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Are Some Swinging Couples Really In An Abusive Relationship?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Here's a few examples ..

You've been coerced into it by your partner or previous partner.

You don't really want to do it but you fear if you don't your partner will be unhappy and you may lose them.

Your partner uses your low self esteem issues to get you to agree to it .

Your partner makes sure your typsy or d*unk to get you to go on meets and in clubs.

You fear your partner will leave you if you don't comply to their demands.

You swing because if you don't your partner will just do it alone and you'd rather be involved because of that.

Any of these descriptions apply to your current or previous relationships ?

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By *opsy RogersWoman
over a year ago

London


"Here's a few examples ..

You've been coerced into it by your partner or previous partner.

You don't really want to do it but you fear if you don't your partner will be unhappy and you may lose them.

Your partner uses your low self esteem issues to get you to agree to it .

Your partner makes sure your typsy or d*unk to get you to go on meets and in clubs.

You fear your partner will leave you if you don't comply to their demands.

You swing because if you don't your partner will just do it alone and you'd rather be involved because of that.

Any of these descriptions apply to your current or previous relationships ?

"

I hope to all the gods that if anyone reading this identifies it with their current relationship, realises this is abuse and gets out as fast as they can.

For those that have escaped, you have my admiration.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

None of that applies to us but I've read on here about men beating their partners up to ensure their involvement and years ago we met socially with people where it was clear one partner didn't want to be there.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Here's a few examples ..

You've been coerced into it by your partner or previous partner.

You don't really want to do it but you fear if you don't your partner will be unhappy and you may lose them.

Your partner uses your low self esteem issues to get you to agree to it .

Your partner makes sure your typsy or d*unk to get you to go on meets and in clubs.

You fear your partner will leave you if you don't comply to their demands.

You swing because if you don't your partner will just do it alone and you'd rather be involved because of that.

Any of these descriptions apply to your current or previous relationships ?

"

No. Why do you ask? It seems horrid.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

In talking recently to a friend who it turns out used to help host swingers parties for her husband - yes, the ladies loos often contained tearful wives she said.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

I think that there is a fairly high percentage of abusive relationships and I see no reason why that shouldn't be reflected in swinging.

Lots of people say that to swing successfully you need a strong relationship with no jealousy and I would agree but add "or a coercive one".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Nah not personally applicable.

But seen plenty of tears and angry furtive conversations in clubs to support some of this.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Here's a few examples ..

You've been coerced into it by your partner or previous partner.

You don't really want to do it but you fear if you don't your partner will be unhappy and you may lose them.

Your partner uses your low self esteem issues to get you to agree to it .

Your partner makes sure your typsy or d*unk to get you to go on meets and in clubs.

You fear your partner will leave you if you don't comply to their demands.

You swing because if you don't your partner will just do it alone and you'd rather be involved because of that.

Any of these descriptions apply to your current or previous relationships ?

I hope to all the gods that if anyone reading this identifies it with their current relationship, realises this is abuse and gets out as fast as they can.

For those that have escaped, you have my admiration."

This anyone who has been in abusive relationship is highly unlikely to admit to it on an open forum. Those in abusive relationships whether female or make, feel real fear and will in many cases, unfortunately, do anything to please their partner, as hard as it is.

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By *otblondewife hornyMrCouple
over a year ago

Cambuslang

Seems males are getting it in the neck here. Only instance I've been aware of is a girl really enjoying herself with a different man after she was done she went for a pee to come back to her man getting a bj, she went mental saying I can't believe you'd do that ect....!!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for us, we have a mutual respect and really enjoy from both sides

Never is any pressure put on either of us and if one is not happy then is stops no questions asked...

For those not secure enough to swing I can see this being a problem

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By *uxom redCouple
over a year ago

Shrewsbury

Yes with my ex husband but he also used physical, sexual emotional and financial abuse.

The swinging was the least of Mt problems.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

The second time I went to a club, I saw a woman get smacked round the face by a guy, and he wasn't holding back. She looked terrified and embarrassed (they had arrived together) and ran into the communal toilets and tried to hide in a cubicle only for him to follow her.

I reported it to the club and they removed him, but it was really scary. Felt so awful for her - hope she's ok.

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By *thwalescplCouple
over a year ago

brecon

We've seen a number of couples where some of these traits are apparent, usually at parties.

Jayne is getting quite good at picking up on the cues from other ladies who aren't really into fem fun, but doing it for their partner.

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By *alandNitaCouple
over a year ago

Scunthorpe

Sadly I'm sure that there are couples on the swinging scene that are in an abusive relationship.

Thankfully we haven't seen any evidence of it with anyone we've played with.

Nita

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

No not us!

My husband did once see a woman beating up a man in a club we were at ....can easily be either sex controlling the situation.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Here's a few examples ..

You've been coerced into it by your partner or previous partner.

You don't really want to do it but you fear if you don't your partner will be unhappy and you may lose them.

Your partner uses your low self esteem issues to get you to agree to it .

Your partner makes sure your typsy or d*unk to get you to go on meets and in clubs.

You fear your partner will leave you if you don't comply to their demands.

You swing because if you don't your partner will just do it alone and you'd rather be involved because of that.

