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"I have to agree with you, I'm afraid. Some women would like the compliment and take it in that fashion, but others... Not so much. It also depends on how you said it... For example, someone saying to a woman, "you have a lovely bottom. Can I touch it?" would be classed entirely different as simply saying "You have a lovely bottom," and moving on (which I believe is what you meant). " Good point, even "You have a great bum, you must workout a lot" is much better because it's complimenting the woman on her (possible) hard work rather than just part of her anatomy she doesn't have much control over. | |||
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"Rather than just messaging people with suggestions of meeting, and the like, I often message a lady I think is pretty, sexy, has a nice bottom etc, and just tell her... You know, "I think you have a really gorgeous bottom"...only if I do, indeed, believe that she has a nice bottom. In most cases, the ladies in question are flattered and appreciate the compliment, and that's where the message exchange ends...it's not for any other reason than to give a compliment. I walk a lot, too and from work, in London. Recently I've wondered what reaction I'd get, if in the "Real World", I simply said to a lady..."you have a really nice bottom"...as I just passed by...smiled and kept going. Something tells me it wouldn't be so positive lol "I don't like compliments on here or the real world. I know I'm perfect | |||
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"To be honest even on Fab, I may say thanks for a comment but most of the time I'm just thinking "You're sending out random compliments to everyone in a 20 mile radius in the hope of getting a fuck". So a lot of the time I don't reply to compliments. In the real world I don't have my boobs or bum out on show so I would rather people not comment on them. It would make me uncomfortable. No one ever comments on my face. No nice eyes, pretty smile or any of that crap. Which is just a bit depressing. (I don't want to be a butter...) I get the feeling if I removed my brain and put a paper bag over my face then guys would have much more fun just using my body. And that's not a particularly nice feeling. But it's part of Fab, and Fab has its upsides. "Having had the pleasure of seeing your picture, I think that you are very attractive and you shouldn't put yourself down. X  | |||
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"Having had the pleasure of seeing your picture, I think that you are very attractive and you shouldn't put yourself down. X "Aww thank you. I think I'm just having a bad day. I should probably go back to bed and start again.  | |||
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"I've seen a certain someone do this in real life, a simple sentence and not once have they got flack. Mostly it's a coy smile, blushing and a "thanks". However.." Hang on. It occurred to me that I suspect it makes a huge difference if the guy is attractive or not. | |||
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"Rather than just messaging people with suggestions of meeting, and the like, I often message a lady I think is pretty, sexy, has a nice bottom etc, and just tell her... You know, "I think you have a really gorgeous bottom"...only if I do, indeed, believe that she has a nice bottom. In most cases, the ladies in question are flattered and appreciate the compliment, and that's where the message exchange ends...it's not for any other reason than to give a compliment. I walk a lot, too and from work, in London. Recently I've wondered what reaction I'd get, if in the "Real World", I simply said to a lady..."you have a really nice bottom"...as I just passed by...smiled and kept going. Something tells me it wouldn't be so positive lol "Theoretically, depending on how you deliver it.. it should be fine. You would stand more chance of a nice chat with her than if you gave her the compliment on here..thats for sure. Lol | |||
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"You'd end up on a register. "You really wouldn't. It doesn't happen now because I'm old but as a young woman it was rare for me to go out and not have my body commented on by men at least once. I don't know if that still happens to young women but it was common then and happened to all my friends too. | |||
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"That's because when we register on here, we enter into an implicit social contract to receive unsolicited messages like that because we are on this site for the same objective of finding meets. A woman walking down the street has in no way given you consent to comment on her body, so, y'know... that's harassment. Lol. " ^ this | |||
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I was in no way suggesting asking if the bottom, or any other part for that matter, could be touched...that is WRONG!
An ex of mine was very tall and hated people commenting on how tall she was....some would see no harm in it, but it offended her.
It was a genuine question, as people often say things with the best of intentions, but they aren't received that way.
Also, I comment on smiles and eyes as much as nice body parts...it was just an example.
I also think it strange that most people would take "nice car", for example, as a nice compliment....but saying you think someone has beautiful eyes can be taken badly..sad in some ways.
Interesting debate though. | |||
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"To be VERY clear I was in no way suggesting asking if the bottom, or any other part for that matter, could be touched...that is WRONG!
An ex of mine was very tall and hated people commenting on how tall she was....some would see no harm in it, but it offended her.
It was a genuine question, as people often say things with the best of intentions, but they aren't received that way.
Also, I comment on smiles and eyes as much as nice body parts...it was just an example.
I also think it strange that most people would take "nice car", for example, as a nice compliment....but saying you think someone has beautiful eyes can be taken badly..sad in some ways.
Interesting debate though."Are you comparing women to cars that people buy? Women aren't objects for you to comment on. Lol. They've not grown those eyes/ smile for you to look at and comment on. They're just eyes. | |||
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"OK...to mix it up then... does it change at all, and this is just for the interest of debate, depending on the situation...? 1. Walking around the supermarket 2. in a night club whilst standing at the bar, or on the dance floor. " Again, the motivations with which people go to these two places are different. People go to bars to socialise, and often to meet people. People go to the supermarket to shop. | |||
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"OK...to mix it up then... does it change at all, and this is just for the interest of debate, depending on the situation...? 1. Walking around the supermarket 2. in a night club whilst standing at the bar, or on the dance floor. Again, the motivations with which people go to these two places are different. People go to bars to socialise, and often to meet people. People go to the supermarket to shop. "Oh I don't know... L has pulled in Asda before now | |||
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"To be VERY clear I was in no way suggesting asking if the bottom, or any other part for that matter, could be touched...that is WRONG!
An ex of mine was very tall and hated people commenting on how tall she was....some would see no harm in it, but it offended her.
It was a genuine question, as people often say things with the best of intentions, but they aren't received that way.
Also, I comment on smiles and eyes as much as nice body parts...it was just an example.
I also think it strange that most people would take "nice car", for example, as a nice compliment....but saying you think someone has beautiful eyes can be taken badly..sad in some ways.
Interesting debate though.
Are you comparing women to cars that people buy?
Women aren't objects for you to comment on. Lol.
They've not grown those eyes/ smile for you to look at and comment on. They're just eyes. "Wow how difficult is it here to make a simple point without people taking it the wrong way...how about, your garden roses look lovely....I was just giving an example that wasn't a body part. | |||
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"To be VERY clear I was in no way suggesting asking if the bottom, or any other part for that matter, could be touched...that is WRONG!
An ex of mine was very tall and hated people commenting on how tall she was....some would see no harm in it, but it offended her.
It was a genuine question, as people often say things with the best of intentions, but they aren't received that way.
Also, I comment on smiles and eyes as much as nice body parts...it was just an example.
I also think it strange that most people would take "nice car", for example, as a nice compliment....but saying you think someone has beautiful eyes can be taken badly..sad in some ways.
Interesting debate though.
Are you comparing women to cars that people buy?
Women aren't objects for you to comment on. Lol.
They've not grown those eyes/ smile for you to look at and comment on. They're just eyes. "Why would a compliment about having a nice smile or nice eyes be taken as something nasty and rude? | |||
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"OK...to mix it up then... does it change at all, and this is just for the interest of debate, depending on the situation...? 1. Walking around the supermarket 2. in a night club whilst standing at the bar, or on the dance floor. Again, the motivations with which people go to these two places are different. People go to bars to socialise, and often to meet people. People go to the supermarket to shop. "But even in the club scenario, they don't go to have some compliment them. | |||
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"OK...to mix it up then... does it change at all, and this is just for the interest of debate, depending on the situation...? 1. Walking around the supermarket 2. in a night club whilst standing at the bar, or on the dance floor. Again, the motivations with which people go to these two places are different. People go to bars to socialise, and often to meet people. People go to the supermarket to shop.
Oh I don't know... L has pulled in Asda before now " | |||
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"To be VERY clear I was in no way suggesting asking if the bottom, or any other part for that matter, could be touched...that is WRONG!
