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Do you feel the scene has changed?

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By *bsinthe_boy OP   Man
over a year ago

Luton

Those of us who have been on the scene for a while...do you feel it's changed?

I find on sites, especially this one, I get a lot of guys (usually cheating on wifes) offering to suck me off or wanting me to suck them. Now I know I am down as "bi-curious" but I also state that I won't be involved in cheating or see guys 1-on-1.

Also the proliferation of guys who are openly cheating on a wife/gf. And the sheer number of men who are pushy, won't take "no" for an answer online and who have no social/conversation skills.

At clubs, things have changed less obviously. But I guess the biggest change in my years on the scene is the attitude of the men....as if they feel they are entitled to sex regardless of what the women (and men!) actually want.

Anyone else feel the same?

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

I don't define the scene by this site, it features quite low in my swinging activities. I prefer to meet offsite or in clubs.

Adult tittivation and seeking a virtual reaction is a driver of how things have evolved.

The sense of entitlement is not exclusive to men.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"But I guess the biggest change in my years on the scene is the attitude of the men....as if they feel they are entitled to sex regardless of what the women (and men!) actually want"

Men and women alike you mean?

Not speaking for all but majority of people, I think both sexes have their flaws. Men message you saying 'fuck now' and expect you to jump into bed with them cos they are that amazing!!! Women... Well that's a whole new can of worms... Most are big headed purely cos on this site they probably have an upper hand.

Everyone expects something..

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Those of us who have been on the scene for a while...do you feel it's changed?

I find on sites, especially this one, I get a lot of guys (usually cheating on wifes) offering to suck me off or wanting me to suck them. Now I know I am down as "bi-curious" but I also state that I won't be involved in cheating or see guys 1-on-1.

Also the proliferation of guys who are openly cheating on a wife/gf. And the sheer number of men who are pushy, won't take "no" for an answer online and who have no social/conversation skills.

At clubs, things have changed less obviously. But I guess the biggest change in my years on the scene is the attitude of the men....as if they feel they are entitled to sex regardless of what the women (and men!) actually want.

Anyone else feel the same?"

Been here for a long time. No, I don't think things have changed.

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By *bsinthe_boy OP   Man
over a year ago

Luton

I haven't personally found women that I have conversed with to be big headed, nor have I sensed entitlement. Yes, it is "ladies' choice" here but that hasn't really changed in my time on the scene.

What I do see, both in messages I get from guys and those my wife and friends get, is an increasing number of guys who do expect something from "I want to fuck now" or "wanna watch me wank gonna blow a load lol"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I don't define the scene by this site, it features quite low in my swinging activities. I prefer to meet offsite or in clubs.

Adult tittivation and seeking a virtual reaction is a driver of how things have evolved.

The sense of entitlement is not exclusive to men."
SPOT on!

Swinging in clubs and ANY online activity are simply two different worlds!

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By *aneSmith5TV/TS
over a year ago

away

Not sure if this site has changed.

There are the usual flow of photo less, profile less and not verified who are playing game and have no intention of ever meeting.

However the site is lumpy in that nothing for a while then sudden burst of activity

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London

Don't know about the site, as I have evolved in the way I have used it and have only been here four years. I have only been going to clubs the past year. Mr has been going on and off over twenty years. He says the club scene has changed as its come out from the underground and now is mainstream. Its suffered and diluted because of it .... I have seen the club scene change since I have been involved but that's a limited experience .... of niche clubs.

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

[Removed by poster at 10/04/16 20:52:19]

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By *yrdwomanWoman
over a year ago

Putting the 'cum' in Eboracum

I have been on this site for just over 5 years. I have been swinging for just over 15 years. In general I have not seen much change in either.

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley

Not sure if the site has changed, but I know I have.

Looking for totally different things now than I did when I first joined, and happy to say I feel better for it too...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Yes for sure as and when we used to post meets we would get a good number of responses,but now days seems meets happen mostly rapt clubs parties,if go to a club on our own very much ignored by others there even if we try chatting,we get told sorry we looking out for others we supposed to be meeting

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London


"But I guess the biggest change in my years on the scene is the attitude of the men....as if they feel they are entitled to sex regardless of what the women (and men!) actually want

Men and women alike you mean?

Not speaking for all but majority of people, I think both sexes have their flaws. Men message you saying 'fuck now' and expect you to jump into bed with them cos they are that amazing!!! Women... Well that's a whole new can of worms... Most are big headed purely cos on this site they probably have an upper hand.

