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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Hi all hope you understand the reasons for asking this question.

I have through a social networking site (yes they are evil lol) met an old flame from school/early working life and over the course of the last 6 months we have caught up, chatted long, met for coffee, and had a little fun together. She is in a loveless marriage after 3 kids and 15 years and wants more from life. She is a sexy woman and is very sexual and we think maybe she would enjoy swinging as she would love to meet a woman as well as other things on her to do list lol. But the reason for asking this question is this. She had a birth defect that came about as a result of the Thalidomide drug her mum took, this defect (if you want to call it that but I don’t like the description) is that one of her arms never fully formed below the elbow. To me and many many others this isn’t a problem but there are the small minded few everywhere. But with this in mind she is very wary of taking the step across into this wonderful site and lifestyle. She is multi orgasmic, squirts enough to float a battleship lol, great at her o levels and really really enjoys all aspects of sex. So I was looking for a little help and maybe a few encouraging messages here to help me convince her that this would be a good sep to the next level of enjoyment for us both or even her without me all the time. As I sayI hope you understand why I am asking and yes I appreciate most people here and in life are polite and non judgemental but a little reassurance would help make her mind up.

Mark

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I hope you are ready for what maybe heading your way fella.

You playing with a married female and asking for tips on how she can further complicate her marital mistakes might not go down very well in here.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I doubt you'll find many people on this site that will help you assist your friend in cheating.

You may call it being judgemental, others will call it making a choice. It's also unfair to make assumptions that people would be shallow for not playing with your friend because of her disability. Again people have personal preferences. It's arrogance to assume they are shallow because they exclude you.

I don't think you'll get the support you crave here - but hey, you never know: it takes all sorts!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

as the other post states she more likely to be judged on her marital status than her disability.I had many doubts as to my own attractiveness when i started this, but most swingers i have found will barely see the things we worry about as they see the sexuality shine through.Lifes too short , go for it x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

I appreciate the issues and problems attached with her being married, even i a marriage where her husband hardly speaks to her and they haven't had sex in over a year, I was purely after peoples opinins of her disability and if it would put them off meeting or if as I suspect if you get aling then who notices really. But thank you for your replies.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

As others have said it's not the disability that would be the problem we are not that small minded it's the fact she's s cheater.

But to be honest if she was a male doing this she'd be crucified as a female maybe the odd dig but nothing like a married man does.

I wish her luck but tbh I don't think this is for her as her friend I'd advise her this

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'll answer the question you asked rather than read between the lines. I think you will find that in the swinging world folk are a lot less judgemental on physical attributes. Most are accepted easily, big, small, scars, stretch marks the whole lot are taken without an eyelid being battered and if someone does take offence at a 'disablility' then they would just choose not to play with you. I can't for a second see someone in a club being so rude as to say I'm not shagging you because of x y or z. They would just shag someone else. Your friend may find that being in a club where she can be liberated and express her sexual side could be just the confidence boost the doctor ordered.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago


"I'll answer the question you asked rather than read between the lines. I think you will find that in the swinging world folk are a lot less judgemental on physical attributes. Most are accepted easily, big, small, scars, stretch marks the whole lot are taken without an eyelid being battered and if someone does take offence at a 'disablility' then they would just choose not to play with you. I can't for a second see someone in a club being so rude as to say I'm not shagging you because of x y or z. They would just shag someone else. Your friend may find that being in a club where she can be liberated and express her sexual side could be just the confidence boost the doctor ordered. "

Thanks 41niteonly, I appreciate your answer x

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I agree with 41niteonly. Your friend is likely to find that swingers are very non-judgemental about size/shape or slight imperfections. I would suggest that you start by attending a swingers club together, where your friend can soak up the sexy atmosphere, and where she will see that no-one gives her arm a second thought.

And who knows, the confidence that she gets from the attention she will doubtless receive may give her the courage to take action to improve or leave her unhappy marriage. I wish her the very best of luck.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

again, im going to only answer ur question. I too think clubs would be a good starter.

But i guess if she wanted to put a profile up here, and states her 'disability' in her profile, then people can make their minds up early on.

The ones who actually read profiles of course

xxx

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

I will also only answer the question.

You asking people for support to encourage someone to cheat... that is something I believe they should work out for themselves, regardless of any disability.

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By *ensualfire88Man
over a year ago

Edinburgh

I honestly don't think her disability would be a problem in regards to getting meets.

It may not be for everyone, but if you take a look around some of the profiles on the site, it would be fair to say that a fairly wide cross section of shapes, sizes and preferences are available - something for everyone, if you will.

As to her domestic situation, that's one for her to work out.

Lot's of people on here will take a dim _iew, but then lot's of others will take a 'live and let live' stance.

So, in short, if she wanted to do it, it would be doable.

Personally, I'm not sure if 'going public' in a club would be an advisable 1st step, my preference would be for a private meet with the right person/people from the site. But that's for her to decide what works best for her.

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By *arambarMan
over a year ago

swindon

I'm gonna disagree with what's been posted so far and say that there will be some people who are going to act like arseholes and will make derogatory comments. If for example she is contacted by someone and she turns them down then I can imagine her getting the occasional twattish reply... after all overweight women are subjected to this so it'd be naive to think this woman would be treated any differently.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

On the whole, she will be treated in a very respectful way.

Some may stare but I dont believe ill will meant.

good luck if you do go.

as for judging.. not my place.

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By *he_original_poloWoman
over a year ago

a Primark shoebox in Leicester

Right now the OP’s friend has a number of options… choices if you like:

1 – try to find ways to make the relationship work and regain a sex life.

2 - try to find agreed compromises to fulfil her needs with his consent.

3 – plan an escape strategy which will have the best chance of an amicable split; which doesn’t drag the kids into the middle of a war zone.

4 – cheat and hope for the best

If/when she is caught, not just cheating with one man but with others too, she will likely find herself with none of those options left and having to explain her sexual activities to the officials looking into the custody case.

If feeling very strongly that it is wrong for a bunch of strangers to encourage another person to potentially put themselves in this position is being judgemental… then I am proud to be judgemental.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

That's why I said that swinging is not for her she probably fragile from her marriage and I'm not saying her disability effects her but we don't know she may have other issues so me if say no swinging is not for her. If she's in a sexless marriage this is not going to solve it

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