An ex of mine was very tall and hated people commenting on how tall she was....some would see no harm in it, but it offended her.
It was a genuine question, as people often say things with the best of intentions, but they aren't received that way.
Also, I comment on smiles and eyes as much as nice body parts...it was just an example.
I also think it strange that most people would take "nice car", for example, as a nice compliment....but saying you think someone has beautiful eyes can be taken badly..sad in some ways.
Interesting debate though.
Are you comparing women to cars that people buy?
Women aren't objects for you to comment on. Lol.
They've not grown those eyes/ smile for you to look at and comment on. They're just eyes.
Why would a compliment about having a nice smile or nice eyes be taken as something nasty and rude?
"Excatly....yay thank you | |||
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"To be VERY clear I was in no way suggesting asking if the bottom, or any other part for that matter, could be touched...that is WRONG!
An ex of mine was very tall and hated people commenting on how tall she was....some would see no harm in it, but it offended her.
It was a genuine question, as people often say things with the best of intentions, but they aren't received that way.
Also, I comment on smiles and eyes as much as nice body parts...it was just an example.
I also think it strange that most people would take "nice car", for example, as a nice compliment....but saying you think someone has beautiful eyes can be taken badly..sad in some ways.
Interesting debate though.
Are you comparing women to cars that people buy?
Women aren't objects for you to comment on. Lol.
They've not grown those eyes/ smile for you to look at and comment on. They're just eyes.
Wow how difficult is it here to make a simple point without people taking it the wrong way...how about, your garden roses look lovely....I was just giving an example that wasn't a body part."I think some people will take anything that is harmless and turn it into something horrible. Lol  | |||
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"What I don't like is when a guy comes up to me on the dance floor, with no prior acknowledgement, not even trying to catch my eye or a smile, and puts his hands around me and starts grinding against me. Why? Why do men do this? It's constant! Why can't you smile or say hi and see what happens? " Bloody hell do some people really do that? I'm too shy to ask a woman to dance who has smiled at me all night, let alone grab one lol | |||
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" Wow how difficult is it here to make a simple point without people taking it the wrong way...how about, your garden roses look lovely....I was just giving an example that wasn't a body part." You've just kinda made my point for me.... People aren't objects. They're people. You can't treat them like you'd treat a car, or a garden, or anything other than people. Because people deserve a bit more respect than cars or roses, don't you think? | |||
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"I read many men say they have better luck with women in the real world. Maybe it is because when they go upto a woman in a bar their opening line isn't "great tits, I would love to cum on them". But they are happy sending 1st messages like that on here and wonder why they get ignored. *Disclaimer, not all men, not all 1st messages "lol....I'm not sure that wouldn't be some mens opening lines in a club after some of the comments on here lol | |||
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" Why would a compliment about having a nice smile or nice eyes be taken as something nasty and rude? " Because not everyone wants people commenting on their eyes all the time? And there's a horrible trend of men becoming abusive when women kindly tell them their compliment was un-sought for. And when people comment on my body, I do take it as rude if it's unsolicited in any way. And you're right, it's not "nasty", but should "it's not nasty" be enough of a reason to do something? | |||
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" Wow how difficult is it here to make a simple point without people taking it the wrong way...how about, your garden roses look lovely....I was just giving an example that wasn't a body part. You've just kinda made my point for me.... People aren't objects. They're people. You can't treat them like you'd treat a car, or a garden, or anything other than people. Because people deserve a bit more respect than cars or roses, don't you think? " That's an interesting view point. Why is telling someone you find part of them beautiful, disrespectful? | |||
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"Well on Tuesday I was walking down a street when this guy came running after me and stopped me, he said he thought I looked amazing and could he have my number. I said no as apart from anything else he only looked about 19. Then he just said sorry he stopped me but I had the most amazing ass he had ever seen and had anyone ever told me that before? Then he walked away. It made me smile I wondered if his approach had ever worked for him!" Maybe you genuinely did have the nicest bottom he'd ever seen and it was the first time he'd ever said that..
Can you tell I tend to lean towards the good and positive in people? lol | |||
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" That's an interesting view point. Why is telling someone you find part of them beautiful, disrespectful?" Because you're giving them an unsolicited opinion on their body. It's like this: I love pizza, it's my favourite food. But if some dude came up to me in the street and tried to shove pizza down my throat I'd think it was pretty rude and disrespectful since I didn't ask for pizza. "But you love pizza" he says, "and this is delicious pizza." See the problem? | |||
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" Can you tell I tend to lean towards the good and positive in people? lol" But do you? Being good and positive, in my eyes, would be when you hear someone tell you they don't like something to say "gosh, I won't do that then!" instead of trying to convince them they're wrong. It seems to me you tend towards the good and positive as it suits you. | |||
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"Also, no one is saying all women hate these types of comments on real life. But just because some women liked them is not a reason for men to think it's OK to do it to all/ any women. " I agree with your comments on this thread. | |||
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"Also, no one is saying all women hate these types of comments on real life. But just because some women liked them is not a reason for men to think it's OK to do it to all/ any women. I agree with your comments on this thread. " Ditto!  | |||
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" Wow how difficult is it here to make a simple point without people taking it the wrong way...how about, your garden roses look lovely....I was just giving an example that wasn't a body part. You've just kinda made my point for me.... People aren't objects. They're people. You can't treat them like you'd treat a car, or a garden, or anything other than people. Because people deserve a bit more respect than cars or roses, don't you think? That's an interesting view point. Why is telling someone you find part of them beautiful, disrespectful?" Context. In certain situations its fine but you seem to be implying that those of us who don't like complete strangers commenting on our body in the street are wrong. | |||
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" Can you tell I tend to lean towards the good and positive in people? lol But do you? Being good and positive, in my eyes, would be when you hear someone tell you they don't like something to say "gosh, I won't do that then!" instead of trying to convince them they're wrong. It seems to me you tend towards the good and positive as it suits you. " In fact, I'm just generating debate and chat..it's a Forum.... I have, and would never, do or say anything to anyone that either explicitly stated or implied they didn't like that thing...whether that be a single word or an action.....so yes I DO. Your pizza analogy doesn't actually work for me, as it involves a physical act which by it's very nature is significantly more intrusive than a verbal one; despite the fact a verbal act can be very intrusive, it's not like the assault you describe. This is supposed to be a fun part of Fab...the whole site is...it's just a topic for debate....everyones opinion matters...and everyone should understand that. No one is force feeding anyone Pizza That's a joke. | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object?" Again context is key. | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object?" Or...your eyelashes are amazing....are they real? What do you use on them..... | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object?" No, because they often aren't doing it because they're sexually attracted to them. | |||
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" Wow how difficult is it here to make a simple point without people taking it the wrong way...how about, your garden roses look lovely....I was just giving an example that wasn't a body part. You've just kinda made my point for me.... People aren't objects. They're people. You can't treat them like you'd treat a car, or a garden, or anything other than people. Because people deserve a bit more respect than cars or roses, don't you think? That's an interesting view point. Why is telling someone you find part of them beautiful, disrespectful? Context. In certain situations its fine but you seem to be implying that those of us who don't like complete strangers commenting on our body in the street are wrong. " Then I apologies as I never meant to imply that at all......I'd never do it...just was interested in the opinions...however, this has morphed from would you do it...to how offensive, or it is implied in some ways aggressive it is..... It was a question about whether you would....that's all. | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? Or...your eyelashes are amazing....are they real? What do you use on them....." See, on your example, the woman is not commenting on a part of the other woman's body in a sexual way. | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? Again context is key." The context in which the lady said it to the lady...or that it's a woman talking to a woman? | |||
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" Then I apologies as I never meant to imply that at all......I'd never do it...just was interested in the opinions...however, this has morphed from would you do it...to how offensive, or it is implied in some ways aggressive it is..... It was a question about whether you would....that's all." See, to me it's a pretty natural and inevitable morph. Lol. 
