FabSwingers.com forum: Self entitkement

By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

*sigh* I didn't check did I. Go on, do your worst.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?"

He clearly thought he met your criteria , so did you tell him where he didn't ?

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By *rightonsteveMan
over a year ago

Brighton - even Hove!

"I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?"

I think he was curious as to why. I would have said "cos ya cocks too small, matey".

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"*sigh* I didn't check did I. Go on, do your worst."

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By *umpleteazerWoman
over a year ago

Flintshire

Quite often I get asked why when I say they are not my type. I'm like, 'Really, you want me to tell you the ways in which I don't find attractive?'

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

"*sigh* I didn't check did I. Go on, do your worst."

You deserve to be berated mercilessly for that.

Sadly, I'm too kind to administer the scorn.

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

"I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?"

This is why I don't reply to messages from people I don't want to meet (relying on the FAQs which say 'no reply = not interested'). Too many men take any reply as a foot in the door, and continue with:-

1) why?

2) I can change

3) abuse

I even got irritated at the ones who said 'thanks for replying, many don't' ... what is it that they don't understand? I don't want to meet them, I don't want them in my inbox again! Grrrrr

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By *llie RoseWoman
over a year ago

By the seaside

"I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?

1) why?

2) I can change

3) abuse

I even got irritated at the ones who said 'thanks for replying, many don't' ... what is it that they don't understand? I don't want to meet them, I don't want them in my inbox again! Grrrrr"

Ditto

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had that, but I get "I'm too good for you anyway" and "your loss" lol

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?"

I don't see what the issue is. He wasn't being rude.

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By *iewMan
Forum Mod
over a year ago

Angus & Findhorn

maybe he just wanted a pointer on why you were saying No, it may help his success in the future

doesn't speak self entitlement to me.

although, I don't think you have to reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My favourite was a guy who said I was shallow after my polite 'no thanks'.

He blocked me before I could say it's not shallow to have a choice in the matter of who I go to bed with. It is entitlement. Women on fab apparently have a moral duty to lie down and shut up? Ha! Not likely.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?

I don't see what the issue is. He wasn't being rude."

Maybe the assumption that just because someone thinks they meet all our requirements we still have personal choice, and shock horror can say no to people we don't find attractive.

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By *ayd2pinkTV/TS
over a year ago

TENTERDEN

I get asked why not often. My usual reply is to say: yes I can tell you but your not going to like the answer.

Very few reply.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Last night I got asked what I was doing on here if I wasn't prepared to meet him. He didn't reply again after I responded

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My favourite was a guy who said I was shallow after my polite 'no thanks'.

a lot of men don't understand it when women have sexual choices. this bothers me.

i think more don't feel entitled though than do feel it.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

someone call the grammar police

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By *ost SockMan
over a year ago

West Wales and Cardiff

"someone call the grammar police

Topsy is one of the grammar police isn't she? I don't mean that in a bad way because I've got stripes on my arms myself.

Apologies if I'm wrong Topsy. If I'm right - who polices the grammar police? Probably the nazis, I guess.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

if anyone answers back after I've given a polite 'no thanks, not my type' it gets them an instant block

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By *heBakeOLiteGirlWoman
over a year ago

62 West Wallaby Street (not real address)

"I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?"

That's fairly nice compared to what I got. A guy I recently said no thanks to called me a TV.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

women saying men have a sense of entitlement on here? that's a bit rich.

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By *icecouple561Couple
Forum Mod
over a year ago

East Sussex

Because we live on the coast its quite often suggested that people nip down and spend the weekend but we had to laugh at the people who were kind enough to suggest that if they didn't fancy us they would be prepared to get a hotel

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By *reenEyedWifeCouple
over a year ago

Market Harborough

"My favourite was a guy who said I was shallow after my polite 'no thanks'.

a lot of men don't understand it when women have sexual choices. this bothers me.... "

I agree. It's as though they think we're on here therefore we'll shag anyone.

If someone asks why I say we "aren't a good match" I always respond truthfully but diplomatically ...

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By *etter the devil you knowWoman
over a year ago

Lyndhurst

"maybe he just wanted a pointer on why you were saying No, it may help his success in the future

doesn't speak self entitlement to me.

although, I don't think you have to reply."

I would think that too but its more complicated than that.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It must be a real headache for women lol.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My favourite was a guy who said I was shallow after my polite 'no thanks'.

a lot of men don't understand it when women have sexual choices. this bothers me....

