FabSwingers.com forum: swinging clubs.... the mindset of people

By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

having a convo in another thread.. and we were talking about etiquette

so you guys were sitting in a corner and i, just being a friendly chappie, came over and said "hello!" (nothing more)

would you think there was an alterior motive?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not in the slightest but then I've worked as a door steward for 30 years and every weirdo under the sun says hello to us

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Depends if I was eating cake.I might think you are after my cake.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

We'd be disappointed if their wasn't! For us the flirting and chatting can be great fun, but ultimately we want people to have an ulterior motive so we can have some fun

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By *reenleavesCouple
over a year ago

North Wales

It would depend on the time of evening really.

Early on - probably just being friendly.

Later on - probably looking to not be left on the shelf.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Yes because assuming there isn't and just being friendly back leads to misunderstanding and accusations.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I would hope there would be an ulterior motive if a single guy approached me at a club

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By *ady LickWoman
over a year ago

Northampton Somewhere

Not at all but I would assume you liked the look of me to come over. I'd have a nice chat and if we liked each other.....woohoooooo

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By *andtsurreyCouple
over a year ago

Torbay

No not at all... a hello is just that. It makes me sad that people won't even make eye contact walking round clubs. They seem to think even looking at people means they want to jump on you.

Isn't it nice just to be chatty and if anything develops it's a bonus? Odd people about sadly

T xx

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By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"No not at all... a hello is just that. It makes me sad that people won't even make eye contact walking round clubs. They seem to think even looking at people means they want to jump on you.

Isn't it nice just to be chatty and if anything develops it's a bonus? Odd people about sadly

T xx "

see this way my point..... in a way it annoys and flatters me at the same time where people say "oh i wouldn't have talked to you because you looked intimidating, but in fact you are a sweetheart" because they in effect prejudged the encounter....

or at a social when people say "oh i didn't think you'd be like this" from reading what i write online.....

I know.... scary Fab!!!! who knew!!!

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By *ENDAROOSCouple
over a year ago

South West London / Surrey

"having a convo in another thread.. and we were talking about etiquette

so you guys were sitting in a corner and i, just being a friendly chappie, came over and said "hello!" (nothing more)

would you think there was an alterior motive?"

No.

We'll smile/talk to anyone at parties, doesn't mean we want to get in their pants.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No as we do this quite often in fact I've lost jay a few times as he's gone off talking to people, to us the social aspect is probably more important than the playing aspect weird I know but if play happens it's a bonus if not we've made new friends and there's always next time

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Not in the slightest but then I've worked as a door steward for 30 years and every weirdo under the sun says hello to us "
im sorry im probably one of them weirdos lol

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By *an_WoodMan
over a year ago

Stafford

Thankfully the vast majority of people in clubs are friendly and straightforward in my limited experience.

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

Having an ulterior motive doesn't mean you can't be friendly, warm and open. The challenge is going to Clubs and people are always too nervous to actually go and say hello. So what if someone wants to have a wild time with you, it can be good to know and it is really easy in a club just to say no thanks and move on. if people are only there to have a chat, fair enough, but that is also an ulterior motive if the other parties want more. For us Clubs are not social locations, we go to friends houses, restaurants and bars for socials. We will always gladly chat, but don't want to spend the evening discussing Brexit when we could be having way more fun...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not at all like OP said just friendly chap / couple but yes could lead to some fun but not a taken who knows

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nothing wrong with a polite 'hello' and starting a convo, I even leave Mrs Marmite sitting in the club whilst I go for a ciggie, she may be shy, but if people are not pushy and are genuinely just wanting a chat, then there's no problem with it at all.

It's the other sort that tend to annoy, after a polite 'no thanks' and they keep asking to go upstairs etc... show some respect and gain it back

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By *othcpluk1Couple
over a year ago

Sheffield

we will always talk to anyone but we don't play with just anyone.

stop by and have a chat you never know.

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By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

okay..... so does it make a difference if it is a single guy coming over to say hello... as opposed to a couple coming over.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I love to talk to people and sometimes hello is just hello

But then again I can talk for England xD

If we ever end up in the same club sometime OP ill come talk your ear off

V x

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By *ethnmelvCouple
over a year ago

Cardiff

"okay..... so does it make a difference if it is a single guy coming over to say hello... as opposed to a couple coming over....."

Not at all, we will assume everyone is nice, interesting and friendly unless they prove otherwise!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"okay..... so does it make a difference if it is a single guy coming over to say hello... as opposed to a couple coming over....."

We don't mind who comes chatting. If we click socially then there is every chance we will click sexually.

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By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"I love to talk to people and sometimes hello is just hello

But then again I can talk for England xD

If we ever end up in the same club sometime OP ill come talk your ear off

V x"

i am a social whore so i will gas to anyone at a club or at socials... but from what others have said in the other thread that people may prejudge the situations.....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"having a convo in another thread.. and we were talking about etiquette

so you guys were sitting in a corner and i, just being a friendly chappie, came over and said "hello!" (nothing more)

would you think there was an alterior motive?"