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? Or...your eyelashes are amazing....are they real? What do you use on them..... See, on your example, the woman is not commenting on a part of the other woman's body in a sexual way. "Is that eyelashes comment one that a man would ever make? | |||
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" Wow how difficult is it here to make a simple point without people taking it the wrong way...how about, your garden roses look lovely....I was just giving an example that wasn't a body part. You've just kinda made my point for me.... People aren't objects. They're people. You can't treat them like you'd treat a car, or a garden, or anything other than people. Because people deserve a bit more respect than cars or roses, don't you think? That's an interesting view point. Why is telling someone you find part of them beautiful, disrespectful? Context. In certain situations its fine but you seem to be implying that those of us who don't like complete strangers commenting on our body in the street are wrong. Then I apologies as I never meant to imply that at all......I'd never do it...just was interested in the opinions...however, this has morphed from would you do it...to how offensive, or it is implied in some ways aggressive it is..... It was a question about whether you would....that's all." That's the nature of discussion and there's no need for an apology.
People's reactions to things depend on their life experience and what might seem harmless to one person might not to another. | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? No, because they often aren't doing it because they're sexually attracted to them. "often being the key word though....you can't assume. | |||
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"@happylittlefucktoy, it's a tough line to tread, yes some women will appreciate it, some will not. Some will like it from guys they find attractive but the same behaviour from another guy would be considered harassment. I would generally say that a polite compliment is OK, but have respect for how it is received and reacted to. Offense is taken not given, and people should be free to interact with others as they choose. " | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? No, because they often aren't doing it because they're sexually attracted to them.
often being the key word though....you can't assume."So you think a woman would comment on another woman's eyelashes and how she cares for them because she wants to get in her pants? Really....? | |||
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" Wow how difficult is it here to make a simple point without people taking it the wrong way...how about, your garden roses look lovely....I was just giving an example that wasn't a body part. You've just kinda made my point for me.... People aren't objects. They're people. You can't treat them like you'd treat a car, or a garden, or anything other than people. Because people deserve a bit more respect than cars or roses, don't you think? That's an interesting view point. Why is telling someone you find part of them beautiful, disrespectful? Context. In certain situations its fine but you seem to be implying that those of us who don't like complete strangers commenting on our body in the street are wrong. Then I apologies as I never meant to imply that at all......I'd never do it...just was interested in the opinions...however, this has morphed from would you do it...to how offensive, or it is implied in some ways aggressive it is..... It was a question about whether you would....that's all. That's the nature of discussion and there's no need for an apology.
People's reactions to things depend on their life experience and what might seem harmless to one person might not to another." | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? No, because they often aren't doing it because they're sexually attracted to them.
often being the key word though....you can't assume.
So you think a woman would comment on another woman's eyelashes and how she cares for them because she wants to get in her pants? Really....?"It's as good a line as I've heard any man use lol | |||
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"@happylittlefucktoy, it's a tough line to tread, yes some women will appreciate it, some will not. Some will like it from guys they find attractive but the same behaviour from another guy would be considered harassment. I would generally say that a polite compliment is OK, but have respect for how it is received and reacted to. Offense is taken not given, and people should be free to interact with others as they choose. " *nod* I entirely agree that people should be free to interact with others as they choose. But that doesn't mean "interact without consequence" And so when that behaviour is often touted as being problematic, and hundreds of women call it out every day as being harmful, why should it continue to be entertained and defended? And it's really easy to put the onus of "taking offence" on the offended, but why should people who do a bad behaviour be allowed to continue to do it just on the off chance it's well received by a minority of women? | |||
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"At work recently a lovely male customer commented that I had really nice eyes and just sat there staring at them for what felt like a lifetime before the shock evaporated and I stuttered red-faced erm thanks, a-a-are you ready to order? My point being when your not expecting someone to compliment you it can be awkward and embarrassing - for me it is anyway. And that was just my eyes!" I've been complimented on my eyes just a couple of times...I appreciated it, but did find it embarrassing too...but stil, felt the sentiment was lovely. | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? No, because they often aren't doing it because they're sexually attracted to them.
often being the key word though....you can't assume.
So you think a woman would comment on another woman's eyelashes and how she cares for them because she wants to get in her pants? Really....?
It's as good a line as I've heard any man use lol "If you are serious, and you think eyelashes and their care is comparable to some of the lines that men use, I feel you would really benefit from reading things like Everything Sexism and other anecdotal collections of the things women have to endure men saying to them on and off the street. | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? Again context is key. The context in which the lady said it to the lady...or that it's a woman talking to a woman?" Is it sexual? This is the key here I think, it would be quite reasonable to assume that a man saying "you have a lovely bottom" is down to him appreciating it from a sexual point of view...not so much with a woman commenting on another woman's smile. The thing is from my point of view I grew tired of some men seeing me as a set of tits and arse (excuse my language) walking around for their sole pleasure so my views are influenced by this. I know that not all men are like this but enough are to make me wary of all men that I don't know. An example I was walking along chatting to a friend about my hair a man unknown to me approached and said "with breasts like that you don't need to worry about your hair"... | |||
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"@happylittlefucktoy, it's a tough line to tread, yes some women will appreciate it, some will not. Some will like it from guys they find attractive but the same behaviour from another guy would be considered harassment. I would generally say that a polite compliment is OK, but have respect for how it is received and reacted to. Offense is taken not given, and people should be free to interact with others as they choose. *nod* I entirely agree that people should be free to interact with others as they choose. But that doesn't mean "interact without consequence" And so when that behaviour is often touted as being problematic, and hundreds of women call it out every day as being harmful, why should it continue to be entertained and defended? And it's really easy to put the onus of "taking offence" on the offended, but why should people who do a bad behaviour be allowed to continue to do it just on the off chance it's well received by a minority of women? " As I said, a tough line to tread. A simple "you look lovely this morning" is not exactly harmful, but "nice rack, I'd love to motorboat that" would be considered rude by most. But in-between is a whole range that people may or may not appreciate depending on their own points of view, opinions on the other party, and general mood at the time. | |||
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"I know that not all men are like this but enough are to make me wary of all men that I don't know. An example I was walking along chatting to a friend about my hair a man unknown to me approached and said "with breasts like that you don't need to worry about your hair"..." Fucking hell that's shit.  | |||
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" As I said, a tough line to tread. A simple "you look lovely this morning" is not exactly harmful, but "nice rack, I'd love to motorboat that" would be considered rude by most. But in-between is a whole range that people may or may not appreciate depending on their own points of view, opinions on the other party, and general mood at the time. " So, my follow on question would be: why does how lovely I look this morning have anything to do with anything? Why does it need to be commented on? | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? Again context is key. The context in which the lady said it to the lady...or that it's a woman talking to a woman? Is it sexual? This is the key here I think, it would be quite reasonable to assume that a man saying "you have a lovely bottom" is down to him appreciating it from a sexual point of view...not so much with a woman commenting on another woman's smile. The thing is from my point of view I grew tired of some men seeing me as a set of tits and arse (excuse my language) walking around for their sole pleasure so my views are influenced by this. I know that not all men are like this but enough are to make me wary of all men that I don't know. An example I was walking along chatting to a friend about my hair a man unknown to me approached and said "with breasts like that you don't need to worry about your hair"..." Not saying there aren't idiots in the world. But, surely, on a site like this, we are more open than most to not assuming the sexuality of an individual based on their gender. There is a chance, a decent chance in fact, that same gender comments are sexual. | |||
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"I know that not all men are like this but enough are to make me wary of all men that I don't know. An example I was walking along chatting to a friend about my hair a man unknown to me approached and said "with breasts like that you don't need to worry about your hair"... Fucking hell that's shit. "Yep. But the saddest bit is that some view it as a compliment  | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? Again context is key. The context in which the lady said it to the lady...or that it's a woman talking to a woman? Is it sexual? This is the key here I think, it would be quite reasonable to assume that a man saying "you have a lovely bottom" is down to him appreciating it from a sexual point of view...not so much with a woman commenting on another woman's smile. The thing is from my point of view I grew tired of some men seeing me as a set of tits and arse (excuse my language) walking around for their sole pleasure so my views are influenced by this. I know that not all men are like this but enough are to make me wary of all men that I don't know. An example I was walking along chatting to a friend about my hair a man unknown to me approached and said "with breasts like that you don't need to worry about your hair"... Not saying there aren't idiots in the world. But, surely, on a site like this, we are more open than most to not assuming the sexuality of an individual based on their gender. There is a chance, a decent chance in fact, that same gender comments are sexual." It's quite easy to tell if a woman is complimenting you because she fancies you or because she wants the brand name of your mascara. | |||
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" As I said, a tough line to tread. A simple "you look lovely this morning" is not exactly harmful, but "nice rack, I'd love to motorboat that" would be considered rude by most. But in-between is a whole range that people may or may not appreciate depending on their own points of view, opinions on the other party, and general mood at the time. So, my follow on question would be: why does how lovely I look this morning have anything to do with anything? Why does it need to be commented on? " Adversely, why should it not...or indeed..the real reverse...are you ok as you don't look too well. | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? Again context is key. The context in which the lady said it to the lady...or that it's a woman talking to a woman? Is it sexual? This is the key here I think, it would be quite reasonable to assume that a man saying "you have a lovely bottom" is down to him appreciating it from a sexual point of view...not so much with a woman commenting on another woman's smile. The thing is from my point of view I grew tired of some men seeing me as a set of tits and arse (excuse my language) walking around for their sole pleasure so my views are influenced by this. I know that not all men are like this but enough are to make me wary of all men that I don't know. An example I was walking along chatting to a friend about my hair a man unknown to me approached and said "with breasts like that you don't need to worry about your hair"... Not saying there aren't idiots in the world. But, surely, on a site like this, we are more open than most to not assuming the sexuality of an individual based on their gender. There is a chance, a decent chance in fact, that same gender comments are sexual. It's quite easy to tell if a woman is complimenting you because she fancies you or because she wants the brand name of your mascara." From what you've all said..it's easy to tell what the guys are thinking too lol | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? No, because they often aren't doing it because they're sexually attracted to them.