I agree. It's as though they think we're on here therefore we'll shag anyone.

If someone asks why I say we "aren't a good match" I always respond truthfully but diplomatically ...

i can't reply because it is mainly down to looks and/or personality, but mostly looks and i don't find them appealing in any way. so i just ignore them.

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

I don't mind the why bit but I interpreted the 'really?' as his surprise at why I turned HIM down.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't reply I just delete. Tbf I expect the same back too. X

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By *asy247888Man
over a year ago

Kent

I don't think it's always a case of self entitlement, I think sometimes it's just nice to know why. For example is the profile not very good, is because of the pictures on the profile or because of the content of the message. I can imagine for some people some the messages can be a bit repetitive and there are some utterly rude people on here can make a person have a lack of patience and assume the worst of people from the start I suppose.

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I don't think it's always a case of self entitlement, I think sometimes it's just nice to know why. For example is the profile not very good, is because of the pictures on the profile or because of the content of the message. I can imagine for some people some the messages can be a bit repetitive and there are some utterly rude people on here can make a person have a lack of patience and assume the worst of people from the start I suppose."

Whatever answer you are given, none of it could be the truth.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?"

"Nobody else will want to fuck you."

He must have been desperate to lower himself to a standard that nobody else would drop to...

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?

"Nobody else will want to fuck you."

He must have been desperate to lower himself to a standard that nobody else would drop to..."

I love when they do that! Returning a message with insults when not ten seconds before they were ready and waiting with a stiffy.

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By *inaTitzTV/TS
over a year ago

Titz Towers, North Notts

I've not had a cup of tea recently and I'm sat watching Jeeves and Wooster. Anyone fancy brewing up, I'm sure I'm entitled to one

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I told a guy who asked why that I didn't find him attractive so he asked would I still, if he wore a paper bag over his head lol

Also been called a slag and that i look over 60!!

Bothered? Not!!!

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By *ent57Man
over a year ago

... where the streets have no name!

I wouldn't dream of questioning others decisions ... perhaps a reply with ...

"OK.... that's a shame" or to be poetic

"If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

And treat those two impostors just the same;"

I've taken that too far haven't I?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I've had the same, he didn't see why I should base it on his face picture and said it should be based on meeting, guess he was struggling to meet hence I got a snotty reply, hey ho

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs

"My favourite was a guy who said I was shallow after my polite 'no thanks'.

a lot of men don't understand it when women have sexual choices. this bothers me.

i think more don't feel entitled though than do feel it."

Entitlement is a narc trait too.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?

I don't see what the issue is. He wasn't being rude."
I thought the same.

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By *opsy Rogers OP Woman
over a year ago

London

"I declined a man recently and he replied with 'really? why?'

That's a more obvious case, anymore examples?

I don't see what the issue is. He wasn't being rude.I thought the same."

As I explained further up (and I'm not sure where I said he was rude), he was so sure of himself, he was surprised I declined to meet.

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By *dwalu2Couple
over a year ago

Bristol

We had a woman reply with '???' once when we politely declined her...was that an expression of entitlement? Or did she just not understand our message?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

"My favourite was a guy who said I was shallow after my polite 'no thanks'.

a lot of men don't understand it when women have sexual choices. this bothers me.

i think more don't feel entitled though than do feel it.

Entitlement is a narc trait too."

i think it might also be a trait of learning difficulties as well if people cannot understand that other people have needs that won't match theirs.

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By *ishopstippleMan
over a year ago

Purley

"if anyone answers back after I've given a polite 'no thanks, not my type' it gets them an instant block

What even if the reply is: a OK thanks for letting me know, good hunting. etc ?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

One guy wrote back after a polite rejection to say "it was your loss cos I would have given you the best fuck of your life"!!

Oh how I laughed

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By *lighty1Woman
over a year ago

You Dont Need to Know, right now

"What even if the reply is: a OK thanks for letting me know, good hunting. etc ?"

If someone has replied with a polite refusal, it's really best NOT to message again, not even to say 'thanks for letting me know'. Some women get literally 100s of messages a day, and some of them genuinely try to reply to all messages. So their aim is to clear their inbox of all messages EXCEPT those that they want to take further. A "thanks for your polite no thanks" message is just more clutter that they don't need. Just assume that they know you're happy to have had a reply - even though it was a negative one.

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