FabSwingers.com forum: What's your least favourite opening message?

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

I really don't like the ones where they write a story about us meeting and then all the things he's going to do, culminating in them exploding their cum in some specified location.

When it's a personal message like that and obviously cut n paste, it's very off putting.

Plus there seems little point in meeting them if you already know what's going to happen?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

'I know I'm not what you are looking for but ......'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

'Hi.......'

That's it....just 'Hi'

I admit that my reply isn't much better

'Low....'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I get "no thanks" a lot LOL

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lice_in_BlunderlandWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

'How's your day/weekend going?'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Asking how a club visit went when you have it on your status update!

Also the one line mesaages, mainly hey! Or wanna fuck! With a cock pic attached.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

I hate what u up to? .Miss

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Within 2 mins of creating our profile, with no pics loaded, we had a guy message saying, "fuck now?"

Er...no thanks. Then he sent another 5mins later, say "well??"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ackDMissMorganCouple
over a year ago

Halifax

"Within 2 mins of creating our profile, with no pics loaded, we had a guy message saying, "fuck now?"

Er...no thanks. Then he sent another 5mins later, say "well??""

Classy!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

'x'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

Oh, and 'How are you doing on/enjoying this site?'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Stop fucking stalking me Tosh

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Can I ask you a question?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

"Can I ask you a question?

I'm always tempted to respond 'No' And have done at least once.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are you looking for.

Argh x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Hi Dad"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I seem to attract terrible one liners but "would you consider selling me your worn undies" was a low point

also the "hi" "I know you're not looking for men" are common x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Would you be interested in a doctor?"

No, I'm quite well thank you

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Can I ask you a question?

I'm always tempted to respond 'No' And have done at least once.

Me too. Or I say why?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything that isnt fluent english, doesn't have to be entirely grammatically correct, but at least make an effort to write clearly and make it understandable.

Or ..

The first messages that briefly state what they envisage doing to you.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

mine wud be "hi uve got to be the sexiest tgirl on fab and would love to meet " lol go get ya glasses on lol x

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Love the pics errrr what pics or hi sexy errr u no idea what i look like ...still gettin them even tho hidden. The worst ones for me are tellin me he gonna make me cum as he knows what he doing errrr i know what i doing,i blocking ....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

I quite like the 'how are you finding the site' ones. I'm always tempted to respond with 'I have it bookmarked so usually find it quite easily thanks'.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

There's a few I hate all have been mentioned;

One liners like "hey" or "hi" or even "X"and

The over sexual stories

And "I know I'm no what you're looking for but"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ants Horse Hung CockMan
over a year ago

co durham

"I get "no thanks" a lot LOL"

That's more than me. I usually just get the deleted response!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"I get "no thanks" a lot LOL

That's more than me. I usually just get the deleted response!

Do t feel bad according to the sites FAQ's that's a no thanks anyway so you're doing well

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *vgloryholebs16TV/TS
over a year ago

Bristol.

Hi sexy

Hi babe...&

even worse...darling...aaaggghhh

I prefer ...dunno what to say or i am quite shy etc Ax

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Face pic?"

From silhouettes with no public/private galleries

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *lice_in_BlunderlandWoman
over a year ago

Staffordshire

"Stop fucking stalking me Tosh "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ants Horse Hung CockMan
over a year ago

co durham

"I get "no thanks" a lot LOL

That's more than me. I usually just get the deleted response!

Do t feel bad according to the sites FAQ's that's a no thanks anyway so you're doing well

I feel do much better now!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems that striking the balance between the sending the right message and wrong message is very hit and miss. If it's a first message, what's wrong with a simple hello, how you doing type of ice breaker?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It seems that striking the balance between the sending the right message and wrong message is very hit and miss. If it's a first message, what's wrong with a simple hello, how you doing type of ice breaker?

Nothing...if you get one a day...if you get 70 a day would you really answer each one?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London

"Show me/us your cock" or "how big is that BBC"

i always respond with a hi nice to meet you too i either get an apology or blocked after that

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

""Hi Dad"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I get "no thanks" a lot LOL

That's more than me. I usually just get the deleted response!

That's all I ever get

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I have a few pet hates especially CV type ones, overly explicit ones or any with ugly willies mix. The ones with all three are instantly blocked.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iforfun999Man
over a year ago

Haverfordwest

meet

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iforfun999Man
over a year ago

Haverfordwest

skype

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

A lot of people find that kind of small talk TOO generic. No one REAKLY cares how your day is going.

Read their profile, take an interest in what they've written and pick up on something you can talk with them about. Show them that you're on the same page.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iforfun999Man
over a year ago

Haverfordwest

you can massage me and make me cum.

That was an opening message from a guy, which I replied to say that I could do with a massage too, because I had a bad back. His reply was:

I don't do anything with guys.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You don't look very hairy for a Polarbear

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site) OP
over a year ago

"You don't look very hairy for a Polarbear

It's a good point.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"You don't look very hairy for a Polarbear

It's a good point."