often being the key word though....you can't assume.
So you think a woman would comment on another woman's eyelashes and how she cares for them because she wants to get in her pants? Really....?
It's as good a line as I've heard any man use lol "To be honest, I would never even consider stopping a woman to tell her she had lovely eyes or smile haha. I would think in my head as she passed by " oh, she's pretty". I do think it's inappropriate for a stranger to comment on a body part, especially a personal one. I would just find it awkward and uncomfortable. I understand it would be a compliment. But it is unsolicited nonetheless, and I would not appreciate it. I'd rather them think it, and just pass me by with their lip zipped | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? Again context is key. The context in which the lady said it to the lady...or that it's a woman talking to a woman? Is it sexual? This is the key here I think, it would be quite reasonable to assume that a man saying "you have a lovely bottom" is down to him appreciating it from a sexual point of view...not so much with a woman commenting on another woman's smile. The thing is from my point of view I grew tired of some men seeing me as a set of tits and arse (excuse my language) walking around for their sole pleasure so my views are influenced by this. I know that not all men are like this but enough are to make me wary of all men that I don't know. An example I was walking along chatting to a friend about my hair a man unknown to me approached and said "with breasts like that you don't need to worry about your hair"... Not saying there aren't idiots in the world. But, surely, on a site like this, we are more open than most to not assuming the sexuality of an individual based on their gender. There is a chance, a decent chance in fact, that same gender comments are sexual. It's quite easy to tell if a woman is complimenting you because she fancies you or because she wants the brand name of your mascara." LMFAO.
And yes, of course there are same gender sexual comments.
In which case, going back to the original question, if a woman makes an unsolicited comment based on the body of another woman, then yes, it is objectification. | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? No, because they often aren't doing it because they're sexually attracted to them.
often being the key word though....you can't assume.
So you think a woman would comment on another woman's eyelashes and how she cares for them because she wants to get in her pants? Really....?
It's as good a line as I've heard any man use lol
To be honest, I would never even consider stopping a woman to tell her she had lovely eyes or smile haha. I would think in my head as she passed by " oh, she's pretty". I do think it's inappropriate for a stranger to comment on a body part, especially a personal one. I would just find it awkward and uncomfortable. I understand it would be a compliment. But it is unsolicited nonetheless, and I would not appreciate it. I'd rather them think it, and just pass me by with their lip zipped "See? Why can't men think this?! | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? Again context is key. The context in which the lady said it to the lady...or that it's a woman talking to a woman? Is it sexual? This is the key here I think, it would be quite reasonable to assume that a man saying "you have a lovely bottom" is down to him appreciating it from a sexual point of view...not so much with a woman commenting on another woman's smile. The thing is from my point of view I grew tired of some men seeing me as a set of tits and arse (excuse my language) walking around for their sole pleasure so my views are influenced by this. I know that not all men are like this but enough are to make me wary of all men that I don't know. An example I was walking along chatting to a friend about my hair a man unknown to me approached and said "with breasts like that you don't need to worry about your hair"... Not saying there aren't idiots in the world. But, surely, on a site like this, we are more open than most to not assuming the sexuality of an individual based on their gender. There is a chance, a decent chance in fact, that same gender comments are sexual. It's quite easy to tell if a woman is complimenting you because she fancies you or because she wants the brand name of your mascara. From what you've all said..it's easy to tell what the guys are thinking too lol "Well no man ever shouted "not many of them to a pound darling" as I walked past because he wanted to know where I got my bra from. | |||
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" From what you've all said..it's easy to tell what the guys are thinking too lol
Well no man ever shouted "not many of them to a pound darling" as I walked past because he wanted to know where I got my bra from."Rigby and Pellar? | |||
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" As I said, a tough line to tread. A simple "you look lovely this morning" is not exactly harmful, but "nice rack, I'd love to motorboat that" would be considered rude by most. But in-between is a whole range that people may or may not appreciate depending on their own points of view, opinions on the other party, and general mood at the time. So, my follow on question would be: why does how lovely I look this morning have anything to do with anything? Why does it need to be commented on? Adversely, why should it not...or indeed..the real reverse...are you ok as you don't look too well. "Ah, but to ask after someone's health is done in a caring way, not in a "wow, I'd like to sleep with her way", do you not see the difference? And you shouldn't do things just because there's no reason not to. It should be because there is a reason to. So, what is the reason anyone needs to comment on the way anyone looks? It's nothing to do with them. | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? Again context is key. The context in which the lady said it to the lady...or that it's a woman talking to a woman? Is it sexual? This is the key here I think, it would be quite reasonable to assume that a man saying "you have a lovely bottom" is down to him appreciating it from a sexual point of view...not so much with a woman commenting on another woman's smile. The thing is from my point of view I grew tired of some men seeing me as a set of tits and arse (excuse my language) walking around for their sole pleasure so my views are influenced by this. I know that not all men are like this but enough are to make me wary of all men that I don't know. An example I was walking along chatting to a friend about my hair a man unknown to me approached and said "with breasts like that you don't need to worry about your hair"... Not saying there aren't idiots in the world. But, surely, on a site like this, we are more open than most to not assuming the sexuality of an individual based on their gender. There is a chance, a decent chance in fact, that same gender comments are sexual. It's quite easy to tell if a woman is complimenting you because she fancies you or because she wants the brand name of your mascara. From what you've all said..it's easy to tell what the guys are thinking too lol
Well no man ever shouted "not many of them to a pound darling" as I walked past because he wanted to know where I got my bra from." | |||
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" As I said, a tough line to tread. A simple "you look lovely this morning" is not exactly harmful, but "nice rack, I'd love to motorboat that" would be considered rude by most. But in-between is a whole range that people may or may not appreciate depending on their own points of view, opinions on the other party, and general mood at the time. So, my follow on question would be: why does how lovely I look this morning have anything to do with anything? Why does it need to be commented on? Adversely, why should it not...or indeed..the real reverse...are you ok as you don't look too well.
