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sex or relationship?

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

With a regular partner or FB which should take priority? just the sex or maintaining the relationship?

Interested to hear opinions on this matter.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

If it's a fuckbuddy there IS no relationship, isn't that the whole point? Sex without commitment?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I don't understand the question? Sex with others or each other??? Priority?

Can you elaborate?

V x

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Yes term fb is misleading sorry, we have been fb's for over 9 months, I foolishly thought that this would constitute a form of relationship? I am being pressured into doing something I do not wish to do, which will end our relationship, hence my question...

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By *iamondjoeMan
over a year ago

Glastonbury

I've always understood a fuck buddy as someone with whom you have little or no commitment beyond the bedroom.

You might be friends but it is essentially convenience.

A relationship... well, you don't need me to spell that out...

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

My own opinion.... Fuck buddy... A buddy is a friend, so even if you're not in a relationship in as much as you're in love or planning a future together, you are "friends". And as such you should be granted the same (mutual) respect as you would any other friend.

I put "" around friends there because I see a difference between fab and real life but it's different for everyone of course.

NSA does not provide you the right to treat anyone poorly.

If someone tried to get me to do something I didn't want to do i would be fucking in the general direction of off.

V

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"Yes term fb is misleading sorry, we have been fb's for over 9 months, I foolishly thought that this would constitute a form of relationship? I am being pressured into doing something I do not wish to do, which will end our relationship, hence my question... "

Relationships will always take precedence over sex in my book, and all such ongoing arrangements are a relationship in one form or another. But we all make choices, and if your fb chooses sex acts over you, not much you can do in the end except walk away.

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By *risky_MareWoman
over a year ago

...Up on the Downs


"My own opinion.... Fuck buddy... A buddy is a friend, so even if you're not in a relationship in as much as you're in love or planning a future together, you are "friends". And as such you should be granted the same (mutual) respect as you would any other friend.

I put "" around friends there because I see a difference between fab and real life but it's different for everyone of course.

NSA does not provide you the right to treat anyone poorly.

"

Amen.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

What are you being asked to do?

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

never do anything you feel pressured into

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By *lik and PaulCouple
over a year ago

cahoots


"Yes term fb is misleading sorry, we have been fb's for over 9 months, I foolishly thought that this would constitute a form of relationship? I am being pressured into doing something I do not wish to do, which will end our relationship, hence my question... "

I think you've answered your own question. If anyone tried to pressure me into doing something I didn't want to at any given time I would walk away....but that doesn't just apply to relationships that applies to life.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Partner of course a fuck buddy is just a fuck buddy

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Yes term fb is misleading sorry, we have been fb's for over 9 months, I foolishly thought that this would constitute a form of relationship? I am being pressured into doing something I do not wish to do, which will end our relationship, hence my question... "

..

If you don't want to do it.. Then don't do it

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By *ancs MinxWoman
over a year ago

Burnley


"Yes term fb is misleading sorry, we have been fb's for over 9 months, I foolishly thought that this would constitute a form of relationship? I am being pressured into doing something I do not wish to do, which will end our relationship, hence my question...

I think you've answered your own question. If anyone tried to pressure me into doing something I didn't want to at any given time I would walk away....but that doesn't just apply to relationships that applies to life."

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

It seems to me, OP, that you have read more into the "friendship" than the other party, which is of course the risk always faced in these situations. Ultimately, however you choose to dress it up, you are using each other for sex without any emotional commitment.

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By *otgirl32Woman
over a year ago

Ashton Under Lyne

I have a slightly different definition of a FB. A FB is someone you have really enjoyable sex with on a regular basis. Both sides agree to no EXPECTATION of any relationship other than sex. In reality, I think in many FB couples at least one person develops deep feelings for the other, but won't voice those feelings because that is what the pact was. As a result people can continue being good FBs for years.

Agree with the comments about the OP seeming to have gotten into something that wasn't previously agreed on.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you all for the responses, some very valid points on both sides.. I especially agree with the notion that you should still respect the wishes of your partner irrespective of the perceived status of your relationship.

For reference I am now informed by her,that wearing a condom after the length of time we have been together (in a very on off relationship)makes her now feel "dirty"

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

I'd prioritise my relationship, unless that person wasn't prioritising me and i'd asked them to, that would pretty much be the end of my relationship anyway.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you all for the responses, some very valid points on both sides.. I especially agree with the notion that you should still respect the wishes of your partner irrespective of the perceived status of your relationship.

For reference I am now informed by her,that wearing a condom after the length of time we have been together (in a very on off relationship)makes her now feel "dirty" "

Ah right, it appears she thinks she's had enough sex with you to merit a status upgrade.

Time to quit the arrangement if you don't also want the same.

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By *uperock99Man
over a year ago

Milton Keynes

In a relationship one person is always right, the other person is a woman

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

Sex should always be consensual. It should have an element of trust and hopefully it should be enjoyable. As soon as any form of psychological or emotional blackmail takes place - Walk away.

Once someone tries to force another - there is no relationship, no respect.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

[Removed by poster at 15/03/16 15:23:52]

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago


"Thank you all for the responses, some very valid points on both sides.. I especially agree with the notion that you should still respect the wishes of your partner irrespective of the perceived status of your relationship.

For reference I am now informed by her,that wearing a condom after the length of time we have been together (in a very on off relationship)makes her now feel "dirty" "

I guess that would depend on whether you are exclusive fwb/fbs? If you are and trust each other then I guess she is just asking you to 'up' your relationship slightly. Perhaps both get tested before you decide.

But op, it sounds as if you are not keen on what she is asking. You both need to talk about your reasons. It needs to work for both of you or neither of you.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for your response, Our relationship has ended since I started this post.... I had invested a lot of myself in terms of commitment and emotion, I am bitterly disappointed at the way we have ended, simply because I wished to continue wearing protection. She has already arranged a date night for the weekend... seems I was right, but I am sad.

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By (user no longer on site)
over a year ago

perfectly ok to be sad about it.

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By (user no longer on site) OP   
over a year ago

Thank you for your reply, the sadness will pass.... I made an ethically sound judgment, lesson learned... dont get mixed up with a hardcore fabs girl!

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