I suppose you don't look crazy either!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything that starts "I've just read your profile......" Only to free wheel off into a series of questions/requests which, had they actually read my profile, they wouldn't have bothe_ed with in the first place. I took the time to write it, it would be nice if the odd one or two took the time to read it. Hurrumph.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One of the replies I got to my 'thank you for your message, but I'm not looking to hook up at the moment' got a 'but I messaged you and you're in a wheelchair'

I wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't happened to me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Fancy a fuck or meet etc especially when its a pretty non existent profile with no pics, how can you possibly tell if you want to meet in that situation? Very crude, descriptive scenarios about what they want to do with you. As an opening message from a complete stranger I find them a little immature and disrespectful not to mention somewhat creepy, at least get to know someone first, see what they like/don't like.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"One of the replies I got to my 'thank you for your message, but I'm not looking to hook up at the moment' got a 'but I messaged you and you're in a wheelchair'

I wouldn't have believed it if it hadn't happened to me. "

WTF!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

" I know I'm not what you're looking for but I do have a big cock " followed by picture of cock

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

Do u skype .... or kik ?????

I do kick when im.in a bad mood ...yes !!!!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Unfortunately" tends to be the first word of a reply to us, followed by an explanation of why they won't meet

oh woe is us

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Do u skype .... or kik ?????

I do kick when im.in a bad mood ...yes !!!!"

lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Messages where they attach a pic and it's just of their body and not their head.

Why?????

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"Anything that starts "I've just read your profile......" Only to free wheel off into a series of questions/requests which, had they actually read my profile, they wouldn't have bothe_ed with in the first place. I took the time to write it, it would be nice if the odd one or two took the time to read it. Hurrumph. "

Oh yes that's a good one too

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *estmidscoupleCouple
over a year ago

West Midlands

" So when are you going to be at xxx club/cinema again? You can tell me and I wont share it with anyone"....!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Anything that starts with a ~ 'you think you are so......but you're just a........

*use your imagination to fill in the blanks*

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Much as we enjoy a single guy (and we really do) We've unfortunately had to filter them out of messaging us. Fed up with one word messages, like "meet" or even two word ones "free now?"

T was on here as a single guy so knows how hard it is but even so.

We now choose the single guys we want to corrupt....Sorry, meet with

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Here is my handy guide if you are stuck for replies to standard fab messages;

What you up to? - On here relying to you

What you looking for? - My marbles, if you happen to see them please let me know

How do you find fab? - I use google but other search engines are just as good

What are you wearing? - Clothes, its England, generally too cold not to

Got a face pic? - Yes thanks, I have

Are you free? - Not entirely but I'm good value for money and am often on offer at the end of the day

Can I destroy your pussy? No, and consider yourself reported to the RSPCA

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The sort of message that most annoys me usually comes from couples.

" Hi, send us a face pic" Or just "Hi"

As a first message, that's really, really lame. Am I supposed feel grateful?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *edMan
over a year ago

cambridgeshire

"I really don't like the ones where they write a story about us meeting and then all the things he's going to do, culminating in them exploding their cum in some specified location.

When it's a personal message like that and obviously cut n paste, it's very off putting.

Plus there seems little point in meeting them if you already know what's going to happen?"

Opening message.. Don't think I've been troubled by those

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *allipygousMan
over a year ago

Leicester

"What are you looking for.

Argh x"

"Someone who reads our profile"?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ucyfur77Woman
over a year ago

Pleasuretown

"'I know I'm not what you are looking for but ......'

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"What are you looking for.

Argh x"

Infuriating

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubbykittenWoman
over a year ago

Kent

"I really don't like the ones where they write a story about us meeting and then all the things he's going to do, culminating in them exploding their cum in some specified location.

When it's a personal message like that and obviously cut n paste, it's very off putting.

Plus there seems little point in meeting them if you already know what's going to happen?"

I so agree! I realise it's intended to fire my imagination but I don't even know the guy so noooooo.... a pre written script turns me off! I don't want to know the ending! Just get on with it!! Lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

I hate all of the opening lines outlined in the FAQ section of my profile. The worst one is "Fancy a fuck" of course.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubbykittenWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Text speak

How r u

= delete

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iforfun999Man
over a year ago

Haverfordwest

Further to the one word, first contact message I received which just said: skype

To which I replied in detail, I have just received a second message from him;

Ill show you

That's it! I don't feel the need to block anyone, so if he want more, he will have to work a tad harder.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How big r u"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

""How big r u""

Well, it's a fair point.....

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

This week I had .... " I'd love to eat your poo "

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This week I had .... " I'd love to eat your poo "

You still haven't let me...

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"This week I had .... " I'd love to eat your poo "

You still haven't let me..."

It's your turn very soon

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi babe.....how's u?

Or...

Great pics...fancy a chat? ..when they live in Plymouth

Or...

Wot u up to?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ndrew1972Man
over a year ago

Roscrea

"Can I ask you a question?

Best answer to this:

"You just did"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

How bigs your cock?

Why can't you meet right now?

I've just about stopped messaging ppl as I Cba taking the time and effort to see it deleted 5 mins later, I'll stick to the forum as I've found it easier to break the ice.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ervent_fervourMan
over a year ago

Halifax

I've practically given up on sending them.