Ah, but to ask after someone's health is done in a caring way, not in a "wow, I'd like to sleep with her way", do you not see the difference?
And you shouldn't do things just because there's no reason not to. It should be because there is a reason to. So, what is the reason anyone needs to comment on the way anyone looks? It's nothing to do with them. "Is the health of a stranger anything to do with yourself? | |||
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" From what you've all said..it's easy to tell what the guys are thinking too lol
Well no man ever shouted "not many of them to a pound darling" as I walked past because he wanted to know where I got my bra from.
Rigby and Pellar?"If only! But you do see my point | |||
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" From what you've all said..it's easy to tell what the guys are thinking too lol
Well no man ever shouted "not many of them to a pound darling" as I walked past because he wanted to know where I got my bra from.
Rigby and Pellar?
If only! But you do see my point "totally...and glad we have generated some interesting debate | |||
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" Is the health of a stranger anything to do with yourself?" a) No, it's not. b) Do you really think that when people say "You look lovely" they mean "you look healthy"? c) If those men are soooo concerned with the health of strangers, why don't they say "You look lovely" "nice smile" "beautiful eyes" to any other men, only women? | |||
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"Rather than just messaging people with suggestions of meeting, and the like, I often message a lady I think is pretty, sexy, has a nice bottom etc, and just tell her... You know, "I think you have a really gorgeous bottom"...only if I do, indeed, believe that she has a nice bottom. In most cases, the ladies in question are flattered and appreciate the compliment, and that's where the message exchange ends...it's not for any other reason than to give a compliment. I walk a lot, too and from work, in London. Recently I've wondered what reaction I'd get, if in the "Real World", I simply said to a lady..."you have a really nice bottom"...as I just passed by...smiled and kept going. Something tells me it wouldn't be so positive lol "what, you mean you can't just whip out your cock and say you want to suck this in the real world? | |||
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" As I said, a tough line to tread. A simple "you look lovely this morning" is not exactly harmful, but "nice rack, I'd love to motorboat that" would be considered rude by most. But in-between is a whole range that people may or may not appreciate depending on their own points of view, opinions on the other party, and general mood at the time. So, my follow on question would be: why does how lovely I look this morning have anything to do with anything? Why does it need to be commented on? Adversely, why should it not...or indeed..the real reverse...are you ok as you don't look too well.
Ah, but to ask after someone's health is done in a caring way, not in a "wow, I'd like to sleep with her way", do you not see the difference?
And you shouldn't do things just because there's no reason not to. It should be because there is a reason to. So, what is the reason anyone needs to comment on the way anyone looks? It's nothing to do with them. "There are many reasons, we are sexual creatures (a facet of our existence not the only one) , so finding ways to express interest in others and gauge theirs in return. Because some people like to be complimented and it will brighten their day? An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? I should point out that I don't generally interact with strangers when out and about at all, and certainly wouldn't comment on a random womans appearanvr, but I don't think compliments are automatically harassment just because harassment often manifests in compliments | |||
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" Is the health of a stranger anything to do with yourself? a) No, it's not. b) Do you really think that when people say "You look lovely" they mean "you look healthy"? c) If those men are soooo concerned with the health of strangers, why don't they say "You look lovely" "nice smile" "beautiful eyes" to any other men, only women? " I'm sure gay men do | |||
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" From what you've all said..it's easy to tell what the guys are thinking too lol
Well no man ever shouted "not many of them to a pound darling" as I walked past because he wanted to know where I got my bra from.
Rigby and Pellar?
If only! But you do see my point
totally...and glad we have generated some interesting debate"Me too! I'm off out but it's been nice to talk this over with you all | |||
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" As I said, a tough line to tread. A simple "you look lovely this morning" is not exactly harmful, but "nice rack, I'd love to motorboat that" would be considered rude by most. But in-between is a whole range that people may or may not appreciate depending on their own points of view, opinions on the other party, and general mood at the time. So, my follow on question would be: why does how lovely I look this morning have anything to do with anything? Why does it need to be commented on? Adversely, why should it not...or indeed..the real reverse...are you ok as you don't look too well. "Hahaha far worse than a compliment... But they'd definitely get a reaction from me!!  | |||
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" From what you've all said..it's easy to tell what the guys are thinking too lol
Well no man ever shouted "not many of them to a pound darling" as I walked past because he wanted to know where I got my bra from.
Rigby and Pellar?
If only! But you do see my point
totally...and glad we have generated some interesting debate
Me too!
I'm off out but it's been nice to talk this over with you all " | |||
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" Is the health of a stranger anything to do with yourself? a) No, it's not. b) Do you really think that when people say "You look lovely" they mean "you look healthy"? c) If those men are soooo concerned with the health of strangers, why don't they say "You look lovely" "nice smile" "beautiful eyes" to any other men, only women? I'm sure gay men do "And no one is disputing that in any way...? lol What's your point? | |||
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" Is the health of a stranger anything to do with yourself? a) No, it's not. b) Do you really think that when people say "You look lovely" they mean "you look healthy"? c) If those men are soooo concerned with the health of strangers, why don't they say "You look lovely" "nice smile" "beautiful eyes" to any other men, only women? I'm sure gay men do
And no one is disputing that in any way...? lol What's your point? "My point is the danger of generalization and pigeon holing things... I totally get your point how a comment aimed at being a compliment may not be received as such...it was part of the reason for asking the question in the first place...which has generated a lot of debate and opinion....great thing about opinions is they are just that.....everyone's is right...to them.. | |||
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" There are many reasons, we are sexual creatures (a facet of our existence not the only one) , so finding ways to express interest in others and gauge theirs in return. " But there are avenues and places to do that "finding". And unsolicited comments about a woman while she's trying to walk down the street isn't an appropriate one. Her "interest" while she's trying to walk home from work will be "none". How many relationship stories start with "Damn, I'm sure glad he yelled to me that I had a fine ass while I was waiting for the bus that day!" " Because some people like to be complimented and it will brighten their day? " Yes, of course they do. But should the many more women who don't like it be subjected to it on a daily basis, just because *some* people like it? " An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? " Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
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" Is the health of a stranger anything to do with yourself? a) No, it's not. b) Do you really think that when people say "You look lovely" they mean "you look healthy"? c) If those men are soooo concerned with the health of strangers, why don't they say "You look lovely" "nice smile" "beautiful eyes" to any other men, only women? I'm sure gay men do
And no one is disputing that in any way...? lol What's your point?
My point is the danger of generalization and pigeon holing things...
