go home eventually

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By *eighleedsMan
over a year ago

leeds

i woukld suggest anyone new to this sort of lifestyle looks up a book called 'Spare the roses, send me the thorns' cannot remember teh authors but you can get it from amazon

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

iv always wanted to try being a slave there is something about being dominated that realy turns me on

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By *emima_puddlefuckCouple
over a year ago

hexham

"iv always wanted to try being a slave there is something about being dominated that realy turns me on"

being a slave is the final step in a long journey...and you can be dominated in many different ways...

If you want to submit,for an hour, a week a lifetime,have fun finding out what is for you

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