Everyone expects something.. "

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By *uessWhosBackAgainMan
over a year ago

London


"

The sense of entitlement is not exclusive to men."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Those of us who have been on the scene for a while...do you feel it's changed?

I find on sites, especially this one, I get a lot of guys (usually cheating on wifes) offering to suck me off or wanting me to suck them. Now I know I am down as "bi-curious" but I also state that I won't be involved in cheating or see guys 1-on-1.

Also the proliferation of guys who are openly cheating on a wife/gf. And the sheer number of men who are pushy, won't take "no" for an answer online and who have no social/conversation skills.

At clubs, things have changed less obviously. But I guess the biggest change in my years on the scene is the attitude of the men....as if they feel they are entitled to sex regardless of what the women (and men!) actually want.

Anyone else feel the same?"

Personally, I've been looking for casual sex on the internet for about the last 15 years. I don't remember a time when I didn't constantly hear from people who were cheating on their spouses, people who are pushy, people who won't take no for an answer, and people with few conversational and social skills.

I suspect what you are noticing is the fact that in the last decade or so it's become *much* more socially acceptable to be bisexual. So now men are more commonly behaving this way towards other men as well as women.

In short - you're experiencing something vaguely what it's like to be a woman on the internet looking for sex or relationships. Sucks, doesn't it?

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By *imiUKMan
over a year ago

Hereford

I don't think that clubs becoming more mainstream (if indeed, they are) is a bad thing - some clubs are fucking awful and could do with a kick in the arse.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I wouldn't know, as I haven't been doing this for long, but my husband feels the scene was more relaxed fifteen years ago. Less pushiness for starters, but the main thing that surprised him when he starting swinging again was that there are women who only play with black guys, or women who only play with VVWE guys, or women who only play with women, or couples where the guy just watches, or couples who only do soft play. His memories was that it was a bit more 'go with the flow' with nobody in a 'box' as to what type of play they do.

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By *awandOrderCouple
over a year ago

SW London


"I don't think that clubs becoming more mainstream (if indeed, they are) is a bad thing - some clubs are fucking awful and could do with a kick in the arse. "

Mainstream isn't great though, it dilutes it

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't know, as I haven't been doing this for long, but my husband feels the scene was more relaxed fifteen years ago. Less pushiness for starters, but the main thing that surprised him when he starting swinging again was that there are women who only play with black guys, or women who only play with VVWE guys, or women who only play with women, or couples where the guy just watches, or couples who only do soft play. His memories was that it was a bit more 'go with the flow' with nobody in a 'box' as to what type of play they do."

I would hazard a guess that women have become more sexually empowered and therefore are asking for what they really want, rather than having to go with the flow. Also I suspect the scene is bigger, and therefore you don't just have to fuck whatever you're given. The internet delivers more choice than contact mags.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"

What I do see, both in messages I get from guys and those my wife and friends get, is an increasing number of guys who do expect something from "I want to fuck now" or "wanna watch me wank gonna blow a load lol" "

I was talking with a (male) friend of mine about this phenomenon today. He and I can't imagine an approach like that working. We consider ourselves "evolved" in that we actually read profiles and use that information to approach people in a way that is specific to them. And it's NEVER..."let's fuck "

On a psychological level is as if these "oneliner d-bags" have at some point been rewarded with success in this approach. Or at the very least, haven't felt a negative consequence for using it.

A shame really, because it gives the rest of us single guys (who can read) a bad name.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"I wouldn't know, as I haven't been doing this for long, but my husband feels the scene was more relaxed fifteen years ago. Less pushiness for starters, but the main thing that surprised him when he starting swinging again was that there are women who only play with black guys, or women who only play with VVWE guys, or women who only play with women, or couples where the guy just watches, or couples who only do soft play. His memories was that it was a bit more 'go with the flow' with nobody in a 'box' as to what type of play they do.

I would hazard a guess that women have become more sexually empowered and therefore are asking for what they really want, rather than having to go with the flow. Also I suspect the scene is bigger, and therefore you don't just have to fuck whatever you're given. The internet delivers more choice than contact mags."

I think he was more talking about parties and clubs when he made that observation to me. He didn't use contact mags or meet people outside the club scene. But yes you are right, the interrnet certainly allows for more choice, which I feel is much better for private meets.

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