I totally get your point how a comment aimed at being a compliment may not be received as such...it was part of the reason for asking the question in the first place...which has generated a lot of debate and opinion....great thing about opinions is they are just that.....everyone's is right...to them.. "I don't think I was generalising or pigeonholing anything....? But sure, whatever, let's talk about gay men now! lol | |||
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" There are many reasons, we are sexual creatures (a facet of our existence not the only one) , so finding ways to express interest in others and gauge theirs in return. But there are avenues and places to do that "finding". And unsolicited comments about a woman while she's trying to walk down the street isn't an appropriate one. Her "interest" while she's trying to walk home from work will be "none". How many relationship stories start with "Damn, I'm sure glad he yelled to me that I had a fine ass while I was waiting for the bus that day!" Because some people like to be complimented and it will brighten their day? Yes, of course they do. But should the many more women who don't like it be subjected to it on a daily basis, just because *some* people like it? An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
"How are we, that's a global we, sure that the MAJORITY of people don't like a compliment about part of their appearance? | |||
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" There are many reasons, we are sexual creatures (a facet of our existence not the only one) , so finding ways to express interest in others and gauge theirs in return. But there are avenues and places to do that "finding". And unsolicited comments about a woman while she's trying to walk down the street isn't an appropriate one. Her "interest" while she's trying to walk home from work will be "none". How many relationship stories start with "Damn, I'm sure glad he yelled to me that I had a fine ass while I was waiting for the bus that day!" Because some people like to be complimented and it will brighten their day? Yes, of course they do. But should the many more women who don't like it be subjected to it on a daily basis, just because *some* people like it? An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
"Why is a woman suddenly just a thing because a man pays them a compliment? | |||
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" There are many reasons, we are sexual creatures (a facet of our existence not the only one) , so finding ways to express interest in others and gauge theirs in return. But there are avenues and places to do that "finding". And unsolicited comments about a woman while she's trying to walk down the street isn't an appropriate one. Her "interest" while she's trying to walk home from work will be "none". How many relationship stories start with "Damn, I'm sure glad he yelled to me that I had a fine ass while I was waiting for the bus that day!" Because some people like to be complimented and it will brighten their day? Yes, of course they do. But should the many more women who don't like it be subjected to it on a daily basis, just because *some* people like it? An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
How are we, that's a global we, sure that the MAJORITY of people don't like a compliment about part of their appearance?"Like, no one is saying that the GLOBAL WE is 100% sure that the MAJORITY of people don't like a compliment about their appearance. What I am saying is that I, personally, as one person, am 100% certain that the majority of women are uncomfotable with unsolicited comments about their body made to them in public. Because I've read the anecdotes. Hundreds of women have come out to say this very thing. Again, have a look at Everyday Sexism, and you'll see thousands of anedcotes of women who have to deal with unsolicited advances. | |||
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" There are many reasons, we are sexual creatures (a facet of our existence not the only one) , so finding ways to express interest in others and gauge theirs in return. But there are avenues and places to do that "finding". And unsolicited comments about a woman while she's trying to walk down the street isn't an appropriate one. Her "interest" while she's trying to walk home from work will be "none". How many relationship stories start with "Damn, I'm sure glad he yelled to me that I had a fine ass while I was waiting for the bus that day!" Because some people like to be complimented and it will brighten their day? Yes, of course they do. But should the many more women who don't like it be subjected to it on a daily basis, just because *some* people like it? An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
Why is a woman suddenly just a thing because a man pays them a compliment? " | |||
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" There are many reasons, we are sexual creatures (a facet of our existence not the only one) , so finding ways to express interest in others and gauge theirs in return. But there are avenues and places to do that "finding". And unsolicited comments about a woman while she's trying to walk down the street isn't an appropriate one. Her "interest" while she's trying to walk home from work will be "none". How many relationship stories start with "Damn, I'm sure glad he yelled to me that I had a fine ass while I was waiting for the bus that day!" Because some people like to be complimented and it will brighten their day? Yes, of course they do. But should the many more women who don't like it be subjected to it on a daily basis, just because *some* people like it? An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
Why is a woman suddenly just a thing because a man pays them a compliment? "Because to comment on a persons body part ( bum especially) is to objectify them. Some women take offense.. Some men too perhaps. They are strangers, and I don't need to hear their opinion on whether my ass is fine or not. | |||
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" An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
Why is a woman suddenly just a thing because a man pays them a compliment? "Um, because the poster above LITERALLY calls women "something beautiful"? | |||
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" An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
Why is a woman suddenly just a thing because a man pays them a compliment?
Um, because the poster above LITERALLY calls women "something beautiful"?
"Instead of "someone"? Like, men do it themselves, they don't need any projection from us. lmao. | |||
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" Why is a woman suddenly just a thing because a man pays them a compliment? Because to comment on a persons body part ( bum especially) is to objectify them. Some women take offense.. Some men too perhaps. They are strangers, and I don't need to hear their opinion on whether my ass is fine or not. " I guess it is all down to the individual receiving the comment. As very apparent from the positives and negatives demonstrated here. | |||
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" Why is a woman suddenly just a thing because a man pays them a compliment? Because to comment on a persons body part ( bum especially) is to objectify them. Some women take offense.. Some men too perhaps. They are strangers, and I don't need to hear their opinion on whether my ass is fine or not. I guess it is all down to the individual receiving the comment. As very apparent from the positives and negatives demonstrated here." I agree, and the problem with that is, given that they are a stranger, you have no idea which side of the fence they are on in regards to them being randomly complimented. | |||
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" There are many reasons, we are sexual creatures (a facet of our existence not the only one) , so finding ways to express interest in others and gauge theirs in return. But there are avenues and places to do that "finding". And unsolicited comments about a woman while she's trying to walk down the street isn't an appropriate one. Her "interest" while she's trying to walk home from work will be "none". How many relationship stories start with "Damn, I'm sure glad he yelled to me that I had a fine ass while I was waiting for the bus that day!" Because some people like to be complimented and it will brighten their day? Yes, of course they do. But should the many more women who don't like it be subjected to it on a daily basis, just because *some* people like it? An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
How are we, that's a global we, sure that the MAJORITY of people don't like a compliment about part of their appearance?
Like, no one is saying that the GLOBAL WE is 100% sure that the MAJORITY of people don't like a compliment about their appearance.
What I am saying is that I, personally, as one person, am 100% certain that the majority of women are uncomfotable with unsolicited comments about their body made to them in public.
Because I've read the anecdotes. Hundreds of women have come out to say this very thing. Again, have a look at Everyday Sexism, and you'll see thousands of anedcotes of women who have to deal with unsolicited advances."And people are more likely to comment, write about and make their feelings known about negatives than they are positives. That's why the BBC has a complaints log, and not a congratulations log. | |||
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" And people are more likely to comment, write about and make their feelings known about negatives than they are positives. That's why the BBC has a complaints log, and not a congratulations log." Absolutely! Companies have a complaints form to improve on things they do wrong. So why do men continue to harass women with "compliments" even when thousands of women say they don't like it? | |||
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" Why is a woman suddenly just a thing because a man pays them a compliment? Because to comment on a persons body part ( bum especially) is to objectify them. Some women take offense.. Some men too perhaps. They are strangers, and I don't need to hear their opinion on whether my ass is fine or not. I guess it is all down to the individual receiving the comment. As very apparent from the positives and negatives demonstrated here. I agree, and the problem with that is, given that they are a stranger, you have no idea which side of the fence they are on in regards to them being randomly complimented. " ^This! | |||
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" And people are more likely to comment, write about and make their feelings known about negatives than they are positives. That's why the BBC has a complaints log, and not a congratulations log. Absolutely! Companies have a complaints form to improve on things they do wrong. So why do men continue to harass women with "compliments" even when thousands of women say they don't like it?" Because, and we can't tell, maybe 1000's do like it...maybe 1000's more like it than don't.. why should those that like it miss out on a compliment because some other people don't like them? | |||
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" And people are more likely to comment, write about and make their feelings known about negatives than they are positives. That's why the BBC has a complaints log, and not a congratulations log. Absolutely! Companies have a complaints form to improve on things they do wrong. So why do men continue to harass women with "compliments" even when thousands of women say they don't like it? Because, and we can't tell, maybe 1000's do like it...maybe 1000's more like it than don't.. why should those that like it miss out on a compliment because some other people don't like them?" Because if more people liked it, there would be evidence of this. And there is none.
And is it better to offend loads of people IN CASE some other people "miss out" on being told their face is nice, in public, or is it better to not do that, and offend no one. Full stop. Literally the outcome of stopping unsolicited comments is that no one is offended.
Cos I know which I'd choose. | |||
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" And people are more likely to comment, write about and make their feelings known about negatives than they are positives. That's why the BBC has a complaints log, and not a congratulations log. Absolutely! Companies have a complaints form to improve on things they do wrong. So why do men continue to harass women with "compliments" even when thousands of women say they don't like it? Because, and we can't tell, maybe 1000's do like it...maybe 1000's more like it than don't.. why should those that like it miss out on a compliment because some other people don't like them? Because if more people liked it, there would be evidence of this. And there is none.
And is it better to offend loads of people IN CASE some other people "miss out" on being told their face is nice, in public, or is it better to not do that, and offend no one. Full stop. Literally the outcome of stopping unsolicited comments is that no one is offended.
Cos I know which I'd choose."If we never did anything because of the risk...we'd still be in caves. | |||
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" An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
Why is a woman suddenly just a thing because a man pays them a compliment?