You need to catch exactly the right person in exactly the right mood with exactly the right message(not to mention choice of photo/s)in order to get even a response. Nightmare.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It's funny that many women say on their profile that they don't want to receive the "Hey how are you?" type messages yet guess what women message me when they're the first to message me? You guessed it!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Within 2 mins of creating our profile, with no pics loaded, we had a guy message saying, "fuck now?"

Er...no thanks. Then he sent another 5mins later, say "well??""

hope he earned first place on your block list

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"It's funny that many women say on their profile that they don't want to receive the "Hey how are you?" type messages yet guess what women message me when they're the first to message me? You guessed it!"

shame you have nothing positive to say today

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ELLONS AND CREAMWoman
over a year ago

stourbridge area

I get "Do you have any other pics"????

To which I reply .

Yes I have a lovley one of my dog wearing a bandana ... would you like to see that ??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Are you bi-curious"

Even though my profile states str8!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hi or what you up to.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

'I'd like to....' followed by a stream of vulgarity. I expect it from foolish young men, but when it comes from 50 yr olds it astonishes me frankly.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ulfilthmentMan
over a year ago

Just around the corner

Nothing...if you get one a day...if you get 70 a day would you really answer each one? "

Probably not, but I'm not sure why it would be as annoying as all the 'fancy a xxxx' ones.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rfeelgoodMan
over a year ago

london

"This week I had .... " I'd love to eat your poo "

Is it of the nutty type though lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rfeelgoodMan
over a year ago

london

Things is if you really like that person no one here going give a hoot what someone wrote and don't lie cos you know its true

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *rfeelgoodMan
over a year ago

london

"Things is if you really like that person no one here going give a hoot what someone wrote and don't lie cos you know its true "

Except the poo eating one lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *asokittyWoman
over a year ago

Nr Worksop

Hi.(I tend to reply out of politeness but then they think that's a come on...may have to stop that)

You look beautiful (I have no pics showing for you to make that assumption )

I'd like to fuck you.(I'd like a million pounds, shit happens)

I love bbw. ..(just no)

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ivilizedkinkCouple
over a year ago

harrow

"Hi how u doin" I find irritating. Alway want to reply with something like. "We'll apart from the crippling back pain ,corns and chronic wind ,I'm doing very well thanks" but I tend not to as I'm too polite

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The badly written attempts at an erotic story really don't do it for me. I find the narrative cringe worthy and because I've never seen or met the sender, it's not going to be him I'm imagining even if the story was good!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *urvymamaWoman
over a year ago

Doncaster

"Things is if you really like that person no one here going give a hoot what someone wrote and don't lie cos you know its true "

as a sapiosexual I can tell you that isn't true at all, the message matters

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *idsAndyMan
over a year ago

Worcestershire

I'm a single guy.... So I don't usually get them

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I'm a single guy.... So I don't usually get them

I'm a single guy and at least once a day I get "I can meet now ok?" Then again bi guys get a lot of the shit women do and being TV, don't even go there sister!

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ed LipstickWoman
over a year ago

Fucksville

"The badly written attempts at an erotic story really don't do it for me. I find the narrative cringe worthy and because I've never seen or met the sender, it's not going to be him I'm imagining even if the story was good!"

This always cracks me up! More so when they end the message with "so what do you think?"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What you into??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Free Paddy Power bet? I say yes please and I never hear back from them lol.

I'm rubbish at sending messages, never quite know what to say somimoften compliment the women in their profile pictures.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

WUU2. Not even a question mark. It irks me.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *ubbykittenWoman
over a year ago

Kent

Any message where they call me 'hun'. Atilla the hun??

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are you?

I've had that on a number of occasions.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *iss_tressWoman
over a year ago

London

"'x'"

Yep...I've had subject: xx, message: x...now I ask you, why bother?

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

"I'm a single guy.... So I don't usually get them

"
true that mate lol

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *abes in the woodWoman
over a year ago

wales

I get do u fancy sucking me in your area.

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"How you doin?" Never reply.

"Nice tits" replies sarcastically "Yes I like them"

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Too many to list

fuck me

scenarios

I'm near you with work

got any face pics

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By *h1tewolfMan
over a year ago

Rubery

"Much as we enjoy a single guy (and we really do) We've unfortunately had to filter them out of messaging us. Fed up with one word messages, like "meet" or even two word ones "free now?"

T was on here as a single guy so knows how hard it is but even so.

We now choose the single guys we want to corrupt....Sorry, meet with

Pick me, then! I can write more than a line so that means my penmanship is really good

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"Much as we enjoy a single guy (and we really do) We've unfortunately had to filter them out of messaging us. Fed up with one word messages, like "meet" or even two word ones "free now?"

T was on here as a single guy so knows how hard it is but even so.

We now choose the single guys we want to corrupt....Sorry, meet with

Pick me, then! I can write more than a line so that means my penmanship is really good

Reply privately

Reply in forum

Reply +quote

Post new Message to Thread