FabSwingers.com mobile

Already registered?
Login here

Back to forum list
Back to Swingers Chat

Giving up swinging

Jump to newest
 

By *pice of life 79 OP   Man
over a year ago

lincoln, sleaford , grantham , nottingham

I've been swinging with my girlfriend for 8 months

She now wants to give it up but I don't

What should I do ?

I could really do with some chat and thoughts

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

You really need it spelling out to you?

If you wanted to stop but she didn't what would you do? (by the way the correct answer is the one that means you get to keep your partner)

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *andACouple
over a year ago

glasgow

Give it up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Only you can decide that, I suppose it always comes down to what do you love more, your girlfriend or the idea of swinging. My one piece of advice is, if she's no longer interested, and you want to be with her, don't try to pressure or convince her to do it again as that could prive a massive downfall in your relationship.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 13/04/16 19:45:35]

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex

Why not carry on with your profile as it is? You get to swing and she doesn't have to do something she doesn't want to.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Why not carry on with your profile as it is? You get to swing and she doesn't have to do something she doesn't want to."

Are you condoning cheating???

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Has she said she wants you to stop swinging?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads "

I've seen that on a profile. It was a 'couple' profile but text changed to say her husband had given it up but she was carrying on.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Why not carry on with your profile as it is? You get to swing and she doesn't have to do something she doesn't want to.

Are you condoning cheating??? "

No. I assumed he wouldn't be daft enough to post about his girlfriend unless she knew about his profile and what was on it

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

do you have a couples profile as well then?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads

I've seen that on a profile. It was a 'couple' profile but text changed to say her husband had given it up but she was carrying on. "

Fuck me you found a unicorn!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Lack of information OP is she giving you an ultimatum to give up swinging or her ?

Or has she decided that swinging is not for her but happy for you to continue swinging ?

If it's the latter then bingo but if it's the first scenario then only you can decide that, not complete strangers on the internet.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads "
Maibe cos they already have offers lined up lol.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum


"Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads "

Because I don't have a boyfriend.

Two ex-FBs wanted me to give it up, but I didn't need to ask a forum for advice. And I'm still here

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Talk to her, find out why. It's not for everyone.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *erbyDalesCplCouple
over a year ago

Derbyshire


"I've been swinging with my girlfriend for 8 months

She now wants to give it up but I don't

What should I do ?

I could really do with some chat and thoughts "

Talk to each other.

Listen to each other.

Consider each other.

Then think if you'd rather be single and not swing, in a committed relationship or be prepared to live a secret life.

Good luck to you both

Mr ddc

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pice of life 79 OP   Man
over a year ago

lincoln, sleaford , grantham , nottingham

Yes she has said that tonight

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads

Because I don't have a boyfriend.

Two ex-FBs wanted me to give it up, but I didn't need to ask a forum for advice. And I'm still here "

You bad woman!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes she has said that tonight "

were you swinging with her on a couples profile?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pice of life 79 OP   Man
over a year ago

lincoln, sleaford , grantham , nottingham


"Why not carry on with your profile as it is? You get to swing and she doesn't have to do something she doesn't want to.

Are you condoning cheating???

No. I assumed he wouldn't be daft enough to post about his girlfriend unless she knew about his profile and what was on it "

She knows about my profile

I've not had a meet on my own while we are together

I'm not a cheat

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pice of life 79 OP   Man
over a year ago

lincoln, sleaford , grantham , nottingham


"do you have a couples profile as well then? "

Yes I do

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been swinging with my girlfriend for 8 months

She now wants to give it up but I don't

What should I do ?

I could really do with some chat and thoughts "

This happened to me. I ended things with her. Best decision I ever made because I wouldn't have been able to avoid cheating on her so it wouldn't have been fair on either of us.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"Why not carry on with your profile as it is? You get to swing and she doesn't have to do something she doesn't want to.

Are you condoning cheating???

No. I assumed he wouldn't be daft enough to post about his girlfriend unless she knew about his profile and what was on it

She knows about my profile

I've not had a meet on my own while we are together

I'm not a cheat "

I didn't say you were I was suggesting that carrying on as you are might be an option or possible compromise. In long term relationships there are many occasions when one really wants something and other really doesn't and there are only really three solutions, compromise, one of you has to put up with a situation they don't like or split up.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice."