Um, because the poster above LITERALLY calls women "something beautiful"?
"Your policing of language is a bit over the top. I used something, rather than someone, as the appreciation of beauty is not reserved to people but objects and concepts as well. Also you reference the everyday sexism projevt as proof that the vast majority of women agree with you. While not wishing to diminish the seriousness of harassment, that project is self selecting. It ask for women to tell their stories of harassment. It doesnt seek tales of appreciated comments or stories of people who connected after an approach from a stranger. There are other threads on here active right now with examples of women who love to receive attention from guys in public. | |||
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" And people are more likely to comment, write about and make their feelings known about negatives than they are positives. That's why the BBC has a complaints log, and not a congratulations log. Absolutely! Companies have a complaints form to improve on things they do wrong. So why do men continue to harass women with "compliments" even when thousands of women say they don't like it? Because, and we can't tell, maybe 1000's do like it...maybe 1000's more like it than don't.. why should those that like it miss out on a compliment because some other people don't like them?" Because those that don't like it, get offended, best not to say anything. A woman is not going to get offended or feel objectified if she doesn't get a compliment in the street. So why should those be subjected to it just in case they like it? | |||
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" An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
Why is a woman suddenly just a thing because a man pays them a compliment?
Um, because the poster above LITERALLY calls women "something beautiful"?
Your policing of language is a bit over the top. I used something, rather than someone, as the appreciation of beauty is not reserved to people but objects and concepts as well.
Also you reference the everyday sexism projevt as proof that the vast majority of women agree with you. While not wishing to diminish the seriousness of harassment, that project is self selecting. It ask for women to tell their stories of harassment. It doesnt seek tales of appreciated comments or stories of people who connected after an approach from a stranger. There are other threads on here active right now with examples of women who love to receive attention from guys in public. " | |||
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"Goes back to my point earlier...everyone believes their own opinion to be right. All anyone can say with any ounce of certainty is what they like, or don't like. Those posting here can say...I like being complimented in X scenario, or they don't. You cannot say what others do and do like on mass. Just the voices/comments/beliefs you have heard expressed; and they may or may not represent the masses." Wellll..... I don't base my opinion on nothing though.... I read anecdotes every single day from women who don't like being harassed in the street.... And if masses of women express the same comment/ belief, that's kind of.... the definition of being representative of the masses..... And to dismiss those IN CASE there are more people who are the opposite (with literally no documented evidence?).... just for the men's privilege of being able to tell women they're attractive? Nah.... that really doesn't work for me. I will continue to look at evidence based data and deduce my opinion from that, thanks! | |||
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" Because if more people liked it, there would be evidence of this. And there is none.
"Bad logic, there is evidence of harassment because a large project has gone seeking it. No one has surveyed women asking for their experiences of enjoying compliments, there is no website where they can tell these stories. | |||
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" And people are more likely to comment, write about and make their feelings known about negatives than they are positives. That's why the BBC has a complaints log, and not a congratulations log. Absolutely! Companies have a complaints form to improve on things they do wrong. So why do men continue to harass women with "compliments" even when thousands of women say they don't like it? Because, and we can't tell, maybe 1000's do like it...maybe 1000's more like it than don't.. why should those that like it miss out on a compliment because some other people don't like them? Because those that don't like it, get offended, best not to say anything. A woman is not going to get offended or feel objectified if she doesn't get a compliment in the street. So why should those be subjected to it just in case they like it? " What about the situation, already mentioned in this thread, where the compliment makes their day...or makes them feel happy, appreciated...and yes it may be shallow to take such an approach but this is all very subjective...what one person considers beautiful or attractive another may not. What about those people it brings a genuine joy to, and would make a genuine difference to their day. My point, once again, is that you are all correct...for some it is harassment, for some it would be the highlight of a bad day, week, month etc..or indeed the low point of one. I'm just not convinced anyone has made the argument, with actual data to back it up, that there is an overwhelming opinion, one way or another, as to whether receiving a compliment from a stranger is good or bad. | |||
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" An expression of appreciation of something beautiful? Women aren't "things" for you to admire.
Why is a woman suddenly just a thing because a man pays them a compliment?
Um, because the poster above LITERALLY calls women "something beautiful"?
Your policing of language is a bit over the top. I used something, rather than someone, as the appreciation of beauty is not reserved to people but objects and concepts as well.
Also you reference the everyday sexism projevt as proof that the vast majority of women agree with you. While not wishing to diminish the seriousness of harassment, that project is self selecting. It ask for women to tell their stories of harassment. It doesnt seek tales of appreciated comments or stories of people who connected after an approach from a stranger. There are other threads on here active right now with examples of women who love to receive attention from guys in public. "The forums of fab are a much smaller representation of women than an all-accessible website. And if there are so many women who love getting compliments in the street, where is the mainstream anecdotal evidence of that? "I used something, rather than someone, as the appreciation of beauty is not reserved to people but objects and concepts as well. " This is literally the problem. The appreciation of beauty of a person is fundamentally different to the appreciation of the beauty of an object. That is literally what objectification means. Is when you appreciate a person like an object. Because people aren't objects simply there for your admiration. "If we never did anything because of the risk...we'd still be in caves." This is a nonsensical statement. | |||
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"Goes back to my point earlier...everyone believes their own opinion to be right. All anyone can say with any ounce of certainty is what they like, or don't like. Those posting here can say...I like being complimented in X scenario, or they don't. You cannot say what others do and do like on mass. Just the voices/comments/beliefs you have heard expressed; and they may or may not represent the masses. Wellll..... I don't base my opinion on nothing though.... I read anecdotes every single day from women who don't like being harassed in the street.... And if masses of women express the same comment/ belief, that's kind of.... the definition of being representative of the masses..... And to dismiss those IN CASE there are more people who are the opposite (with literally no documented evidence?).... just for the men's privilege of being able to tell women they're attractive? Nah.... that really doesn't work for me. I will continue to look at evidence based data and deduce my opinion from that, thanks! "It simply isn't representative of the masses. It's representative of those who express an opinion...often when asked in a negative light. Without a decent sample of responses from people, asked an open question in a neutral environment, you cannot know the the thought of the masses. | |||
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" And people are more likely to comment, write about and make their feelings known about negatives than they are positives. That's why the BBC has a complaints log, and not a congratulations log. Absolutely! Companies have a complaints form to improve on things they do wrong. So why do men continue to harass women with "compliments" even when thousands of women say they don't like it? Because, and we can't tell, maybe 1000's do like it...maybe 1000's more like it than don't.. why should those that like it miss out on a compliment because some other people don't like them? Because those that don't like it, get offended, best not to say anything. A woman is not going to get offended or feel objectified if she doesn't get a compliment in the street. So why should those be subjected to it just in case they like it? What about the situation, already mentioned in this thread, where the compliment makes their day...or makes them feel happy, appreciated...and yes it may be shallow to take such an approach but this is all very subjective...what one person considers beautiful or attractive another may not. What about those people it brings a genuine joy to, and would make a genuine difference to their day. My point, once again, is that you are all correct...for some it is harassment, for some it would be the highlight of a bad day, week, month etc..or indeed the low point of one. I'm just not convinced anyone has made the argument, with actual data to back it up, that there is an overwhelming opinion, one way or another, as to whether receiving a compliment from a stranger is good or bad. " But if they don't get that compliment that "makes their day", are they offended? | |||
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"Goes back to my point earlier...everyone believes their own opinion to be right. All anyone can say with any ounce of certainty is what they like, or don't like. Those posting here can say...I like being complimented in X scenario, or they don't. You cannot say what others do and do like on mass. Just the voices/comments/beliefs you have heard expressed; and they may or may not represent the masses. Wellll..... I don't base my opinion on nothing though.... I read anecdotes every single day from women who don't like being harassed in the street.... And if masses of women express the same comment/ belief, that's kind of.... the definition of being representative of the masses..... And to dismiss those IN CASE there are more people who are the opposite (with literally no documented evidence?).... just for the men's privilege of being able to tell women they're attractive? Nah.... that really doesn't work for me. I will continue to look at evidence based data and deduce my opinion from that, thanks!