Not at all, I love to chat to people. And even if there was an ulterior motive, I would be too stupid to see it. I need it to be spelled out

A x

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By *xplorecpl25Couple
over a year ago

manchester

"No not at all... a hello is just that. It makes me sad that people won't even make eye contact walking round clubs. They seem to think even looking at people means they want to jump on you.

Isn't it nice just to be chatty and if anything develops it's a bonus? Odd people about sadly

T xx "

Not just odd people dont make eye contact! The first and only time i went to a club i had no clue,its like i forgot how to be human ha! Saying that, i bet us newbie clubbers can be spotted a mile off! Must go again sometime xx

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By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

Not at all, I love to chat to people. And even if there was an ulterior motive, I would be too stupid to see it. I need it to be spelled out

A x "

you are same as me where i dont pick up on signals unless they are flashing in bright neon lights....

i go over to people is blissful nieveity....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends if I was eating cake.I might think you are after my cake.

There's cake at Clubs?? Blimey I'm definitely going

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

From our point of view, we chat at clubs and parties with Ni ulterior motive because we rarely play, so if we do this, we would assume the same from others too. I wouldn't think someone wanted to play unless they directly asked .... but then its not really about the play for us, whereas it is for lots of other people.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Depends if I was eating cake.I might think you are after my cake.

There's cake at Clubs?? Blimey I'm definitely going

There was cake last time I went to Chameleons.

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By *awtynNiceCouple
over a year ago

…

Not at all, we often chat to loads of people in clubs that are just friends. The social aspect of the scene if very important to us. Have fun X

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By *ikeC81Man
over a year ago

harrow

Well I will speak to anyone and often do but I do have speak slightly different if up north

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends if I was eating cake.I might think you are after my cake.

There's cake at Clubs?? Blimey I'm definitely going

There was cake last time I went to Chameleons."

Really??

I'm a club virgin

Was there just plates of cake or naked people covered in cake

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"having a convo in another thread.. and we were talking about etiquette

so you guys were sitting in a corner and i, just being a friendly chappie, came over and said "hello!" (nothing more)

would you think there was an alterior motive?"

Not at all, we would say hi to anyone who took the time to speak to us, as far as thinking of an alterior motive......Trixie has an amazing gift for sussing people out within seconds of meeting them so I have no worries on that score lol

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By *icplshropsCouple
over a year ago

Rock

Available seats opposite us and would like to sit and chat, you're very welcome with no ulterior motive!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends if I was eating cake.I might think you are after my cake.

There's cake at Clubs?? Blimey I'm definitely going

There was cake last time I went to Chameleons.

Really??

I'm a club virgin

Was there just plates of cake or naked people covered in cake

Haha,I like the idea of naked people covered in cake

When chams has a buffet on their party nights little cakes are offered amongst other party snacks.

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By *reedy_for_funCouple
over a year ago

My House

"having a convo in another thread.. and we were talking about etiquette

so you guys were sitting in a corner and i, just being a friendly chappie, came over and said "hello!" (nothing more)

would you think there was an alterior motive?"

Tbh, we'd be grateful. Most men just stare and follow like sheep when at a club. Finding one that actually takes the time and effort to come and chat would be somewhat of a novelty

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes I would think there was an ulterior motive if anyone spoke to me at a club. 99% certain there would be.

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By *hoenixcouplexxCouple
over a year ago

Leicestershire

Good question. Hmm never really thought about it and the reason for that is we love to chat to everyone we can when we are out. Wether there is an ulterior motive or not, I don't think we really mind either way. We're there for fun and as long as people are polite and respectful we don't mind what their motive is to stop and have laugh and a chat with us.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One way around this is to locate yourself near the bar, people always drink

Then neither party has deliberately come over, taking away some of those worries.

Or just chat to people and don't overthink it, I often just chat to a fair few people on the forum socials. I actually think it's most difficult to read people you know already, rather than people you don't know.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Depends if I was eating cake.I might think you are after my cake.

Do they serve cake in clubs? Why didn't anybody tell me that before?

How about Caffè lattès?

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By *eendeeCouple
over a year ago

sheffield

Isn't approaching chatting etc all part and parcel of meeting new people cpls singles etc at socials and clubs? We don't mind at all if singles or cpls approach us ulterior motive or not so please approach away if we are ever at same club or party we will gladly chat and maybe if we get in and like you who knows what might happen

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By *cared and curiousCouple
over a year ago

Jarrow

Well having met you(op) in a club you know how we feel about it.

When were in a club most of our profile requests are put on a back burner so to speak. We are there to have fun and meet new people. That includes single guys. We do however dislike the usual flock of followers once play starts. You have 100 times more likely hood of play by chatting in the bar. So please guys come over chat, even if there is an hidden motive. Let's face it we are all there for a common like of the lifestyle.

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By *abio OP Man
over a year ago

Newcastle and Gateshead

"Well having met you(op) in a club you know how we feel about it.

thank you.... luffs you both!!!

i think i started this thread just to make sure we all were not jaded enough into believing that every word was use as motive to get into somebodies pants.... when a friendly greeting is just that....

i'll told to anyone about anything, and the fact that i could be construed as "that single guy who is just there to try it on" kinda horrified me....

so thanks to all for restoring my faith a litte.....

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