Wow! Very wise words .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice.

Wow! Very wise words ."

Yup, time to man up and face the pain. It's not pleasant now but you'll be glad when you find a partner who is as into as you are. Trust me on that one.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been swinging with my girlfriend for 8 months

She now wants to give it up but I don't

What should I do ?

I could really do with some chat and thoughts "

Well which is more important, your relationsgip or swinging?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *rs TootyWoman
over a year ago

Ayrshire

I don't think it's advisable to push her to swing.

She will resent you and it will break your relationship. If you miss the sex side then maybe you and her need to rethink your relationship..

Good luck with things, it's never easy when you wants are different.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Give it up."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Give it up."

Why? She's only a girlfriend. Why make a big commitment to someone you aren't sexually compatible with!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice."

Yes these are wise words ...but I will add it's very difficult to leave this world once you've tried it....vanilla just isn't the same.....but good luck

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod

over a year ago

East Sussex


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice."

As others have said these are wise words.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *uzy444Woman
over a year ago

in the suffolk countryside


"Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads "

maybe we just dont tell everyone when we leave them behind x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice. "

This is exactly what I did n i was married....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *he Hobbit And MeCouple
over a year ago

southampton

If you love her then stop otherwise you will no longer have her to love..

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *awtynNiceCouple
over a year ago

Sounds like it's time for you both to give it up and move forward in a new direction together. X

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads

I've seen that on a profile. It was a 'couple' profile but text changed to say her husband had given it up but she was carrying on. "

Yes I've seen a boyfriend and girlfriend profile, where the guy was 'talking a break', so she was now playing solo. I'm sure this problem goes both ways.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Give it up.

Why? She's only a girlfriend. Why make a big commitment to someone you aren't sexually compatible with! "

That's so true. I think it's so important to be with someone who you are sexually compatible, a sexual equal, otherwise there will be disharmony in the future. For me, the ability to have multiple partners is just the way I am. It's unnatural for me not to, although I suppressed that for years, and there is no way I would be willing to try and be something I'm not again. Only you can decide whether this lifestyle is something you have to have, and only you can decide if you would be happy, in the long term, in a monogamous relationship. We are all different.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads "

Not the same, but similar - a female friend of mine (non-fabs) told me that she'd like to be able to fuck girls occasionally (I already knew she was bi) and/or invite them to join in with her and her boyfriend.

Apparently her boyfriend was horrified when she suggested it.

It was at this point that I did my goldfish impression...

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pice of life 79 OP   Man
over a year ago

lincoln, sleaford , grantham , nottingham


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice."

Yes very good words there mate

My mind isn't made up though

We're having our differences in other areas in the relationship too , she's just sprouted this on me so it's a bit of a shock

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice.

Yes very good words there mate

My mind isn't made up though

We're having our differences in other areas in the relationship too , she's just sprouted this on me so it's a bit of a shock "

Then park this and attend to the other. This site isn't going anywhere. Your partner might. Focus on that.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pice of life 79 OP   Man
over a year ago

lincoln, sleaford , grantham , nottingham


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice.

Wow! Very wise words .

Yup, time to man up and face the pain. It's not pleasant now but you'll be glad when you find a partner who is as into as you are. Trust me on that one."

It's not that easy to find though ha

I'm going to sleep on it tonight I'm struggling to cope at the moment I'm hurting inside

Need someone to talk too outside the relationship I think give me some clear head space

Night all !!!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *HaRiFMan
over a year ago

Beyond the shadows.

This is really something you need to sit down and talk over with your Mrs. Don't forget the grass is never greener on the other side.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads

Not the same, but similar - a female friend of mine (non-fabs) told me that she'd like to be able to fuck girls occasionally (I already knew she was bi) and/or invite them to join in with her and her boyfriend.

Apparently her boyfriend was horrified when she suggested it.

It was at this point that I did my goldfish impression... "

Was he amish or something?

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pice of life 79 OP   Man
over a year ago

lincoln, sleaford , grantham , nottingham


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice.