It simply isn't representative of the masses. It's representative of those who express an opinion...often when asked in a negative light.
Without a decent sample of responses from people, asked an open question in a neutral environment, you cannot know the the thought of the masses."And I disagree. Excellent! What brilliant debate! | |||
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" Because if more people liked it, there would be evidence of this. And there is none.
Bad logic, there is evidence of harassment because a large project has gone seeking it. No one has surveyed women asking for their experiences of enjoying compliments, there is no website where they can tell these stories. "No, but you'd see it more. Social media allows anyone to say anything. Where are the equal amount of voices which say that they love it when men shout "compliments" in the street? There certainly are some, but they are much much much fewer. | |||
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" The forums of fab are a much smaller representation of women than an all-accessible website. And if there are so many women who love getting compliments in the street, where is the mainstream anecdotal evidence of that? I used something, rather than someone, as the appreciation of beauty is not reserved to people but objects and concepts as well. This is literally the problem. The appreciation of beauty of a person is fundamentally different to the appreciation of the beauty of an object. That is literally what objectification means. Is when you appreciate a person like an object. Because people aren't objects simply there for your admiration. If we never did anything because of the risk...we'd still be in caves. This is a nonsensical statement." There simply is no voice or evidence to substantiate that the masses dislike a compliment...or more people dislike than like...as mentioned, there is no data capturing taking place to establish that. As for "nonsensical statement". I rest my case; thanks for proving my point. | |||
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" And people are more likely to comment, write about and make their feelings known about negatives than they are positives. That's why the BBC has a complaints log, and not a congratulations log. Absolutely! Companies have a complaints form to improve on things they do wrong. So why do men continue to harass women with "compliments" even when thousands of women say they don't like it? Because, and we can't tell, maybe 1000's do like it...maybe 1000's more like it than don't.. why should those that like it miss out on a compliment because some other people don't like them? Because those that don't like it, get offended, best not to say anything. A woman is not going to get offended or feel objectified if she doesn't get a compliment in the street. So why should those be subjected to it just in case they like it? What about the situation, already mentioned in this thread, where the compliment makes their day...or makes them feel happy, appreciated...and yes it may be shallow to take such an approach but this is all very subjective...what one person considers beautiful or attractive another may not. What about those people it brings a genuine joy to, and would make a genuine difference to their day. My point, once again, is that you are all correct...for some it is harassment, for some it would be the highlight of a bad day, week, month etc..or indeed the low point of one. I'm just not convinced anyone has made the argument, with actual data to back it up, that there is an overwhelming opinion, one way or another, as to whether receiving a compliment from a stranger is good or bad. But if they don't get that compliment that "makes their day", are they offended?" No...just not as happy as they should be | |||
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" There simply is no voice or evidence to substantiate that the masses dislike a compliment...or more people dislike than like...as mentioned, there is no data capturing taking place to establish that. As for "nonsensical statement". I rest my case; thanks for proving my point." No one has ever tried to argue that "the masses dislike a compliment". Who doesn't like a compliment? What you're doing here is called a Strawman argument. The point is actually about making unsolicited comments on a person's appearance.
And sure. I'm glad one of your points was proven. Good on you.
I'm out. | |||
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" Because if more people liked it, there would be evidence of this. And there is none.
Bad logic, there is evidence of harassment because a large project has gone seeking it. No one has surveyed women asking for their experiences of enjoying compliments, there is no website where they can tell these stories.
No, but you'd see it more. Social media allows anyone to say anything. Where are the equal amount of voices which say that they love it when men shout "compliments" in the street? There certainly are some, but they are much much much fewer."I thought social media was just to make your friends feel crappy that you were on holiday and they weren't lol | |||
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"But if they don't get that compliment that "makes their day", are they offended? No...just not as happy as they should be" Why do you get to decide how happy a stranger "should" be? I'm perfectly happy not receiving a compliment. Sure, I'd be happier with one, but the moderation of my happiness isn't anyone's responsibility but mine, let alone some random bloke in the street who thinks I have a nice ass. | |||
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" This is literally the problem. The appreciation of beauty of a person is fundamentally different to the appreciation of the beauty of an object. That is literally what objectification means. Is when you appreciate a person like an object. Because people aren't objects simply there for your admiration. " The appreciation is the same on an aesthetic level, but with people there is also more to them. When I pass a person on the street, I may notice their good looks, and it cheers me up (as noted above I wouldn't comment, not the way I roll) in that moment they are no more to me than something (used deliberately) to look at l, I know that person has many more facets than the physical, but I do not interact with them on that level. When I meet someone professionally, I consider them based on their competency at their job, if I get to know then personally then there is yet another level. The appreciation of the superficial in a passing moment, does not prevent a fuller and more nuanced consideration of a person when interacting in a more involved situation. | |||
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"But if they don't get that compliment that "makes their day", are they offended? No...just not as happy as they should be Why do you get to decide how happy a stranger "should" be? I'm perfectly happy not receiving a compliment. Sure, I'd be happier with one, but the moderation of my happiness isn't anyone's responsibility but mine, let alone some random bloke in the street who thinks I have a nice ass." You've missed the point...the point was from their perspective, not mine. | |||
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"I think aswell in real life sometimes pple are too uptight! Some folk just can't take a compliment just as it is 'a simple compliment nothing else'. Sometimes we forget Not every person who passes a compliment wants to have sex with you " | |||
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"I think aswell in real life sometimes pple are too uptight! Some folk just can't take a compliment just as it is 'a simple compliment nothing else'. Sometimes we forget Not every person who passes a compliment wants to have sex with you "What? How rude of them | |||
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" And people are more likely to comment, write about and make their feelings known about negatives than they are positives. That's why the BBC has a complaints log, and not a congratulations log. Absolutely! Companies have a complaints form to improve on things they do wrong. So why do men continue to harass women with "compliments" even when thousands of women say they don't like it? Because, and we can't tell, maybe 1000's do like it...maybe 1000's more like it than don't.. why should those that like it miss out on a compliment because some other people don't like them? Because those that don't like it, get offended, best not to say anything. A woman is not going to get offended or feel objectified if she doesn't get a compliment in the street. So why should those be subjected to it just in case they like it? What about the situation, already mentioned in this thread, where the compliment makes their day...or makes them feel happy, appreciated...and yes it may be shallow to take such an approach but this is all very subjective...what one person considers beautiful or attractive another may not. What about those people it brings a genuine joy to, and would make a genuine difference to their day. My point, once again, is that you are all correct...for some it is harassment, for some it would be the highlight of a bad day, week, month etc..or indeed the low point of one. I'm just not convinced anyone has made the argument, with actual data to back it up, that there is an overwhelming opinion, one way or another, as to whether receiving a compliment from a stranger is good or bad. But if they don't get that compliment that "makes their day", are they offended? No...just not as happy as they should be" Yes, while the ones who don't like it tell their friends later that this perv approached them, to tell them they had a nice ass haha | |||
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"What if another woman came up to a woman and said I think you have lovely eyes or a lovely smile, would that be taken as treating the woman as just an object? No, because they often aren't doing it because they're sexually attracted to them.
often being the key word though....you can't assume.
So you think a woman would comment on another woman's eyelashes and how she cares for them because she wants to get in her pants? Really....?"Often at couples nights in a club, in my experience, it will be the woman of the couple that makes a move through a complimentary approach like this, though it's more likely to be about clothing or other non body parts. Socially it is the least confrontational. | |||
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"Are there rules around this? Is it still ok for a man of say 49 to approach a young woman of 17 and tell her she has a nice bum? Does it depend on perceived attractiveness of the people involved? Would it still be ok if the woman in question was your mum, gran or sister or a vulnerable adult? Is it still a compliment if a man says it to a woman in a professional situation or if a medical professional said it to a patient?" maybe just slightly out of context from the original question lol...but get where you are coming from. | |||
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