Any of these descriptions apply to your current or previous relationships ?

I hope to all the gods that if anyone reading this identifies it with their current relationship, realises this is abuse and gets out as fast as they can.

For those that have escaped, you have my admiration."

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By *ustinCredible.Man
over a year ago

whitecross/sankey valley

I met a couple where it was obvious she was only doing it for him, after an hour chatting and a few drinks he came out with "so you gonna fuck him or what" to which I made my excuses and went home.

I heard the argument start as soon as the door closed behind me, and always hoped she left him but doubt she did.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't meet couples any more. One of the reasons was this. I walked out on two meetings where the pressure on the lady was so intense it was uncomfortable. I had a word in the Shell like of both guys but doubt that made a difference.

Another common request whilst messaging was " talk to my Mrs, she just needs some encouragement as she hasn't done this before".... no. No thank you very much.

Couples became complicated. Which is a shame because I have met some crackers; but it just got too common a scenario

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Here's a few examples ..

You've been coerced into it by your partner or previous partner.

You don't really want to do it but you fear if you don't your partner will be unhappy and you may lose them.

Your partner uses your low self esteem issues to get you to agree to it .

Your partner makes sure your typsy or d*unk to get you to go on meets and in clubs.

You fear your partner will leave you if you don't comply to their demands.

You swing because if you don't your partner will just do it alone and you'd rather be involved because of that.

Any of these descriptions apply to your current or previous relationships ?

"

have you been watching the archers?

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By *mjdWoman
over a year ago

oswestry

this was brought up after 50 shades came out if anybody is in this situation contact womens aid their web site is really helpful and the law has now changed regarding abuse so you can now include emotional and harassment/stalking in this no ive not been affected by this a close friend has

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

We are reticent about meeting couples for this reason. Pepper has a sixth sense in rooting out women who feel like this ... she is very intuitive and empathetic, so it often spoils our fun

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"this was brought up after 50 shades came out if anybody is in this situation contact womens aid their web site is really helpful and the law has now changed regarding abuse so you can now include emotional and harassment/stalking in this no ive not been affected by this a close friend has

"

it is a truly terrible situation to be in, regardless of whether it is in a swinging relationship or a vanilla one. I managed to get away from my ex 6 years ago after being emotionally, physically and financially abused for all of our married life...I am so glad the law has now changed as at the time I had to resort to other measures to get him imprisoned.

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By *elovetofuck2Couple
over a year ago

cannock

We have met one couple where we both could tell the women was really not into either of us, I even took her alone for some girl on girl upstairs to see if was just nerves but it wasn't, she kept stopping half way through to look at me and him and stroke his leg etc.. made me n the oh uncomfortable, needless to say he was enjoying it and not bothered.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't think its just men who bully their partners. ...wasn't thete a lady on a few months back. ...who started a thread about another woman. .who didn't "ask her permission"... before touching her partner. ...she was very abusive to anyone who disagreed with her...and actually named the other woman....

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well my story is a slightly different turn on the same theme.

Exchanged messages and photos with a lovely couple and agreed they would come to mine for drinks and see where that lead.

They arrived and we chatted over wine. The lady asks to use the loo leaves and comes down stairs practically naked. Hubby (or partner) puts his wine down and pronounces "I cannot do this" Can you imagine my face? Lady in stockings high heels on my sofa drinking wine and hubby loosing it?

I asked for a time out to allow the lady to regain composure and some clothes!

I spent the next two hours counselling them on the relative merits of recreational sex. After which I just wanted them to go and sort it out by then it was 2230 and match of the day was just starting!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"this was brought up after 50 shades came out if anybody is in this situation contact womens aid their web site is really helpful and the law has now changed regarding abuse so you can now include emotional and harassment/stalking in this no ive not been affected by this a close friend has

it is a truly terrible situation to be in, regardless of whether it is in a swinging relationship or a vanilla one. I managed to get away from my ex 6 years ago after being emotionally, physically and financially abused for all of our married life...I am so glad the law has now changed as at the time I had to resort to other measures to get him imprisoned."
I hope it was for a long long time

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

Firstly, I find it quite interesting that this discussion has generally continued as though its guys doing the coercing. I wonder the opposite - the one time Ive got unwanted attention in a club it was from two women, both d*unk, both who had arrived with men who were lurking in the background looking sheepish..

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By *reakShow90Man
over a year ago

Manchester/halifax

I have never seen anything like that but if I did I don't know ied feel sick every one is there to enjoy an have fun I think iam a bit old school if I saw abuse ied have to stop it or do some thing could not just stand by

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By *ettyboop61Woman
over a year ago

St Neots

From reading most of the answers and seeing this for myself I think it's probably 60/40% that it's the man that wants to swing in the relationship when you see a happy swinging relationship there is respect on each side and each side is happy what they are doing with no jealousy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Not for most but I have seen it on occasions. If I spot or suspect it then I will not engage in play with the couple. I have asked a couple (well the guy) to leave one of my parties as it was blatantly obvious that his "partner" was there under duress!

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Well I've seen god knows many forum posts on "how do you get your wives into swinging" and loads of comments about them trying to coax them into it and how their wives aren't into it but they are trying to change their minds. Certainty not abuse but a definitive form of bullying x

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