Yes these are wise words ...but I will add it's very difficult to leave this world once you've tried it....vanilla just isn't the same.....but good luck"

This is exactly true I can't just leave it at the drop of a hat I've made a lot of friends from swinging so I'll lose them too as well as her

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *pice of life 79 OP   Man
over a year ago

lincoln, sleaford , grantham , nottingham


"This is really something you need to sit down and talk over with your Mrs. Don't forget the grass is never greener on the other side.

"

It is my neighbours garden is well greener than mine

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *ophieslutTV/TS
over a year ago

Central


"Why not carry on with your profile as it is? You get to swing and she doesn't have to do something she doesn't want to.

Are you condoning cheating???

No. I assumed he wouldn't be daft enough to post about his girlfriend unless she knew about his profile and what was on it

She knows about my profile

I've not had a meet on my own while we are together

I'm not a cheat "

I think you know the answer then.

You're not interested in cheating and she's not interested in swinging. So I'd retire your swinging and possibly discuss it in the future, unless she's asked to never raise it again.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax


"I've been swinging with my girlfriend for 8 months

She now wants to give it up but I don't

What should I do ?

I could really do with some chat and thoughts "

take it from a single guy keep your gf give up swinging

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I've been swinging with my girlfriend for 8 months

She now wants to give it up but I don't

What should I do ?

I could really do with some chat and thoughts

This happened to me. I ended things with her. Best decision I ever made because I wouldn't have been able to avoid cheating on her so it wouldn't have been fair on either of us. "

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice."

Amazing advise which could be applied to a lot of things in life.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *hocko87Man
over a year ago

dublin

We'll if I had a good partner u would not see me here to b honest . If ur partner wants to give up just go with her decision if u really luv her .

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *iforfun999Man
over a year ago

Haverfordwest

With two different opinions, communication is key to find a third one which is mutually agreeable and a compromise for both.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Discuss it like any 2 normal human beings as you would a job move..house move..holiday or any other aspect of your lives and decide together the way forward x

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Did you meet your partner through swinging? It would be good to know why she wants to give it up. And why you feel.that you don't....Maybe she wasn't having such a good time as you thought...talk to her!

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I think you should do what makes you happy.

Doing what makes you happy, honestly and openly allows your partner to be happy too. If you wish to carry on because that's what makes you happy; being honest with your partner about it allows her to walk away from your relationship with equality. Though she may have lost you (and that may hurt), no one lied.

If your love for your girlfriend is stronger than your desire to swing, then; Goodbye. Good luck.

Just don't lie, be honest. Make the right choice for you. Don't be a cake and eat it guy.

The fact that you are asking this question on this forum, tells me your mind is made up. Let her go. Let her have the same freedom you desire and end amicably. Good luck in your choice."

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No worries find another woman who is into it or condemn yourself to a relationship that is unsatisfactory for you and ultimately unsatisfactory for her too.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Hard to give up your always pulled back here.....

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arah with heelsCouple
over a year ago

Sleaford Lincolnshire

if she wants to give up you give up its a no brainer xx

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *arah with heelsCouple
over a year ago

Sleaford Lincolnshire

that's mr licks opium

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford


"Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads

Not the same, but similar - a female friend of mine (non-fabs) told me that she'd like to be able to fuck girls occasionally (I already knew she was bi) and/or invite them to join in with her and her boyfriend.

Apparently her boyfriend was horrified when she suggested it.

It was at this point that I did my goldfish impression...

Was he amish or something? "

Just shy, apparently.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Y don't we ever see "my boyfriend wants to give up swinging but I dont" threads

Not the same, but similar - a female friend of mine (non-fabs) told me that she'd like to be able to fuck girls occasionally (I already knew she was bi) and/or invite them to join in with her and her boyfriend.

Apparently her boyfriend was horrified when she suggested it.

It was at this point that I did my goldfish impression...

Was he amish or something?

Just shy, apparently."

I know it takes all sorts to make the world go round, but jeez what a pussy

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
 
 

By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If Sam said she didn't want to do this I would give this up in a heartbeat. We only do this as a bit of 'fun' and something different. Yes we have met some great couples (who we chat with regularly), but my love for her FAR outweighs anything or anyone on this site.

Reply privatelyReply in forumReply +quote
Post new Message to Thread
back to top